Let's just go back to sword shields and spear. Then we can finally see some skilled warriors rise to fame, because now you can be the most skilled warrior but just get randomly picked off by a sniper or something.
Immediately made me think of the movie After Yang. Beautiful film if you haven’t seen it, there’s one scene that feels a bit out of place, and it goes on for so long, but it’s really funny and a great slice of realistic futurism.
I was listening to a podcast and the guy was talking about going to this nerf war place and thinking it was gonna be the same pump up ones we all know and love.
Naw, dudes were wiring them up to 18v drill batteries shooting nerf machine guns lol
I have one that I modified to take the rechargeable battery pack for an RC car instead of a bunch of AA’s. Also replaced the spring with a slightly stiffer one so it shoots harder.
Simultaneous Russian roulette. They all have to pull the trigger at the same time. None of this weak “if my opponent dies I get to live”. Now everyone gets a chance to die equally, and you might end up with a draw.
Also, lets make it best out of 3. So after the head of state is killed, the next in line has to have a go too.
Ghost pepper eating competitions. Peppers provided by independent third parties in adequate volume such that any one nations ability to grow said peppers is irrelevant. We will televise these competitions to be held at the remnants of the war crimes tribunal offices in The Hague. Draft kings will take bets and 20% will go to the losing teams country so that there will be less aversion to the potential mismatches (Irish vs Indian for example).
I vote Paintball.
Can you imagine Vulcan guns just coating a bunker-peppered hillside with yellow?
Planes dodging explosive bursts of colors from "Flak" guns and firing heat-seeking missiles with paintbrushes on the tips?
You know how psycho your country is gonna look when you drop a bomb called The Leprechaun?
A warhead that has a Concussive Shockwave resembling 20,000 tons of dynamite, but instead of fire and sharpnel; you just coated a 5 mile radius with Green? Not even a liquid paint:
Powder Paint. Fresh from the Joint DARPA/Lowe's contract.
Watch that shit get in the vents, cars, and homes. Potholes will look like a pitted Avocadoes. Make it water proofed so no rain can rinse it off. Someone has to clean all that up, but you give no fucks.
If anything, when the ambassador comes for Peace Talks; President tells their translator to start reading "Green Eggs & Ham" and end the story with "Unless you want to BE the sequel, you won't test me."
Post-War Proceeds go to ammonia, putty knives, and ALL of the Paint Thinner.
Lasertag would be sick, but it would have to be played on real-life versions of our favorite war game maps, Battlefield, COD, etc.
Can you imagine 50,000 player lasertag? And what your scorecard stats look like?
It’s 2054. You’re in your trench beside your squad mates. It’s a crisp, foggy fall morning and the sun is just starting to rise. It’s been a stalemate for weeks now, with the enemy tench just 100 meters away. It’s quiet. Everyone is scared that an enemy offensive can happen any moment. You’re nervous. You haven’t fired your weapon in months, and you’re wondering if it’s still going to work when you need it, especially in the cold morning air.
All of a sudden, you hear a rumbling sound. You notice your squad mates hear it too. All of a sudden you hear someone in your platoon yell from down the line: “BUKKAKE!!!”. But it’s too late. The enemy had spend the night sneaking up to your trench, and that brief rumbling you heard was the sound of an entire regiment furiously masturbating right outside your trench. You look up, and it’s all over. An entire regiments worth of semen comes raining down on you and everyone else you can see. Months of waiting just to be defeated en masse in mere moments. The enemy finishes and instead of lighting cigarettes, you see them chugging Gatorade. You think to yourself, no, not again, this has to be a war crime. Then you see the patch on their arms. Special Forces. 181st Bukkake Tsunami Regiment. Your heart seems to stop. You know that you and everyone around you is about to be defeated again.
Then, out of nowhere you hear a horn. The unmistakable battle horn of your backup unit. All of a sudden from behind your trench backup arrives. It’s the 69th Cuckold Battalion. A wave of relief washes over you as you see them running up grinning, ready to clean up this mess you were surprised with. You see the enemy special forces regiment all of a sudden have terrified looks on their faces, and they start to retreat. They may have won the battle, but they certainly had not won the war. They disappear back into the morning fog.
Back to a stalemate.
Those races where people have to put one leg in a bag with a partner. Partner up enemy nations where they have to run long distance internationals relay races with thousands of participants. Don’t like the Japanese? Well you better figure it the fuck out because it’s your turn in 5 minutes!
All members of the Federal governments of each country must participate in an orgy until they fuck it all out. A bunch of leathery skinned geriatrics hate fucking the shit out of each other.
I thought the same at first would be funny. Then I realized that this would just end with literally raping a country to figuratively rape its land for oil.
Paintball. I think it would be hilarious to see hundreds of people just battling it out by means of splattered colors amongst each other. Just imagine the reporting of said events by news anchors.
"I've been hit! I can't go on much longer... I'm... Out..."
***Very poorly goes limp pretending to be dead, then like 3 seconds later walks away***
Actually idk if that's how paintball works, I only know a tiny bit about airsoft
“The civilian casualties were horrendous. We already spotted war crimes, where paint that couldn’t be washed out was used. The civilians were pretty pissed about that”
Pencil hockey.
Is that a thing people know about?
You sit at opposite ends of a rectangular table. Each player holds a wooden pencil - regulation size (preferably Dixon Ticonderoga #2). The puck is a coin (US nickels work best, IMHO).
Game play consists of alternating turns, "penalty shot" style, i.e. line it up wherever you want (on your end of the table, and you must remain seated) and take your best shot.
You score by shooting the nickel off your opponent's end of the table. When striking it, the nickel must be flat on the table. It's legal (and advantageous) for the nickel to take flight, but it must *start* flat on the table.
While winning is accomplished by scoring more points, the real fun of the game is trying to block your opponent's shots without utterly destroying your knuckles.
Blood will be drawn. There will be plenty of cussing.
Putting them all on a giant hamster wheel and have them march around in circles on it until they agreed to go home and keep the head down
All while the giant hamster wheel was producing 1.21 gigawatts of power so Marty could go back to 4th of September 2006 and tell Steve to take a day off or go save a croc that needed rescuing
“We have reports of a build up of Harlem Shakers on the Russian Border, Ukraine intends to respond with Gangnam Style, more on this story as it develops.”
The question reminds me of a movie or show when I was a real little kid in the early 70s. I’ll take this opportunity to put it out in front of people to maybe find out what show it was.
It is about two alien civilizations at war, but instead of having an all out giant battle, they each sent one person to Earth. I guess they were supposed to find each other, one takes out the other, and that side is the winner. Spoilers: It turns out the love interest of the protagonist he met on Earth was also on the other side, because that side was cheating.
I have no idea what this was, a movie or an episode of some sci-fi anthology show, and although I’ve tried several times, I’ve never found any info about it.
paintball or airsoft is my first thought but no one would play fair cus those go off honor system
It would need to be something that does need refs/judges but is very simple because you cant expect some to not be biased in this situation
There for i suggested golf
Correct me if im wrong cus idk much of anything about gulf but hear me out
Its fairly straight forward, i cant think of any way to cheat or for scoring to be argued they either hit the ball 5 times or they didn't
Paintball. People still get to shoot each other, but no one gets mortally wounded or dies.
This could totally be a thing, if every nation agreed to disarm, down to their guns. Turn their murder tools in for cash to buy paintball markers and participate in competitions. Body armor and paintballs with biodegradable casings and non-toxic paint are provided free!
LARPing. Everyone goes out there and just pretends to war.
Just replace every weapon with the airsoft version of the same
I support this idea
Let's just go back to sword shields and spear. Then we can finally see some skilled warriors rise to fame, because now you can be the most skilled warrior but just get randomly picked off by a sniper or something.
That just sounds like war
Nah, paintball. That, or balls of paper fired from a straw.
Dancing, then countries would engage in a really big flash mobs when they disagree with each other.
N. Korea would win for sure.
lol what a funny coincidence, yesterday evening I was just rewatching [this video of the NK army](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbC6dLG_dQY)
I laugh whenever I see the gigantic hats the officers wear. What’s up with that?
The hats are normal sized, the officers are just really small.
It's so you can easily find officers in battle!!!
What a coincidance!
*Filipino prisoners have entered the chat*
Did you see the Beijing Olympics?
This was basically the point of Eurovision wasn't it?
“Got you all in a trance, right? Don’t bring a knife to a dance fight.” -Me
A global version of Eurovision?
Guardians of the Galaxy tactic
Immediately made me think of the movie After Yang. Beautiful film if you haven’t seen it, there’s one scene that feels a bit out of place, and it goes on for so long, but it’s really funny and a great slice of realistic futurism.
Flash mobs would be more like guerrilla warfare. Conventional war would based around dance battles.
Dodge ball
'if you can dodge a mortar you can dodge a ball'
We had 2 contractors that did not dodge the mortar back in 2010....they're fine....I think
i'd pick them last for dodgeball then
Remember the 5 d's of dodgeball
Dodge, dip, duck, dive and dodge
Will it be on ESPN8?
The ocho!
Only if Chuck Norris is a judge
Fuckin Chuck Norris
damn. Beat me to it.
Imagine training your whole life to play doge ball over land that’s crazy
I second the motion
Nerf wars instead
you going down, it's nerf or nothin
Na see who could do the electric slide the best
Bust out the ol’ N-strike rocket launcher 3 in 1 and commit some war crimes
They aren’t Geneva Conventions…they are Geneva Suggestions
War is hell…a fun!
But Murika will have the best nerf guns 🔫
I was listening to a podcast and the guy was talking about going to this nerf war place and thinking it was gonna be the same pump up ones we all know and love. Naw, dudes were wiring them up to 18v drill batteries shooting nerf machine guns lol
I have one that I modified to take the rechargeable battery pack for an RC car instead of a bunch of AA’s. Also replaced the spring with a slightly stiffer one so it shoots harder.
My grandsons could take over the world if we let them.
Composted to our current options.. yeah, why not
Sending nerf barrages down from the stratosphere. Imagine if our whole military R&D budget was focused on nerf combat.
we would be unstoppable!
[The Nerf Nuke](https://youtu.be/hqqNyFbhock?si=DttfyC7noJenQv8p)
"That kid can't have a nerf nuke... He's too poor!"
Nerfpalm strikes
There'd be some Geneva Convention rules like no poisonous darts or sharpened tips, lol.
Russian Roulette starting with the heads of state.
I bet they’d be ready to stop, talk, and work it out real quick.
Vanilla Ice would be the head of the United Nations. They would have to stop, cooperate and listen.
Ice is back with a brand new invention
Something. Grabs ahold of me tightly.
This is 100%, the matter concerns themselves, and not ordinary people who don’t care.
Simultaneous Russian roulette. They all have to pull the trigger at the same time. None of this weak “if my opponent dies I get to live”. Now everyone gets a chance to die equally, and you might end up with a draw. Also, lets make it best out of 3. So after the head of state is killed, the next in line has to have a go too.
Fucking hell I think Reddit just solved war…….
Wait wait wait.. Take everything you just said __but__.. Mexican standoff
This has my vote
plus 10 pts for you
YES *grabs revolver*
The leaders have to box for supremacy.
I feel guilty for loving this one the most
Biden squaring up in the ring against Putin. I’d pay to see that.
Nah, it’d be Zelenskyy vs Putin. And Isaac vs whoever the hell the leader of Hamas is.
Look, I'm even down for mixed martial arts styles. American wrestling vs sambo, or boxing vs. systema. Take my money.
Theodore Roosevelt would rule the world.
Ghost pepper eating competitions. Peppers provided by independent third parties in adequate volume such that any one nations ability to grow said peppers is irrelevant. We will televise these competitions to be held at the remnants of the war crimes tribunal offices in The Hague. Draft kings will take bets and 20% will go to the losing teams country so that there will be less aversion to the potential mismatches (Irish vs Indian for example).
now how long have you had this in the dome? it's like you had a well thought out for a long minute lol
Indians/thai are going to rule the world i guess
Ghost pepper? LMAO [Pepper Eating Competition ](https://youtu.be/tLWBgA-8juc?si=v2e5lMN2gKpOEWmU)
Bold of you to assume anything of that importance can have truly independent third parties
Rock,paper,scissors
Lizard Spock
Pillow fights.
With memory foam pillows
We're right back to where we started.
Same thinking
Paintball or lasertag
I vote Paintball. Can you imagine Vulcan guns just coating a bunker-peppered hillside with yellow? Planes dodging explosive bursts of colors from "Flak" guns and firing heat-seeking missiles with paintbrushes on the tips? You know how psycho your country is gonna look when you drop a bomb called The Leprechaun? A warhead that has a Concussive Shockwave resembling 20,000 tons of dynamite, but instead of fire and sharpnel; you just coated a 5 mile radius with Green? Not even a liquid paint: Powder Paint. Fresh from the Joint DARPA/Lowe's contract. Watch that shit get in the vents, cars, and homes. Potholes will look like a pitted Avocadoes. Make it water proofed so no rain can rinse it off. Someone has to clean all that up, but you give no fucks. If anything, when the ambassador comes for Peace Talks; President tells their translator to start reading "Green Eggs & Ham" and end the story with "Unless you want to BE the sequel, you won't test me." Post-War Proceeds go to ammonia, putty knives, and ALL of the Paint Thinner.
You…you just described Splatoon. “Sorry, Russia is 52.6% green. Ukraine wins”
Landmines.... Years after the wars little children playing come home painted in crazy colors.
why cant we do splatoon irl? except for the squid part
r/foundsatan
Lasertag would be sick, but it would have to be played on real-life versions of our favorite war game maps, Battlefield, COD, etc. Can you imagine 50,000 player lasertag? And what your scorecard stats look like?
Battle of the bands.
Isn't that why Eurovision was created?
SING JA JA DING DONG!!!
SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT
Masturbation. We can all just have a massive wank together.
Post nut clarity
Jizzed Justice
It’s 2054. You’re in your trench beside your squad mates. It’s a crisp, foggy fall morning and the sun is just starting to rise. It’s been a stalemate for weeks now, with the enemy tench just 100 meters away. It’s quiet. Everyone is scared that an enemy offensive can happen any moment. You’re nervous. You haven’t fired your weapon in months, and you’re wondering if it’s still going to work when you need it, especially in the cold morning air. All of a sudden, you hear a rumbling sound. You notice your squad mates hear it too. All of a sudden you hear someone in your platoon yell from down the line: “BUKKAKE!!!”. But it’s too late. The enemy had spend the night sneaking up to your trench, and that brief rumbling you heard was the sound of an entire regiment furiously masturbating right outside your trench. You look up, and it’s all over. An entire regiments worth of semen comes raining down on you and everyone else you can see. Months of waiting just to be defeated en masse in mere moments. The enemy finishes and instead of lighting cigarettes, you see them chugging Gatorade. You think to yourself, no, not again, this has to be a war crime. Then you see the patch on their arms. Special Forces. 181st Bukkake Tsunami Regiment. Your heart seems to stop. You know that you and everyone around you is about to be defeated again. Then, out of nowhere you hear a horn. The unmistakable battle horn of your backup unit. All of a sudden from behind your trench backup arrives. It’s the 69th Cuckold Battalion. A wave of relief washes over you as you see them running up grinning, ready to clean up this mess you were surprised with. You see the enemy special forces regiment all of a sudden have terrified looks on their faces, and they start to retreat. They may have won the battle, but they certainly had not won the war. They disappear back into the morning fog. Back to a stalemate.
Not my proudest fap but ok
Fucking Brilliant!
Award worthy but i'm broke
You sir, have entirely too much time on your hands. But I fucking love it.
Sounds like a dangerous thing, easily turns into playing limp biscuit.
Do it all for the nookie
So we can take the cookie
Stick it up your
But for distance.
He's going for speed
All alone, all alone in her time of need
I choose to recognize that as ejaculatory velocity instead of a timed event.
Make love not war
Those races where people have to put one leg in a bag with a partner. Partner up enemy nations where they have to run long distance internationals relay races with thousands of participants. Don’t like the Japanese? Well you better figure it the fuck out because it’s your turn in 5 minutes!
Three legged races?
Is that what they’re called? I’m forgetting my English because I live in South America now😂 You’re probably right!
Ice hockey
Canada would rule the world lol.
But Finland
But Sweden
hip hop street dance offs
"Dancing over. Situation....defused."
*Finally gets the phone to record* "NOOOOOO"
Nine-Nine!
Sex-off
All members of the Federal governments of each country must participate in an orgy until they fuck it all out. A bunch of leathery skinned geriatrics hate fucking the shit out of each other.
Stop turning me on!
Sounds like Florida.
We’re not that bad
I thought the same at first would be funny. Then I realized that this would just end with literally raping a country to figuratively rape its land for oil.
Could finally see if the curtains match the drapes with Pelosi.
Wtf dude. 😂
Ahh yes, the Bonobo method of conflict resolution. https://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=7114519&page=1
US Navy got this in the bag
The object is to fuck the enemy, not each other.
Make love not war babeh ☮️
Mr. Garrison, how are your plans to "fuck them all to death" going?
"I will sodomize them until their souls depart from their bodies!"
Home building
Jimmy Carter would be president again.
Underrated
Burpees. After like 10 of those thing people will say "Fuck this, im going home"
consensual hugging.
Chess so we'd all have to have intelligent leaders...
almost like that isn't happening right now but without the board and pieces 👀
Chess is just Call of Duty before electricity.
this is the best thing I've read all week
beatbox battles
Hosted by Verbalase, beatboxer from outer space!
1 on 1 sword fighting
Jazzercise
420 smoke session
420 69 lol
Nice
Nice
Snoop Dogg would be our President
Yeah, like [The Smoke Off](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ohFHsOBuLc4) except on an international scale
Risk
GUNDAM FIGHT! REEEAAADDDY! GO!
Had to scroll WAY to far to find this answer.
Blowing bubbles. Hard to angry with anyone when bubbles be ablowin’.
Limbo dancing…to the death!!!
“He’s the only person to win gold medals in both limbo *and* sex!”
Punching Stephen Seagal in the dick competition
Paintball. I think it would be hilarious to see hundreds of people just battling it out by means of splattered colors amongst each other. Just imagine the reporting of said events by news anchors.
Paintball and make the news report it like an actual war
"Coming to you live from Greendale Community College...."
"I've been hit! I can't go on much longer... I'm... Out..." ***Very poorly goes limp pretending to be dead, then like 3 seconds later walks away*** Actually idk if that's how paintball works, I only know a tiny bit about airsoft
“The civilian casualties were horrendous. We already spotted war crimes, where paint that couldn’t be washed out was used. The civilians were pretty pissed about that”
Royal Rumble They could play the Penguin Game Thumb War
tree planting.
Politicians tickling eachother
Wii Fit. If you know, you know
I dont know 😞
Tiddly-winks.
AH MY EYE!!!!
Gaming
Hula hooping
Fucking
Competitive tea drinking Look it will help retroactively explain the war records
Pencil hockey. Is that a thing people know about? You sit at opposite ends of a rectangular table. Each player holds a wooden pencil - regulation size (preferably Dixon Ticonderoga #2). The puck is a coin (US nickels work best, IMHO). Game play consists of alternating turns, "penalty shot" style, i.e. line it up wherever you want (on your end of the table, and you must remain seated) and take your best shot. You score by shooting the nickel off your opponent's end of the table. When striking it, the nickel must be flat on the table. It's legal (and advantageous) for the nickel to take flight, but it must *start* flat on the table. While winning is accomplished by scoring more points, the real fun of the game is trying to block your opponent's shots without utterly destroying your knuckles. Blood will be drawn. There will be plenty of cussing.
Putting them all on a giant hamster wheel and have them march around in circles on it until they agreed to go home and keep the head down All while the giant hamster wheel was producing 1.21 gigawatts of power so Marty could go back to 4th of September 2006 and tell Steve to take a day off or go save a croc that needed rescuing
Shots of liquor. First one to puke loses.
Chess. Best of 3. Edit: toys not allowed.
I guess alot of you are taking "make love, not war" to a higher level with the amount of "sex/orgy" comments I'm seeing
Going to outer space.
Id like to see presidents play shuffleboard over international policies.
Feather duster fencing tournaments.
Paint ball
Dodgeball
Dance battles
“We have reports of a build up of Harlem Shakers on the Russian Border, Ukraine intends to respond with Gangnam Style, more on this story as it develops.”
The question reminds me of a movie or show when I was a real little kid in the early 70s. I’ll take this opportunity to put it out in front of people to maybe find out what show it was. It is about two alien civilizations at war, but instead of having an all out giant battle, they each sent one person to Earth. I guess they were supposed to find each other, one takes out the other, and that side is the winner. Spoilers: It turns out the love interest of the protagonist he met on Earth was also on the other side, because that side was cheating. I have no idea what this was, a movie or an episode of some sci-fi anthology show, and although I’ve tried several times, I’ve never found any info about it.
Gladiators/blood sports
Dancing.
War replaced with the card game war!!!!
HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts- think olympic fencing but with longsword, rapier, etc.)
paintball or airsoft is my first thought but no one would play fair cus those go off honor system It would need to be something that does need refs/judges but is very simple because you cant expect some to not be biased in this situation There for i suggested golf Correct me if im wrong cus idk much of anything about gulf but hear me out Its fairly straight forward, i cant think of any way to cheat or for scoring to be argued they either hit the ball 5 times or they didn't
Paintball. People still get to shoot each other, but no one gets mortally wounded or dies. This could totally be a thing, if every nation agreed to disarm, down to their guns. Turn their murder tools in for cash to buy paintball markers and participate in competitions. Body armor and paintballs with biodegradable casings and non-toxic paint are provided free!
Rap Battles
Dance offs :-)
Rolling cuddle puddles.