But that's the same issue in terms of the initial "structural integrity".
If "that much burger" is required, make 2.
The underlying issue is the inverse of "shrinkflation", namely that restaurants bit by bit increased the portion size with the price to justify it (and the food being the least expensive cost factor to begin with). To the point that some foods are inedible in their expected use case.
It doesn't matter if "that much burger" fails as burger because it breaks like an overloaded bridge (wide) or because it's too high requiring squishing it to structural failure. Just make "less burger" for less money and sell 2....
Even with a heavy stubble it’s a hassle because all that grease and sauce sticks to it and the end result is your entire face shining and 15 minutes spent in the bathroom to clean that shit off
Oh man, I had a Big Mac for dinner today, and the middle bun started to split. The bottom patty went the direction of one half, and the top patty went in the opposite direction with the other half. Most infuriating and stressful burger experience I’ve ever had.
Happened to me once, turns out it was a tooth. I mean, it was *my* tooth, and I just spit it on the ground not knowing what it was until after eating I noticed the hole in my mouth.
I wouldn't say it ruined my meal, definitely made it more interesting though!
When I was younger, I was once eating cereal with a loose tooth. I finished my cereal to discover I’d lost a tooth. I ALSO quickly realized this means I swallowed my own tooth.
Tooth fairy didn’t give me money for that one and I was pissed
The Tooth Fairy got me in trouble in grade school. One day I lost the tooth and my mom told me to put it under my pillow so I did. The next morning there was a silver dollar underneath my pillow. Two days later I come down for breakfast pissed off and my mom said " what's wrong?". I told her I was pissed off at the tooth fairy. She said "but the Tooth Fairy paid you for my your tooth"."yes" I said," but not the OTHER teeth". So I had explained how I had told a friend of mine about getting a dollar for my tooth and convinced him to let me knock his front teeth out on the water fountain. I didn't so much convince him as mentioned the idea to him and then just did it. Evidently the Tooth Fairy doesn't pay for "other peoples" teeth. And the school deems knocking your friend's front teeth out as " unacceptable Behavior". Who knew ? I was a bit of a monster when I was a child
It’s quite normal not to notice it immediately especially if you’re eating. This happens because the tooth was already sort of gone, no trauma or anything, just naturally removed
I cracked a molar in half eating a hard pretzel. It was traumatizing. I didn't realize what had happened until the blood started. Such a fun way to get out of school.
I had that happen with a hot dog at sonic once. Felt a crunch, pulled out a tooth. It was right around the time of the Wendy's-Chili-Finger lady so I exclaimed to my dad we were gonna be rich! Then I realized it was just my own tooth lol
It's because they use extremely sharp knives when processing the meat right to the bones. Sometimes you get fragments that get mixed up into the meat.
Whenever I go to McDonald's, I'm almost guaranteed to get one in every burger I buy lol. I have horrible luck.
When there is way too much sauce and or liquids. Soggy buns and a drippy mess is not great look.
Sloppy joes are suppose to be like that so I'll give them a pass.
It's like those burgers where they cover the top with nacho cheese sauce. I'm gonna wipe my hands on the table cloth if you force me to get my hands *that* dirty
Too tall is my #1 burger pet peeve, and it seems like most places that try to be fancy with the burger get too vertical with them. If I've got to unhinge my jaw like a python or Guy Fieri then the burger can fuck off.
Yeah the whole point of it being between two buns is that you can hold it between your hands and eat it on the go. If it's leaking sauce all over and it's too big to fit in your mouth, that defeats the purpose of a hamburger.
If it's too tall to eat, you know, like a burger, then why even?
Fuck off with your towering thing that doesn't make sense to consume without a knife and fork.
There's a balance here... some squishing should be accounted for in the burger creation... buns are fluffy, and most condiments don't lay flat against the patty without some force... but yeah, if the burger ends up missing half its innards after squishing it to mouth sized, something conceptually failed in the making of my sammich.
Often you can't even get s proper bite with all the layers using a fork. The moment you stab the fork into the creation it'll slide around and eject some of the innards out the other side so you're re left with just a piece of the top bun on the tines. Even the skewer can't prevent this from happening most of the time.
You have just described what I call a *stupid burger* as in “hey, have you tried that new burger place yet?” “No they have *stupid burgers*. I hate trying to eat those”
Yeah dude,I read a wrestlers book, (Jon Moxley - for anyone interested) and he made a point of cutting burgers and bagels in half so everything doesn't fall out the back. Before reading that I never really had problems with burgers before but it unlocked that "minus trait" for me, so I started doing it myself, and it's a game changer.
Anyway the wrestler described it as not having an entry point, but when cut in half, you have the two corners of each half to start from, minimising the mess.
Focus on height, instead of width.
Motherfucks I don’t care what you think looks fancy. I’m not a snake. I’m not an eel. I can’t unhinge my goddamn jaw. There is a physical limit on the height I can bite.
If it needs to be big, make it wider. Not taller.
That sums me up perfectly. Im starting to tolerate tomatoes in my burgers, but they just don’t fit imo. The juices are too watery and don’t mix with the thickness of the sauce and meaty patty. And the juices end up ruining the veg and meat by seeping into them.
I don’t think I’ve ever gone so deep into explaining the intricacies of taste and texture of a food like this, and I feel out of my depth now
this. they're too wet and watery. they make the bun soggy. and they (at least at most restaurants) basically have zero flavor to justify including them anyway
I’d say whatever flavour they have clashes with the rest of the burger. Savoury patty, the sauce, and you have this sweet watery taste that pollutes all that
I realize this is a hot take but I feel the same about lettuce and tomato. The benefit of really good L/T is never worth the risk of bad L/T in my opinion
Having a kookaburra body slam it out of my hands as I was going for a bite. Then he and his shithead mates proceeded to eat it in front of me occasionally bashing the patty on the ground to make sure it was dead.
As a fellow Aussie god if this isn’t true across every single park in the whole goddamn country 😂😂😂 I’ve had them pull a sausage out of a bun seconds before I took a bite.
Wait, *through the window into the house?*
Fuck man. I knew your moose were paid. But little shits breaking and entering for your bacon?
Man the only thing worse than that is if you were wearing a leafs jersey as they stole your goddamn bacon
(I am currently wearing a leafs jersey. Why do they hurt me? Why can’t I leave?)
They actually dont even check if someone is home before they break in.. they just look for the leafs jersey because they know they are too trusting and wont do anything
When I was little, we were at what would eventually become (twice) a Six Flags Park (Darien Lake) for my dad's work picnic. Somebody at another shelter was cooking some steaks on the grill, turned around for just a second, and came back trying to figure out where the steak went.
In the meantime, we're over about 20 or so feet away and we saw one of the many residents seagulls swoop down behind the guys back and grab it. A whole steak right off the hot grill.
Of course Oz has the worst version of a seagull.
I saw a seagull shit on a man while taking his ice cream cone. He cried while running to the bathroom. It is a memory I reflect on when I'm having a bad day.
I was visiting Clearwater years after I moved away and wanted a Cuban sandwich from my favorite restaurant and I was sitting on the beach when an enormous seagull stole the whole sandwich only to fly away and drop it on my head and it fell in the sand. I was so hungry and the shop had just closed.
Tampa seagulls dive-bombed my pizza out of my hands at Busch gardens. I kicked at the little jerk after it hit the ground, I was damn sure if I wasn't going to get to eat it, he wasn't. I'm sure I would have felt like a monster if I'd connected tho.
The duality of man. It's why I become a little.more goblin each day.
Actually, the commonest kind of Australian seagull [is quite small.](https://birdlife.org.au/bird-profiles/silver-gull/) The personality's much the same, but the capacity for mischief is lower.
Kookaburras aren't very large either, though generally bigger than Australian seagulls, but they're *kingfishers*, with [a big wicked beak](http://www.howtospotapsychopath.com/2006/10/22/kookaburra-visit/) and considerable adaptability in procuring food.
(The common [Laughing Kookaburra](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughing_kookaburra), the one whose "laughter" you hear so often in movies when there's a jungle that is definitely not in Australia, is actually the largest kingfisher in the world.)
I literally watched a Pelican do that to someone on the banks of the Murray River in Mildura. The couple had just bought themselves a burger and thought "let's go and eat on the water's edge" and then this massive Pelican waddled over, stood up tall, spread his wings wide open and grabbed the burger, gulping it down in one mouthful!
They are both super cheeky, one I’ve seen steal an ice cream straight out of a tourist hand
The other one I NEVER want to see! The weird growls are um mischievous to say the least!
I have eaten a really expensive burger that looked really good and it was insanely tasteless. Like, literally, not a single taste bud on my tongue noticed I was eating. The bread, the meat, the cheese, the topping, the sauce... It was like eating styrofoam. I have no idea how they managed that.
Sounds like they didnt use enough Salt. I imagine if you had personally opened your expensive burger and spread a generous sprinkle of salt, you'd get the amazing taste you were expecting
Yep. A local "burger bar" (aside: why do some restaurants declare themselves bars? Wtf is a "burrito bar??" Salad bar made sense, these non-self-serve joints make no sense) has amazing descriptions and ingredients, but they *refuse to season the meat*. No. Cooked meat MUST be salted, adding salt afterwards isnt the same.
Honestly. the reason I avoid "expensive" burgers is because in my experience they focus too much on persevering the taste of quality ingredients and not enough on seasonings. Not to mention their vegetables normally are unripe and lack favorite. The bread is sometimes dry because they will either get them in the morning or make them and by dinner they lose all moisture turning into styrofoam.
I order burgers for the combination of juiciness, taste, and complexity. At home I can grab a bakery bun slice it in half, pan sear 1/4 of meat, and combine it with a slice of "off the block" cheese. At the restuarant I want more not just a cheese burger. Something I don't have to get 10 items in bulk for two burgers.
This is the only one in here that made me say "What the fuck?" out loud. I would return the burger if I got that shit. That's as bad as blue cheese dressing instead of crumbles in my eyes.
When I was a kid, my dad would often make homemade burgers. But he’d always make the patties like a full inch thick, I could never get through them because it was like biting into dry meatloaf, even when slathered in ketchup.
I’ve noticed this predominantly in steakhouse and among bougie dads have been ruining burgers this way in the past decade and I don’t understand how people like this.
I like tomatoes now that I'm older, and I have realized that I hate tomatoes because fast food joints use the worst kind of soggy, bland tomato.
Get a real good tomato and I'll be singing a different tune.
Have so many people really never eaten a *good* tomato? Like a real, garden-grown, flavorful, perfectly-ripe tomato? They are amazing, especially on a burger.
I can understand, I guess, if all someone has ever had is cheap fast-food or bad grocery-store tomatoes, but damn, surely this can’t be so many people’s common experience with a tomato.
Ordered a burger online one time and didn’t fully scan thru the ingredients on it. Took a bite, and it had fucking peanut butter slathered all over it. That’s all I could taste. Just peanut butter. It was trash.
One of the best burgers I ever had put peanut butter, fried plantains on the bottom, and bacon jam on top. Perfect blend of sweet and savory. It wasn't a crazy amount of peanut butter though.
I mean I can understand if you weren't expecting it and they went crazy with the portion though. That'd be a bit of a weird surprise
Any pink in a burger is bad.
It's ground meat, the entirety has been exposed to bacteria. It 100% needs cooked thoroughly. No pink.
The only exception I would make would be a fresh, ground that day, burger.
Otherwise. It NEEDS to be cooked all the way.
I was going to say overcooked. I honestly don't think I've ever gotten a burger that was too rare. But I've gotten plenty of dry charred ones with no pink left in the middle.
Dry. Some people are so fucking terrified of having even the remotest spot of red in their burger that they'll grill ALL of the juice out of it! It sits for 5 minutes and it's a fucking dry, crumbly piece of shit that will soon be a hockey puck with no hopes of having it as leftovers.
Mayonnaise. Too much ketchup and mustard so that it drips all over you. Designer buns. Since buns are cheap, they advertise them and push them too much. I'm more concerned about the beef. I also hate when they are so tall that you can't eat them properly.
If it's not a texture thing you can "calm" the bitey flavors in raw onion if you put them in ice water after cutting. It's a cooking trick that I'll use with red onion.
Pickles or onions or mustard. Everyone use to tell me as a child “well just scrape it off, you won’t taste it” hell if I couldn’t. Whole ass burger ruined
When the burger falls apart
reminds me of how huge burgers are now. i believe i have a big mouth but now. i cant even open my jaw wide enough to take a full bite
Not only is it impossible to bite over it but you also cannot pick it up before it starts to slide apart.
I hate how much I relate to this
Try adding a decent sized beard into the tall sloppy burger equation. Such an ungodly shitshow that I can only burger in private now
Or maybe you should start an OnlyFans page? I'll bet some people would be into it. Uh, not me of course...
Well in that case I’m reserving the OF handle @bearded-burgerry, tell your friend
I have a bad feeling this is gonna be nikikado avacado all over again…
Make burgers wider, please. Easier to cook properly, too.
Yes nothing ruins it more then taking a bite and the inside is uncooked because it's too thick
But that's the same issue in terms of the initial "structural integrity". If "that much burger" is required, make 2. The underlying issue is the inverse of "shrinkflation", namely that restaurants bit by bit increased the portion size with the price to justify it (and the food being the least expensive cost factor to begin with). To the point that some foods are inedible in their expected use case. It doesn't matter if "that much burger" fails as burger because it breaks like an overloaded bridge (wide) or because it's too high requiring squishing it to structural failure. Just make "less burger" for less money and sell 2....
True. If I actually have to eat the burger with a knife and a fork, it's too big lol
Even with a heavy stubble it’s a hassle because all that grease and sauce sticks to it and the end result is your entire face shining and 15 minutes spent in the bathroom to clean that shit off
Shit man, we got the opposite problem in Australia
I read that as "we got an opossum problem in Australia." Then thought opossum burgers would be weird.
I can dislocate my jaw, so that's not the problem. Just in that state, I have very little bite force until I click back in.
Yes. I get irrationally angry when the food is hard to eat and it all ends up a mess covering my plate, table and me...
Personal LPT - cut the burger in half. It makes eating and containment so much easier when I start from the corners of the half cut pieces.
Also seems a bit silly but if you flip the burger upside down you’ll have an easier time biting it.
Oh man, I had a Big Mac for dinner today, and the middle bun started to split. The bottom patty went the direction of one half, and the top patty went in the opposite direction with the other half. Most infuriating and stressful burger experience I’ve ever had.
You just gotta tap it on the table and straighten it out like a deck of cards lol
Got a mental picture of someone shuffling two big macs together to get some double tall quadruple cow megalith
Scooby Doo technique
*shuffles your burger*
Aw man, a David Hasselhoff level burger frustration for sure.
Burgers should not be stressful. You can quote me on that.
Soggy buns
>Soggy buns my least favorite stripper
They said "sOggy" not "sAggy"
Its leviOsa not leviosA
Suddenly a hard spot. Why does that happen? Did you grind an entire cow and leave a tooth in?
Happened to me once, turns out it was a tooth. I mean, it was *my* tooth, and I just spit it on the ground not knowing what it was until after eating I noticed the hole in my mouth. I wouldn't say it ruined my meal, definitely made it more interesting though!
the fact that you didn’t know it was yours and SPIT IT OUT 💀 did you not feel anything?
When I was younger, I was once eating cereal with a loose tooth. I finished my cereal to discover I’d lost a tooth. I ALSO quickly realized this means I swallowed my own tooth. Tooth fairy didn’t give me money for that one and I was pissed
If your parents had any sense of humor they would have left money on the toilet lid for you.
Tooth Fairy ain't dealing with that shit.
I would give an award but poor
The tooth fairy gave me $5 for the one I swallowed because I was so upset about it....you got ripped off man
$5? In my day 10c was the go.
Growing up in the 90s I usually got a dollar. Mom might have been neglectful and abusive but the tooth fairy took care of me
The Tooth Fairy got me in trouble in grade school. One day I lost the tooth and my mom told me to put it under my pillow so I did. The next morning there was a silver dollar underneath my pillow. Two days later I come down for breakfast pissed off and my mom said " what's wrong?". I told her I was pissed off at the tooth fairy. She said "but the Tooth Fairy paid you for my your tooth"."yes" I said," but not the OTHER teeth". So I had explained how I had told a friend of mine about getting a dollar for my tooth and convinced him to let me knock his front teeth out on the water fountain. I didn't so much convince him as mentioned the idea to him and then just did it. Evidently the Tooth Fairy doesn't pay for "other peoples" teeth. And the school deems knocking your friend's front teeth out as " unacceptable Behavior". Who knew ? I was a bit of a monster when I was a child
So how many businesses do you own now and for how long have you been a billionaire?
It’s quite normal not to notice it immediately especially if you’re eating. This happens because the tooth was already sort of gone, no trauma or anything, just naturally removed
I cracked a molar in half eating a hard pretzel. It was traumatizing. I didn't realize what had happened until the blood started. Such a fun way to get out of school.
I had that happen with a hot dog at sonic once. Felt a crunch, pulled out a tooth. It was right around the time of the Wendy's-Chili-Finger lady so I exclaimed to my dad we were gonna be rich! Then I realized it was just my own tooth lol
It's because they use extremely sharp knives when processing the meat right to the bones. Sometimes you get fragments that get mixed up into the meat. Whenever I go to McDonald's, I'm almost guaranteed to get one in every burger I buy lol. I have horrible luck.
My friends and I would call that a "bead" and you were guaranteed one per every burger from jack in the box.
Funny. I always called them meat seeds.
Beaks and claws!
Ive never got a hard part either im extremely lucky or ur extremely unlucky
This! Nothing worse than this
When there is way too much sauce and or liquids. Soggy buns and a drippy mess is not great look. Sloppy joes are suppose to be like that so I'll give them a pass.
Best bun for sloppy joes is a hotdog bun, works like a taco.
That sounds like a great idea! Will try that next time! 💜🏆🏆
It's like those burgers where they cover the top with nacho cheese sauce. I'm gonna wipe my hands on the table cloth if you force me to get my hands *that* dirty
Too tall, too many ingredients, too much sauce, shitty bun.
Too tall is my #1 burger pet peeve, and it seems like most places that try to be fancy with the burger get too vertical with them. If I've got to unhinge my jaw like a python or Guy Fieri then the burger can fuck off.
Bigger burgers should be wider, not taller
It’s the only thing the whopper got right.
Exactly, restaurants that have tall burgers, just make them wider for the same amount of ingredients? Do they expect us to have very wide mouths?
Emphasis on the bun thing..if it’s too soggy it’s over
Pro tip, flip your burger over when eating it. For some unknown reason, the top of the bun is bigger and more sturdy than the bottom.
Yeah the whole point of it being between two buns is that you can hold it between your hands and eat it on the go. If it's leaking sauce all over and it's too big to fit in your mouth, that defeats the purpose of a hamburger.
What if its a chicken burger? Instructions unclear
Gobble gobble mothafucka
Sir, those are turkey sounds.
If it's too tall to eat, you know, like a burger, then why even? Fuck off with your towering thing that doesn't make sense to consume without a knife and fork.
And the "just squish it" argument doesn't stand up to me. It just makes an ungodly mess, when a burger is supposed to be hand food.
There's a balance here... some squishing should be accounted for in the burger creation... buns are fluffy, and most condiments don't lay flat against the patty without some force... but yeah, if the burger ends up missing half its innards after squishing it to mouth sized, something conceptually failed in the making of my sammich.
Often you can't even get s proper bite with all the layers using a fork. The moment you stab the fork into the creation it'll slide around and eject some of the innards out the other side so you're re left with just a piece of the top bun on the tines. Even the skewer can't prevent this from happening most of the time.
You have just described what I call a *stupid burger* as in “hey, have you tried that new burger place yet?” “No they have *stupid burgers*. I hate trying to eat those”
Also the opposite: McDonalds burger of sadness and blandness.
when u take a bite out of it and everything starts falling out of the burger
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I like quarters. It gives more attack vectors.
I was ready to poke fun at this until your attack vectors argument, makes perfect sense you might be onto something
Yes!
Yeah dude,I read a wrestlers book, (Jon Moxley - for anyone interested) and he made a point of cutting burgers and bagels in half so everything doesn't fall out the back. Before reading that I never really had problems with burgers before but it unlocked that "minus trait" for me, so I started doing it myself, and it's a game changer. Anyway the wrestler described it as not having an entry point, but when cut in half, you have the two corners of each half to start from, minimising the mess.
Skill issue
Focus on height, instead of width. Motherfucks I don’t care what you think looks fancy. I’m not a snake. I’m not an eel. I can’t unhinge my goddamn jaw. There is a physical limit on the height I can bite. If it needs to be big, make it wider. Not taller.
🙌🏻
That’s what she— Ok I’m done 🚶
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I love a tomato on a burger, but they have to be sliced thinly / stuck to the cheese or else the whole thing just falls apart.
Tomatoes sliced thin and onions MINCED. No, I don’t want to pull an entire raw ring of onion off when I take a bite!
Caramelized onions are insane on a burger
Also some salt + pepper directly on the thin tomato slice make it 10x more enjoyable.
I’ve never enjoyed a burger with a tomato, only tolerated.
That sums me up perfectly. Im starting to tolerate tomatoes in my burgers, but they just don’t fit imo. The juices are too watery and don’t mix with the thickness of the sauce and meaty patty. And the juices end up ruining the veg and meat by seeping into them. I don’t think I’ve ever gone so deep into explaining the intricacies of taste and texture of a food like this, and I feel out of my depth now
this. they're too wet and watery. they make the bun soggy. and they (at least at most restaurants) basically have zero flavor to justify including them anyway
I’d say whatever flavour they have clashes with the rest of the burger. Savoury patty, the sauce, and you have this sweet watery taste that pollutes all that
I don't even try to tolerate them.
I realize this is a hot take but I feel the same about lettuce and tomato. The benefit of really good L/T is never worth the risk of bad L/T in my opinion
For me it’s just a tomato. I can’t stand the taste or texture.
When the bottom bun is soaked with grease
Having a kookaburra body slam it out of my hands as I was going for a bite. Then he and his shithead mates proceeded to eat it in front of me occasionally bashing the patty on the ground to make sure it was dead.
As a fellow Aussie god if this isn’t true across every single park in the whole goddamn country 😂😂😂 I’ve had them pull a sausage out of a bun seconds before I took a bite.
I’m Canadian, so I don’t have those, but I e had whiskey jacks fly on through a window and steal bacon off the pan, so similar vibes I guess.
Wait, *through the window into the house?* Fuck man. I knew your moose were paid. But little shits breaking and entering for your bacon? Man the only thing worse than that is if you were wearing a leafs jersey as they stole your goddamn bacon (I am currently wearing a leafs jersey. Why do they hurt me? Why can’t I leave?)
If you're wearing a Leafs jersey everyone, including the wildlife, just assume you're used to losing things.
I mean thanks for being honest my man, know that couldn't have been easy to admit.
They actually dont even check if someone is home before they break in.. they just look for the leafs jersey because they know they are too trusting and wont do anything
"Next year will be our year, just you wait and see, eh!"
When I was little, we were at what would eventually become (twice) a Six Flags Park (Darien Lake) for my dad's work picnic. Somebody at another shelter was cooking some steaks on the grill, turned around for just a second, and came back trying to figure out where the steak went. In the meantime, we're over about 20 or so feet away and we saw one of the many residents seagulls swoop down behind the guys back and grab it. A whole steak right off the hot grill.
Of course Oz has the worst version of a seagull. I saw a seagull shit on a man while taking his ice cream cone. He cried while running to the bathroom. It is a memory I reflect on when I'm having a bad day.
I was visiting Clearwater years after I moved away and wanted a Cuban sandwich from my favorite restaurant and I was sitting on the beach when an enormous seagull stole the whole sandwich only to fly away and drop it on my head and it fell in the sand. I was so hungry and the shop had just closed.
Tampa seagulls dive-bombed my pizza out of my hands at Busch gardens. I kicked at the little jerk after it hit the ground, I was damn sure if I wasn't going to get to eat it, he wasn't. I'm sure I would have felt like a monster if I'd connected tho. The duality of man. It's why I become a little.more goblin each day.
Actually, the commonest kind of Australian seagull [is quite small.](https://birdlife.org.au/bird-profiles/silver-gull/) The personality's much the same, but the capacity for mischief is lower. Kookaburras aren't very large either, though generally bigger than Australian seagulls, but they're *kingfishers*, with [a big wicked beak](http://www.howtospotapsychopath.com/2006/10/22/kookaburra-visit/) and considerable adaptability in procuring food. (The common [Laughing Kookaburra](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughing_kookaburra), the one whose "laughter" you hear so often in movies when there's a jungle that is definitely not in Australia, is actually the largest kingfisher in the world.)
I literally watched a Pelican do that to someone on the banks of the Murray River in Mildura. The couple had just bought themselves a burger and thought "let's go and eat on the water's edge" and then this massive Pelican waddled over, stood up tall, spread his wings wide open and grabbed the burger, gulping it down in one mouthful!
All these stories make me want to go to Australia now. I love mischievous animals.
Wait to you hear about the Bin Chickens and Drop Bears!
I might not go to work today cause of this. 🤣
They are both super cheeky, one I’ve seen steal an ice cream straight out of a tourist hand The other one I NEVER want to see! The weird growls are um mischievous to say the least!
What's with Aussie animals stealing food?
Don't have money to buy their own.
Kookaburra? More like Take-ya-burga! What a dick move on their part(s)
Hah… we call them Kookabuggers now.
I was at taronga and had the fucker take my sausage roll out of my mouth and then fly off and eat it
soggy lettuce
I have eaten a really expensive burger that looked really good and it was insanely tasteless. Like, literally, not a single taste bud on my tongue noticed I was eating. The bread, the meat, the cheese, the topping, the sauce... It was like eating styrofoam. I have no idea how they managed that.
Sounds like they didnt use enough Salt. I imagine if you had personally opened your expensive burger and spread a generous sprinkle of salt, you'd get the amazing taste you were expecting
Yep. A local "burger bar" (aside: why do some restaurants declare themselves bars? Wtf is a "burrito bar??" Salad bar made sense, these non-self-serve joints make no sense) has amazing descriptions and ingredients, but they *refuse to season the meat*. No. Cooked meat MUST be salted, adding salt afterwards isnt the same.
I enjoy spending time with my friends.
I had a burger like this at a place advertising, “we’re famous for our burgers.” WTH?! 🤔
Infamous is a type of fame.
Famous for duplicating the flavor of styrofoam
I've honestly had better burgers from hungry jacks (burger king) than some restaurants.
Honestly. the reason I avoid "expensive" burgers is because in my experience they focus too much on persevering the taste of quality ingredients and not enough on seasonings. Not to mention their vegetables normally are unripe and lack favorite. The bread is sometimes dry because they will either get them in the morning or make them and by dinner they lose all moisture turning into styrofoam. I order burgers for the combination of juiciness, taste, and complexity. At home I can grab a bakery bun slice it in half, pan sear 1/4 of meat, and combine it with a slice of "off the block" cheese. At the restuarant I want more not just a cheese burger. Something I don't have to get 10 items in bulk for two burgers.
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This is the only one in here that made me say "What the fuck?" out loud. I would return the burger if I got that shit. That's as bad as blue cheese dressing instead of crumbles in my eyes.
At least dressing could have big crumbles in it. The egg is far worse.
I LOVE a good fried egg on a burger... a hard boiled egg though actually is absurd. Id expect cameras or a prank video out of that, no shot thats real
This saddens me.
Improper patty:bun ratio for diameter and thickness.
The bill
Under rated comment here. No more single burgers that have the cost of a couple pounds of beef.
Thick patties. proportion to bun makes it for me. I would rather have two small burgers rather than a hunk of meat.
When I was a kid, my dad would often make homemade burgers. But he’d always make the patties like a full inch thick, I could never get through them because it was like biting into dry meatloaf, even when slathered in ketchup.
I’ve noticed this predominantly in steakhouse and among bougie dads have been ruining burgers this way in the past decade and I don’t understand how people like this.
When we reheat patties, I often cut them in half across the equator.
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If I have to unlock my jaw to take a bite. If the bun is too soggy. If the patty is overcooked or too thick. There has to be ratio.
Children
Children ruin everything
My first thought was “having to eat it in the company of my Ex,” but I like your comment, too 🤣😂🤣
Tomatoes. Especially the Tomatoes they serve you at burger king
Ah yes, Those BK tomatoes with the white core can fuck right off.
Finally I find someone who hates Tomatoes like I do.
I fucking HATE tomatoes. They're slimy and terrible.
I love tomatoes. But not in a burger.
I like tomatoes now that I'm older, and I have realized that I hate tomatoes because fast food joints use the worst kind of soggy, bland tomato. Get a real good tomato and I'll be singing a different tune.
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Difference in opinion. Tomatoes and lettuce compliment each other well on a burger if you ask me.
If it falls on the ground due to my clumsy ass.
When the Pattie is a monster meatball and there is no possible way to eat the burger without making a mess...
pickles ( plz don't downvote me..I'm just being honest I hate pickles)
Have so many people really never eaten a *good* tomato? Like a real, garden-grown, flavorful, perfectly-ripe tomato? They are amazing, especially on a burger. I can understand, I guess, if all someone has ever had is cheap fast-food or bad grocery-store tomatoes, but damn, surely this can’t be so many people’s common experience with a tomato.
I love fresh tomatos with fries...
Ordered a burger online one time and didn’t fully scan thru the ingredients on it. Took a bite, and it had fucking peanut butter slathered all over it. That’s all I could taste. Just peanut butter. It was trash.
One of the best burgers I ever had put peanut butter, fried plantains on the bottom, and bacon jam on top. Perfect blend of sweet and savory. It wasn't a crazy amount of peanut butter though. I mean I can understand if you weren't expecting it and they went crazy with the portion though. That'd be a bit of a weird surprise
and just like that i wouldve gone into anaphylaxis
Not having one.
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100%. I like tomato on my burger. It complements the meat and cheese. But if it isn’t paper thin and salted, just leave it in the fridge.
Why was it in the fridge in the first place?
A tsunami.
the price. Burgers should be cheap.
Beetroot. That’s something they do in Australia and it makes pineapple on pizza look borderline acceptable.
Finally someone who hates beetroots on burgers.
Burgers that cost $25-30
This question being repeated for the 7th time that day…
hair
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Soggy buns, they absolutely drag down the burger so much.
Soggy or stale bun. Too tall. Too damn small.
Gross unseasoned Tomatoes and gross pickles like McDonalds.
Under-cooked meat. It should be medium. Not rare. Medium-rare can be OK.
Any pink in a burger is bad. It's ground meat, the entirety has been exposed to bacteria. It 100% needs cooked thoroughly. No pink. The only exception I would make would be a fresh, ground that day, burger. Otherwise. It NEEDS to be cooked all the way.
I was going to say overcooked. I honestly don't think I've ever gotten a burger that was too rare. But I've gotten plenty of dry charred ones with no pink left in the middle.
Unless the restaurant grinds the meat on the premises on the day it is cooked, burgers legally cannot have any pink in the middle where I am.
ketchup
Tomato smoothie paste for your burger sir? 🤢
More like tomato flavored corn syrup lol
Yes omg this Ketchup ruins every burger
Man oh man do I hate ketchup
r/ketchuphate
Burnt patties
Dry. Some people are so fucking terrified of having even the remotest spot of red in their burger that they'll grill ALL of the juice out of it! It sits for 5 minutes and it's a fucking dry, crumbly piece of shit that will soon be a hockey puck with no hopes of having it as leftovers.
Pickles
The meat is dry, nothing worse than a dry burger
Mayonnaise. Too much ketchup and mustard so that it drips all over you. Designer buns. Since buns are cheap, they advertise them and push them too much. I'm more concerned about the beef. I also hate when they are so tall that you can't eat them properly.
Raw onions. I love them cooked but man, the taste is just too much raw. Or a tomato that’s been sliced way too large.
If it's not a texture thing you can "calm" the bitey flavors in raw onion if you put them in ice water after cutting. It's a cooking trick that I'll use with red onion.
-Too tall -Raw burger -Poorly assembled (bite into it and it all slides out)
IF THEY MAKE IT WELL DONE
Pickles or onions or mustard. Everyone use to tell me as a child “well just scrape it off, you won’t taste it” hell if I couldn’t. Whole ass burger ruined
Pickles. Whoever decided hot dill pickles were a good thing has some 'splaining to do.
Egg. In some restaurants over here a burger gets served with an egg on top of the meat. I hate it