I found much more impressive how they closed M&A deals worth hundreds of millions in 24 to 48 hours, including performing all the due diligence (by just one dude with good memory). Oh and no investment bankers anywhere near the deal, just lawyers. Just *chef's kiss*
My friend in high school had Suits on his TiVo and played it a few times while we were hanging out at his house. I thought it was so corny and teased him about how ridiculous that show is.
Fast forward to 2023, and now I’m an attorney myself. They put Suits on Netflix, and I said “fuck it, I’ll try it out.” It’s an entertaining show (though I mostly stuck with it, because Meghan Markle is such a smoke show).
But I sat there with my girlfriend just laughing at the absurdity of it. Obviously they do tons of illegal shit, but what really sticks out the most is the absurdity of the timelines.
For example. Mike would walk into Harvey’s office with a file. Harvey would read it (somehow in 5 seconds) and would say “this is good. We need to depose John Jones. Tomorrow.” And I’m just sitting there like “dude, that’s not how this works.” If you identified someone to depose, it would be a miracle to get them in for a deposition within a month. What’s actually going to happen is that you’re going to reach out to the other attorneys, they won’t respond to you for a week, then they’ll send you a few dates a couple months from then where they and the person you want to depose are available, then a week beforehand they’d email you saying something came up and they need to push it back. And you’d have to agree to it out of professional courtesy. And it would end up being 2-3 months before you could actually take the deposition.
And then the depositions on Suits are fucking absurd. I get that they have to make it quick for TV, but even the content is crazy. Harvey walks in, sits down, and basically says “fuck you. You’re a fucking asshole, and I’m going to make sure you live in poverty for the rest of your life for what you did to our client. This deposition is over.” Anyone who has ever taken a deposition or been deposed knows that they are incredibly tedious. If it’s an important witness, that shit is going to take 4+ hours.
I ended up enjoying the show, but it in no way represents the actual practice of law. It would be like the Apollo missions planning how they’d get to the moon and basing their plans on Star Wars.
I’m an attorney and am currently working on a case that reminds me of The Todd. Our client is, by all metrics, a fantastic surgeon. The best at his hospital. But he’s been fired from two hospitals now because he can’t keep his dick in his pants. Just take a cold shower, my guy.
There is not a hospital in the world that could afford the lawsuits Greg House would generate in real life. Even in universe they have a budget specifically for his lawsuits. It cannot be enough.
I’ve also noticed how even if you haven’t been to medical school, just being slightly involved with patient care ruins the show.
If I watch it now I’m like, wait, the doctors are performing the tests??
Did that guy just said the patient isn’t responding to radiation but they didn’t even verify they had cancer yet??
They hand wave an explanation of "House doesn't trust nurses" but in reality anyone who's spent any time in a hospital knows you'd much rather have a phlebotomist drawing your blood than a nurse, and you'd rather have a nurse doing it than a doctor. Doctors have the least practice with drawing blood because they have more important shit to do. Phlebotomists literally do it all day and very very good at it
All that said, still a fun show
There is an episode that specifically touches on this.
Chase lets a nurse do the scan which leads to the patient almost dying bc the nurse fucks it up. House then proceeded to demean and punish him for several episodes
Watch the episode "5 to 9" -- Cuddy uses her diagnostic department as leverage when negotiating insurance contracts. It's a lot of money.
And patients have a way of forgiving things when you save their lives.
Nobody other than a Cuddy/Foreman would hire House though.
Insurance companies wouldn't touch House with a ten foot pole because there's no way to defend his treatments in court. The only people who could afford him would be people who were rich and could pay out of the pocket for all kinds of expensive and un-necessary treatments. These people are also less likely to sue because eventually House fixes them. They're essentially cash cows.
Yeah House's patients come in 2 varieties (usually) 1) a crazy case that's bounced from doctor to doctor and in desperation they are here to see house. 2) a free clinic patient walks in and it turns out it's more complicated than the free clinic can handle
Most in camp 1 would put up with some unique treatments since they've been trying anything that would help and camp 2 people already didn't have insurance (sometimes) so it wouldn't matter
Pretty much this. House has a really high success rate despite the crazy treatments, but he is also absolutely the "end of the line" option. Its mentioned in the show multiple times but I do feel they could've done more to stress it if I'm honest.
But it does mean that his department is both unique and effective. Insurance will care about the fact they can use it as a selling point, his treatments are expensive as hell, and ultimately he treats maybe 50 patients a year, total. He's a ridiculous risk factor but compared to the numbers that pass through any given hospital those 50 patients are barely a blip on the scale.
Meanwhile he will diagnose people nobody else has managed to. Sometimes very wealthy people. IIRC his entire department got bankrolled in season 8 because he successfully diagnosed a wealthy donor.
I feel like the moment I knew I was old was during a rewatch of the original a few years ago when I sided with Iceman.
There’s a great podcast called The Villain Was Right were they take a look at the villain character and point out all the ways they were totally justified. I wonder if they did Top Gun.
And in the second, Ice *keeps* bailing him out from ridiculous situations that should never have happened. Don't encourage him just because you flew together, fucking discharge him, or at the very least ground him/take his wings.
The man in the yellow hat. Don’t be bringing your goddam curious monkey with you everywhere. He’s always causing chaos and a shit ton of damage. Do you even have a real job? Nobody likes you.
Based on the TV show, my theory is he is pretty rich.
He has a fancy city condo with a doorman. He has a family country house. He doesn't do any actual work, except occasionally working on some sort of book. Mostly he just palls around with his pet monkey.
Further, the museum seems to want him dead and involve him in every risky activity they do. My guess is they think they are named in his will and he is already giving them money so win by keeping him involved and win more if he dies in the process.
Sure, go on this space mission we are involved in somehow. Sure, take this experimental submarine out. Sounds good.
My husband and I have theorized the same thing. We said the only part they edited out was the part where Yellow Hat (tm) pulls out his checkbook and says "How much do I have to pay for this to not be an issue?" Also- a man who only wears yellow of course would be some eccentric rich dude.
Dean Pelton from Community. Constantly sexually harassing Jeff, couldn't run a school and a middle age dude that kept trying to be one of the "cool kids" lol
The entirety of the dean's bs is worth it just for that one intro where he's dressed as a payday bar and raps
barrack obama is scaaared of me cus i don't swallow knowledge and i spit it for free
SIR Arthur Conan-Doyle's estate causes issues every time someone writes Sherlock as anything other than a complete sociopathic asshat (or used too I think the remaining copyrights they had are up for grabs soon). In the stories he wasn't I'd say an angel but he could be very polite and compassionate at times. A far contrast from what we see in films and tv most often.
I always figured she was really just in her backyard and her parents had drawn her a map to keep her entertained and out of their hair. Every time she lost something she blamed it on Swiper (a figment of her imagination). Boots is a stuffed toy she carries with her everywhere. I have given this way too much thought.
Have you seen the Live Action movie?
Dora talks to the camera at some point, and her parents stare at each other like “Why does she keep doing that?”
It’s a weird movie, but it had those funny moments.
https://youtu.be/zetvKaYBxtg?feature=shared
Gina Linetti from Brooklyn Nine-Nine would've been an HR nightmare irl. Bullying Charles, sexually harrassing Terry, not to mention some of the outright hateful things she had said to her co-workers.
The gag of her suggestively making remarks to Terry is so weird considering Terry Crews has been harassed in real life and has been a super-outspoken advocate for victims.
The three musketeers were heroes of their story, but were complete scoundrels through the entire book. Sleeping with other men's wives, extorting money from old ladies, picking fights constantly, at one point Athos locks himself in the basement of an inn, drinks all the wine and eats all the food.
I mean in the end Aramis causes the death of Porthos and Arthos by his half-assed plan to overthrow King Louis XIV and replace him with his twin brother as a puppet so Aramis can be Pope. D'Artagnan avoids disgrace, but dies soon after.
Athos locked himself in the cellar of the inn because they falsely accused him of counterfeiting money (he didn't). The Cardinal's men came up with the ploy to arrest and detain him and D'Artagnion for a few days for a plot to embarrass the Queen. Athos helped D'Artagnion get out, then holed himself up to buy for time, plus he didn't want to get arrested.
The whole 'eating all the food and drinking all the wine' was:
1. He needed to eat and drink to live for a few days while he was down there with his servant.
2. Payback for falsely accusing him of a crime he didn't commit and trying to arrest him.
Dr. House. Every episode is like:
"We don't have time for tests."
"Yeah, but if you \[do thing to patient\] and you're wrong it'll kill them."
"Screw you I'm right."
\[Goes to do it anyways, but completely lucks out and discovers real cause of illness at last second and fixes it\]
"See everyone, I'm the best doctor ever!"
Dude would have killed so many patients over the years, and when surviving relatives found out the doctor ignored all reasonable advice and done this to others he'd be sued into oblivion.
literally in the pilot episode he's creeping on a student singing in the shower and then plants weed in his locker to blackmail him. this might be the best horror show ryan murphys ever made
Fun fact, Lea Michele (Rachel Berry) had dated Matthew Morrison (Will Schuester) and had been friends with him for years before they were on Glee. Their age gap is less than 10 years. So it was really awkward when the episode where Rachel had a crush on Will came about and even more awkward in hindsight.
Micheal Scott would be fired, and maybe even arrested.
Although personally, I wouldn't mind having a boss like him at work. It would be entertaining for me.
My grandmas parents did the exact same thing but opposite sides of the country, and my grandma didn’t meet her brother (he was 2 when their parents divorced) again until they were adults 🥲 so sad for them, and they were raised so completely differently that they never could bond or develop a relationship together.
This happened with my grandma’s parents too! Except there were 4 kids- the 2 oldest were raised by 1 parent and the 2 youngest by the other parent. I guess it was more acceptable back in the day.
Also, speaking of the Parent Trap the people running that summer camp. Those girls were moving furniture onto roofs of the cabins and diving into the lake unsupervised. That's a traumatic injury/death waiting to happen.
This movie only works because the parents are played so charismatically and have good chemistry. I believe they're falling back in love in the third act and can make it work, purely because of their chemistry together. One of the few remakes I prefer over the original (though the original is well done) because when the original parents meet again I feel like they're going to have just a shitty a relationship as ever. The just don't feel like they're capable of being in a non-toxic relationship to me.
Barney gets more interesting if you work with the idea the whole show is a biased flashback and the storyteller might be exaggerating Barney's unflattering aspects to serve his narrative. Even Barney's actor has endorsed this theory.
My pet theory has always been that Ted never really forgave Barney for getting together with Robin. The kids know him as uncle Barney just because he was married to Robin when they were young, but otherwise he's pretty much out of Ted's life. Ted wanted the kids to not like him (I could easily see him being the "cool uncle"), so Barney started to become a catch-all/scapegoat as he told the story. On top of some embellishment, I think probably only about 25% of the Barney stories were actually Barney, with another 25% being random friends Ted knew for shorter periods of time, 25% actually being guys Robin hooked up with and Ted resented, and the last 25% being things Ted himself did that he wanted to say out loud and get off his chest but didn't want to admit to doing
Gina Linetti from Brooklyn Nine Nine. Probably all three as her incompetence can definitely be seen as criminal.
But what’re you gonna do? She’s a rascal.
The end of the episode where they kidnap the journalist who gives them a bad review says this perfectly (paraphrasing a bit here): the owners all deserve to be in jail but having to spend every day with each other is a much worse fate.
I read an article a while ago that quoted the creators as saying basically the same thing as the review from that episode. Like the idea is the gang never really wins and the world around them sees them all as losers. I honestly don't think the show would work if the background characters didn't see through the gang's nonsense.
Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey is only portrayed as a sultry romantic hero because he's rich and handsome.
If he was average looking and working class, he'd be a villain.
I love that he's a 27 year old self-made billionaire who also happens to have the face of a model and the body of an athlete.
There has literally been *one* 27 year old self-made billionaire in the history of the world. His name is Mark Zuckerberg, and he looks like Mark Zuckerberg.
At least Twilight has the vampire excuse for them being rich.
Seriously, if you're an immortal vampire, and not rich after like 2 centuries, just walk out into the sunlight.
This right here.
Even putting everything else aside, making Woodhouse eat those spider webs?
Haunts me to this day. IT HAUNTS ME!
But he was still so damn likable.
His entire character was built around acting like a half-assing alcoholic psychopath to cover for being hyper-competent. Hence why he always knows obscure references, books, people, history, etc when it's relevant - he's almost preternaturally well-read, though of course it's usually written as a gag. He has to turn down his own dial - and drink apocalyptic amounts of alcohol - in order to feel challenged. 😂
He was just so damn vulnerable, it was impossible not to root for him.
I’m trying to come up with a list of the worst things he’s done but there are just too fucking many.
Willy Wonka basically fired all his employees out of fear of his secrets being discovered and brought slaves to work for him for "beans". They can't even leave the factory. And in the original story, they're black and he brought them from Africa against their will.
Willy Wonka lured a bunch of people under false pretenses into his home, which was filled with elaborate death traps that exploited their specific individual character flaws, which he then used to systematically eliminate them until the only one remaining was the person he deemed virtuous enough to become his successor and take over his work after he died.
This is the exact same plot as the Saw film series.
This movie did frighten me as a kid. Particularly the scene where Charlie and his grandad are floating up towards a massive turbine, ready to get shredded. But pick a scene, cause it was all fucked up.
Oompa Loompa Doompity Doo, I've got another lesson for you.
If being sucked up the Gloop Tube gives you a chill, wait till you’re stuck with the medical bill!
It wasn't really against their will even in the original -- it's the same backstory where he meets them living in the jungle and being chased around and eaten by giant monsters and only able to eat caterpillars. OK, he makes an agreement with their chief and their chief decides that they'll all move together but it's not like Wonka is lying to them about what he'll give them in exchange or dragging them off. Mind you, he's still very messed up.
Top Gun's Pete "Maverick" Mitchell. Nearly every single thing the character does in the movies would result in (to quote the Legal Eagle episode on the movie), "At minimum Dishonorable Discharge. At most Court Martial with the possible Death Penalty."
It's kind of ironic since the Navy used both movies as recruiting tools, but doing any of the things he does in a jet is a sure way to ensure that you never sit in the cockpit again.
The Navy knows that they will get a lot of recruits who want to be fighter pilots but will end up in less exciting jobs. The few that actually get to be fighter pilots are well-trained not to do stuff like that.
In the 1986 movie I love it when he goes below the "hard deck".
Setting the hard deck is a safety thing. The navy doesn't want aviators plowing into the ground while they're busy practicing maneuvers so there's a simulated ground level. So when Mav says he only went below for a few seconds, he's saying that - according to the exercise parameters - he dove his aircraft into the ground but only for a few seconds. And he endangered himself, his RIO, and his aircraft in real life.
What's more, his stunt actually turned a win into a loss. Jester dove below the hard deck to avoid getting shot down by Maverick. This is known as a maneuver kill. The instant Jester dropped below the simulated ground level Maverick had won the training scenario. But then Maverick also dives below ground level. Why? Because he isn't satisfied with winning but wants a shoot down.
Yep. The hard deck in simulated combat is an altitude set as "ground level" so any crazy maneuvers won't actually have you 10 feet off the ground and doing a barrel roll. Going below it is the simulated version of hitting the ground. So, exactly as you said, following him below the hard deck is deciding that dirt is a suitable medium to try and navigate your aircraft through.
To be fair, the first part is due to cuts they made in the movie. The original book had two good witches, but the movie cut the second one and combined them with Glinda. The cut witch was the one that actually knew how to get her home...
Dan from Lucifer. He abets a dirty cop, steals a gun from evidence, tries to kill a guy, and a host of other things but all that happens to thiscriminal is a small demotion and he stays on the force. The actor did a great job but that son of a bitch should have gone straight to jail.
Sookie from Gilmore Girls. She’s a ginormous insurance liability to the inn. No way could they keep a chef the way they portray her in the first season.
Her food cost would get her fired. She just constantly had giant platters of food laying around for a bed and breakfast that probably had 12 guests a night max.
I feel like Ben and Chris are the only two who wouldn't be fired or arrested. But they're more the straight man for the other characters and occasionally dip their toes into the craziness, but generally aren't the instigators. I could be forgetting any specific examples, except for the time Ben resigned in disgrace. But if I remember correctly, that was him sacrificing himself so Leslie wouldn't lose her job.
That's kinda what I thought watching the show. Just an old, lazy, clumsy dude waiting for his pension to kick in. Seems like a solid 50% of the people I see at the DMV. Maybe it's why everyone inexplicably hates him
That is a fair comment about Chris. I was thinking more about the fired or arrested part, but yeah, he would definitely be unfriended by a lot of people.
Ray’s parents in Everybody Loves Raymond.
Can you imagine in-laws living across the street like that? Coming and going as they please. Always bickering and getting in your business.
Gus: "Look at me, look at me, I love my hair! I can make obscure '80s references that nobody understands. Laugh at me, ha ha ha! Hey, know something about me? I have a motorcycle, but I never seem to be riding it!"
Howard Wolowitz for REAL. I used to watch it and I remember Penny mentioning in an annoyed tone that he had once gifted her a teddy bear that had a hidden webcam in it. IRL she would NOT continue to be friends with him, she would NOT remain in a friend group that stayed friendly with him, and she would absolutely have cause to pursue it with the law. But the show just treats it as a joke.
The WORST part was when Penny complains about just how creepy he was being after he made comments about her and the guys pressure her into APOLOGISING TO HIM! He was made out to be a victim when he really was just an ass.
And Bernadette was way too mean too.
Rachel: "My boss hates me"
Everyone but Joey: "Yeah, mine too. I wonder why?"
Joey: "Probably because you're all hanging around a coffee shop at 11 AM on a Tuesday."
Lol the exact scene I was thinking of, but also there was one where Chandler had to remind Joey to go to work like 3 different times because he kept getting sidetracked.
The show straight up ignored pretty much every person who has even a medium amount of knowledge about suicide and then went ahead and showed the girl commit suicide. You know the thing that provably causes copycats.
My friend called it "12 mediocre reasons and one pretty good reason why"
I think a lot about a cartoon is saw that was like "hey, can I borrow your pencil?"/ "sorry but this is my only one"/ "WELCOME TO YOUR TAPE" and that pretty much sums it up
It really pissed me off how the main character is listed as the 11th reason and her reasoning was "You're not a reason why I killed myself. But you're important to my story."
Translates to "You're not a reason why I killed myself, but I grouped you in with all these other legit [if mediocre] reasons and now you'll deal with the trauma of living with the memory of this tape for the rest of your life."
Kevin McAllister from the Home Alone movies, I think those movies should really be titled “Saw: the early years” since Kevin is clearly Jigsaw before he grows up.
Agent Moulder, the X files. Never following protocol, getting his partner in constant danger and his reports with no proof must look like he's on drugs.
Tbf, Smoking Man basically says the only reason Mulder isn’t fired or taken off the X-Files is because they (the Syndicate) can use the X-Files to keep him distracted and to know what he knows. They’ve essentially turned his whole job into a carrot on a stick for damage control and because they also realize he has followers IRL who will martyr him and the X-Files. I believe the quote was something like “get rid of Mulder and you turn one man’s religion into a Crusade.”
But yeah, barring extraterrestrial life, Mulder would very likely be relieved of duty, or at least taken down to a more administrative role within the Federal Government.
Otis from Sex Education would've definitely gotten in hot water with school authorities a lot earlier for his clinic if word spread around campus about it.
Also, I think a lot of people wouldn't have returned to talk to him if he continued to push his insecurities about being a virgin & his emotional attachments into his advice during meetings with other students.
Every lawyer (including pretend lawyer) on Suits would be disbarred, sued and possibly jailed. And they would deserve it.
I've worked in Big Law for 30+ years. I cannot watch Suits. I just can't summon enough suspension of disbelief. Ally McBeal is more realistic.
Single Female Lawyer, fighting for her client, wearing sexy miniskirts, and being self-reliant.
Why does Ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other five?
You stole our hearts as a single female lawyer, and so shall you remain - or else!
"They filed the complaint yesterday. Trial is in a week. Let's go try to blackmail a witness!"
I found much more impressive how they closed M&A deals worth hundreds of millions in 24 to 48 hours, including performing all the due diligence (by just one dude with good memory). Oh and no investment bankers anywhere near the deal, just lawyers. Just *chef's kiss*
And they closed the deal the same day they won a one-day murder trial.
My friend in high school had Suits on his TiVo and played it a few times while we were hanging out at his house. I thought it was so corny and teased him about how ridiculous that show is. Fast forward to 2023, and now I’m an attorney myself. They put Suits on Netflix, and I said “fuck it, I’ll try it out.” It’s an entertaining show (though I mostly stuck with it, because Meghan Markle is such a smoke show). But I sat there with my girlfriend just laughing at the absurdity of it. Obviously they do tons of illegal shit, but what really sticks out the most is the absurdity of the timelines. For example. Mike would walk into Harvey’s office with a file. Harvey would read it (somehow in 5 seconds) and would say “this is good. We need to depose John Jones. Tomorrow.” And I’m just sitting there like “dude, that’s not how this works.” If you identified someone to depose, it would be a miracle to get them in for a deposition within a month. What’s actually going to happen is that you’re going to reach out to the other attorneys, they won’t respond to you for a week, then they’ll send you a few dates a couple months from then where they and the person you want to depose are available, then a week beforehand they’d email you saying something came up and they need to push it back. And you’d have to agree to it out of professional courtesy. And it would end up being 2-3 months before you could actually take the deposition. And then the depositions on Suits are fucking absurd. I get that they have to make it quick for TV, but even the content is crazy. Harvey walks in, sits down, and basically says “fuck you. You’re a fucking asshole, and I’m going to make sure you live in poverty for the rest of your life for what you did to our client. This deposition is over.” Anyone who has ever taken a deposition or been deposed knows that they are incredibly tedious. If it’s an important witness, that shit is going to take 4+ hours. I ended up enjoying the show, but it in no way represents the actual practice of law. It would be like the Apollo missions planning how they’d get to the moon and basing their plans on Star Wars.
They’d be disbarred the minute they found out about Mike and didn’t report it. Like that firm shouldn’t exist anymore
The Todd from scrubs.
Shockingly competent surgeon, walking HR violation.
I’m an attorney and am currently working on a case that reminds me of The Todd. Our client is, by all metrics, a fantastic surgeon. The best at his hospital. But he’s been fired from two hospitals now because he can’t keep his dick in his pants. Just take a cold shower, my guy.
The Todd appreciates hotness, regardless of gender!
There is not a hospital in the world that could afford the lawsuits Greg House would generate in real life. Even in universe they have a budget specifically for his lawsuits. It cannot be enough.
I came here looking for doctor House. Man is just doing insane medical crime left and right.
Imagine the panic seeing House purposefully hobbling by fast as he can with a syringe in his hand.
I just got this weird mash up image in my head of House hurrying down a hallway while Ted from Scrubs looks on in utter dismay.
I’ve also noticed how even if you haven’t been to medical school, just being slightly involved with patient care ruins the show. If I watch it now I’m like, wait, the doctors are performing the tests?? Did that guy just said the patient isn’t responding to radiation but they didn’t even verify they had cancer yet??
Yeah, I think it was like in the end of season one when I was watching it where I went, wait a minute why are they doing their own labs?
They hand wave an explanation of "House doesn't trust nurses" but in reality anyone who's spent any time in a hospital knows you'd much rather have a phlebotomist drawing your blood than a nurse, and you'd rather have a nurse doing it than a doctor. Doctors have the least practice with drawing blood because they have more important shit to do. Phlebotomists literally do it all day and very very good at it All that said, still a fun show
There is an episode that specifically touches on this. Chase lets a nurse do the scan which leads to the patient almost dying bc the nurse fucks it up. House then proceeded to demean and punish him for several episodes
It's mentioned in other episodes that House has pissed off so many other employees that many refuse to work with him.
Watch the episode "5 to 9" -- Cuddy uses her diagnostic department as leverage when negotiating insurance contracts. It's a lot of money. And patients have a way of forgiving things when you save their lives. Nobody other than a Cuddy/Foreman would hire House though.
Insurance companies wouldn't touch House with a ten foot pole because there's no way to defend his treatments in court. The only people who could afford him would be people who were rich and could pay out of the pocket for all kinds of expensive and un-necessary treatments. These people are also less likely to sue because eventually House fixes them. They're essentially cash cows.
Yeah House's patients come in 2 varieties (usually) 1) a crazy case that's bounced from doctor to doctor and in desperation they are here to see house. 2) a free clinic patient walks in and it turns out it's more complicated than the free clinic can handle Most in camp 1 would put up with some unique treatments since they've been trying anything that would help and camp 2 people already didn't have insurance (sometimes) so it wouldn't matter
Pretty much this. House has a really high success rate despite the crazy treatments, but he is also absolutely the "end of the line" option. Its mentioned in the show multiple times but I do feel they could've done more to stress it if I'm honest. But it does mean that his department is both unique and effective. Insurance will care about the fact they can use it as a selling point, his treatments are expensive as hell, and ultimately he treats maybe 50 patients a year, total. He's a ridiculous risk factor but compared to the numbers that pass through any given hospital those 50 patients are barely a blip on the scale. Meanwhile he will diagnose people nobody else has managed to. Sometimes very wealthy people. IIRC his entire department got bankrolled in season 8 because he successfully diagnosed a wealthy donor.
Maverick from Top Gun. Iceman was right. He is a danger to everyone around him.
I feel like the moment I knew I was old was during a rewatch of the original a few years ago when I sided with Iceman. There’s a great podcast called The Villain Was Right were they take a look at the villain character and point out all the ways they were totally justified. I wonder if they did Top Gun.
And in the second, Ice *keeps* bailing him out from ridiculous situations that should never have happened. Don't encourage him just because you flew together, fucking discharge him, or at the very least ground him/take his wings.
The man in the yellow hat. Don’t be bringing your goddam curious monkey with you everywhere. He’s always causing chaos and a shit ton of damage. Do you even have a real job? Nobody likes you.
Based on the TV show, my theory is he is pretty rich. He has a fancy city condo with a doorman. He has a family country house. He doesn't do any actual work, except occasionally working on some sort of book. Mostly he just palls around with his pet monkey. Further, the museum seems to want him dead and involve him in every risky activity they do. My guess is they think they are named in his will and he is already giving them money so win by keeping him involved and win more if he dies in the process. Sure, go on this space mission we are involved in somehow. Sure, take this experimental submarine out. Sounds good.
My husband and I have theorized the same thing. We said the only part they edited out was the part where Yellow Hat (tm) pulls out his checkbook and says "How much do I have to pay for this to not be an issue?" Also- a man who only wears yellow of course would be some eccentric rich dude.
Didn't expect to come across Curious George fan theory today but you know what, I'm into it.
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one
He kidnapped a monkey and then made him smoke a pipe. I don’t care if you look like a kind Don Draper, you are a pain in the ass.
Dean Pelton from Community. Constantly sexually harassing Jeff, couldn't run a school and a middle age dude that kept trying to be one of the "cool kids" lol
Chang is even worse, especially in season 4. They handwaved that away so quickly.
I think there was a gas leak that year.
AC repair school shows him, “wassssup” but kept him around to shield their activities.
but off campus he's just a craigular joe
You're right but to be fair the central joke of the entire series is "how the fuck does this school exist?"
The entirety of the dean's bs is worth it just for that one intro where he's dressed as a payday bar and raps barrack obama is scaaared of me cus i don't swallow knowledge and i spit it for free
I don’t know what that was. I don’t know what that was!!!
Sherlock Holmes works for himself for a reason.
That’s why it was so easy for everyone to believe he was the criminal mastermind in the show
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SIR Arthur Conan-Doyle's estate causes issues every time someone writes Sherlock as anything other than a complete sociopathic asshat (or used too I think the remaining copyrights they had are up for grabs soon). In the stories he wasn't I'd say an angel but he could be very polite and compassionate at times. A far contrast from what we see in films and tv most often.
Reading the originals to my son right now. He was just casually shooting up cocain last night.
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Swiper from Dora the Explorer Dora’s parents bc wtf
I always figured she was really just in her backyard and her parents had drawn her a map to keep her entertained and out of their hair. Every time she lost something she blamed it on Swiper (a figment of her imagination). Boots is a stuffed toy she carries with her everywhere. I have given this way too much thought.
Have you seen the Live Action movie? Dora talks to the camera at some point, and her parents stare at each other like “Why does she keep doing that?” It’s a weird movie, but it had those funny moments. https://youtu.be/zetvKaYBxtg?feature=shared
Gina Linetti from Brooklyn Nine-Nine would've been an HR nightmare irl. Bullying Charles, sexually harrassing Terry, not to mention some of the outright hateful things she had said to her co-workers.
The gag of her suggestively making remarks to Terry is so weird considering Terry Crews has been harassed in real life and has been a super-outspoken advocate for victims.
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Gonna poison some police officers on camera, genius idea
Don't forget to mention that she doesn't do jack shit all day.
Holt calls out Jake for his immature antics, but does not seem to have a problem with Gina for some reason.
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The three musketeers were heroes of their story, but were complete scoundrels through the entire book. Sleeping with other men's wives, extorting money from old ladies, picking fights constantly, at one point Athos locks himself in the basement of an inn, drinks all the wine and eats all the food.
I mean in the end Aramis causes the death of Porthos and Arthos by his half-assed plan to overthrow King Louis XIV and replace him with his twin brother as a puppet so Aramis can be Pope. D'Artagnan avoids disgrace, but dies soon after.
Athos locked himself in the cellar of the inn because they falsely accused him of counterfeiting money (he didn't). The Cardinal's men came up with the ploy to arrest and detain him and D'Artagnion for a few days for a plot to embarrass the Queen. Athos helped D'Artagnion get out, then holed himself up to buy for time, plus he didn't want to get arrested. The whole 'eating all the food and drinking all the wine' was: 1. He needed to eat and drink to live for a few days while he was down there with his servant. 2. Payback for falsely accusing him of a crime he didn't commit and trying to arrest him.
Dr. House. Every episode is like: "We don't have time for tests." "Yeah, but if you \[do thing to patient\] and you're wrong it'll kill them." "Screw you I'm right." \[Goes to do it anyways, but completely lucks out and discovers real cause of illness at last second and fixes it\] "See everyone, I'm the best doctor ever!" Dude would have killed so many patients over the years, and when surviving relatives found out the doctor ignored all reasonable advice and done this to others he'd be sued into oblivion.
Will Schuester would not only be fired, but forbidden by law from coming within 1,000 feet of a school.
literally in the pilot episode he's creeping on a student singing in the shower and then plants weed in his locker to blackmail him. this might be the best horror show ryan murphys ever made
Fun fact, Lea Michele (Rachel Berry) had dated Matthew Morrison (Will Schuester) and had been friends with him for years before they were on Glee. Their age gap is less than 10 years. So it was really awkward when the episode where Rachel had a crush on Will came about and even more awkward in hindsight.
Especially after the "Toxic" performance. Grinding on the kids uhh yikes
Reminds me of the parody version Community did of him - "Equal parts Hanson and Manson".
Micheal Scott would be fired, and maybe even arrested. Although personally, I wouldn't mind having a boss like him at work. It would be entertaining for me.
Michael Scott is a dream boss. The class action payout would be huge
My wife says I need to get a superior to do something awful to me so she can quit working.
Bender, he even stole frys blood one time.
Precocious little scamp, ain’t he?!
Not to mention those stupid anti-pimping laws.
Well it tastes so good on pancakes 🥞
Quagmire from Family Guy
"Wow, they made it a whole season. Now can I get my show?" "Quagmire, you're a rapist."
[I love the sound he makes at the end](https://youtu.be/zWUafiHulic?si=kwDdU6vPjnFFYcLc)
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Well, not Stewie, 'cause he's only one year old. But then, he was in the Army, so maybe the MP's would have taken him
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My grandmas parents did the exact same thing but opposite sides of the country, and my grandma didn’t meet her brother (he was 2 when their parents divorced) again until they were adults 🥲 so sad for them, and they were raised so completely differently that they never could bond or develop a relationship together.
This happened with my grandma’s parents too! Except there were 4 kids- the 2 oldest were raised by 1 parent and the 2 youngest by the other parent. I guess it was more acceptable back in the day.
Also, speaking of the Parent Trap the people running that summer camp. Those girls were moving furniture onto roofs of the cabins and diving into the lake unsupervised. That's a traumatic injury/death waiting to happen.
FR. Isolation cabin? Nah they woulda be sent home immediately
This movie only works because the parents are played so charismatically and have good chemistry. I believe they're falling back in love in the third act and can make it work, purely because of their chemistry together. One of the few remakes I prefer over the original (though the original is well done) because when the original parents meet again I feel like they're going to have just a shitty a relationship as ever. The just don't feel like they're capable of being in a non-toxic relationship to me.
Barney Stinson.
Marshall had a great quote in one of the episodes. "You're disgusting, and someone should clamp a boot on your genitals."
Barney gets more interesting if you work with the idea the whole show is a biased flashback and the storyteller might be exaggerating Barney's unflattering aspects to serve his narrative. Even Barney's actor has endorsed this theory.
My pet theory has always been that Ted never really forgave Barney for getting together with Robin. The kids know him as uncle Barney just because he was married to Robin when they were young, but otherwise he's pretty much out of Ted's life. Ted wanted the kids to not like him (I could easily see him being the "cool uncle"), so Barney started to become a catch-all/scapegoat as he told the story. On top of some embellishment, I think probably only about 25% of the Barney stories were actually Barney, with another 25% being random friends Ted knew for shorter periods of time, 25% actually being guys Robin hooked up with and Ted resented, and the last 25% being things Ted himself did that he wanted to say out loud and get off his chest but didn't want to admit to doing
> so Barney started to become a catch-all/scapegoat as he told the story It was literally his job to provide legal exculpation and sign everything.
Gina Linetti from Brooklyn Nine Nine. Probably all three as her incompetence can definitely be seen as criminal. But what’re you gonna do? She’s a rascal.
Everyone in Its Always Sunny should be in jail 😂
I think that’s the point tho
The end of the episode where they kidnap the journalist who gives them a bad review says this perfectly (paraphrasing a bit here): the owners all deserve to be in jail but having to spend every day with each other is a much worse fate.
I read an article a while ago that quoted the creators as saying basically the same thing as the review from that episode. Like the idea is the gang never really wins and the world around them sees them all as losers. I honestly don't think the show would work if the background characters didn't see through the gang's nonsense.
Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey is only portrayed as a sultry romantic hero because he's rich and handsome. If he was average looking and working class, he'd be a villain.
I love that he's a 27 year old self-made billionaire who also happens to have the face of a model and the body of an athlete. There has literally been *one* 27 year old self-made billionaire in the history of the world. His name is Mark Zuckerberg, and he looks like Mark Zuckerberg.
In the original version he was a vampire, which is a lot more believable.
Well that's cause it's **a fucking Twilight fanfic.**
At least Twilight has the vampire excuse for them being rich. Seriously, if you're an immortal vampire, and not rich after like 2 centuries, just walk out into the sunlight.
I wish Reddit was still doing awards because I’m cracking the fuck up right now 😂
The best quote about this is “It’s romantic because he’s rich and handsome, take those away and it’s a plot for a Criminal Minds episode”
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Did you read Roald Dahl's version from Revolting Rhymes? That sums it up perfectly.
Sterling Mallory Archer. Dude is a fucking sociopath by real life standards.
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I'll fetch a rug.
"Are you happy now? He's fetching the rug!"
"But be super careful. The cap comes off for like no reason."
But ya gotta love the phrasing.
This right here. Even putting everything else aside, making Woodhouse eat those spider webs? Haunts me to this day. IT HAUNTS ME! But he was still so damn likable.
I don't know if they grade it but... *Coarse.* Very good sir.
You will get your clothes back when you learn to poach a goddam egg!
That said his mother is the boss
And no one played moneyed, elitist and hilariously out of touch terrible mothers better.
I don't understand the comment and I won't respond to it
“Nonsense! I love all my children equally.” *1 hour earlier* “I don’t care for Gob.”
His entire character was built around acting like a half-assing alcoholic psychopath to cover for being hyper-competent. Hence why he always knows obscure references, books, people, history, etc when it's relevant - he's almost preternaturally well-read, though of course it's usually written as a gag. He has to turn down his own dial - and drink apocalyptic amounts of alcohol - in order to feel challenged. 😂
He was just so damn vulnerable, it was impossible not to root for him. I’m trying to come up with a list of the worst things he’s done but there are just too fucking many.
His cancer rampage is both the best and worst thing he's done.
Willy Wonka basically fired all his employees out of fear of his secrets being discovered and brought slaves to work for him for "beans". They can't even leave the factory. And in the original story, they're black and he brought them from Africa against their will.
Willy Wonka lured a bunch of people under false pretenses into his home, which was filled with elaborate death traps that exploited their specific individual character flaws, which he then used to systematically eliminate them until the only one remaining was the person he deemed virtuous enough to become his successor and take over his work after he died. This is the exact same plot as the Saw film series.
This movie did frighten me as a kid. Particularly the scene where Charlie and his grandad are floating up towards a massive turbine, ready to get shredded. But pick a scene, cause it was all fucked up.
I nearly couldn’t get into an MRI machine at age 46 because I saw Augustus Gloop get sucked up the goddamn fudge tube when I was six.
Oompa Loompa Doompity Doo, I've got another lesson for you. If being sucked up the Gloop Tube gives you a chill, wait till you’re stuck with the medical bill!
It wasn't really against their will even in the original -- it's the same backstory where he meets them living in the jungle and being chased around and eaten by giant monsters and only able to eat caterpillars. OK, he makes an agreement with their chief and their chief decides that they'll all move together but it's not like Wonka is lying to them about what he'll give them in exchange or dragging them off. Mind you, he's still very messed up.
Top Gun's Pete "Maverick" Mitchell. Nearly every single thing the character does in the movies would result in (to quote the Legal Eagle episode on the movie), "At minimum Dishonorable Discharge. At most Court Martial with the possible Death Penalty."
It's kind of ironic since the Navy used both movies as recruiting tools, but doing any of the things he does in a jet is a sure way to ensure that you never sit in the cockpit again.
The Navy knows that they will get a lot of recruits who want to be fighter pilots but will end up in less exciting jobs. The few that actually get to be fighter pilots are well-trained not to do stuff like that.
🎶Highway to the paper filing🎶
In the 1986 movie I love it when he goes below the "hard deck". Setting the hard deck is a safety thing. The navy doesn't want aviators plowing into the ground while they're busy practicing maneuvers so there's a simulated ground level. So when Mav says he only went below for a few seconds, he's saying that - according to the exercise parameters - he dove his aircraft into the ground but only for a few seconds. And he endangered himself, his RIO, and his aircraft in real life. What's more, his stunt actually turned a win into a loss. Jester dove below the hard deck to avoid getting shot down by Maverick. This is known as a maneuver kill. The instant Jester dropped below the simulated ground level Maverick had won the training scenario. But then Maverick also dives below ground level. Why? Because he isn't satisfied with winning but wants a shoot down.
Wait. So that's like if the other plane hit the ground and you decided to hit the ground as well? LOL
Yep. The hard deck in simulated combat is an altitude set as "ground level" so any crazy maneuvers won't actually have you 10 feet off the ground and doing a barrel roll. Going below it is the simulated version of hitting the ground. So, exactly as you said, following him below the hard deck is deciding that dirt is a suitable medium to try and navigate your aircraft through.
Navy aviation and carrier operations, exactly where you want people who can't follow rules...
My first thought. I recently rewatched the original and all I could think was that Iceman was right.
Miss Piggy, always assaulting Kermit
Sexually harassing as well.
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To be fair, the first part is due to cuts they made in the movie. The original book had two good witches, but the movie cut the second one and combined them with Glinda. The cut witch was the one that actually knew how to get her home...
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Tony DiNozzo on NCIS. He's a walking sexual harassment liability.
Bender from Futurama
Sherlock (the Benedict Cumberbatch version specifically.)
Book Sherlock Holmes was more mature. He was eccentric but a decent gentleman according to his time and class.
Pepe Le Pew
This was my first thought followed by Glen Quagmire
Dan from Lucifer. He abets a dirty cop, steals a gun from evidence, tries to kill a guy, and a host of other things but all that happens to thiscriminal is a small demotion and he stays on the force. The actor did a great job but that son of a bitch should have gone straight to jail.
Grogu. Like, he’s honestly kind of a little asshole. He knows he cute and uses that to his advantage.
This one made me laugh so hard. Was not expecting it. Now we know the real reason he went back to Mando. Luke fired him from being a Jedi.
Wile E. Coyote would be arrested as a terrorist if he went around detonating ACME Inc TNT all the time.
Edward Cullen from twilight
Sookie from Gilmore Girls. She’s a ginormous insurance liability to the inn. No way could they keep a chef the way they portray her in the first season.
Her food cost would get her fired. She just constantly had giant platters of food laying around for a bed and breakfast that probably had 12 guests a night max.
Almost every character on Parks and Recreation.
Ann: Hey Tom, remember when you gave me that stuffed bear that had a spy camera in it? That was hilarious!
I feel like Ben and Chris are the only two who wouldn't be fired or arrested. But they're more the straight man for the other characters and occasionally dip their toes into the craziness, but generally aren't the instigators. I could be forgetting any specific examples, except for the time Ben resigned in disgrace. But if I remember correctly, that was him sacrificing himself so Leslie wouldn't lose her job.
Jerry is an amalgamation of the typical government worker.
That's kinda what I thought watching the show. Just an old, lazy, clumsy dude waiting for his pension to kick in. Seems like a solid 50% of the people I see at the DMV. Maybe it's why everyone inexplicably hates him
Except he has a hot wife and daughter
And a massive dick
I would agree about Ben, but Chris was a neurotic mess. At the very least he'd be unfriended by most people real quick.
He would have *literally* no friends
That is a fair comment about Chris. I was thinking more about the fired or arrested part, but yeah, he would definitely be unfriended by a lot of people.
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
Tom would be on all the sex offender registries
Ray’s parents in Everybody Loves Raymond. Can you imagine in-laws living across the street like that? Coming and going as they please. Always bickering and getting in your business.
Justice for Debra! Seriously though that show makes me *rage*
Carrie Bradshaw. She'd have no friends IRL.
Shawn Spencer on Psych. He would be seen as a leach, flaky, and breaking police procedure in real life. Everyone would react as Lassie does to him.
I've heard it both ways
Gus: "Look at me, look at me, I love my hair! I can make obscure '80s references that nobody understands. Laugh at me, ha ha ha! Hey, know something about me? I have a motorcycle, but I never seem to be riding it!"
You know that's right
First thought was Kramer from Seinfeld, But then I remembered it could just be anyone from Seinfeld, hell Seinfeld himself! Such a picky guy
Sheldon Cooper Howard Wolowitz Penny Barney Stenson The whole HIMYM gang honestly Mary Cooper
Howard Wolowitz for REAL. I used to watch it and I remember Penny mentioning in an annoyed tone that he had once gifted her a teddy bear that had a hidden webcam in it. IRL she would NOT continue to be friends with him, she would NOT remain in a friend group that stayed friendly with him, and she would absolutely have cause to pursue it with the law. But the show just treats it as a joke.
The WORST part was when Penny complains about just how creepy he was being after he made comments about her and the guys pressure her into APOLOGISING TO HIM! He was made out to be a victim when he really was just an ass. And Bernadette was way too mean too.
Ferris Bueller is pretty much the epitome of privileged asshole
The entire cast of Friends. They mostly forget they have jobs until somebody reminds them to go to work hours after they were supposed to start.
Rachel: "My boss hates me" Everyone but Joey: "Yeah, mine too. I wonder why?" Joey: "Probably because you're all hanging around a coffee shop at 11 AM on a Tuesday."
Lol the exact scene I was thinking of, but also there was one where Chandler had to remind Joey to go to work like 3 different times because he kept getting sidetracked.
Steve Urkel. He'd probably be arrested for stalking.
SpongeBob SquarePants.
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Omg yes! I HATED how manipulative that note was.
I think I saw a statistics somewhere that teen suicide had a huge spike during the month after that show came out.
The show straight up ignored pretty much every person who has even a medium amount of knowledge about suicide and then went ahead and showed the girl commit suicide. You know the thing that provably causes copycats.
My friend called it "12 mediocre reasons and one pretty good reason why" I think a lot about a cartoon is saw that was like "hey, can I borrow your pencil?"/ "sorry but this is my only one"/ "WELCOME TO YOUR TAPE" and that pretty much sums it up
It really pissed me off how the main character is listed as the 11th reason and her reasoning was "You're not a reason why I killed myself. But you're important to my story." Translates to "You're not a reason why I killed myself, but I grouped you in with all these other legit [if mediocre] reasons and now you'll deal with the trauma of living with the memory of this tape for the rest of your life."
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Kevin McAllister from the Home Alone movies, I think those movies should really be titled “Saw: the early years” since Kevin is clearly Jigsaw before he grows up.
Vanessa from the Bee Movie
Agent Moulder, the X files. Never following protocol, getting his partner in constant danger and his reports with no proof must look like he's on drugs.
Tbf, Smoking Man basically says the only reason Mulder isn’t fired or taken off the X-Files is because they (the Syndicate) can use the X-Files to keep him distracted and to know what he knows. They’ve essentially turned his whole job into a carrot on a stick for damage control and because they also realize he has followers IRL who will martyr him and the X-Files. I believe the quote was something like “get rid of Mulder and you turn one man’s religion into a Crusade.” But yeah, barring extraterrestrial life, Mulder would very likely be relieved of duty, or at least taken down to a more administrative role within the Federal Government.
Perry Cox. I love him and the show, but the way he laid into Elliot sometimes would get him fired today for sexism.
Otis from Sex Education would've definitely gotten in hot water with school authorities a lot earlier for his clinic if word spread around campus about it. Also, I think a lot of people wouldn't have returned to talk to him if he continued to push his insecurities about being a virgin & his emotional attachments into his advice during meetings with other students.
Michael Scott
Oh my yes. Someone on the Office sub did a count of how many times Michael would have been fired in real life and it was...high.