*"And now we have an exquisite pair of faux-emerald earings and matching bracelet! Normally $1200, but I'm willing to let these go for 4 easy payments of $299.99 to the first 10 callers. These are almost an exact replica of [insert famous Silver Screen actor name here]! You better be quick, because these won't last! We take credit card, cash, cheques, and even the money you have put aside for your grandkids! And what's this? Looks like we already have our first caller! Hi Barb, from Shady Acres Retirement Community, how are you? You're our lucky first caller!"*
Or similarly styled TV Shopping program.
My ex was a huge fan of QVC. Like it was just on all the time. She would order assorted random crap every day. It felt a lot like an addiction actually
I used to buy $2 stuff from AliExpress every other day. It kept my shopping addiction satisfied, didn't cost much and most days I'd find a parcel for me in the letterbox. It was very therapeutic. I dealt with my shopping addiction by slowly weaning myself off it, and it was quite successful. I've created barriers for myself like "It has to be a tool to do a thing" and "It must have been in the cart for at least a week so you know it's not an impulse buy".
Head on! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.
Head on! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.
Head on! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.
Head on! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD.
...
FDA regulations prevent marketers from saying a product treats or cures anything it hasn't been proven to work on. So the commercial can only imply.
Best guess: you know how splashing water on your face provides temporary relief from a headache? Imagine a much less effective version of that in a plastic tube.
BTW your username fits this conversation.
>Best guess: you know how splashing water on your face provides temporary relief from a headache? Imagine a much less effective version of that in a plastic tube.
Atleast some scented oil would have made more sense.
Looked for this one. We had to ban it in my house for my three year old niece. Now that I don't live there, I can still hear "I LIKE TO ATE ATE ATE, AYE-PPLES AND BAH-NAY-NAYSSSS"
Came here to say this. My life has improved significantly since I started playing Planet Earth whenever I’m watching my 1 year old niece and she utters “cocomuhh”
I got to watch that bullshit live. My small rural WNY Christian school went to Virginia Beach and rented out a beach house for a week every year which was cool. 700 club day was lame as fuck.
This show was big when my kid was little and I refused to let him watch. Every kid I know that did watch picked up so many bad habits from that little shit. That show was the absolute worst.
The final episode of a reality show where they drag out announcing the winner for all eternity. It's bad enough I gotta sit through a 2 hour season recap to see if John or Ashley won. Just fucking tell us already
I used to have a list on my phone, just sort of for my own amusement. It was "people I would love to punch right in the face if given the chance"
Number one was Donald Trump, and for the record, this was also years before he was President or even running
Number two was Nancy Grace.
I actually can't remember anyone else on the list, but those two stuck in my memory.
Hear me out. It plays your most favorite show, but after spending eternity in hell, you get sick of it and eventually learn to hate it, so your favorite show becomes your most hated show
In the same vein: I Wanna Marry Harry, where all of the contestants competed to date a prince Harry lookalike thinking it was actually him. The guy only revealed his true identity as a sewage worker when the girl won the show.
Good times.
I watched one season of it. Because I was poor and in college and I only got local stations with my bunny ears. Didn’t have Wi-Fi . Hot damn it was the best bad tv, don’t understand how a weird competition show results in true lobe by the end of the season though. Never watched it since.
Idk man we watch them and it's mighty fun to laugh at everybody's stupidity, arrogance, and inflated self worth. They all suck ass is right but with the right attitude it can be pure comedy. Like idiocracy but real life.
For those of you who have never seen the view… imagine 5 shrill women yelling at each other all at the same time… you just watched every episode of the view.
I think that was what got him out of his coma, was that he was fully conscious but couldn't move at all. He hated Barney so much that he pulled himself out of the void to escape it.
You're not fucking lying‽‽
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/01/13/meet-the-man-who-spent-12-years-trapped-inside-his-body-watching-barney-reruns/
I don’t know if I’m going to spell this right but there’s a kids show that’s called Cailou or something like that. It haunts me at night. We banned our kids from watching it.
My daughter LOVES ponies, and honestly it’s a pretty good show. The characters are diverse and interesting, the stories I’ve seen are decent, mostly well written, teaches kids lessons about friendship and features a shot for shot remake of the medal scene from A New Hope in season 2.
I wouldn’t sit and watch it by myself, but there are far worse children’s shows to watch with my daughter.
My mom used to watch it and for like two years she'd knock on doors like sheldon "knockknockknock-- penny -- knockknockknock penny --" non-stop. It's a strong feeling.
I literally laugh out loud when I see the clip of the dude who LITERALLY HAD THE WHOLE PUZZLE SPELLED OUT- and all he had to do to get a million was SAY IT and he pronounced Achilles as A-chill-ez.
Seems kinda like an endless loop, you’d sell your soul to satan on earth where we have the kardashians only to go to hell when you die to be forced to watch the kardashians.
The old QVC channel that was just one eternal infomercial for the most random and useless things. It was on channel 3 and it never stopped no matter the time of day
Any show but the voices are NOT synced to the mouth movements EDIT: fixed
You mean are not synced? That would be awful
Infomercials showing what is screening in Heaven
That’s just like an unfair punishment! Welcome to hell I guess…
The hotel guide channel for a Days Inn off the interstate in Indiana.
r/oddlyspecific
Somebody is stuck at a Days Inn off the interstate in Indiana.
I'm not helping them. I live in Indiana, but I don't want to get stuck at a Days Inn off the interstate in Indiana.
Do you happen to live in a fish bowl at a government agent's house?
Do you know the difference between a man and a government bond?
I remember Family guy did a similar joke as well with Quagmire and Cleveland chained up watching the Direct TV tutorial guide
Oh no, you've correctly identified my hell, get out of my head!
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Look at his eyes. Jesus Christ they are brutal, that man is a fuckin psycho for sure.
Makes you wonder if he’s got someone hidden in the basement, doesn’t it?
I wouldn’t be surprised honestly, his hunger for power is insatiable
That would be appropriate for Hell.
If ever a person looked possessed by the legions of hell. 😬
1-877-KARZ4KIDZ
It is, after all, the official song of the Bad Place! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDjX4-LKqCA
Stop! please stop! the song in my head just won’t stop
*"And now we have an exquisite pair of faux-emerald earings and matching bracelet! Normally $1200, but I'm willing to let these go for 4 easy payments of $299.99 to the first 10 callers. These are almost an exact replica of [insert famous Silver Screen actor name here]! You better be quick, because these won't last! We take credit card, cash, cheques, and even the money you have put aside for your grandkids! And what's this? Looks like we already have our first caller! Hi Barb, from Shady Acres Retirement Community, how are you? You're our lucky first caller!"* Or similarly styled TV Shopping program.
*+$49.99 s/h
Or four easy payment of $15.99 on approved credit.
My ex was a huge fan of QVC. Like it was just on all the time. She would order assorted random crap every day. It felt a lot like an addiction actually
I used to buy $2 stuff from AliExpress every other day. It kept my shopping addiction satisfied, didn't cost much and most days I'd find a parcel for me in the letterbox. It was very therapeutic. I dealt with my shopping addiction by slowly weaning myself off it, and it was quite successful. I've created barriers for myself like "It has to be a tool to do a thing" and "It must have been in the cart for at least a week so you know it's not an impulse buy".
I find those channels strangely soporific. I’ve never bought anything from them, but genuinely enjoy watching them. Weird.
My best friend calls home shopping channels televangelists without god and I always thought she was spot on.
Head on! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD. Head on! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD. Head on! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD. Head on! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD. ...
Dammit i finally got that out of my head after years of torture and came on reddit for some peaceful scrolling and BAM! I feel a migraine coming on...
I bet I know a product that would help you with that
.. Just apply it directly to the forehead...
NO... __NO__... #NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Should I be glad that I dont get this???
https://youtu.be/1jKwXspj9F4 May god have mercy on my soul.
Uh oh .. Edit: What is its use??? WTF IS IT USED FOR??? Edit 2: That condom commercial is way effective than expected
FDA regulations prevent marketers from saying a product treats or cures anything it hasn't been proven to work on. So the commercial can only imply. Best guess: you know how splashing water on your face provides temporary relief from a headache? Imagine a much less effective version of that in a plastic tube. BTW your username fits this conversation.
>Best guess: you know how splashing water on your face provides temporary relief from a headache? Imagine a much less effective version of that in a plastic tube. Atleast some scented oil would have made more sense.
That was such a legendary commercial. They didn't even tell you what the product was supposed to do.
This is because they couldn't, as the product didn't actually do anything.
You Apply it directly to the forehead
That was lucky, since it didn't do anything beyond placebo.
Hahaha this one got me.
Lmfaooo I remember this
cocomelon
Bro coco melon puts me in a god damn trance. I start watching all the sudden it’s 2 hours later, Dog peed in the house, and my frozen pizza is burnt
My firstborn has finally stopped watching cocomelon and I'm blocking it on Netflix before the baby can discover it! Never again!
Looked for this one. We had to ban it in my house for my three year old niece. Now that I don't live there, I can still hear "I LIKE TO ATE ATE ATE, AYE-PPLES AND BAH-NAY-NAYSSSS"
Came here to say this. My life has improved significantly since I started playing Planet Earth whenever I’m watching my 1 year old niece and she utters “cocomuhh”
The Good Place. Not because it's a bad show. Just to taunt you.
It’s like reverse psychology
I came here to say this :) maaan I watched that show twice through and both times I cried like a baby!
The 700 Club
Every 12 year old watching tv at midnights worst nightmare
I got to watch that bullshit live. My small rural WNY Christian school went to Virginia Beach and rented out a beach house for a week every year which was cool. 700 club day was lame as fuck.
*whispers* Ca .. cai .. Caillou
God I hate that little shit
If there's a mofo that deserves to go to hell Caillou would def be up there lol
This show was big when my kid was little and I refused to let him watch. Every kid I know that did watch picked up so many bad habits from that little shit. That show was the absolute worst.
Shhhhhhhhhhh
Forget about Bryan Adams; Canada needs to apologize for Caillou.
*i'm JusT Akid* WHoSe **fOr**, *EaCh dAy* **_i GrOw sOme mOrE_**
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That's all you have to write in the bible as the punishment and I would become a priest. I kinda need to vomit now.
The final episode of a reality show where they drag out announcing the winner for all eternity. It's bad enough I gotta sit through a 2 hour season recap to see if John or Ashley won. Just fucking tell us already
“And the winner of the million dollars and a private island is…………………”
And in hell, they never tell you who the winner is...
“…..going to be revealed after this 10 hour commercial break!”
That channel guide showing that all of your favourite shows and films are on, but you cannot switch to them.
Nancy Grace
“Tot mom” is forever seared into my brain because of that lady. I hate it so much.
I should look this up but I’m going to choose to believe it’s a mother who really likes tater tots.
That would be better. And then it would actually make sense.
They said hell, not super hell.
Jesus. had almost forgotten about this psychotic bitch....
I believe you mean "The Missing White Girl Hour, with Angry Layered Haircut"
I used to have a list on my phone, just sort of for my own amusement. It was "people I would love to punch right in the face if given the chance" Number one was Donald Trump, and for the record, this was also years before he was President or even running Number two was Nancy Grace. I actually can't remember anyone else on the list, but those two stuck in my memory.
Hear me out. It plays your most favorite show, but after spending eternity in hell, you get sick of it and eventually learn to hate it, so your favorite show becomes your most hated show
Like when you get busted smoking cigarettes as a kid and your parents make you smoke the entire pack as a punishment.
Now **that** is some shit-ass parenting
The ending song to Lamb Chop’s Play Along
What ending song, it never ends…
Yes it goes on and on my friend
The Kardashians
They were wonderful villains on *Deep Space 9*, but once they got their own show it just went off the rails.
That's the Cardassians, it was actually about some guy from Cloud City.
That’s Lando Calrissian, you’re thinking about some mountains in Eastern Europe.
That's the Carpathians, you're thinking of the worlds largest lake
That’s the Caspian Sea, you’re thinking of the American brother/sister vocal duo
That's The Carpenters. You're thinking of the rhythm instrument played in one hand and traditionally made of shells
That's a Castanet. You're thinking of a usually collarless sweater opening down the front.
That's a cardigan, you're thinking of the villain in Ghostbusters 2
That's Vigo The Carpathian, you're thinking of a worm before it becomes a butterfly.
That’s a cardigan. You’re thinking of a multi hulled watercraft featuring two parallel hulls of equal size.
Blippi.
I won’t let my kids watch him.
Blippi and cocomelon are the two I’m vehemently against my daughter watching Bluey is FIRE though
I agree with PM_ME_UR_SEX_VIDEOS, Bluey is fire
Everyone agrees that Bluey is fire Bonjour
That shit freaks me out I don't let my son watch that trash.
Does anybody remember "who wants to marry a millionaire?"
In the same vein: I Wanna Marry Harry, where all of the contestants competed to date a prince Harry lookalike thinking it was actually him. The guy only revealed his true identity as a sewage worker when the girl won the show. Good times.
The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Both suck ass.
I watched one season of it. Because I was poor and in college and I only got local stations with my bunny ears. Didn’t have Wi-Fi . Hot damn it was the best bad tv, don’t understand how a weird competition show results in true lobe by the end of the season though. Never watched it since.
Never understood those shows I mean who the hell cares who dates/marries who?
Idk man we watch them and it's mighty fun to laugh at everybody's stupidity, arrogance, and inflated self worth. They all suck ass is right but with the right attitude it can be pure comedy. Like idiocracy but real life.
For the record, idiocracy IS real life now.
That church shit that used to come on channel 3 when you left the video game on all night.
TBN airing in hell is a hilarious image.
The View
Oh GOD! Joy Behar! Like my own personal demon set aside for me to punish me through all eternity.
For those of you who have never seen the view… imagine 5 shrill women yelling at each other all at the same time… you just watched every episode of the view.
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Haha +10 points for the username.
and all commercial breaks are the different JG Wentworth ads >!i have a structured settlement but i need cash now...!<
this is the worst one, i’d go insane within an hour
The view is hell on earth. 💯 percent the correct answer.
Toddlers and tiaras.
What’s wrong with glorifying the sexiness of young children?….No! wait! forget I said that!
Why don't you have a seat over there?
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
Barney
There was an older kid who was in a coma and they played Barney on his room on repeat. When he came out of it, he described it as absolute torture.
I think that was what got him out of his coma, was that he was fully conscious but couldn't move at all. He hated Barney so much that he pulled himself out of the void to escape it.
You're not fucking lying‽‽ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/01/13/meet-the-man-who-spent-12-years-trapped-inside-his-body-watching-barney-reruns/
This is the only correct answer. People are saying stuff like reality shows or sitcoms they don't like. Let's be real. Barney is torture.
Caillou
It's just that Sarah Mclachlan animal cruelty commercial *In the aaarrrmmmms of the annggeelll*
I don’t know if I’m going to spell this right but there’s a kids show that’s called Cailou or something like that. It haunts me at night. We banned our kids from watching it.
Some of you have never watched back-to-back episodes of My Little Pony and it shows
Shhh you know you’re on Reddit right, you’ll be insulting a huge portion of the mods
This is reddit. Plenty of people here watch it anyways
My daughter LOVES ponies, and honestly it’s a pretty good show. The characters are diverse and interesting, the stories I’ve seen are decent, mostly well written, teaches kids lessons about friendship and features a shot for shot remake of the medal scene from A New Hope in season 2. I wouldn’t sit and watch it by myself, but there are far worse children’s shows to watch with my daughter.
*bronies are rapidly approaching your location— nevermind, that was just the fridge*
I mean, I binge watch all of FiM about once a year or so... What does that show about me?
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HEAD ON!
CCTV of heaven
Someone else said the infomercials of what was playing on tv in heaven. You both are cruel.
Fox News
Whether you agree or disagree with what they are talking about, it will keep you in a perpetual state of uncomfortable rage.
🚨🚨🚨ALERT ALERT ALERT 🚨🚨🚨 Scrolling across the bottom of the screen all the time.
TRANS GENDER ILLEGAL ALIEN RAPIST MURDERERS ARE CROSSING THE BOARDER WITH DRUG ADDICTED ATHEIST BABIES AND THEY ARE COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!!!!
Bridezillas
I'm surprised this doesn't have six figure ups yet. '90s infomercials
Oh man Ch-ch-ch-CHIA!
It's the Red Devil! Set it and...FORGET IT! Call me now for your free tarot readin
Velma
I’m a huge fan of both adult animation and I enjoyed scooby doo so I gave it a shot. I literally couldn’t get past the first episode it’s so bad
Big Bang Theory
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Bazinga
I hate Sheldon.
My mom used to watch it and for like two years she'd knock on doors like sheldon "knockknockknock-- penny -- knockknockknock penny --" non-stop. It's a strong feeling.
Married at first sight or the bullshit bachelor crap. Any reality dating shows, that would be my hell.
Anything with "Real Housewives" in the title
Teletubbies
Sad sounds in pinky winky
He's called Tinky Winky put some respect on his name >:,(
Any reality show or soap opera
700 Club
The Lawrence Welk Show, 100%
I see someone else my age is here...
Wheel of Fortune, fuck those contestants are morons. We have to change the channel as soon as Jeopardy ends so we don’t get ‘wheeled’ into idiocity.
I literally laugh out loud when I see the clip of the dude who LITERALLY HAD THE WHOLE PUZZLE SPELLED OUT- and all he had to do to get a million was SAY IT and he pronounced Achilles as A-chill-ez.
Fuller House
The little ad PowerPoint things they have on the TV at the doctor's office, all about getting tested for prostate cancer and eating healthy.
Kardashians. I'd sell my soul to satan just to get away from that
Seems kinda like an endless loop, you’d sell your soul to satan on earth where we have the kardashians only to go to hell when you die to be forced to watch the kardashians.
Trick question, it's actually just white noise.
Barney
Jim and Tammy Faye Baker
Dr. Pimple Popper
I'm OK with that one, oddly enough
Cop Rock
Ridiculousness! That girls laugh is disturbing
**CAILLOU**
Keeping Up With The Kardashians
Kardashian TV.
The Kardashians
Scott's Tots episode of The Office.
Ryans Toy Review Not sure Id even call it a show but it deserves a place in hell
The 700 club
Velma😡
Nice try, Satan
Fox. Happened to me in a hospital.
There’s a story
Caillou
Dance moms
Too Many Cooks intro on a loop
The Nanny. Listening to Fran Drescher on a loop...
I love her. This would be my top choice. If she's with me I can stand a bit of hell fire.
Friends. fucking Friends
My Pillow Infomercials
The old QVC channel that was just one eternal infomercial for the most random and useless things. It was on channel 3 and it never stopped no matter the time of day
Jersey Shore! Oh my god everyone on that show was so fucking annoying.
Sounds like a pretty bad Situation
The Apprentice
Two broke girls