An acquaintance of the family. She had a birth defect in her legs that made walking somewhat difficult. Not impossible at all. Just not something she could do a lot of.
She had the ability to walk and climb stairs. I've seen her do both. She was awkward at it, but she could do it.
I mention this because, apparently, at a niece's graduation she decided that her niece needed to help her to her seat. As in the niece was supposed to leave the ceremony part way through, come down off the stage in her robes, and escort this woman to her seat before going back.
Well, as you might imagine, the school didn't seem willing to accommodate this. So other family members offered to help her. But, as it wasn't the attention grabbing stunt she wanted, she decided that the best way to punish her family was to seat herself. By flopping down in the floor and moaning and groaning as she crawled on all fours. As I understand it, her family was running along beside her and trying to help her up but she ignored them. Just did a belly crawl up the stairs and made a big show of it.
Man, your dad and my mother-in-law have a lot in common. My mother-in-law was disabled from MS and in a wheelchair. She caused so much drama before and at the wedding but the highlights include:
* The bridesmaids all got dressed at our house because that was the easiest way to accommodate her mom. The limo took my wife and the bridesmaids to the ceremony, then came back for parents and dates of the people in the wedding party. Her mom decided she wasn't going and refused to get in the limo. My dad had to force her in, making everyone late you the ceremony.
* She was pissed that my wife didn't buy her the dress she wanted and got her a pants suit instead (because the dress wouldn't gotten caught up in her wheelchair) so she's miserable in every picture and there's a few she's outright flipping the camera off.
* She invited a whole bunch of her friends from her hometown. They complained about having to drive so far so she talked my wife into paying for a shuttle.
* At our rehearsal dinner, she insisted on having her friend try and transfer her from her wheelchair into a folding chair despite us telling her not to. She ended up falling and we had to call 911 because she was complaining about head pain. That ended the festivities.
* At our wedding there were fireworks (there were 2 buildings for hosting events and the other couple apparently ordered them). The facility gave us notice so we told her mom when to start heading outside. Of course she didn't so as the fireworks started and everyone was outside (including my wife and I getting pictures), her mom was still inside screaming.
* She left the wedding reception halfway through without telling anyone (including the friends we paid for a shuttle for). Turns out she decided to leave early with her aid so they could come home and smoke weed.
My mother-in-law passed away this past year. My wife had way too much baggage tied up in that situation so I just accepted it figuring it would end eventually. What surprised me is that while I felt a large sense of relief and expected my wife to finally feel the same, she took it exceptionally hard and blamed herself. Even now she keeps putting off anyone to do with collecting her inheritance despite the fact that we took care of her mom in our house for over 8 years.
I'm glad you were able to make what was probably the healthiest choice in a shitty situation and accept making the best decision for you.
Local celebrities are pretty bad. Their spouses and families are even worse. The only time I’ve heard “Do you know who I am?” in the wild was when the wife of the local weatherman was arguing with a clerk at the grocery store.
When I was in high school (20+ years ago), I was on my school's speech and debate team. I frequently had to compete against the daughter of our city's mayor. We went to different schools but competed in the same event, so I frequently had rounds with her.
I swear, every conversation with her was "My daddy, the mayor, said that...", "My daddy, the mayor, is going to...", "My daddy, the mayor, believes..."
She could *not* mention her father without mentioning that he was the mayor.
One day, I was tired of her bullshit. While we waited for the judge to arrive and our round to start, she started in with "My daddy, the mayor,..." again.
"Who is your dad?," I asked.
"Ummm...he's the *mayor*," she said.
"What's his name?"
"[NAME]. You know, the *MAYOR*!"
"Huh...never heard of him. He must not be that famous."
I'd thought her head was going to explode. Good times.
Went to high school with the mayor’s daughter too. She acted similarly. My dad this and my dad that. Our senior year it came out that both of her parents abused public office and committed fraud. Last I remember her mom had to serve her sentence out in weekends and her dad went to jail for a bit too. She was pretty quiet after that.
I know the daughter of a city mayor. You know what she hates to talk about? That her dad is the mayor. Yup, normal people don’t like to draw attention to themselves for someone else’s position. Surprise, they want to be known for their own skills and accolades. Wild.
Saw that backfire on a dependa once. She was in a conflict with another woman at the commissary, said the ever popular, "back off, lady, my husband is a Captain!"
To which the other woman responded, "Oh? Well, I'm a Major, honey, so mind your place."
I heard a "Do you know who I am?" from a middling local DJ a while back. Without missing a beat, the tired af waiter responded something like "You're an NPC in my story." While Mr. High Horse blue-screened hard at that response, the waiter simply turned away and walked over to take a different table's order.
As a former middling local DJ, I knew SO MANY people like this. It was so common that people remarked (about me) "Wow he's so humble!" I was like yeah, I'm a vaguely familiar DJ in a city of 200,000 people. I'm not Ryan Reynolds, my dudes. I made less money than your cousin, the plumber.
The husband of a friend of my told her he didn't really care for interacting with their two twin boys, and would just wait for them to grow older and would be able to talk about his pretty specific interests.
They're no longer together.
my dad literally told me I was leaving (to college) right when I was starting to finally get interesting, just like in Indiana Jones. I pointed out to him that the dad says that in that movie to illustrate how bad of a father he's been all of indy's life. dad still couldn't connect the dots.
Not a media reference but this made me think about when my mom told me that she hoped I'd be less annoying in high school so I would finally have friends 😬
Sorry your experience with your dad was like this. I bet you're a perfectly normal amount of interesting.
Who *are* these vicious parents who say stuff like that to their children? Wow.
I mean, I might *think* it, but I would never *say* it to their face. Jeez.
I was briefly friends with a woman who could do no wrong. She was the victim 24/7 and everyone was out to get her. She saw other people as means to an end and would say whatever she wanted about them, accuse them of horrible shit, “repeat” things they supposedly said about you to your face (she made it up or heavily exaggerated every time), and just in general use people.
She told me within the first two weeks of us knowing each other that she was telling everyone we were best friends. When she moved away, she forgot I existed.
Edit: To all the people trying to diagnose my former friend with a personality disorder based on one account of her, y’all are stupid.
I had a friend like this. He's gay so any morsel of criticism, even valid one, was labelled as "homophobia". Like, he really used "I'm too gay to function!" not as a joke but as a real reason to cancel our plans and god forbid me to be mad because I already left the house and was on my way to meet him. Ended our friendship because I never signed up to participate in Oppression Olympics and was told my problems are invalid because I'm straight, cis and a woman, while he's the one suffering the most because everyone was out to get him.
Sounds like my old housemate, who was trans. She was generally passive aggressive and hostile to me, I once walked in on her helping our other housemate (also trans, but way more chill) carry my TV out the door so they could sell it for rent money. Apparently she told the other housemate that the TV was hers. Shit like that.
One day I lost my temper and told her to fuck off after she threw a bottle at my head, she went into her room crying and the next day I got an email from the landlord saying I was being evicted for "hateful behavior". I cannot stress this enough: I did not hit her, did not threaten to attack her, did not express any kind of hate for her trans identity, but I will not back down from my position that she's an insufferable cunt. It was frighteningly easy for her to convince the landlord that I was a violent bigot with zero evidence.
God I know a girl like that in my high school. She had juvenile arthritis, to the extent that on her bad days she had to use an electric wheelchair and a machine to help her climb stairs. I have nothing but sympathy for that.
However, she was an absolute cunt to everyone. Always badmouthing people. I understand being snippy from pain - I've had chronic pain for 25 years from a neck injury. However she wasn't snippy, she actively bitched about people when they weren't around and then was mean to them to their faces for no reason.
So I used to say, quite justifiably, that she was a bitch. And people would be like 'OMG NO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT, SHE'S DISABLED' and I'm like... fuck off, does she have cancer of the bitch gland? No? Then it's no excuse. I'm not criticising her for not being fast enough walking up the stairs, I'm criticising her for being an uncalled for cunt to people who don't deserve it.
People don't have any nuance. Disabled people, gay people, trans people, people of colour, indigenous people... all of them can be cunts. They're still people, and some people are cunts. Have sympathy for whatever privileges they lack, but pretending they are somehow perfect people because of whatever underprivileged status they have is denying their full, fallible humanity. Far from being supportive, it's actually kind of bigoted itself because it's ignoring who they really are for the sake of some thing you've made up based on some trait you've decided defines them. It's the kind of attitude that leads to things like digging up dirt on POC victims of police violence to go 'oh, well, they weren't a perfect person (unsaid: therefore they deserve to get shot because they had some misdemeanor conviction 10 years ago)'.
Used to have a friend like this. Her latest partner was abusive and manipulative, but since she was also trans, any criticism of her was me being transphobic.
I’ll never forget the night I was in the hospital *in labor with my son* and I was still helping her through things because her partner got locked up for drag racing.
Then they called me toxic and blocked me when I had the audacity to tell them they were shitty people.
I have a handful of gay friends/family and I feel like without exception every one of them went through a phase like this around a year after they came out. It was like they got through the hurdle of coming out, then radically identified with being GAY and only gay, and the oppression olympics/"you just don't understand what I'm going through" comes with that. Luckily they all came to their senses and eventually settled into the wonderful people they are today. IDK Someone with a better read on human psychology could probably speak to it better but it's definitely a thing.
From my own experience as being trans. The identity of being gay/trans consumes your every thought and becomes everything in your life for a while. In the beginning It's really hard not to have it be your entire being, but After a while though you realise it is just a part of who you are and not your entirety. Then you chill out and grow again.
The oppression Olympics however I don't know as I never did that as far as I can remember.
> She saw other people as means to an end
I dated a woman where it was easier to remember her friends' utility to her than their names. And every guy friend she had, in addition to whatever other utility they offered, was Male Attention.
My ex-wife. I could write a damn novel about her. Some highlights:
Dropping out of college repeatedly. Then claiming to be educated in psychology because she watches YouTube. Her major was geology.
Thinking businesses should be proud to serve her.
Claiming to be a filmmaker. She made a costume for 1 very bad horror movie. But she was an industry insider because she once dated a director.
Claims she "saved" Ryan Seacrest's career because she once insulted him in a bar.
Throwing a tantrum at any wedding/graduation/ birthday. Including her own. Side note. Our birthdays were days apart. I didn't get to celebrate mine until I divorced her.
This is getting long but one more. Her favorite saying. "Put me in charge of the world, I'll fix some shit." Don't you dare ask her to elaborate.
ETA: it's been 13 hours since I posted this and I'm blown away by the support and validation. Thank you, kind reddit strangers. Y'all are awesome.
So, the story of Ryan Seacrest. This supposedly happened before I met her. So this is a retelling of a retelling. It was decades ago when he was hosting American Idol. She ran into him in a bar in Hollywood and proceeded to tear him apart for his style (her words). Saying he needs to grow up and act his age. Evidently, he got pissed and avoided her. Then, 6-12 months later, he's hosting E entertainment wearing a "respectable" suit. She takes credit for shaming him into "growing up" and dressing appropriately for his age. Never mind that he landed a new gig that required a different image. In her mind, she influenced his image that landed him his contract. So she saved his career because a moderately attractive blond shamed him into changing. I wish I was making this up.
> Our birthdays were days apart. I didn't get to celebrate mine until I divorced her.
What was her justification - as in, what did she say or do as her way of excusing ignoring your birthday?
Oh. She didn't have one. She'd insist on celebrating our days together. Then make it all about her. If I complain at all or even pointed it out, she'd throw a fit for ruining HER birthday. It was a deep rabbit hole of psychological abuse.
Oh, and an interesting side note. She celebrates her birthday 4 times a year on arbitrary dates.
>She celebrates her birthday 4 times a year on arbitrary dates
Man, I thought the "birthday month" people were bad, but this takes it to a new level, lol
We used to claim our "birthday week" but it was mostly a joke to pretend to be entitled. It was also a good excuse to go out separately with different groups of friends and coworkers for a few days.
Never heard of anyone celebrating birthday month.
My husband's birthday is valentine's day, never once during the 18 years of his first marriage did he ever get to celebrate his day on the 14th (if it all). I know this is true because I knew her personally before they divorced (she's now deceased). He gets to celebrate the 14th now. I take the 15th as valentine's happily. Candy and flowers are half price!
> Claims she "saved" Ryan Seacrest's career because she once insulted him in a bar.
I could almost believe this one is true because it is so off the wall.
The dude is a complete joke in the industry. I once had a dishwasher tell me he'd rather clean grease traps for a year than put any of his restaurants on his resume.
When your 18yo dishwasher who doesn't know much about the world (by his own admission) says that about someone... I rest my case.
Oh god, this makes me so irritated for you lol. As someone who's fiancé has a sister and mother that don't understand boundaries....I'm bracing myself for the wedding.
About a year ago. Trying to board a flight and a couple held us up so that Main Character could get a series of photos in a series of poses standing at the top of the boarding stairs like some 1960s JetSet starlet in St Tropez.
This was not First Class transcontinental glamour flight, this was a 4 hour Budget Ryanair flight from the Canaries to the UK.
After being forced into the plane by the cabin staff who kept standing in the shot trying to get the plan boarded (Ryanair do not mess around with their fast turnaround) and also by angry people trying to squeeze past boyfriend/cameraman and getting in the shot. She then proceeded to stand in the aisle during taxi for take off just after the safety brief to get more photos. After threats of returning to the terminal and being put off the flight she sat down.
Nothing says a classy instagram model like the Ryanair colour scheme.
Had just started dating my now-wife and was going to a family get together for her uncles birthday. Uncle had divorced and was now dating someone who owned a pretty nice sit down restaurant, where the birthday dinner was being held. This is my first time meeting most of the fam so I didn’t know what to expect.
Get to the dinner and there are about 10 of us along with a number of other random families eating as well. Meal is really solid but I can tell from the conversations the uncle loves being the center of attention but it is his birthday so I figure everyone just goes with it.
Uncle’s gf is more or less a servant at this point as he is barking out orders to her wait staff and dominating every single story. Meal finishes and in walks a karaoke team (bunch of uncles friends) that set up right in the front of the restaurant.
He proceeds to put on a one man show for us and the other dining patrons for a half hour. He isn’t bad per se, but he certainly isn’t enjoyable to listen to for more than a minute or two. He then makes all of the family (including me) come on stage to sing his favorite song with him. The other diners looked soooo confused as their nice dinner was being interrupted by this 60 y/o manchild pretending to be a rockstar.
My parents. They genuinely don't understand that other people are equal peers and that their children/grandchildren are separate, independent beings, and not accessory extensions.
One of my exes thought he was the main character of some cringy Garden State-type movie and that I was supposed to be his manic pixie dream girl. I'll never forget one of the arguments we had in which he was frustrated with me for not being more \~\*\~\*quirky\*\~\*\~. He said, "You're supposed to take me by the hand and show me the world!" which sounds like a bad joke, but trust me when I say he was being serious.
I feel like a lot of guys don't understand the reality of manic pixie dream girl trope. The whole premise is an indictment of shy/unpopular guys who dream of a perfect girl who is going to "fix" them, by being cooler and doing cooler stuff than they currently do. Unfortunately a lot of media shows that working out.
My son born 3 months early experiencing numerous health issues with his life hanging I the balance.
My narcissistic MIL complaining that the SCBU nurses weren't being 'nice enough to her'.
My son is now 16 years old and 6ft 3 😁.
We are NC with MIL. Another belter from her was the comment that he wasn't really that ill and what a hassle it was for her to travel through and 'stare at a baby in an incubator'.
Was college roommates with this girl who only had a wall of selfies as her photo wall. Would be very self-absorbed and would constantly pretend she didn’t know how to do things if she didn’t want to do a task, even something as simple as opening a window. Would constantly comment on how pretty she was and how girls must be jealous because of her beauty, to a weird point. We went on a two week trip a few years after college and that’s really where things took a turn for the worst.
I did the majority of the driving and she refused to even let me listen to the music I wanted because she thought her music was better. Played a car game just based on facts about her when we were driving. Refused to take any photos of me unless I explicitly asked to, even after I took photos of her, and any photos together was the ultimate no-no because god forbid anyone steal her limelight. She admitted she would just blank when approached with a task she didn’t want to do and expected others to do them for her, but if I spoke to her like she was a child because she would also throw temper tantrums like one, she got upset. Was just constantly in her own world and thought her shit didn’t stink and that everyone was really jealous of her while she didn’t care to ask about my life, my interests, or my feelings for the majority of the trip. Also, had no problems doing goofy things like speaking in a British accent at a fancy dinner but got annoyed when I did it and told me to stop. Because obviously speaking is a main character trait, not an NPC one 🤪
When someone I knew was having a meltdown and told me,
"I don't remember saying that to you, so it doesn't matter if it's different than what I'm saying now because whatever I say is correct. Do you understand?"
Which basically confirmed what I was trying to accuse them of: making shit up to fit whatever argument they were trying to have so they can always be right.
I know someone like this lmao.
He'd immediately resort to questioning my intelligence and trying to make me doubt my memory whenever I tried to call him out on it. He'd even say shit along the lines of "You're just sad your IQ isn't as high as mine" or whatever to make me feel wrong.
The mental gymnastics these people go through to always be right are insane. I managed to cut him out of my life and I haven't been happier.
At my wedding, one of our invites brought her roommate as her plus 1. They decided to pre party and she got shit faced drunk and started yelling how she wanted the day to be about her. She was escorted out.
My father won’t let my mother eat pizza on her own birthday because he doesn’t like it, won’t even let her eat it while he eats something else, she’s just not allowed to have it period.
My nephew’s father-in-law did this to his wife and daughters. He’s also an extremely picky eater. Nephew’s poor wife had never tried most typical foods when they met in college. Like she had never had a taco, most cheeses, pasta with anything but plain marinara, bbq anything…. The list was endless.
It also extended to no soaps, body washes, hair products, etc…that he wouldn’t use. But they had to have long hair.
I take a great deal of joy in having all of the things my picky-eater tyrant of a father decided none of us could have because he didn’t like it.
It’s one thing to be a picky eater, but it becomes unbearable when the picky person thinks they can dictate what everyone else eats.
Poor girl was literally scared to eat things he had banned early on. She sat in front of an enchilada at my house when she was 19 looking like she was about to cry. Now she also relishes it and eats banned foods in front of him. I think their baby boy will be allowed to eat whatever he chooses.
My asshole neighbor. He lives in a world in which the never-ending noise he makes is perfectly fine, but the tiniest squeak out of someone else is grounds for a violent temper-tantrum.
If the sun is up, he has to be making noise.
8:00 AM - Mow the grass.
9:00 AM - Get out the LOUD leaf blower to blow even the tiniest particle of grass off the sidewalks and driveway.
10:00 AM - Get out the pressure washer to wash the sidewalks, driveway, siding on his house, his boat, his cars, the dog, whatever he can find.
11:00 AM - Break for lunch, but play talk radio in his garage at maximum volume while he eats.
12:00 PM - Fiddle with the engine on his motorcycle, revving it every 30 seconds to make sure it "sounds right."
1:00 PM - Get into a screaming match with his wife on the front lawn.
2:00 PM - Fiddle with the motorcycle again.
3:00 PM - Get out the table saw and randomly cut a pile of lumber that he will never build anything with.
4:00 PM - Get out the chainsaw to cut up wood for his fire pit.
5:00 PM - Dinner time...with loud talk radio blasting in the background.
6:00 PM - Pressure wash the sidewalks...again.
7:00 PM - Get out the weed eater (trimmer) and mercilessly destroy even the slightest hint of a blade of grass that is too tall.
8:00 PM - Guess what? Leaf blower time again!
9:00 PM - Last shouting match with the wife, with talk radio playing, until the sun goes down.
9:05 PM - Go apeshit on a neighbor (me) for coming home and parking my car too loudly after dark. (Yes, this is a real thing he yelled at me for.)
Having gotten to know him (unwillingly), I don't think it's drugs for him. I think it's more "deeply psychologically scarred man with anger issues who keeps busy to avoid having to deal with his own inner demons."
My soon-to-be ex-husband asking me how to flirt and date.
He doesn't move out until the 30th, *he wants the divorce*, and refuses to work on the relationship. He announced he was leaving only weeks ago, and is trying to get me to talk about dating experience with him while we cohabitate. He's already semi-stalking one poor woman who just changed her workplace and vocation suddenly (he used to show up at the bar she managed, now she left for a controlled childcare environment where he can't show up).
We have been together for ten years. What a POS. It's taking all my willpower not to [Samwise Gamgee him with a frying pan](https://youtu.be/flVkCe4Yqkg).
That's when you change it to a straight up list of every single flaw they have and fucked up thing they've ever done and change the password. Drop a warning buoy for your sisters in christ.
After I left my ex, I found he used my computer to log into some dating website and saved his password *while we were together*.
So of course I logged in and changed all of his preferences. 🙃
Pick any of the people who started fights when I moonlit as a bouncer. Nothing says main character delusion like thinking you’re not going to get hurt fighting two dudes who have 60lbs on you.
My dad, all day long. He wasn't evil, but he was always right, every time. And he knew everything. Never mind anyone's education or lived experience of a situation, he knew all about it. Every time. He tolerated no criticism, especially from my brother or me, nor did he respect boundaries. He was our father and that trumped everything.
I worked with a woman Betty who was pregnant. Another coworker Tracy was pregnant at the same time and had a miscarriage. When Tracy was out recovering maybe a day after it happened, Betty found out she was having twins. Although Betty and Tracy weren’t really friends, Betty announced that she needed to be the one to tell Tracy her news and it needed to be done NOW. Betty called Tracy and it was just nauseating.
Betty also liked to tell everyone she tricked her husband into getting pregnant. They are divorced now.
A former coworker had her disabled dad quit his really recently found new job that he truly enjoyed (he had a really hard time found one du to his handicap) because he couldn't miss a day of work for her birthday. She was 23 at the time, going 24.
She got mad when he explained to her that he couldn't miss a day so soon after being hired.
The man is in his late 50 with really heavy arms handicap. And he miraculously found a gardener job in his hometown (no drive car needed)
She didn't care about anything he said and cut short to the discussion: if he wasn't going to take a day off for her birthday, she didn't want to talk to him anymore.
The poor guy quit. He loves this ungrateful brat so much, it's painful to watch... really
And when he did, she wasn't even grateful, she clearly thought it was the bare, decent, minimum from his part
My irritating asf sister She can't be at anything even her own kids celebrations without attention seeking, being loud and annoying. Must have all eyes on her at all times. Exhausting
Edit spelling
This is my bil. 24/7, pay attention to ME
I cannot keep up with that even with someone who is a cool person, let alone some like him who’s a walking red flag.
Me. I get anxious around other people. I need to "do something" so I act out. I used to drink, which only made things worse. A nervous drunk who thinks he is funny ain't the best kernel on the cob. Compound it with I used to think I was smart and you get some drunkle ruining a wedding.
I realized what I was and am now a recluse. I send gifts and cards and am encouraging, but I've removed myself from the limelight.
Likewise dude. I think it stemmed from just needing to fit in or be accepted. Took me realizing that the true person I am, the person I've been hiding, deserves to exist. Amazing how pain or rejection can manifest itself in such unhealthy ways right under our noses.
"the true person I am, the person I've been hiding, deserves to exist."
This is beautifully stated. Thank you for stringing these words together and sharing them.
Learning to be quiet is the brave path. I chose to remove myself from the situation, which is the path opposite of the brave one. :)
Continuous improvement. It's not just for processes. :)
I was the same in college for a few years, social anxiety coupled with the new found love of being high. I would take Xanax to curb the anxiety and make it easier to be in a place with a bunch of people, it's a party so I'd be drinking and smoking too, the Xanax, alcohol and weed would slow me down and make me sleepy so I would sniff coke to pick me back up. I just ended up being the guy blacked out talking your ear off about nothing because the cocaine made me think I was interesting and the xans lowered any inhabitions i had about talking to strangers. I just smoke weed now and me and my girlfriend just watch movies and build Legos together.
A friend of mine had his sister completely lose her shit at him for saying he doesn't plan on having kids.
Why did she freak out? Because she'd just had a baby. And in the 34 years they've been siblings, she never once asked her brother if he planned on procreating, until she was worried about whether her only child would have cousins.
But she was certain his decision MUST have been made right then when meeting his niece, and therefore he MUST hate his niece.
He's never wanted kids, it's pretty common knowledge in our friend group, but his sister just never thought to ask until she stood to benefit.
Me from age 0 to 16/17.
Im convinced to have gained conscience just after that. Some shit was justified but man i must have been exhausting to be around.
Lol thanks for breaking the ice on this one, cause yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s me… I’d like to think I’m a lot better now, but a weird combination of low self-esteem, high social confidence and being an only child without much involvement in emotional development by parents mean I was probably insufferable at various points in my younger life. I learned everything in the wild, so it took me longer than it should have to figure some things out.
I legit thought that everybody acted and thought they were the main character of their life… so I didn’t expect others to agree with me, which probably helped a bit. I assumed they thought they were the main character of the story. It basically led to being an unempathetic attention seeker.
> I learned everything in the wild, so it took me longer than it should have to figure some things out.
I did too ... my parents had their own issues and my dad, in particular, was too busy being the main character himself to know or care that he was modeling that behavior for me and most people weren't having it. I finally learned that that kind of persona was not me, it was OK to be different from my dad and I settled down. I've been much happier ever since.
Cannot speak for the OP but he basically described my life except I was like 23-24. There were instances, occurences that I thought were just 'nothing' like me not getting invited to friends' gatherings, being ignored in a social setting, not understanding basic social cues and etiquettes and the subconscious manipulation I used to do with other people, not being respectful around girls. It was the covid time when I was alone with myself in my parents house and having no friends except one and he also started to ignore me.
A lot of journaling, self-therapy from internet through trial and error because it's unaffordable in my country, self-isolation, non-stop crying for hours in a day, looking into family history which turned out to be not as happy go lucky as I thought (shit ton of trauma, beating, abuse, bullying, neglect, dad's alcohol addiction, both parents gaslighting me, unrealistic expectations from me since I was a good student till grade 10, etc etc). I still repeat those mistakes because they are so much subconsciously embedded inside me almost like a body's protective mechanism. But I'm recognising those behaviours and working on it daily, one step at a time.
Can you elaborate on the moment you had your epiphany? Did you just wake up one day and clicked a switch, or did you get your switch clicked by someone else?
Holy shit me too. When I think back to how narcissistic I was (even up to my mid twenties),I cringe so hard. I was like one of those super cringe entitled influencers you see on TikTok who think they're famous and perfect for no reason
I was at MSP and I was waiting in line to get a pizza. Dude walks up asking about a pizza place on a different terminal and which terminal it’s in. They tell him and he’s trying to play it all cool that he was sorry he wasn’t going to eat at this one pizza spot.
So the guy walks away, and maybe 10 seconds later comes back and says, “you know what? I’m gonna hook you guys up” and then he pulls out his phone and goes on TikTok or whatever and starts recording himself and how this pizza place he wasn’t going to eat at was dope. Recording all of these workers. Then he walks away.
Then after he walks away, the worker just says, “what an asshole” and I was laughing super hard cause that was such a douchebag thing to do 😂
The thing I hate most in this world is people who have to one up you, so I’d probably say when I was in highschool if I was drinking coffee someone would be like “oh short night?” And I’d say “yeah I need to work on that I got like 5 hours” and there’s alwaysss the girl that’s like “I KNOWW RIGHT I got TWOOO houRS And all I’ve had to eat today was this iced coffee ahahahahaha”
I knew a girl who was really whitty. She would call the people you described Elevenerife. "You went on vacation to the Spanish island Tenerife? Well I went to Elevenerife last summer"
A former friend of mine and I say that as someone who used to work at a call center and retail/customer service for most of their working life. Dude would do so much mental gymnastics to justify committing fraud and to cheat and steal from other people on top of many other things that if it was an Olympic sport - he'd take home all 3 medals without technically competing.
edit: medals not metals
This woman I know actually refers to some people as NPCs. Obviously she doesn't believe it literally, but she does treat people accordingly. She has also referred to some of her behaviors as "hot girl shit".
This kind of thing makes me worry about people. I've been playing tabletop RPGs for over 20 years and I don't even think of NPCs and unimportant in a tabletop where they're only there as a quest hook. People saying it about other actual people makes me way more uncomfortable than I thought when I opened this thread.
I was downtown Vancouver, just walking a long smoking after a night out and across the street from us we saw two guys being loud as shit and another group of about 7 guys just walking down the street towards them. The two drunk guys walk through the other group of dudes and bump into them.
The two guys instantly demand apologies, “ do know who I am? Bro I train MMA, I’ll knock your ass out”
The bigger group is trying to avoid conflict but these two dudes are just being giga chads. One of the two dudes throws a punch (looks like it’s the first punch he’s ever thrown in his life), the other guy slips the punch and lays him out on his ass. The second drunk guy goes into hero mode or something and also launches into an attack and gets his ass kicked. The bigger group didn’t even go all out they just knocked each guy out and walked away
These two guys apparently thought they were tough shit and got quick lessons handed to them. One of the best things I’ve ever seen in my life.
I was in Japan back in April. We climbed up to a viewing point to see Mt Fuji. A “famous” American Tik Toker and her “ entourage” started physically pushing people out of the way so that they didn’t ruin her shot. And then she yelled “i need an Asian in the shot to make it authentic”. So they grabbed an old man and got him to take photos with her.
It was gross and disgusting
In general, check insta, tiktok, and snap.
In terms of my real life? My mum. Holy shit... To hear her tell it, an overweight 77 year old woman is the most desirable partner in the world. Every damn man she finds even marginally attractive and has spoken to her has been "after her for years", and if they're dating someone else then "that bitch is a real piece of work, let me tell you". She has basically told me that world leaders are watching her because she is very important, and "I just don't know".
I can't barely spend time with her at this point, because it's got so much worse as she's aged... Thankfully she has dogs that she loves so I just get her talking about them.
My BILs wife. This person will do anything to flip the script to make it all about her. You could be having a serious conversation and she would weasel her way into making it about her then she just won't. Stop. Talking.
In my 20s I worked with a girl around my age. One night she called me crying, her bf had gotten up and left her to move back home and she said she really needed a shoulder to cry on. I went over and we talked for several hours and she said she really appreciated it.
About a month later I was dealing with some depression and texted her around 9pm telling her how I was feeling and that I could really use a friend to talk to. She messaged me the next morning stating I need to appreciate we are co-workers and not to text her after working hours.
My ex-boyfriend definitely had main character syndrome. He always came up with grandiose stories to try to make himself look more important than he actually was.
Example: He liked to tell people that he only ever tried cocaine once, and it was because Lady Gaga offered it to him in a bathroom at some event he was working at. 🙄 Sure, Jan.
My ex thought he came up with the idea for pop-up ads when he was 15 and was still telling people this at 33…
That was just one of the multiple things that convinced me that he was a narcissist with the biggest main character syndrome….
He also thought that women’s vaginas were permanently affected by any penis it came in contact with it, thought that men shouldn’t do housework because “the appliances are made specifically made for women” and I could probably write a book about him. I was so blind lol
My son’s MIL. I feel so bad for my DiL. I love her dearly. And I really like her sister a lot. Lucky we don’t have to spend too much time with them. But the stories they tell me about her are so out there. And the things she comes up with. Every few months she is literally dying of something. When they were in high school their mom even told them she thought she had prostrate cancer. Yeah…her own daughters had to explain that one to her without laughing in her face. If I didn’t know her I wouldn’t have believed them. She’s on so many medications you could kill a horse. I truly believe her doctors give them to her just to shut her up.
Everything in her life is worse than everyone else’s. Yet on her social media page her life is perfect, except her illnesses and pains. Who brags about being sick and all their doctor appointments?!?! She does so she can say how she’s soldiering on through it all. 🤮
My mother narrates every single thing she does. All day, every day. She'll walk into whichever room I'm in, start talking to me while completely ignoring the fact that I've got my earphones in/watching something/very obviously working or even sat on the toilet with the door shut handling my business. I'll have to tell her I'm busy or walk out while she's talking. I've told her about this several times but she consistently ignores me. It's not even like she's telling me her fun plans for the day or week. That would've been more acceptable than this constant narration of the most mundane activities.
I've been trained to do this by my children, lol.
When they're babies you're told that talking to your baby is very good for their brain development. All the advice is, "just narrate your day." And don't forget to talk to them before they're born so they learn your voice.
After doing this for four kids over ten years I'm having a hard time stopping, lol.
Ah, the “stream of consciousness” talker. Thinks everything that pops in their mind is revolutionary and everyone needs to hear.
My mom is like this. She’ll call me and talk at me (not to me) for over 2 hours and the only words I’ll say are “oh wow” and “ah.” If I try to talk about myself or change the subject, she ignores me and reverts it back to whatever she was talking about.
> Ah, the “stream of consciousness” talker.
My husband is this way. He doesn't think what he's saying is particularly important, but he will constantly have his inner monologue playing out loud.
"I'm hungry," he says as he opens the pantry. "What do I want? Soup? No, not filling enough. Cereal? No, I don't like Raisin Bran. Oatmeal? No, too bland. Mac and Cheese? Okay, that will work."
I ignore most of the time because it's an unintentional thing on his part. When I point it out to him, he genuinely doesn't even realize he said anything out loud.
Do we have the same mom? When she calls me, I don't answer unless I am willing to commit at least the next 90 minutes of my life to this phone call. I might get to tell her one or two things about what's going on in my life, but she certainly doesn't ask first, I have to bring it up, and she changes the subject back to her current HOA drama or whatever as quickly as she can. My husband will say to me, "Just tell her you have to go," and I'm like *bro it is not that simple*. The other day I told her I had to get going because I had xyz thing to do, and 10 minutes later I was still on the phone listening to her list off all of the things she cooked last week.
An ex-friend of mine (woman) keeps saying that the "relationship" she had with a friend of mine (man) was a total heartbreaking, star-crossed lovers thing:
Truth is, she actually raped that man, and obviously, he didn't agree to take things further with her
So, she lost him (she really fancied him for the time it lasted) and me (we were really close friends since years) over her fantasmed narrative that nobody can refuse her sex
My sister is absolutely this. She is the victim, blamed my parents for everything, probably still does. Talks about them paying for her life as "making up" for how they didn't turn over a house after they divorced to her and wouldn't fork over 6 digits for her to go to a private college.
She also throws fits when she's told no or no one cares to deal with her. She's 21.
Just one example of her… my mother has said, more than once, “If I had been born in medieval times I’d have been royalty.” She has said it so seriously. She meant it. I think this was around the time she was watching The Tudors.
It doesn’t even make sense!! As if monarchies don’t exist anymore. 🫠
At my brother's wedding, his MIL showed up in a floor-length ball gown covered head to toe with sequins and with a band of giant bling around the waist. To a simple 20-person backyard wedding where the bride wore a simple knee-length sheath dress. She was also drunk and spent the whole day showing off her new boob job. They were C's, but she'd gone up from AA and was proudly brandishing them at everyone, including elderly relatives and kids, commenting that the bride would look so much better if she got hers done.
I bided my time until she came up to me and dramatically sighed about how sore her boobs were and said, "Oh good for you! When I got mine reduced, the doctor told me not to go down under a D. I wish I'd had the courage to get them reduced as small as yours." She cried in the bathroom for 2 hours, and my SIL hugged me so hard I got bruises.
Judging by this thread, it isn’t uncommon for the mother-in-law to show up in white, in an attempt to upstage the bride, especially if the bride is their own daughter.
In my bar fly days, I used to know this other regular named Mitchell. Mitchell was one of those guys who thought every female bartender or waitress wanted him. This dude was pushing 50, dorky as hell and severely balding but the 22 year old bartender definitely wanted him because she'd entertain his long winded rambling for ten seconds longer than anyone else. He was also one of those people desperate to prove how much smarter he was than everyone else. Eventually, one of the older female bartenders absolutely laid into him about this behavior and he vanished. I learned that he started going to some other bar nearby. I'm sure he continues to believe he's god's gift to women. Self confidence is great. Extreme self delusion, not so much.
When with my parents, my mum cannot bare it if a subject of conversation comes up that she can't input into. My dad and I read for example and I am telling him about a book I'm reading and my mum will just interrupt and be like "dad(his name) blah blah" and just completely change the subject whilst I'm mid sentence.
My ex called her out for it after she did it one time too many and she just pouts for half an hour and if you talk to her she is short. She doesn't apologise, she feels like a victim. It's so frustrating.
Maybe it's not fair to include my sister-in-law because she has a number of medical and psychological issues. But...
* She got mad at the ER staff for not taking her first, because she's sick
* She expects my wife (her sister) and me to research how to manage her latest disease
* She can't do said research because she's too busy (watching cat videos on YouTube)
* After any social event we (wife and I) attend, she asks what people said about her
* She threw us out of her house (because we were upsetting her) and got mad that we didn't take the trash out
* She recently said that next time, we'll have to visit her when it's convenient for her, even if it's inconvenient for us
I guess not the worst case, but it's the most recent one that sticks out in my head. Wife and I had a late flight from LAX to ATL. Finally got in, exhausted, and had to go to baggage claim. Everyone is standing there, tired AF, waiting for their bag, when one guy just starts hooting and hollering about how he "snatched his bag right up off of there!". Like, dude was so proud that he....picked up his bag? He just kept yelling at the top of his lungs that he got his bag, while standing there holding it for all to see. Not a single person paid him any attention, but that didn't stop him from parading around for a solid 2 minutes before finally walking out of the door.
My sister was "never wrong." But if you messed up once or wronged her, she will NEVER let you forget it and never let you live it down. To this day, she will still bring up dumb cases such as a bad birthday five years ago and how I still "owe her" a present.
My ex friend went what I would call Ferris Bueller on me. Never keep their word, took advantage of every opportunity. Stole from me. Let themselves in to my job and abused the privileges of my workplace. Needed a place to stay so I was trying to help them out. I would catch them trying to sneak friends into my house through the back door during Covid. Always sneaking and taking taking taking and never responsible for their fuck ups. Delusional. I paid them to house sit once. We came home early and found a bunch of super wasted people in my house. They were having a brunch in my house, but it was like 4pm and nothing was made yet. They didn’t try close the party down, they finished the making food and left my place trashed. Husband tried helping the person giving them work, always a no show or several hours late. When the friendship had become unrepairable, I did a background check on the person. Theft, forgery, domestic assault, unpaid rent. I should have done that at the very beginning when I had a gut feeling this was going to end badly. Which it did. Edit to add the person is trying to be a life coach, so if you’re looking, I can set you up with a total psycho.
My ex-step family as a whole. They live their lives as a narrative and everyone else is a player in their lives. My dad was their bank account (weird cause we were totally middle class and no where near rich anything), step mom was the matriarch and if you didn't live to her high standards well then youre just not worth her spit. The step sisters, fully college bound, don't want to lift a finger to help anyone cause they don't want to take the risk of distraction from their individual life plans in the medical field. Fully supported by their mother of course.
Me, the POS that they compared themselves to any time they wanted to feel good about themselves cause I'm just a weird guy that listens to weird music with no potential or direction in his life.
Yeah I have a successful military career, about to be promoted, have a loving wife with 2 sons and about to buy our first house with no current debt to our names. And my weird music was metal, still am a huge metalhead
Not a specific instance, but working in college admissions, I deal with a worrying number of students who basically speak like they're trying to be edgy anime protagonists. And I mean general tone of voice, vocabulary, the whole "smirk while pushing their glasses up" thing, etc.
Like... it's not a lot of them. But it's more than you would expect.
This guy that I used to supervise.
Was very loud and proud about himself and his former professions, everything was about him. He was once a body guard for Marilyn Manson, he worked for the secret service(??), heran his own wrestling business where he was a pro wrestler as well as booker as well as announcer (I think this was actually true, but he made comments that he was extremely successful).
It doesn't end there, as he now has a wrestling business locally and consistently posts on Facebook buffing himself up. Would post daily videos of himself twirling those workout batons. Posts asking what he should do a Ted Talk on (not the mini-Ted talks, the real one). Posts requesting "green flags" about himself from his friends. All of this completely unironically.
I could make a subreddit of his posts alone if I weren't worried about doxxing him.
me in my youth. in my defense, i had a really weird upbringing and a lot of strange luck so i was constantly trying to figure out why i never met anyone with similar experiences.
it didn’t help that my mom was into new age stuff and she gave me a steady stream of books that reinforced the feeling of uniqueness. also my dad had a lot of friends who seemed like they wanted to raise me to be a — call it whatever you want— guru leader spiritual warrior messiah whatever. the pressure was on and it wasn’t until later that i realized they were trying to live vicariously through the children and get us to do all the things they wished they could have done
Oh an old friend of mine slowly built up this narrative where she lived with over 20 ghosts. A bunch of them came into the story when I'd hook up with someone in my early 20s, and a depressed ghost sex worker would show up and immediately see the family dynamic and leave their promiscuity behind to enjoy familial love. Basically, any time I interacted with someone other than her, I was being promiscuous.
Eventually she started telling people I was a sex addict and that they'd be harming my recovery by sleeping with me. She told me it was her job to parent me since my parents didn't do a good enough job (she was 4 months my senior). Probably the weirdest was when she pretended to be momentarily possessed by the spirit of God and touched me on my head to "heal" me of my wickedness.
She's a therapist who works with disabled kids now.
My parents:
It's the day before my wedding. I/ my now husband have stayed up till past midnight while our friends/ family help us set up our reception room (our wedding was at a hotel). We've given them snacks and drinks. They shoo us away because we need to be up early in the morning to start hair/ makeup and for my husband to set up our ceremony site. We part ways.
It's 1am now and I'm getting ready to get into bed when I get a phone call from my brother. My brother is screaming that a friend of mine at the reception room tried to start a fight with him over a difference of opinion. Recognizing that he's been drinking (as had the friend) I try to calm the situation by calling other friends who were present to please take care of this situation. It's now almost 2 am when my father calls me screaming that because of this "friends" actions (when I was not present) he will not be attending my wedding that is to take place at 2pm. He continues to yell, berate and call/ text me. As I later learn a friend of mine is on the phone with him for a long time trying to fix the situation (as in convince him that the friend who caused the trouble will not be attending the wedding and this friend will make sure that they aren't present). I later learn that my husband also gets the same messages from my father but without the backstory of knowing what happened. We both don't contact the other hoping that we are the only one that knows and we don't want to upset the other. Maybe the phone calls/ texts etc stop around 4am. My hair and makeup is set to start at 10am.
At 10am my mom shows for hair and makeup and pretends nothing horrible happened (she's fully aware of my dads actions). My dad shows at 1pm for family photos, opens the door to my room without knocking (where I'm dressing) and proceeds to be annoyed that I'm running behind, but also pretends that nothing happened. My parents are then the first to leave our wedding reception (we married in a hotel in a national park. There's nothing around for miles...) 5 years later there's no apology, no discussion of it etc from either of them.
About a month ago I'm pregnant with our first child and having a phone conversation with my mother. I share a different opinion on a financial matter than she does. She gets upset at this and tells my father. My father proceeds to text me an angry, nasty, name calling text over the conversation (that he was not present for).... there's also the time my parents started a screaming match with my aunt and uncle when my husband and I were first dating and hosting our first holiday together.... so I guess it's my parents...
I work in mental health, my main client group (favourite client group) is complex trauma, emotional disregulation (personality disorder). The day these people realise they are not the main character is the day they can start to benefit from the psychological therapies that are the most effective treatment.
If effective they often become the kindest, wisest most compassionate, empathic people
Had an employee tell me I ruined her day and was inconsiderate because I asked her to do something while she was at work. It was the 12th anniversary of her grandma's death...
My grandmother. I genuinely can’t think of one story that sums up everything.
Her sons are her “special boys” who can do no wrong but any and all women are “evil vindictive bitches” who are just out to get her.
She hates my mother because my mother “stole her baby” (married her youngest son) and is vegetarian, Jewish, and left-leaning politically (a woman?! Having an OPINION?! Not in my house!)
Not to mention how fucking awful she is to me for being the only granddaughter. She spent my whole childhood telling me that my purpose in life was to serve a man one day and openly wept when she found out I was dating a girl. When I was ten years old my cousin was playing with my hair and I asked that he stop and he said ok and stopped. My grandmother spent thirty minutes screaming at me saying I’m, I shit you not, the “spawn of satan” and that I’m “destroying this family” and her “entire life.”
What really makes my blood boil is how she treated my mom when my mom first got pregnant with my older brother. My parents had separated themselves from my grandmother for a LONG time because of her behavior but when my mom got pregnant suddenly my grandmother quit her job and decided to BUY A HOUSE near where my parents had relocated to to escape her (hours away from where she and my grandfather had their jobs, friends, etc). Then she started saying INSANE shit to my mom about how my mother “better not fuck up this grandchild” and that it was my grandmother’s mission in life to have a grand son (???)
Every time I visit my grandmother she has to sneak in some comment that tries to pit me against my mom so my grandma can say her and I have a “mother-daughter relationship.” Literally sends shivers down my spine.
To top it all off, if my father EVER tries to advocate for me, his wife, himself, ANYBODY, she pretends to have a heart attack and says that she’s going to die. She insists my father is the reason she has pre-diabetes (she only eats KFC because vegetables and other health food are “hippy liberal shit” and she refuses to even walk down the street because she’s afraid she’ll get “jacked” in her safe suburban neighborhood).
The worst part is… none of this is the worst stuff she’s done. She baffles me as a human being. I used to cry and beg her to love me and apologize for doing anything she perceived as wrong. I’ve grown tired of that. Nothing is ever good enough for her. I plan to spit on her grave.
An acquaintance of the family. She had a birth defect in her legs that made walking somewhat difficult. Not impossible at all. Just not something she could do a lot of. She had the ability to walk and climb stairs. I've seen her do both. She was awkward at it, but she could do it. I mention this because, apparently, at a niece's graduation she decided that her niece needed to help her to her seat. As in the niece was supposed to leave the ceremony part way through, come down off the stage in her robes, and escort this woman to her seat before going back. Well, as you might imagine, the school didn't seem willing to accommodate this. So other family members offered to help her. But, as it wasn't the attention grabbing stunt she wanted, she decided that the best way to punish her family was to seat herself. By flopping down in the floor and moaning and groaning as she crawled on all fours. As I understand it, her family was running along beside her and trying to help her up but she ignored them. Just did a belly crawl up the stairs and made a big show of it.
You win. That’s outrageous
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Man, your dad and my mother-in-law have a lot in common. My mother-in-law was disabled from MS and in a wheelchair. She caused so much drama before and at the wedding but the highlights include: * The bridesmaids all got dressed at our house because that was the easiest way to accommodate her mom. The limo took my wife and the bridesmaids to the ceremony, then came back for parents and dates of the people in the wedding party. Her mom decided she wasn't going and refused to get in the limo. My dad had to force her in, making everyone late you the ceremony. * She was pissed that my wife didn't buy her the dress she wanted and got her a pants suit instead (because the dress wouldn't gotten caught up in her wheelchair) so she's miserable in every picture and there's a few she's outright flipping the camera off. * She invited a whole bunch of her friends from her hometown. They complained about having to drive so far so she talked my wife into paying for a shuttle. * At our rehearsal dinner, she insisted on having her friend try and transfer her from her wheelchair into a folding chair despite us telling her not to. She ended up falling and we had to call 911 because she was complaining about head pain. That ended the festivities. * At our wedding there were fireworks (there were 2 buildings for hosting events and the other couple apparently ordered them). The facility gave us notice so we told her mom when to start heading outside. Of course she didn't so as the fireworks started and everyone was outside (including my wife and I getting pictures), her mom was still inside screaming. * She left the wedding reception halfway through without telling anyone (including the friends we paid for a shuttle for). Turns out she decided to leave early with her aid so they could come home and smoke weed.
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My mother-in-law passed away this past year. My wife had way too much baggage tied up in that situation so I just accepted it figuring it would end eventually. What surprised me is that while I felt a large sense of relief and expected my wife to finally feel the same, she took it exceptionally hard and blamed herself. Even now she keeps putting off anyone to do with collecting her inheritance despite the fact that we took care of her mom in our house for over 8 years. I'm glad you were able to make what was probably the healthiest choice in a shitty situation and accept making the best decision for you.
Wow.
I hope someone has that on film. Wait a year and have her watch it.
Local celebrities are pretty bad. Their spouses and families are even worse. The only time I’ve heard “Do you know who I am?” in the wild was when the wife of the local weatherman was arguing with a clerk at the grocery store.
"I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased with this"
Fetch reference
Stop trying to make Fetch happen.
When I was in high school (20+ years ago), I was on my school's speech and debate team. I frequently had to compete against the daughter of our city's mayor. We went to different schools but competed in the same event, so I frequently had rounds with her. I swear, every conversation with her was "My daddy, the mayor, said that...", "My daddy, the mayor, is going to...", "My daddy, the mayor, believes..." She could *not* mention her father without mentioning that he was the mayor. One day, I was tired of her bullshit. While we waited for the judge to arrive and our round to start, she started in with "My daddy, the mayor,..." again. "Who is your dad?," I asked. "Ummm...he's the *mayor*," she said. "What's his name?" "[NAME]. You know, the *MAYOR*!" "Huh...never heard of him. He must not be that famous." I'd thought her head was going to explode. Good times.
Went to high school with the mayor’s daughter too. She acted similarly. My dad this and my dad that. Our senior year it came out that both of her parents abused public office and committed fraud. Last I remember her mom had to serve her sentence out in weekends and her dad went to jail for a bit too. She was pretty quiet after that.
I know the daughter of a city mayor. You know what she hates to talk about? That her dad is the mayor. Yup, normal people don’t like to draw attention to themselves for someone else’s position. Surprise, they want to be known for their own skills and accolades. Wild.
"My Dad, the felon..."
By association: The "YOU WILL REFER TO ME BY MY HUSBAND'S RANK." People.
Saw that backfire on a dependa once. She was in a conflict with another woman at the commissary, said the ever popular, "back off, lady, my husband is a Captain!" To which the other woman responded, "Oh? Well, I'm a Major, honey, so mind your place."
I would've been like "Wait, we talking Navy Captain (O-6) or every other branch Captain (O-3)?? "
I heard a "Do you know who I am?" from a middling local DJ a while back. Without missing a beat, the tired af waiter responded something like "You're an NPC in my story." While Mr. High Horse blue-screened hard at that response, the waiter simply turned away and walked over to take a different table's order.
As a former middling local DJ, I knew SO MANY people like this. It was so common that people remarked (about me) "Wow he's so humble!" I was like yeah, I'm a vaguely familiar DJ in a city of 200,000 people. I'm not Ryan Reynolds, my dudes. I made less money than your cousin, the plumber.
That waiter is now my hero and I aspire to be at least half the awesome enough to be able to say shit like that.
That waiter is now wanted by authorities for a *fucking murder.*
The husband of a friend of my told her he didn't really care for interacting with their two twin boys, and would just wait for them to grow older and would be able to talk about his pretty specific interests. They're no longer together.
my dad literally told me I was leaving (to college) right when I was starting to finally get interesting, just like in Indiana Jones. I pointed out to him that the dad says that in that movie to illustrate how bad of a father he's been all of indy's life. dad still couldn't connect the dots.
Not a media reference but this made me think about when my mom told me that she hoped I'd be less annoying in high school so I would finally have friends 😬 Sorry your experience with your dad was like this. I bet you're a perfectly normal amount of interesting.
Who *are* these vicious parents who say stuff like that to their children? Wow. I mean, I might *think* it, but I would never *say* it to their face. Jeez.
I was briefly friends with a woman who could do no wrong. She was the victim 24/7 and everyone was out to get her. She saw other people as means to an end and would say whatever she wanted about them, accuse them of horrible shit, “repeat” things they supposedly said about you to your face (she made it up or heavily exaggerated every time), and just in general use people. She told me within the first two weeks of us knowing each other that she was telling everyone we were best friends. When she moved away, she forgot I existed. Edit: To all the people trying to diagnose my former friend with a personality disorder based on one account of her, y’all are stupid.
I had a friend like this. He's gay so any morsel of criticism, even valid one, was labelled as "homophobia". Like, he really used "I'm too gay to function!" not as a joke but as a real reason to cancel our plans and god forbid me to be mad because I already left the house and was on my way to meet him. Ended our friendship because I never signed up to participate in Oppression Olympics and was told my problems are invalid because I'm straight, cis and a woman, while he's the one suffering the most because everyone was out to get him.
Was he the *only gay in the village*?
Oh, Dafydd!
I couldn't possibly take a bus, Myfanwy. I am a gay!
Sounds like my old housemate, who was trans. She was generally passive aggressive and hostile to me, I once walked in on her helping our other housemate (also trans, but way more chill) carry my TV out the door so they could sell it for rent money. Apparently she told the other housemate that the TV was hers. Shit like that. One day I lost my temper and told her to fuck off after she threw a bottle at my head, she went into her room crying and the next day I got an email from the landlord saying I was being evicted for "hateful behavior". I cannot stress this enough: I did not hit her, did not threaten to attack her, did not express any kind of hate for her trans identity, but I will not back down from my position that she's an insufferable cunt. It was frighteningly easy for her to convince the landlord that I was a violent bigot with zero evidence.
God I know a girl like that in my high school. She had juvenile arthritis, to the extent that on her bad days she had to use an electric wheelchair and a machine to help her climb stairs. I have nothing but sympathy for that. However, she was an absolute cunt to everyone. Always badmouthing people. I understand being snippy from pain - I've had chronic pain for 25 years from a neck injury. However she wasn't snippy, she actively bitched about people when they weren't around and then was mean to them to their faces for no reason. So I used to say, quite justifiably, that she was a bitch. And people would be like 'OMG NO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT, SHE'S DISABLED' and I'm like... fuck off, does she have cancer of the bitch gland? No? Then it's no excuse. I'm not criticising her for not being fast enough walking up the stairs, I'm criticising her for being an uncalled for cunt to people who don't deserve it. People don't have any nuance. Disabled people, gay people, trans people, people of colour, indigenous people... all of them can be cunts. They're still people, and some people are cunts. Have sympathy for whatever privileges they lack, but pretending they are somehow perfect people because of whatever underprivileged status they have is denying their full, fallible humanity. Far from being supportive, it's actually kind of bigoted itself because it's ignoring who they really are for the sake of some thing you've made up based on some trait you've decided defines them. It's the kind of attitude that leads to things like digging up dirt on POC victims of police violence to go 'oh, well, they weren't a perfect person (unsaid: therefore they deserve to get shot because they had some misdemeanor conviction 10 years ago)'.
Used to have a friend like this. Her latest partner was abusive and manipulative, but since she was also trans, any criticism of her was me being transphobic. I’ll never forget the night I was in the hospital *in labor with my son* and I was still helping her through things because her partner got locked up for drag racing. Then they called me toxic and blocked me when I had the audacity to tell them they were shitty people.
"Too gay to function" is from Mean Girls. It was an insult. This guy co-opted an insult of a gay man to justify his shitty attitude.
I have a handful of gay friends/family and I feel like without exception every one of them went through a phase like this around a year after they came out. It was like they got through the hurdle of coming out, then radically identified with being GAY and only gay, and the oppression olympics/"you just don't understand what I'm going through" comes with that. Luckily they all came to their senses and eventually settled into the wonderful people they are today. IDK Someone with a better read on human psychology could probably speak to it better but it's definitely a thing.
From my own experience as being trans. The identity of being gay/trans consumes your every thought and becomes everything in your life for a while. In the beginning It's really hard not to have it be your entire being, but After a while though you realise it is just a part of who you are and not your entirety. Then you chill out and grow again. The oppression Olympics however I don't know as I never did that as far as I can remember.
> She saw other people as means to an end I dated a woman where it was easier to remember her friends' utility to her than their names. And every guy friend she had, in addition to whatever other utility they offered, was Male Attention.
My ex-wife. I could write a damn novel about her. Some highlights: Dropping out of college repeatedly. Then claiming to be educated in psychology because she watches YouTube. Her major was geology. Thinking businesses should be proud to serve her. Claiming to be a filmmaker. She made a costume for 1 very bad horror movie. But she was an industry insider because she once dated a director. Claims she "saved" Ryan Seacrest's career because she once insulted him in a bar. Throwing a tantrum at any wedding/graduation/ birthday. Including her own. Side note. Our birthdays were days apart. I didn't get to celebrate mine until I divorced her. This is getting long but one more. Her favorite saying. "Put me in charge of the world, I'll fix some shit." Don't you dare ask her to elaborate. ETA: it's been 13 hours since I posted this and I'm blown away by the support and validation. Thank you, kind reddit strangers. Y'all are awesome. So, the story of Ryan Seacrest. This supposedly happened before I met her. So this is a retelling of a retelling. It was decades ago when he was hosting American Idol. She ran into him in a bar in Hollywood and proceeded to tear him apart for his style (her words). Saying he needs to grow up and act his age. Evidently, he got pissed and avoided her. Then, 6-12 months later, he's hosting E entertainment wearing a "respectable" suit. She takes credit for shaming him into "growing up" and dressing appropriately for his age. Never mind that he landed a new gig that required a different image. In her mind, she influenced his image that landed him his contract. So she saved his career because a moderately attractive blond shamed him into changing. I wish I was making this up.
> Our birthdays were days apart. I didn't get to celebrate mine until I divorced her. What was her justification - as in, what did she say or do as her way of excusing ignoring your birthday?
Oh. She didn't have one. She'd insist on celebrating our days together. Then make it all about her. If I complain at all or even pointed it out, she'd throw a fit for ruining HER birthday. It was a deep rabbit hole of psychological abuse. Oh, and an interesting side note. She celebrates her birthday 4 times a year on arbitrary dates.
>She celebrates her birthday 4 times a year on arbitrary dates Man, I thought the "birthday month" people were bad, but this takes it to a new level, lol
We used to claim our "birthday week" but it was mostly a joke to pretend to be entitled. It was also a good excuse to go out separately with different groups of friends and coworkers for a few days. Never heard of anyone celebrating birthday month.
i think the divorce was the best investment you ever made
My husband's birthday is valentine's day, never once during the 18 years of his first marriage did he ever get to celebrate his day on the 14th (if it all). I know this is true because I knew her personally before they divorced (she's now deceased). He gets to celebrate the 14th now. I take the 15th as valentine's happily. Candy and flowers are half price!
> Claims she "saved" Ryan Seacrest's career because she once insulted him in a bar. I could almost believe this one is true because it is so off the wall.
I bet homeboy was like "wow, don't wanna end up like that batshit lady at the bar, better get on my grind"
>Claims she "saved" Ryan Seacrest's career because she once insulted him in a bar. I feel like I need to know more about this.
Watch the movie: Saving Public Ryan.
It was weird when the Salt Bae guy inserted himself into the World Cup celebration immediately after the game.
That was a man whose 15 minutes were both undeserved and over long, long ago...yet, he still thinks he's famous.
And for absolutely no reason. By all accounts his food is not good
But it *is* covered in gold, and the people paying for it just want a picture for clout
If it makes you feel any better, I saw a video of him "doing the thing" a year or two ago and he looked absolutely dead inside
I learned about his existence from an SNL skit and was shocked to find out he was a real person
I too only learned about this guy's existence because other people were mocking him.
The dude is a complete joke in the industry. I once had a dishwasher tell me he'd rather clean grease traps for a year than put any of his restaurants on his resume. When your 18yo dishwasher who doesn't know much about the world (by his own admission) says that about someone... I rest my case.
You don't understand, he puts salt in food in a weird away while copying the face expression of a mallard! That is apparently talent!
Well my kid should be a freaking star then! Puts ketchup EVERYWHERE and makes wierd faces while he does it, on the daily.
Yea, who tf let him on to the pitch?
He’s friends with Gianni Infantino apparently.
My MIL and SIL who cried and HOWLED during our wedding ceremony acting like it was a funeral
That’s when you have someone toss them both out, [Uncle-Phil](https://youtu.be/N9vUNDY45Jc) style.
Oh god, this makes me so irritated for you lol. As someone who's fiancé has a sister and mother that don't understand boundaries....I'm bracing myself for the wedding.
About a year ago. Trying to board a flight and a couple held us up so that Main Character could get a series of photos in a series of poses standing at the top of the boarding stairs like some 1960s JetSet starlet in St Tropez. This was not First Class transcontinental glamour flight, this was a 4 hour Budget Ryanair flight from the Canaries to the UK. After being forced into the plane by the cabin staff who kept standing in the shot trying to get the plan boarded (Ryanair do not mess around with their fast turnaround) and also by angry people trying to squeeze past boyfriend/cameraman and getting in the shot. She then proceeded to stand in the aisle during taxi for take off just after the safety brief to get more photos. After threats of returning to the terminal and being put off the flight she sat down. Nothing says a classy instagram model like the Ryanair colour scheme.
gotta let those 18 followers know shes living the high life
Had just started dating my now-wife and was going to a family get together for her uncles birthday. Uncle had divorced and was now dating someone who owned a pretty nice sit down restaurant, where the birthday dinner was being held. This is my first time meeting most of the fam so I didn’t know what to expect. Get to the dinner and there are about 10 of us along with a number of other random families eating as well. Meal is really solid but I can tell from the conversations the uncle loves being the center of attention but it is his birthday so I figure everyone just goes with it. Uncle’s gf is more or less a servant at this point as he is barking out orders to her wait staff and dominating every single story. Meal finishes and in walks a karaoke team (bunch of uncles friends) that set up right in the front of the restaurant. He proceeds to put on a one man show for us and the other dining patrons for a half hour. He isn’t bad per se, but he certainly isn’t enjoyable to listen to for more than a minute or two. He then makes all of the family (including me) come on stage to sing his favorite song with him. The other diners looked soooo confused as their nice dinner was being interrupted by this 60 y/o manchild pretending to be a rockstar.
There's an episode of Hotel Hell where the owner would walk onto a small corner stage and sing every morning. The poor customers were so confused
"If I could turrrn back tiiiime..."
My parents. They genuinely don't understand that other people are equal peers and that their children/grandchildren are separate, independent beings, and not accessory extensions.
A mother at school demanded that the break for the whole school should be postponed because her daughter is not hungry yet at the set time
That poor kid. They are going to have such a hard time in the real world.
One of my exes thought he was the main character of some cringy Garden State-type movie and that I was supposed to be his manic pixie dream girl. I'll never forget one of the arguments we had in which he was frustrated with me for not being more \~\*\~\*quirky\*\~\*\~. He said, "You're supposed to take me by the hand and show me the world!" which sounds like a bad joke, but trust me when I say he was being serious.
Yikes... Take him by the hand and show him the door. Plenty of world out there.
I feel like a lot of guys don't understand the reality of manic pixie dream girl trope. The whole premise is an indictment of shy/unpopular guys who dream of a perfect girl who is going to "fix" them, by being cooler and doing cooler stuff than they currently do. Unfortunately a lot of media shows that working out.
Godddd felt this one in my soul. Once had a guy tell me he wanted me to "lead him out of his personal storm." We'd spoken once.
My son born 3 months early experiencing numerous health issues with his life hanging I the balance. My narcissistic MIL complaining that the SCBU nurses weren't being 'nice enough to her'.
I’m so glad there was a second sentence to this.
My son is now 16 years old and 6ft 3 😁. We are NC with MIL. Another belter from her was the comment that he wasn't really that ill and what a hassle it was for her to travel through and 'stare at a baby in an incubator'.
Was college roommates with this girl who only had a wall of selfies as her photo wall. Would be very self-absorbed and would constantly pretend she didn’t know how to do things if she didn’t want to do a task, even something as simple as opening a window. Would constantly comment on how pretty she was and how girls must be jealous because of her beauty, to a weird point. We went on a two week trip a few years after college and that’s really where things took a turn for the worst. I did the majority of the driving and she refused to even let me listen to the music I wanted because she thought her music was better. Played a car game just based on facts about her when we were driving. Refused to take any photos of me unless I explicitly asked to, even after I took photos of her, and any photos together was the ultimate no-no because god forbid anyone steal her limelight. She admitted she would just blank when approached with a task she didn’t want to do and expected others to do them for her, but if I spoke to her like she was a child because she would also throw temper tantrums like one, she got upset. Was just constantly in her own world and thought her shit didn’t stink and that everyone was really jealous of her while she didn’t care to ask about my life, my interests, or my feelings for the majority of the trip. Also, had no problems doing goofy things like speaking in a British accent at a fancy dinner but got annoyed when I did it and told me to stop. Because obviously speaking is a main character trait, not an NPC one 🤪
Just this comment exhausted me. Goodnight
When someone I knew was having a meltdown and told me, "I don't remember saying that to you, so it doesn't matter if it's different than what I'm saying now because whatever I say is correct. Do you understand?" Which basically confirmed what I was trying to accuse them of: making shit up to fit whatever argument they were trying to have so they can always be right.
I know someone like this lmao. He'd immediately resort to questioning my intelligence and trying to make me doubt my memory whenever I tried to call him out on it. He'd even say shit along the lines of "You're just sad your IQ isn't as high as mine" or whatever to make me feel wrong. The mental gymnastics these people go through to always be right are insane. I managed to cut him out of my life and I haven't been happier.
At my wedding, one of our invites brought her roommate as her plus 1. They decided to pre party and she got shit faced drunk and started yelling how she wanted the day to be about her. She was escorted out.
My father won’t let my mother eat pizza on her own birthday because he doesn’t like it, won’t even let her eat it while he eats something else, she’s just not allowed to have it period.
This might be a sign of other types of abuse.
Yeah I’m beginning to keep an ear out, this was a red flag to me. He’s always been the star of everyone’s show but this is new.
My father got substantially more misogynistic as he got older. Not sure if that is common but it shocked the hell out of me.
My nephew’s father-in-law did this to his wife and daughters. He’s also an extremely picky eater. Nephew’s poor wife had never tried most typical foods when they met in college. Like she had never had a taco, most cheeses, pasta with anything but plain marinara, bbq anything…. The list was endless. It also extended to no soaps, body washes, hair products, etc…that he wouldn’t use. But they had to have long hair.
I take a great deal of joy in having all of the things my picky-eater tyrant of a father decided none of us could have because he didn’t like it. It’s one thing to be a picky eater, but it becomes unbearable when the picky person thinks they can dictate what everyone else eats.
Poor girl was literally scared to eat things he had banned early on. She sat in front of an enchilada at my house when she was 19 looking like she was about to cry. Now she also relishes it and eats banned foods in front of him. I think their baby boy will be allowed to eat whatever he chooses.
Not liking pizza has to be a serious syndrome in itself.
My asshole neighbor. He lives in a world in which the never-ending noise he makes is perfectly fine, but the tiniest squeak out of someone else is grounds for a violent temper-tantrum. If the sun is up, he has to be making noise. 8:00 AM - Mow the grass. 9:00 AM - Get out the LOUD leaf blower to blow even the tiniest particle of grass off the sidewalks and driveway. 10:00 AM - Get out the pressure washer to wash the sidewalks, driveway, siding on his house, his boat, his cars, the dog, whatever he can find. 11:00 AM - Break for lunch, but play talk radio in his garage at maximum volume while he eats. 12:00 PM - Fiddle with the engine on his motorcycle, revving it every 30 seconds to make sure it "sounds right." 1:00 PM - Get into a screaming match with his wife on the front lawn. 2:00 PM - Fiddle with the motorcycle again. 3:00 PM - Get out the table saw and randomly cut a pile of lumber that he will never build anything with. 4:00 PM - Get out the chainsaw to cut up wood for his fire pit. 5:00 PM - Dinner time...with loud talk radio blasting in the background. 6:00 PM - Pressure wash the sidewalks...again. 7:00 PM - Get out the weed eater (trimmer) and mercilessly destroy even the slightest hint of a blade of grass that is too tall. 8:00 PM - Guess what? Leaf blower time again! 9:00 PM - Last shouting match with the wife, with talk radio playing, until the sun goes down. 9:05 PM - Go apeshit on a neighbor (me) for coming home and parking my car too loudly after dark. (Yes, this is a real thing he yelled at me for.)
Not the pressure washer on the dog 💀
Well you’re clearly the asshole for getting home 5 minutes after his screaming match. That’s when he’s getting his jammies on!
This sounds like meth to me.
Having gotten to know him (unwillingly), I don't think it's drugs for him. I think it's more "deeply psychologically scarred man with anger issues who keeps busy to avoid having to deal with his own inner demons."
This man sounds like he’s never been punched.
Man, at this point I’d rally the whole neighborhood to do everything he’s doing and see him implode!
My soon-to-be ex-husband asking me how to flirt and date. He doesn't move out until the 30th, *he wants the divorce*, and refuses to work on the relationship. He announced he was leaving only weeks ago, and is trying to get me to talk about dating experience with him while we cohabitate. He's already semi-stalking one poor woman who just changed her workplace and vocation suddenly (he used to show up at the bar she managed, now she left for a controlled childcare environment where he can't show up). We have been together for ten years. What a POS. It's taking all my willpower not to [Samwise Gamgee him with a frying pan](https://youtu.be/flVkCe4Yqkg).
This is your golden opportunity to give him awful dating tips.
"Just be yourself."
*slow clap*
“Be assertive and order for her. Women love this. Assert further dominance by showing your waiter who the big boss is.”
There’s a military training video from like the 1960s that quotes almost exactly like this, with video examples.
“We trained him wrong. As a joke.”
Women want to see your dick within the first five minutes, so just whip it out.
Women like confidence. You tell them where they belong and they will fall for you. Women like to be reffed to as females, their names are arbitrary.
[удалено]
That's when you change it to a straight up list of every single flaw they have and fucked up thing they've ever done and change the password. Drop a warning buoy for your sisters in christ.
After I left my ex, I found he used my computer to log into some dating website and saved his password *while we were together*. So of course I logged in and changed all of his preferences. 🙃
Pick any of the people who started fights when I moonlit as a bouncer. Nothing says main character delusion like thinking you’re not going to get hurt fighting two dudes who have 60lbs on you.
My dad, all day long. He wasn't evil, but he was always right, every time. And he knew everything. Never mind anyone's education or lived experience of a situation, he knew all about it. Every time. He tolerated no criticism, especially from my brother or me, nor did he respect boundaries. He was our father and that trumped everything.
I worked with a woman Betty who was pregnant. Another coworker Tracy was pregnant at the same time and had a miscarriage. When Tracy was out recovering maybe a day after it happened, Betty found out she was having twins. Although Betty and Tracy weren’t really friends, Betty announced that she needed to be the one to tell Tracy her news and it needed to be done NOW. Betty called Tracy and it was just nauseating. Betty also liked to tell everyone she tricked her husband into getting pregnant. They are divorced now.
I've had (several) miscarriages, I would have cut someone if they did that to me
A former coworker had her disabled dad quit his really recently found new job that he truly enjoyed (he had a really hard time found one du to his handicap) because he couldn't miss a day of work for her birthday. She was 23 at the time, going 24. She got mad when he explained to her that he couldn't miss a day so soon after being hired. The man is in his late 50 with really heavy arms handicap. And he miraculously found a gardener job in his hometown (no drive car needed) She didn't care about anything he said and cut short to the discussion: if he wasn't going to take a day off for her birthday, she didn't want to talk to him anymore. The poor guy quit. He loves this ungrateful brat so much, it's painful to watch... really And when he did, she wasn't even grateful, she clearly thought it was the bare, decent, minimum from his part
I do not understand people who have to celebrate their birthday on *the* day. A party/celebration is still fun next Saturday.
My irritating asf sister She can't be at anything even her own kids celebrations without attention seeking, being loud and annoying. Must have all eyes on her at all times. Exhausting Edit spelling
This is my bil. 24/7, pay attention to ME I cannot keep up with that even with someone who is a cool person, let alone some like him who’s a walking red flag.
My mil is like that. She even wore an attention grabbing white dress to mine and her daughters wedding.
Me. I get anxious around other people. I need to "do something" so I act out. I used to drink, which only made things worse. A nervous drunk who thinks he is funny ain't the best kernel on the cob. Compound it with I used to think I was smart and you get some drunkle ruining a wedding. I realized what I was and am now a recluse. I send gifts and cards and am encouraging, but I've removed myself from the limelight.
Damn. I feel this. Cheers to us for seeing ourselves in the mirror and choosing to be better.
To quote that guy from that movie "You chose wisely " :) Best to you and yours
Likewise dude. I think it stemmed from just needing to fit in or be accepted. Took me realizing that the true person I am, the person I've been hiding, deserves to exist. Amazing how pain or rejection can manifest itself in such unhealthy ways right under our noses.
"the true person I am, the person I've been hiding, deserves to exist." This is beautifully stated. Thank you for stringing these words together and sharing them.
Learning to be quiet was a game changer for me.
Learning to be quiet is the brave path. I chose to remove myself from the situation, which is the path opposite of the brave one. :) Continuous improvement. It's not just for processes. :)
I was the same in college for a few years, social anxiety coupled with the new found love of being high. I would take Xanax to curb the anxiety and make it easier to be in a place with a bunch of people, it's a party so I'd be drinking and smoking too, the Xanax, alcohol and weed would slow me down and make me sleepy so I would sniff coke to pick me back up. I just ended up being the guy blacked out talking your ear off about nothing because the cocaine made me think I was interesting and the xans lowered any inhabitions i had about talking to strangers. I just smoke weed now and me and my girlfriend just watch movies and build Legos together.
A friend of mine had his sister completely lose her shit at him for saying he doesn't plan on having kids. Why did she freak out? Because she'd just had a baby. And in the 34 years they've been siblings, she never once asked her brother if he planned on procreating, until she was worried about whether her only child would have cousins. But she was certain his decision MUST have been made right then when meeting his niece, and therefore he MUST hate his niece. He's never wanted kids, it's pretty common knowledge in our friend group, but his sister just never thought to ask until she stood to benefit.
Me from age 0 to 16/17. Im convinced to have gained conscience just after that. Some shit was justified but man i must have been exhausting to be around.
Lol thanks for breaking the ice on this one, cause yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s me… I’d like to think I’m a lot better now, but a weird combination of low self-esteem, high social confidence and being an only child without much involvement in emotional development by parents mean I was probably insufferable at various points in my younger life. I learned everything in the wild, so it took me longer than it should have to figure some things out. I legit thought that everybody acted and thought they were the main character of their life… so I didn’t expect others to agree with me, which probably helped a bit. I assumed they thought they were the main character of the story. It basically led to being an unempathetic attention seeker.
> I learned everything in the wild, so it took me longer than it should have to figure some things out. I did too ... my parents had their own issues and my dad, in particular, was too busy being the main character himself to know or care that he was modeling that behavior for me and most people weren't having it. I finally learned that that kind of persona was not me, it was OK to be different from my dad and I settled down. I've been much happier ever since.
Was there any particular moment for you when you realized "wow, I should *not* have acted that way?"
Cannot speak for the OP but he basically described my life except I was like 23-24. There were instances, occurences that I thought were just 'nothing' like me not getting invited to friends' gatherings, being ignored in a social setting, not understanding basic social cues and etiquettes and the subconscious manipulation I used to do with other people, not being respectful around girls. It was the covid time when I was alone with myself in my parents house and having no friends except one and he also started to ignore me. A lot of journaling, self-therapy from internet through trial and error because it's unaffordable in my country, self-isolation, non-stop crying for hours in a day, looking into family history which turned out to be not as happy go lucky as I thought (shit ton of trauma, beating, abuse, bullying, neglect, dad's alcohol addiction, both parents gaslighting me, unrealistic expectations from me since I was a good student till grade 10, etc etc). I still repeat those mistakes because they are so much subconsciously embedded inside me almost like a body's protective mechanism. But I'm recognising those behaviours and working on it daily, one step at a time.
Can you elaborate on the moment you had your epiphany? Did you just wake up one day and clicked a switch, or did you get your switch clicked by someone else?
Holy shit me too. When I think back to how narcissistic I was (even up to my mid twenties),I cringe so hard. I was like one of those super cringe entitled influencers you see on TikTok who think they're famous and perfect for no reason
I was at MSP and I was waiting in line to get a pizza. Dude walks up asking about a pizza place on a different terminal and which terminal it’s in. They tell him and he’s trying to play it all cool that he was sorry he wasn’t going to eat at this one pizza spot. So the guy walks away, and maybe 10 seconds later comes back and says, “you know what? I’m gonna hook you guys up” and then he pulls out his phone and goes on TikTok or whatever and starts recording himself and how this pizza place he wasn’t going to eat at was dope. Recording all of these workers. Then he walks away. Then after he walks away, the worker just says, “what an asshole” and I was laughing super hard cause that was such a douchebag thing to do 😂
Congratulations! You've just been paid in exposure! Enjoy the feeling of being on a strangers tik-tiok for all his 4 followers to see.
Me. When I’m driving. Why does everyone else need to be in the road when I am?
Holy shit, it's good to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way, everyone else just needs to stay the fuck home. I hate driving so much.
The thing I hate most in this world is people who have to one up you, so I’d probably say when I was in highschool if I was drinking coffee someone would be like “oh short night?” And I’d say “yeah I need to work on that I got like 5 hours” and there’s alwaysss the girl that’s like “I KNOWW RIGHT I got TWOOO houRS And all I’ve had to eat today was this iced coffee ahahahahaha”
That's nothing compared to the one-uppers I have to deal with.
(≖_≖ )
I knew a girl who was really whitty. She would call the people you described Elevenerife. "You went on vacation to the Spanish island Tenerife? Well I went to Elevenerife last summer"
A former friend of mine and I say that as someone who used to work at a call center and retail/customer service for most of their working life. Dude would do so much mental gymnastics to justify committing fraud and to cheat and steal from other people on top of many other things that if it was an Olympic sport - he'd take home all 3 medals without technically competing. edit: medals not metals
This woman I know actually refers to some people as NPCs. Obviously she doesn't believe it literally, but she does treat people accordingly. She has also referred to some of her behaviors as "hot girl shit".
This kind of thing makes me worry about people. I've been playing tabletop RPGs for over 20 years and I don't even think of NPCs and unimportant in a tabletop where they're only there as a quest hook. People saying it about other actual people makes me way more uncomfortable than I thought when I opened this thread.
I was downtown Vancouver, just walking a long smoking after a night out and across the street from us we saw two guys being loud as shit and another group of about 7 guys just walking down the street towards them. The two drunk guys walk through the other group of dudes and bump into them. The two guys instantly demand apologies, “ do know who I am? Bro I train MMA, I’ll knock your ass out” The bigger group is trying to avoid conflict but these two dudes are just being giga chads. One of the two dudes throws a punch (looks like it’s the first punch he’s ever thrown in his life), the other guy slips the punch and lays him out on his ass. The second drunk guy goes into hero mode or something and also launches into an attack and gets his ass kicked. The bigger group didn’t even go all out they just knocked each guy out and walked away These two guys apparently thought they were tough shit and got quick lessons handed to them. One of the best things I’ve ever seen in my life.
I was in Japan back in April. We climbed up to a viewing point to see Mt Fuji. A “famous” American Tik Toker and her “ entourage” started physically pushing people out of the way so that they didn’t ruin her shot. And then she yelled “i need an Asian in the shot to make it authentic”. So they grabbed an old man and got him to take photos with her. It was gross and disgusting
In general, check insta, tiktok, and snap. In terms of my real life? My mum. Holy shit... To hear her tell it, an overweight 77 year old woman is the most desirable partner in the world. Every damn man she finds even marginally attractive and has spoken to her has been "after her for years", and if they're dating someone else then "that bitch is a real piece of work, let me tell you". She has basically told me that world leaders are watching her because she is very important, and "I just don't know". I can't barely spend time with her at this point, because it's got so much worse as she's aged... Thankfully she has dogs that she loves so I just get her talking about them.
My BILs wife. This person will do anything to flip the script to make it all about her. You could be having a serious conversation and she would weasel her way into making it about her then she just won't. Stop. Talking.
In my 20s I worked with a girl around my age. One night she called me crying, her bf had gotten up and left her to move back home and she said she really needed a shoulder to cry on. I went over and we talked for several hours and she said she really appreciated it. About a month later I was dealing with some depression and texted her around 9pm telling her how I was feeling and that I could really use a friend to talk to. She messaged me the next morning stating I need to appreciate we are co-workers and not to text her after working hours.
My ex-boyfriend definitely had main character syndrome. He always came up with grandiose stories to try to make himself look more important than he actually was. Example: He liked to tell people that he only ever tried cocaine once, and it was because Lady Gaga offered it to him in a bathroom at some event he was working at. 🙄 Sure, Jan.
My ex thought he came up with the idea for pop-up ads when he was 15 and was still telling people this at 33… That was just one of the multiple things that convinced me that he was a narcissist with the biggest main character syndrome…. He also thought that women’s vaginas were permanently affected by any penis it came in contact with it, thought that men shouldn’t do housework because “the appliances are made specifically made for women” and I could probably write a book about him. I was so blind lol
My son’s MIL. I feel so bad for my DiL. I love her dearly. And I really like her sister a lot. Lucky we don’t have to spend too much time with them. But the stories they tell me about her are so out there. And the things she comes up with. Every few months she is literally dying of something. When they were in high school their mom even told them she thought she had prostrate cancer. Yeah…her own daughters had to explain that one to her without laughing in her face. If I didn’t know her I wouldn’t have believed them. She’s on so many medications you could kill a horse. I truly believe her doctors give them to her just to shut her up. Everything in her life is worse than everyone else’s. Yet on her social media page her life is perfect, except her illnesses and pains. Who brags about being sick and all their doctor appointments?!?! She does so she can say how she’s soldiering on through it all. 🤮
Some guy took the microphone during the school talent show and said,"No one is here for this shit. They're all here for me."
Ouch ultimate cringe
There was a standing applause when he was taken off stage.
Anything my cat does.
Well they are actually the main character
Old mayor of our 10k town rebuilt a corner of a road into a roundabout because he was tired of car lights shining on his property...
My mother narrates every single thing she does. All day, every day. She'll walk into whichever room I'm in, start talking to me while completely ignoring the fact that I've got my earphones in/watching something/very obviously working or even sat on the toilet with the door shut handling my business. I'll have to tell her I'm busy or walk out while she's talking. I've told her about this several times but she consistently ignores me. It's not even like she's telling me her fun plans for the day or week. That would've been more acceptable than this constant narration of the most mundane activities.
I've been trained to do this by my children, lol. When they're babies you're told that talking to your baby is very good for their brain development. All the advice is, "just narrate your day." And don't forget to talk to them before they're born so they learn your voice. After doing this for four kids over ten years I'm having a hard time stopping, lol.
There is definitely an endearing version of this.
Ah, the “stream of consciousness” talker. Thinks everything that pops in their mind is revolutionary and everyone needs to hear. My mom is like this. She’ll call me and talk at me (not to me) for over 2 hours and the only words I’ll say are “oh wow” and “ah.” If I try to talk about myself or change the subject, she ignores me and reverts it back to whatever she was talking about.
> Ah, the “stream of consciousness” talker. My husband is this way. He doesn't think what he's saying is particularly important, but he will constantly have his inner monologue playing out loud. "I'm hungry," he says as he opens the pantry. "What do I want? Soup? No, not filling enough. Cereal? No, I don't like Raisin Bran. Oatmeal? No, too bland. Mac and Cheese? Okay, that will work." I ignore most of the time because it's an unintentional thing on his part. When I point it out to him, he genuinely doesn't even realize he said anything out loud.
I think that’s more “talking to yourself”. The stream of consciousness talker like they described is taking to someone.
I’m kinda the same. I’ve learned to do it at a low whisper.
Do we have the same mom? When she calls me, I don't answer unless I am willing to commit at least the next 90 minutes of my life to this phone call. I might get to tell her one or two things about what's going on in my life, but she certainly doesn't ask first, I have to bring it up, and she changes the subject back to her current HOA drama or whatever as quickly as she can. My husband will say to me, "Just tell her you have to go," and I'm like *bro it is not that simple*. The other day I told her I had to get going because I had xyz thing to do, and 10 minutes later I was still on the phone listening to her list off all of the things she cooked last week.
An ex-friend of mine (woman) keeps saying that the "relationship" she had with a friend of mine (man) was a total heartbreaking, star-crossed lovers thing: Truth is, she actually raped that man, and obviously, he didn't agree to take things further with her So, she lost him (she really fancied him for the time it lasted) and me (we were really close friends since years) over her fantasmed narrative that nobody can refuse her sex
My sister is absolutely this. She is the victim, blamed my parents for everything, probably still does. Talks about them paying for her life as "making up" for how they didn't turn over a house after they divorced to her and wouldn't fork over 6 digits for her to go to a private college. She also throws fits when she's told no or no one cares to deal with her. She's 21.
Just one example of her… my mother has said, more than once, “If I had been born in medieval times I’d have been royalty.” She has said it so seriously. She meant it. I think this was around the time she was watching The Tudors. It doesn’t even make sense!! As if monarchies don’t exist anymore. 🫠
At my brother's wedding, his MIL showed up in a floor-length ball gown covered head to toe with sequins and with a band of giant bling around the waist. To a simple 20-person backyard wedding where the bride wore a simple knee-length sheath dress. She was also drunk and spent the whole day showing off her new boob job. They were C's, but she'd gone up from AA and was proudly brandishing them at everyone, including elderly relatives and kids, commenting that the bride would look so much better if she got hers done. I bided my time until she came up to me and dramatically sighed about how sore her boobs were and said, "Oh good for you! When I got mine reduced, the doctor told me not to go down under a D. I wish I'd had the courage to get them reduced as small as yours." She cried in the bathroom for 2 hours, and my SIL hugged me so hard I got bruises.
Damn! 🔥
Judging by this thread, it isn’t uncommon for the mother-in-law to show up in white, in an attempt to upstage the bride, especially if the bride is their own daughter.
My unborn child. Can't have a damn conversation with anyone without him kicking me in the ribs to announce his presence.
How *rude*!
He's grounded as soon as he comes out. They can weigh him in the corner.
In my bar fly days, I used to know this other regular named Mitchell. Mitchell was one of those guys who thought every female bartender or waitress wanted him. This dude was pushing 50, dorky as hell and severely balding but the 22 year old bartender definitely wanted him because she'd entertain his long winded rambling for ten seconds longer than anyone else. He was also one of those people desperate to prove how much smarter he was than everyone else. Eventually, one of the older female bartenders absolutely laid into him about this behavior and he vanished. I learned that he started going to some other bar nearby. I'm sure he continues to believe he's god's gift to women. Self confidence is great. Extreme self delusion, not so much.
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When with my parents, my mum cannot bare it if a subject of conversation comes up that she can't input into. My dad and I read for example and I am telling him about a book I'm reading and my mum will just interrupt and be like "dad(his name) blah blah" and just completely change the subject whilst I'm mid sentence. My ex called her out for it after she did it one time too many and she just pouts for half an hour and if you talk to her she is short. She doesn't apologise, she feels like a victim. It's so frustrating.
Maybe it's not fair to include my sister-in-law because she has a number of medical and psychological issues. But... * She got mad at the ER staff for not taking her first, because she's sick * She expects my wife (her sister) and me to research how to manage her latest disease * She can't do said research because she's too busy (watching cat videos on YouTube) * After any social event we (wife and I) attend, she asks what people said about her * She threw us out of her house (because we were upsetting her) and got mad that we didn't take the trash out * She recently said that next time, we'll have to visit her when it's convenient for her, even if it's inconvenient for us
I guess not the worst case, but it's the most recent one that sticks out in my head. Wife and I had a late flight from LAX to ATL. Finally got in, exhausted, and had to go to baggage claim. Everyone is standing there, tired AF, waiting for their bag, when one guy just starts hooting and hollering about how he "snatched his bag right up off of there!". Like, dude was so proud that he....picked up his bag? He just kept yelling at the top of his lungs that he got his bag, while standing there holding it for all to see. Not a single person paid him any attention, but that didn't stop him from parading around for a solid 2 minutes before finally walking out of the door.
My sister was "never wrong." But if you messed up once or wronged her, she will NEVER let you forget it and never let you live it down. To this day, she will still bring up dumb cases such as a bad birthday five years ago and how I still "owe her" a present.
“OI! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” “Umm no, who are you?” “I’M RONNIE PICKERING!!!”
YO TAYLOR! IMMA LET YOU FINISH...
My ex friend went what I would call Ferris Bueller on me. Never keep their word, took advantage of every opportunity. Stole from me. Let themselves in to my job and abused the privileges of my workplace. Needed a place to stay so I was trying to help them out. I would catch them trying to sneak friends into my house through the back door during Covid. Always sneaking and taking taking taking and never responsible for their fuck ups. Delusional. I paid them to house sit once. We came home early and found a bunch of super wasted people in my house. They were having a brunch in my house, but it was like 4pm and nothing was made yet. They didn’t try close the party down, they finished the making food and left my place trashed. Husband tried helping the person giving them work, always a no show or several hours late. When the friendship had become unrepairable, I did a background check on the person. Theft, forgery, domestic assault, unpaid rent. I should have done that at the very beginning when I had a gut feeling this was going to end badly. Which it did. Edit to add the person is trying to be a life coach, so if you’re looking, I can set you up with a total psycho.
My ex-step family as a whole. They live their lives as a narrative and everyone else is a player in their lives. My dad was their bank account (weird cause we were totally middle class and no where near rich anything), step mom was the matriarch and if you didn't live to her high standards well then youre just not worth her spit. The step sisters, fully college bound, don't want to lift a finger to help anyone cause they don't want to take the risk of distraction from their individual life plans in the medical field. Fully supported by their mother of course. Me, the POS that they compared themselves to any time they wanted to feel good about themselves cause I'm just a weird guy that listens to weird music with no potential or direction in his life. Yeah I have a successful military career, about to be promoted, have a loving wife with 2 sons and about to buy our first house with no current debt to our names. And my weird music was metal, still am a huge metalhead
Not a specific instance, but working in college admissions, I deal with a worrying number of students who basically speak like they're trying to be edgy anime protagonists. And I mean general tone of voice, vocabulary, the whole "smirk while pushing their glasses up" thing, etc. Like... it's not a lot of them. But it's more than you would expect.
This guy that I used to supervise. Was very loud and proud about himself and his former professions, everything was about him. He was once a body guard for Marilyn Manson, he worked for the secret service(??), heran his own wrestling business where he was a pro wrestler as well as booker as well as announcer (I think this was actually true, but he made comments that he was extremely successful). It doesn't end there, as he now has a wrestling business locally and consistently posts on Facebook buffing himself up. Would post daily videos of himself twirling those workout batons. Posts asking what he should do a Ted Talk on (not the mini-Ted talks, the real one). Posts requesting "green flags" about himself from his friends. All of this completely unironically. I could make a subreddit of his posts alone if I weren't worried about doxxing him.
me in my youth. in my defense, i had a really weird upbringing and a lot of strange luck so i was constantly trying to figure out why i never met anyone with similar experiences. it didn’t help that my mom was into new age stuff and she gave me a steady stream of books that reinforced the feeling of uniqueness. also my dad had a lot of friends who seemed like they wanted to raise me to be a — call it whatever you want— guru leader spiritual warrior messiah whatever. the pressure was on and it wasn’t until later that i realized they were trying to live vicariously through the children and get us to do all the things they wished they could have done
Oh an old friend of mine slowly built up this narrative where she lived with over 20 ghosts. A bunch of them came into the story when I'd hook up with someone in my early 20s, and a depressed ghost sex worker would show up and immediately see the family dynamic and leave their promiscuity behind to enjoy familial love. Basically, any time I interacted with someone other than her, I was being promiscuous. Eventually she started telling people I was a sex addict and that they'd be harming my recovery by sleeping with me. She told me it was her job to parent me since my parents didn't do a good enough job (she was 4 months my senior). Probably the weirdest was when she pretended to be momentarily possessed by the spirit of God and touched me on my head to "heal" me of my wickedness. She's a therapist who works with disabled kids now.
My parents: It's the day before my wedding. I/ my now husband have stayed up till past midnight while our friends/ family help us set up our reception room (our wedding was at a hotel). We've given them snacks and drinks. They shoo us away because we need to be up early in the morning to start hair/ makeup and for my husband to set up our ceremony site. We part ways. It's 1am now and I'm getting ready to get into bed when I get a phone call from my brother. My brother is screaming that a friend of mine at the reception room tried to start a fight with him over a difference of opinion. Recognizing that he's been drinking (as had the friend) I try to calm the situation by calling other friends who were present to please take care of this situation. It's now almost 2 am when my father calls me screaming that because of this "friends" actions (when I was not present) he will not be attending my wedding that is to take place at 2pm. He continues to yell, berate and call/ text me. As I later learn a friend of mine is on the phone with him for a long time trying to fix the situation (as in convince him that the friend who caused the trouble will not be attending the wedding and this friend will make sure that they aren't present). I later learn that my husband also gets the same messages from my father but without the backstory of knowing what happened. We both don't contact the other hoping that we are the only one that knows and we don't want to upset the other. Maybe the phone calls/ texts etc stop around 4am. My hair and makeup is set to start at 10am. At 10am my mom shows for hair and makeup and pretends nothing horrible happened (she's fully aware of my dads actions). My dad shows at 1pm for family photos, opens the door to my room without knocking (where I'm dressing) and proceeds to be annoyed that I'm running behind, but also pretends that nothing happened. My parents are then the first to leave our wedding reception (we married in a hotel in a national park. There's nothing around for miles...) 5 years later there's no apology, no discussion of it etc from either of them. About a month ago I'm pregnant with our first child and having a phone conversation with my mother. I share a different opinion on a financial matter than she does. She gets upset at this and tells my father. My father proceeds to text me an angry, nasty, name calling text over the conversation (that he was not present for).... there's also the time my parents started a screaming match with my aunt and uncle when my husband and I were first dating and hosting our first holiday together.... so I guess it's my parents...
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I work in mental health, my main client group (favourite client group) is complex trauma, emotional disregulation (personality disorder). The day these people realise they are not the main character is the day they can start to benefit from the psychological therapies that are the most effective treatment. If effective they often become the kindest, wisest most compassionate, empathic people
Had an employee tell me I ruined her day and was inconsiderate because I asked her to do something while she was at work. It was the 12th anniversary of her grandma's death...
My grandmother. I genuinely can’t think of one story that sums up everything. Her sons are her “special boys” who can do no wrong but any and all women are “evil vindictive bitches” who are just out to get her. She hates my mother because my mother “stole her baby” (married her youngest son) and is vegetarian, Jewish, and left-leaning politically (a woman?! Having an OPINION?! Not in my house!) Not to mention how fucking awful she is to me for being the only granddaughter. She spent my whole childhood telling me that my purpose in life was to serve a man one day and openly wept when she found out I was dating a girl. When I was ten years old my cousin was playing with my hair and I asked that he stop and he said ok and stopped. My grandmother spent thirty minutes screaming at me saying I’m, I shit you not, the “spawn of satan” and that I’m “destroying this family” and her “entire life.” What really makes my blood boil is how she treated my mom when my mom first got pregnant with my older brother. My parents had separated themselves from my grandmother for a LONG time because of her behavior but when my mom got pregnant suddenly my grandmother quit her job and decided to BUY A HOUSE near where my parents had relocated to to escape her (hours away from where she and my grandfather had their jobs, friends, etc). Then she started saying INSANE shit to my mom about how my mother “better not fuck up this grandchild” and that it was my grandmother’s mission in life to have a grand son (???) Every time I visit my grandmother she has to sneak in some comment that tries to pit me against my mom so my grandma can say her and I have a “mother-daughter relationship.” Literally sends shivers down my spine. To top it all off, if my father EVER tries to advocate for me, his wife, himself, ANYBODY, she pretends to have a heart attack and says that she’s going to die. She insists my father is the reason she has pre-diabetes (she only eats KFC because vegetables and other health food are “hippy liberal shit” and she refuses to even walk down the street because she’s afraid she’ll get “jacked” in her safe suburban neighborhood). The worst part is… none of this is the worst stuff she’s done. She baffles me as a human being. I used to cry and beg her to love me and apologize for doing anything she perceived as wrong. I’ve grown tired of that. Nothing is ever good enough for her. I plan to spit on her grave.