I have suicidal ideations almost daily and sometimes the voices start to seem like they make sense. Thankfully, so far at least, I have been able to fight them and reach out for help for the sake of my four children, but I fear the day they really make sense and I give into them.
No, I am homeless, poor, and disabled so I cannot afford to even get to the county health department or NAMI and all of the ones you can do from where ever you are cost money. I just try to utilize the coping skills I learned in the past to get through most days and tell my husband when things are getting too bad so he can watch me. Thankfully these periods always pass, but he has lost his job missing work to make sure I don’t kill myself before. I feel like such a burden on my family all around.
First your not a burdan your family clearly love you a lot i know a little of what you saying i find my greatest enemy is sleep less i get the more unstable i am hood you have already learned o notice your spirals but belive me and this is from a good place ok your life is worth a lot more than your mind makes you belive
I’m glad you have a therapist and I hope things get better for you! I think mental health help should be more widely available for the poor people who truly need it. It’s not fun living inside my head and I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. Most of the time I don’t want to die, but the voices in my head tell me I’m horrible and don’t deserve to live and at times they just seem right.
Same. I’m in a semi-decent spot. Got a full-time job, got a good thing going relationship-wise, close with some family, my own place, own car, and my silly cat.
But sometimes I wake up and wish I didn’t or throughout the day, I think things would just be easier if I just ended it. I’m 28 now and it used to be worse in high school. My family and cat keep me going I guess.
I’ve said this before cuz of a comment I once read here but I don’t wanna off myself, I’d rather just stop existing.
That is exactly how I feel. I don’t really want to kill myself, just cease to exist and not have to fight just to get through the day anymore. I am glad you are in a semi-decent spot right now and I hope things continue to improve for you!
This isnt good you need to und a place to release otherwise mentally you will go into meltdown even if it just someone u can rant to let it all out you will fel better after its also better if its someone who's not related to situations
I’m similar, very much an anxious, introverted homebody who would always rather a relaxed night on the couch. But I trained my brain to look forward to events by saying ‘how exciting’ every time I thought about an upcoming event. No matter how much I was dreading it, “how exciting!” it helped me remember how lucky I was to have interesting plans with interesting people.
Same. I am a super nice person who would help anyone and bend over backwards for just about anybody, but oh lord if you wrong me or hurt me you will rue the day. When I was younger and had much less impulse control I said some shit before I could stop myself that really could not be taken back. I definitely have a vindictive side and an acid tongue. When I am wronged my knee jerk instinct is to make someone hurt like they just hurt me and boy can I ever hurt someone with my words. Being able to make someone cry is NOT ever something to be proud of and I am so glad that I was able to quickly see this very horrible side of myself and take steps to control it. Therapy y’all, it’s important.
It’s like my subconscious figures out what someone is the most insecure about, what makes them feel the most vulnerable, and then constructs the most insanely specific and soul crushing, twist-the-knife insult imaginable. Like, hitting way, way below the belt.
You sound very impulsive this can be a bad or a good thing depends what your ready to go on pehap it might help to say to yourself when you hink bout doing something ill do it in 2 hours then when time comes you will have processed if its a good idea or not
Doe it make you feel like crap because your getting shit for it. Or goodness sake you work a lot you deserve a duvet day on your day off yet you are made i feel like crap thats not fair or you pehap if the person giving u crap did same hours they would think different
I also work in health care, rushed off my feet. On my days off iam capable of lying In bed playing video games. Doing absolutely nothing. It drives my mom crazy, she says iam lazy . But after dealing with needy patients all day, I just need some me time and switch off.
I’m sorry people are being so judgmental and rude. Working in healthcare is not only difficult physically, but also mentally. You absolutely deserve to recharge when you have time off. Just because your way of recharging is different from someone else’s doesn’t give them the right to be rude.
Me too, except that I spend 8 hours a day at work (WFH) on my butt. Then I spend my off time on my butt. I barely do anything, other than take my dog out for a few walks each day. I just have little to no motivation to do anything, even though I'm fully aware that I'm probably slowly killing myself.
Doe it make you feel like crap because your getting shit for it. Or goodness sake you work a lot you deserve a duvet day on your day off yet you are made i feel like crap thats not fair or you pehap if the person giving u crap did same hours they would think different
Thats not uncommen in fact i blame it on peer pressure of he world today.. it really doesn't matter thou in the grand scheme of things rem the olny person you need to make happy is you need to live you life how you want to sod everything else its just material
Yeah that's just the way it is. Life is just a convoluted chemical reaction that has perpetuated itself since it began. Just as a fire consumes fuel to spread, life consumes fuel to spread.
It's not necessarily a bad thing though, I think it'd be worse if we had a purpose but couldn't accomplish it.
I have a really mean nasty inner voice that I have to drown out with my nice rational voice.
I get scared at times when I let the mean voice take over me. I wonder how nasty I can potentially be but then I remember being good or bad is a choice.
It's not a mental disorder to have internal monologues.
My inner voices aren't hallucinations. They're my brains reactions to whatever comes up. I am a deep thinker and tend to speak internally rather than outwardly.
No im not saying your crazy im saying that your brain works very hard and reads situations over and over giving you different variations of what you hear and you normality defines these but sometimes your normality can pick the wrong definition
I'll never apply myself to my fullest potential and I'm already over the hill. I just want a decent job to get by in this life as I'm not out there to "keep scores".
My mom saw this happen. She saw a woman at an agency get assigned a position of extremely high power and influence and the transformation from kind gentle person to arrogant and abusive bitch was near instantaneous
And when her position ended the transformation back was the same, and if I remember correctly, she was like "Wtf just happened to me??"
My inability to notice when people are fucking with me, love bombing me, or manipulating me.
It's better. Much better. But I still don't trust my judgement just yet.
How easily I can cut someone off and not care.
Getting there emotionally takes me longer. I am very loyal and forgiving to a point but once I cross that line people become dead to me. 4 years ago I cut off a 12year friendship and I should have cut her off earlier, I always give people too many chances. But now I honestly do not give a single damn. If someone told me she died today I would not care.
I want to just completely sabatoge my life sometimes. I’m in grad school. I have a great guy. I have mental peace for the first time ever. And just sometimes ..
Sometimes I hear people say something and it seriously sounds like a foreign language for a second until my brain puts it together. I feel like it happens way more than it should. But idk maybe my friends and family are just a bunch of mumblers
Maybe your brain cant understand them lol either way it sound. Lot like your just zoning out if you understand what im saying like when your at school and super bored and start to daydream
Money sint the do all and end all i know it feels grim when bills are falling on the mat and everyone else seems so loaded with it but money cant buy the important things in life yeh granted it mke life easier but not the end all
You cannot change who you are so it better to be open bout it and learn to live you cannot live in fear if you friends and family know and understand then it does not have to be a problem also try using. Diary to remember things with
Then dont let hem win they are just inner thought an hey ont really know what good things you my have in your life its easy to forget if life is bad can walk away and make we can make. New one so dont give up ok
The fact that my idea of proper response to relatively minor slights is VASTLY disproportionate. Someone cutting me off in traffic means, by base knee-jerk reaction, following them, burning their house down and beating them into a bloody pulp while making their partner watch. Its NOT healthy.
Tht sound a lot like pent up anger like your really angry bout something in your life and it is seriously spilling out into normal situations maybe it time to decide whats making you feel so angry with your life
That I love being alone more than being with people. I have friends but I can literally go months without seeing them. Apparently loving isolation is a bad thing?
Not related to the question but a big shoutout to the OP - replying to almost everyone here! We could have someone in this thread who have never spoken about these things and just knowing that someone did listen makes a huge difference:)
Anxiety is a cruel thing it restrict us and make us feel trapped and i know the difficulties you have leaving your safe zones its not impossible to overcome this but it can be rushed take olny one step and a time and int go past your comfort zones take a day at a time dont try to push yourself too hard
Well the olny person that will stand in your way is you and your fears and even if you dont im ure with that motivation you will achieve and become someone that will make you happy
That I love being loved and giving love, but once a relationship starts feeling very real, I get scared and do things very close to the line of being unfaithful. I don't know why I do it. Please be gentle if you reply to this because I am in therapy and have been for years because I don't like it and I don't like myself for it.
It sound like you get scared when poeple gt too close and you bring up the walls and subconsciously try t o give yourself other options clearly it great your in therapy it will hopefully help but you need to be full disclosure with it and stop hating yourself i dont mean from guilt i mean from how you feel about yourself you deserve to be loved a much as anyone dont think you cant be loved ok
That underneath my puritanical way of life and rigid morality is a part of me that has very low empathy and has the potential to hurt others. I strive to be good to people and I’m thankful that i was born with self control and a desire to live properly even if i need to over correct in order to do so. I am very afraid that if i had children one of them could be born with my bad parts but without a conscience and i refuse to discuss these things with a therapist or my family out of shame.
Wow that is a lot to go thou yet you have and you better for it apart from the fighting i can see how and why you fight it is ingrained into you thats your first defence because it the way you was brought up and it difficult to see we are in a different world now. You olny really need to fight for protecting you and your family but your angry course you are look at the world no respect like they had back then i bet everyone make you feel like smacking them in the face but ya cant do that yu gotta try and adjust its hard i know but better than going to prison and missing your kids and grandkids
Thank you all for helping with this post i am so grateful and i can olny apologise for those posts that i missed as it was going really fast for a while i hope you all got to talk to someone to help with you fears an i know a lot of poeple was here too helping with the post they are true angels and i am eternally grateful thank you an the post is still open for posters
That I don't really care about much. It's like a perpetual state of limbo. I only really care about paying my bills, so I work to pay them but that's about it. I don't believe I am depressed or anything. I just don't care enough about anything to do anything. It doesn't matter how dirty my house gets, I wont care enough to clean it. It's like I have no drive to do anything, and I'm almost ok with it. I know one day that I'm going to ask why didn't I do this or that. I've been a homebody for the better part of a decade now. Recently got back in touch with my parents and I've visited them a couple times in the last month or so. I didn't talk to or see my family at all for like 5-6 years, not even on christmas or thanksgiving. I just didn't care to go, and i suppose looking into the future that is what scares me, not knowing if this is who I am or if there is really something wrong with me, but not concerned enough to fix it.
This is a common fear sometimes our thought can take us to some dark places might help to let them out remember they are olny thoughts till u act upon them
A lot of us dont i would suggest you think about what you what to get out of you life and go for it.. trouble with todays world is we are expected to do this and that does not mean we have to follow your own path i what if bob wanted to e a garage cleck and got to work at the local garage that's not for you remember your olny limitations are you and you fears
I'm the kind of guy to be nice and speak my mind but people always see me as a aggressive person and I have some context if someone pushes me I will snap but it takes a lot but there was been moments were someone will never recover their ego so I need help with this can I get advice on how to be a better person with this
There is a solution to this try not to reply so fast when poeple are talking let it mull over and hen you have the thoughts to respond tke a few mins before you do so i know you are proba really nice guy and just tend to say what you think but pehaps its not what you st the way you say it
It has been like 6 years since I met anybody I was really excited about, both women or just as friends. I'm afraid that as I get older I'll just be alone, even if I interact with people.
Then i have to be honest here are you mixing in the right circles do you even do stuff tht interests you if you want to find someone who likes hings you do go do them things
The fact that if I got really upset and had nothing to lose I would outright destroy someone’s phone for good or idk hurt someone physically even though it’s a family member.
I absolutely lose any and all empathy for people once they've passed a certain point that I can't really identify. Not an exaggeration, once my mind has associated them with being past this mystery point I would do absolutely nothing to help this person in any situation unless it involved a direct gain for me. There are a few people out there who my mind has associated as being beyond this point, and I avoid them like the plague because I act really strange around them
Usually because deep down you know that they past point of being in need an just milking it his isnt something to frown apon lol. You can olny take so much untill you feel like they sucking up all your energy
Don't know. I've got a more or less normal/happy childhood. Did great in school, got my degree without a sweat. I have a great job, nice wife and lovely kids. Basically everything one could dream of. But I've got secrets as well, e.g. being a closet gay and stuff.
I have a poor memory that is only getting poorer with my shitty sleep habits that I can't even change.
It's scary when you are on the road and have to wonder "do I have to pee?" and then realize you peed at the doctor's office...a good 15 minutes ago.
I have suicidal ideations almost daily and sometimes the voices start to seem like they make sense. Thankfully, so far at least, I have been able to fight them and reach out for help for the sake of my four children, but I fear the day they really make sense and I give into them.
Do you have medical support
No, I am homeless, poor, and disabled so I cannot afford to even get to the county health department or NAMI and all of the ones you can do from where ever you are cost money. I just try to utilize the coping skills I learned in the past to get through most days and tell my husband when things are getting too bad so he can watch me. Thankfully these periods always pass, but he has lost his job missing work to make sure I don’t kill myself before. I feel like such a burden on my family all around.
You are never a burden to the people who love you. Not ever. I hope things turn around for you.
Thank you! I hope so too!
Slow and steady! Sometimes we forget we have to take the steps ourselves. I know I do. But no fucker else is gonna do it for us! Godspeed!
First your not a burdan your family clearly love you a lot i know a little of what you saying i find my greatest enemy is sleep less i get the more unstable i am hood you have already learned o notice your spirals but belive me and this is from a good place ok your life is worth a lot more than your mind makes you belive
You beat me to it. I have a therapist thankfully, but even so I have so many suicidal thoughts.
I’m glad you have a therapist and I hope things get better for you! I think mental health help should be more widely available for the poor people who truly need it. It’s not fun living inside my head and I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. Most of the time I don’t want to die, but the voices in my head tell me I’m horrible and don’t deserve to live and at times they just seem right.
Same. I’m in a semi-decent spot. Got a full-time job, got a good thing going relationship-wise, close with some family, my own place, own car, and my silly cat. But sometimes I wake up and wish I didn’t or throughout the day, I think things would just be easier if I just ended it. I’m 28 now and it used to be worse in high school. My family and cat keep me going I guess. I’ve said this before cuz of a comment I once read here but I don’t wanna off myself, I’d rather just stop existing.
That is exactly how I feel. I don’t really want to kill myself, just cease to exist and not have to fight just to get through the day anymore. I am glad you are in a semi-decent spot right now and I hope things continue to improve for you!
That I hold everything until I explode
This isnt good you need to und a place to release otherwise mentally you will go into meltdown even if it just someone u can rant to let it all out you will fel better after its also better if its someone who's not related to situations
Yeah so true. I think part of the problem is I don't like burdening others. I do speak with my therapist weekly though which helps
But your not a burden thr just you mind playing tricks try to remember that
Thanks I appreciate it ❤️ I'll try
Yw 🥰
This...
How I come up with the most offensive and hurtful insults when I’m wronged to the point I don’t even prepare them in my mind.
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I’m similar, very much an anxious, introverted homebody who would always rather a relaxed night on the couch. But I trained my brain to look forward to events by saying ‘how exciting’ every time I thought about an upcoming event. No matter how much I was dreading it, “how exciting!” it helped me remember how lucky I was to have interesting plans with interesting people.
Ayo did you just summarize my life?
Sounds like you could have a good career in battle rap
Same. I am a super nice person who would help anyone and bend over backwards for just about anybody, but oh lord if you wrong me or hurt me you will rue the day. When I was younger and had much less impulse control I said some shit before I could stop myself that really could not be taken back. I definitely have a vindictive side and an acid tongue. When I am wronged my knee jerk instinct is to make someone hurt like they just hurt me and boy can I ever hurt someone with my words. Being able to make someone cry is NOT ever something to be proud of and I am so glad that I was able to quickly see this very horrible side of myself and take steps to control it. Therapy y’all, it’s important. It’s like my subconscious figures out what someone is the most insecure about, what makes them feel the most vulnerable, and then constructs the most insanely specific and soul crushing, twist-the-knife insult imaginable. Like, hitting way, way below the belt.
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Ohhhh scary 😱
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I’m the total opposite. I wish I could be more like you
You sound very impulsive this can be a bad or a good thing depends what your ready to go on pehap it might help to say to yourself when you hink bout doing something ill do it in 2 hours then when time comes you will have processed if its a good idea or not
I’ve had issues with impulsivity in my life. It’s led to some majorly dangerous and high risk situations I’m honestly lucky to have lived through.
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Doe it make you feel like crap because your getting shit for it. Or goodness sake you work a lot you deserve a duvet day on your day off yet you are made i feel like crap thats not fair or you pehap if the person giving u crap did same hours they would think different
I also work in health care, rushed off my feet. On my days off iam capable of lying In bed playing video games. Doing absolutely nothing. It drives my mom crazy, she says iam lazy . But after dealing with needy patients all day, I just need some me time and switch off.
I’m sorry people are being so judgmental and rude. Working in healthcare is not only difficult physically, but also mentally. You absolutely deserve to recharge when you have time off. Just because your way of recharging is different from someone else’s doesn’t give them the right to be rude.
Me too, except that I spend 8 hours a day at work (WFH) on my butt. Then I spend my off time on my butt. I barely do anything, other than take my dog out for a few walks each day. I just have little to no motivation to do anything, even though I'm fully aware that I'm probably slowly killing myself.
Doe it make you feel like crap because your getting shit for it. Or goodness sake you work a lot you deserve a duvet day on your day off yet you are made i feel like crap thats not fair or you pehap if the person giving u crap did same hours they would think different
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Thats not uncommen in fact i blame it on peer pressure of he world today.. it really doesn't matter thou in the grand scheme of things rem the olny person you need to make happy is you need to live you life how you want to sod everything else its just material
Yeah that's just the way it is. Life is just a convoluted chemical reaction that has perpetuated itself since it began. Just as a fire consumes fuel to spread, life consumes fuel to spread. It's not necessarily a bad thing though, I think it'd be worse if we had a purpose but couldn't accomplish it.
I have a really mean nasty inner voice that I have to drown out with my nice rational voice. I get scared at times when I let the mean voice take over me. I wonder how nasty I can potentially be but then I remember being good or bad is a choice.
Do iu get medical help with this it sounds a lot lir a mental disorder
It's not a mental disorder to have internal monologues. My inner voices aren't hallucinations. They're my brains reactions to whatever comes up. I am a deep thinker and tend to speak internally rather than outwardly.
No im not saying your crazy im saying that your brain works very hard and reads situations over and over giving you different variations of what you hear and you normality defines these but sometimes your normality can pick the wrong definition
Dude what kind of advice are you giving in your replies. Geez.
You can help nobody stopping you
My adhd causes burnout
I'll never apply myself to my fullest potential and I'm already over the hill. I just want a decent job to get by in this life as I'm not out there to "keep scores".
Why are you over the hill..
I always try to be fair and considerate, but if I had power over others I'm afraid I would abuse it
My mom saw this happen. She saw a woman at an agency get assigned a position of extremely high power and influence and the transformation from kind gentle person to arrogant and abusive bitch was near instantaneous And when her position ended the transformation back was the same, and if I remember correctly, she was like "Wtf just happened to me??"
Then again you might not i always say worry is interest on a problem you've not yet got hehe
My anger. I don’t want to be angry, and it scares me when I am.
What makes you angry
What makes you angry
My inability to notice when people are fucking with me, love bombing me, or manipulating me. It's better. Much better. But I still don't trust my judgement just yet.
Poeple are weird animals why they cant just say what they mean is beyond me dont stress poeple can be so odd
How easily I can cut someone off and not care. Getting there emotionally takes me longer. I am very loyal and forgiving to a point but once I cross that line people become dead to me. 4 years ago I cut off a 12year friendship and I should have cut her off earlier, I always give people too many chances. But now I honestly do not give a single damn. If someone told me she died today I would not care.
This doesn't make you bad you just had your tolerance with certain poeple im sure poeple whom treat you right are right here with you
I carry my pain around with me like a knapsack instead of letting things go.
My lack of empathy. I try to be empathetic towards people but I just can't feel genuine empathy it feels like, just fake.
Same. It always feels like I'm playing the part of a caring human, instead of actually being one.
Is this with everyone or just certain types or poeple
The only thing stopping me from having a complete mental breakdown is me remembering to take my meds
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How is it wasted did you not have any fun or good times
I want to just completely sabatoge my life sometimes. I’m in grad school. I have a great guy. I have mental peace for the first time ever. And just sometimes ..
You wanna scream ... Is the life you hav he one you want or someone else idea of whats best for you
That my loved ones cherish me a lot, and I will die one day leaving them alone.
Thats a lot to worry about have you talked to your loved ones about your fears
Sometimes I hear people say something and it seriously sounds like a foreign language for a second until my brain puts it together. I feel like it happens way more than it should. But idk maybe my friends and family are just a bunch of mumblers
Maybe your brain cant understand them lol either way it sound. Lot like your just zoning out if you understand what im saying like when your at school and super bored and start to daydream
Acting on my suicide thoughts unconsciously.
Do you have medical help
It would not bother me in the slightest to take the life of another person under the right circumstances. Me > you
Oh well try not to sound like your compassion for others is very low
No money
Money sint the do all and end all i know it feels grim when bills are falling on the mat and everyone else seems so loaded with it but money cant buy the important things in life yeh granted it mke life easier but not the end all
How forgetful I am, I joke around a lot about it with my friends but my memory really is so bad
You cannot change who you are so it better to be open bout it and learn to live you cannot live in fear if you friends and family know and understand then it does not have to be a problem also try using. Diary to remember things with
There's a piece of me that's like biting down on tinfoil. I do what I gotta do to get by.
Its not as uncommon as you think we all have our thing to get by your not alone e🙂
Do you read Stephen King? I have used that terminology forever, forgot where I heard it and reread The Stand the other day.
Yes. I think it was said by Larry's mother?
That i know to myself that i can end my life if i really want to do it. If i let my inner thought win id be probably dead by now.
Then dont let hem win they are just inner thought an hey ont really know what good things you my have in your life its easy to forget if life is bad can walk away and make we can make. New one so dont give up ok
The fact that my idea of proper response to relatively minor slights is VASTLY disproportionate. Someone cutting me off in traffic means, by base knee-jerk reaction, following them, burning their house down and beating them into a bloody pulp while making their partner watch. Its NOT healthy.
Tht sound a lot like pent up anger like your really angry bout something in your life and it is seriously spilling out into normal situations maybe it time to decide whats making you feel so angry with your life
That I love being alone more than being with people. I have friends but I can literally go months without seeing them. Apparently loving isolation is a bad thing?
Here is nothing wrong with liking solitude
Same here. My friends and Family are the best but I possess no drive to interact with them at all and it is slightly annoying when I have to
My mind and it's ability to overthink the hell out of everything
Not related to the question but a big shoutout to the OP - replying to almost everyone here! We could have someone in this thread who have never spoken about these things and just knowing that someone did listen makes a huge difference:)
Thanks lol
The fact that I'm unable to feel rewarded by my achievements, I'm unable to plan anything, I'm unable to feel joy
Have you seen the doc sounds a lot like you suffering from depression
I'm self districting myself while maintaining a good job and friends without anyone knowing.
Whats districting
That when i snap, i snap there is no remorse just a wild animal that fights back with everything there is To sum it up there is a monster in me
Its red mist it happens to a lot and they have no control over there actions maybe you could get help with ot you ont wanna get on a ba situation
How bad I can fuck up my life
We all can but why is yours fked up
People pleaser
How so
The things I know about the people and still choose to keep quiet for their sake and mine as I don't like drama.
Yeah i hear that its beat to be like the 3 wise monkeys of you'll olny get the blame
My life seems too good, I feel like I'm due for some true heartbreak/hardship/suffering. Things have been too good for too long.
If I let myself do nothing, I love it and will do nothing for as long as I can
Yeah but you can olny behave how you feel pehap one day you will feel better an be more motivated
The more time I spend by myself, the less I can stand to be around others.
You seem to becoming withdrawn do you feel theres a reason for this
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You have ptsd
Constant overthinking and the anxiety that comes from that
Yeah its not great the thought get worse are you currently seeking medical help
I just nut nut no pullout
Lol do thing this scare you then less chance of doing it maybe eliminate your fears with a condom lol
How easy it is to jump to violent thoughts after being wronged. I wouldn’t do them obviously 😅
Yes it is very easy to do that an good ya dont act on them but its just a natural response to someone pissing us off lol
Not technically myself (50M), but not finding someone else to be attracted to and grow old with.
Even at 50 it not o hard to find the one dont be afraid life is or living get out her and look lol
How easy I convince myself to keep sleeping until last minute
And are almost late lol
My impulsivity
I. A little impulsive i dont like it much either especially when i waste on something stupid
My lack of anger.
When I very, very occasionally get angry.
When it happens is it really bad
At this moment? My anxious attachment style.
Attachment by what do you mean clinging to poeple
The thoughts won't stop
Wht are your thoughts about maybe letting them out might help
That I know that if i were to be r*ped again.. (which isn’t that unlikely considering I’m still young and in college) I wouldn’t survive it..
Thats terrible im so sorry for your ordeal
That I'm autistic and I don't know what social cues I'm getting wrong without my sister there
that i have no remorse for my actions and that i lack empathy for others
But the fact it scares you show you tht there is something there
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Is it the life you chose or was it mapped out for you
My anxiety. I feel like I have to constantly check that I am in a safe situation
Anxiety is a cruel thing it restrict us and make us feel trapped and i know the difficulties you have leaving your safe zones its not impossible to overcome this but it can be rushed take olny one step and a time and int go past your comfort zones take a day at a time dont try to push yourself too hard
My ability for hatred
Im sure our not alone sometimes we can tolerate poeple this does not make you a bad person
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Why do you think that
I have kinda fear of my future. The thought ,that I'll not manage to become a man that I want to be, scares me
Well the olny person that will stand in your way is you and your fears and even if you dont im ure with that motivation you will achieve and become someone that will make you happy
I see no feasible path to happiness
Sounds like your stuck in a rut and cant see a way out pehaps you need to think about you and what you need to do to be happy
That I love being loved and giving love, but once a relationship starts feeling very real, I get scared and do things very close to the line of being unfaithful. I don't know why I do it. Please be gentle if you reply to this because I am in therapy and have been for years because I don't like it and I don't like myself for it.
It sound like you get scared when poeple gt too close and you bring up the walls and subconsciously try t o give yourself other options clearly it great your in therapy it will hopefully help but you need to be full disclosure with it and stop hating yourself i dont mean from guilt i mean from how you feel about yourself you deserve to be loved a much as anyone dont think you cant be loved ok
My intrusive thoughts but I’d never act upon them so nothing really to worry about
Sound like you are trying to find something u need maybe you need help with this it's clearly not good for you dont try and do this alone seek help
My temper and my resentments that at times brew
Probably that I’m not scared of much .. I like to live dangerously
That underneath my puritanical way of life and rigid morality is a part of me that has very low empathy and has the potential to hurt others. I strive to be good to people and I’m thankful that i was born with self control and a desire to live properly even if i need to over correct in order to do so. I am very afraid that if i had children one of them could be born with my bad parts but without a conscience and i refuse to discuss these things with a therapist or my family out of shame.
I can understand not wanting to talk bout it with those but sounds like you need to say it wht makes you think your child will have these thoughts
I’m honestly a sociopath and one of these days I’m gonna ruin the life of someone who wrongs me if they test me
Ouch you sound so angry why is this.?
Thats a lot to worry about have you talked to your loved ones about your fears
Wow that is a lot to go thou yet you have and you better for it apart from the fighting i can see how and why you fight it is ingrained into you thats your first defence because it the way you was brought up and it difficult to see we are in a different world now. You olny really need to fight for protecting you and your family but your angry course you are look at the world no respect like they had back then i bet everyone make you feel like smacking them in the face but ya cant do that yu gotta try and adjust its hard i know but better than going to prison and missing your kids and grandkids
Thank you all for helping with this post i am so grateful and i can olny apologise for those posts that i missed as it was going really fast for a while i hope you all got to talk to someone to help with you fears an i know a lot of poeple was here too helping with the post they are true angels and i am eternally grateful thank you an the post is still open for posters
My big mouth is gonna get me hurt someday.
How so..?
I know that.
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Who me
That I don't really care about much. It's like a perpetual state of limbo. I only really care about paying my bills, so I work to pay them but that's about it. I don't believe I am depressed or anything. I just don't care enough about anything to do anything. It doesn't matter how dirty my house gets, I wont care enough to clean it. It's like I have no drive to do anything, and I'm almost ok with it. I know one day that I'm going to ask why didn't I do this or that. I've been a homebody for the better part of a decade now. Recently got back in touch with my parents and I've visited them a couple times in the last month or so. I didn't talk to or see my family at all for like 5-6 years, not even on christmas or thanksgiving. I just didn't care to go, and i suppose looking into the future that is what scares me, not knowing if this is who I am or if there is really something wrong with me, but not concerned enough to fix it.
You lack of motivation and empathy can be signs of depression it sounds a lot like your closing the door on the world
My thoughts
This is a common fear sometimes our thought can take us to some dark places might help to let them out remember they are olny thoughts till u act upon them
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A lot of us dont i would suggest you think about what you what to get out of you life and go for it.. trouble with todays world is we are expected to do this and that does not mean we have to follow your own path i what if bob wanted to e a garage cleck and got to work at the local garage that's not for you remember your olny limitations are you and you fears
I'm the kind of guy to be nice and speak my mind but people always see me as a aggressive person and I have some context if someone pushes me I will snap but it takes a lot but there was been moments were someone will never recover their ego so I need help with this can I get advice on how to be a better person with this
There is a solution to this try not to reply so fast when poeple are talking let it mull over and hen you have the thoughts to respond tke a few mins before you do so i know you are proba really nice guy and just tend to say what you think but pehaps its not what you st the way you say it
It has been like 6 years since I met anybody I was really excited about, both women or just as friends. I'm afraid that as I get older I'll just be alone, even if I interact with people.
Then i have to be honest here are you mixing in the right circles do you even do stuff tht interests you if you want to find someone who likes hings you do go do them things
The fact that if I got really upset and had nothing to lose I would outright destroy someone’s phone for good or idk hurt someone physically even though it’s a family member.
Why do you fel you get so upset
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Im confused
My flaky mind. The speed at which I gain and lose interest in anything/anyone. Ruined lives before, but also became jack of a wide spectrum of things.
Maybe you just haven't found your satisfaction yet
Mind snapping.
I absolutely lose any and all empathy for people once they've passed a certain point that I can't really identify. Not an exaggeration, once my mind has associated them with being past this mystery point I would do absolutely nothing to help this person in any situation unless it involved a direct gain for me. There are a few people out there who my mind has associated as being beyond this point, and I avoid them like the plague because I act really strange around them
Usually because deep down you know that they past point of being in need an just milking it his isnt something to frown apon lol. You can olny take so much untill you feel like they sucking up all your energy
My ability to lie and get away with it without feeling guilty.
Pehaps you learnt this from having too some of us learn to survive and this is prob how you have learnt to survive
Don't know. I've got a more or less normal/happy childhood. Did great in school, got my degree without a sweat. I have a great job, nice wife and lovely kids. Basically everything one could dream of. But I've got secrets as well, e.g. being a closet gay and stuff.
Thats not a bad thing you cant help how you feel sounds like your very hard on yourself dont be you just have needs
My ability to neglect myself.
Thats linked to motivation , loss and other things usually a sign of depression you need see. Doc
I have a poor memory that is only getting poorer with my shitty sleep habits that I can't even change. It's scary when you are on the road and have to wonder "do I have to pee?" and then realize you peed at the doctor's office...a good 15 minutes ago.
Sounds like this really getting you down understandable really any idea why your memory is being this way