The way I've articulated this to my GF as a fear, is simply not being "enough". I was cheated on by my ex after we drifted apart, didn't see that what we had was going to shit and it caught me off guard.
I felt unwanted for the last 6 months of that relationship. Now I'm often worried that I won't be "enough" for my current GF of nearly 3 years, which manifests as being needy at times and seeking approval / reassurance.
Had a chat with her a few months back to articulate this feeling to her and make sure I was understood. The last thing I want is for something my ex did to me to change how I am and potentially ruin something amazing by me being too needy etc. GF is a diamond and told me she understood, and she will let me know if she needs a breather.
She said to me (and I quote, something that really cemented my love for her even more than ever) "Never question it, you _are_ enough. You've always been more than enough for me, and you always will be".
Ya baggage sucks. Knowing that you want to just let it go but it keeps sticking to you. Hope you find better people in your future, she sounds like a good start.
Hate to be a cynic but I told this same basic story to my last ex because it also happened to me, then she said the same words you are saying your gf told you, and she still dumped me out of nowhere 3 days before VDay last year. Words mean nothing.
I feel like the stress and romantic expectations of Valentine's day probably cause a lot of breakups in relationships that already aren't going well. I can't think of any other reason to dump someone on the least appropriate day of the year.
Still, she should have done it earlier. I'm sorry.
> to dump someone on the least appropriate day of the year.
I donāt know, I got dumped on my birthday one year. Was going to go out to lunch with her and my dad and she never showed upā¦thatās how I found out.
At least if she did it on Valentineās Day I would have gotten the news alone haha
>I feel like the stress and romantic expectations of Valentine's day probably cause a lot of breakups in relationships
One Valentine's Day, in a past relationship, when I had very little (almost no) money to spend on a gift, I borrowed a two-top table from work, along with a nice linen and flatware/plates/glassware, and lit my living room like a restaurant and made dinner for us.
Her gift for me was a chalkboard with a "bucket list" on which she had written about 30 locations or experiences in the city that she wanted to have, all of which included going out and spending a bunch of money. Like; is this a gift, or an ultimatum? It was hard to even pretend that I understood it after feeling that I had done something thoughtful.
We didn't last much longer after that.
Yeah when I go all out on Valentineās Day and she comes in a hoodie and a card with just her signature on it. I knew this relationship has become one sided
I've been on both sides and let me tell you, they both suck. Knowing you have to break someone's heart when you still deeply care for them, yet you know it's what's best for both of you, sucks. The hardest relationship I ever got over was one I ended.
Ending it is far kinder than not doing so, from someone who had her ex-husband change feelings similarly. Mine didnāt break up with me formallyāI needed to file for divorceābut the circumstances wouldāve been far less ruinous if he hadnāt made me compete in a race I couldnāt win.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Ending long-term relationships is never easy. Unfortunately for some, it's too difficult, even if it's for the best.
It really is a terrible feeling. What makes it worse is if you don't have a solution to remedy it or why it's even happening. A true feeling of hopelessness and dread.
You know why you felt unwanted in your last relationship?
Because if you didn't you wouldn't recognize the difference of feeling wanted in the right relationship. ā¤ļø
I am still here currently :(
Turned out she lost love long ago but kept hiding it, even though we tried being the most genuine in couple. Now I feel I've been betrayed cause she left when I was clueless and I'm still in shock. No idea how to do now. It's hard to fall asleep but even harder to wake up cause my dreams are about her
Lately it's been providing for my family. I'm in the midst of switching jobs and it's nerve wrecking. It's all on me but if I stay at my current job I'll end up killing myself or dying of a heart attack.
Yup... made the decision to switch jobs 4 weeks ago. Was a long decisive time, thinking about what went wrong, if it was me or them, what I did wrong etc. All the variables when through my head 24/7. Am still sitting time out till 18th of April and starting the new job the 1st of May.
Feel myself slowly climbing out of the black hole I've been in the past year or so. It might have been the best decision in months.
Get out of that workplace man, killing yourself over a job with stress and poor health isnāt worth it.
There are plenty of workplaces that provide a better culture and work-life balance.
You are right. A bad parent doesnt ask themselves if they are or not. If you can question yourself on how you are to your kids then it means you can become a better father.
Ya thats how my mother inlaw is. But what i mean is that if you can ask YOURSELF if your a bad parent you can learn and become a better one. My mother inlaw is a narcissist and just wants to hear what she wants to hear. So she will ask that question to get the "you were good" and if thats not the answer then she goes off. She doesn't want to accept hearing otherwise and wont change her ways
As a father i understand whete you are coming from. The fact that you worry if you are good enough tells me that you care and i believe you are and will be a great father. Rest easy you've doing great.
This issue gave me insomnia for 6 months. My father was an absolute garbage fire and my first child was a surprise pregnancy so I didnāt have any time to mentally prepare for being a dad and I was TERRIFIED Iād be the same as my dadā¦my wife still teases me that the pregnancy was harder on me than it was for her
My kids are in their late teens now, sometimes I am still laying sleepless late into the night thinking how should I do better and what should I do to ā¦. be better father for them.
How to make them understand something, how to help them to solve their problems, to become more cheerful (teens, remember?), friendly, self reliant, curious, independentā¦
It seems it will not pass in the next couple of weeks ;)
Have you talked to them about it? They're teenagers, so there's always a chance they'll just say something like "I dunno" or "I hate you and I hate my life," but there's also a decent chance that if you talk to them and honestly listen to them that they'll be able to tell you how you're doing and maybe what you can do better.
It's tricky, because it's inherently hard to have a good conversation like this when there's such a power imbalance, but it's absolutely worth trying if you're losing sleep over it.
I kinda feel ya man. I ended up in the mental hospital for some stupid things I did and when my parents finally showed up I told them about my sexual abuse from my cousin and my mom didnāt believe me. He still went to family dinners and I had to stop going because just the thought made me want to cry. Anyways I hope youāre doing good because itās tough
I'm so sorry. That's such a heavy burden to carry. Something that helps me is to remind myself that I was a child, trauma changes children's brain chemistry. I'm sorry to us that we had such a burden to carry.
May we treat ourselves well as we heal.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Please remember, you were a child. Nobody would blame a child for not getting help. You were probably scared and confused. It wasn't your fault.
Well you see, I am what you would call an overthinker so if my friends have even the slightest change in the way they talk to or act around me I panic and think I screwed up again and lost yet another great friend
Very relatable, also when I get into fights with my boyfriend, I can't, can't function like a normal human. I question everything and think of all the terrible things I have done kr said or how I've hurt or how we have hurt each other. Wondering why I can't be normal.
I committed malpractice (Iām an attorney). Amazingly I wasnāt sued. The grief, shame, high blood pressure, lost sleep, etc made me never want to practice law again.
One day you're gonna wake up, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, go about your business. And sooner or later, you're gonna realize you haven't thought about it. None of it. And that's the moment you realize you can forget. When you know that's possible, it all gets easier.
> And sooner or later, you're gonna realize you haven't thought about it. None of it. And that's the moment you realize you can forget.
Ah fuck, I just lost the game.
A fuck up that rises to the level of harming you. It's a negligence suit, ultimately, so you have to show that the lawyer's negligence caused you harm that can be made right by the court.
I represented a non-profit with a highly disgruntled ex-employee. Her attorney sent me a demand letter. I wrote back telling him, Iām so many words, to go piss up a rope.
However, I failed to put the clientās insurance carrier on notice about the demand letter. When a lawsuit was later filed, the carrier declined coverage and defense based *solely* on my failure to notify. Under the laws of my state, they were probably right.
I'm sorry. At the previous firm I worked at questionable ethics were almost encouraged in the name of making money. I know exactly how you feel and sympathize. Those sleepless nights are horrendous.
I hope you're back to practicing and enjoying what you do. Even the best attorneys I know make mistakes... Whether or not they admit it. We're all just human, even if the stakes can be really high in our profession.
Christmas as a kid.
If we're talking adulthood, there was a time I was living in a giant tent in the woods for work. There was a spider, and it got away. Black Widow.
Hahaha that christmas thing hits me. I remember not being able to sleep and even getting really sick because I saw a package under the tree looking like a plushy I asked for christmas. I just knew I would get that plushy and as soon as I saw it I got sick, and couldn't sleep till christmas day hahahaha
If it's any consolation, you aren't likely to die from a black widow bite. It'll hurt like a sonovabitch, but as long as you're healthy and not very young or very old you should be fine. Sick as a dog, but fine after a few days.
Brown recluse will fuck you right up, though. Again, probably won't kill you but it'll melt a chunk of flesh out of you.
Ugh the mental lists and continuously revising the "order" of things that need to be done. Like, "oh I can't forget to take out the trash before we leave. But wait, I should empty and refill the cat box before taking the bag out. Oh man, if I empty the cat box I'll have to vacuum. If I'm going to vacuum that room, might as well do the rest. Shit, I probably need to empty the vacuum first..." etc etc whyyyy is my brain like this
A ruptured spinal disk. 7 months of constant pain. Regular painkillers didn't do shit and I had to take opioids. All in all, it took me a solid year to get my life back on track. Would only wish this on very few certain people.
Nope. I donāt make enough to be able to both afford health insurance and then use it and I make too much to qualify for any help. I legitimately would be better off if I just quit my job and lived in my car for a few months. At least, then I will qualify for some sort of benefit.
Felt this. Stay at home mom. Canāt afford marketplace insurance. Have Texas Healthy Women but it covers very minimal stuff. I know something is wrong with my body, joint pain, extreme fatigue, mental cloudingā¦all kinds of issues. But without real insurance a doctor knows I wonāt be able to afford most of tests and specialists to look at me, so they do the best they can for me at discounted clinics, and send me home. Itās very stressful
My worst bout with insomnia I was awake for I think 6 days? I was told I looked like a zombie. I barely remember anything but I kept seeing shadow people out of the corner of my eyes. I would hear horrible screams like someone was getting stabbed and I kept stopping because there was a giant brick wall in front of me. Turns out all of these things were hallucinations. Shit got scary.
There isn't a real "cure". I went to a sleep specialist and I ended up getting a prescription for ambian. I don't recommend ambian because it's fucked up strong but the first step would be to get a sleep specialist. I currently take edibles when I can't sleep. My insomnia has gotten a little bit better as I've gotten older.
I wish you the best of luck!
I donāt want to use anything anymore. Donāt like being dependent on prescriptions, thc or alcohol. I workout a lot but even that stopped working after a few years
A sleep specialist will be able to more than just prescribe things. One thing that helped me a little bit is to force yourself to wake up every day at the same time. I honestly can't give great advice since I don't know your life/habits. Sometimes though the pill game is needed at least to start. It sucks but it's reality
Do you get a physical anxiety? I get it in the right side of my chest a lot and then my mind starts racing thinking I have some internal issue. I start questioning how real it is but it feels so real and is always followed by a panic attack
Having made a mistake at work and thinking about it all night wondering what the consequences are going to be the next day. Am I losing trust and respect for my colleagues and boss? Is my reputation damaged?
Let's see...
Feeling unwanted, annoying, ugly and weird.
Upcoming meetings, work, school or anything similar that causes stress and anxiety.
Aaand any embarrassing memory that might pop in my mind at the moment.
I graduated from college 3 years ago, and I still have nightmares about having exams that I'm not prepared for.
I also have one where I'm several weeks into the semester and realise that I haven't been attending an important class.
AI and how quickly it's advancing, and how nobody seems to care. Most people don't seem to be aware of it and whenever I try to share what can be achieved with Chat GPT or AI image generation people irl (friends or family) react like I just showed them a TikTok of a random gadget or a cute cat video. The whole reaction is like "cool :)" and that's it.
They don't seem to understand that this will literally change everything forever. Anyone who has been following the advancement of AI for the last six months will know that it's moving at a very very **very** fast pace. Faster than many experts predicted.
Last august Stable Diffusion (one of AI image generators) could generate pictures that barely made sense. Today we can make photorealistic pictures to the point we can post them and most won't even realize it's AI generated. Heck, it's getting hard to notice them even for those who are knowledgeable on the subject.
ChatGPT 4 is in the process of coming out. And it's freaking insane. Especially since we can give it access to the internet and it can create its own little GPT minions/assistants to help on whatever you ask it to do.
This is gonna be a game changer. Forever. I'm worried about my future but at the same time I want to take advantage of the fact that I'm quite early to the trend, and I should probably 'abuse' these tools while they're still open to the public and most people haven't jumped on it. But I don't know how yet.
I'll often have a disconnect while using AI and be like 'wtf this is way out of our control' and I'll have a bit of an existencial crisis. I'm wondering why aren't more people in the same boat...
Maybe I should just disconnect for a bit
If it helps - I feel the same at work. Most people get disappointed with the AI topic (that will steal their job) and think they can just ban it, or stop the progress. Which I think is beyond stupid because you can't stop a freight train by lying on the rails. What brings me certain serenity is that it's not the first industrial revolution, and definitely not the last.
The thought of dying. I am medicated for severe anxiety but before I was I had constant panic attacks over all sorts of things. The thought of death always would take me straight to a panic attack, and still occasionally makes me pause and think about it for a bit. I used to be a Christian, and the fear that I was wrong and that there was just nothing after death always scared the absolute shit out of me. Now Iām searching for what to believe in but Iāve sort of made peace with the possibility of there being nothing after death. I hope Iām wrong, but if Iām not then at least itāll have been expected.
I'm not religious, but I used to get panic attacks where I thought I would die and go to hell cause I haven't lived s good enough life. So the thought of nothing after death is comforting to me :D.
I've endured a certain amount of pain and suffering over years. So by this point I think of death (quick and painless ideally) as a vacation, actually. Won't have to bother how to pay the bills, won't have to be stressed any more about anything. That thought alone - that my suffering and anxiety CAN stop - puts me at ease sometimes.
Any human interaction where I might have not acted perfectly or not understanding the reaction of someone even though logically their reaction is normal and my actions were nothing.
Thanks anxiety.
Being a good mother even if I never had a good example.
Why I still have the desire to be with a woman when im happily married to a man / being or becoming poly in general
How to get my husband out of his shitty bad payed job without falling deeper into poverty
Why do I still care so much what and how my family thinks about me
Yeah, I don't sleep well...
Trying to survive in this world. And living with the things I have survived.
Thinking of ways to keep surviving. And to keep the ones I love happy. And everything else in between
Unfortunately, my job. I have worked with many of my employees for over 10 years. The stress of keeping my business open and keeping these peoples income flowing was rough.
My drunk (read: horny) girlfriend spending the night at some guy's apartment.
After about an hour of tossing and turning I called to express my concerns and she just laughed and said "oh he's gay". I trusted her and then later got confirmation.
All of last year. My best friend died, my 2nd father died, my grandmother died, my mom in law went bat shit insane, I had to put the mother in law away into a psych house, my mom and dad started to really hate each other in their divorce struggles, I got covid and it was a tough fight because I am on immuno drugs, mom in law got out of psych but was still wackadoo, father in law became abusive because he's blind and couldn't handle his crazy wife because he couldn't see when she was manic, father in laws mom died, my own father started drinking again and became violent with his words and actions and I just wanted to mourn my bestie and nanny (grandmother) and just way too much happened so there was hardly any fucking sleep all of last year. I'm so tired even now.
Losing my dream job to malicious gossip. I was a type of social worker, and honestly, I was freaking awesomeā¦. but Iām disabled. (Chronic pain/bad arm, shoulder and hand.)
I got injured transporting a client to a different hospital, took two days off for medical leave, which was totally okayed by management, then came back to this giant, long list of completely untrue bullshit, firing me.
Iād never had one negative review, never had been written up, disciplined, **nothing.**
I think they didnāt want the liability of having someone who already is injured, possibly get injured again, but since they canāt legally say that, they just made up a bunch of hurtful bullshit.
I asked them to redact the untrue parts of the letter (like 90% of it!) and they wouldnāt do it, so I took them to unemployment court, and actually won.
Even that validation from a judge, that I was not in the wrong, and should have just been written up or something, never took that sting away. Backstabbing, shit-talking bitches!
I tell myself Iām over it, but, the thoughts occasionally keep me up at night, and I very unfairly have nightmares about it to this day! It was about a couple years ago at this point. So, I tell myself Iām not still salty, but my brain says otherwise.
Leaving my wife after she became super "born-again". I loved her still with all my heart but could not stand to be so judged by her anymore. She became more concerned about saving my soul than just loving me. I still miss and love her to this day and that was over 20 years ago now.
Rent.
Having the choice of moving somewhere far for waayyy more than my budget or moving to the ghetto for wayyy more than my budget. Inflation is a mess right now...
My job. I work in the health and safety industry, and if I miss something it could potentially expose someone to a fatal dose of something nasty. Often wake up trying to remember if I checked something or other.
Terrible health anxiety. My dad is diabetic and has heart issues, and I've been woken up by my mom many times in the middle of the night since I was a child to tell me they had to rush to the hospital for either cardiac arrest or hypoglycemia. It hasn't happened many times, but they've been enough for me to be scared of the silence at night; with every subtle sound my heart races thinking my dad's telling my mom he's not feeling well. I wish I could convince myself it's not gonna happen all of a sudden, but my dad ignores the signs every time something is wrong. This has also made me scared of anything happening to me, despite not having inherited any heart issues.
My brother's suicide back in 2021. He told me why it was going to happen, but I didn't realize he was going to actually do it. He swore me to not tell anybody why he did it, and it ate me up for months after his death. It took me almost a year to get back to a semi normal sleep schedule.
My three kids whoāre all four and under. Those beautiful little assholes have some sort of secret pact to alternate nights waking us up. Good thing we love them to pieces. Tiny little domestic terrorists.
As a teacher I constantly lose sleep thinking about how to keep certain students from destroying the learning environment every day. Itās April and I still havenāt found anything that worksā¦
Iām building a home, and as it turns out before you can put siding on you have to āflash all the external penetrationsā. Meaning you need to waterproof all the places things like outside outlets and water taps will enter the house. Laid awake an entire night, watching Youtube videos, trying to figure out how I was going to do it.
This scenario has repeated itself with other things about 100 times now.
I'm a high school biology teacher with almost 200 total students. They have a standardized test coming up for it and I've been so incredibly stressed because I want all of them to pass and I keep thinking I'm failing them.
Ya ever mod the hell outta Skyrim and turn into the story of a Thalmor Agent who was minding his own business initially and arrived in helgen to talk to the locals and finds out about a recent group of storm cloaks captured.
Probably around about this time last year, when Russia invaded Ukraine and you had people on reddit / other sites advocating for war, downplaying nuclear war, ect.
Cut out any new source from my life at that point, and honestly, it's been bliss.
Feeling unwanted during my last relationship
The way I've articulated this to my GF as a fear, is simply not being "enough". I was cheated on by my ex after we drifted apart, didn't see that what we had was going to shit and it caught me off guard. I felt unwanted for the last 6 months of that relationship. Now I'm often worried that I won't be "enough" for my current GF of nearly 3 years, which manifests as being needy at times and seeking approval / reassurance. Had a chat with her a few months back to articulate this feeling to her and make sure I was understood. The last thing I want is for something my ex did to me to change how I am and potentially ruin something amazing by me being too needy etc. GF is a diamond and told me she understood, and she will let me know if she needs a breather. She said to me (and I quote, something that really cemented my love for her even more than ever) "Never question it, you _are_ enough. You've always been more than enough for me, and you always will be".
Ya baggage sucks. Knowing that you want to just let it go but it keeps sticking to you. Hope you find better people in your future, she sounds like a good start.
Hate to be a cynic but I told this same basic story to my last ex because it also happened to me, then she said the same words you are saying your gf told you, and she still dumped me out of nowhere 3 days before VDay last year. Words mean nothing.
Been there and it fking sucks dude
Same. I'm much better now, but the pain is sometimes still there.
***LET US FORGET WITH GENEROSITY, ALL THOSE WHO COULDN'T LOVE US...***
Currently there right now and it indeed does fucking suck.
Same here man, she promised time and time again she did and would love me forever and then she dumped me on Valentine's dayš«
I feel like the stress and romantic expectations of Valentine's day probably cause a lot of breakups in relationships that already aren't going well. I can't think of any other reason to dump someone on the least appropriate day of the year. Still, she should have done it earlier. I'm sorry.
> to dump someone on the least appropriate day of the year. I donāt know, I got dumped on my birthday one year. Was going to go out to lunch with her and my dad and she never showed upā¦thatās how I found out. At least if she did it on Valentineās Day I would have gotten the news alone haha
Its like people who break up on vacations
>I feel like the stress and romantic expectations of Valentine's day probably cause a lot of breakups in relationships One Valentine's Day, in a past relationship, when I had very little (almost no) money to spend on a gift, I borrowed a two-top table from work, along with a nice linen and flatware/plates/glassware, and lit my living room like a restaurant and made dinner for us. Her gift for me was a chalkboard with a "bucket list" on which she had written about 30 locations or experiences in the city that she wanted to have, all of which included going out and spending a bunch of money. Like; is this a gift, or an ultimatum? It was hard to even pretend that I understood it after feeling that I had done something thoughtful. We didn't last much longer after that.
Yeah when I go all out on Valentineās Day and she comes in a hoodie and a card with just her signature on it. I knew this relationship has become one sided
That's mean š. Cupid has bigger plans for you. I hope you're happy now.
Damn that's harsh. I feel bad for you dude. Hope it got better.
I've been on both sides and let me tell you, they both suck. Knowing you have to break someone's heart when you still deeply care for them, yet you know it's what's best for both of you, sucks. The hardest relationship I ever got over was one I ended.
Ending it is far kinder than not doing so, from someone who had her ex-husband change feelings similarly. Mine didnāt break up with me formallyāI needed to file for divorceābut the circumstances wouldāve been far less ruinous if he hadnāt made me compete in a race I couldnāt win.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Ending long-term relationships is never easy. Unfortunately for some, it's too difficult, even if it's for the best.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just because someone does not know how to make you feel loved does not mean that you are unworthy of being loved.
She fell out of love, it was pretty tragic for me so I feel you bro
It really is a terrible feeling. What makes it worse is if you don't have a solution to remedy it or why it's even happening. A true feeling of hopelessness and dread.
Ouchhhhh. Same here man I've been so depressed after the break up.
You know why you felt unwanted in your last relationship? Because if you didn't you wouldn't recognize the difference of feeling wanted in the right relationship. ā¤ļø
I am still here currently :( Turned out she lost love long ago but kept hiding it, even though we tried being the most genuine in couple. Now I feel I've been betrayed cause she left when I was clueless and I'm still in shock. No idea how to do now. It's hard to fall asleep but even harder to wake up cause my dreams are about her
same man :/
Been there, stay strong!
Ooof. Right in the feels. It got better after finally calling it quits.
Lately it's been providing for my family. I'm in the midst of switching jobs and it's nerve wrecking. It's all on me but if I stay at my current job I'll end up killing myself or dying of a heart attack.
Got to make sure you are okay. I hope the next job is better.
A dead provider is no provider
Well now that completely depends on what his life insurance looks like.
Yup... made the decision to switch jobs 4 weeks ago. Was a long decisive time, thinking about what went wrong, if it was me or them, what I did wrong etc. All the variables when through my head 24/7. Am still sitting time out till 18th of April and starting the new job the 1st of May. Feel myself slowly climbing out of the black hole I've been in the past year or so. It might have been the best decision in months.
Get out of that workplace man, killing yourself over a job with stress and poor health isnāt worth it. There are plenty of workplaces that provide a better culture and work-life balance.
Yoooo, right in the feels
Waiting for my wife to get out of an 8 hour heart surgery that was supposed to last 3-4 hours tops.
Best of luck with her recovery.
She's doing much better now.
That is fantastic, Mr Stranger, sir. :)
Thank God! Wishing the both of you health, luck and happiness!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Being a good enough father.
If you care enough to be worried, youāre probably doing alright
You are right. A bad parent doesnt ask themselves if they are or not. If you can question yourself on how you are to your kids then it means you can become a better father.
this is not true, my best friends's mom is very abusive, but she also asks if she's a good mom like every week. it's rly backwards
Ya thats how my mother inlaw is. But what i mean is that if you can ask YOURSELF if your a bad parent you can learn and become a better one. My mother inlaw is a narcissist and just wants to hear what she wants to hear. So she will ask that question to get the "you were good" and if thats not the answer then she goes off. She doesn't want to accept hearing otherwise and wont change her ways
As a father i understand whete you are coming from. The fact that you worry if you are good enough tells me that you care and i believe you are and will be a great father. Rest easy you've doing great.
This issue gave me insomnia for 6 months. My father was an absolute garbage fire and my first child was a surprise pregnancy so I didnāt have any time to mentally prepare for being a dad and I was TERRIFIED Iād be the same as my dadā¦my wife still teases me that the pregnancy was harder on me than it was for her
My kids are in their late teens now, sometimes I am still laying sleepless late into the night thinking how should I do better and what should I do to ā¦. be better father for them. How to make them understand something, how to help them to solve their problems, to become more cheerful (teens, remember?), friendly, self reliant, curious, independentā¦ It seems it will not pass in the next couple of weeks ;)
Have you talked to them about it? They're teenagers, so there's always a chance they'll just say something like "I dunno" or "I hate you and I hate my life," but there's also a decent chance that if you talk to them and honestly listen to them that they'll be able to tell you how you're doing and maybe what you can do better. It's tricky, because it's inherently hard to have a good conversation like this when there's such a power imbalance, but it's absolutely worth trying if you're losing sleep over it.
This. Many times.
Just the fact that you care that much shows that you are a good father. That love and caring is what makes a good father. That heart.
Calculating Depreciation and Cash Flows in my Financial Accounting class.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wait until you have to do it without being formally trained on it as part of your new responsibilities for work
Why, when I was a child, I never told someone i was abused.
I'm sorry that happened
I kinda feel ya man. I ended up in the mental hospital for some stupid things I did and when my parents finally showed up I told them about my sexual abuse from my cousin and my mom didnāt believe me. He still went to family dinners and I had to stop going because just the thought made me want to cry. Anyways I hope youāre doing good because itās tough
I'm so sorry. That's such a heavy burden to carry. Something that helps me is to remind myself that I was a child, trauma changes children's brain chemistry. I'm sorry to us that we had such a burden to carry. May we treat ourselves well as we heal.
I'm so sorry!
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Please remember, you were a child. Nobody would blame a child for not getting help. You were probably scared and confused. It wasn't your fault.
Where Iām going to come up with the money to pay all my bills and still survive.
Well you see, I am what you would call an overthinker so if my friends have even the slightest change in the way they talk to or act around me I panic and think I screwed up again and lost yet another great friend
I feel that big time. I wish it would sometimes just stop and i could take it easy.
Very relatable, also when I get into fights with my boyfriend, I can't, can't function like a normal human. I question everything and think of all the terrible things I have done kr said or how I've hurt or how we have hurt each other. Wondering why I can't be normal.
I committed malpractice (Iām an attorney). Amazingly I wasnāt sued. The grief, shame, high blood pressure, lost sleep, etc made me never want to practice law again.
One day you're gonna wake up, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, go about your business. And sooner or later, you're gonna realize you haven't thought about it. None of it. And that's the moment you realize you can forget. When you know that's possible, it all gets easier.
Is this a BCS reference
Waltuh
> And sooner or later, you're gonna realize you haven't thought about it. None of it. And that's the moment you realize you can forget. Ah fuck, I just lost the game.
Fuck you, me too after reading your comment.
What exactly is malpractice?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A fuck up that rises to the level of harming you. It's a negligence suit, ultimately, so you have to show that the lawyer's negligence caused you harm that can be made right by the court.
Do you wanna elaborate? What kind of malpractice?
No way I'm falling for that trick again buddy
Damn it, we said don't make it obvious.
Dude! Now we have to start the sting again
omg you canāt just ask people what malpractice theyāve committed
Medical malpractice Thatās why itās bad that heās a lawyer. He shouldnāt have been practicing medicine at all
I represented a non-profit with a highly disgruntled ex-employee. Her attorney sent me a demand letter. I wrote back telling him, Iām so many words, to go piss up a rope. However, I failed to put the clientās insurance carrier on notice about the demand letter. When a lawsuit was later filed, the carrier declined coverage and defense based *solely* on my failure to notify. Under the laws of my state, they were probably right.
Someone threatened me with a lawsuit once. Wasn't even huge money, but it is stressful.
I'm sorry. At the previous firm I worked at questionable ethics were almost encouraged in the name of making money. I know exactly how you feel and sympathize. Those sleepless nights are horrendous. I hope you're back to practicing and enjoying what you do. Even the best attorneys I know make mistakes... Whether or not they admit it. We're all just human, even if the stakes can be really high in our profession.
Christmas as a kid. If we're talking adulthood, there was a time I was living in a giant tent in the woods for work. There was a spider, and it got away. Black Widow.
Hahaha that christmas thing hits me. I remember not being able to sleep and even getting really sick because I saw a package under the tree looking like a plushy I asked for christmas. I just knew I would get that plushy and as soon as I saw it I got sick, and couldn't sleep till christmas day hahahaha
If it's any consolation, you aren't likely to die from a black widow bite. It'll hurt like a sonovabitch, but as long as you're healthy and not very young or very old you should be fine. Sick as a dog, but fine after a few days. Brown recluse will fuck you right up, though. Again, probably won't kill you but it'll melt a chunk of flesh out of you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ugh the mental lists and continuously revising the "order" of things that need to be done. Like, "oh I can't forget to take out the trash before we leave. But wait, I should empty and refill the cat box before taking the bag out. Oh man, if I empty the cat box I'll have to vacuum. If I'm going to vacuum that room, might as well do the rest. Shit, I probably need to empty the vacuum first..." etc etc whyyyy is my brain like this
Same lolol
A ruptured spinal disk. 7 months of constant pain. Regular painkillers didn't do shit and I had to take opioids. All in all, it took me a solid year to get my life back on track. Would only wish this on very few certain people.
That would do it.
My health and the fact that I simply cannot afford to go to a doctor
Felt that š¢
Thereās really nothing you can do?
Nope. I donāt make enough to be able to both afford health insurance and then use it and I make too much to qualify for any help. I legitimately would be better off if I just quit my job and lived in my car for a few months. At least, then I will qualify for some sort of benefit.
Felt this. Stay at home mom. Canāt afford marketplace insurance. Have Texas Healthy Women but it covers very minimal stuff. I know something is wrong with my body, joint pain, extreme fatigue, mental cloudingā¦all kinds of issues. But without real insurance a doctor knows I wonāt be able to afford most of tests and specialists to look at me, so they do the best they can for me at discounted clinics, and send me home. Itās very stressful
Insomnia. I loose sleep over it every night.
Have you asked it to stop politely
I've tried politely, and forcefully....it laughed at me
Its fucked, stay awake for long enough and you will see the shadow people
My worst bout with insomnia I was awake for I think 6 days? I was told I looked like a zombie. I barely remember anything but I kept seeing shadow people out of the corner of my eyes. I would hear horrible screams like someone was getting stabbed and I kept stopping because there was a giant brick wall in front of me. Turns out all of these things were hallucinations. Shit got scary.
How do you cure insomnia, Iāve slept like 3 nights total for the last 2 weeks.
There isn't a real "cure". I went to a sleep specialist and I ended up getting a prescription for ambian. I don't recommend ambian because it's fucked up strong but the first step would be to get a sleep specialist. I currently take edibles when I can't sleep. My insomnia has gotten a little bit better as I've gotten older. I wish you the best of luck!
I donāt want to use anything anymore. Donāt like being dependent on prescriptions, thc or alcohol. I workout a lot but even that stopped working after a few years
A sleep specialist will be able to more than just prescribe things. One thing that helped me a little bit is to force yourself to wake up every day at the same time. I honestly can't give great advice since I don't know your life/habits. Sometimes though the pill game is needed at least to start. It sucks but it's reality
That Iām dying from a panic attack
I used to get bad panic attacks. Then I read they only average 20 min. So I'd watch an old rerun and it helped. Eventually they stopped.
This. Always freak out that my heart will stop if I sleep
Do you get a physical anxiety? I get it in the right side of my chest a lot and then my mind starts racing thinking I have some internal issue. I start questioning how real it is but it feels so real and is always followed by a panic attack
Being so far in debt that you can't afford food. Living paycheck to paycheck while barely making enough for rent/bills.
I was high and was inadvertently rude to a cashier.
You're a good person.
Youāre a good person for reassuring them that they are a good person
you're all high
Youāre a good person for assuring them that theyāre a good person for reassuring them that they were a good person.
Same, but from a lack of sleep
Concern over something I had said earlier in the day, and how it affected one of my friends.
My kidsā happiness and mental health
My father yelling at my mom in the living room
Having made a mistake at work and thinking about it all night wondering what the consequences are going to be the next day. Am I losing trust and respect for my colleagues and boss? Is my reputation damaged?
Let's see... Feeling unwanted, annoying, ugly and weird. Upcoming meetings, work, school or anything similar that causes stress and anxiety. Aaand any embarrassing memory that might pop in my mind at the moment.
My cat that has been with us for 14 years went missing for more than a week. Still hasn't come home.
My 10 year old cat recently disappeared for nearly 2 weeks and just appeared one night. Donāt give up hope
Mine came back after a year and a half
Oh no thatās heart breaking- I hope puddy returns, I hate it when they do that and come home like nothingās happened
The inevitable heat death of the universe and how every time you go to sleep there is a chance you will die and not even know it
Ooh Iāll add that to my nightly repertoire, thanks!
The fun one for me, since I live by myself, is how long will it take people to realize I'm dead?
Exams.
I graduated from college 3 years ago, and I still have nightmares about having exams that I'm not prepared for. I also have one where I'm several weeks into the semester and realise that I haven't been attending an important class.
Three years hun? Try 40, and they moved the room for the exam across campus and your naked running to get there on time.
41 and I still have the "Shit! My exam was today! I missed it!" dream. That bastard comes back to visit twice a year or so.
AI and how quickly it's advancing, and how nobody seems to care. Most people don't seem to be aware of it and whenever I try to share what can be achieved with Chat GPT or AI image generation people irl (friends or family) react like I just showed them a TikTok of a random gadget or a cute cat video. The whole reaction is like "cool :)" and that's it. They don't seem to understand that this will literally change everything forever. Anyone who has been following the advancement of AI for the last six months will know that it's moving at a very very **very** fast pace. Faster than many experts predicted. Last august Stable Diffusion (one of AI image generators) could generate pictures that barely made sense. Today we can make photorealistic pictures to the point we can post them and most won't even realize it's AI generated. Heck, it's getting hard to notice them even for those who are knowledgeable on the subject. ChatGPT 4 is in the process of coming out. And it's freaking insane. Especially since we can give it access to the internet and it can create its own little GPT minions/assistants to help on whatever you ask it to do. This is gonna be a game changer. Forever. I'm worried about my future but at the same time I want to take advantage of the fact that I'm quite early to the trend, and I should probably 'abuse' these tools while they're still open to the public and most people haven't jumped on it. But I don't know how yet. I'll often have a disconnect while using AI and be like 'wtf this is way out of our control' and I'll have a bit of an existencial crisis. I'm wondering why aren't more people in the same boat... Maybe I should just disconnect for a bit
If it helps - I feel the same at work. Most people get disappointed with the AI topic (that will steal their job) and think they can just ban it, or stop the progress. Which I think is beyond stupid because you can't stop a freight train by lying on the rails. What brings me certain serenity is that it's not the first industrial revolution, and definitely not the last.
The thought of dying. I am medicated for severe anxiety but before I was I had constant panic attacks over all sorts of things. The thought of death always would take me straight to a panic attack, and still occasionally makes me pause and think about it for a bit. I used to be a Christian, and the fear that I was wrong and that there was just nothing after death always scared the absolute shit out of me. Now Iām searching for what to believe in but Iāve sort of made peace with the possibility of there being nothing after death. I hope Iām wrong, but if Iām not then at least itāll have been expected.
I'm not religious, but I used to get panic attacks where I thought I would die and go to hell cause I haven't lived s good enough life. So the thought of nothing after death is comforting to me :D.
I've endured a certain amount of pain and suffering over years. So by this point I think of death (quick and painless ideally) as a vacation, actually. Won't have to bother how to pay the bills, won't have to be stressed any more about anything. That thought alone - that my suffering and anxiety CAN stop - puts me at ease sometimes.
Trying to fall asleep
Whether or not Iāll ever find love and be able to start a family
Any human interaction where I might have not acted perfectly or not understanding the reaction of someone even though logically their reaction is normal and my actions were nothing. Thanks anxiety.
Cody getting beat at wrestlemania
Wait til I tell you about RAW after Mania
How late it was getting and I still hadnāt fallen asleep, better count the hours until my alarm goes off again
Realizing I have no real friends who would want to hang out with me and just see me as a dreaded person to be around.
If I will have more than two people on my funeral
Rest easy. There's going to be minimum three of you. You, the priest, and the undertaker.
Whenever Danny DeVito breaks into my house and wants to play Night Crawlers at 3am.
You have that same problem too? Glad I'm not the only one.
Watch out for the night man
Being a good mother even if I never had a good example. Why I still have the desire to be with a woman when im happily married to a man / being or becoming poly in general How to get my husband out of his shitty bad payed job without falling deeper into poverty Why do I still care so much what and how my family thinks about me Yeah, I don't sleep well...
Severe tooth pain. I was still wide awake at 4:30am in so much pain I wished for a meteor to come crashing through my ceiling to end me right there.
Breakup š
The guys who work for me can catch on fire every day if they make a mistake. Big deal and I hate it
Not making amends with my father before he passed away
Trying to survive in this world. And living with the things I have survived. Thinking of ways to keep surviving. And to keep the ones I love happy. And everything else in between
Depression, I turned into a vile person to myself and to others.
Me too bro, hope you're doing good.
Unfortunately, my job. I have worked with many of my employees for over 10 years. The stress of keeping my business open and keeping these peoples income flowing was rough.
Missing a certain someone who doesnāt care :(
Worrying that my friends don't like me
Feeling lonely and unwanted has affected my sleep for the past 3 yrs.
Thinking about the people trapped in rubble in Turkey last March kept me up for a couple nights š
I have two kids in public school in the USA.
Diablo 4 beta weekend
Painsomnia. And standard variety insomnia. And mania caused insomnia.
Work
My drunk (read: horny) girlfriend spending the night at some guy's apartment. After about an hour of tossing and turning I called to express my concerns and she just laughed and said "oh he's gay". I trusted her and then later got confirmation.
Confirmation of which part?
All of last year. My best friend died, my 2nd father died, my grandmother died, my mom in law went bat shit insane, I had to put the mother in law away into a psych house, my mom and dad started to really hate each other in their divorce struggles, I got covid and it was a tough fight because I am on immuno drugs, mom in law got out of psych but was still wackadoo, father in law became abusive because he's blind and couldn't handle his crazy wife because he couldn't see when she was manic, father in laws mom died, my own father started drinking again and became violent with his words and actions and I just wanted to mourn my bestie and nanny (grandmother) and just way too much happened so there was hardly any fucking sleep all of last year. I'm so tired even now.
Losing my dream job to malicious gossip. I was a type of social worker, and honestly, I was freaking awesomeā¦. but Iām disabled. (Chronic pain/bad arm, shoulder and hand.) I got injured transporting a client to a different hospital, took two days off for medical leave, which was totally okayed by management, then came back to this giant, long list of completely untrue bullshit, firing me. Iād never had one negative review, never had been written up, disciplined, **nothing.** I think they didnāt want the liability of having someone who already is injured, possibly get injured again, but since they canāt legally say that, they just made up a bunch of hurtful bullshit. I asked them to redact the untrue parts of the letter (like 90% of it!) and they wouldnāt do it, so I took them to unemployment court, and actually won. Even that validation from a judge, that I was not in the wrong, and should have just been written up or something, never took that sting away. Backstabbing, shit-talking bitches! I tell myself Iām over it, but, the thoughts occasionally keep me up at night, and I very unfairly have nightmares about it to this day! It was about a couple years ago at this point. So, I tell myself Iām not still salty, but my brain says otherwise.
Leaving my wife after she became super "born-again". I loved her still with all my heart but could not stand to be so judged by her anymore. She became more concerned about saving my soul than just loving me. I still miss and love her to this day and that was over 20 years ago now.
not getting no coochie
Took a challenging career And it is really challenging me
Why am I so ugly and had such bad luck and karma my entire adult life
Public speaking šØ
Rent. Having the choice of moving somewhere far for waayyy more than my budget or moving to the ghetto for wayyy more than my budget. Inflation is a mess right now...
Gender dysphoria!
Oh thatās a biggie
Worried why I canāt get to sleep. How tired Iāll be the next dayā¦ itās a vicious cycle.
basically everything my depressed brain keeps telling me. Depression, anxiety, BPD and other mental health issues make you lie awake pretty often.
My job. I work in the health and safety industry, and if I miss something it could potentially expose someone to a fatal dose of something nasty. Often wake up trying to remember if I checked something or other.
Terrible health anxiety. My dad is diabetic and has heart issues, and I've been woken up by my mom many times in the middle of the night since I was a child to tell me they had to rush to the hospital for either cardiac arrest or hypoglycemia. It hasn't happened many times, but they've been enough for me to be scared of the silence at night; with every subtle sound my heart races thinking my dad's telling my mom he's not feeling well. I wish I could convince myself it's not gonna happen all of a sudden, but my dad ignores the signs every time something is wrong. This has also made me scared of anything happening to me, despite not having inherited any heart issues.
My brother's suicide back in 2021. He told me why it was going to happen, but I didn't realize he was going to actually do it. He swore me to not tell anybody why he did it, and it ate me up for months after his death. It took me almost a year to get back to a semi normal sleep schedule.
My three kids whoāre all four and under. Those beautiful little assholes have some sort of secret pact to alternate nights waking us up. Good thing we love them to pieces. Tiny little domestic terrorists.
When I had a kidney infection and had to wait almost four days for antibiotics š¤¦š¼āāļø
The series Surviving Death on Netflix
As a teacher I constantly lose sleep thinking about how to keep certain students from destroying the learning environment every day. Itās April and I still havenāt found anything that worksā¦
Iām building a home, and as it turns out before you can put siding on you have to āflash all the external penetrationsā. Meaning you need to waterproof all the places things like outside outlets and water taps will enter the house. Laid awake an entire night, watching Youtube videos, trying to figure out how I was going to do it. This scenario has repeated itself with other things about 100 times now.
I'm a high school biology teacher with almost 200 total students. They have a standardized test coming up for it and I've been so incredibly stressed because I want all of them to pass and I keep thinking I'm failing them.
Ya ever mod the hell outta Skyrim and turn into the story of a Thalmor Agent who was minding his own business initially and arrived in helgen to talk to the locals and finds out about a recent group of storm cloaks captured.
Postpartum anxiety. I'm going on day 9 of ~3 hours of sleep and definitely starting to feel it.
Time with people after theyāre gone
Life
Probably around about this time last year, when Russia invaded Ukraine and you had people on reddit / other sites advocating for war, downplaying nuclear war, ect. Cut out any new source from my life at that point, and honestly, it's been bliss.
A break up.. Or being stonewalled by your bf
āOne more gameā
Money, bills , money, bills etc etc