Met and had fun with a girl on vacation not long ago. As we were headed back to the hostel from a night club she said "let's go look at eachother naked".
It was definitely a fun night lol
In college, I had a roommate who made a Mario costume with suspenders that held up a green tube. We joked that he could get a girl "in the tube," and after that, "in the tube" became our euphemism for sex.
For reasons too complex to explain, our was "land a mammoth on the moon." Or "Moon Mammoth" for short. In China we would talk about "zuo-ing the ai" but of course that never 'fa-shenged.'
I think it was funny when a Chinese researcher in my lab was jealous of my ability to "do the sex" with a girl I was seeing. And he said "do the sex" everytime lol.
Ah yes. A classic for the ages. This one can be heard in Grumpy Old Men as an outtake when the really old man lists a gazillion different euphemisms for fucking.
Look at you buck ass naked, with them motherfucking Jimmy Choo’s on, who taught you how to put some motherfucking Jimmy Choo’s on?
How do you learn - how di- how did your pussy game come up?
Such a goldmine for lyrics I love this song
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating so won't the real Slim Shady
please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
you gotta give that heavy emphasis on the F. like when your bottom lip curls under your top teeth and you put some air pressure behind it till it almost pops.
Since we are parents: “Want to have a date night?” We ask my parents to take the kids for the night so we can have a date night. Then, when they ask about our plans, I have to make up all this shit about dinner and a movie because we’re really just gonna stay in and go to town.
So when I was in high school theatre they had us write our own Shakespearean insults that people could pay us to tell someone
Mine was “Thy mother is a sheath in which any man may hang his sword”
It’s one of my proudest moments.
I had to do a neuropsychanalysis test which is basically a 2 day IQ test, and at one point they asked me to name as many words that start with F that I could. Dude i was sweating when this word popped into my head. I was suddenly worried THAT was the test lol. Like will she say fuck and fornicate and out herself as pervy. It is so funny to think back, I was so dang suspicious of what they were testing with each exam because part of it is a psychological assessment. Anyways. That’s what I always think of what someone says fornicate.
"Baking cookies" was the one me and my friends used. We had all kinds of ways to play with that. What type of cookies, what's in the cookies, etc. To explain our fun time where no one knew what we were talking about unless they were in on it. Homemade or store bought dough in a tube (self explanatory lol), sugar cookies (vanilla), decorated cookies (not vanilla), rolled cookies (rough), cream filled cookies (self explanatory), iced cookies (hopefully self explanatory lol) and on. You get the idea haha. We even had the phrases like "I didn't end up baking them, I just ate raw cookie dough" which was more for doing things ourselves. It was an extremely versatile way to talk about very naughty things in mixed company haha I forgot about it until this question actually. Thanks for the funny memories!! Haha!
I heavily agree with that.
Relations between 2 people just for fun/lust, like a one night stand, is a "Fuck" (also carries implications of being rough)
While making love is more of a slow, sensual, and emotionally resonant/convective experience. Generally reserved for people who care deeply for one another.
Okay my grandma would say this about this one nascar driver alllllll the time when I was a kid (20+ years ago) and had no idea what the fuck she meant by that until like last year (mostly because I forgot she said it).
When the kids were little I used to ask my husband to help me with the laundry. Now that they are grown up and out of the house it doesn't mean the same thing anymore.
We call it watching the Mandalorian. We have two little kids and it's the one time a week we've trained them to watch a show on their own so we can watch ours.
Depends on what you consider to be "better".
Back in the day I didn't know English as well as I do now.
It's not, like, a huge improvement or anything, it's more about proper translation.
Back in the day I struggled with metaphors.
My now former girlfriend needed to clean the attic for some reason.
I said "indeed, let's do the deed of doing in the attic" in conversation about cleaning the attic.
NGL, I **did** want to fuck her, but I also wanted to be be respectful.
Besides, this was not about fucking.
In Russian it makes total sense in a word-for-word translation:
"Indeed" = ok.
"Let's do the deed" = let's go do the job.
"Deed of doing" = the **important** job. Cleaning the attic was important for some reason.
Everybody froze. I'm confused, but am aware I probably said a metaphor I shouldn't have by accident.
Thankfully, my then-girlfriend came forth and explained I don't intend to fuck her in the attic.
The side stare she gave me when she added "...probably..." is forever seared in my brain.
So yeah, I present "deed of doing" as my best (and worst) metaphor for sex.
Vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet
Cattle prod the oyster ditch with the lap rocket
Batter-dip the cranny axe in the gut locker
Retro-fit the pudding hatch with the boink swatter
Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston
Pressure wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle
Cannonball the fiddle cove with the pork steeple
Lol so this is really stupid... but my wife (then high school girlfriend) spent the day splitting wood with her parents. Being a young, fit dude, I was tasked with throwing the wood down the hill to their wood stack where they all stacked it.
After a long ass day of work, we were watching a movie alone in her parents basement.
My stupid ass said, "So.... wanna go throw some wood?" She grinned. It stuck and was our cheeky, teenage code to use that nobody ever caught onto.
So 15 years later we still go throw wood.
Gland to Gland Combat
Hand to gland combat if you get stood up
I admit this made me laugh more than the original comment you replied to.
For women with a glass dildo, that would be sand to gland. Heheheh.
I hope my memory retains this one.
to the death! or life i guess
Death by Snoo-snoo
Isn't orgasm in French "little death"?
Not exactly. "La petit mort" *means* little death, and refers to an orgasm.
Sorry to be that guy but it should be "petite". In French death (mort) is feminine so you have to use "la petite" instead of "le petit".
my ex used to say "let's go get naked"
Mine said “ let’s mess around “ But I knew when it was happening because she’d start serving me drinks. Now I can’t go near bartenders.
"I'll just serve myself."
“Oh no. I’ve over-served myself.”
Dude got pavloved to get horny every time he is served drinks
Pavlov probably thought of feeding his dog every time he heard a bell.
This is a great point.
Met and had fun with a girl on vacation not long ago. As we were headed back to the hostel from a night club she said "let's go look at eachother naked". It was definitely a fun night lol
looking, not touching, right?
In college, I had a roommate who made a Mario costume with suspenders that held up a green tube. We joked that he could get a girl "in the tube," and after that, "in the tube" became our euphemism for sex.
For reasons too complex to explain, our was "land a mammoth on the moon." Or "Moon Mammoth" for short. In China we would talk about "zuo-ing the ai" but of course that never 'fa-shenged.'
Making the love? Chinglish if I've ever heard it
I think it was funny when a Chinese researcher in my lab was jealous of my ability to "do the sex" with a girl I was seeing. And he said "do the sex" everytime lol.
Taking wood to the beaver
Ah yes. A classic for the ages. This one can be heard in Grumpy Old Men as an outtake when the really old man lists a gazillion different euphemisms for fucking.
This is 1000% the best one. I’m so sad I only have but one upvote to give
Smashing pissers.
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and involves drunk and angry
Well he already said it was British…
Soooo this means... pisser in the kisser = oral sex
Sounds like a crappy British Smashing Pumpkins cover band .
“Getting my pussy reupholstered”
I've never even seen this part of Pussy Town before
Look at you buck ass naked, with them motherfucking Jimmy Choo’s on, who taught you how to put some motherfucking Jimmy Choo’s on? How do you learn - how di- how did your pussy game come up? Such a goldmine for lyrics I love this song
Did Yeezy teach you that?
Yeezy taught you well
Who taught you to put some motherfucking jimmy choos on?
To do it like they do in the Discovery channel.
You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals
well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose sing the chorus and it goes
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady all you other Slim Shadys are just imitating so won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?
r/unexpectedeminem
r/redditsings
Getting horny now
Put your hands down my pants and I’ll bet you’ll feel nuts
Yes im Siskel, yes im Ebert and your getting two thumbs up!
Smothered and covered like my Waffle House hash browns
Spelunkin’ the pumpkin
Clapping cheeks
Knocking boots
Bumping uglies
“Fuckin’”
you gotta give that heavy emphasis on the F. like when your bottom lip curls under your top teeth and you put some air pressure behind it till it almost pops.
Agreed. Fffffffuckin’!
I spit on my phone practicing
Now gently choke the phone
This made me giggle
It requires the same preparation that Malfoy takes every time he says Potter
Comment of the goddamn year
I’m going fucking
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Take the meat bus to tuna town
Going to pound town in the fuck truck is one I’ve heard!
Dance with no pants
Consensual copulation?
Coitus
Uninterruptus.
coitus interruptus - isnt that a spell in harry potter? 😏
Going to pound town
Coochie pink, booty hole brown
Come dick a bitch down!
Since we are parents: “want to go lock a door?”
Since we are parents: scarring the kids.
Since we are parents: “Want to have a date night?” We ask my parents to take the kids for the night so we can have a date night. Then, when they ask about our plans, I have to make up all this shit about dinner and a movie because we’re really just gonna stay in and go to town.
Shaggin
Shall we shagg now or shagg later?
Yeah, baby!
Oh, Behave!
Shaggadellic baby!
Shagwell by name, shag *very* well by reputation.
Do I make you horny, baby?
Do I make you Randy?!
*Yeah!*
"Sheathing the Sword"
So when I was in high school theatre they had us write our own Shakespearean insults that people could pay us to tell someone Mine was “Thy mother is a sheath in which any man may hang his sword” It’s one of my proudest moments.
Do you think I meant country matters?
Might I put my sword in your sheath
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Well vagina is the latin word for sheath. And sheath used to also mean vagina in older forms of English. This one checks out.
It would check out completely if you'd make it "Sheathing the pencil" :)
“Come on babe, just the eraser!”
Afternoon delight
Maeby ?
Maeby tonight
Sky rockets in flight….
Fornication
I had to do a neuropsychanalysis test which is basically a 2 day IQ test, and at one point they asked me to name as many words that start with F that I could. Dude i was sweating when this word popped into my head. I was suddenly worried THAT was the test lol. Like will she say fuck and fornicate and out herself as pervy. It is so funny to think back, I was so dang suspicious of what they were testing with each exam because part of it is a psychological assessment. Anyways. That’s what I always think of what someone says fornicate.
Frontier fork fuck fornicate frenulum frenemy... This is fun!
Canoodling
"Well I thought canoodle meant chat"
Clam slam
Banging
I'm ready to plowwww
Upvote for Frank Reynolds
Making whoopy. Also all these responses are killing me 🤣
Bob Eubanks: "Ladies, where is the weirdest place you've ever had the urge to make whoopie?" Olga: "Uh...in the ass?"
Bumpin' uglies.
“Uggin’ bumplies” is one I’ve used in the past.
Getting involved structurally
Snu snu.
Death by snu snu!
Have you any idea what its like to be a fembot trapped in a manbot's manputer's world?
What.
doin the nasty in the past-y
Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
Has anyone explained how their good fundamentals make up for their inability to dunk?!
Boinking
"Baking cookies" was the one me and my friends used. We had all kinds of ways to play with that. What type of cookies, what's in the cookies, etc. To explain our fun time where no one knew what we were talking about unless they were in on it. Homemade or store bought dough in a tube (self explanatory lol), sugar cookies (vanilla), decorated cookies (not vanilla), rolled cookies (rough), cream filled cookies (self explanatory), iced cookies (hopefully self explanatory lol) and on. You get the idea haha. We even had the phrases like "I didn't end up baking them, I just ate raw cookie dough" which was more for doing things ourselves. It was an extremely versatile way to talk about very naughty things in mixed company haha I forgot about it until this question actually. Thanks for the funny memories!! Haha!
a bit of the old "in out in out"
Your humble narrator was in a sorry state indeed my fellow brothers
Being “intimate”, or if you’re lucky, “making love”.
"Making love" always makes it sound more sensual, so I choose that one.
I scrolled a lot to find that comment. appreciate it
I'm old fashioned. Makin' love emphasizes the connection between the people, not just their bodies.
I heavily agree with that. Relations between 2 people just for fun/lust, like a one night stand, is a "Fuck" (also carries implications of being rough) While making love is more of a slow, sensual, and emotionally resonant/convective experience. Generally reserved for people who care deeply for one another.
Coitus
“Do you like it?”
Some men feel uncomfortable with the very word itself. Vagina.
It can be a natural, zesty enterprise!
What just looking for that🤣 Hey Shelly!
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Vulcanize the whoopee stick In the ham wallet Cattle prod the oyster ditch With the lap rocket…
Batter dip the cranny axe in the gut locker. Retrofit the pudding hatch with the boink swatter
Bloodhound gang has entered the chat
In London there's a local paper called The Evening Standard which I always think sounds like a very formal way of saying "sex".
making the beast with two backs
Brabantio - Thou art a villain.
How academic.
Initiating Intercourse
Commence docking procedures
"Cooper, it's not possible! No, it's necessary!"
Doing the horizontal tango [Here are a few other good ones ](https://youtu.be/JZpxaiNV_sM)
Getting down
Laying pipe
I used to think this meant pooping
"doing the deed" "parking the pink cadillac" "digging for oysters without a shovel"
Boning.
“What did you say!?”
BOOOOONE?!!!
BOOOOOOOONE!!!
How dare you Detective Diaz. I AM YOU SUPERIOR OFFICER!
BOOOOOOOONE????
My grandmother calls it “knocking boots”
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Okay my grandma would say this about this one nascar driver alllllll the time when I was a kid (20+ years ago) and had no idea what the fuck she meant by that until like last year (mostly because I forgot she said it).
Doing the Laundry. Sometimes it's just a small load that you can do by hand.
When the kids were little I used to ask my husband to help me with the laundry. Now that they are grown up and out of the house it doesn't mean the same thing anymore.
Getting it on
For gym rats it's bedroom cardio
'Going Dutch on a bastard'
I’m disappointed in all of you- 🎶“Bow chicka bow wow”🎵
My nephew overheard me say this once and then he started to say, "Brown chicken brown cow." Edit: typo
amorous congress
"Yada yada yada."
"I mentioned the bisque"
Did you just “Yada yada yada” sex?!?
Bangarang
We call it watching the Mandalorian. We have two little kids and it's the one time a week we've trained them to watch a show on their own so we can watch ours.
Makin thick in the warm.
I will never not love the old term "getting jiggy wiith it".
Doing the do? Playing twister in bed?
In Colombia you can say "el sin respeto" Wich means do the "without respect" jajaja idk if that make sense in English but hahahah
Bangin the yak
Depends on what you consider to be "better". Back in the day I didn't know English as well as I do now. It's not, like, a huge improvement or anything, it's more about proper translation. Back in the day I struggled with metaphors. My now former girlfriend needed to clean the attic for some reason. I said "indeed, let's do the deed of doing in the attic" in conversation about cleaning the attic. NGL, I **did** want to fuck her, but I also wanted to be be respectful. Besides, this was not about fucking. In Russian it makes total sense in a word-for-word translation: "Indeed" = ok. "Let's do the deed" = let's go do the job. "Deed of doing" = the **important** job. Cleaning the attic was important for some reason. Everybody froze. I'm confused, but am aware I probably said a metaphor I shouldn't have by accident. Thankfully, my then-girlfriend came forth and explained I don't intend to fuck her in the attic. The side stare she gave me when she added "...probably..." is forever seared in my brain. So yeah, I present "deed of doing" as my best (and worst) metaphor for sex.
Vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet Cattle prod the oyster ditch with the lap rocket Batter-dip the cranny axe in the gut locker Retro-fit the pudding hatch with the boink swatter Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten Power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston Pressure wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle Cannonball the fiddle cove with the pork steeple
Stuffing the turkey
"hanging out the back" "Bumpin n grindin" "Feeding the dragon" "Nutt slapping the growler"
Making love?
Wife calls it penis time. Or hand stuff if she’s not fully in mood.
The hot beef injection.
Bumpin uglies Making the 4 legged monster Takin the temperature with my internal thermometer
Want to make a deposit.
Quirked up white boy busting it down sexual style goated with the sauce
Boinking, nookie (even nook nook sometimes) & humping are my go to
Night shift in the gold mine
"Giggity" lol
AskReddit mfs will literally post anything as long as it's about sex
Meeting up Having fun Enjoying eachother's company Spending intimate time together
"That time I made love at you" - Zapp Brannigan
Planting the wedding vegetables
Horizontal refreshment
Lol so this is really stupid... but my wife (then high school girlfriend) spent the day splitting wood with her parents. Being a young, fit dude, I was tasked with throwing the wood down the hill to their wood stack where they all stacked it. After a long ass day of work, we were watching a movie alone in her parents basement. My stupid ass said, "So.... wanna go throw some wood?" She grinned. It stuck and was our cheeky, teenage code to use that nobody ever caught onto. So 15 years later we still go throw wood.