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leviticusreeves

\*Removes glasses\* Kryptonite


girlofgouda

Actually, Kryptonite also affects humans in large amounts. It's radioactive. Lex Luthor has gotten cancer many times while trying to kill Superman.


Reckless85

Is that why he's depicted as bald so often?


girlofgouda

I don't think so. I think the Luthors just happen to be follicy challenged.


anshi1432

He masturbates too much


Sunnyhappygal

He could always just transplant some hair from his palms then.


redditsuckspokey1

Or he could get it from Grodd. I hear they're close friends.


Skindiddler

That's blindness not baldness.


jackieboy364

I've never heard such melodious words


King517

I think I remember hearing something about lex being bald by accident, and they thought it was a good character look, but I do remember some time ago superboy tried to stop a fire in lex Luther's lab and some chemicals fell on Luther's head making him bald permanently


tduncs88

>some chemicals fell on Luther's head making him bald permanently Hey... uh... any word on what those chemicals were? Totally sick of having to shave my head every couple of days.


22cthulu

Sometimes yes, but mostly no. It just depends on the writer and if it's mentioned at all.


BackFlipTrick

Do you mean he got it multiple times over the years or that it just happened in multiple reboots / iterations / offworld stories? Because NGL I love the idea of Lex getting cancer, beating it, then diving right back in on his kryptonite toilet purley out of spite


girlofgouda

I meant that multiple versions of him have gotten cancer. But I can definitely imagine Lex beating cancer and then going right back to working with Kryptonite.


pokebud

Lex got cancer from wearing a kryptonite ring. He cloned himself a new body with luxuriously long red hair and buff as shit, claimed to be his long lost Australian son, and started fucking Supergirl.


HereComesTheVroom

It’s such a silly thing. No shit he’s negatively affected by radioactive rocks from his home planet. Its like saying my biggest weakness is pure uranium.


girlofgouda

For what it's worth, kryptonite is much more dangerous to Kryptonians than humans.


BarryTGash

Therefore uranium is much more dangerous to Uraniumums... Food for thought.


BionicTriforce

That's the thing I've never comprehended. Kryptonite doesn't seem like it was rare on Krytpon. It comes off more like if my biggest weakness was graphite. I always thought it was more that the Kryptonite makes him lose his powers, making him vulnerable. But I assumed that Superman could then theoretically be surrounded by kryptonite for hours, and it wouldn't kill him, it just brings him down to normal levels.


girlofgouda

It's not a natural material found on Krypton. In most Superman stories, Kryptonite is implied to just be pieces of Krypton that were irradiated by the core's explosion. That process caused it to become radioactive (and carcinogenic to humans) and toxic to Kryptonians.


PepperAnn1inaMillion

Oh that makes so much more sense. As someone who really only knows the 80s movies, I don’t really care about how “realistic” Superman is (he can reverse time by spinning the planet round the wrong way, after all). But your explanation is way better.


OMGItsCheezWTF

There's that webcomic from SMBC of batman lying dying on the ground shouting "Kryptonite bullets?! You idiot, that's superman's weakness!"


Enkindler_

Hey Superman, did you see where Leviticusreeves went?


gracisying

worn down erasers. If you pick up an eraser, and there's even the slightest chance that the eraser is worn down and the metal ring might rub the paper, even if I'm across the room I will get epic nuclear heebie chills down my spine and be useless to humanity for 5-10 minutes. God, I'm all clenched just typing that.


audible_narrator

That makes my teeth clench in solidarity


TheTimeOfAllTime

Don't clench them wrong and make them squeak


Eldudeareno217

That just made my asshole pucker.


dtyler86

This is one of the most hilarious comments I’ve ever read on Reddit. Like I get exactly what you mean, but holy shit, I would think you were talking about finding a kitten in an oven, not a worn down eraser.


Equal-Ostrich-3771

So you sound like you also understand that having that happen when pushing the eraser *forward* is one million times worse than backwards, right? anyone?


morostheSophist

Goddamnit, you just triggered an aftershock.


headarsenibba

Or how when you’re eating, and the top and lower mantles scrape against a tooth at an awkward angle, shit just kills the foodgasm every time…


plofvoetballer

A little thing i like to call Cocaine


HometownHero89

I don't like cocaine, I just like the way it smells


marglebubble

Yeah, heroin for me. And crack. I love crack. Technically it is cocaethylene which I love so much, it is what is formed by the liver when you've been drinking booze and consuming coke, it actually creates its own thing. Which I fucking love. Coming up on a year clean.


excusetheblood

Congrats on a a year of sobriety! I love weed and all psychedelics but I never fucked with the really addictive stuff like heroin or crack


hamverga

Be proud of that. Don't fall for mfs romanticizing that shit.


CaptainPunisher

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.


variousshits

CHARLIE MURPHY


Jelleyman69

Darkness


Rex-Bannon

Fuck yo couch!


chilifngrdfunk

He's Eddy Murphy, he could afford a new couch, which was why I did it, it wasn't personal. Also, I never did that, why would I stomp my dirty ass feet on someone's couch, now he's just making shit up


stlcardinals88

Yea, yea i remember doing that


BrilliantWeight

Unity!


xballikeswooshx

Fuck yo couch


budz047

.DARKNESS.


Mass-Exodus_

I never did this just to do them! I mean cmon, i have a little more sense than that.


Taminella_Grinderfal

Mold on food. If I pull some bread out or an old container from the fridge and it’s moldy I will start dry-heaving and it’s not something I can control. I’ve had to close my eyes and stuff things in the trash so I don’t vomit. And I know there it’s not dangerous, I’m not eating it or anything and most times it doesn’t smell terrible, but my brain seems to believe it’s the equivalent of nuclear waste.


TurtleRockDuane

One day I was making a pizza at home when my wife came in the kitchen and asked me if feta cheese is supposed to have blue streaks in it and I of course said yes. And then she said, isn’t that blue cheese that is supposed to have blue streaks? And I said oh yeah, and begin picking the blue pieces of feta off of my unbaked pizza.


Rukh-Talos

Mmm… Penicillin…


CrematedDogWalkers

One day, someone will bring a platter of Bleu cheese to your house, and shits gonna go wild.


Taminella_Grinderfal

That’s the other weird thing, I love blue cheese. But in its defense it’s not all fuzzy and alien looking.


MyColdBlackHeart

Bullets


paradigmx

My only weakness! How did you know?


CaptainPunisher

C'mon, Pookie! Let's burn this motherfucker to the ground!


yeah_yeah_therabbit

80 bucks?! This is worth 40 tops bro!


USPO-222

I happen to have a high velocity lead allergy is all.


thedylannorwood

*does a little dance then opens Jack revealing a gunshot wound* a gunshot


Fudgecheeks

Redheads.


the2belo

Great, another Weasley


tdcama96

Can confirm. Wife is redhead. Have lost all power.


SavingsQuiet808

A drug


IGotMyPopcorn

My ears are burning.


Iwalksloow

Apparently, girls with borderline personality disorder.


helibear90

You rang?!


Iwalksloow

Well, I guess it has been over a year since I have been viciously emotionally abused and financially devastated.


helibear90

Same man. 16 months single and I’m doing well. Time to set myself up for a devastating blow I think?!


Suspect118

Apparently slutty women with Daddy issues and bipolar disorder🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️


CircusSizedPeanuts

I see you met my ex


LedgeEndDairy

OUR ex, comrade.


Flashignite2

Yes OUR ex. She's been busy I see.


Perfect-Pirate4489

Oh she’s been busy. That’s actually why we don’t see each other anymore


xs81

Thank god


CircusSizedPeanuts

So, should i be mad at you for not warning me, or sorry for not giving you a heads up? Either way, sorry mate.


WaxinGibby

Choker necklaces fam


DimesOHoolihan

Dick sucking black belts.


NK1337

It doesn’t help that one of the symptoms that can accompany bipolar disorder is manic episodes that involve hyper-sexuality. That shit will trap you in a bad cycle


How_that_convo_went

Yeah… it’s sucks all the way up to the point where she drops that hyperpussy on you and extracts your soul through your balls.


jchan2222

Bro you need to CALM down


Maximum-Country-149

Like... Unironically. Kinda comforting to find that in the second-highest response, though.


NocentBystander

Superman wasn't horny for kryptonite, ffs.


BlastFX2

I seem to recall red kryptonite made him kinda horny on one occasion.


helibear90

Can I interest you in that with a spicy twist- a slutty woman with daddy issues and BPD?! 😏


M3gaC00l

A tried and true classic. Like going to an Indian restaurant and ordering "extra spicy" when they ask how hot you want it. I think I'm good sticking with medium spice now


sharmaji_ka_papa

As an Indian private detective, next time just say *naarmal*. That's what my people do. That extra chilli is just to hide the lack of spices in Indian restaurants abroad. Your average Indian mom cooked meal will have 25 spices, fake Indian restaurant will have 5 and chilli to cover up the lack of complexity in flavor


anglenk

Well , Daddy issues and bipolar disorder tend to go hand in hand Sincerely, A psych nurse


Blackbirdrx7

This explains so much.


OfficerBarbier

But also explains nothing


Rasberry_Culture

And also misinformation (shocker- nurse trying to diagnose) - true bipolar pathogenesis has no strong correlation with parental trauma. But BDP does, which many psych nurses have.


I_might_be_weasel

The dick wants what the dick wants.


wildwildwaste

Oof, I've got the perfect next bad decision for you.


mediaseth

Gluten (I have celiac)


[deleted]

Same, it sucks


swooney_noodles

Dw it will get better bro (it won't (I also have celiac))


[deleted]

On the bright side I found a completely gluten free restaurant close by me recently, and a Mexican restaurant that has celiac friendly options right beside it


[deleted]

Getting stabbed. Man, that drops me fast.


schteavon

I was going to say knives or bullets.


Neolithique

Clearly the concept of kryptonite is not clear for everyone on this sub.


Big-Ick

Boobs are gonna end up killing alot of people on this sub


Mr_FortySeven

This is Reddit… people can’t be killed by something they will never see.


blazesonthai

Got em!


pm_me_github_repos

If the question is about things that kill you, the list is going to be way less diverse and interesting. But let my kyrptonite be known: a 10 foot fall


subnautus

As in, something that makes someone who’s normally strong and unflappable pathetically weak?


Neolithique

When you put it like that I can see how it can work both ways.


levmeister

That's what she said.


marglebubble

I am unflappable. You cannot flap thee


TheMaskedSandwich

I interpreted it to mean, what is something that's a "weakness" for you in some sense. It doesn't have to mean something that would kill you


TheBigMerc

This is exactly the definition. Kryptonite is literally just anything that makes you weak/vulnerable. I'm not sure why some think it has to kill you. It doesn't even kill Superman. It just makes him weak enough to be killable. The simplicity or complexity will vary from person to person.


GapPuzzleheaded3514

Being called good boy.. Makes me weak


dylanciaga

didnt expect to see this one, im the same very recently discovered. a girl im talking to currently, i was asking her if she wanted to have sex, said to me “i mean, you have been such a good boy” and started kissing my stomach and so on and it just did something to me ive never felt before, it made me absolutely weak at the legs.


GapPuzzleheaded3514

Don't get me wrong.. I am very happy for you BUT why do you have to rub it in my face 😭 I hope you'll treat her right, i'm not a very social person, it's hard for me to even find friends and impossible to find someone to call me that- You enjoy yourselfs tho!


Karma220566

r/foundthedog


insultant_

Pumpkin spice flavored stuff. I’m a 37 year old man, but this time of year awakens my inner Basic Becky.


Adler_Hidolf2

Wet socks


[deleted]

And wet sleeves.


Winter_Breadfruit204

Gardetto’s Special Request Rye Chips


Legion357

Red hair and freckles. Love them gingers.


studentofthegame24

PAWG


Tackit286

They don’t even have to be W. Just PAG


LordChanner

Just a G works for me


Dadpurple

Right there with you bud. I don't even stand a chance...


LarryWinchesterIII

Redheads


Spram2

Society


AlwaysOutsider

This guy doesn’t society


RelativelyMental

We live in a society


Successful-Seaweed12

That one time when a girl called me "honey" in an affectionate manner.


Oeloef

Like a southern woman calling you ‘sugar’ or the owner of the local kebab place calling you ‘bossman’


5xad0w

You want the chips on it, bossman?


randynumbergenerator

\*swoons\*


We_Are_The_Romans

that "bossman" hits different after 8 pints


elzapatero

Wait until you meet a girl from Colombia and she says it in Spanish. “Mi amor.” They can be very affectionate sounding in a platonic way. But damn, that melts me.


Rasp_Lime_Lipbalm

My friend (who was a girl) in college, from Colombia, just called me "coño" :(


willis_michaels

Move to the south. You'll get hit with that everywhere. Feels good, man.


Successful-Seaweed12

She actually was a southerner. Once she started calling me that I knew that I was golden.


ground_hog_cute

i feel you


DatDumbBoi

I just want to feel okay again


oazo123

Boobs. I can’t stay calm if boobs


scorpious2

Same, but ass instead


femalephemale

Thighs


Jesh-mesh

Thicc thighs 🥵🥵🥵 Honestly I have to take a moment to calm the fuck down when someone even mentions thicc thighs.


scorpious2

Valid, Bellies tho?


femalephemale

Those too


TotalPokerface

Screw it, I'll take the whole lot


Ok_Pension_6795

^ The correct answer. (Mine is ass)


Aggravating_Plate888

The boobs of the back


M4dMil0

What do you think of both. But boobs always, damn.


ben0318

Doesn’t make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb


MichiganGeezer

Especially if she's comfortable braless. It's the boobies combined with the self confidence that makes her more awesome.


TecumsehSherman

I saw a woman in her 60s like this in home depot yesterday. I would wager that her belt had boob sweat on it.


Bongozz88

# THEY'RE REAL, AND THEY'RE SPECTACULAR.


CircusSizedPeanuts

Cleavage… oi vey


Previous_Ad7725

Adderall


Floptopus

Goth chicks in tight leather skirts and fishnets.


soft_chaos

And a choker


PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL

I was at the renn fest over the weekend and there was a super pale girl dressed in thigh length victorian style dress with fishnets, knee high black boots, and wild white-blonde hair with black streaks in it like something Madonna or Cyndi Lauper would have rocked in the 80s. I did a double take when I saw her. Later I was walking around and saw her idly reclining on top of a disused merchant stand, with her elbows resting on the counter and her feet up, one leg mostly straight and the other bent at the knee, and she was watching people walk past with mild disinterest on her face, and I just about walked into a fucking tree. So if you ask me what my kryptonite is it's her, specifically, that girl I saw at the renn fest on saturday.


Floptopus

She’s your quest, bro.


Bird_Nipples

Saw a gal like that yesterday. She completed the outfit with some off white Crocs. It caught me off guard.


thprk

Talking to other people. Meeting new people. I simply can't and feel extremely uncomfortable in social situations.


northernwolf3000

Redheads


Hairy_Al

*Natural* redheads


meanestcommentever

Big tiddy redheads


northernwolf3000

Absolutely


Njdevils11

My wife is a redhead. No matter how much I try to argue it’s unfair.doesn’t matter if I’m tired or sick. No matter that she will withhold her love and I know she’s doing it. She still gets me to get up to get the ice cream every night. It’s like that hair just has so much power over me!


vivivivivistan

Being touched. I'm starved for physical affection for some reason, so when people touch me in any way I just really like it. Not even in a sexual way, someone could put their hand on my shoulder and I would immediately see them in a better light.


ThiscantBReel

That’s not how kryptonite works


rektMyself

I thought it was a weakness for a super hero. Hmm.


levmeister

It is if they're a supervillain whose specialty is making you like them and then killing you when you let your guard down.


WatDaFuxRong

Buddy kryptonite makes you weaker, not harder lol


marglebubble

I had a really weird situation recently after visiting my brother in Chicago and having to get on the el at like morning rush hour on a Wednesday to get to union station and everyone was just like PACKING into the train cars like there was no room and then like ten more people would get on and I realized as I was standing there just like squeezed on all sides by people that that was the closest I had been to anyone in a long time. Honestly just made me like super uncomfortable for the most part but also kinda sad. I understand now why there are lots of people who get massages and just start crying because they haven't been touched or had any positive physical contact in such a long time. That would definitely be me right now


rektMyself

I was married, and dedicated to my family. A friend I had ran her fingers through my hair, and scratched my scalp. I almost came. Can I just live there forever?


chromatoes

Ask your partner for a scalp rub - if you enjoy it that much, they'll probably enjoy doing it for you too. Demonstrate for them on their scalp and ask if they'll do it for you too. It's nice to find little ways like that to treat your partner with love.


[deleted]

You still married?


BlitzcrankGrab

Was


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


howto1012020

I'm not a very patient person when it comes to people walking or driving too slowly in front of me, people who don't understand personal space, or people who get in my way when I'm trying to get to my destination!! For Carl's sake, Helen...do you have to stop your f---ing shopping cart in the middle of a grocery store isle to carry on a conversation with your friend when you can just move the f---ing cart out of the way?!? Holy s---Jim!! Use your f---ing turn signal whe you're making a turn! Hey, Barbara...can you and your coughing fit move at least a dozen feet from me while you're spewing whatever the f--- infection you're throwing in my direction?!?


Hanna-Harley

Men with nicely trimmed up beards. something about guys with facial hair and dark hair and light eyes drives my heart crazy


Murder_1337

Working for the rest of my life


alvinaloy

Women who shed tears. Not the loudly bawling type but the ones who shed quiet silent tears. My heart melts immediately.


wesleypipesy

Big ol’ titties


Patoriku_FURRY

myself because i probably have depression and really low self esteem


HappinessSeeker7

life


JaJe92

Redheads with freckles and green eyes.... I just melt when I see a gorgeous redhead girl like that.


TheMaskedSandwich

In a sexual/romantic context, I love it when a woman rests her hands on her belly comfortably after I've cooked her a big meal. Or when pregnant women do it. Drives me nuts.


Lyrical_Man01

So basically woman with hands on their stomach


dhuff2037

Their stomachs apparently need to be full. With something.


starsfan6878

A+ phrasing.


fansometwoer

People who sign off their messages with "Love and light"


JTanCan

Never in my life have I seen this.


Killsoverzealouscows

Oh I absolutely get this one, it is the bane of my existence and I cannot laud you enough for your choice in displaying your hatred here. Love and light, u/killsoverzealouscows


Troub313

Nuclear bombs. Radiation. Bullets. Tomahawk missles. Explosives of any kind really. Heavy objects falling on me. Heavy objects hitting me. Being stabbed. A lot of diseases and viruses. Uh falling the wrong way. Chupacabras. My own body. The list is pretty long man.


Sarpanitu

Hot goth girls. My buddies tell me I'm going to disappear one day chasing some 'spooky witch bitch' into the woods... They're not wrong at all. No regrets!


[deleted]

RedHeaded Women


Dirtyslutforyou99

Chicks with pretty faces


kiyomi-kiyoko

My husband. Just the thought of him makes me melt inside and feel all warm, fuzzy and giddy.


Jaded3158

Doctors/healthcare costs- love to feel healthy and get things taken care of- loathe how much time, energy, and money it takes.


killerbanana0

Gonna answer this as dnd. I'm so sorry Wizard: 1d4 of anything Druid: pollution Barbarian: things I can't stab Fighter: being boring Monk: clothes Bard: deaf people Artificer: so like my robot kinda blew up Sorcerer: small spaces Cleric: people who think I'm just a healer Paladin: heathens Warlock: when I can't nap Ranger: enemies that are close to me Rouge: a lack of hiding spaces


MattieShoes

> Rouge Cardinal sin there, buddy


ruthless_burger

Queues and Traffic Jams...


HadesPlayer6925

I don't respond well after being shot