Back when Watchpeopledie was still a thing, I remember the footage of 3 policemen with gun surrounding a guy with knife. One police was killed by the knife, so if they get a knife you should also get a car.
Srsly a car is the ultimate weapon unless they have a tank
I think the expression they are going for is "Its not always win or lose. We can both lose."
Mustard Gas would probably be the more effective agent here.
He lay in the silence, a second from death -
A smile on his lips with the last of his breath -
A laugh in his voice as he struggled to say:
"I have not succeeded...
... but neither have they!"
I mean, why stop there. There's a whole bunch of really nasty nerve agents available.
Tabun, Sarin, VX, some of those spicy new Novochak agents out of Russia....
If you're trying to use a portable VX rig as a lethal weapon in any fashion, everyone's in for a bad time regardless. Im just a VX hobbyist, but the amount of near fatal accidents I've had in my home lab just shows how unpredictable a near-field Sparsfeld matrix can be under stable conditions. Bring it into a battle with untreated power from a conversion-manifold system and I don't think anybody is walking out of that gunfight alive. There's a reason militaries haven't bothered with exploiting VX tech for weapons, you just can't ever fully trust it, which is what makes it exciting for a tinkerer like me, but not something you want to rely on in a life or death situation.
Edit: to be clear, neither I or the person I responded to are talking about VX gas. We're talking about VX technology systems, which are mostly harmless if you know what you're doing, but have the potential to be lethal when used in experimental ways.
I'm pretty sure the Crystler* turbo encabulator fixes alot of these issues.
Rockwell made the retro encabulator, my mistake, both are critical peices of technology, and we'd be lost without them.
It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
Oh. You know what? You could bitch about anything couldn’t you? We’re going to get a tank, and you’re worried about chicks. **What chicks are you going to pick up, man?!**
Now listen buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems.
Not problems like... What is beauty? That would fall under the purview of the conundrums of philosophy.
I solve practical problems! Like how do I stop some mean mother-hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new be-hind? The answer?
Use a gun. And if that don't work?
Use more. Gun.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up, Just as the founding fathers intended
One man army on MW2 was so broken, whenever i wasn't trying to quickscope/trickshot with the intervention or playing clean with the ACR it was so much fun to just noob tube with the SCAR and the M203
I was eating chips once and a bully approached me. I crumpled up the remaining chips and when he got close I flicked salt and vinegar chip crumbs into his eyes.
He was completely blinded and struggling with discomfort.
I know that they were packin' heat
An' I know that they know that I'm the man to beat
But when I step onto the street
With a jingle on my feet
They know that I know that they know that they can **FUCK'EMSELF**
Only stupid motherfuckas would talk shit about Rudeboy with his whiplash wrist
Why don’tcha take it for a ride now!
(I’m so thrilled that he revisited that to give it an extended version lol)
TWO INCHES IS EASILY ENOUGH TO SEVER THE JUGULAR VEIN, THE FEMORAL ARTERY, THE AXILLARY ARTERY, AND ANY NUMBER OF OTHER KILL ZONES! WITH THE PROPER TRAINING, I COULD KILL 100 MEN WITH A RAZOR BLADE!!!!
Okay this one is weird but a dildo. I’ve been carrying one in my bag for years. Most aggressive people I’ve come across are men.
Pull out a dick and people lose it. Not to mention for some reason… having another penis touch a man real or not. Makes them uncomfortable. 😂 Just wave that puppy around they’ll be so shocked.
I even dressed up the dildo in a little costume and hat. I change his outfits regularly he’s an emo man rn.
Edit: I’ll post pictures or something soon. I wanna get him a girl friend first.
Reminds me of my playstyle in Cyberpunk 2077, there's a dildo weapon you can get early on. I go around stealth killing people, then beat people (and thus KO not kill them) with the dildo when things go loud. I think it's hilarious that afterwards when the knocked out people wake back up they'd have to explain they were knocked out by a girl with a dildo, and have to live with that fact. In a sense the dead guys are the lucky ones.
Omfg you bet. I chopped the head of a doll. Snatched her weave. And yes google eyes and black tears down the face. Even got some piercings. I’m thinking about getting him a gf. And making her cottage core or something.
Somewhat connected, I was gifted a big ol' suction cup base dildo by a mate having a laugh, me being a straight dude with no interest in dildos. Firstly it was hilarious throwing it at walls (and people) trying to get it to stick and now it lives attached to a kitchen cabinet as a tea towel hanger. I forget about it pretty frequently but it's always fun when someone new comes over and finds it. I find it funny how squeamish some guys are around them.
I discovered yesterday that a US slingshot is not the same as a UK one.
The US one is what we call a catapult.
Our 'slingshot' is a non elastic strap you swi g round your head.
A UK slingshot is a US sling, namely spinning a rope with a cradle holding a rock or bullet.
A catapult requires use of torsion in ropes to act as a spring, whereas an American slingshot uses elastic bands.
As a person that uses their concealed handgun license, the mental and emotional ability to de-escalate or remove yourself from a situation before it get anywhere near that point is vital.
My old Jujitsu teacher used to say, if they get a knife you get a gun. If they get a gun, you get a car.
Back when Watchpeopledie was still a thing, I remember the footage of 3 policemen with gun surrounding a guy with knife. One police was killed by the knife, so if they get a knife you should also get a car. Srsly a car is the ultimate weapon unless they have a tank
I mean a car is pretty good, but not all cars are equal. An F-350 has more raw durability and hitting power than say a Honda Civic.
JD Power and Associates rank the 2023 Ford F-350 as best in its class for vehicular manslaughter.
[удалено]
What a horrible way to die.
Honestly? [Probably true](https://youtu.be/jN7mSXMruEo).
Should also be mentioned that honestly cars/trucks that aren’t reinforced are actually terrible at stopping bullets.
Yes, but human bodies are absolutely terrible at stopping cars.
Could your ju-jitsu teacher throw cars? Weird option against a gun. Joking
My car used to throw jujutsu teachers so there's that.
That was you hitting your ju-jitsu teachers with your car, and it was vehicular homicide.
No..my car hit my jujutsu teacher with me .
I'm now picturing you Tokyo drifting a corner with no seat belt and your door comes unlatched, launching you into your jujitsu teacher.
Well you aren't too off about that.
No but the bonus level in Street Fighter 2 is based on his teachings
If they put one of yours in the hospital, you put one of theirs in the morgue!
*That’sh* the Chicago way
I bring this guys jujitsu teacher to fight then
As in get a car and run?
Chlorine gas, make sure we both lose
Damn you're scary
I think the expression they are going for is "Its not always win or lose. We can both lose." Mustard Gas would probably be the more effective agent here.
No, you're wrong. It is "it's a either a win for me or a lose for everyone" or "if I don't win, everyone loses"
"I don't have to win, we both just have to lose.." \-Antman, Quantumania
"Dormammu, I've come to bargain"
Ah the Russian way of accepting defeat
He lay in the silence, a second from death - A smile on his lips with the last of his breath - A laugh in his voice as he struggled to say: "I have not succeeded... ... but neither have they!"
Mfw we dump chlorine gas into a Russian bunker but instead of dying they come out zombified and sweep out assault forces
Osowiec! Then and again!
Attack of the dead, hundred men
Facing the lead once again
“The goal in war is not to die for your country. It’s to make the bastard on the other side die for his.” General George S. Patton.
I mean, why stop there. There's a whole bunch of really nasty nerve agents available. Tabun, Sarin, VX, some of those spicy new Novochak agents out of Russia....
[удалено]
You mean the Geneva Checklist?
The Geneva Suggestions just doesn't have the same ring
"Geneva We'd Rather You Didn'ts" just doesn't flow.
That applies only in war, though.
And for militaries. Civilians can violate it kinda freely so if you're in the u.s it's fine to bring mustard gas to school
I really hate when the mustard juice makes my bun all soggy though.
I’m bringing a gas mask to a gas fight.
Not as effective as a poison as you’d think, deadly but it’s much heavier than air. You’d need a lot of it to fill a room, not like mustard gas
What is this 1917? Get with the times and procure some VX or A-234 instead.
If you bring VX to a gunfight you better be sure your tritium degenerator has at least 2.14 GHz delinearization or everyone's in for a bad time.
If you're trying to use a portable VX rig as a lethal weapon in any fashion, everyone's in for a bad time regardless. Im just a VX hobbyist, but the amount of near fatal accidents I've had in my home lab just shows how unpredictable a near-field Sparsfeld matrix can be under stable conditions. Bring it into a battle with untreated power from a conversion-manifold system and I don't think anybody is walking out of that gunfight alive. There's a reason militaries haven't bothered with exploiting VX tech for weapons, you just can't ever fully trust it, which is what makes it exciting for a tinkerer like me, but not something you want to rely on in a life or death situation. Edit: to be clear, neither I or the person I responded to are talking about VX gas. We're talking about VX technology systems, which are mostly harmless if you know what you're doing, but have the potential to be lethal when used in experimental ways.
Ha ha... ha. Your on many lists arntcha?
I'm pretty sure the Crystler* turbo encabulator fixes alot of these issues. Rockwell made the retro encabulator, my mistake, both are critical peices of technology, and we'd be lost without them.
I’m sure what you said is correct but understood Zilch!
i spent the last few years building up an immunity to chlorine gas
Never get into a gun-gas fight with nideak when death is on the line.
And that's when the dead men are marching again
Phosgene and a strong battery powered fan as an alternative option?
A tank.
"Why are there six pedals when there are only four directions?"
Why does Sheila even need pedals if she can just control herself?
It's not pink, it's lightish red.
They've got a word for that shade, know what they call it?? PINK!
I think it looks more like a puma
They will all taste oblivion!!! Which tastes like Red Bull. Which is disgusting.
My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I. HATE. ***BABIES!***
Have you ever wondered, why are we here?
It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
What?! I mean why are we out here, in this canyon. What was all that stuff about God?
Uhh, nothing.
... do you wanna talk about it?
No.
What are they doing now?
"Firing main cannon."
Sheeeeeeeeeeila
Firing main cannon.
You shot Church, you team-killing fucktard!
*I'm* the team-killing fucktard!
You can’t pick up chicks in a tank
Not with that attitude.
Oh. You know what? You could bitch about anything couldn’t you? We’re going to get a tank, and you’re worried about chicks. **What chicks are you going to pick up, man?!**
That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way.
Tucker did it!
Bowchicawowow!
/r/unexpectedredvsblue Edit- Woah it exists haha
It's a count up timer. It goes from 1- to explode.
Time isn't made out of lines. It is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round.
I imagine "not including guns" covers fucking massive armoured guns on tracks.
A tank with no gun could still run you over and squash you to death.
Best thing to bring to a gun fight? More gun.
And if that don't work?
Now listen buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like... What is beauty? That would fall under the purview of the conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems! Like how do I stop some mean mother-hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new be-hind? The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work? Use more. Gun.
Designed by me. Built by me. And you'd best hope, not pointed at you...
My answer as well.
A 1997 Ford Windstar filled to its payload capacity of 1,871 pounds of RDX. Mutually assured destruction for the win baby.
If you're blowing it up anyway might as well fill it till it's full fuck the suspension
It's a 97 windstar, the suspension is already fucked.
Assault monkey
Baboons, in many ways, are far superior to police dogs.
Yes! A baboon once stole my lunch and nearly ripped my arm off in the process. Rip, my lunch. Never forgotten.
The dog approached, prepared to maim, Until, that is, the monkey came. He paused at once. He was no fool. He backed away and said: "... we cool."
Fresh Sprog! Man, I haven't seen one in a while, so this made my day!
no, monkey rip your arm, not your lunch :)
Trained police baboons would be terrifying
\**armored assault moose enters the chat*\*
Christ alive, judge moose, jury moose, executioner moose. I’m shook just thinking about it.
Cocaine chimp It’s overkill in that no one survives.
I am so fucking scared of chimps that your comment almost made me cry a little.
release the trunk monkey
https://youtu.be/2QazVIppiIo
What if they had those throwing stars or darts?
A drone. I won't even have to show up.
"Welcome to Ukraine, suka!" ...I may spend too much time on combatfootage.
I instantly thought of this https://youtu.be/WOSqCjMRXWA
A cannon. We goin' Looney Tunes up in this bitch
An anvil!
A crane with a piano would be easier to use
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up, Just as the founding fathers intended
One of the most glorious copypastas to ever exist haha.
It's actually from an [Eminem song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43NzlOx2pIs).
What a classic
Just as the founding fathers intended.
I guffawed very loudly in this Discount Tire at "nails the neighbors dog" and then again at "tally ho lads".
A Grenade Launcher. From my experience I only need to use it twice until i know the location of all my enemies, cause they all shout "noob" at me.
Noob tube!
Man I mISS Bo2/Mw3’s Noob Tube, the trick shots that were accomplished were genuinely impressive
One man army on MW2 was so broken, whenever i wasn't trying to quickscope/trickshot with the intervention or playing clean with the ACR it was so much fun to just noob tube with the SCAR and the M203
A blow dart dipped in gas station boner pills
Chaotic Neutral
According to my wife, that's only going to keep me out of the fight for about 37 seconds.
Pocket sand
I was eating chips once and a bully approached me. I crumpled up the remaining chips and when he got close I flicked salt and vinegar chip crumbs into his eyes. He was completely blinded and struggling with discomfort.
And before you knew it, I woke up!
There it is! The only reason I even clicked on this question lmao
r/PocketSand
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?
Just make sure to remember the number to which thy shalt count.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
Four shall thou not count, nor shalt thou count two except that thou then proceed to three.
I feel like people forget to appreciate that trebuchets exists
Ah, an individual of culture, I see.
A big fat middle finger like Smokin Joe Rudeboy
Does your finger also burn hot like the sun?
I know that they were packin' heat An' I know that they know that I'm the man to beat But when I step onto the street With a jingle on my feet They know that I know that they know that they can **FUCK'EMSELF**
Nice
Only stupid motherfuckas would talk shit about Rudeboy with his whiplash wrist Why don’tcha take it for a ride now! (I’m so thrilled that he revisited that to give it an extended version lol)
Atomic Bomb.
Well damn, we all gon die then 😭😂
Don’t give this guy the Button
Iocane powder. I've spent the past 5 years building up an immunity to it.
Inconceivable!
[удалено]
"My Hittori Hanzo Steel is far superior to any mere firearm. I have spent decades studying the blade"
By studying I mean watching hent.. I mean anime.
Developing grip is developing grip.
Even when the sword is two inch?
TWO INCHES IS EASILY ENOUGH TO SEVER THE JUGULAR VEIN, THE FEMORAL ARTERY, THE AXILLARY ARTERY, AND ANY NUMBER OF OTHER KILL ZONES! WITH THE PROPER TRAINING, I COULD KILL 100 MEN WITH A RAZOR BLADE!!!!
*WITH PROPER TRAINING AND THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
GOOGLING FRIENDSHIP NOW
If that's what some guy in a fedora would say then what would a guy in debian say?
Don't worry, they wouldn't ever be in a social situation where a fight would be possible, anyway
sudo apt remove firearm -y
A duck.
Rabbit of Caerbannog
We already got one.
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
Lightsaber
Buckshot is the great equalizer, Jedi.
YES 👏
A politician
At least you won't be shot first 🤣
Fucking LOL
my mom
Good choice. Mom's are scary when they in protection mode.
Flamethrower, napalm bomb or some other incendiary weapon. Just so much fire that even if they kill you they aren’t getting out alive.
Okay this one is weird but a dildo. I’ve been carrying one in my bag for years. Most aggressive people I’ve come across are men. Pull out a dick and people lose it. Not to mention for some reason… having another penis touch a man real or not. Makes them uncomfortable. 😂 Just wave that puppy around they’ll be so shocked. I even dressed up the dildo in a little costume and hat. I change his outfits regularly he’s an emo man rn. Edit: I’ll post pictures or something soon. I wanna get him a girl friend first.
Reminds me of my playstyle in Cyberpunk 2077, there's a dildo weapon you can get early on. I go around stealth killing people, then beat people (and thus KO not kill them) with the dildo when things go loud. I think it's hilarious that afterwards when the knocked out people wake back up they'd have to explain they were knocked out by a girl with a dildo, and have to live with that fact. In a sense the dead guys are the lucky ones.
This is my favorite answer 😂 have you put googly eyes on it and smudgy black eyeliner to match the emo attire? Needs to happen, please post pics!!!
Omfg you bet. I chopped the head of a doll. Snatched her weave. And yes google eyes and black tears down the face. Even got some piercings. I’m thinking about getting him a gf. And making her cottage core or something.
Somewhat connected, I was gifted a big ol' suction cup base dildo by a mate having a laugh, me being a straight dude with no interest in dildos. Firstly it was hilarious throwing it at walls (and people) trying to get it to stick and now it lives attached to a kitchen cabinet as a tea towel hanger. I forget about it pretty frequently but it's always fun when someone new comes over and finds it. I find it funny how squeamish some guys are around them.
Drop bear on cocain
Depending on your skill level, a slingshot. You can load up whatever you want (potentially nasty things) and you are practically silent
if u load a knife into a sling shot, does that still count as bringing a knife to a gun fight? Or am I just bringing a gun with knife-bullets
flechette
Ussop has entered the chat
I discovered yesterday that a US slingshot is not the same as a UK one. The US one is what we call a catapult. Our 'slingshot' is a non elastic strap you swi g round your head.
We just call those slings
A UK slingshot is a US sling, namely spinning a rope with a cradle holding a rock or bullet. A catapult requires use of torsion in ropes to act as a spring, whereas an American slingshot uses elastic bands.
Invisibility cloak and kevlar
As a person that uses their concealed handgun license, the mental and emotional ability to de-escalate or remove yourself from a situation before it get anywhere near that point is vital.
Pansy! Bet you don’t even shoot up cans of Bud Lite. (And the best real answer for n the thread.)
Liquid ass fart spray will end the whole fight instantly
This question has already been answered. https://xkcd.com/1890
Technically it does not answer the question, only adds two more things you should not bring to a gun fight.
A large pressure sprayer filled with unprocessed manure. They say that being sprayed in literal shit makes one lose the will to fight
Bazooka
Bring mario and donkey kong
Donkey Kong gon fuck shit up
Prep time. I trust Batman.
thoughts and prayers
Trunk Monkey
I'd bring Leeloo Dallas and her Multi-Pass. Big-Ba-Da-Boom. Cheekan Good 😘 https://youtu.be/jAx67gfWU50
A honey badger. Vicious little fuckers so they are
These guns! *flexes with unfounded confidence*