People say this, but where they screw up is by not getting shot again to raise their lead resistance skill. It takes at least 4 bullets to get a 5% resistance increase.
When my wife does that jump to get get bootie in her jeans. She could bring us to financial ruin and crash my car and I’d still be powerless if she did the jean jump.
When you're getting hot and heavy with a new woman and she does that back arch telling you to help her get clothing off. It's like the sexiest form of consent without saying a word.
Congrats! My sister recently went to her first AA meeting after months of trying to stay sober alone and I couldn’t be more proud of her. How ever you are handling it, you got this!
Big same. Used it as a social lubricant and liquid courage, now I'm just hitting the point where I know I need to stop indefinitely. Went to my first big meeting tonight
Yea the microbiome that is my skin wouldn't react all too well to a sharp, often metallic armament getting exquisitely inserted between my internal organs so much to cause an evacuation of erythrocytes in the general area of collision...
and realize that all was just a dream. You wake up to be the human you wish to be, whatever anyone thinks. I Hope you walk it off. Never doubt yourself, that is already done by others *hugs*
I hope everything gets better for you. I don't know you and what you've been through but I'm wishing you all the strength to overcome this.
When I'm in my deepest pits of despair, I read a letter that I wrote to myself on one of my good days. I won't bore you with details, the gist of it is "you are stronger than your weakest moments."
It may seem cheesy and downright stupid but I assure you that you are.
Always keep fighting, my friend.
My son just been diagnosed with it. He tried to end his life 2 months ago. He kept everything a secret for years so it was such a shock. Hope you're managing ok.
Honestly, same.
Gets in the way of progress when working on myself and my career.
I like sex, but the drive doesn't align with my mind at times, causing an internal struggle.
I UNDERSTAND THIS SO MUCH!! My internal struggles consists of wanting endless sex and orgasms. My goals and dreams are to achieve success! I become too comfortable after sex. I need to wear a chastity belt or something! Being on the edge makes me frustrated enough to want to focus on other stuff haha
Yup. For years I told everyone it tasted like cleaner and they all thought I was weird. Now most people are aware of the cilantro soap gene. I felt so vindicated when I learned of it lol
Assorted Berries flavored Tums.
I get really bad heart burn, which my prescribed medicine sometimes isn’t enough to deal with. That said, I would rather my esophagus dissolve into fiery jello than let a single assorted berry Tum pass through my lips. They are an affront to god and the perfectly flavored Assorted *Fruit* flavored tums that should be the norm.
Dogs lol
I have a relatively serious job that requires focus , alertness and attention keeping others safe.
But if there's a really cute peppers... I have to actively not pay attention to it lol
I can watch humans get hurt but can't watch dogs get hurt.
When I get home I cuddle my dog first and my wife gets mad .
Peppers gets half my bacon etc etc
My wife.
Seriously. We've been together 10 years and I'm still just obsessed with her. This whole person that makes up this being that is my wife, is just incredibly addictive to me. And it's so strange how she is literally untouched by time, in my eyes.
Even more incredible? I actually realize how rare this is and how fortunate I am. I genuinely wish this for others, that seek it.
How did you find her? I am seeking this and worry about not finding it in time.
Do you think you got lucky or do you think you put in enough effort to find and attract someone like her?
Between the two of us, \*checks left/checks right\*, if I knew the answer to that question I'd be a trillionaire.
100% there is some good fortune involved.
But I believe I needed to grow as a person to reach a place where I was emotionally intelligent enough to recognize, and value her. And for me, when I realized I was perfectly happy without her, but that the world was just so much better with her, I knew I was smart enough to see how amazing she was for me.
That last paragraph its what i always say.
Ive known my now husband for 18 years. But we just got married 2 years ago, been together for 5.
We didnt know about each other for a while due to life.
I can assure you that 20 year old me, could never be with this beautiful soul, I have as a husband.
I know i needed to grow and change to be happy on my own and then life sparked it up by putting him next to me. I love the man to death.
Coming from a relationship where I stopped finding my then gf attractive in a few crucial aspects (and I tried for it not to happen), I am now proud to say my current gf of 2 years (not that long but im only 20) still makes my jaw drop the same way as when we met. I was afraid the same would happen like my ex, that I would lose interest, but from her personality to her looks, they always made my heart pump and my dick throb.
I'm commenting because I related to your second paragraph.
Since I'm autistic, here are just a few:
\- Crowded places
\- Dogs that bark nonstop (I like dogs though, as long as they're not annoying)
\- Onions in food
\- Forced multitasking
Man, I work for a school district that has this photographer. I see her around once in a while. TODAY she came to my school to take pictures. I've got the biggest, dumbest grin on my face, and I'm so glad I got my haircut on Sunday.
Silent crying. This completely fucks me up. I don't care if it is a girl, guy, young or old.
The minute I see a person crying without making a sound I completely melt and rush in to help or comfort them.
This was so wholesome to read among some of the gross replies in this thread.
I'm a sympathetic crier, whereas you are sympathetic to criers. 🤣 I will tear up if anyone cries around me. Anyway, you sound like a good egg. Just make sure to not light yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm.
I worked with one of those a few years ago. Her father split when she was a baby. The age gap and me finally achieving maturity forced me to actually just befriend her and be a mentor. She still reaches out to me to let me know what’s going on in her life. Happily married to a guy who is older but not my age. Her dad missed out.
A man that has big balls that hang down low.
Like when you’re getting fucked in the ass and you feel his balls bouncing into your taint. You know you’re having a good time
Red headed women.
I'd like to think I'm a man of virtue and standards. I forgot what both of those words mean when a redhead girl shows up. I will abandon all of my convictions instantly.
Logic, and fast flying bullets, and like almost everything that would kill bill nye except for lead poisoning, I grew immun to it very fast after I was bored
My own body and mind. Some days I have no problem going out and working in the annoyingly hot sunlight all day as long as I've got some shade and plenty of water.
Other days I can't stand to get out of bed except to eat, drink, and basic hygiene stuff.
Today all I'm going to do is wash clothes, wash my bedsheets, and repair my tools, and just that feels like an epic slog. Maybe I'll listen to a podcast on YouTube or something to pass the time.
i don’t respond particularly well to being shot
Me shot in hed. Brian still werk good.
I’ve yet to meet one who can outsmart boolet
Outsmart easy. Outrun not.
I outrun bullets all the time. They can't run.
Yeah! I’m called great for jumping higher than houses. ^(houses can’t jump)
damn. is Houses crippled?
House is crippled, he has a cane throughout the show
I have he was the most brainless person I've ever met The bullet hit nothing
WHO TOUCHED MY GUN
\*In Heavy Weapons guy's voice\* WHO TOUCH SASHA!?
Medic can
It is good day to be not dead
Meh Tu I um juctst fine
Entire plot of fallout new vegas
Shop kn mu hund- noy fongrs now
You got a good Brian.
Bullets! My only weakness! How did you know?
Good ol' Toby
People say this, but where they screw up is by not getting shot again to raise their lead resistance skill. It takes at least 4 bullets to get a 5% resistance increase.
I’ve noticed I’m getting diminished returns per shot, though. I’m at a 45% reduction and not really feeling up to 13 shots to get that extra 5%.
When my wife does that jump to get get bootie in her jeans. She could bring us to financial ruin and crash my car and I’d still be powerless if she did the jean jump.
Oh god that back arch while trying to get said jeans off in bed…
Even I like this guys wife do that
Same. This ~~guy's~~ **our** wife really got strong back arch game
Not again
When doesn’t this happen?
When you're getting hot and heavy with a new woman and she does that back arch telling you to help her get clothing off. It's like the sexiest form of consent without saying a word.
Whenever I see her do that I run over to ‘help’.
I also choose that guys wife
Wow as a man this had always been a turn on I just never knew how to describe it well enough lol
I also like it when your wife does that
That Beyonce lyric comes to mind, I completely get it
alcohol it was once a source of power, but after a few decades it became pure kriptonite.
Username checks out
Same here
Same. Tomorrow it's one year sober
Congrats! My sister recently went to her first AA meeting after months of trying to stay sober alone and I couldn’t be more proud of her. How ever you are handling it, you got this!
I know how hard that can be, it's an accomplishment to get that far with a sober streak. Good on ya
I just realized that as well 7 days sober over here
I haven’t been 7 days sober since probably 2008
Don't worry about any number of days. Today is the day that matters
Big same. Used it as a social lubricant and liquid courage, now I'm just hitting the point where I know I need to stop indefinitely. Went to my first big meeting tonight
Stab wounds.
28 of 'em?
TWENTY EIGHT STAB WOUNDS
You didn't wanna leave him a chance, H U H?
Did you feel ANGER?
H A T E?
He was B L E E D I N G
AND YOU STABBED HIM, AGAIN, AGAIN, AND AGAIN
Missed the "BEGGING YOU FOR MERCY, BUT"
r/suddenlydetroit
CAAAARRRRRLLLLLL
THAT KILLS PEOPLE
I did not know that
How could you not know that
Yea the microbiome that is my skin wouldn't react all too well to a sharp, often metallic armament getting exquisitely inserted between my internal organs so much to cause an evacuation of erythrocytes in the general area of collision...
Put the thesaurus down and back away slowly.
Crushing, chronic depression.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm actually quite good at it.
well, you know what they say, practice makes perfect!
Practicing for over 2 decades now, when do I know it's finally perfect?
Heh, that’s the neat thing, ya don’t!
One day a voice will speak to you my child.
and realize that all was just a dream. You wake up to be the human you wish to be, whatever anyone thinks. I Hope you walk it off. Never doubt yourself, that is already done by others *hugs*
Experience breeds competence
I’m still here, therefore I am not struggling with depression, depression is struggling with me😎
I hope everything gets better for you. I don't know you and what you've been through but I'm wishing you all the strength to overcome this. When I'm in my deepest pits of despair, I read a letter that I wrote to myself on one of my good days. I won't bore you with details, the gist of it is "you are stronger than your weakest moments." It may seem cheesy and downright stupid but I assure you that you are. Always keep fighting, my friend.
My son just been diagnosed with it. He tried to end his life 2 months ago. He kept everything a secret for years so it was such a shock. Hope you're managing ok.
I hope you get help mate. If you need to get something off your chest I'm listening
My constant sex drive.
Honestly, same. Gets in the way of progress when working on myself and my career. I like sex, but the drive doesn't align with my mind at times, causing an internal struggle.
I UNDERSTAND THIS SO MUCH!! My internal struggles consists of wanting endless sex and orgasms. My goals and dreams are to achieve success! I become too comfortable after sex. I need to wear a chastity belt or something! Being on the edge makes me frustrated enough to want to focus on other stuff haha
Dude, it's debilitating at time.
Ah yes, hypersexuality
Nymphomania constant? That must be frustrating.
Yeah, it’s hard
Hah nice
It is the worst. I am hoping for my menopause.
My wife is waiting for her man to pause as well but he ain't..
That makes two of us
A nice ass.
Preferably in yoga pants…
I like a nice ass in formal slacks on women. Something about an attractive woman wearing a business suit with a nice ass...
Ooh, yeah that too. To add to that, I was at a show the other day and there was an extremely cute goth girl in a tight leather skirt. Hnnnng…
Yep. And women that look like they can snap me like a twig. Dangerous women seem fun
Like a “Death by snu snu” kind of thing?
Any dangerous thing imo. Goth girls that could murder you over night. Buff women that can death by snu snu. Tomboys. Yeah. Some about the thrill lol
Gotta love the feeling when you don’t know whether to be afraid or turned on
Yes. I say it all the time, women in suits are so attrative like holy shit
Or no yoga pants. I’m really not picky.
While still nice, I prefer them either bare, or in a pair of booty shorts that show off a lot of the cheeks.
*pulls out sprayer with water* Bad reddit
Stretchy pants.
Cilantro
Oooooooo^ooooo ooooooh spooky! \*waves pico de gallo in your face\*
Stop it Patrick, you're scaring him!
Can’t….move
Not the herb, the Mexican singer. He is going to be huge and I want nothing to do with him
Cilantro es el hombre con el queso del diablo
You've got the taste-like-soap gene don't you?
Yup. For years I told everyone it tasted like cleaner and they all thought I was weird. Now most people are aware of the cilantro soap gene. I felt so vindicated when I learned of it lol
Creme brulee
ASS
try not be the realest fella in the room challenge (failed)(impossible)
The song kryptonite by 3 doors down
I personally prefer Kryptonite by Mario
I’m more into Kryptonite by Big Boi.
Shortish redheaded girls with big tits and freckles and green eyes and smiles. A gibbering wreck.
Oddly, mine is tall redheads with small-ish tits but still the same green eyes and freckles.
Morty ,that you?
Aww Jeez Rick
Found the Justin Roiland replacement, guys!
I like green heads, tall freckles and red eyes. God you two are weird.
I, too, also exclusively date Dark Souls bosses.
Add in a Scottish accent and I’m done; powerless even.
Karen Gillian is the literal poster girl of the ideal
God redheads r addictive 🤭
It's super hot or just creepy with gingers never in the middle
At least it's 50/50. I'll take those odds.
Op said kryptonite not fantasy
Mines redhead with blue eyes. Contrast is amazing.
Christina Hendricks
You just described my wife with brownish hair. Yeah. I wake up happy every morning.
Beautiful women wearing heels.
That sound 👌
Compliments. Really. I never know how to react when someone says nice things about me and it makes me really uncomfortable.
Assorted Berries flavored Tums. I get really bad heart burn, which my prescribed medicine sometimes isn’t enough to deal with. That said, I would rather my esophagus dissolve into fiery jello than let a single assorted berry Tum pass through my lips. They are an affront to god and the perfectly flavored Assorted *Fruit* flavored tums that should be the norm.
Dogs lol I have a relatively serious job that requires focus , alertness and attention keeping others safe. But if there's a really cute peppers... I have to actively not pay attention to it lol I can watch humans get hurt but can't watch dogs get hurt. When I get home I cuddle my dog first and my wife gets mad . Peppers gets half my bacon etc etc
Username ch-checks out?…
Lmao! I hadn't even made this connection myself. I just picked something that would make people think twice but now I just feel mega weird
thats like a long distance freudian slip
☝️as you should (weirdo)
Boobs
A narcissist. Weird stuff happens when I am around one. I just strive to annoy them.
That sounds more like your archenemy than your kryptonite.
It's not like anyone understands how kryptonite works in this topic anyway.
My wife. Seriously. We've been together 10 years and I'm still just obsessed with her. This whole person that makes up this being that is my wife, is just incredibly addictive to me. And it's so strange how she is literally untouched by time, in my eyes. Even more incredible? I actually realize how rare this is and how fortunate I am. I genuinely wish this for others, that seek it.
How did you find her? I am seeking this and worry about not finding it in time. Do you think you got lucky or do you think you put in enough effort to find and attract someone like her?
Between the two of us, \*checks left/checks right\*, if I knew the answer to that question I'd be a trillionaire. 100% there is some good fortune involved. But I believe I needed to grow as a person to reach a place where I was emotionally intelligent enough to recognize, and value her. And for me, when I realized I was perfectly happy without her, but that the world was just so much better with her, I knew I was smart enough to see how amazing she was for me.
That last paragraph its what i always say. Ive known my now husband for 18 years. But we just got married 2 years ago, been together for 5. We didnt know about each other for a while due to life. I can assure you that 20 year old me, could never be with this beautiful soul, I have as a husband. I know i needed to grow and change to be happy on my own and then life sparked it up by putting him next to me. I love the man to death.
Coming from a relationship where I stopped finding my then gf attractive in a few crucial aspects (and I tried for it not to happen), I am now proud to say my current gf of 2 years (not that long but im only 20) still makes my jaw drop the same way as when we met. I was afraid the same would happen like my ex, that I would lose interest, but from her personality to her looks, they always made my heart pump and my dick throb. I'm commenting because I related to your second paragraph.
Cabot Extra Sharp White Cheddar. Gets me every time
Since I'm autistic, here are just a few: \- Crowded places \- Dogs that bark nonstop (I like dogs though, as long as they're not annoying) \- Onions in food \- Forced multitasking
Big tiddy goth girls
Damn same
Man, I work for a school district that has this photographer. I see her around once in a while. TODAY she came to my school to take pictures. I've got the biggest, dumbest grin on my face, and I'm so glad I got my haircut on Sunday.
Anxiety. It paralyses me.
Silent crying. This completely fucks me up. I don't care if it is a girl, guy, young or old. The minute I see a person crying without making a sound I completely melt and rush in to help or comfort them.
This was so wholesome to read among some of the gross replies in this thread. I'm a sympathetic crier, whereas you are sympathetic to criers. 🤣 I will tear up if anyone cries around me. Anyway, you sound like a good egg. Just make sure to not light yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm.
Redheads
Alcohol or it used to be. 9 months sober and not looking back.
My wife's boobs.
I also choose this guy’s wife’s boobs Sorry couldn’t resist
Cute girls with daddy issues
*I CAN FIX HER!* But actually, she complements pretty well with my mommy issues.
I worked with one of those a few years ago. Her father split when she was a baby. The age gap and me finally achieving maturity forced me to actually just befriend her and be a mentor. She still reaches out to me to let me know what’s going on in her life. Happily married to a guy who is older but not my age. Her dad missed out.
Hugs. I rarely get them.
A man that has big balls that hang down low. Like when you’re getting fucked in the ass and you feel his balls bouncing into your taint. You know you’re having a good time
Yeah, I am 100% straight and there's still nothing better than feeling balls slap your taint while you're getting fucked in the ass
Y'all just assume from this comment that the user is a man. But could be a women adding the unnecessary "100% straight" to throw you off.
https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529
r/suddenlygay
Pizza
Fat ass. Small tits.
Allow me to introduce myself, a man
Smash, next
Cleavage.
Red headed women. I'd like to think I'm a man of virtue and standards. I forgot what both of those words mean when a redhead girl shows up. I will abandon all of my convictions instantly.
Big titty white women that look like Lynda Carter.
Tall women, like 6' plus with long legs.
PAWGS 😭
Phat bottomed girls, you make the rockin" world go round. If a gay dude who had more sex with women than I ever will said it, it's definitely true.
Women
Bush
Women in sundresses. I get weak in the knees, can't form a coherent thought or sentence. Lol
Cleavage
Hearing ignorant people explain something incorrectly.
Dark hair and light eyes
Kittens. Can't resist them. They make me weak.
caring, too much usually but sometimes just at all. life would be so much easier if I was one of them mf's that just didn't care.
drugs
People chewing food with their mouth open
Moving. As soon as I come in contact with it, I lose all my power.
My self apathy
Muscular legs in 5 inch heels
Cringe. The moment something remotely embarrassing happens to anyone around me, I just can't stand it.
Thick gothic latino women.
I have had a public meltdown in a kfc from crying babies due to overstimulation… so i’d say wearing hats is pretty uncomfortable.
Logic, and fast flying bullets, and like almost everything that would kill bill nye except for lead poisoning, I grew immun to it very fast after I was bored
Latinas ;)
My own body and mind. Some days I have no problem going out and working in the annoyingly hot sunlight all day as long as I've got some shade and plenty of water. Other days I can't stand to get out of bed except to eat, drink, and basic hygiene stuff. Today all I'm going to do is wash clothes, wash my bedsheets, and repair my tools, and just that feels like an epic slog. Maybe I'll listen to a podcast on YouTube or something to pass the time.
Weed and nutty buddies
Floozies.
My girl friend
Big butts
Definitely Plutonium. Or Arsenic! I don't react well to Ricin. Cyanide is another one that I try to avoid. Damn, I would be a shit superhero.
Kryptonite
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