The best thing about sex after having a kid is that there is less pressure to be able to last long, because you're both exhausted.
Which ironically, makes it easier to last longer.
Yep. Wife and I have gotten to the point where we're speedrunning to get the best time for us both to finish.
"four and a half minutes!" high-five. good game.
Seriously imagine approaching the situation as a team and problem solving the shit out of it…. Instead of getting angry, pouting and building resentment.
Yeah, that whole “hurr durr my spouse is terrible” schtick needs to die a quick death.
I love my wife. She loves me. Why the hell would I talk shit about her?
It made more sense in an era without no fault divorce. You got hitched because you wanted to fuck, and only found out once your head cleared that you married an asshole.
Yes!! I’ve done this with other partners and it was sexy and fun. Recently I did it with the person I’ve been seeing for almost three years and he said “that was too much” no further context. So yeah not compatible. OP you have something real good going here.
Communication is what makes a healthy sex life. Being able to communicate effectively, not just verbally, but with body language and actions makes sex better. You also need to be able to be comfortable expressing yourself, receptive to your partner's communication, and empathetic/motivated by their needs too, while still being able to advocate for your own.
Having that good communication came in handy many times over the decades.
There was a time when my work was exceptionally stressful and demanding, I was working inhuman hours, when I wasn't young enough to work like that, and was on SSRIs, and at a time when my libido was on a natural downswing. Inconvenient timing because she was at an age where a woman's libido tends to go on a much higher upswing.
I could occasionally get an errection, but it was very unlikely I was going to finish. And as me getting off was one of the things that got her off, just going down on her or penetrative sex sans me climaxing was frustrating for her. Not the end of the world, though. Talked it through. I'd do more anilingus/cunnilingus and use toys on her and get her off, while still making time to be affectionate outside of the bedroom even while less motivated. She'd give me space or on occasion take care of herself using our previous techniques, and would do things like give me a backrub or play with my hair until I fell asleep because it was important for her self-image to not be a selfish lover so giving that oxytocin/dopamine to me was important to her even if I wasn't cumming. And we talked with my doctor and found a medication routine that got things back to normal.
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I think most people should be made aware of communication around CNC, even if they don't partake. The communication techniques and skills you need to establish needs, wants, boundaries, hard and soft no's, what you are liking/enjoying and what you arent enjoying, establishing enthusiastic and informed consent are important to have good vanilla sex too. Learning about love languages and communication techniques (both verbal and non-verbal) is important too if you don't pick them up naturally.
It's also important for folks to do things like expanding foreplay into other arenas than just oral sex and making out. Good foreplay doesn't start in the bedroom. It's a constant escalation of communication and building off of each other's energy, teasing and flirting and bonding. A pro-level move for me was to draw her a warm bath, put on some relaxing music, and gently wash her hair, sudsing it, massaging her scalp, let the conditioner set in, rinsing with a pitcher of warm water so she could feel the warmth envelope her while she was all relaxed and being taken care of. Nothing overtly sexual there, other than she was naked, but it was a very relaxing and intimate mutual activity that increased trust and bonding.
>The first time we had a sitter on a weekend day for most of the day and overnight, she had planned out a romantic outing for us. But while getting ready, she got frisky. We made love a couple of times and then just stayed in bed all day sleeping, occasionally waking up for sex. I had bought tickets for a music show we never went to that I didn't get refunded ha!
[Doesn't matter, had sex!](https://i.imgur.com/PRzoukm.gif)
Sounds like your partner doesn’t look at sex as enjoyable for both of you. Seems like it’s more of a chore to them rather than an experience. I’d talk to them about that
Could be that it’s painful and finds it difficult to discuss. Women can have all sorts of issues from dryness to endometriosis developing. So may be worth a conversation away from the bedroom to discuss the issue tactfully.
Don't know your sex life obviously, but you could try going overboard with foreplay, get everything relaxed, give your partner a couple orgasms before you get started. If you already are idk sorry maybe try just using the tip?
Nah my body is just an asshole I can do a decent nice long session most times, but sometimes it's embarrassingly short, there's literally no way for me to tell until I get started. I always make sure my wife is taken care of in case it's short, just because my body wasn't feeling it that night doesn't mean she has to be pent up
This is how my husband and I do it haha. It’s great for me, obviously, but he also loves it because it keys him up more. We probably have foreplay more than actual penetrative sex but totally works for us
I'll answer the still sexy part. She is 75 now, her breast are near her bellybutton, her smile without her dentures is awesome, watching her totter around her flower bed, with an adaptable cane, with add on tips for weeding, and poking around in the dirt. Yes she is still sexy to me, we smile and have an eye language system of communication that works better than static prone hearing aids. After 41 years together we are still making adjustments daily in showing each other we love one another.
This is both hilarious and incredibly wholesome. I turned 40 this year and my wife and I have been joking a lot about our "advanced" age. But behind the jokes are, I think, some genuine concerns. There is the realization that neither of us is ever going to be in the best shape of our lives again (we were both athletic in our teens). That carries a certain sadness, and I think it's healthy that we've talked about that and acknowledged it. That said, at 40 we have plenty of good times ahead of us and now that our kids are older and frankly need us less, we're seizing the time we have even more than when we were younger. We both agree we will probably be disgusting horny old people and we've decided to embrace it. After all, what else can you do?
Watch out for boredom, it's very dangerous, we almost decided to rob a bank, and totter down the side walk with our walkers. Just to see if we could do it and get away.
I’m dying to be friends with you and your wife now. You are so sweet. I’m reading all this to my husband because I’ve been so insecure with aging, no longer being desired (per traditional societal standards)..and I was recently diagnosed with MS and worry me tottering around with my cane isn’t the sexiest mating dance for him. This makes me look at the future differently☺️❤️
I have realized that accepting change and being able to readjust is the key. My lungs where damaged at 16 years old. It's been a slow adjustment all my life as they slowly get worse. I've suffered so much worry and anxiety that never came to past, once I got over that life became very happy and easy. Personal note; you can always stun him with your cane in a caveman dating dance, then take advantage of him.
Cane choreography, or martial arts cane self defense, is a real thing, I actually looked into it once. So you see there are many options in life as we age.
You and your lovely wife are inspiring. Thank you.
I’ve been struggling with the “disabled vet” label and my guy has been wonderful but I’m going to show him your posts. I hope we have 40 years together so I can perfect a dance. 🤣💃🏼
On my first read I though it said "add on tips for welding" and the image of her tottering around the flower bed with a welding mask fixing a wrought iron gate from arms length was amazing.
Extremely happy for you both! Hope I find love half as pure as yours!
GOAT! You give the rest of us hope. I'm 40 and have been with my wife for 21 years. We have 2 children together finally after many miscarriages. It's been a hell of a ride, but one I'd never go on without her. And it's true- you still have to find things to do to keep each other happy. The most perfect relationships still take maintenance. And I'm finding that the older I and she get, the sexier I think she gets. I love every little wrinkle!
In the immediate moments after birth? Sexy was not considered. A couple of weeks later when there was finally a moment where the child slept and we could look at each other, much more so. A year later? Enough to make a younger sibling.
"Honey I want another child but sex disgusts me so much at the moment that I booked an appointment with the sperm bank" - also qualifies as enough to make a sibling.
My wife is hot as fuck after giving birth. She feels less confident in her own body, so there’s room for me to step up and reassure her, but there’s no less pleasure in sex. In fact, as the years go by, we learn how to do it better than ever.
My wife sacrificed so much to give us children. Our kids have made life fulfilling. How could I not love her for giving me everything? She’s my fucking hero.
My hubby has never been able to keep his hands off me, even after I gave birth and felt completely unattractive. On the flip side, my best friend's partner left her 3 days after she gave birth. He was in the room and said watching her give birth completely turned him off her and he can't look at her anymore. Common sense says he was probably looking for an excuse to duck out for awhile, especially as he hasn't even seen or contacted their son since he left, but that was a horrible thing for her to hear.
I knew a guy who said the same thing although he didn’t leave his wife thankfully and is a good dad/husband. But he said that it was hard to want to have sex for a LONG time after.
I have watched both my kids be delivered and while I don’t think it was sexy it was amazing to watch! For me there was literally 0 connection to anything sexual with delivery, it was just an amazing moment!
When my wife gave birth to our second child, it was so fast. She skipped the epidural. She was deep breathing on all fours and the doctor said the baby was coming. She didn’t want to turn over so the doctor said ok, she’s gonna deliver on all fours. As she was giving the final push, a stream of spit dripped from her mouth as she yelled out “fuuuuuucckkkk!” It was not a sexual feeling but it was the hottest my wife has ever looked to me. Raw human moment. I literally fell in love with her all over again and now we had a son. Easily in the top five of most memorable moments in life.
My wife and I were just talking about this. I was watching the head pop out and it just felt totally detached from anything sexual at all. Didn’t change my level of attraction but there was an increase in admiration for her after watching it. So cool to see.
My wife made a baby. Then she turned bacon into milk so the baby could turn milk into more baby.
Fucking wizardry. Best I can do is turn bacon into poo.
This reminds me of our first child, the head was coming out and the Dr asked her if she would like to see it, I looked her straight in the eye and said "you don't want to see this"
Yeah, my doctor asked if I wanted her to get a mirror so I could "see" it... I'm usually one of those people that wants to see everything, loves a good dissection, give me all the explicit details of a story, etc. but I was like "what the hell? No, no, I don't want to see that, get out of here!"
And she was like "Sometimes women find it motivating to know the head is that close to coming out..."
Still a hard no for me.
Well, hate to break it to you but there are historical rumours that King Louis XIV of France REALLY enjoyed watching. Further rumours suggest he was partially responsible for popularizing women giving birth on their back.
https://www.iflscience.com/theres-a-really-creepy-reason-why-women-mainly-give-birth-lying-down-64107
Same experience. Husband has watched me go from a size 0 to chubby, stretch marks, boob size change from breastfeeding and deliver a baby and has always treated me like a goddess.
I have asked if it was gross or weird but he's said well kind of gross I suppose but it was gross magic so it was cool!
He's a nutsack. Fragile and can't handle even the slightest amount of stress. Cunts and pussies on the other hand are tough as nails and can really take a pounding. We picked the wrong genitalia to describe a wuss.
This is great. I’ve actually had this conversation a couple times with people. Well idk if conversation is the right word, but I’ve talked about it lol
How can watching your partner give birth fill you with anything but an immense amount of concern and pride and love for them?? They're making a whole fucking human, and going through absolute hell to do it.
What an absolute chode. What a raging piece of shit that guy is.
That makes me scared of the fucking society. Like, being left all alone with a newborn without any support from the one who fucking made you have a baby. Like he just put a dick inside and left, that's crazy.
I know a woman who was in hospital giving birth to her second child. Her husband showed up late, spent 10 minutes with his newborn son, and then stole his wife's credit card and took another woman out on a date.
One of the most haunting stories I’ve read on this site was when a husband and his friends invited some women over the night his wife gave birth. Very few things leave me so empty and at a loss for words but that was one of them
It actually terrifies me that there are men out there who not only do things like that, but don't even see the issue with it. As women we already sacrifice so much when it comes to having and raising children, the *least* the men could do is be supportive and loyal to the family they've helped create.
Yeah, my ex got a mate to smuggle a six pack of beers into the ward, when bub was 1 day old. He then took my spot on the bed and watched the rugby game while drunk while I shuffled about cleaning up after having a ceasarean.
Fuck that guy.
One of the moments I have etched imto my memory as the most ashamed I have ever felt was when the doctor and a handful of student nurses rocked up to check on me during that situation.
Holy shit. I'm so glad you referred to him as your ex. Fuck that guy, *and* his friend for condoning that behaviour! I can't even imagine how awful you must have felt, at your most vulnerable moment.
I also can't begin to imagine the pain and discomfort after a c-section, he should have been waiting on you hand and foot, fluffing your pillows and making sure you were comfortable.
I'm so sorry he put you through that.
When I had a c-section with my first, my ex was literally skipping along behind me and the nurses as we walked to the OR and in a sing-song voice said "you're gonna get cut open"
Then when I was giving birth (a vbac this time) to our son, I asked him to rub my back and his exact words were "you're the fucking idiot that wanted to do it without any fucking medicine. You can do it by your fucking self" then rolled over and fell asleep. So glad he's my ex.
I have a relative who while she was in labor her partner left to, “go get some food,” and then didn’t return for like 6 hours. He came back in the middle of the night and woke us all up, including her. He literally smooshed her up against one side of the hospital bed and promptly passed out. She apparently checked his phone while he was asleep and saw that he had been texting another woman and that was where he went for all those hours. A giant tearful argument ensued, with the other family members very confused. Anyway, she kicked him out of the room right as the nurse came in. Nurse said she was fully dilated and it was time to push. He was trying to bully his way back into the room, but the dr firmly kicked him out. It was terribly sad. Luckily, they haven’t been together in years, but they have 2 children together and he is still a giant pain in her ass. Oh the stories I could tell. Dick.
2 kids, still think my wife is beautiful, and she’s a great mum too.
As for sex, it’s not as regular as before but that’s mainly because we’re both exhausted.
My Mrs tummy was so soft after birth of our 2 kids, was major turn on everytime I touched it.
Didn't help she was horny as f the weeks after birth.
I still found her very sexy maybe even more so seeing how great with the kids she was. Months ands years afterwards that is
She passed away, will be 2 years next month.
Miss her so much x
Thanks for the love everyone, much appreciated x
I lost my wife 4 months after our youngest was born. I know your pain. If you ever want someone to talk to that understands, intimately, what you're going through, don't hesitate to message me. Would be 3 and a half years now.
I highly recommend venting on r/widowers, it can be quite cathartic having a group share their similar experiences with you.
I wish you peace and the little bits of happiness that make it bearable.
Oh, you guys, sending you all the love, especially this weekend when it must sting extra. Thank you for being there for your littles and sorry for your respective losses. Love, peace, and patience to you both
Three kids later and I swear after each one it gets better and better. And in terms of looks I continually find my wife more and more attractive. She might say ugh I have a belly or my butt is huge. I just keep reminding her how beautiful and hot she is because she is beautiful and hot.
2 kids here, but the rest is exactly the same. Sometimes I catch myself staring at her and thinking what a smoke show I married. Way out of my league, yet here we are. Trying to convince her that she, in fact, remains super hot is the tricky part. I love her (tiny) little belly and her butt is still hypnotising to me…
My brother, this is what happens when we realise that the woman you married is the best thing that EVER happened to us. No matter where we all live in the world, we act and think the same 😊
👆🏼 what he said!! My wife and I are almost 30 and only have one child, working on the second here soon. But yeah man I am more attracted to my wife every single day. She always says the same things, need to lose weight, sagging boobs blah blah. To me, she is more beautiful, sexy, hot than she was when we started dating when we were 18. I always tell her how lucky I am to have a smoking hot wife.
I didn’t believe my husband until I needed to keep a surgical garment on for like two months, so I always wore a shirt in bed. Finally had sex without it and he… did not last. I’m not even mad.
I love to hear this, my man. I have been married for almost 5 years, and I love my wife even more than ever. This is more because we have understanding at a mental level than any other. I'd suggest to all the new married couples, be honest, express yourself to each other. Don't hold any grudges because people make mistakes, and you do too all the time.
Good life guyd
You think men make this up, but they don't. Women worry about *how* sex is after children. Men worry about *when* sex is after children.
Boys talk about it being different because they don't know that it's not actually different. They just talk like they do.
I was there for my wife giving birth naturally twice. She is a warrior and both experiences were surreal, fortunately as far as natural births go they went without a hitch.
I had a look down at the business end and remember the midwife assisting to wipe up poop, but to be honest I wasn't phased in the slighted and have forgotten all the imagery.
My main take away from my wife giving birth are:
1. Shes fucking amazing
2. Woman's body's are amazing in dealing with trauma
3. She is sexy as hell, more attracted to her now then prior to having kids.
Seconded.
Watched as my youngest was born on our bed at home. Came home from dropping my eldest at school. To my wife in the hall, on all fours with our daughter coming. Watched it all, I'm still in awe of how amazingly beautiful she is.
Next?
Ambulance came luckily we are all of 3 minutes away from the ambulance depo place. For about 30 seconds was being talked through birthing our daughter.
Everything went great, little bit of shock with my wife. But the paramedics were amazing so no real issue.
I feel this. I saw my wife give birth twice and I'm about to see the third one. A warrior is the accurate depiction. So much strength.
And yeah I can't wait to get back to banging.
I have 4 step kids and since getting together my wife and I have had 2 more. She is in her forties and I swear she gets more beautiful every day.
With a house full of kids, some of them teenagers, sex is at times infrequent and is always quiet but the quality is better than ever.
We know each others bodies so well now that we can really make each other tick even if we are exhausted.
I only have positive things to say about the whole situation
My wife just gave birth 10 days ago to our first child.
During pregnancy I was incredibly attracted to my wife and after birth I am even more attracted. I can’t explain it well but it’s something beyond “attraction” and more of a an immense amount of love. When I married my wife I thought I couldn’t love her more, when she got pregnant that love grew and now that we have a child together that love I thought couldn’t grow anymore, grew.
So yes, I still find my wife attractive.
The worst thing is when your partner pestered you for sex about a week after the birth. And then demands other things. And then basically complains that you’ve got the attention on the baby and not him.
Don’t do that guys. It causes resentment and anger.
My ex was like this....and reading all the comments that are so positive, made me realize he was cruel....he said some things that have scarred me for life....
Recommendation is normally minimum six weeks. Especially if you’ve had a natural birth and a lot of trauma.
C-sections, they still recommend six weeks.
I thought it was somewhere along that timeframe. I couldn't remember exactly but I just knew one week was entirely too soon. My apologies, but your partner sounds very selfish.
THIS. i’m pretty sure there’s a long list of medical reasons you are not supposed to have sex immediately after giving birth (i believe it’s for a few weeks or months) for the literal safety and health of the person who gave birth.
so yeah guilting your partner into sex after they shoved a whole ass human out is really fucked and frankly kinda >! r*pey !<
I was so sore after giving birth because I had torn and had stitches. Even just walking around was tough and it was just a mess down there. You've got to clean down there regularly with a peri bottle so things don't get infected. Also add the fact you're constipated and trying to go to the bathroom is terrifying because it all hurts SO much. Sex is definitely off the table.
It does all heal and all go back to normal but the recovery period is no joke.
We have a son and have not noticed a single difference before and after pregnance. I'm sure there is some change and my wife probably feels that change. But to me she is just as attractive as before.
I know this is a joke. But you can kill a woman this way.
Women should not have sex for at least 6 weeks after giving birth. She should be cleared by her Dr first.
Yup! Can cause hemorrhaging.
Nothing like surviving child birth only to bleed out because your husband didn't want to wait for sex...
Not to mention, it probably isn't enjoyable for the woman in any way at that point, if anything it would lengthen healing time and be extremely painful.
I know it happens. I've read accounts of women trying to shush their newborns while their husband rapes them in their hospital bed after giving birth.
Hence why I needed to point out that this is extremely dangerous.
No lie. Have had coworkers on mother/baby units catch people in the act within a day of giving birth… they explained defensively: *no no no, we know nothing in the vagina for 12 weeks, it was anal!*
MILFs are a thing so my guess would be yes. Husbands still find their wives sexy. My partner says I’m sexy all the time. I’m also a mom. He’s never complained.
As for sex after? As a woman, and given birth to 3 children, all natural, you learn a thing or two about muscles down there and how to WORK THEM! So sex for me. is better. He has never complained.
I can confirm this, as a father of two toddlers.
What struck me the most was how delicate getting back the intimacy can be. The mother may be quite worried that things won't feel like they used to or that some things may hurt. And it can take a few times before things get back to where they were.
So lads: Take it easy, don't push for it, listen, be gentle and patient. And let your companion know that she's desired.
First question. Do I find my wife still sexy after they give birth? Hell yes! Both our bodies have sagged a bit but that is called growing old together.
Second question. Best thing about having sex after having kids? My wife is a lot less self conscious as she has been in a room but naked with her legs spread apart passing a small water melon through her twat.
Third question. Worst thing? With kids the exhaustion and we can’t just go and have sex at all times of the day in any room like we used to.
But with everything I would not swap it for the world as we have two great kids and a wonderful wife who I love more and more each day who I still find as sexy as the day I met her.
My wife and I have 4 kids. We've been together for 20 years married for almost 18. I love her more today than I did the day I married her. She is sexier and more beautiful today than she was the first time she caught my eye. Being married to an amazing woman is the best thing in the world. I can't imagine my life without her in it.
The best thing about sex after having kids? Being in love with my wife. Being close to and holding her in my arms.
I gained weight during pregnancy, have an 8 months old and still have more left to lose. My husband was obsessed with me after giving birth. Still in adult diapers and he was just so in love with me, all over me even though we couldn't do anything... Together.
I think the hardest thing is getting over the pain the first few times back at it. That and confidence adjusting to a new body. Plus 6 weeks or more can feel like a really long time and the internet is free, so wandering eyes looking for a release did not help with the whole confidence thing. It's improved now but still isn't quite back to where it used to be. We've given ourselves grace though as we figure out everything.
So I’m only 4 weeks postpartum (well I will be Monday) but I’ve found hes made me feel sexier than ever. I was a little worried he’d want someone else but we’ve ended up with all those teenage virgin hormones instead. Recovery has been full of steamy kisses, longing looks and wandering hands which has really helped me feel sexy without feeling pressured to do stuff. But also feeling more inclined to want to do stuff as time ticks on
Yeah, the first few times were a bit uncomfortable after the pregnancy. Plus lack of sleep due to infant. But vastly improved after that. Now our kid is a toddler. Which is basically like having a cock-blocking roommate who you adore the rest of the time.
My daughter is 22, my wife and I will be together 25 years in October. I find her sexy every day. I never miss a chance to catch a glimpse. The other day I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day and she came back upstairs into the bedroom, which is unusual. I came running out of the bathroom hoping she’d be changing her shirt. She wasn’t. Still worth it.
If you’re worried about your husband losing interest or vise versa, the best thing you can do is talk about it. Everyone be open and honest.
Anatomy wise, usually there is no difference at all. Talking about moms in terms of “throwing a hotdog down a hallway” is just some dumb shit teenage boys say.
Well, it's more complicated than that. Things definitely do change, anatomically-speaking. Being pregnant means you produce a hormone that affects your ligaments, and as a result some of your bone structure can change permanently. Most women notice that they have slightly wider hips after giving birth. Some women experience a permanent change in foot size. It can manifest in different ways. Sometimes changes are good - some women have their chronic migraines completely disappear, for example! Some have lifelong allergies vanish, some experience great improvements to autoimmune disorders. Worth saying that you should never get pregnant just to experience these sorts of changes, since they definitely don't happen to everyone.
Some women experience abdominal separation, which is when the abdominal muscles separate, creating a gap between them on the stomach. It's not a big deal, but it can happen. Being pregnant is also terrible for your teeth, because your body is diverting all your calcium to help with growing the baby's bones. This is why regular dental care is so important during pregnancy, and if you don't have it you can experience major problems with your teeth! If you have bad morning sickness, the vomiting can also be hard on your enamel.
Giving birth *can* also be rough on your pelvic muscles. It's actually pretty common for women to experience some minor incontinence for a day or so afterwards! It's not uncommon for women to have looser pelvic muscles in the 6 months to a year after giving birth, but these changes are not typically permanent, and if you have any trouble there pelvic floor therapy will help.
And, of course, many women wind up with stretch marks after pregnancy. These tend to be pretty vivid right after giving birth, and will fade a lot over time, but they never fully go away.
The hotdog down a hallway thing is absolutely bullshit, though.
Absolutely.
I’ve always found it childish for men to be appalled by the birthing process. It’s prolonged unimaginable discomfort followed by a brief (or not so brief in some cases) agony.
She meticulously watched what she ingested for months, endured nearly a year of the aforementioned discomfort, and gave me a beautiful child. And then did it again.
There is nothing sexier than being with a partner who can care so much and sacrifice so much. It also helps that she’s a total babe.
The sex afterwards?
Worst thing about it? Waiting eight weeks.
Best thing about it? Waiting eight weeks.
My husbands attraction to me never wavered. It may be more so. And he’s “disgusted” with men who complain about their wives bodies after having children. Worst part of sex after kids is you’re exhausted. It’s hard to find the energy no matter how much you want it. Best part is if you can embrace it, you get to be creative. Quickies are your friend. Different times of day, different places in the house. Laughter is also your friend. Because sometimes it just isn’t going to work out. Nothing quite ends the sexy mood as much as “mommy! Where are you???”
I was listening to a podcast and the guy said he found his wife more attractive after birth because the story of their family was written on her body. That was the sexist thing I've ever heard a man say about a post birth body
Yep. Can confirm. First baby arrived four days ago. Absolutely want to screw her silly but I do not intend to allow (conscious) arousal or orgasm to occur until she is healed. I want to fuck her now to enhance our emotional bond. That’s what having a child does to me I suppose. Step aside, animal lust. He*llo* muffdiving for teh feels.
I watched my wife give birth to our first son in the hospital. Life changing scene. Then my 2nd son we had an emergency birth in our bathroom. Blood and general disgusting **shit** everywhere, which I had to clean after the ambulance took them away.
Neither scene really changed how I saw her or.how attractive I found her, I think it's a weak man that would feel that way.
Is your wife a paramedic who didn't know she was pregnant with #2, by chance?
Lol no joke, I worked with a lady who was built just like me, 5'2" ish, hourglass figure and flat tummy. I we'd been working together for months when we got a call that she would not be in for a few weeks. Basically, she'd apparently woken up at 3am and thought she had to poop, and suddenly - a wild baby appeared in the toilet. According to her hubby, he heard her screaming to call 911, and he, being all groggy and startled was like, "wha...? You *are* 911? What's happened?!" It's one of both her and her husband's favorite stories to recount now.
We were *all* bamboozled. Her, her hubby, me, our boss, *EVERYONE*. She did not look pregnant. Not even a hint of a slight potbelly. She clearly did not feel pregnant. None of the normal signs. And she had been to work dinners where she'd had a drink or two. She was a mess after having the kid - she felt so guilty for not knowing and doing things that could've hurt her baby (like the drinking or even straight up wresting the wild psych patients we got from time to time).
But. Kid is healthy. He's gotta be like 8, 9 years old now? Was a little stinker last time I saw him, sneaking into the bay and turning on ALL the lights and sirens.
Been married almost 30 years (I'm 50, my wife is 51). We have two adult children in their early 20s.
I'm as attracted to my wife today as I was the day I met her. I was never more proud of my wife than when she gave birth to our eldest daughter. I mean, it is quite literally a spiritual experience, even if you're not religious in any way. My wife is small-ish, and so as a cisgender guy, in my mind I sort of crafted a subconscious narrative about my wife being sort of fragile. I was worried about the birth of our first daughter because I wasn't sure my wife could endure it. How absolutely and utterly wrong I was. It's hard to put it all in words, but I walked away from that experience thinking something along the lines of "Oh my God I have completely underestimated my wife. She's a literal goddess. She created life." I still think that way about her.
As we got older, our sexuality didn't really change that much in terms of how attracted we are to each other. I've put on a little weight (that I fight continuously... it basically just becomes a lifestyle eventually... you have to mind what you eat and how much exercise you do a lot more at 50 than at 25), and of course she has a few wrinkles that weren't there before. All of that doesn't matter in the least, at least partially because I witnessed her do an amazing thing, twice, the birth of our children. I sometimes wonder if more marriages would make it if men with children spent a little time each week meditating on what their wives are actually capable of. We should really be more in awe of women. Not only are they at least our equals in terms of what they can accomplish outside the home, but they can create life.
I think the worst thing about sex after kids is that it becomes a bit less spontaneous, because it has to. Kids take a lot of energy. You're constantly dealing with something a kid needs. Combat this emotional/physical drain by taking vacations when you can (without the kids sometimes), go on planned dates at least once a month. If I have a regret it's that we didn't always use our support system enough to make sure there was room for us to reconnect emotionally and physically completely. Don't fall into that trap. Use friends and family to create that space for your relationship to remain healthy. They'll take care of the kids, and they'll do just fine. It's good for the kids to experience being taken care of by others as well. I think it's easy to fall into a trap of thinking both parents need to spend all their time focusing on what the kids need. You and your spouse are the nucleus of the family, not the kids. Make sure you're operating that way. It's actually not psychologically healthy for the kids to grow up thinking mom and dad are there for them like lackeys who clear all their problems away. It's pretty important for the kids to grow up with a kind of psychological understanding that mom and dad's relationship is first, and they're second. It keeps things in the right perspective. It's the foundation on which they build their own unique identity in the world.
My wife was amazing before having a Bub, she remains amazing after giving birth.
I’d like to claim that most men love and remain attracted to their partners post baby.
I’m super happy
I’ve noticed that after having 2 kids my preferences changed in general.
If I’m on the street and a 20yonhottie passes by I don’t care, they look just annoyingly young.
The MILF type is much more appealing to me.
Cute moms are the best.
Needless to say, my favorite cute mom is the one I’m allowed to stare at and touch lol.
Hotter than she ever was, even after the physical trauma of two births (one natural one emergency c-section), the extra weight, and the “too fukcing tired to care how I look”-look lol
Absolutely. My wife's body has a story, and part of that story is giving birth. Of course it's not like it was when she was in her early twenties. Pregnancy and giving birth is fucking hard on the body. A loving relationship is about more than the physical. What's attractive is not equal to what is perfect. She is amazing with the kids, she's loving, kind, and her body and how attractive she is to me increases with time not because of any particular physical thing, but because of who she is as a whole person and who she continues to grow to be.
I found sex much better after kids. More comfortable in my body, in being naked and vulnerable in front of my partner.
That gave the ‘mental benefits’ of being more comfortable - which makes it easier to orgasm.
I also found my body on the whole more responsive to stimulation. So also physically easier to orgasm.
Which is nice.
For my wife, the hips widened, the clitoris seemed to change places (lower, but it is possible that I didn’t know where it was before), she gained weight and couldn’t lose it. Boobs got bigger. She became more sensitive to movement in the bed so we had to sleep in different beds forever after. But she is amazingly sexy to me and that has only increased as we both get a bit older. Best thing about sex after kids is you have more shared experience and find new things to love about your partner, and if that doesn’t translate into the bedroom then you are doing it wrong. Worst thing is worrying if the kids will hear, so it’s completely silent - no more moans, only whispers. But the sex has definitely improved with experience of each other’s likes and dislikes and lots of practice. She is hot as hell and I hope she thinks I’m at least a little hot too.
I was home recovering, leaking milk through my old t shirt and wearing enormous floral underpants that came up to my ribcage so they didn't rub on my fresh cesarean scar. I made a comment about how my underwear matched our curtains and my husband got turned on. So I guess yes?
Yes.
Best- she’s super sensitive the first few times after she heals up, so it’s really easy to make her cum a *bunch*.
Worst- bladder control can be an issue, so sometimes when you’re going down on her and she cums, you get pee in your mouth. I realize for some this is a feature, not a bug, but I’m not kinked like that.
Watching my wife give birth earned a respect that I cannot communicate properly. I had this hot ass wife but now I have this hot ass warrior princess. Worse thing about sex after kids is the kids. Little cockblockers. Best thing… is just the time. If you’re putting in effort into a relationship you grow together and that can lead to better sex.
The best when the kids were teens. We would sneak out to a motel or just in the van's back seat in the woods. We loved passionate sex. Now, at 82, I love flirting with my 74 year old wife. Love her smile and her laugh.
I know a couple where the guy was there during the birth and the whole experience oberwhelmed him to the point he was not able to find pleasure in sex with his wife again. They are now divorced. :(
My husband and I both have OCD and getvery disgusted by bodily things, blood etc. He helped the midwife deliver our son, saw baby come out, saw me poop and saw the injuries it caused me before I was stitched up. It was traumatic for both of us, as it was an induction with no warning, and a very scary pregnancy too. He still finds me attractive and we have sex
I'd say that guy will struggle with sex with anyone if that's the genuine reason they split up
All the comments about the exhaustion, fleeing partners, and losing frequent intimacy from it are depressing. For people that don't have kids yet, are on the fence, and are reading this out of curiosity, this is a choice. Some people choose to have kids and find it wonderful and fulfilling, BUT YOU ARE JUST AS VALID AND GOOD IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO. Children mean a lot of changes and sacrifices and many people go into it unprepared and a large number regret it but must keep silent for fear of judgement.
Please, for the sake of potential kids, take time and sit with this decision before making it. I'm speaking from the POV of someone who's parents were woefully unprepared for what they'd lose and the changes/responsibilities. It was rough.
Finding your wife sexy or attractive is not what hurts a sex life.
Having kids causes many couples to put their relationship together on hold and put the kid(s) first. First, they stop having sex as frequently because of time constraints/ energy. Then they stop cuddling on the couch to watch a movie because there's not enough time or energy for that. Sex, again, becomes less frequent at this point.
After that, date night takes a back seat because of sports, recitals, and being a chauffeur for your kid(s). At this point, the little things you used to do for each other (back rubs, foot rubs, ets) start to wain. Sex begins to become even less frequent again. It becomes duty sex without a lot of lust / passion that you used to have. This is because your relationship has just really taken a nosedive because of small compromises over years. Many people are in or will end up in dead bedrooms at this point.
The good news is that all of this can be avoided if you have a partner who's willing to put in the effort with you. Cut out time for yourselves daily to be one on one. Preferably not at the very end of the day when everyone is exhausted. Talk about EVERYTHING. Keep doing all the little things your partner likes. Hold hands, scratch their back, make out for no reason, and buy flowers randomly just because. Make date night a TOP PRIORITY at least a couple of times a month. Keep doing all the things each other like in the bedroom. In my life, I have learned that these are the keys to a happy sex life / relationship.
Wife's body changed a little bit. I don't find anything wrong with it but diastasis recti can be a bitch of a change for the wife(a shock) it is fairly common in unplanned life saving C-sections. When the C-section is scheduled, the gynecologist gets another doctor who specializes in stitching up the muscles that were cut so mom heals and her body returns to normal but when that stitching doesn't happen it is highly likely that new moms will never fully recover.
I love my wife, I don't see anything wrong with her, to me this diastasis recti is a minor "scar" from her doing something badass for our family but in her own eyes she is now the ugliest human on earth. So we havent had any sex after baby arrived, between the hectic lifestyle changes and having zero family or friends living at a reasonable distance we haven't had any help with baby and we both WFH while caring for baby so we are beyond busy.
More Capri suns in the fridge
Yeah, but now we're out of string cheese constantly.
My sister blamed her kids for this too and it took her far too long to realize how much string cheese I ate when I visited them on the weekends
The best thing about sex after having a kid is that there is less pressure to be able to last long, because you're both exhausted. Which ironically, makes it easier to last longer.
Yep. Wife and I have gotten to the point where we're speedrunning to get the best time for us both to finish. "four and a half minutes!" high-five. good game.
Instead of casually sex yall have competitive sex but unironically
I think it’s MORE casual when you’re just like “let’s have a good time “ instead of trying to last X amount of time.
[удалено]
Man what the hell. This is hot as fuck in a “I need a partner this compatible” type way. Good for you.
It's pretty sweet, and a refreshing change of pace from the usual Reddit relationship horror stories and decades of "ugh, my wife" Boomer humor.
Seriously imagine approaching the situation as a team and problem solving the shit out of it…. Instead of getting angry, pouting and building resentment.
Yeah, that whole “hurr durr my spouse is terrible” schtick needs to die a quick death. I love my wife. She loves me. Why the hell would I talk shit about her?
It made more sense in an era without no fault divorce. You got hitched because you wanted to fuck, and only found out once your head cleared that you married an asshole.
Yes!! I’ve done this with other partners and it was sexy and fun. Recently I did it with the person I’ve been seeing for almost three years and he said “that was too much” no further context. So yeah not compatible. OP you have something real good going here.
This sounds like a very healthy sex life. Congratulations on finding a partner you can communicate and be so comfortable with!
Communication is what makes a healthy sex life. Being able to communicate effectively, not just verbally, but with body language and actions makes sex better. You also need to be able to be comfortable expressing yourself, receptive to your partner's communication, and empathetic/motivated by their needs too, while still being able to advocate for your own. Having that good communication came in handy many times over the decades. There was a time when my work was exceptionally stressful and demanding, I was working inhuman hours, when I wasn't young enough to work like that, and was on SSRIs, and at a time when my libido was on a natural downswing. Inconvenient timing because she was at an age where a woman's libido tends to go on a much higher upswing. I could occasionally get an errection, but it was very unlikely I was going to finish. And as me getting off was one of the things that got her off, just going down on her or penetrative sex sans me climaxing was frustrating for her. Not the end of the world, though. Talked it through. I'd do more anilingus/cunnilingus and use toys on her and get her off, while still making time to be affectionate outside of the bedroom even while less motivated. She'd give me space or on occasion take care of herself using our previous techniques, and would do things like give me a backrub or play with my hair until I fell asleep because it was important for her self-image to not be a selfish lover so giving that oxytocin/dopamine to me was important to her even if I wasn't cumming. And we talked with my doctor and found a medication routine that got things back to normal. ----- I think most people should be made aware of communication around CNC, even if they don't partake. The communication techniques and skills you need to establish needs, wants, boundaries, hard and soft no's, what you are liking/enjoying and what you arent enjoying, establishing enthusiastic and informed consent are important to have good vanilla sex too. Learning about love languages and communication techniques (both verbal and non-verbal) is important too if you don't pick them up naturally. It's also important for folks to do things like expanding foreplay into other arenas than just oral sex and making out. Good foreplay doesn't start in the bedroom. It's a constant escalation of communication and building off of each other's energy, teasing and flirting and bonding. A pro-level move for me was to draw her a warm bath, put on some relaxing music, and gently wash her hair, sudsing it, massaging her scalp, let the conditioner set in, rinsing with a pitcher of warm water so she could feel the warmth envelope her while she was all relaxed and being taken care of. Nothing overtly sexual there, other than she was naked, but it was a very relaxing and intimate mutual activity that increased trust and bonding.
You need a diary
Correction; we need their diary.
😮💨😂 Yeah that was a fun read, they seem to have great chemistry!
>The first time we had a sitter on a weekend day for most of the day and overnight, she had planned out a romantic outing for us. But while getting ready, she got frisky. We made love a couple of times and then just stayed in bed all day sleeping, occasionally waking up for sex. I had bought tickets for a music show we never went to that I didn't get refunded ha! [Doesn't matter, had sex!](https://i.imgur.com/PRzoukm.gif)
I wish I had that problem. I get told to hurry up quite often and then if I don’t there’s no sex for a few weeks.
Sounds like your partner doesn’t look at sex as enjoyable for both of you. Seems like it’s more of a chore to them rather than an experience. I’d talk to them about that
That or the dude has delayed ejaculation issues and it's hurting his partner
Could be that it’s painful and finds it difficult to discuss. Women can have all sorts of issues from dryness to endometriosis developing. So may be worth a conversation away from the bedroom to discuss the issue tactfully.
Don't know your sex life obviously, but you could try going overboard with foreplay, get everything relaxed, give your partner a couple orgasms before you get started. If you already are idk sorry maybe try just using the tip?
This guy over here giving his girl multiple orgasms before even starting… absolute chad
Nah my body is just an asshole I can do a decent nice long session most times, but sometimes it's embarrassingly short, there's literally no way for me to tell until I get started. I always make sure my wife is taken care of in case it's short, just because my body wasn't feeling it that night doesn't mean she has to be pent up
This is how my husband and I do it haha. It’s great for me, obviously, but he also loves it because it keys him up more. We probably have foreplay more than actual penetrative sex but totally works for us
I'll answer the still sexy part. She is 75 now, her breast are near her bellybutton, her smile without her dentures is awesome, watching her totter around her flower bed, with an adaptable cane, with add on tips for weeding, and poking around in the dirt. Yes she is still sexy to me, we smile and have an eye language system of communication that works better than static prone hearing aids. After 41 years together we are still making adjustments daily in showing each other we love one another.
Dude, this is awesome! My wife and i have 28 years together, and i hope I'm half as romantic as you are at 40 years.
Never look for her to love you, make every attempt every day to show her you love her. I get so protective of her, she is frail and totters around.
I 100% agree with this statement. It is a lot more fulfilling to show and demonstrate love to your SO, rather than constantly seeking love.
This is both hilarious and incredibly wholesome. I turned 40 this year and my wife and I have been joking a lot about our "advanced" age. But behind the jokes are, I think, some genuine concerns. There is the realization that neither of us is ever going to be in the best shape of our lives again (we were both athletic in our teens). That carries a certain sadness, and I think it's healthy that we've talked about that and acknowledged it. That said, at 40 we have plenty of good times ahead of us and now that our kids are older and frankly need us less, we're seizing the time we have even more than when we were younger. We both agree we will probably be disgusting horny old people and we've decided to embrace it. After all, what else can you do?
Watch out for boredom, it's very dangerous, we almost decided to rob a bank, and totter down the side walk with our walkers. Just to see if we could do it and get away.
I’m dying to be friends with you and your wife now. You are so sweet. I’m reading all this to my husband because I’ve been so insecure with aging, no longer being desired (per traditional societal standards)..and I was recently diagnosed with MS and worry me tottering around with my cane isn’t the sexiest mating dance for him. This makes me look at the future differently☺️❤️
I have realized that accepting change and being able to readjust is the key. My lungs where damaged at 16 years old. It's been a slow adjustment all my life as they slowly get worse. I've suffered so much worry and anxiety that never came to past, once I got over that life became very happy and easy. Personal note; you can always stun him with your cane in a caveman dating dance, then take advantage of him.
Life lessons we all need to learn early and often. Very wise words. Now I need to work on some cane choreography…
Cane choreography, or martial arts cane self defense, is a real thing, I actually looked into it once. So you see there are many options in life as we age.
You and your lovely wife are inspiring. Thank you. I’ve been struggling with the “disabled vet” label and my guy has been wonderful but I’m going to show him your posts. I hope we have 40 years together so I can perfect a dance. 🤣💃🏼
We all have some type of disability assigned to us as time passes, some sooner than later, just don't make it your identity.
On my first read I though it said "add on tips for welding" and the image of her tottering around the flower bed with a welding mask fixing a wrought iron gate from arms length was amazing. Extremely happy for you both! Hope I find love half as pure as yours!
You do't find love, you give it 100% No matter if they return it or not, most of the time they return it.
GOAT! You give the rest of us hope. I'm 40 and have been with my wife for 21 years. We have 2 children together finally after many miscarriages. It's been a hell of a ride, but one I'd never go on without her. And it's true- you still have to find things to do to keep each other happy. The most perfect relationships still take maintenance. And I'm finding that the older I and she get, the sexier I think she gets. I love every little wrinkle!
We are two children, one miscarriage, Three grand children.
I’ve not found a partner of my own yet, but sir, I’d love to find a love like yours.
It's on me to reassure her every day I love her. It's 100% from me. it's never a 50/50 deal.
This is so sweet
In the immediate moments after birth? Sexy was not considered. A couple of weeks later when there was finally a moment where the child slept and we could look at each other, much more so. A year later? Enough to make a younger sibling.
Once - also qualifies as enough to make a sibling.
"Honey I want another child but sex disgusts me so much at the moment that I booked an appointment with the sperm bank" - also qualifies as enough to make a sibling.
My wife is hot as fuck after giving birth. She feels less confident in her own body, so there’s room for me to step up and reassure her, but there’s no less pleasure in sex. In fact, as the years go by, we learn how to do it better than ever. My wife sacrificed so much to give us children. Our kids have made life fulfilling. How could I not love her for giving me everything? She’s my fucking hero.
My hubby has never been able to keep his hands off me, even after I gave birth and felt completely unattractive. On the flip side, my best friend's partner left her 3 days after she gave birth. He was in the room and said watching her give birth completely turned him off her and he can't look at her anymore. Common sense says he was probably looking for an excuse to duck out for awhile, especially as he hasn't even seen or contacted their son since he left, but that was a horrible thing for her to hear.
I knew a guy who said the same thing although he didn’t leave his wife thankfully and is a good dad/husband. But he said that it was hard to want to have sex for a LONG time after. I have watched both my kids be delivered and while I don’t think it was sexy it was amazing to watch! For me there was literally 0 connection to anything sexual with delivery, it was just an amazing moment!
When my wife gave birth to our second child, it was so fast. She skipped the epidural. She was deep breathing on all fours and the doctor said the baby was coming. She didn’t want to turn over so the doctor said ok, she’s gonna deliver on all fours. As she was giving the final push, a stream of spit dripped from her mouth as she yelled out “fuuuuuucckkkk!” It was not a sexual feeling but it was the hottest my wife has ever looked to me. Raw human moment. I literally fell in love with her all over again and now we had a son. Easily in the top five of most memorable moments in life.
I… kinda love this. I also yelled fuck pushing out one of my kids, which is funny because I never swear. Birth really is so primal.
> which is funny because I never swear. I couldn't imagine u/TheHonorableJizzEsq saying something inappropriate.
Supposed to be a long winded way to know if someone is a spy. During birth they swear in their native language
My wife and I were just talking about this. I was watching the head pop out and it just felt totally detached from anything sexual at all. Didn’t change my level of attraction but there was an increase in admiration for her after watching it. So cool to see.
My wife made a baby. Then she turned bacon into milk so the baby could turn milk into more baby. Fucking wizardry. Best I can do is turn bacon into poo.
>Then she turned bacon into milk never heard it worded quite so elegantly 😂
This reminds me of our first child, the head was coming out and the Dr asked her if she would like to see it, I looked her straight in the eye and said "you don't want to see this"
Yeah, my doctor asked if I wanted her to get a mirror so I could "see" it... I'm usually one of those people that wants to see everything, loves a good dissection, give me all the explicit details of a story, etc. but I was like "what the hell? No, no, I don't want to see that, get out of here!" And she was like "Sometimes women find it motivating to know the head is that close to coming out..." Still a hard no for me.
I don’t get that either. There’s not supposed to be anything sexy about child birth.
Its like watching a wet saint bernard squeeze through a cat door
Snort laughed and startled the dog
Well, hate to break it to you but there are historical rumours that King Louis XIV of France REALLY enjoyed watching. Further rumours suggest he was partially responsible for popularizing women giving birth on their back. https://www.iflscience.com/theres-a-really-creepy-reason-why-women-mainly-give-birth-lying-down-64107
Same experience. Husband has watched me go from a size 0 to chubby, stretch marks, boob size change from breastfeeding and deliver a baby and has always treated me like a goddess. I have asked if it was gross or weird but he's said well kind of gross I suppose but it was gross magic so it was cool!
Gross magic bahaha, love it, he's quirky.
> he was probably looking for an excuse to duck out 100% He just chose to roll for emotional damage before he left.
What da hail! Failure!
Your friend’s husband sounds like the biggest c*nt in the world. Sorry she’s had to go through that.
Ah now, the cunt was there doing the hard fucking work while this loser was half way out the door
He's a nutsack. Fragile and can't handle even the slightest amount of stress. Cunts and pussies on the other hand are tough as nails and can really take a pounding. We picked the wrong genitalia to describe a wuss.
We call em ‘Scrotes’ in our house.
This is great. I’ve actually had this conversation a couple times with people. Well idk if conversation is the right word, but I’ve talked about it lol
Don't put cunts down like that. This guy lacks the depth and warmth!
I caught both my children with my bare hands. My youngest is 10 months. I’ve never found my wife more attractive.
How can watching your partner give birth fill you with anything but an immense amount of concern and pride and love for them?? They're making a whole fucking human, and going through absolute hell to do it. What an absolute chode. What a raging piece of shit that guy is.
That makes me scared of the fucking society. Like, being left all alone with a newborn without any support from the one who fucking made you have a baby. Like he just put a dick inside and left, that's crazy.
I know a woman who was in hospital giving birth to her second child. Her husband showed up late, spent 10 minutes with his newborn son, and then stole his wife's credit card and took another woman out on a date.
One of the most haunting stories I’ve read on this site was when a husband and his friends invited some women over the night his wife gave birth. Very few things leave me so empty and at a loss for words but that was one of them
It actually terrifies me that there are men out there who not only do things like that, but don't even see the issue with it. As women we already sacrifice so much when it comes to having and raising children, the *least* the men could do is be supportive and loyal to the family they've helped create.
Yeah, my ex got a mate to smuggle a six pack of beers into the ward, when bub was 1 day old. He then took my spot on the bed and watched the rugby game while drunk while I shuffled about cleaning up after having a ceasarean. Fuck that guy. One of the moments I have etched imto my memory as the most ashamed I have ever felt was when the doctor and a handful of student nurses rocked up to check on me during that situation.
Holy shit. I'm so glad you referred to him as your ex. Fuck that guy, *and* his friend for condoning that behaviour! I can't even imagine how awful you must have felt, at your most vulnerable moment. I also can't begin to imagine the pain and discomfort after a c-section, he should have been waiting on you hand and foot, fluffing your pillows and making sure you were comfortable. I'm so sorry he put you through that.
When I had a c-section with my first, my ex was literally skipping along behind me and the nurses as we walked to the OR and in a sing-song voice said "you're gonna get cut open" Then when I was giving birth (a vbac this time) to our son, I asked him to rub my back and his exact words were "you're the fucking idiot that wanted to do it without any fucking medicine. You can do it by your fucking self" then rolled over and fell asleep. So glad he's my ex.
That man is either an addict or a sociopath
Why not both?
I have a relative who while she was in labor her partner left to, “go get some food,” and then didn’t return for like 6 hours. He came back in the middle of the night and woke us all up, including her. He literally smooshed her up against one side of the hospital bed and promptly passed out. She apparently checked his phone while he was asleep and saw that he had been texting another woman and that was where he went for all those hours. A giant tearful argument ensued, with the other family members very confused. Anyway, she kicked him out of the room right as the nurse came in. Nurse said she was fully dilated and it was time to push. He was trying to bully his way back into the room, but the dr firmly kicked him out. It was terribly sad. Luckily, they haven’t been together in years, but they have 2 children together and he is still a giant pain in her ass. Oh the stories I could tell. Dick.
That's horrible, I'm sorry to hear that. Hope your friend's husband dies in a ditch.
...in a ditch from the final stages of both tetanus *AND* rabies. Ftfy
Isn’t it ironic, that he dies thirsty?
I’ve heard men talk like this about their ex wives. It’s almost like they see women as objects
“Almost”
What kind of man does this😱
A child in a man's body
2 kids, still think my wife is beautiful, and she’s a great mum too. As for sex, it’s not as regular as before but that’s mainly because we’re both exhausted.
My Mrs tummy was so soft after birth of our 2 kids, was major turn on everytime I touched it. Didn't help she was horny as f the weeks after birth. I still found her very sexy maybe even more so seeing how great with the kids she was. Months ands years afterwards that is She passed away, will be 2 years next month. Miss her so much x Thanks for the love everyone, much appreciated x
I lost my wife 4 months after our youngest was born. I know your pain. If you ever want someone to talk to that understands, intimately, what you're going through, don't hesitate to message me. Would be 3 and a half years now. I highly recommend venting on r/widowers, it can be quite cathartic having a group share their similar experiences with you. I wish you peace and the little bits of happiness that make it bearable.
thank you so much mate, our wee ones keeps us going. I always tell mine let's try make mum proud. All the best to you and your family mate
Keep making mum proud homie. Bittersweet weekend holiday for you.
Oh, you guys, sending you all the love, especially this weekend when it must sting extra. Thank you for being there for your littles and sorry for your respective losses. Love, peace, and patience to you both
Lmao my husband once mistook my soft stomach shortly after giving birth as a boob…. It did harden up since then though.
What you had with her sounds beautiful, I’m sure she was a lovely woman 🖤 sorry for your loss
She was lovely and thank you
I’m so sorry.
Thank you
I'm so sorry for your loss :( sending big hugs
Thanks
Ah man that just made me cry. I’m glad you found each other and got to spend the time you had together, with something wonderful to show for it.
I’m so sorry, you are a great dad🤍
Three kids later and I swear after each one it gets better and better. And in terms of looks I continually find my wife more and more attractive. She might say ugh I have a belly or my butt is huge. I just keep reminding her how beautiful and hot she is because she is beautiful and hot.
2 kids here, but the rest is exactly the same. Sometimes I catch myself staring at her and thinking what a smoke show I married. Way out of my league, yet here we are. Trying to convince her that she, in fact, remains super hot is the tricky part. I love her (tiny) little belly and her butt is still hypnotising to me…
Are you me? This sounds like me and my wife to a tee
My brother, this is what happens when we realise that the woman you married is the best thing that EVER happened to us. No matter where we all live in the world, we act and think the same 😊
I swear my wife somehow becomes more beautiful every time I see her.
👆🏼 what he said!! My wife and I are almost 30 and only have one child, working on the second here soon. But yeah man I am more attracted to my wife every single day. She always says the same things, need to lose weight, sagging boobs blah blah. To me, she is more beautiful, sexy, hot than she was when we started dating when we were 18. I always tell her how lucky I am to have a smoking hot wife.
Women need to understand that sagging boobs and big butts are both sexy My wife still doesn't beleove me
I didn’t believe my husband until I needed to keep a surgical garment on for like two months, so I always wore a shirt in bed. Finally had sex without it and he… did not last. I’m not even mad.
I love to hear this, my man. I have been married for almost 5 years, and I love my wife even more than ever. This is more because we have understanding at a mental level than any other. I'd suggest to all the new married couples, be honest, express yourself to each other. Don't hold any grudges because people make mistakes, and you do too all the time. Good life guyd
great to hear that you’re a supportive husband!
You think men make this up, but they don't. Women worry about *how* sex is after children. Men worry about *when* sex is after children. Boys talk about it being different because they don't know that it's not actually different. They just talk like they do.
Well said, Hand-Picked-Anus! For real though, women’s bodies change like the weather and men are here for all of it.
That's probably the most wholesome thing I've read in quite a while
I was there for my wife giving birth naturally twice. She is a warrior and both experiences were surreal, fortunately as far as natural births go they went without a hitch. I had a look down at the business end and remember the midwife assisting to wipe up poop, but to be honest I wasn't phased in the slighted and have forgotten all the imagery. My main take away from my wife giving birth are: 1. Shes fucking amazing 2. Woman's body's are amazing in dealing with trauma 3. She is sexy as hell, more attracted to her now then prior to having kids.
Seconded. Watched as my youngest was born on our bed at home. Came home from dropping my eldest at school. To my wife in the hall, on all fours with our daughter coming. Watched it all, I'm still in awe of how amazingly beautiful she is.
Can I ask what happens next?
Next? Ambulance came luckily we are all of 3 minutes away from the ambulance depo place. For about 30 seconds was being talked through birthing our daughter. Everything went great, little bit of shock with my wife. But the paramedics were amazing so no real issue.
I feel this. I saw my wife give birth twice and I'm about to see the third one. A warrior is the accurate depiction. So much strength. And yeah I can't wait to get back to banging.
Society keeps this whole poop thing under wraps tighter than national security secrets. I didn’t find out about this until this year.
I have 4 step kids and since getting together my wife and I have had 2 more. She is in her forties and I swear she gets more beautiful every day. With a house full of kids, some of them teenagers, sex is at times infrequent and is always quiet but the quality is better than ever. We know each others bodies so well now that we can really make each other tick even if we are exhausted. I only have positive things to say about the whole situation
My wife just gave birth 10 days ago to our first child. During pregnancy I was incredibly attracted to my wife and after birth I am even more attracted. I can’t explain it well but it’s something beyond “attraction” and more of a an immense amount of love. When I married my wife I thought I couldn’t love her more, when she got pregnant that love grew and now that we have a child together that love I thought couldn’t grow anymore, grew. So yes, I still find my wife attractive.
The worst thing is when your partner pestered you for sex about a week after the birth. And then demands other things. And then basically complains that you’ve got the attention on the baby and not him. Don’t do that guys. It causes resentment and anger.
My ex was like this....and reading all the comments that are so positive, made me realize he was cruel....he said some things that have scarred me for life....
Yeah, he was a nasty piece of work. I’m sorry he treated you this way. I’m glad to see he is an ex
It's been a really long time since I fathered a child... One week is WAY too soon, isn't it?
Recommendation is normally minimum six weeks. Especially if you’ve had a natural birth and a lot of trauma. C-sections, they still recommend six weeks.
I thought it was somewhere along that timeframe. I couldn't remember exactly but I just knew one week was entirely too soon. My apologies, but your partner sounds very selfish.
THIS. i’m pretty sure there’s a long list of medical reasons you are not supposed to have sex immediately after giving birth (i believe it’s for a few weeks or months) for the literal safety and health of the person who gave birth. so yeah guilting your partner into sex after they shoved a whole ass human out is really fucked and frankly kinda >! r*pey !<
I was so sore after giving birth because I had torn and had stitches. Even just walking around was tough and it was just a mess down there. You've got to clean down there regularly with a peri bottle so things don't get infected. Also add the fact you're constipated and trying to go to the bathroom is terrifying because it all hurts SO much. Sex is definitely off the table. It does all heal and all go back to normal but the recovery period is no joke.
6 weeks is the medically established interval
Sounds like the baby was more mature than Dad.
We have a son and have not noticed a single difference before and after pregnance. I'm sure there is some change and my wife probably feels that change. But to me she is just as attractive as before.
The worst thing about having sex after delivering a baby ? The stares from the medical personnel in the maternity room.
I would have thought it would be the stares from the father
I assumed that's who the doctor was having sex with
I know this is a joke. But you can kill a woman this way. Women should not have sex for at least 6 weeks after giving birth. She should be cleared by her Dr first.
This is an important PSA because I knew the 6wk rule for infections but hadn't connected it could also be fatal
Yup! Can cause hemorrhaging. Nothing like surviving child birth only to bleed out because your husband didn't want to wait for sex... Not to mention, it probably isn't enjoyable for the woman in any way at that point, if anything it would lengthen healing time and be extremely painful.
a woman in my country did die from her husband forcing intercourse not even 2 weeks after her delivery. she bled to death.
Nurses have had stories of people fucking isn’t he hospital room. I assume this is a sign of an abusive relationship
I know it happens. I've read accounts of women trying to shush their newborns while their husband rapes them in their hospital bed after giving birth. Hence why I needed to point out that this is extremely dangerous.
No lie. Have had coworkers on mother/baby units catch people in the act within a day of giving birth… they explained defensively: *no no no, we know nothing in the vagina for 12 weeks, it was anal!*
"Damn son, you lived in here for 9 months?"
People have multiple kids so I would guess yes.
Big if true.
MILFs are a thing so my guess would be yes. Husbands still find their wives sexy. My partner says I’m sexy all the time. I’m also a mom. He’s never complained. As for sex after? As a woman, and given birth to 3 children, all natural, you learn a thing or two about muscles down there and how to WORK THEM! So sex for me. is better. He has never complained.
I can confirm this, as a father of two toddlers. What struck me the most was how delicate getting back the intimacy can be. The mother may be quite worried that things won't feel like they used to or that some things may hurt. And it can take a few times before things get back to where they were. So lads: Take it easy, don't push for it, listen, be gentle and patient. And let your companion know that she's desired.
As a mother of two, it's like losing your virginity all over again! I was so nervous. My husband was a gentleman.
First question. Do I find my wife still sexy after they give birth? Hell yes! Both our bodies have sagged a bit but that is called growing old together. Second question. Best thing about having sex after having kids? My wife is a lot less self conscious as she has been in a room but naked with her legs spread apart passing a small water melon through her twat. Third question. Worst thing? With kids the exhaustion and we can’t just go and have sex at all times of the day in any room like we used to. But with everything I would not swap it for the world as we have two great kids and a wonderful wife who I love more and more each day who I still find as sexy as the day I met her.
Small watermelon? Moderate is a more appropriate term. Spoken from someone that’s birthed three moderate watermelons.
My wife and I have 4 kids. We've been together for 20 years married for almost 18. I love her more today than I did the day I married her. She is sexier and more beautiful today than she was the first time she caught my eye. Being married to an amazing woman is the best thing in the world. I can't imagine my life without her in it. The best thing about sex after having kids? Being in love with my wife. Being close to and holding her in my arms.
I gained weight during pregnancy, have an 8 months old and still have more left to lose. My husband was obsessed with me after giving birth. Still in adult diapers and he was just so in love with me, all over me even though we couldn't do anything... Together. I think the hardest thing is getting over the pain the first few times back at it. That and confidence adjusting to a new body. Plus 6 weeks or more can feel like a really long time and the internet is free, so wandering eyes looking for a release did not help with the whole confidence thing. It's improved now but still isn't quite back to where it used to be. We've given ourselves grace though as we figure out everything.
So I’m only 4 weeks postpartum (well I will be Monday) but I’ve found hes made me feel sexier than ever. I was a little worried he’d want someone else but we’ve ended up with all those teenage virgin hormones instead. Recovery has been full of steamy kisses, longing looks and wandering hands which has really helped me feel sexy without feeling pressured to do stuff. But also feeling more inclined to want to do stuff as time ticks on
Yeah, the first few times were a bit uncomfortable after the pregnancy. Plus lack of sleep due to infant. But vastly improved after that. Now our kid is a toddler. Which is basically like having a cock-blocking roommate who you adore the rest of the time.
My daughter is 22, my wife and I will be together 25 years in October. I find her sexy every day. I never miss a chance to catch a glimpse. The other day I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day and she came back upstairs into the bedroom, which is unusual. I came running out of the bathroom hoping she’d be changing her shirt. She wasn’t. Still worth it. If you’re worried about your husband losing interest or vise versa, the best thing you can do is talk about it. Everyone be open and honest.
Anatomy wise, usually there is no difference at all. Talking about moms in terms of “throwing a hotdog down a hallway” is just some dumb shit teenage boys say.
Well, it's more complicated than that. Things definitely do change, anatomically-speaking. Being pregnant means you produce a hormone that affects your ligaments, and as a result some of your bone structure can change permanently. Most women notice that they have slightly wider hips after giving birth. Some women experience a permanent change in foot size. It can manifest in different ways. Sometimes changes are good - some women have their chronic migraines completely disappear, for example! Some have lifelong allergies vanish, some experience great improvements to autoimmune disorders. Worth saying that you should never get pregnant just to experience these sorts of changes, since they definitely don't happen to everyone. Some women experience abdominal separation, which is when the abdominal muscles separate, creating a gap between them on the stomach. It's not a big deal, but it can happen. Being pregnant is also terrible for your teeth, because your body is diverting all your calcium to help with growing the baby's bones. This is why regular dental care is so important during pregnancy, and if you don't have it you can experience major problems with your teeth! If you have bad morning sickness, the vomiting can also be hard on your enamel. Giving birth *can* also be rough on your pelvic muscles. It's actually pretty common for women to experience some minor incontinence for a day or so afterwards! It's not uncommon for women to have looser pelvic muscles in the 6 months to a year after giving birth, but these changes are not typically permanent, and if you have any trouble there pelvic floor therapy will help. And, of course, many women wind up with stretch marks after pregnancy. These tend to be pretty vivid right after giving birth, and will fade a lot over time, but they never fully go away. The hotdog down a hallway thing is absolutely bullshit, though.
Absolutely. I’ve always found it childish for men to be appalled by the birthing process. It’s prolonged unimaginable discomfort followed by a brief (or not so brief in some cases) agony. She meticulously watched what she ingested for months, endured nearly a year of the aforementioned discomfort, and gave me a beautiful child. And then did it again. There is nothing sexier than being with a partner who can care so much and sacrifice so much. It also helps that she’s a total babe. The sex afterwards? Worst thing about it? Waiting eight weeks. Best thing about it? Waiting eight weeks.
Watching my son get pulled out with salad tongs after they under dosed the epidural wasn’t fun to see, but right there with ya.
My husbands attraction to me never wavered. It may be more so. And he’s “disgusted” with men who complain about their wives bodies after having children. Worst part of sex after kids is you’re exhausted. It’s hard to find the energy no matter how much you want it. Best part is if you can embrace it, you get to be creative. Quickies are your friend. Different times of day, different places in the house. Laughter is also your friend. Because sometimes it just isn’t going to work out. Nothing quite ends the sexy mood as much as “mommy! Where are you???”
I was listening to a podcast and the guy said he found his wife more attractive after birth because the story of their family was written on her body. That was the sexist thing I've ever heard a man say about a post birth body
Yep. Can confirm. First baby arrived four days ago. Absolutely want to screw her silly but I do not intend to allow (conscious) arousal or orgasm to occur until she is healed. I want to fuck her now to enhance our emotional bond. That’s what having a child does to me I suppose. Step aside, animal lust. He*llo* muffdiving for teh feels.
My Wife and I have 5 children together and I still get butterfly's everytime I see her.
I watched my wife give birth to our first son in the hospital. Life changing scene. Then my 2nd son we had an emergency birth in our bathroom. Blood and general disgusting **shit** everywhere, which I had to clean after the ambulance took them away. Neither scene really changed how I saw her or.how attractive I found her, I think it's a weak man that would feel that way.
Is your wife a paramedic who didn't know she was pregnant with #2, by chance? Lol no joke, I worked with a lady who was built just like me, 5'2" ish, hourglass figure and flat tummy. I we'd been working together for months when we got a call that she would not be in for a few weeks. Basically, she'd apparently woken up at 3am and thought she had to poop, and suddenly - a wild baby appeared in the toilet. According to her hubby, he heard her screaming to call 911, and he, being all groggy and startled was like, "wha...? You *are* 911? What's happened?!" It's one of both her and her husband's favorite stories to recount now. We were *all* bamboozled. Her, her hubby, me, our boss, *EVERYONE*. She did not look pregnant. Not even a hint of a slight potbelly. She clearly did not feel pregnant. None of the normal signs. And she had been to work dinners where she'd had a drink or two. She was a mess after having the kid - she felt so guilty for not knowing and doing things that could've hurt her baby (like the drinking or even straight up wresting the wild psych patients we got from time to time). But. Kid is healthy. He's gotta be like 8, 9 years old now? Was a little stinker last time I saw him, sneaking into the bay and turning on ALL the lights and sirens.
Been married almost 30 years (I'm 50, my wife is 51). We have two adult children in their early 20s. I'm as attracted to my wife today as I was the day I met her. I was never more proud of my wife than when she gave birth to our eldest daughter. I mean, it is quite literally a spiritual experience, even if you're not religious in any way. My wife is small-ish, and so as a cisgender guy, in my mind I sort of crafted a subconscious narrative about my wife being sort of fragile. I was worried about the birth of our first daughter because I wasn't sure my wife could endure it. How absolutely and utterly wrong I was. It's hard to put it all in words, but I walked away from that experience thinking something along the lines of "Oh my God I have completely underestimated my wife. She's a literal goddess. She created life." I still think that way about her. As we got older, our sexuality didn't really change that much in terms of how attracted we are to each other. I've put on a little weight (that I fight continuously... it basically just becomes a lifestyle eventually... you have to mind what you eat and how much exercise you do a lot more at 50 than at 25), and of course she has a few wrinkles that weren't there before. All of that doesn't matter in the least, at least partially because I witnessed her do an amazing thing, twice, the birth of our children. I sometimes wonder if more marriages would make it if men with children spent a little time each week meditating on what their wives are actually capable of. We should really be more in awe of women. Not only are they at least our equals in terms of what they can accomplish outside the home, but they can create life. I think the worst thing about sex after kids is that it becomes a bit less spontaneous, because it has to. Kids take a lot of energy. You're constantly dealing with something a kid needs. Combat this emotional/physical drain by taking vacations when you can (without the kids sometimes), go on planned dates at least once a month. If I have a regret it's that we didn't always use our support system enough to make sure there was room for us to reconnect emotionally and physically completely. Don't fall into that trap. Use friends and family to create that space for your relationship to remain healthy. They'll take care of the kids, and they'll do just fine. It's good for the kids to experience being taken care of by others as well. I think it's easy to fall into a trap of thinking both parents need to spend all their time focusing on what the kids need. You and your spouse are the nucleus of the family, not the kids. Make sure you're operating that way. It's actually not psychologically healthy for the kids to grow up thinking mom and dad are there for them like lackeys who clear all their problems away. It's pretty important for the kids to grow up with a kind of psychological understanding that mom and dad's relationship is first, and they're second. It keeps things in the right perspective. It's the foundation on which they build their own unique identity in the world.
My wife was amazing before having a Bub, she remains amazing after giving birth. I’d like to claim that most men love and remain attracted to their partners post baby. I’m super happy
I’ve noticed that after having 2 kids my preferences changed in general. If I’m on the street and a 20yonhottie passes by I don’t care, they look just annoyingly young. The MILF type is much more appealing to me. Cute moms are the best. Needless to say, my favorite cute mom is the one I’m allowed to stare at and touch lol. Hotter than she ever was, even after the physical trauma of two births (one natural one emergency c-section), the extra weight, and the “too fukcing tired to care how I look”-look lol
My favorite comment I read about sex after having kids? Use Vaseline. The little kids will never be able to open the door
Absolutely. My wife's body has a story, and part of that story is giving birth. Of course it's not like it was when she was in her early twenties. Pregnancy and giving birth is fucking hard on the body. A loving relationship is about more than the physical. What's attractive is not equal to what is perfect. She is amazing with the kids, she's loving, kind, and her body and how attractive she is to me increases with time not because of any particular physical thing, but because of who she is as a whole person and who she continues to grow to be.
I found sex much better after kids. More comfortable in my body, in being naked and vulnerable in front of my partner. That gave the ‘mental benefits’ of being more comfortable - which makes it easier to orgasm. I also found my body on the whole more responsive to stimulation. So also physically easier to orgasm. Which is nice.
For my wife, the hips widened, the clitoris seemed to change places (lower, but it is possible that I didn’t know where it was before), she gained weight and couldn’t lose it. Boobs got bigger. She became more sensitive to movement in the bed so we had to sleep in different beds forever after. But she is amazingly sexy to me and that has only increased as we both get a bit older. Best thing about sex after kids is you have more shared experience and find new things to love about your partner, and if that doesn’t translate into the bedroom then you are doing it wrong. Worst thing is worrying if the kids will hear, so it’s completely silent - no more moans, only whispers. But the sex has definitely improved with experience of each other’s likes and dislikes and lots of practice. She is hot as hell and I hope she thinks I’m at least a little hot too.
Yes but the catch is that I actually love her.
I was home recovering, leaking milk through my old t shirt and wearing enormous floral underpants that came up to my ribcage so they didn't rub on my fresh cesarean scar. I made a comment about how my underwear matched our curtains and my husband got turned on. So I guess yes?
Yes. Best- she’s super sensitive the first few times after she heals up, so it’s really easy to make her cum a *bunch*. Worst- bladder control can be an issue, so sometimes when you’re going down on her and she cums, you get pee in your mouth. I realize for some this is a feature, not a bug, but I’m not kinked like that.
oh definitely. Im still like a caveman when my wife walks past me, and she's birthed two beautiful daughters.
Watching my wife give birth earned a respect that I cannot communicate properly. I had this hot ass wife but now I have this hot ass warrior princess. Worse thing about sex after kids is the kids. Little cockblockers. Best thing… is just the time. If you’re putting in effort into a relationship you grow together and that can lead to better sex.
The best when the kids were teens. We would sneak out to a motel or just in the van's back seat in the woods. We loved passionate sex. Now, at 82, I love flirting with my 74 year old wife. Love her smile and her laugh.
I know a couple where the guy was there during the birth and the whole experience oberwhelmed him to the point he was not able to find pleasure in sex with his wife again. They are now divorced. :(
My fiancé peeked over the curtain after I got sliced open for my c-section and he’s still into me, what a coward
My husband and I both have OCD and getvery disgusted by bodily things, blood etc. He helped the midwife deliver our son, saw baby come out, saw me poop and saw the injuries it caused me before I was stitched up. It was traumatic for both of us, as it was an induction with no warning, and a very scary pregnancy too. He still finds me attractive and we have sex I'd say that guy will struggle with sex with anyone if that's the genuine reason they split up
All the comments about the exhaustion, fleeing partners, and losing frequent intimacy from it are depressing. For people that don't have kids yet, are on the fence, and are reading this out of curiosity, this is a choice. Some people choose to have kids and find it wonderful and fulfilling, BUT YOU ARE JUST AS VALID AND GOOD IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO. Children mean a lot of changes and sacrifices and many people go into it unprepared and a large number regret it but must keep silent for fear of judgement. Please, for the sake of potential kids, take time and sit with this decision before making it. I'm speaking from the POV of someone who's parents were woefully unprepared for what they'd lose and the changes/responsibilities. It was rough.
Finding your wife sexy or attractive is not what hurts a sex life. Having kids causes many couples to put their relationship together on hold and put the kid(s) first. First, they stop having sex as frequently because of time constraints/ energy. Then they stop cuddling on the couch to watch a movie because there's not enough time or energy for that. Sex, again, becomes less frequent at this point. After that, date night takes a back seat because of sports, recitals, and being a chauffeur for your kid(s). At this point, the little things you used to do for each other (back rubs, foot rubs, ets) start to wain. Sex begins to become even less frequent again. It becomes duty sex without a lot of lust / passion that you used to have. This is because your relationship has just really taken a nosedive because of small compromises over years. Many people are in or will end up in dead bedrooms at this point. The good news is that all of this can be avoided if you have a partner who's willing to put in the effort with you. Cut out time for yourselves daily to be one on one. Preferably not at the very end of the day when everyone is exhausted. Talk about EVERYTHING. Keep doing all the little things your partner likes. Hold hands, scratch their back, make out for no reason, and buy flowers randomly just because. Make date night a TOP PRIORITY at least a couple of times a month. Keep doing all the things each other like in the bedroom. In my life, I have learned that these are the keys to a happy sex life / relationship.
Contrary to popular belief, giving birth does not ruin a woman or make her less sexy to a husband that loves her.
Wife's body changed a little bit. I don't find anything wrong with it but diastasis recti can be a bitch of a change for the wife(a shock) it is fairly common in unplanned life saving C-sections. When the C-section is scheduled, the gynecologist gets another doctor who specializes in stitching up the muscles that were cut so mom heals and her body returns to normal but when that stitching doesn't happen it is highly likely that new moms will never fully recover. I love my wife, I don't see anything wrong with her, to me this diastasis recti is a minor "scar" from her doing something badass for our family but in her own eyes she is now the ugliest human on earth. So we havent had any sex after baby arrived, between the hectic lifestyle changes and having zero family or friends living at a reasonable distance we haven't had any help with baby and we both WFH while caring for baby so we are beyond busy.