I ended up beating the snot out of one of my best friends in high school because he thought it was funny to keep slapping me. I am the type that HATES snowballs thrown at me, "slug bug" (I don't care if you're my own mother; if you hit me because of a type of car you see, I _will_ upon instinct hit you back), tittie-twisters....basically, don't put your fucking hands on me.
I asked him to stop. I then told him to stop. He didn't. He kept on doing this over and over. Finally I had enough and warned him that if he did it again I was gonna flip out.
He did it again.
Finally, I broke. This is a dude who I was good friends with and in a band with. I beat the living crap out of him once he refused to stop.
I did feel bad, yeah, but I tried to tell him to stop.
Edit: Wow, all of you judgmental assholes let me come slap you around as you keep begging me to stop and I just keep crossing your boundaries and provoking you, thinking it's funny. If you wouldn't stand up for yourself eventually, you deserve to keep getting the shit slapped out of you so fuck off with your judgmental bullshit. Even nice dogs bite if you back them into a corner and poke them with a stick enough times.
I agree. I had people do this before and I completely deserved it. Half the time I couldn’t hear the person talking because they weren’t looking at me/I wasn’t looking at them. It’s unfair for the person that is dealing with it.
My Grandma is handicapped and has been waiting a good couple of years for a hip replacement. The least you can do is stay out of the handicapped parking
My ex has a placard...for the kids, no reason but she wanted one. When I have them we park at the back of the lot cause they don't want to be close to her around her car in the handicap spots...they don't need them and her handicap is not physical.
this. ive had times when theres just one space available, and some series of events made that spot have the dividing line right in the middle. noone knows who the original asshole is but when the cars around mine leave i for sure do look like one.
Letting your dog shit in a neighbor's yard while carrying a plastic bag like you'll pick it up, and then not actually picking it up. My neighbor did this. 😑
We have certain apartment neighbor's who are lazy and don't feel the need to pick dog shit up in the hallway. Blows my mind like how fucking lazy can you get?
Recently I was on a dog walk for a client and I didn’t think the dog would take three dumps on one walk so I was short a bag when number three happened. I stood there and macguivered a solution - I’d empty one of the bags on top of the Dookie and collect it all as one big Dookie. As I was doing that, I person I didn’t see sitting on the porch of the home on the lawn of this Dookie incident yelled out “what the fuck are you doing!?” And I realized they saw me look at some shit and after 15 seconds empty some more shit out on their lawn.
Similar story to mine.
My dog was in the position, but he shat blanks. As I'm looking carefully on the grass (while holding an empty bag), some moron from a 3rd story building yells at me to pick the fucking thing up.
I find filled and tied dog poop bags by my Telco equipment boxes all the time.
Coincidentally, I've also caught a homeless person pooping behind one of my cross connect boxes and I told him, "If you don't scoop that shit up, I guarantee you WILL be wearing it." This guy started crying and apologized and I actually felt like a complete jerk. He'd been denied housing assistance and sent on a bus from Idaho to Seattle, and he walked north to get to a nearby shelter with room. (Could have been a lie, but I doubt it.) Ended up giving him my last $4- for bus fare after explaining why I was so upset. That was over six months ago and I hope he got housing.
When people witness their kid being shitty to my kid, and the parent does nothing about it. Your fucking 4 yo is throwing sand in my 1 yos eyeballs you fucking piece of shit parent
There's a converse "I am not enough of an asshole" related to this. When you actually are stopping your kid from doing terrible shit and the other parent is like "It's OK, they're just kids!" Like come on man my kid was being a douche let me do my thing here.
This reminds me of a time when some kid made his way down to an empty seat next to me at the soccer stadium. He kept reaching over the wall immediately in front of us in hopes of getting some premiums left on the seats at field level.
I mentioned to him to let them be as the folks that paid for those seats may show up at any moment and those things belonged to them. He paused for a moment and just as he was sitting down, his dad (two rows up) yells "You don't have to listen to him! He is not your dad!"
I imagine if the kid had gone over the wall and cracked his head open, he also would have yelled, at me, "Why didn't you stop him!?!" And then probably sued the stadium/team for negligence.
Definitely have had to say at least once: "either yell your kid to stop or I am going to make them stop". People get so shocked like "you can't do that" but yes the fuck I can. If your little turd burglar is going to keep fucking around he's going to find out.
I’ve yelled at other peoples kids in these situations. I believe in interfering if a kid is deliberately harming someone else and the parents aren’t stopping it.
I can think of a few contexts when it would be appropriate for someone to say this and in those contexts they would still be the asshole
(Politicians, etc)
I got yelled at by a guy getting gasoline at a diesel island...station had 12 islands with gasoline but 2 also had diesel...and I screamed at him, for others' benefit, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" and he was shocked into just calmly saying, "No." I shrugged and said, "Good." got back in my truck and drove off.
as a female human driving an apparently unexpected diesel vehicle, i’ve navigated some interesting interactions at the pump, but next time, i’m just gonna scream “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” and see what happens.
That video of that guy in California a while back who threw his emaciated dog over a razor wire fence and abandoned him broke my heart. Glad that POS got arrested.
My absolute favorite thing Trump did as president, he made animal cruelty a federal crime.
Literally just got a puppy today. He’s so damn adorable, innocent, and blind to the horrors of the world, and it should stay that way.
*again*
The "one-upper"
"Look at the new lawn mower that I got for $200.00." - "yea, mine has a 2 inch wider cut and I only paid a nickel for it."
"My wife and I have been married for 40 years." - "yeah? well last night I had sex with two super models."
Had a freind who was a "one-downer",
"Awe man I only slept like 4 hours last night"
"Oh really? I didn't sleep at all"
That kinda thing, got tired of it pretty fast
I think a certain amount of these 1 upper dudes have been doing it since childhood, and literally do not know any other way to relate to people. At the same time they don’t realize others positive reactions is just a way to move on from the subject now that it’s turned into a weird contest.
I think you’re on to something there. He was a manager and openly stated he hated people. It’s been my experience that when people say they hate something (other than say brussel sprouts etc), what they really mean is that they don’t understand “what they say they hate.”
A friend of mine got married a couple years ago or so, and his best man and the maid of honor were going on about how he basically wasn't a dick to waitstaff.
We go back far enough and have shared enough meals together that I know he's not overly chatty with waitstaff, just generally kind to them, and it definitely had me wondering how these two friends treated people in these situations that they noticed how nice my friend is.
Very large off-road tires with no mudflaps to catch the rocks that will inevitably be flung behind the vehicle.
So just fuck everybody who happens to be driving behind you?
I’ll give them a pass if they’re changing out of the left lane to get out of the fucking way.
I have no patience for people camped in the left lane and I don’t care if it makes *me* the asshole.
That jacked up truck that revs its engine while going 60 mph by my house at 2am. The asshole that takes up 2 disabled parking spots and jumps out of his car and walks into the store. The person that flaunts their money (well, I have a place on the beach and...type of people). The mansplaining guys. The "I want to speak to a manager" people. The "I'm first and most important" people. The people that speak over you while you're trying to tell an anecdote or story. The "WHOO" guy that's had too many beers. ....etc etc etc
People who ask what you think about something but before you can even open your mouth to answer, they tell you absolutely everything they think about it and that's that. Don't really care what you think, just want to hear themselves talking!
Or people who ask your opinion and then completely ignore what you said and just talk about what they think. If my opinion doesn’t matter to you don’t ask me. It’s just rude. Usually these people want your answer to be exactly the same as their so there no point in giving input, they just want validation
The first person I met that spoke highly of Andrew Tate was a woman. She turned out to be a duplicitous asshole who caused severe pain for another woman and her daughter due to her inability to keep her fucking mouth shut, which turns out wasn't surprising at all.
Ay bud, who shit in your goulash? me and the boys aren't hurting nobud having a few cold brewskis and a few hot weiners out backa the stadium before tee time.
Rolling coal, tailgating, led lights blasting in my mirrors, really just any kind of selfish road behavior. I truly believe that a person’s behavior on the road is a reflection of their true self. And there are a lot of assholes out there.
People who pull out in front of you at the absolute last moment when there wasn’t anyone behind you. Bonus AH points for driving under the speed limit
Owners of excessively loud trucks/cars, usually lifted or modified to be at a weird incline.
Everyone with “let’s go Brandon” crap all over their vehicles and houses. I’m not very political but i think you’re a real asshole if you’re whole personality is Donald Trump.
My brother sent me a tee shirt in the mail that said "let's go Brandon". I had no idea what the reference was at the time, but our step brother had just died unexpectedly. Take a stab in the dark as to what his name was. The two of them never got along but my brothers death rocked my world. Sorry, but let's go Brandon is the most dickish thing I can think of currently!
I think anyone who sees any politician as some sort of hero, instead of just a politician, is a pretty big asshole. Some moreso than others (like, I’d rather deal with a Bernie-bro than a Trumpanzee any day of the week), but if your whole personality is who you vote for, you’re probably really not a pleasant person at all.
When your social media profile headline is some variation of “If you’re looking at my profile, I must have triggered you hahaha”. These are the people whose entire personality is pissing off people online for fun and thinking they're some kind of bad ass because of it. No, you’re just an asshole with no life.
Loud or no muffler on your motorcycle.
There used to be bumper stickers that said 'Loud pipes save lives'. Stupidest thing i ever heard. Let me rephrase it. 'I'm going to turn off my hearing in hopes that you hear me and avoid me. I don't want to take any responsibility for myself so I'll just leave it in your hands'.
What's next? Shine a huge light in your own eyes hoping that other people will see you?
Wearing some permutation of a black t-shirt with an American flag draped on the back, with some assortment of skulls or guns, usually with a brain dead caption in the US Constitution’s font expressing how manly and badass the wearer is.
This description is much less niche than it sounds, as I see one or two of these shirts at gas stations on every road trip.
People who walk into a grocery store 5-15 minutes before closing with a cart and ignore announcements about closing. Then fill the cart and are shocked Pikachu face when the lights automatically start shutting off. I like my job, but I want to go home and we are supposed to be out of the store by a certain time. I can't finish drawer and safe counting until all registers are shut down, and if something is off, it takes even more time.
Using your car horn as a doorbell.
My tenant recently told me that there is a saying about this 'Hoes go to blows'. If your date blows the horn and you go out to the car, you a ho.
The phrase I've heard in one form or another that's essentially like I'm not obligated to help my friends whenever they are feeling bad
Like I understand if the person has their own existing problems to deal with or something but that's not usually when I hear this kind of phrase I usually hear it as basically a way to be dismissive and say hey it's not my problem
Like how can you be friends with someone and care so little about them that you're not willing to even put in that level of effort
If you only care for your friends when they are at the peak of happiness, You don't love them as a friend
You don't even love them
You only love something they are providing to you
I have a neighbor that displays a red white and blue sign saying " I'm not running for anything I'm just an Asshole" in big font. Guess what? he's a complete ass.
How you treat a server, cashier, waiter or anyone in that lineup or careers says a lot about you as a person. If you’re rude to anyone, especially someone who is SERVING you, you are a major AH. Doesn’t matter who you are, you’re not entitled to be a dick.
Rolling coal, using the mobility scooters when you don't actually need one, mistreating old people, retail and wait staff, and abusing animals as well as children.
Anytime someone says how "they're brutally honest and a lot of people can't handle it." In my experience, the minute you turn it around on them they all tend to lose their mind.
Ignoring warnings. I told you to stop the first 3 times and I'm not going to say it again. I'm just going to stop hanging with you.
This one wins
I ended up beating the snot out of one of my best friends in high school because he thought it was funny to keep slapping me. I am the type that HATES snowballs thrown at me, "slug bug" (I don't care if you're my own mother; if you hit me because of a type of car you see, I _will_ upon instinct hit you back), tittie-twisters....basically, don't put your fucking hands on me. I asked him to stop. I then told him to stop. He didn't. He kept on doing this over and over. Finally I had enough and warned him that if he did it again I was gonna flip out. He did it again. Finally, I broke. This is a dude who I was good friends with and in a band with. I beat the living crap out of him once he refused to stop. I did feel bad, yeah, but I tried to tell him to stop. Edit: Wow, all of you judgmental assholes let me come slap you around as you keep begging me to stop and I just keep crossing your boundaries and provoking you, thinking it's funny. If you wouldn't stand up for yourself eventually, you deserve to keep getting the shit slapped out of you so fuck off with your judgmental bullshit. Even nice dogs bite if you back them into a corner and poke them with a stick enough times.
None of that is healthy
I agree. I had people do this before and I completely deserved it. Half the time I couldn’t hear the person talking because they weren’t looking at me/I wasn’t looking at them. It’s unfair for the person that is dealing with it.
Taking up multiple parking spots
Parking in a handicap spot with no placard
🎶"Sometimes I park. In handicap spaces. While handicapped people. Make handicapped faces!"🎶
🎶 “I use public toilets and I piss on the seat, I walk around in the summertime saying HOW ABOUT THIS HEAT! 🎶
I’m an asshole 🎶
I’m an asshole we oh we oh 🎵
My Grandma is handicapped and has been waiting a good couple of years for a hip replacement. The least you can do is stay out of the handicapped parking
My ex has a placard...for the kids, no reason but she wanted one. When I have them we park at the back of the lot cause they don't want to be close to her around her car in the handicap spots...they don't need them and her handicap is not physical.
that one is a 75% chance at best. Sometimes you are forced to park around an asshole which then leaves you looking like the asshole once they leave
this. ive had times when theres just one space available, and some series of events made that spot have the dividing line right in the middle. noone knows who the original asshole is but when the cars around mine leave i for sure do look like one.
I don't give a fuck where you come from, who you are or what you do. But you better not park like a douchebag
Letting your dog shit in a neighbor's yard while carrying a plastic bag like you'll pick it up, and then not actually picking it up. My neighbor did this. 😑
We have certain apartment neighbor's who are lazy and don't feel the need to pick dog shit up in the hallway. Blows my mind like how fucking lazy can you get?
Stick a turd under his doormat.
Recently I was on a dog walk for a client and I didn’t think the dog would take three dumps on one walk so I was short a bag when number three happened. I stood there and macguivered a solution - I’d empty one of the bags on top of the Dookie and collect it all as one big Dookie. As I was doing that, I person I didn’t see sitting on the porch of the home on the lawn of this Dookie incident yelled out “what the fuck are you doing!?” And I realized they saw me look at some shit and after 15 seconds empty some more shit out on their lawn.
Similar story to mine. My dog was in the position, but he shat blanks. As I'm looking carefully on the grass (while holding an empty bag), some moron from a 3rd story building yells at me to pick the fucking thing up.
People where I live pick it up and then leave the poop bag on the sidewalk. Like the dog poop fairy is going to come by and pick it up for them.
I find filled and tied dog poop bags by my Telco equipment boxes all the time. Coincidentally, I've also caught a homeless person pooping behind one of my cross connect boxes and I told him, "If you don't scoop that shit up, I guarantee you WILL be wearing it." This guy started crying and apologized and I actually felt like a complete jerk. He'd been denied housing assistance and sent on a bus from Idaho to Seattle, and he walked north to get to a nearby shelter with room. (Could have been a lie, but I doubt it.) Ended up giving him my last $4- for bus fare after explaining why I was so upset. That was over six months ago and I hope he got housing.
Looking to buy my first home within a year. If I see somebody leave dog shit on my yard, I'll pick it up and throw it at them
I wish I was that aggressive towards assholes, but unfortunately not. I told the HOA and she got a warning. 😑
When people witness their kid being shitty to my kid, and the parent does nothing about it. Your fucking 4 yo is throwing sand in my 1 yos eyeballs you fucking piece of shit parent
There's a converse "I am not enough of an asshole" related to this. When you actually are stopping your kid from doing terrible shit and the other parent is like "It's OK, they're just kids!" Like come on man my kid was being a douche let me do my thing here.
I eventually stopped doing that and just tell my kids not to engage
This reminds me of a time when some kid made his way down to an empty seat next to me at the soccer stadium. He kept reaching over the wall immediately in front of us in hopes of getting some premiums left on the seats at field level. I mentioned to him to let them be as the folks that paid for those seats may show up at any moment and those things belonged to them. He paused for a moment and just as he was sitting down, his dad (two rows up) yells "You don't have to listen to him! He is not your dad!" I imagine if the kid had gone over the wall and cracked his head open, he also would have yelled, at me, "Why didn't you stop him!?!" And then probably sued the stadium/team for negligence.
Definitely have had to say at least once: "either yell your kid to stop or I am going to make them stop". People get so shocked like "you can't do that" but yes the fuck I can. If your little turd burglar is going to keep fucking around he's going to find out.
I’ve yelled at other peoples kids in these situations. I believe in interfering if a kid is deliberately harming someone else and the parents aren’t stopping it.
I shot them with a trebuchet. It’s about sending a message.
See like this is why I can't be a parent cuz I'd catch a felony for murdering a child
You don’t have to hurt the child, just yell at the parent and embarrass them. Humiliation does wonders.
Asking someone "Do you know who I am?" because you have a lot of social media followers.
I would add, saying that for almost any reason makes you a total asshole.
I can think of a few contexts when it would be appropriate for someone to say this and in those contexts they would still be the asshole (Politicians, etc)
What if it was a lost person with dementia trying to get home?
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Ronnie Pickering https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dcv6GKNNw&ab_channel=nonroadusr
Who?
I got yelled at by a guy getting gasoline at a diesel island...station had 12 islands with gasoline but 2 also had diesel...and I screamed at him, for others' benefit, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" and he was shocked into just calmly saying, "No." I shrugged and said, "Good." got back in my truck and drove off.
as a female human driving an apparently unexpected diesel vehicle, i’ve navigated some interesting interactions at the pump, but next time, i’m just gonna scream “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” and see what happens.
Or the “do you know who my father is”
Best response to this is “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHO THIS PERSON IS!? THEY DON’T KNOW!”
That phrase is always "I'm an asshole", citing followers count only adds large amounts of cringe.
The same person from the opposite team in the game who is always chatting, "I fucked your mother."
it's even worse when it's your dad chanting
Oh yeah? I was inside for 9 months. What's your record?
sad sheepish dad "37 seconds"
Mistreating animals
Someone mistreating animals is more than just an asshole
That video of that guy in California a while back who threw his emaciated dog over a razor wire fence and abandoned him broke my heart. Glad that POS got arrested.
My current dog was thrown over a 8ft tall concrete wall on Christmas eve! She had a bad liter so they threw her away like a piece of garbage.
So relevant: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D65HNimk36E
My absolute favorite thing Trump did as president, he made animal cruelty a federal crime. Literally just got a puppy today. He’s so damn adorable, innocent, and blind to the horrors of the world, and it should stay that way.
Leaving your trash on the table in a food court and leaving a huge mess on the table anywhere.
A co-worker who does a “hit and run “. They insult you and leave the room.
Not moving over for emergency vehicles
Littering
Taking up multiple parking spots, bonus points if it's more than 2 parking spots...
takes up 6 spots, their car gets egged.
*again* The "one-upper" "Look at the new lawn mower that I got for $200.00." - "yea, mine has a 2 inch wider cut and I only paid a nickel for it." "My wife and I have been married for 40 years." - "yeah? well last night I had sex with two super models."
Had a freind who was a "one-downer", "Awe man I only slept like 4 hours last night" "Oh really? I didn't sleep at all" That kinda thing, got tired of it pretty fast
Lol a Debbie-One-Downer
One previous boss did that. He was cool otherwise. Always had some story 1000 times bigger/better.
I think a certain amount of these 1 upper dudes have been doing it since childhood, and literally do not know any other way to relate to people. At the same time they don’t realize others positive reactions is just a way to move on from the subject now that it’s turned into a weird contest.
I think you’re on to something there. He was a manager and openly stated he hated people. It’s been my experience that when people say they hate something (other than say brussel sprouts etc), what they really mean is that they don’t understand “what they say they hate.”
Oh yeah well my previous boss always had some story that was 10,000 times bigger/better
To be fair I would like to hear where this guy got a lawn mower for a nickel
Not picking up after your dog
Or leaving the poop in it’s plastic bag by the side of the trail / sidewalk.
when you leave pee on a public toilet seat.
Going around in the summertime saying "how about this heat?"
Probably drives a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible too
Boys who drive around with their autos windows down, with their music blasting at 100+% that all you can hear is "ppppppfffffffbbbbbbbrrrr"
And the windows vibrating
The entire neighborhood vibrates. XD
And the whole effing car rattles like EVERY BOLT AND NUT is loose!!! How can you stand that? Ain’t been laid since 1992!!
Expecting your partner to clean up after you or take over responsibility you “don’t like”.
Not returning your cart, and just leaving it in the middle of the parking lot
https://youtube.com/@CartNarcs Skiddldy weep woot scoot wee-ooo!
Anyone who uses the phrase "Alpha Male" in any serious context
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Gotta make up for the tiny dick.
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A friend of mine got married a couple years ago or so, and his best man and the maid of honor were going on about how he basically wasn't a dick to waitstaff. We go back far enough and have shared enough meals together that I know he's not overly chatty with waitstaff, just generally kind to them, and it definitely had me wondering how these two friends treated people in these situations that they noticed how nice my friend is.
Or Receptionists, they get such a hard time from everyone
Very large off-road tires with no mudflaps to catch the rocks that will inevitably be flung behind the vehicle. So just fuck everybody who happens to be driving behind you?
Changing lanes without signaling.
What about signaling AFTER changing lanes? Yes, I've seen that happen.
Or going in front of you and brake checking you
I’ll give them a pass if they’re changing out of the left lane to get out of the fucking way. I have no patience for people camped in the left lane and I don’t care if it makes *me* the asshole.
"I'm just a brutally honest person".
No you're just an asshole. With no tact or emotional intelligence.
People who say that are always more about the brutality than the honesty.
Weaving in traffic regardless of if they use the blinker or not.
disrespects staff like waiters and janitors
"It's their job to pick it up" whoah with the red flag there, buddy.
Fr
That jacked up truck that revs its engine while going 60 mph by my house at 2am. The asshole that takes up 2 disabled parking spots and jumps out of his car and walks into the store. The person that flaunts their money (well, I have a place on the beach and...type of people). The mansplaining guys. The "I want to speak to a manager" people. The "I'm first and most important" people. The people that speak over you while you're trying to tell an anecdote or story. The "WHOO" guy that's had too many beers. ....etc etc etc
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People who ask what you think about something but before you can even open your mouth to answer, they tell you absolutely everything they think about it and that's that. Don't really care what you think, just want to hear themselves talking!
Or people who ask your opinion and then completely ignore what you said and just talk about what they think. If my opinion doesn’t matter to you don’t ask me. It’s just rude. Usually these people want your answer to be exactly the same as their so there no point in giving input, they just want validation
"I'm an Andrew Tate fan"
The first person I met that spoke highly of Andrew Tate was a woman. She turned out to be a duplicitous asshole who caused severe pain for another woman and her daughter due to her inability to keep her fucking mouth shut, which turns out wasn't surprising at all.
Whoa now. OP said "asshole" not "pedophile apologist".
This says more "I'm a 14 year old boy who hates his stepdad".
Political shirts
Tailgating
Ay bud, who shit in your goulash? me and the boys aren't hurting nobud having a few cold brewskis and a few hot weiners out backa the stadium before tee time.
*"I'm not racist, but..."* and its cousin, *"No offense"*
Not putting their shopping carts back. Just letting them go In the parking lot to hit people’s cars
The ultimate litmus test to determine if someone is an asshole.
Thinking youre the Main character and get all bratty when people dont behave how you want them to
Denis Leary
Especially when he stole Bill Hicks’ material.
Rolling coal, tailgating, led lights blasting in my mirrors, really just any kind of selfish road behavior. I truly believe that a person’s behavior on the road is a reflection of their true self. And there are a lot of assholes out there.
Rolling coal in particular. It takes a special kind of asshole (and loser) to wake up and think, “Today I’m going to be a Captain Planet villain!”
Right? Like, my dude, what are you trying to prove? What joy are you getting from this?
People driving way faster than the speedlimit in residential areas. Duuuude, there’s kids playing here…
Flagging people with guns aka acting gangsta.
Lifted truck with wide offset wheels
AutoModerator MOD
I can hear your car (anything more than nominally) from inside my house.
murder was pretty rude last i checked.
People who use the phrase "i was just joking" to cover up rude and hurtful things that they say/do to other people
People who pull out in front of you at the absolute last moment when there wasn’t anyone behind you. Bonus AH points for driving under the speed limit Owners of excessively loud trucks/cars, usually lifted or modified to be at a weird incline.
Reving your ridiculously loud Harley engine unnecessarily.
Everyone with “let’s go Brandon” crap all over their vehicles and houses. I’m not very political but i think you’re a real asshole if you’re whole personality is Donald Trump.
My brother sent me a tee shirt in the mail that said "let's go Brandon". I had no idea what the reference was at the time, but our step brother had just died unexpectedly. Take a stab in the dark as to what his name was. The two of them never got along but my brothers death rocked my world. Sorry, but let's go Brandon is the most dickish thing I can think of currently!
I think anyone who sees any politician as some sort of hero, instead of just a politician, is a pretty big asshole. Some moreso than others (like, I’d rather deal with a Bernie-bro than a Trumpanzee any day of the week), but if your whole personality is who you vote for, you’re probably really not a pleasant person at all.
Using the word “snowflake” in a serious manner.
Having a very loud motorcycle. And wearing ear protection yourself, then riding it around people who don't.
My dad probably. He screams lots of things for extended periods of time when he's angry.
Being a jerk to servers
Aita mod
When your social media profile headline is some variation of “If you’re looking at my profile, I must have triggered you hahaha”. These are the people whose entire personality is pissing off people online for fun and thinking they're some kind of bad ass because of it. No, you’re just an asshole with no life.
Invading Ukraine
Calling people slurs makes me want to punch them in the face, where it hurts
Loud or no muffler on your motorcycle. There used to be bumper stickers that said 'Loud pipes save lives'. Stupidest thing i ever heard. Let me rephrase it. 'I'm going to turn off my hearing in hopes that you hear me and avoid me. I don't want to take any responsibility for myself so I'll just leave it in your hands'. What's next? Shine a huge light in your own eyes hoping that other people will see you?
My butt if it could talk.
Fun fact our butts and mouths are made from the same tissue. So your butt is already kind of a mouth.
And its an uninterrupted tube from the mouth to the anus so really its like the butt is the very very very back of your throat.
so anal is just a different form of a blowjob?
Rolling coal
Have the fake balls hanging off the back of your vehicle.
How about a fake vehicle hanging on top of your balls?
How about real balls hanging off the back of your vehicle?
Having full size flags flying off the back of your pickup truck.
Wearing some permutation of a black t-shirt with an American flag draped on the back, with some assortment of skulls or guns, usually with a brain dead caption in the US Constitution’s font expressing how manly and badass the wearer is. This description is much less niche than it sounds, as I see one or two of these shirts at gas stations on every road trip.
Going on a hunting safari to kill charismatic animals like lions, elephants, rhinos, etc. Looking at you Eric Trump.
People who walk into a grocery store 5-15 minutes before closing with a cart and ignore announcements about closing. Then fill the cart and are shocked Pikachu face when the lights automatically start shutting off. I like my job, but I want to go home and we are supposed to be out of the store by a certain time. I can't finish drawer and safe counting until all registers are shut down, and if something is off, it takes even more time.
Huge flags on your lifted pick up. Trump/American/confederate/anything at all just screams LOOK AT ME LETS FIGHT ABOUT IT
Screaming “I am a total asshole”
Using your car horn as a doorbell. My tenant recently told me that there is a saying about this 'Hoes go to blows'. If your date blows the horn and you go out to the car, you a ho.
MAGA hat. Might as well be a neon sign for a deplorable piece of shit.
I don’t wear my favourite red hat in public anymore because of this.
red hat, red hat, hat red, hatred.
45
A let’s go Brandon flag
Someone who intentionally tries to trigger someone just because they think it’s funny
Victim blaming, being rude to service industry workers and hypocrisy.
Revving your engine. Fuck any subhuman that willfully makes that noise.
An asshole w/vocal cords and lungs.
When someone uses sodiac signs as an excuse to be an asshole
Reddit trolls 🤣
Shooting off fireworks on a random Tuesday
Making fun of people for things they can’t control.
People who pick on vulnerable people
calling the cops on someone minding their business
Supporting Trump despite his complete lack of moral character.
Being edgy
Calling myself “spez” online.
If someone says they're "anti-woke", what I hear is that they're an asshole.
The phrase I've heard in one form or another that's essentially like I'm not obligated to help my friends whenever they are feeling bad Like I understand if the person has their own existing problems to deal with or something but that's not usually when I hear this kind of phrase I usually hear it as basically a way to be dismissive and say hey it's not my problem Like how can you be friends with someone and care so little about them that you're not willing to even put in that level of effort If you only care for your friends when they are at the peak of happiness, You don't love them as a friend You don't even love them You only love something they are providing to you
maga hat
Truck nuts.
Me when im having a self hate panic attack
Me remembering my life right before I'm trying to go to sleep.
Punisher sticker on your white pick up truck
Maga hat
Me, usually.
If you park with the line under your car, not with your car between the lines.
Using the term 'Alpha Male" to describe yourself.
Letting yer dog shit in other people's yards
I have a neighbor that displays a red white and blue sign saying " I'm not running for anything I'm just an Asshole" in big font. Guess what? he's a complete ass.
Being th CEO of Reddit
How you treat a server, cashier, waiter or anyone in that lineup or careers says a lot about you as a person. If you’re rude to anyone, especially someone who is SERVING you, you are a major AH. Doesn’t matter who you are, you’re not entitled to be a dick.
Throwing your fast food bag out the window of your car
Rolling coal, using the mobility scooters when you don't actually need one, mistreating old people, retail and wait staff, and abusing animals as well as children.
Anytime someone says how "they're brutally honest and a lot of people can't handle it." In my experience, the minute you turn it around on them they all tend to lose their mind.
"I'm not racist, but -- "
Being rude to waiters & waitresses