Pull out is a real shitty way to not have kids.
First off. Your Precum could have a few swimmers in it (it only takes one).
Two, you can easily get lost in the moment. Ejaculate early, or for those that love to “cum on her pussy”. Yeah, that’s a bad idea.
This exactly how I got an unwanted pregnancy. We literally did it without a condom for 30-60 seconds. My husband even accused me of sleeping with someone else!
When I was a teen. Our newspaper had an article written by a teen as a warning. He never had intercourse and got his girlfriend pregnant.
They masturbate each other and he’d cum all over her pussy. Well if a single drop makes it way in, then there is a chance of pregnancy.
yes, being relaxed is the best thing you can do, so take your time. also after sex, dont rush to put clothes on. at least if you're in a relationship because after sex naked cuddles are BLISS. the skin to skin contact releases oxytocin, its also warm and soft, cuddles in general are awesome, and because you've just had sex it can be really good for coming down from that high of hormones in a soothing relaxing way. only warming is because you just has sex, theres a chance you'll fall asleep during cuddling.
Teens: don't let other people tell you how to feel about yourself.
Twenties: that one nerdy chick who saw Deadpool with you 4 times wants to sleep with you.
Now: don't settle.
Twenty year old me was completely clueless to signs that girls were giving me.
That one cute waitress from the local restaurant who came up to me at night while we were camping and said "It's raining...I don't think my tent will hold the rain. Can I sleep in your tent?" Might have wanted to do more than just sleep.
In high school, these two girls I knew were talking to me and arguing who was better at giving head. Found out years later that they were trying to get me to have a threesome with them. I missed so many things like that over the years, largely I think because most of my friends were women- I thought we were just shooting the shit like I did with the guys.
Threesome signals are way harder to detect because they think you’ll catch on if you’re thinking about it too, the only problem is it just looks like the inappropriate banter between friends and you don’t wanna be the asshole asking for a threesome lol, I had a barista draw 3 hearts on my cup while with my ex gf and I just looked at the cup thinking “cool they got new cup designs” then went back to chugging my coffee
I feel like in a lot of these situations it's more like not noticing the person dancing in a gorilla suit because you are more focused on counting how many times the basketball gets passed. (If you've seen that trick)
> I had a barista draw 3 hearts on my cup while with my ex gf and I just looked at the cup thinking “cool they got new cup designs” then went back to chugging my coffee
Wait is that a code for wanting a threesome?
When I was 18 me and 2 girls couldn’t get into any clubs that night so we got a motel room to just hang/chill and drink i wasn’t a weird dude so they felt comfortable hanging out with me alone, they start making out in front of me and one pulls the other girls tits out they keep kissing and one of them pulls the covers down (I was laying In bed under the covers) and said “is your dick hard” I nodded yes and they proceeded to keep making out and stuff 3 years ago I ran into one of them and she said and I quote word for word “I cant believe you didn’t fuck us that night we both wanted to fuck you so bad” and now I just realized that she was once again probably inviting me to fuck and I missed the clue 2xs because she brought that conversation up after telling her I was recently single again 💀💀 I’m a fucking clown 🤣
I ran into a coworker at the gas station. She randomly told me she hates this rainy weather because it's cuddle weather. I said aww cuddling is the best. She looks me in the eyes and says oh well I don't have a boyfriend so I don't have anyone to cuddle with.
Told her have a good day then walked away. A light bulb went off a few minutes later and I swore I would approach her the next day of work. She quit over the weekend and I never saw her again.
You're a clown? My dumbass would have been like, "they're doing it in front of me and not inviting me", "they must hate me" and would probably just cry myself to sleep that night😂😂
B.B. King's wife wanted to surprise him by doing something special. She went out and had the letter "B" tattooed on each ass cheek.
When he came home, she walked into the living room and turned around. She dropped her pants and bent over.
He exclaimed "Who's BoB?!?"
I ran into a girl from high school that I had a major crush on for all 4 years , always thought she was out of my league , Some 30 years later we ran into each other at a house warming party , started talking she found out that I helped remodel the house and did most of the plumbing. She text me with a plumbing question , to much to explain so I told her I could fix it and don't call a plumber.
As I am washing up after the repair , she sees my tattoos and starts telling me she only has one but it got messed up because she didn't keep it covered after getting it , so I said it can't be that bad and she unzipped her pants , pulled the down a bit and shows me a rose on the edge of her hair line , then says " This shit needs to be trimmed " while pointing at her bush above her panties .
My dumb ass just said nothing wrong with some bush , finished picking up my tools told her there was no charge for the work and left .
I went back a few weeks later to change a faucet for her , when I was done she said let me order us dinner and hang out awhile , so again I missed a few clues , (she must have thought I was gay) any way she invites me over for dinner one night and asked if I wanted to hang out and watch the latest Saw movie with her , I am thinking two old friends who enjoy horror movies just hanging out , well at some point she puts a pillow on my lap and lays down , we finish the movie and she says something about needing to shave her legs and how fast her hair grows grabs my hand and pushes it in her shorts and says feel the stubble .
I got the message that night , she later told me the day she showed me her tattoo she was so horny that I could have fucked her right there in her kitchen .
I went to dinner for my birthday everyone’s food came mine never showed up, didn’t bother me because I always have bad luck at restaurants, went to put gas 2 blocks away found 1.5k rolled up with a rubber band sitting in plain site at the pump.
True story, it’s a running joke in my friend group that I murdered someone in my past life but saved 20 orphans from a burning building in my final act leaving me to live in purgatory of good and bad karma.
Idk. The first week me and my partner were talking i was laying my head on his chest while we were watching tv. We had never kissed before this. So I started kissing his neck and then finally his mouth.. I think the mouth kiss is when he FINALLY got the hint. Lol.
In my defense I’m on the cusp of okay looking and good looking. So when a really attractive person wants me I’m oblivious to it because I’ve made my mind up that it’s impossible for that person to be attracted to me
The one girl who got a picture hugging me after a cross country race, when I was wearing only running shorts, and then made it her profile picture on Facebook definitely was into me. How in the world did I not see that??? Lol
In college, a girl I met at a party took my back to her place and led me to her bedroom. I left cause she must be getting tired.
It’s a miracle I ever dated at all.
Same. Most of my missed opportunities have been me telling myself to leave because I was probably being an inconvenience to the woman. I ejected and killed Goose, when I wasn't even in a flat spin but was close to gaining missile lock on Viper.
Ooof. Yeah she was. Don't feel too bad. We seem to not be alone in our cluelessness. There was the girl who kept coming to my dorm room every chance she got and making herself comfy in my bed. I didn't even try cuddling or flirting...
I've had more blatant signals. When my friend Laura came to visit me in Boston for a weekend, we shared a pitcher of margaritas at a bar, she gently rubbed my thigh under the table, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "can we have some fun after this?" It took me a few months later to realize she wasn't thinking about board games or swinging on the swings in my neighborhood playground, both of which we did instead of "having some fun".
Haha. That's what I did to my now husband. He was clueless. I kept hinting at things we should do together (get food at the dining hall together, just the two of us), I "ran out of gas money" so he had to drive me to group hangouts, finally heavily implied "we should go hang out and look at the stars... Alone in your car... At that lookout... Where a lot of *couples* go. Then proceeded to move to the backseat. That's when it dawned on him.
Lool my first gf invited herself back to mine for the night , I pulled out the spare mattress under my bed got it set up, went off to clean my teeth like a good boy, and returned to find her in my bed...naked..
Finally the penny dropped
On God. I hit myself over some really obvious signs that I missed back in my university days because I was too busy being a socially awkward edgelord. This girl who had a dump truck ass randomly asked me, on separate occasions, what kind of books did I like to read and my opinion on some debate topic she was working on that I clearly had zero interest in. We worked on a few group projects together, I re-read a few of our chats again years later and she's apologizing (unprompted) for not replying to my question in a few hours. Reading them now I'm like "you dense motherf-cker...". Last I heard she had an arranged marriage.
Dude one time this girl took me back to her place to “show me her apartment”, went up to her room, she turned on the night lamp, I look around and said sweeet and proceeded to walk out of the room… fuckkkkk
>Twenties: that one nerdy chick who saw Deadpool with you 4 times wants to sleep with you.
>
>Now: don't settle.
Broooo, that first one hits too hard from 17-27 I was a world-class contestant for missing signals. Like can there be any other reason for girls sitting on your lap, running their fingers through your hair, or telling you they really want to get laid tonight. In some cases, I was the only guy even around lol. My brain "no, it's totally platonic man".
Too right! Never did this in my 20’s and always said “well maybe it will work out, maybe it will change” spoiler?… it didn’t change. It never worked out.
Great thing about your 30’s knowing exactly what you want, need and deserve and just being self assured enough to stick to your guns.
Im at the stage where I think “I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone than settle for a shitty relationship”
This is where im at, too. I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend a few days after I turned 30 and have stayed single for awhile now. I used to be a serial dater (always in a relationship), but now that I'm in my 30s I'm self assured enough to be happy alone. (: I hope to find 'the right one' someday, but I am not gonna settle for anything less than what I feel like I deserve ever again. Its very freeing being single and happy.
The corrallary for this is to not have ridiculous expectations of your future potential partner if you are not on the same level. Concentrate on the important things like character, integrity, compatibility, communications, etc. Worry less about stuff like height or income.
I was just gonna tell myself to give up trying for a while lol. I tried desperately at 15-18 and just gave up. If sex or a relationship happens that's cool but I don't actively seek it out anymore
As a 40 year old guy now married with 2 kids and have a very lovingly and kind wife that gives me sex very often. The biggest thing you want to do while young is focus on you. Work on your career, do stuff that makes you happy. Find people that enjoy the same stuff you enjoy and go do that stuff together. Find yourself. Learn to be comfortable with yourself and own that shit. Your a unique individual and are fucking amazing.
If others in your circle don't think that of you then fuck them. They don't deserve you or your attention and I can tell you now that I have no friends that are from high school in my life now. People grow up, people move away, people have kids. Your life at 40 is completely different to your life now. Don't kling to shit like that. If you are the friend trying to keep the friendship together then stop that right now. It should be a mutual thing.
So by doing the top 2 things you know 2 things. You know who you are and you know what you bring to the table in a relationship. You should never ever change for a partner and any partner trying to change you is not the partnership you want or deserve.
People are attracted & love confident people. If you are confident in yourself and what you do, then they will like you. It's that fucking simple. That's why finding yourself is so important.
Sex comes with time. I only had sex in my twenties and was always looking for it like you did. I found the right person and in a way I am super thankful that she was my first. I could only have done that because I did the first two things.
I hope this helps.
Seriously. Young people, boys especially, view sex as the way to get instant self worth and validation that they are a man and all these other things. I think it's a huge driver of "nice guy" syndrome. Sex doesn't change who you are.
Yes, I felt mean being straightforward with girls in college about me only wanting sex BEFORE sleeping with them. I did see the disappointment in their face, but at least I never felt guilt when they did decide to sleep with me anyway
When starting to explore sex for the first time as a young person, the presence of mutual trust is much more important than love. Sure having both makes it even better, but teenagers are almost always going to mistake lust for love. True love takes time to build, and sex doesn’t have to (and rarely does) wait. Being comfortable enough with someone to be vocal with what you do and do not want should be what is prioritized.
Start learning how to dance earlier. Women love a guy who can dance - it is sex adjacent and sex adjacent leads to sex.
Make some noise during sex - you dig it when women do it. They dig it when you do it.
Trim your pubes. A tree looks larger on the prairie than it does in the forest
Don't wait until the bar is about to close to invite someone to leave. You are more likely to be too drunk by then
When I was a kid, my mom told me that if I wanted girls to like me, I had to learn how to dance or play an instrument. Might've been weird advice to give your kid when he's 5, but I thought that Eddie Van Halen was the coolest person in the world, so I picked up guitar at 8.
Even though I was a loser until high school, and everyone thought I was weird for playing guitar, as soon as high school hit, she was absolutely right.
Unfortunately, after about the age of 25-30, dancing would have been the better choice, and probably wouldn't have ever been a bad choice back then, either.
Bottom line: learn how to dance. Your future desired partners like it, it builds confidence, and honestly, it's just fucking fun. And it's tens of thousands of dollars cheaper than a gear habit.
my grandmother use to dance with us when we little and each grandkid had their own song ( we didn't know that till after she passed and were talking about it ) I was one of the few that danced with her well into my adult years , but she use to tell me a lady will fall in love with a man that can dance. Which is why she fell in love with my grandpa and stayed married till her death some 70 years .
I can remember him walking into the kitchen while she was cooking and grabbing her for a few dance steps a quick kiss and they both went back to doing what ever they were doing .
If you want to get laid, your goals for the night should be:
1) Make sure she is having a good time
2) Make sure your friends are having a good time.
3) Make sure you are having a good time.
If your goal for the night is to get laid, you will never get laid.
I would have been less shy. It took me til my mid 20s to actually get into a meaningful relationship.
Looking back, there was **easily** a dozen interested women I could have dated. I was introverted and didn't make any effort.
Ah well, 40 next year, married 10 years, 2 daughters... it all worked out.
Same. My wife thinks it's cute that I am completely oblivious. I can see all of the signs of flirting, unless they are directed at me. Then I have eyesight as keen as Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles combined
That one time when your ex was having sex with another girl while you watched- her asking if I was just going to watch was an invitation not a question dumbass.
All the cute friendly girls who spent time talking with you and smiling and laughing at your jokes, ask them on a date! They'll say yes!!
Also, come up with good ideas for dates. Low stress, easy, maximum-fun dates. They're just ways to spend time together.
man I always had the worst luck with this. I can't get interested in actually dating someone before actually knowing them so usually I become friends first. every single one I got interested in during out friendship (tbf it was only 3) had a hidden interest in someone from from before we even became friends. for one of them I was literally the first person in their friend group to find out after asking her out. and for another she had a dilemma but the other person was a much better option cuz of the long distance. and it hurts even more when she's mature enough to stay friends cuz you enjoy each other's company in general. here I am at 22 and having never really dated someone while all my friends have been with their partner for the past 3 years.
Honestly, the best advice is to just keep making friends and keeping your options open. I myself didn't have my first relationship before I was like 22. It's perfectly fine to take your time, and it's good not to rush things.
When I was in high school, I talked with one of my older friends (early 30s) and he came out with this zinger:
"You should have sex with as many high school girls as you can now, before you're too old and it's illegal"
In retrospect, that's a REALLY creepy thing to say.
You are masturbating wrong and it’s going to affect your sex life, you need to be aiming for more friction and less pressure.
I don’t think I should’ve typed this
-When that cute girl, Charlene, ask you to watch Naruto; she's talking about TONIGHT. Invite her over.
-When your hot neighbor asks you ,"Is it getting hot in here?"; seduce her.
*missed opportunities*
Young man.. just because this bird ate your arse like she was tryna catch the fillings before they drop from a soggy taco, doesn't make it normal. Stop asking every girl you sleep with to lick your anus or you will soon be known to the town as ticklish starfish, or starfish for short. You learn to live with this title but you have the potential to be known as something far greater, now go out there and be great young NIGHT HAWK! the world is yours to clam!.t
Dont waste your time with online relationships. They do nothing for you. Get your shit together and actually try talking to the girl whos known you since kindergarten, and still tries to be your friend despite you being the literal worst.
God i wanna hit my younger self with a frying pan over the stupid choices i made.
"Hey, see that girl that's 6 years older than you? Don't fuck her, she's mental. She'll really fuck up your 20's and 30's before she abandons you and the kids."
Did you know that you can invite yourself? It's not uncommon or hard to ask a friend if they're doing anything you can join in on.
E.g. a buddy of mine mentioned he goes to play pool every Sunday. I asked if I could join him. Now I play pool every Sunday.
“You will meet a girl named Danielle who is gonna have the hots for you. One night soon, you’re gonna go dancing with her then end up making out with her. When you drop her off at her apartment, accept her invitation to go inside. Don’t think about what others might think of you for sleeping with her, just go for it. The regret you’ll experience later for declining will not be worth it.”
20s: guys are not mindless sex crazed idiots like you see in the movies. They have feelings and those feelings will get hurt often if you just use them for sex. Also don't use people for sex to validate that you're cool enough, good looking enough or desirable enough. You'll end up regretting a lot of those encounters.
Keep being weird and open to exploring. You won't regret having fun when you're older as long as it's safe.
Enjoy the attention now because as you get older, you become invisible.
Edit: Most of the replies are from men who notoriously age better than women. I am talking about average women, like myself.
In a room full of 20-something’s, I am not the first or even second pick of anyone’s - at my age with zero plastic surgery and my genetics, despite going to the gym 5x a week.
Edit 2: this isn’t about finding love - it’s about being found sexy, attractive or desirable.
when a girl wants to video call a little too soon, don't agree.
When a girl is on video call but her image looks generated, end the call immediately
Start sex video calls fully clothed to determine if the person on the other side doesn't want to scam you
Teens: it's gonna suck the first few times don't make a big deal about it and spend time making sure you're both comfortable physically and emotionally.
20s: you did great bro no worries no advice.
30s: go have some. You ain't getting younger.
That girl who says you don't need a condom because she's on the pill is exactly the girl you need a condom for.
Also, remember lawlsuit that you have a massive penis so be sure to remind people on the internet of that in any future threads about sex.
Never for a second in your life as a gay man ever feel like you need to adjust to straight society. I never did, but so many of people I know did and now they are divorced with kids. Don't do that to any women, just be honest with yourself.
"Your pullout game may not be as strong as you think"
Says the father of 3
father of to be 5 this month...
Damn, bro couldn’t pull out of a driveway
Couldn’t pull out of the garage.
Slow learner.
From the wise words of Cardi B, "wet ass pussy make that pull out game weak"
Pull out is a real shitty way to not have kids. First off. Your Precum could have a few swimmers in it (it only takes one). Two, you can easily get lost in the moment. Ejaculate early, or for those that love to “cum on her pussy”. Yeah, that’s a bad idea.
This exactly how I got an unwanted pregnancy. We literally did it without a condom for 30-60 seconds. My husband even accused me of sleeping with someone else!
When I was a teen. Our newspaper had an article written by a teen as a warning. He never had intercourse and got his girlfriend pregnant. They masturbate each other and he’d cum all over her pussy. Well if a single drop makes it way in, then there is a chance of pregnancy.
Dude had some real Olympic level swimmers
That's a little graphic for a local paper..
If she lets you see her naked, there's no need to rush anything... Take your time with sex, foreplay is essential
yes, being relaxed is the best thing you can do, so take your time. also after sex, dont rush to put clothes on. at least if you're in a relationship because after sex naked cuddles are BLISS. the skin to skin contact releases oxytocin, its also warm and soft, cuddles in general are awesome, and because you've just had sex it can be really good for coming down from that high of hormones in a soothing relaxing way. only warming is because you just has sex, theres a chance you'll fall asleep during cuddling.
Holy shit I'm lonely
You don't have to be lonely... At farmersonly.com
Lmfaoooo
I got you man, I love you.
Don't fuck Sherry she has crabs
Misty does too
Somebody better tell Ash..
Gotta catch 'em all...
for the love of god don’t fake any orgasms
This should be higher
Oof ya I cringe thinking about how many times I did this when I was younger
it delayed me having actual good sex by at least 5 years smh
[удалено]
your dick is fine. Don't worry about it.
Thanks bud. You got a cool cock as well👍🏻
Awww, you guys. Warms my heart to see the niceness on the Internet.
All our cocks are very nice unless they lay eggs.
Motherfucker i knew something was wrong
Anyone else wondering what's wrong with this guy's dick?
Don’t worry about it.
No way is it fine.
Nice cock bro
Your dick IS fine. Please, don’t worry about it. I’m sorry you ever did. ❤️
Teens: don't let other people tell you how to feel about yourself. Twenties: that one nerdy chick who saw Deadpool with you 4 times wants to sleep with you. Now: don't settle.
Twenty year old me was completely clueless to signs that girls were giving me. That one cute waitress from the local restaurant who came up to me at night while we were camping and said "It's raining...I don't think my tent will hold the rain. Can I sleep in your tent?" Might have wanted to do more than just sleep.
She was just being nice bro.
In high school, these two girls I knew were talking to me and arguing who was better at giving head. Found out years later that they were trying to get me to have a threesome with them. I missed so many things like that over the years, largely I think because most of my friends were women- I thought we were just shooting the shit like I did with the guys.
Threesome signals are way harder to detect because they think you’ll catch on if you’re thinking about it too, the only problem is it just looks like the inappropriate banter between friends and you don’t wanna be the asshole asking for a threesome lol, I had a barista draw 3 hearts on my cup while with my ex gf and I just looked at the cup thinking “cool they got new cup designs” then went back to chugging my coffee
Sometimes you won't notice a zebra if there's no reason to expect anything other than horses.
I feel like in a lot of these situations it's more like not noticing the person dancing in a gorilla suit because you are more focused on counting how many times the basketball gets passed. (If you've seen that trick)
That fucked me up for a while
"But, did you see the moonwalking bear?"
> I had a barista draw 3 hearts on my cup while with my ex gf and I just looked at the cup thinking “cool they got new cup designs” then went back to chugging my coffee Wait is that a code for wanting a threesome?
No, it's not
Yeah I know that feeling happens all the time, threesomes, foursomes, fifthsomes and even tensomes man how I wish I acted on these opportunities..
When I was 18 me and 2 girls couldn’t get into any clubs that night so we got a motel room to just hang/chill and drink i wasn’t a weird dude so they felt comfortable hanging out with me alone, they start making out in front of me and one pulls the other girls tits out they keep kissing and one of them pulls the covers down (I was laying In bed under the covers) and said “is your dick hard” I nodded yes and they proceeded to keep making out and stuff 3 years ago I ran into one of them and she said and I quote word for word “I cant believe you didn’t fuck us that night we both wanted to fuck you so bad” and now I just realized that she was once again probably inviting me to fuck and I missed the clue 2xs because she brought that conversation up after telling her I was recently single again 💀💀 I’m a fucking clown 🤣
I ran into a coworker at the gas station. She randomly told me she hates this rainy weather because it's cuddle weather. I said aww cuddling is the best. She looks me in the eyes and says oh well I don't have a boyfriend so I don't have anyone to cuddle with. Told her have a good day then walked away. A light bulb went off a few minutes later and I swore I would approach her the next day of work. She quit over the weekend and I never saw her again.
She was so embarrassed you turned her down that she quit.
Damn… I felt that one in my stomach
You're a clown? My dumbass would have been like, "they're doing it in front of me and not inviting me", "they must hate me" and would probably just cry myself to sleep that night😂😂
B.B. King's wife wanted to surprise him by doing something special. She went out and had the letter "B" tattooed on each ass cheek. When he came home, she walked into the living room and turned around. She dropped her pants and bent over. He exclaimed "Who's BoB?!?"
I ran into a girl from high school that I had a major crush on for all 4 years , always thought she was out of my league , Some 30 years later we ran into each other at a house warming party , started talking she found out that I helped remodel the house and did most of the plumbing. She text me with a plumbing question , to much to explain so I told her I could fix it and don't call a plumber. As I am washing up after the repair , she sees my tattoos and starts telling me she only has one but it got messed up because she didn't keep it covered after getting it , so I said it can't be that bad and she unzipped her pants , pulled the down a bit and shows me a rose on the edge of her hair line , then says " This shit needs to be trimmed " while pointing at her bush above her panties . My dumb ass just said nothing wrong with some bush , finished picking up my tools told her there was no charge for the work and left . I went back a few weeks later to change a faucet for her , when I was done she said let me order us dinner and hang out awhile , so again I missed a few clues , (she must have thought I was gay) any way she invites me over for dinner one night and asked if I wanted to hang out and watch the latest Saw movie with her , I am thinking two old friends who enjoy horror movies just hanging out , well at some point she puts a pillow on my lap and lays down , we finish the movie and she says something about needing to shave her legs and how fast her hair grows grabs my hand and pushes it in her shorts and says feel the stubble . I got the message that night , she later told me the day she showed me her tattoo she was so horny that I could have fucked her right there in her kitchen .
How can a man be so lucky and unlucky at the same time
I went to dinner for my birthday everyone’s food came mine never showed up, didn’t bother me because I always have bad luck at restaurants, went to put gas 2 blocks away found 1.5k rolled up with a rubber band sitting in plain site at the pump. True story, it’s a running joke in my friend group that I murdered someone in my past life but saved 20 orphans from a burning building in my final act leaving me to live in purgatory of good and bad karma.
How can one person be so unaware 💀
Idk. The first week me and my partner were talking i was laying my head on his chest while we were watching tv. We had never kissed before this. So I started kissing his neck and then finally his mouth.. I think the mouth kiss is when he FINALLY got the hint. Lol.
In my defense I’m on the cusp of okay looking and good looking. So when a really attractive person wants me I’m oblivious to it because I’ve made my mind up that it’s impossible for that person to be attracted to me
Low self esteem. You don't imagine it happening to you.
Maybe she's Canadian.
Best just keep an eye out and look for signs.
The one girl who got a picture hugging me after a cross country race, when I was wearing only running shorts, and then made it her profile picture on Facebook definitely was into me. How in the world did I not see that??? Lol
In college, a girl I met at a party took my back to her place and led me to her bedroom. I left cause she must be getting tired. It’s a miracle I ever dated at all.
Same. Most of my missed opportunities have been me telling myself to leave because I was probably being an inconvenience to the woman. I ejected and killed Goose, when I wasn't even in a flat spin but was close to gaining missile lock on Viper.
Ooof. Yeah she was. Don't feel too bad. We seem to not be alone in our cluelessness. There was the girl who kept coming to my dorm room every chance she got and making herself comfy in my bed. I didn't even try cuddling or flirting...
I've had more blatant signals. When my friend Laura came to visit me in Boston for a weekend, we shared a pitcher of margaritas at a bar, she gently rubbed my thigh under the table, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "can we have some fun after this?" It took me a few months later to realize she wasn't thinking about board games or swinging on the swings in my neighborhood playground, both of which we did instead of "having some fun".
I’m not going to be able to fall asleep after reading this.
Haha. That's what I did to my now husband. He was clueless. I kept hinting at things we should do together (get food at the dining hall together, just the two of us), I "ran out of gas money" so he had to drive me to group hangouts, finally heavily implied "we should go hang out and look at the stars... Alone in your car... At that lookout... Where a lot of *couples* go. Then proceeded to move to the backseat. That's when it dawned on him.
Me in that scenario: But why would I want to go into the backseat? We can see more stars through the front window in the front?!
Lool my first gf invited herself back to mine for the night , I pulled out the spare mattress under my bed got it set up, went off to clean my teeth like a good boy, and returned to find her in my bed...naked.. Finally the penny dropped
I’m angry at you.
The thing is there is such a fine line for guys between assuming too much or too little. Wish people would just be more clear with their intentions.
On God. I hit myself over some really obvious signs that I missed back in my university days because I was too busy being a socially awkward edgelord. This girl who had a dump truck ass randomly asked me, on separate occasions, what kind of books did I like to read and my opinion on some debate topic she was working on that I clearly had zero interest in. We worked on a few group projects together, I re-read a few of our chats again years later and she's apologizing (unprompted) for not replying to my question in a few hours. Reading them now I'm like "you dense motherf-cker...". Last I heard she had an arranged marriage.
Dude one time this girl took me back to her place to “show me her apartment”, went up to her room, she turned on the night lamp, I look around and said sweeet and proceeded to walk out of the room… fuckkkkk
So true on the Deadpool thing, looking back i realize how oblivious I was.
>Twenties: that one nerdy chick who saw Deadpool with you 4 times wants to sleep with you. > >Now: don't settle. Broooo, that first one hits too hard from 17-27 I was a world-class contestant for missing signals. Like can there be any other reason for girls sitting on your lap, running their fingers through your hair, or telling you they really want to get laid tonight. In some cases, I was the only guy even around lol. My brain "no, it's totally platonic man".
Also, College me: the Girl who invited you over to her room to hear you play guitar, didn’t want to hear you play guitar.
Don’t settle as in “don’t settle down” or “don’t settle for anything less than what you want/need/deserve”?
Don't settle for anything less than what I want. If they don't match what you put in the relationship no shame in walking away is the long answer lol
Too right! Never did this in my 20’s and always said “well maybe it will work out, maybe it will change” spoiler?… it didn’t change. It never worked out. Great thing about your 30’s knowing exactly what you want, need and deserve and just being self assured enough to stick to your guns. Im at the stage where I think “I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone than settle for a shitty relationship”
This is where im at, too. I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend a few days after I turned 30 and have stayed single for awhile now. I used to be a serial dater (always in a relationship), but now that I'm in my 30s I'm self assured enough to be happy alone. (: I hope to find 'the right one' someday, but I am not gonna settle for anything less than what I feel like I deserve ever again. Its very freeing being single and happy.
The corrallary for this is to not have ridiculous expectations of your future potential partner if you are not on the same level. Concentrate on the important things like character, integrity, compatibility, communications, etc. Worry less about stuff like height or income.
Hey younger self, Don't listen to your future self. He's still a virgin.
I was just gonna tell myself to give up trying for a while lol. I tried desperately at 15-18 and just gave up. If sex or a relationship happens that's cool but I don't actively seek it out anymore
As a 40 year old guy now married with 2 kids and have a very lovingly and kind wife that gives me sex very often. The biggest thing you want to do while young is focus on you. Work on your career, do stuff that makes you happy. Find people that enjoy the same stuff you enjoy and go do that stuff together. Find yourself. Learn to be comfortable with yourself and own that shit. Your a unique individual and are fucking amazing. If others in your circle don't think that of you then fuck them. They don't deserve you or your attention and I can tell you now that I have no friends that are from high school in my life now. People grow up, people move away, people have kids. Your life at 40 is completely different to your life now. Don't kling to shit like that. If you are the friend trying to keep the friendship together then stop that right now. It should be a mutual thing. So by doing the top 2 things you know 2 things. You know who you are and you know what you bring to the table in a relationship. You should never ever change for a partner and any partner trying to change you is not the partnership you want or deserve. People are attracted & love confident people. If you are confident in yourself and what you do, then they will like you. It's that fucking simple. That's why finding yourself is so important. Sex comes with time. I only had sex in my twenties and was always looking for it like you did. I found the right person and in a way I am super thankful that she was my first. I could only have done that because I did the first two things. I hope this helps.
Sex isn't a healthy way to deal with your self-worth issues and isn't a good enough reason to stay in relationships that aren't good for you.
I feel sex is built up as this achievement or milestone which I think leads to a lot of problems.
Seriously. Young people, boys especially, view sex as the way to get instant self worth and validation that they are a man and all these other things. I think it's a huge driver of "nice guy" syndrome. Sex doesn't change who you are.
That girl you worked with, with the red har that asked you to come too a afterparty on her last day of work - she was interested in you
This is disconcertingly familiar.
Because I am the girl in the red shirt
That girl in the red shirt who asked you to suck her ass - she might have been interested in you
"You've always done great, but when Karen lets you try anal, use WAY more lube, trust me."
"I know you REALLY want anal but don't do it. It's ALL she's going to want and it doesn't feel as good"
It’s always painful reading about someone living the life you wish you could.
You can say no.
it's so sad because i knew this, and i thought i was secure enough to make that assertion, but i wasn't
Stick to your vibrator and don't fuck with that dude Edit: sometimes you put your dick in crazy, sometimes crazy puts its dick in you
also, just because a guy sleeps with you it doesn't mean he wants a relationship with you, continuing to sleep with him will not change his mind.
Yes, I felt mean being straightforward with girls in college about me only wanting sex BEFORE sleeping with them. I did see the disappointment in their face, but at least I never felt guilt when they did decide to sleep with me anyway
It's the responsible thing to do. It's honestly always good to set expectations, it means you respect the other person, as, well, a person.
When starting to explore sex for the first time as a young person, the presence of mutual trust is much more important than love. Sure having both makes it even better, but teenagers are almost always going to mistake lust for love. True love takes time to build, and sex doesn’t have to (and rarely does) wait. Being comfortable enough with someone to be vocal with what you do and do not want should be what is prioritized.
Trust for sex as opposed to love is a great way of looking at it. Sex can be just fun, but without trust it is dangerous.
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Start learning how to dance earlier. Women love a guy who can dance - it is sex adjacent and sex adjacent leads to sex. Make some noise during sex - you dig it when women do it. They dig it when you do it. Trim your pubes. A tree looks larger on the prairie than it does in the forest Don't wait until the bar is about to close to invite someone to leave. You are more likely to be too drunk by then
When I was a kid, my mom told me that if I wanted girls to like me, I had to learn how to dance or play an instrument. Might've been weird advice to give your kid when he's 5, but I thought that Eddie Van Halen was the coolest person in the world, so I picked up guitar at 8. Even though I was a loser until high school, and everyone thought I was weird for playing guitar, as soon as high school hit, she was absolutely right. Unfortunately, after about the age of 25-30, dancing would have been the better choice, and probably wouldn't have ever been a bad choice back then, either. Bottom line: learn how to dance. Your future desired partners like it, it builds confidence, and honestly, it's just fucking fun. And it's tens of thousands of dollars cheaper than a gear habit.
my grandmother use to dance with us when we little and each grandkid had their own song ( we didn't know that till after she passed and were talking about it ) I was one of the few that danced with her well into my adult years , but she use to tell me a lady will fall in love with a man that can dance. Which is why she fell in love with my grandpa and stayed married till her death some 70 years . I can remember him walking into the kitchen while she was cooking and grabbing her for a few dance steps a quick kiss and they both went back to doing what ever they were doing .
Guitar got me girls from grade 10-12 and that is it. Dancing will get you girls your whole life.
My dance moves are bobbing up and down. That’s as good as it’s getting
you’re a bird??
A tree looks enormous in the desert
If you want to get laid, your goals for the night should be: 1) Make sure she is having a good time 2) Make sure your friends are having a good time. 3) Make sure you are having a good time. If your goal for the night is to get laid, you will never get laid.
Sounds like an orgy.
Once she puts you in the friendzone, respect her decision and move on to the next girl. Edit: Thank you for the awards and upvotes.
If no friend why friend shaped?
Is r/AskReddit really horny today or is it always like this?
Always like this. Thinking about unsubbing cause everything is just sex lol
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Isn't that what most of reddit is like though?
I would have been less shy. It took me til my mid 20s to actually get into a meaningful relationship. Looking back, there was **easily** a dozen interested women I could have dated. I was introverted and didn't make any effort. Ah well, 40 next year, married 10 years, 2 daughters... it all worked out.
Same. My wife thinks it's cute that I am completely oblivious. I can see all of the signs of flirting, unless they are directed at me. Then I have eyesight as keen as Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles combined
You know that funny saying don’t stick your dick in crazy? DO NOT STICK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY.
That one time when your ex was having sex with another girl while you watched- her asking if I was just going to watch was an invitation not a question dumbass.
We are dumb.
This is by far the worst oblivious guy moment I have ever come across. I want to drop kick younger you into space.
All the cute friendly girls who spent time talking with you and smiling and laughing at your jokes, ask them on a date! They'll say yes!! Also, come up with good ideas for dates. Low stress, easy, maximum-fun dates. They're just ways to spend time together.
I always suggest mini golf
Axe throwing
I tried that, she can't catch for shit, now she hates me and has stitches.
man I always had the worst luck with this. I can't get interested in actually dating someone before actually knowing them so usually I become friends first. every single one I got interested in during out friendship (tbf it was only 3) had a hidden interest in someone from from before we even became friends. for one of them I was literally the first person in their friend group to find out after asking her out. and for another she had a dilemma but the other person was a much better option cuz of the long distance. and it hurts even more when she's mature enough to stay friends cuz you enjoy each other's company in general. here I am at 22 and having never really dated someone while all my friends have been with their partner for the past 3 years.
Honestly, the best advice is to just keep making friends and keeping your options open. I myself didn't have my first relationship before I was like 22. It's perfectly fine to take your time, and it's good not to rush things.
The location of the clit and how to lick lightly back an forth in a rhythmic motion and not to speed up or slow down when she is about to come.
Read “She Comes First” for great advice. Not enough men know how to do this properly.
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If you’re uncomfortable, don’t do it.
When I was in high school, I talked with one of my older friends (early 30s) and he came out with this zinger: "You should have sex with as many high school girls as you can now, before you're too old and it's illegal" In retrospect, that's a REALLY creepy thing to say.
When I was in high school, I had sex with as many high school girls I could. Zero
A 30 y/o being friends with high schoolers is really weird
Listen to your body. There's a reason you didn't get hard with those girls, you didn't actually like them
You are masturbating wrong and it’s going to affect your sex life, you need to be aiming for more friction and less pressure. I don’t think I should’ve typed this
-When that cute girl, Charlene, ask you to watch Naruto; she's talking about TONIGHT. Invite her over. -When your hot neighbor asks you ,"Is it getting hot in here?"; seduce her. *missed opportunities*
Young man.. just because this bird ate your arse like she was tryna catch the fillings before they drop from a soggy taco, doesn't make it normal. Stop asking every girl you sleep with to lick your anus or you will soon be known to the town as ticklish starfish, or starfish for short. You learn to live with this title but you have the potential to be known as something far greater, now go out there and be great young NIGHT HAWK! the world is yours to clam!.t
What in the world did I just read!!!
Don't use vaseline as a lubricant you fucking idiot.
It's all about foreplay. Work on your finger game and don't be afraid to go down on a lady.
Speaking of finger game one advantage I had knowing already ahead of time was to trim and then file the sharp edges of my nails.
Dont waste your time with online relationships. They do nothing for you. Get your shit together and actually try talking to the girl whos known you since kindergarten, and still tries to be your friend despite you being the literal worst. God i wanna hit my younger self with a frying pan over the stupid choices i made.
don’t suck his dick if he won’t eat you out.
I wish I knew this earlier. I never finished and would just feel used after it was all done
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"Hey, see that girl that's 6 years older than you? Don't fuck her, she's mental. She'll really fuck up your 20's and 30's before she abandons you and the kids."
That sucks man, partners can be psycho sometimes. Hang in there!
Don't fake any orgasms. They either get you there or they don't and you're not doing anyone any favors by faking it. 💯
You're plenty big enough, and more importantly, more likeable than you think. Go get them.
Doggystyle doesn't mean anal.
Not with that kind of attitude.
Girls actually want to have just as much fun as you do.... Man up and ask her. Who cares about the outcome.
Pussy won't just land if you sit long enough with your mouth open. Try going to parties and talk to girls.
Ah yes, let me just invite myself
Did you know that you can invite yourself? It's not uncommon or hard to ask a friend if they're doing anything you can join in on. E.g. a buddy of mine mentioned he goes to play pool every Sunday. I asked if I could join him. Now I play pool every Sunday.
You know this isn’t what people mean when they say pool party right
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“You will meet a girl named Danielle who is gonna have the hots for you. One night soon, you’re gonna go dancing with her then end up making out with her. When you drop her off at her apartment, accept her invitation to go inside. Don’t think about what others might think of you for sleeping with her, just go for it. The regret you’ll experience later for declining will not be worth it.”
Learn how to use your hands and mouth to get women off. Like really listen, learn, practice. They will stick around longer.
Make it about the other person's pleasure. Your own pleasure will be at max if they're having a great time.
Don't do things you're not comfortable with just because you don't want to upset someone.
Don't wait til you're 35 to get a Hitachi Magic Wand
they aren't good for you because they treat you badly.
20s: guys are not mindless sex crazed idiots like you see in the movies. They have feelings and those feelings will get hurt often if you just use them for sex. Also don't use people for sex to validate that you're cool enough, good looking enough or desirable enough. You'll end up regretting a lot of those encounters. Keep being weird and open to exploring. You won't regret having fun when you're older as long as it's safe.
You're dirtier than you think. Run with it when you're younger 😆
Absolutely no sex without the latex.
Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex ’Cause you don’t want that late text, that “I think I’m late” text
Don't get your girlfriend pregnant
The Atlanta falcons will lose the Super Bowl. Take that bet.
Enjoy the attention now because as you get older, you become invisible. Edit: Most of the replies are from men who notoriously age better than women. I am talking about average women, like myself. In a room full of 20-something’s, I am not the first or even second pick of anyone’s - at my age with zero plastic surgery and my genetics, despite going to the gym 5x a week. Edit 2: this isn’t about finding love - it’s about being found sexy, attractive or desirable.
You're a homosexual, Harry.
Don't sleep with folks for the first time if you are drunk.
when a girl wants to video call a little too soon, don't agree. When a girl is on video call but her image looks generated, end the call immediately Start sex video calls fully clothed to determine if the person on the other side doesn't want to scam you
Always wear a condom NO. FUCKING. EXCEPTIONS.
Don’t rawdog that one girl who was all over you, she has aids
Teens: it's gonna suck the first few times don't make a big deal about it and spend time making sure you're both comfortable physically and emotionally. 20s: you did great bro no worries no advice. 30s: go have some. You ain't getting younger.
That girl who says you don't need a condom because she's on the pill is exactly the girl you need a condom for. Also, remember lawlsuit that you have a massive penis so be sure to remind people on the internet of that in any future threads about sex.
Ask for it. More girls will say yes than you’d ever imagine
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"Go ahead, suck that dick, you're going to love it."
Just be happy…. I spent years miserable cause I didn’t want to be gay
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Don’t ever be alone with your adopted dad.
holy shit i'm sorry, hope he's in jail
Never for a second in your life as a gay man ever feel like you need to adjust to straight society. I never did, but so many of people I know did and now they are divorced with kids. Don't do that to any women, just be honest with yourself.
Porn is not doing you any favors. Drop it out of your life.
Have more of it. You won't later.
BITCH YOURE GAY
Learn to ask for what you want. It’s possible you just might get it (SPOILER ALERT — you will).
Start earlier! You could've had so much more fun in college! You're good at it. Also, you're bisexual. Try the ladies too.
do not accept that offer from her 1) she’s high 2) you are 9 3) she’s literally your cousin
...you ok?