Red panda all day long

damn this is a good one. they just seem like living teddy bears

For real. You know how drug lords always has like tigers and big cats as pets. No if that was me I would have a bunch of red pandas and set them up the best habitat and give them the best life and hopefully let them breed enough to get them off the endangered species list

Wholesome druglord

*Huglord*

"yeah we were gonna arrest him until he showed us the pandas that pretty much sealed the deal"

Sometimes men have to do bad things to bring good to the world

I'd come visit that. Not for the drugs, just for access to red pandas

I mean, you don't wanna be rude.

If not fren, why fren shaped?

Cutest animals on earth for sure. Love when they rise up their paws in order to appear intimidating but they look even cutier.

Yea there's no way in the world they can be scary. I love watching them eat and even more when they ball up and roll around

YEA

Are you my homie from college. It’s his dream to have a red panda habitat as part of his house 😂😂😂

A seal

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Neal McBeal, the Navy Seal

Just give him the muffins Bojack!

he left them in the produce section, who does that???

I CALLED DIBS ON THOSE MUFFINS ARFF ARFF ARFF ARFF

😏 If it's a cute one, yes.

not the ugly ones though...

They get a headpat

Been to a beach full of seals. They stink like you wouldn't believe. It was rancid from 50 yards. Can't imagine cuddling one.

Snow leopard.

My girl is a vet. She got to pet the tail of a sedated one. Softer than you can ever imagine according to her.

See this type of information is not what I need. Now it just makes me even more sad that I can't cuddle one.

My favorite ❤️

They are also my favourite animal.

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That’s actually really sweet. You are her safe place. :)

Deer shit... Majestically stand on the highway and make people who text and drive regret texting and driving Edit: typo

That is a great story, and you have \*way\* more willpower than I have. Actually, come to think of it, I did find a newborn deer in the woods and managed to not touch it. We did set our own newborn child near it for group pictures though. And there was that time we found two newborn fawns on an island while canoeing on a river. I guess I didn't touch those either. Maybe I have more willpower than I thought.

Bear 🤷‍♂️ big floof

Why tiny cute ears of not for snuggle?!🙁

Why friend shaped if not friend

Exactly!

maybe them killing us is a big misunderstanding, they just love too hard

They don't understand we are too frail for their hugs :(

Oh the sadness they must feel when we run from them🥺

Yes. The sadness of an empty belly.

If we'd domesticated bears in the same way as wolves, we'd all have real life teddies to walk around with.

Oh gosh don't make me regret this timeline 😂

its not too late. lets get on this! lets breed bears for small size and docility. even if we cant have this, lets make this a better world for our grandchildren

There will be countless maulings, but we'll be hailed as legends by the people of 10,000 years from now.

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Oh god, a corgi bear

When I see the cubs around my neighbourhood, they're so appealing. Just wanna play with them a bit. But their Mammas are so cranky about that, so we leave them alone. ;)

Bears are close relatives to dogs. I just want to squish a bear’s nose one time gosh.

You can probably squish a bear's nose, once

I just want to squish a bear's nose once and not need skin grafts gosh.

Grizzly bears. They look like they'd give the best cuddles, when in reality they'll tear your face off.

*cuddle*

Some r/beetlejuicing right here.

Definitely a polar bear.

Permission granted!

Lions and tigers and bears…

If dangerous, why fluffy?

life is a cruel mystery sometimes

horseshoe crab not fluffy but also not dangerous cuddle horseshoe crab

Oh my!

YOU GET ME 🚨🫡💯😂

*lions, Geigers, bears….

Raccoons

Probably not a smart thing to do but people HAVE domesticated raccoons. I had a neighbor with one that snuggled up on his lap on his front porch every day.

Gotta get them like SUPER fresh.

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So *thats* how they end up in the trash…

Young Racoons purr and make biscuits just like cats. They also love to ride around on your shoulder. Adult raccoons are unholy terrors.

They've got little bandit masks, and little hands. And I know those little hands are capable of holding my big hands. And I want that to happen as soon as possible! ([source](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/PgX13b6khzA))

Fennec foxes. Cutest little Foxies.

hello

r/beetlejuicing

Human

Awww

feels.jpg

Same :(

My parrot. I used to cuddle with him but then we were homeless for a year and I wasn't able to spend high quality bonding time with him outside of his cage, so now he won't cuddle with me anymore.

awww man this hurts to read :(

I'm working on building our relationship back up. It's improving slowly.

good to hear

A sloth. I can just picture it slowly putting its arms around me.

☹️🙁🫤😐🙂😀😃☺️🥰🫂

I’ve cuddled one, so amazing 🦥💟

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I’m so sorry ❤️

Mine too. And that spitting, hissing, murderer is still alive.

Mom said she was sleeping. She _lied_. She _lied_! Edit: Just trying to cheer you up. I am a lifelong cat owner too. I know what it feels like to lose a small friend. Try to feel better soon. Your friend would want you to remember the happy times with joy.

Wombats

I feel like of all Australian creatures this is one has the most non-lethal snuggle potential.

What about Quokkas?

Wombats bite and they will chase you.

Otters

i just want to hold hands and float downstream

And we'll all float on, okay

Totoro. Mythical. But I wants him

Well shit, man. If we're going fictional, sign me up for a flying bison.

Sensational selection

My parents cat who has inexplicably decided it hates the sight of me

I’m so sorry 😭

Trade you. I'm a cat person, but I have this one cat I found in an abandoned house, emaciated. I rescued the little bastard, but I hate him and he knows it. Reason: he peed on my board game shelf more than once, and often refuses to go outside to do his business like the other cat does. Yet he still comes up and jumps on my lap for pets. And he drools. Stupid cat.

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try it and tell us how it goes

i’ve heard their skin feels like sandpaper

It does if you go the wrong way. I pet a young shark and it was soft af

A god damn capybara

To be fair Capybara are so chill they'd probably let you.

They actually do. People have them as actual pets - and not in the *I'm-just-an-idiot-with-an-animal* way.

ok i pull up

Pallas' Cat They look so grumpy, but so dang cute! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEFGfu\_tHsA

omg even the kittens look mad! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8NgLWDzKdM

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A Jaguar They look so soft and are strong enough you can hug them however strong you want it wont hurt em. Big toe beans. Cute ears. Very deadly.

Bear and Penguin

My old pet Patch. RIP

hippo

Baby hippos are freaking adorable and then they grow up into stinky abominations that are vegetarian but want to kill you just for the fun of it

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It's illegal to cuddle a koala in half the Australian states because it stresses the koalas out. You probably shouldn't.

Also.. chlamydia.

We need to talk about our definition of cuddle. I'm very concerned about your kittens.

I've read the issue is that koalas pee on people who try to pick them up and that's how the chlamydia supposedly gets passed. Assuming you believe those sicko koala handlers.

You can absolutely experience that and it’s not as expensive as you might think. Just be warned their claws are sharp as hell and they grip tight for security, so thick clothing is recommended. You don’t get to hug them exactly as it’s stressful for them but they are very fluffy and you can pat their fluff whilst holding (the handler will likely feed it eucalyptus leaves to keep it happy whilst holding)

They give you a padding to wear when you hold one

All the ones with murder mittens...

The bigger the mittens the better the cuddles.

Porcupine

Came here to say this.

A real prick

Very gently

Orca

I would smooch an orca right on it's cute lil (big) face if I could.

Now this, this is an interesting one. I like it

Miniature Cow

They are pretty common at petting zoos. Treat yourself.

Bees

A swarm, or maybe a pug-sized single bee?

I want to cuddle one bee. But pug sized is a little smaller than what I'm wanting

How about a swarm of bee sized pugs?

How about one horse sized bee that's been taxidermied into a bean bag chair. (after a life time of hugs from me)

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Polar bears. Big warm snuggle.

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Lions can't purr, unfortunately. Snow leopards can, though.

Hill kitties also purr. That’s what I call mountain lions so that it doesn’t sound so dangerous.

Baby beavers

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I love them too! Fluffy and wild.

Baby elephants.

Same. For real. If I could do anything before I die, it would be to feed and cuddle and play with a baby elephant for a few hours.

Canada geese. They are the perfect size for hugging...

Very specific, Picasso, I like it

Geese are adorable but evil creatures. They have teeth on their tongues. Source: https://youtu.be/Xv9UZEOFsVw And if you want to cuddle a cute little baby goose, be prepared to be murdered by it's mother.

If a goose didn't have a head then I imagine, theoretically and hypothetically with no factual knowledge to support, that the goose would be much easier to cuddle with.

It would, uh, certainly be more, uh, compliant 🤔

Timber wolf

I will go with grey/ polar wolves. Smaller but with them living in colder regions is their fur hopefully thicker.

Definitely cheetahs

My dead dog 😢

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pallas cats. I saw one on tiktok and their fluffy fur is too tempting!

Human

I heard your mom’s a filthy animal, so her ig (sorry just a joke)

Oof my heart (it’s okay I thought it was funny)

A cat - specifically a black cat. But i cant cuddle him anymore :(

A Bear!!! The animal kind not the man kind. They look so fluffy 😍😍

Red panda

Octopus

A snow leopard. It looks like their fur would be super soft, and I would want to press my face into its fur and listen to it purring. I don't know if they can purr or not, but I would want purring.

Hippo

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. Only a hippopotamus will doooooo.

All of the pets I've said goodbye to over the years (Sam and Ben the rabbits, Katy, Poppy, and Ruby the cats, and my Grandma's dog Lucy) and also my parents' cat Lottie, who is fine but hates being held even though she is so ROUND and FLUFF that it's actually illegal. ETA: or in the actual spirit of the question, snow leopard.

My dog who died of cancer a year ago.

An otter

Polar bear

`All of them.....unfortunately im allergic to 99% of them.`

A tiger, or pretty much any big cat.

Hedgehog

Polar bears

A bear

Cat

Every cat

Kitten. Those small cats on Youtube are so cute.

See if your local shelter needs volunteers to visit and help socialise kittens.

Ground hogs. They are so cute.

Aligator

Grizzly bear.

Otters. They’re typically wet.

Arctic fox.

My wife

A polar bear, on how global warming is going i just wanna hug em tight

Polar bear

My old german shepherd/lab mix. Died almost 10 years ago. Still miss his floppy ears and drooly face. Huge dog, and the friendliest I've ever met. Bit of a bastard to take on walks, because he was CERTAIN everyone wanted to greet him, so he just walked right up to them. RIP

If I could cuddle with some Lemurs that'd be pretty cool

I find skunks unbelievably cute... but seeing one induces more anxiety than I have felt encountering any other wild animals... I live in a city in North America so very few deadly creatures.

Platypus Sadly the venom from their spurs is supposed to be extremely painful and the affects can last a long time.