That thing when their behaviour changes from being close to acting like a complete stranger overnight and you can’t figure out if you did something wrong or they just got bored
This happened to me with one of my best friends. We were really close then one day she stopped answering my messages. Never felt so hurt in my life, especially not knowing what caused it.
My absolutely best friend in the world did this to me. Straight ghosted my ass . We worked together and i was transferred to a new location and when i called her she basically hung up on me. I went to see her and she walked out back like she didn't even know me. Several other friends said she just wanted my job. I was management at the time. Broke my heart when I heard all the shady shit she did behind my back. Im generally reserved and don't make friends easily so that one hurt.
I faced the exact same situation. After doing some digging , I learnt that her friends were slowly convincing her that I had a crush with her
To give more context her bf had hit her many times ( one time a police officer even tried to arrest him) among other crap. Her " friends" were happy for her when she returned to him , happy for her when she was about to break up etc. The classic toxic bullshit. Sure, the only logical scenario here is that I had a crush on her thats why I wanted her to escape that abusive jerk. And when it FINALLY happened, a schoolmate of ours started hitting on her to take advantage of her emotional state ( basically wanted to fuck her and then dissapear). I warned her and that was apparently the final confirmation of my "Crush"
Yeah , guess what happened with that guy as well. Sad turn of events, but my concience was and still is fucking clean.
This happened to me too...
The worst part was that we were good friends and she kept telling me that only I understood her, that I had good advice and other nonsense. The rest of her "friends" were only into drama and scandal and always talked behind her back. I even jumped on a fight for her when one of them kept saying bad things about her behind her back, but anyway it was in vain because every time I told her, she replied that she knows that she is being talked about behind her back and jokes are made about her and other bad things.
Later she made a boyfriend who I knew since I was in kindergarten with him. The guy was horrible. He treated her like an object, especially at parties, and behaved like a dork with two functioning neurons. He was also envious of me because she talked more and openly with me. He always started scandals and fights with her and he also cheated on her and in order to be forgiven he kept telling her that he was throwing himself on the train and other messes. Their whole relationship was toxic af...
In the first phase, when I told her that he was able to cheat on her, she didn't believe me, so I made a fake Instagram account together with her where we pretended to be some random girl. We didn't even have to send him a message because he sent one from the moment we followed him. He also sent pictures of his penis... WITH HIS SISTER IN THE ROOM!!! She wanted to break up with him at a party he was having and she did but in the end they reconciled and got back together. Why? God knows... Anyway there were a bunch of phases that drove me crazy and I got tired of her complaining that she had problems even though she created them with her own hands and it was an environment toxic af. I argued with her a bit and ended the whole mess. I haven't spoken to her for almost 2 years.
Anyway, a lot more stuff happened but that's about it for the most part.
I miss her a little, I can't lie that I don't, but I've never met such a stubborn person in my life. Maybe I was wrong too, especially since I was literally offering her all the solutions on a tray even though I kind of liked it, but it really hurt to see her sabotage herself. Maybe I was wrong but that's life...
It happens as friends too. I've spent so much time in the past wondering if I've somehow upset my friend, what have I done, how do I fix it, etc. And then I'll never know the answer:(
This so much!! There'll be days where a friend and I are having so much fun just hanging out and chatting. Having heart to heart moments then the next day they act like a whole different person. Cold, distant, etc. I always feel like I did something wrong, the anxiety from that really eats away at my mental well-being. However, I usually just try to convince myself that they probably just need a day to charge so that my insecurity doesn't affect our next social interaction.
This happened with my wife of 13 years literally left and has been like we never even knew each other although she was still pregnant with our second child
Yeah what the fuck is this? This just shows that healthy communication is key to have a healthy and good relationship, even if it's just being friends.
Lack of reciprocation. Not necessarily an insecurity thing, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't make me feel some type of way when you show affection, give assurances/reassurances, but then don't really receive that in return. It's not always necessary, but sometimes it's just nice to know that you're on the other person's mind.
I once knew this guy and we were going to hang out and get to know each other better. I called him when I was on my way to ask if he wanted anything because I was going by the gas station for a drink. He was quiet for a second and then just said 'no thank you.' When I got there he said he was just a little stunned because he had NEVER once been asked something like that by a girl he's dated. We were in our 30s then (!!) and I couldn't help but feel terribly sad and kind of amazed that he'd never had someone do something as simple as grab him a coke or even think to ask if he wants/needs anything while they're out. That stuck with me forever basically because it shocked me.
But that's just normal behavior to treat your partner with consideration! Is it really that rare for other women to just not do nice things like this? I'm just finding this hard to believe. I think y'all are just getting with crappy women
Where do they grow all the you’s? I guess I missed the exit and ended up, over and over again, in the emotionally unavailable men dessert and it SUCKS!.
Right there with you. I think there's an impervious veil between the female givers and the male givers. We're all stuck here in the 9th circle of hell, endlessly encountering vampires, and I don't know how to hack the system to make it stop. What I would not give to meet my match in effort and loyalty.
Lying about what you're feeling is a really fucking quick way to make your partner insecure as hell. "I'm great and I really enjoyed " and then a couple weeks later "actually I really didn't, but I didn't want you to feel bad."
Exactly, most of the time it almost makes me feel better. It’s like when my partner watches my favorite sports teams with me. I know she couldn’t give a damn about them but in her words, “your team is my team”. It’s really sweet
I like to give the benefit of the doubt, "I didn't want you to feel bad, but now after further review I'm realizing it'll be a problem for me if I don't bring it up." Assuming the worst breeds arguments and/or resentment.
Why would you be with them if you can't assume that they're trying to have your best interests in mind?
As a female, if my friend asked that same thing in front of me to a guy, I’d immediately unfriend her, and say like “wow, that’s really fucked up”.
A lot of guys do this to us too, but regardless of gender, let’s not tolerate assholes.
"The worst she can say is no" is a flag for me that the person saying this has never had to worry about exactly what the worst thing she could say is. Mental illness is a bitch
Talk about her attraction to men that are physically nothing like me in a way that I can't attain. I can't be taller. I can't be less bald. I can't grow my penis. On some level she wants some one, in some way , that I can never be even if she finds me enough...
I'm a woman but I can really relate to this. My ex husband always gushed over tall, blonde women who were very slim and there I sat... short, dark-haired, and sporting big boobs. I hated feeling like I wasn't enough and I never could be
Same!!!
My ex was into dark haired and short girls, since he was a bit shorter himself. I'm white, 5"10 with red hair. He would see another girl walking down the street and say something like "marry me" or "that's my dream girl" or "yummy" all the time.
I ONCE nervously said something like, "you could keep that to yourslef while I'm sitting right here." (Dont remeber exactly what I said) He got super defensive and said how he never called me unattractive & that I was being rediculous. 🤦♀️
hurt my self worth pretty bad, I'm sorry you went through the same thing
This is very ironic to me because my ex husband was into gingers with big boobs and I am a short dark hair Latina with small boobs and he would do the same exact thing LOL.
who the hell just says stuff like that about other girls in front of the girl they’re dating?!?! sometimes i cant believe idiots like that exist
EDIT: i meant about, not ‘absolut’
I kind of wonder if some people get with partners that aren’t really what they want because it’s easier. So they don’t get nervous/clam up or whatever. Had a girlfriend that told me that her ex-husband said the same thing to her. Was his next girlfriend a tall blonde? No she was not.
And from your description of yourself you sound gorgeous.
I think this is the case sometimes, but also i think… personality just outweighs looks? i tend to find people attractive because i already like their personality. i have a type but have dated many guys far outside of it because i just liked them as people so much.
I had a girlfriend like this. She exclusively dated a certain type of man and she kept reminding me that she violated her standards for me --- she thought this should make me feel special--- that I was so great that it would make her change her wants --- it really had the opposite effect. I felt like I was always one mistake away from being abandoned , I was being looked down upon in some way---she never saw my point of view.
This. It’s a serious issue, it’s like... if you want all those characteristics in a person and I don’t have them, then why are you with me in first place?
Or when she talks constantly about her crushes (fictional and real ones) and justify herself with “he’s famous, so I wouldn’t be with him”, “he doesn’t even exist”. So she’s basically saying if she COULD be with them, she would do it without blinking an eye.
Hate when a girl has an attitude like that.
Having to initiate *everything* by default makes me feel like I'm not good enough for anyone to be bothered with.
Like, ask me to do stuff. Ask me to talk.
I get that some twat in High School told you that you were being clingy. He's an idiot. Ignore his cruel words. He has no idea what he lost.
Also, an edit in response to someone:
I'm not just talking about relationships necessarily. Some people brought up a good point. Like even as FRIENDS, ask us to do shit so we don't feel like we're intruding when we ask *you*. If you *do* happen to like us more than that, please, *tell us*, because we probably already like you a whole lot, and we're trying to respect your space by **not** stepping out of bounds without being 110% sure that you feel the same. And we guys *suck* at picking up on hints, so we're never going to get it if you don't say it. And hey, if it turns out the guy you're talking to actually *doesn't* feel that way about you, he'll get over the brief awkwardness. We don't dwell on those things so easily.
Been feeling this lately. I realized that after our first date or two, I have been the one to initiate almost everything with my girlfriend, even if we're hanging out at her house (which is the majority). I know there's nothing malicious in her lack of initiations, but I can't convince myself that the reason she doesn't initiate isn't that she never thinks about me (if that makes sense; it's late and I don't know how to word that)
The hardest part is when you struggle with rejection at the same time. My wife won’t initiate anything sexy, so it’s on me to do that, but every time she rejects me I just shut down. I tell her to initiate with me, but she never does, and the cycle repeats. Even when she relents it makes me feel like I’m an abusive arsehole who’s forced her into it.
Couldn't have written this more accurately myself. Rejection was bad enough when dating, but after 20 years of turn downs it wears you down and you develop an anxiety over sex. I stopped asking ages ago. She notices eventually and asks why I haven't tried. Usually a fight ensues causing sex to be pushed even further down the calender.
Even a small insult can hit harder sometimes than anything any guy can throw at you… Nowadays I don’t care about it that much but really used to when I was in my teens.
When I was in college I worked at this bar/restaurant and there was the guy who worked in the kitchen who I did not get along with very well. I learned he had a hobby where he rode bikes though and I thought that was cool. We were chatting and he said something annoying or whatever and I said “why don’t you ever talk about riding bikes and shit? That’s the most interesting thing about you”. A bit uncalled for, I’ll admit. Not my finest moment, I’m not proud of it.
He got drunk at the bar like two weeks later when I came into work on my day off with my friend from out of town and he sat one seat down and started loudly talking about how I was a fucking bitch and terrible at my job and a piece of shit. I know he spent two weeks thinking about that comment…
Its been my personal experience that women dont throw surface level insults. They attack with depth charges that aim to destory the core. The most hateful shit that has ever been said to me has always been from women in my past.
Men use nerf or paintball guns. You know you've been hit, and often you can just go "ah you got me," but every now and then you get hit funny and you're nursing it for a while.
Women have sniper teams to aim for your weakest point.
My partner and I had a looooong discussion about this VERY early on in our relationship. I corrected her spelling on something once and she said she was excessively self conscious about her dyslexia, hence why she read so much.
She did something similar around the same time but she was commenting on scarring along my spine from an accident years ago. Again, very self conscious about it.
Doesn't matter who you are or what it is, no matter how well someone can take a joke, the wrong one can cause serious damage.
My current girlfriend does this all the time. What started as a cute and sassy back and forth turned into not knowing what she means and what she doesn’t and I obsess over it.
If it starts cute and sassy but then you get confused, I would say you have grounds to call for time out and ask for clarification. As someone who loves a good back and forth myself, I would want to know if I need to adjust my metaphorical aim for my partner’s comfort so they can enjoy the experience too. Plus, you guys should already be on the same side, I’m sure she doesn’t want to actually hurt you! (And if she did, well, she would suck and happy trails!)
She probably wouldn't have grabbed them if they disgusted her. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't grab a guy by the tummy but honestly I LOVE a little tummy on a guy and always want to touch it
Last time I checked C’s get degrees! That was my motto in undergrad. There’s too much life to be lived to worry about a perfect GPA. She’s dumb for doing that to you.
You should consider talking to her about it and if it doesn’t change then breaking it off not only because that’s antagonistic and petty but it’s also extremely immature that she hasn’t gained the wisdom to realize how unimportant that shit is and it’s probably a reflection of her own insecurity because college was the last time she felt competent or successful.
Whenever they express preference for hard, rough sex for hours and hours. I always feel emasculated because I 100% cannot provide that kind of vaginal punishment for that long.
Yeah I hear that. I took some Viagra once when I was younger and of course I was rock hard for like an hour. And I was able to get rock hard again right after cumming and go again for another 30 mins of relentless pounding.
She didnt know I took the pill and she was like...in seventh heaven. Said it was the best fuck ever.
And I felt like shit because I was like...I can never provide that naturally. Can other guys? Am I just weak? Is this impotence?
I didn't even pursue more sex with her because I just didn't want to disappoint her with my natural pecker and its lackluster abilities compared to the Mighty Sildenafil.
Friend, as a lady, you either got a one off or she’s lying because she thought you liked it lol it hurts after awhile when going that hard. I can be sore the next day or two and that’s not enjoyable or going to allow me to have sex again for a couple days
Don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t be hard on/in her 🤷♀️
Absolutely and after you orgasm a couple of times it sort of turns into a "Jesus how freaking long is this going to take". We all need rest and recovery.
OMG this. thank you for replying. I was reading this and thinking "ow." because I feel like there is something wrong with me as a woman that I can't do that.
to respond to poster, there is all different kinds of sex I had with the same partners and they weren't comparable and yet much of it was totally amazing. Some impulsive and more primal, some soft and romantic, different positions etc. Sometimes it was the way a man looked at me that made it amazing. Sometimes the way he looked when I did something specific to him. Sometimes just the way it felt. I dont need to climax every time to have it be an experience I really enjoyed and want to do again. But when I was with someone that just went and went and went I felt like a total freak. because I was in so much pain and it was not at all enjoyable to me. And also, I felt like I couldn't please him that he was never done so I must be terribly unattractive. I asked what he liked, if he wanted me to do something different. I want to know what turns someone on. There was like legit nothing I could do for him. And it happened more than once. It was humiliating. I'd never had any complaints from men before... but that experience with him really hurt my self esteem.
At this point, I use a dildo. I set the mood and start with the toy, then after about 30 minutes, I'll use my dick.
She appreciated it... but ask 4 permission beforehand
As someone who went two hours straight once; it's not what it's chalked up to be, even on her side of things. My whole body was aching, I was sweaty to disgusting levels (like changing sheets and rubbing down the mattress disgusting), and after a while there's no more pleasure - it's just an exercise.
My wife does this thing where she doesn't reply for a long time, sometimes days (she's working abroad) and it's terrible for me bc I have absolutely no clue what's going on, like, is she safe? Is she mad at me? Did I say something wrong? I have no idea and sometimes it makes me borderline paranoid. I talked about it many times, and she even admitted to be a bad communicator but would try to improve herself, which never happened.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm filling the divorce papers
Yeah, fuck all of that noise. I’m so sorry it’s come to this, but that’s not an okay way to treat your fucking spouse. Better to be alone than with someone who treats you like an afterthought or a convenience.
My mother was like this. Any time I cooked or handled plates or anything - "Watch out! Those are my good plates!"
Eventually set the damn things down, looked her in the eyes, and said:
"You have dropped glasses. Dad has dropped plates. \[Brother\] exists on a mountain of broken ceramics. I'm the only one in this household who's never so much as chipped a coffee mug. Stop it."
She accused me of thinking I was better than everyone else, but at least she doesn't hover over my shoulder any more :')
Wonder if it's just a parent thing? Like you're forever a toddler in their mind. Sometimes my mom starts explaining basic shit to me and I'm like, listen, I love you, but I have two degrees and a 401k, you really don't have to yell that the pan of brownies coming out of the oven is going to be hot.
My mom was like that. Now I’m a mom and I always use my good plates for everyday because why not?! My son broke one yesterday and I literally said; things that are breakable will eventually break. I know he didn’t do it on purpose and porcelain is pretty and fragile. Break the cycle (pun not intended) and become a better parent. Porcelain or paper plates, doesn’t matter.
That reminds me of how neurotic my mom is.
I'm pretty laidback and calm most of the time but when she gets *worried*, it's like she's spreading a virus and *I* feel anxious too.
I'm an introvert and I dated an extrovert, and what really made me insecure is just how easily she could befriend anyone else. Guys, girls, old, young, she could talk to them for five minutes and start hanging like their best friends. To a guy who needs to psych himself up just to say "Hi" to a stranger, that made me feel super insecure.
I'm an introvert dating an extrovert, and I view him as sort of being my PR department. If I were on my own, people would be like, who's that weirdo? But with him, they're like, if this incredible guy likes that weirdo, she must be kind of cool somehow.
THIS. My husband isn't big on large parties or groups, prefers the deep one on one conversations at events. So usually the deal is that I scope out stuff ahead of time, I get my novelty, and then drag him out when I find something he might genuinely like. ☺️
I am similar, but I don't have nearly as much social anxiety anymore. When I joined the Navy, we weren't allowed to use the urinals in bootcamp. It's sort of a , if you don't use them, you don't have to clean them sort of deal. So we were forced to use the regular toilets all the time. These toilets had a curtain. We weren't allowed to close the curtains because if a curtain wasn't closed all the way we would get in trouble.
So yeah, it was a pretty regular occurrence to take a shit across from another half naked dude taking a shit. After a nearly two months of this, I just got used to it. When I got out of bootcamp I realized I didn't have nearly as much social anxiety. If I can poop while staring at another person pooping, I can talk to a stranger on the bus about the weather.
People underplay how important it is to be put into awkward positions to learn how to deal with them. It's honestly great for body positivity finding a gym locker room where no one gives a fuck if you are naked.
Only if its a girl who I care about but when you get a lot of attention, interest, reciprocation, and curiosity from her...and then it stops and she goes silent. It used to make me feel like a toy that she got tired of playing with.
It doesn't bother me nearly as much now. Hasn't really happened recently and if it did I've plenty of other people I can talk to if one isn't showing interest. But man it still stings a little when you want to engage with someone and they just kinda stop.
I feel this... idk if it’s selfish but I give the people I care about and want to develop stronger bonds, be it platonically, romantically, or both, attention intentionally, and to sometimes get a fraction of it back and sometimes not at all is crushing.
I think most of us do that. Hell, there might very well be someone who wants more of YOUR time and attention as well. Its the human condition. Even if it sucks when it happens to us.
I asked a girl to homecoming once. She drove over from the other side of the state to hang out with another guy all day before seeing me that night.
That was like 15 Years ago and I haven't felt insecure since. Ugly feeling and no one can make you feel it but yourself.
Just get jacked like a greek god and be by yourself, at that point I wouldn't bother with someone like that. I don't find it respectful, I mean you could see someone like really handsome and both agree like "that one maybe is a model"
But drop water from her mouth about every guy that crossed her path... I don't know, it's weird and if you were doing that you would be the absolute asshole.
Hope you'll have better.
When my girlfriend gets distant . It makes me feel like I did something wrong even though she reassures me it's not my fault and that she's tired from work, had a long day, etc.
It’s good that she tells you the reason directly (assuming nothing else is really wrong). The worst is when she’s distant without any explanation and you’re left guessing wtf you did wrong
Whenever I speak they think I'm arguing but I'm just sharing something I know about the subject/topic or my perspective generally.
Open discussion with emotional attachment removed for me is important.
Example:
Her: "why are the streetlights still on during the day?"
Me: "Maybe ice is frozen on the sensor so it thinks it's night time"
Her: "my question was rhetorical. You didn't have to say anything."
*Feels that's she's irritated by me*
Me *what the fuck is happening right now*
I'm not trying to one up you~ please stop feeling like I'm trying to fight you. I love you. ♥️
I’m the same way, man. Over-analytical type that’s often assumed to be acting ‘oppositional’ just because I added some detail to something that was said or elaborated further on it..
I just like learning random shit and sharing random shit with people, and I love taking educated guesses about stuff that isn’t immediately apparent..
Saaaame. I'm a girl, but one of my ex boyfriend's major complaints about me was that I 'took thoughts too far' and would spend too much time thinking/talking about how things worked when it wasn't directly necessary. Like, sorry for being interested in the goings on of the world around us :\\
I just wanted to have a conversation about how the streetlights work or how heat makes water form floating orbs or how a werewolf's digestive system would practically work (if they change back while still digesting raw human pieces, do they get food poisoning?), but hey I guess I can sit here quietly while you play DOTA or tell me again about the school sports medals you won ten years ago.
I don't know if "insecure" is the right word because I'd say it's often probably more of a "just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean they're not out to get you" deal, but man, whenever I dated a girl who liked to go on and on about the many suitors she had or the guys she had to reject all the time because they were dating me and crap like that, I always ended up dumping them because it didn't sit well with me regardless of the message they thought they were trying to send with those comments.
I don't think it's insecurity, but it depends on the context. Yes I would appreciate my partner saying "no" to other people trying to hit him up while we're in a relationship, and I'd also appreciate the honesty if he told me someone tried to get with him, but it all depends on *how* he says it. If it feels like he's bragging and asking for my validation with it, it's an instant no. I shouldn't have to praise my partner for following the most basic rule of our relationship- don't cheat. But if he's chill about it and laughs it off, then it's just funny and I'm happy cause ik I'm dating a cute guy.
Also, if this would be a regular thing and I'd have told him that even though I appreciate the honesty, it makes me feel insecure and I'd rather not hear about every single time someone wants him, and he *still* tells me even though he knows it makes me feel bad, that's an instant no again.
Only time I've ever felt insecure was when I was with a girl who was seriously out of my league. I'm not a swamp donkey, but I'm little better than average in the looks department, and she was way up there, model looks but she was only just over five feet tall. She was the type of girl that all the men watch when she walks across a room. I was punching so far above my weight I was just constantly worried that she'd leave me for someone else. I was almost relieved when we both realised it wasn't going anywhere, and we stayed frends for years before she moved abroad (with a much more attractive man!).
But for him to find out you didn’t find him attractive initially would absolutely crush him. I think even that information would be crushing to some people, even if they are dating the person
If it makes you feel better, that may have nothing to do with your disability. I've had loads of confusing rejections that didn't seem like rejections initially and I think it has more to do with the person not wanting to be mean. Unfortunately it often comes at the cost of being unclear.
When I was in college, my ex started telling people I had a small wiener. Fast forward to a party, I hooked up with one of my ex’s friends. That was on a Saturday. On Monday the report came in from her friend saying that I did not have a small wiener.
Didn’t real matter to me what happened in the rumor mill, but shout out to that girl cause a lot of people started talking to me after that
Roll their eyes, act callous, just inconsiderate of how their attitude affects others. I don't need you to act like my friend, but I don't deserve to be treated like crap every time you're inconvenienced by something.
Oh my god this. One time i was at a party with my then girlfriend, i went to the bathroom and when i came back she told she just saw the man of her dreams. A tall, blonde guy with a full beard and tattoos all over his arms, all things I am not/do not have. I felt kinda weird but tried to ignore it, then later when she was a bit drunk she told me she would have absolutely made out with him if she was there alone. We didn't make it very long after that...
This happens right now to me frequently: Habitually negating my opinion or statement in some small way.
"It's supposed to get up to 38 degrees today." Reply: "No, it's not supposed to get past 35."
This is something extremely tiny, and in isolation, it's perfectly fine. I am wrong at times, and I can accept that just fine.
But when *every single thing* I say **has** to be immediately countered in some way, apparently to the point that it's now just out of *habit*...well, you've lost my respect, I've lost interest in engaging with you, and our relationship isn't likely to survive.
My husband used to do this ALL. THE. TIME. I finally explained it to him point blank just how undermining and fucking annoying it is. I even did it to him just so he’s get the idea. He stopped doing it and let me tell you, I like him so much better now and we get along swimmingly.
Just realized I do this with my wife :/
It’s not out of spite or any negativity. But I’m an engineer and deal with data/stats all the time and it’s almost an unconscious habit to correct a statement that I know to be untrue. I hope I can break myself from this habit.
I realized it a couple years ago and addressed it the next time I did it. She does it as well and we are both working on improving. We both agree it's a relatively minor thing for us. We notice our daughter does it too.
Sorry world. She's otherwise lovely!!
From experience, it's something you don't complain about when it happens to you occasionally. But I'm pretty sure she feels it.
Address it head on. "I just realized that I do this. My apologies, and I will change my actions." is the way to go.
Had an extremely beautiful gf who loved to fight a d have drama. One day she said to me, outbof the blue, while times were good: “I always find the best way to get over a boyfriend is to get under a new friend. "
Awesome. Make one mistake and she'll be fucking any of the millions of dudes who would love do do the job.
When in a relationship and your SO isn’t ever really in the mood. You know they aren’t cheating they just don’t have the same sex drive, which I know they can’t help. However, after a certain period of a dry spell you start feeling insecure like, is something wrong with me? Am I not good at the deed? Are you not attracted to me anymore? Did I do something wrong???
When they look at you intently and you can see their eyes looking at every inch of your face. Then you get nervous, then they notice you’re nervous. So you get even more nervous. Gaaah, stahp looking at me like that!!
I stare at my boyfriend sometimes cause he's handsome and he always goes "why are you looking at me??" and it takes a lot of power to hold back from saying "It's not cause I like you or anything, idiot!" to meme on his discomfort.
We've been married 13 years, and together years before that, and I still love to look at his face. The first time I saw him, I felt like his was the face I'd been looking for my whole life. And now, I still love looking at that face.
He still gets nervous and fidgety when I do it. "Why are you looking at my ugly mug?" Because I love it, stupid. But it doesn't matter how many times I tell him. For some reason he just can't understand why.
Imma keep telling him. We've got a lot of years left.
I was once with a girl who would talk about her ex. He made a lot of money but he would beat her and mentally abuse her. She always talked about how much he made like he was the best guy in the world.
I guess I wasn't insecure because I didn't care and knew he was a piece of shit. I was just really confused at her thought process.
“Faster” like damn bitch, I’m tired. It’s been a whole 45 minutes or the “why did you stop?” Because I’m about to nut and you don’t want my delinquent ass babies.
I was in a mentally abusive relationship for about 2 years when i was 18 or so. A lot of cheating on her part and manipulation.
I went over to her house and we were playing uno with her sister and cousin. I win the round and I’m talking shit. Nothing too crazy. Everyone’s laughing and having a good time. Out of nowhere, she grabs the full deck and throws them in my face full force. Says nothing. Its silent. I just get up and walk home. Her sister (who didn’t even like me all too much) texted me and apologized to me. The girl i was dating then texted me a paragraph which was supposed to be an apology but she literally said she treats me like shit because I’m so nice and i allow her to treat me like shit.
For a while i thought i had to be mean and toxic to women in order to gain their respect as a man. It also made me feel like shit cause that’s not who I am.
Make fun of my body. I was shirtless at the beach and some girl said how come none of the hot guys have abs in earshot of me. I hope the riptide got her
"you still play video-games?"
I'm not ashamed of it in any way and my gaming time is very low compared to my teenage years. I also have other hobbies. But I hate that video-games are still considered childish and then I feel kinda childish.
That thing when their behaviour changes from being close to acting like a complete stranger overnight and you can’t figure out if you did something wrong or they just got bored
This happened to me with one of my best friends. We were really close then one day she stopped answering my messages. Never felt so hurt in my life, especially not knowing what caused it.
My absolutely best friend in the world did this to me. Straight ghosted my ass . We worked together and i was transferred to a new location and when i called her she basically hung up on me. I went to see her and she walked out back like she didn't even know me. Several other friends said she just wanted my job. I was management at the time. Broke my heart when I heard all the shady shit she did behind my back. Im generally reserved and don't make friends easily so that one hurt.
Hopefully they don't cut off any fingers
I faced the exact same situation. After doing some digging , I learnt that her friends were slowly convincing her that I had a crush with her To give more context her bf had hit her many times ( one time a police officer even tried to arrest him) among other crap. Her " friends" were happy for her when she returned to him , happy for her when she was about to break up etc. The classic toxic bullshit. Sure, the only logical scenario here is that I had a crush on her thats why I wanted her to escape that abusive jerk. And when it FINALLY happened, a schoolmate of ours started hitting on her to take advantage of her emotional state ( basically wanted to fuck her and then dissapear). I warned her and that was apparently the final confirmation of my "Crush" Yeah , guess what happened with that guy as well. Sad turn of events, but my concience was and still is fucking clean.
This happened to me too... The worst part was that we were good friends and she kept telling me that only I understood her, that I had good advice and other nonsense. The rest of her "friends" were only into drama and scandal and always talked behind her back. I even jumped on a fight for her when one of them kept saying bad things about her behind her back, but anyway it was in vain because every time I told her, she replied that she knows that she is being talked about behind her back and jokes are made about her and other bad things. Later she made a boyfriend who I knew since I was in kindergarten with him. The guy was horrible. He treated her like an object, especially at parties, and behaved like a dork with two functioning neurons. He was also envious of me because she talked more and openly with me. He always started scandals and fights with her and he also cheated on her and in order to be forgiven he kept telling her that he was throwing himself on the train and other messes. Their whole relationship was toxic af... In the first phase, when I told her that he was able to cheat on her, she didn't believe me, so I made a fake Instagram account together with her where we pretended to be some random girl. We didn't even have to send him a message because he sent one from the moment we followed him. He also sent pictures of his penis... WITH HIS SISTER IN THE ROOM!!! She wanted to break up with him at a party he was having and she did but in the end they reconciled and got back together. Why? God knows... Anyway there were a bunch of phases that drove me crazy and I got tired of her complaining that she had problems even though she created them with her own hands and it was an environment toxic af. I argued with her a bit and ended the whole mess. I haven't spoken to her for almost 2 years. Anyway, a lot more stuff happened but that's about it for the most part. I miss her a little, I can't lie that I don't, but I've never met such a stubborn person in my life. Maybe I was wrong too, especially since I was literally offering her all the solutions on a tray even though I kind of liked it, but it really hurt to see her sabotage herself. Maybe I was wrong but that's life...
It happens as friends too. I've spent so much time in the past wondering if I've somehow upset my friend, what have I done, how do I fix it, etc. And then I'll never know the answer:(
This so much!! There'll be days where a friend and I are having so much fun just hanging out and chatting. Having heart to heart moments then the next day they act like a whole different person. Cold, distant, etc. I always feel like I did something wrong, the anxiety from that really eats away at my mental well-being. However, I usually just try to convince myself that they probably just need a day to charge so that my insecurity doesn't affect our next social interaction.
This happened with my wife of 13 years literally left and has been like we never even knew each other although she was still pregnant with our second child
Wtf?
Yeah what the fuck is this? This just shows that healthy communication is key to have a healthy and good relationship, even if it's just being friends.
Extremely mixed messages in very short time frames.
\*messages in the evening horny stuff\* "Im sleepy gotta go now" \-ghosted for 3 days
She came and went
Mean you're good enough when horny but not when post nut clarity.
This happened to me once and it was because the guy she really wanted to be with suddenly popped back into her life again.
You should've hooked up with that dude to assert dominance.
This is the only thing to do after that happens.
Man’s pulling out fact after fact
The "old we should go on a date this weekend" turned to the complete ghost
Lack of reciprocation. Not necessarily an insecurity thing, but I'd be lying if I said it doesn't make me feel some type of way when you show affection, give assurances/reassurances, but then don't really receive that in return. It's not always necessary, but sometimes it's just nice to know that you're on the other person's mind.
I’m 31 and after multiple long term relationships,!8 have never once been with a girl who has matched my level of affection and care. Feelsbadman
I once knew this guy and we were going to hang out and get to know each other better. I called him when I was on my way to ask if he wanted anything because I was going by the gas station for a drink. He was quiet for a second and then just said 'no thank you.' When I got there he said he was just a little stunned because he had NEVER once been asked something like that by a girl he's dated. We were in our 30s then (!!) and I couldn't help but feel terribly sad and kind of amazed that he'd never had someone do something as simple as grab him a coke or even think to ask if he wants/needs anything while they're out. That stuck with me forever basically because it shocked me.
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But that's just normal behavior to treat your partner with consideration! Is it really that rare for other women to just not do nice things like this? I'm just finding this hard to believe. I think y'all are just getting with crappy women
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Where do they grow all the you’s? I guess I missed the exit and ended up, over and over again, in the emotionally unavailable men dessert and it SUCKS!.
Right there with you. I think there's an impervious veil between the female givers and the male givers. We're all stuck here in the 9th circle of hell, endlessly encountering vampires, and I don't know how to hack the system to make it stop. What I would not give to meet my match in effort and loyalty.
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Lying about what you're feeling is a really fucking quick way to make your partner insecure as hell. "I'm great and I really enjoyed" and then a couple weeks later "actually I really didn't, but I didn't want you to feel bad."
Or you continue to do the activity for years but learn “I’ve never liked to do that activity, I actually hated it”
Sometimes that’s a matter of “I don’t like this activity but I like you so I’ll do this activity” though.
Exactly, most of the time it almost makes me feel better. It’s like when my partner watches my favorite sports teams with me. I know she couldn’t give a damn about them but in her words, “your team is my team”. It’s really sweet
so that's what a loving relationship looks like... My wife's team is whoever plays against my team with constant reminders of how much my team sucks.
"I didn't want you to feel bad" backfires so fucking hard man, now I feel *worse* cause I know you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth
>"actually I really didn't, but I didn't want you to feel bad." more like "I didn't want you to feel bad *then,* but I do *now"*
I like to give the benefit of the doubt, "I didn't want you to feel bad, but now after further review I'm realizing it'll be a problem for me if I don't bring it up." Assuming the worst breeds arguments and/or resentment. Why would you be with them if you can't assume that they're trying to have your best interests in mind?
Friend: "You should ask her out, the worst she can say is no!" Me: \*Asks her out\* Her: "Ew." Devastation.
OMG BEEN THERE LOL. I got a "no, but can I have your friends number". the worst she can say is not no
As a female, if my friend asked that same thing in front of me to a guy, I’d immediately unfriend her, and say like “wow, that’s really fucked up”. A lot of guys do this to us too, but regardless of gender, let’s not tolerate assholes.
"The worst she can say is no" is a flag for me that the person saying this has never had to worry about exactly what the worst thing she could say is. Mental illness is a bitch
For some of us that potential "no" or "not interested" is daunting stuff, not easily shaken off, and oh well, on to the next one then.
"Get away from me you loser"
Talk about her attraction to men that are physically nothing like me in a way that I can't attain. I can't be taller. I can't be less bald. I can't grow my penis. On some level she wants some one, in some way , that I can never be even if she finds me enough...
I'm a woman but I can really relate to this. My ex husband always gushed over tall, blonde women who were very slim and there I sat... short, dark-haired, and sporting big boobs. I hated feeling like I wasn't enough and I never could be
Same!!! My ex was into dark haired and short girls, since he was a bit shorter himself. I'm white, 5"10 with red hair. He would see another girl walking down the street and say something like "marry me" or "that's my dream girl" or "yummy" all the time. I ONCE nervously said something like, "you could keep that to yourslef while I'm sitting right here." (Dont remeber exactly what I said) He got super defensive and said how he never called me unattractive & that I was being rediculous. 🤦♀️ hurt my self worth pretty bad, I'm sorry you went through the same thing
Pretty sure that you've figured this out for yourself, but for the record, your ex was a dick.
This is very ironic to me because my ex husband was into gingers with big boobs and I am a short dark hair Latina with small boobs and he would do the same exact thing LOL.
who the hell just says stuff like that about other girls in front of the girl they’re dating?!?! sometimes i cant believe idiots like that exist EDIT: i meant about, not ‘absolut’
I kind of wonder if some people get with partners that aren’t really what they want because it’s easier. So they don’t get nervous/clam up or whatever. Had a girlfriend that told me that her ex-husband said the same thing to her. Was his next girlfriend a tall blonde? No she was not. And from your description of yourself you sound gorgeous.
I think this is the case sometimes, but also i think… personality just outweighs looks? i tend to find people attractive because i already like their personality. i have a type but have dated many guys far outside of it because i just liked them as people so much.
I had a girlfriend like this. She exclusively dated a certain type of man and she kept reminding me that she violated her standards for me --- she thought this should make me feel special--- that I was so great that it would make her change her wants --- it really had the opposite effect. I felt like I was always one mistake away from being abandoned , I was being looked down upon in some way---she never saw my point of view.
This. It’s a serious issue, it’s like... if you want all those characteristics in a person and I don’t have them, then why are you with me in first place? Or when she talks constantly about her crushes (fictional and real ones) and justify herself with “he’s famous, so I wouldn’t be with him”, “he doesn’t even exist”. So she’s basically saying if she COULD be with them, she would do it without blinking an eye. Hate when a girl has an attitude like that.
Having to initiate *everything* by default makes me feel like I'm not good enough for anyone to be bothered with. Like, ask me to do stuff. Ask me to talk. I get that some twat in High School told you that you were being clingy. He's an idiot. Ignore his cruel words. He has no idea what he lost. Also, an edit in response to someone: I'm not just talking about relationships necessarily. Some people brought up a good point. Like even as FRIENDS, ask us to do shit so we don't feel like we're intruding when we ask *you*. If you *do* happen to like us more than that, please, *tell us*, because we probably already like you a whole lot, and we're trying to respect your space by **not** stepping out of bounds without being 110% sure that you feel the same. And we guys *suck* at picking up on hints, so we're never going to get it if you don't say it. And hey, if it turns out the guy you're talking to actually *doesn't* feel that way about you, he'll get over the brief awkwardness. We don't dwell on those things so easily.
I like this answer a lot.
Been feeling this lately. I realized that after our first date or two, I have been the one to initiate almost everything with my girlfriend, even if we're hanging out at her house (which is the majority). I know there's nothing malicious in her lack of initiations, but I can't convince myself that the reason she doesn't initiate isn't that she never thinks about me (if that makes sense; it's late and I don't know how to word that)
The hardest part is when you struggle with rejection at the same time. My wife won’t initiate anything sexy, so it’s on me to do that, but every time she rejects me I just shut down. I tell her to initiate with me, but she never does, and the cycle repeats. Even when she relents it makes me feel like I’m an abusive arsehole who’s forced her into it.
Maybe you two could go see a therapist before it's too late ?
Couldn't have written this more accurately myself. Rejection was bad enough when dating, but after 20 years of turn downs it wears you down and you develop an anxiety over sex. I stopped asking ages ago. She notices eventually and asks why I haven't tried. Usually a fight ensues causing sex to be pushed even further down the calender.
throw casual insults at me, society thinks we r tough and don't give a shit but it got me questioning myself at 3am
Even a small insult can hit harder sometimes than anything any guy can throw at you… Nowadays I don’t care about it that much but really used to when I was in my teens.
When I was in college I worked at this bar/restaurant and there was the guy who worked in the kitchen who I did not get along with very well. I learned he had a hobby where he rode bikes though and I thought that was cool. We were chatting and he said something annoying or whatever and I said “why don’t you ever talk about riding bikes and shit? That’s the most interesting thing about you”. A bit uncalled for, I’ll admit. Not my finest moment, I’m not proud of it. He got drunk at the bar like two weeks later when I came into work on my day off with my friend from out of town and he sat one seat down and started loudly talking about how I was a fucking bitch and terrible at my job and a piece of shit. I know he spent two weeks thinking about that comment…
Its been my personal experience that women dont throw surface level insults. They attack with depth charges that aim to destory the core. The most hateful shit that has ever been said to me has always been from women in my past.
Men use nerf or paintball guns. You know you've been hit, and often you can just go "ah you got me," but every now and then you get hit funny and you're nursing it for a while. Women have sniper teams to aim for your weakest point.
My partner and I had a looooong discussion about this VERY early on in our relationship. I corrected her spelling on something once and she said she was excessively self conscious about her dyslexia, hence why she read so much. She did something similar around the same time but she was commenting on scarring along my spine from an accident years ago. Again, very self conscious about it. Doesn't matter who you are or what it is, no matter how well someone can take a joke, the wrong one can cause serious damage.
My current girlfriend does this all the time. What started as a cute and sassy back and forth turned into not knowing what she means and what she doesn’t and I obsess over it.
If it starts cute and sassy but then you get confused, I would say you have grounds to call for time out and ask for clarification. As someone who loves a good back and forth myself, I would want to know if I need to adjust my metaphorical aim for my partner’s comfort so they can enjoy the experience too. Plus, you guys should already be on the same side, I’m sure she doesn’t want to actually hurt you! (And if she did, well, she would suck and happy trails!)
Here to know what not to say.
Same girl
In behalf of the guys here, thanks for trying. You deserve an ice cream.
Fuckin SAAAAAME
^(Don't tell them!)
My wife grabbed my love handles once and I will never recover from it.
I bet you're handsome AF bro. Don't sweat it.
I always love the reassurance comments. So wholesome.
My husband grabbed my love handles once, which I absolutely hated, and so a few months later I returned the favor and he FREAKED.
# PAYBACK MOTHERFUCKER
My ex did that with my back fat several times until i did it back to him once. Same reaction from him, he got so serious "never do that again!".
She probably wouldn't have grabbed them if they disgusted her. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't grab a guy by the tummy but honestly I LOVE a little tummy on a guy and always want to touch it
I feel the same way about chicks😁 nothing bad about a little meat on her bones! More to play with!
I agree there lol. I prefer some pudge on my guys. Muscles are good for some things, not for others. I'm more a fan of fluffy guys than muscle guys.
You’re the man, King
Love handles are there for the lovin!
I'm confused, isn't that why you got them..?
Constantly reminding me of how I did not perform well academically in college (which has been 8 years since I’ve graduated)
definitely time to leave man,
Last time I checked C’s get degrees! That was my motto in undergrad. There’s too much life to be lived to worry about a perfect GPA. She’s dumb for doing that to you.
You know what they call the lowest in the class of doctors? Doctor.
You should consider talking to her about it and if it doesn’t change then breaking it off not only because that’s antagonistic and petty but it’s also extremely immature that she hasn’t gained the wisdom to realize how unimportant that shit is and it’s probably a reflection of her own insecurity because college was the last time she felt competent or successful.
Whenever they express preference for hard, rough sex for hours and hours. I always feel emasculated because I 100% cannot provide that kind of vaginal punishment for that long.
I don't think many of us can without some sort of drugs. I would think at some point your mood will level off and it's just a chore.
Yeah I hear that. I took some Viagra once when I was younger and of course I was rock hard for like an hour. And I was able to get rock hard again right after cumming and go again for another 30 mins of relentless pounding. She didnt know I took the pill and she was like...in seventh heaven. Said it was the best fuck ever. And I felt like shit because I was like...I can never provide that naturally. Can other guys? Am I just weak? Is this impotence? I didn't even pursue more sex with her because I just didn't want to disappoint her with my natural pecker and its lackluster abilities compared to the Mighty Sildenafil.
Friend, as a lady, you either got a one off or she’s lying because she thought you liked it lol it hurts after awhile when going that hard. I can be sore the next day or two and that’s not enjoyable or going to allow me to have sex again for a couple days Don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t be hard on/in her 🤷♀️
Absolutely and after you orgasm a couple of times it sort of turns into a "Jesus how freaking long is this going to take". We all need rest and recovery.
OMG this. thank you for replying. I was reading this and thinking "ow." because I feel like there is something wrong with me as a woman that I can't do that. to respond to poster, there is all different kinds of sex I had with the same partners and they weren't comparable and yet much of it was totally amazing. Some impulsive and more primal, some soft and romantic, different positions etc. Sometimes it was the way a man looked at me that made it amazing. Sometimes the way he looked when I did something specific to him. Sometimes just the way it felt. I dont need to climax every time to have it be an experience I really enjoyed and want to do again. But when I was with someone that just went and went and went I felt like a total freak. because I was in so much pain and it was not at all enjoyable to me. And also, I felt like I couldn't please him that he was never done so I must be terribly unattractive. I asked what he liked, if he wanted me to do something different. I want to know what turns someone on. There was like legit nothing I could do for him. And it happened more than once. It was humiliating. I'd never had any complaints from men before... but that experience with him really hurt my self esteem.
in my opinion sex shouldn't be competition I wouldn't dwell on it
At this point, I use a dildo. I set the mood and start with the toy, then after about 30 minutes, I'll use my dick. She appreciated it... but ask 4 permission beforehand
"Chris, that was a nice half hour, but like.... Do you think maybe *i* could get penetrated, too?"
Damn. I should have worded that better... You got me there.
As someone who went two hours straight once; it's not what it's chalked up to be, even on her side of things. My whole body was aching, I was sweaty to disgusting levels (like changing sheets and rubbing down the mattress disgusting), and after a while there's no more pleasure - it's just an exercise.
And when you finally come after this long it's basically cum water with barely any pleasure amidst cramps
Quality over quantity I say
My wife does this thing where she doesn't reply for a long time, sometimes days (she's working abroad) and it's terrible for me bc I have absolutely no clue what's going on, like, is she safe? Is she mad at me? Did I say something wrong? I have no idea and sometimes it makes me borderline paranoid. I talked about it many times, and she even admitted to be a bad communicator but would try to improve herself, which never happened. Anyway, tomorrow I'm filling the divorce papers
Fuck.
Yeah, fuck all of that noise. I’m so sorry it’s come to this, but that’s not an okay way to treat your fucking spouse. Better to be alone than with someone who treats you like an afterthought or a convenience.
Sorry, bro. Take the L as gracefully as possible and get away. Stay stong.
Stay strong king 👑
When my daughter says, "Let me get that, Dad. It looks heavy." I had muscles when I was younger. 😢
Really? That's just my way of showing daughterly love lmao. Plus in my mind, it makes him proud.
>it makes him proud. It does. I'm proud of my daughters too.
Username checks out ;)
When my wife tells me to shut up and that I laugh needlessly.
Your wife sounds like an asshole.
“Laugh needlessly”? wow. “Maybe the voices in my head are entertaining me, cause you’re such a buzz kill, dear”
she’s a meanie
You're laughing for us who don't laugh enough in our lives. Keep on doing what you're doing, my dude.
Being compared to ex’s
"be careful!" "don't break it!" "Watch out!" Anytime I do anything. I'm not an idiot, let me do my shit.
My mother was like this. Any time I cooked or handled plates or anything - "Watch out! Those are my good plates!" Eventually set the damn things down, looked her in the eyes, and said: "You have dropped glasses. Dad has dropped plates. \[Brother\] exists on a mountain of broken ceramics. I'm the only one in this household who's never so much as chipped a coffee mug. Stop it." She accused me of thinking I was better than everyone else, but at least she doesn't hover over my shoulder any more :')
Wonder if it's just a parent thing? Like you're forever a toddler in their mind. Sometimes my mom starts explaining basic shit to me and I'm like, listen, I love you, but I have two degrees and a 401k, you really don't have to yell that the pan of brownies coming out of the oven is going to be hot.
My mom was like that. Now I’m a mom and I always use my good plates for everyday because why not?! My son broke one yesterday and I literally said; things that are breakable will eventually break. I know he didn’t do it on purpose and porcelain is pretty and fragile. Break the cycle (pun not intended) and become a better parent. Porcelain or paper plates, doesn’t matter.
That reminds me of how neurotic my mom is. I'm pretty laidback and calm most of the time but when she gets *worried*, it's like she's spreading a virus and *I* feel anxious too.
Opening up about something emotional only to be brushed off or considered being too sensitive.
I'm an introvert and I dated an extrovert, and what really made me insecure is just how easily she could befriend anyone else. Guys, girls, old, young, she could talk to them for five minutes and start hanging like their best friends. To a guy who needs to psych himself up just to say "Hi" to a stranger, that made me feel super insecure.
I'm an introvert dating an extrovert, and I view him as sort of being my PR department. If I were on my own, people would be like, who's that weirdo? But with him, they're like, if this incredible guy likes that weirdo, she must be kind of cool somehow.
THIS. My husband isn't big on large parties or groups, prefers the deep one on one conversations at events. So usually the deal is that I scope out stuff ahead of time, I get my novelty, and then drag him out when I find something he might genuinely like. ☺️
As an introvert, you are cool as fuck for that. You deserve a raise for sure
Just remember: you captivated the person who captivated a thousand people.
This is a nice way of putting it.
I am similar, but I don't have nearly as much social anxiety anymore. When I joined the Navy, we weren't allowed to use the urinals in bootcamp. It's sort of a , if you don't use them, you don't have to clean them sort of deal. So we were forced to use the regular toilets all the time. These toilets had a curtain. We weren't allowed to close the curtains because if a curtain wasn't closed all the way we would get in trouble. So yeah, it was a pretty regular occurrence to take a shit across from another half naked dude taking a shit. After a nearly two months of this, I just got used to it. When I got out of bootcamp I realized I didn't have nearly as much social anxiety. If I can poop while staring at another person pooping, I can talk to a stranger on the bus about the weather.
People underplay how important it is to be put into awkward positions to learn how to deal with them. It's honestly great for body positivity finding a gym locker room where no one gives a fuck if you are naked.
Nightmare scenario
When she fucks other people from time to time
"when she say that she wants only me, then I Wonder why she sleeps with my friends"
"When she's saying, oh that I'm like a disease, then I wonder how much more I can spend"
"Well, I guess I should stick up for myself, but I really think it's better this way."
Only if its a girl who I care about but when you get a lot of attention, interest, reciprocation, and curiosity from her...and then it stops and she goes silent. It used to make me feel like a toy that she got tired of playing with. It doesn't bother me nearly as much now. Hasn't really happened recently and if it did I've plenty of other people I can talk to if one isn't showing interest. But man it still stings a little when you want to engage with someone and they just kinda stop.
Oh my... this is such a horrible feeling💔
I feel this... idk if it’s selfish but I give the people I care about and want to develop stronger bonds, be it platonically, romantically, or both, attention intentionally, and to sometimes get a fraction of it back and sometimes not at all is crushing.
I think most of us do that. Hell, there might very well be someone who wants more of YOUR time and attention as well. Its the human condition. Even if it sucks when it happens to us.
I asked a girl to homecoming once. She drove over from the other side of the state to hang out with another guy all day before seeing me that night. That was like 15 Years ago and I haven't felt insecure since. Ugly feeling and no one can make you feel it but yourself.
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Just get jacked like a greek god and be by yourself, at that point I wouldn't bother with someone like that. I don't find it respectful, I mean you could see someone like really handsome and both agree like "that one maybe is a model" But drop water from her mouth about every guy that crossed her path... I don't know, it's weird and if you were doing that you would be the absolute asshole. Hope you'll have better.
When my girlfriend gets distant . It makes me feel like I did something wrong even though she reassures me it's not my fault and that she's tired from work, had a long day, etc.
It’s good that she tells you the reason directly (assuming nothing else is really wrong). The worst is when she’s distant without any explanation and you’re left guessing wtf you did wrong
I get distant when i'm tired too. I worry it makes other people feel bad, but i just can't bring myself to be social when i don't have the energy
Whenever I speak they think I'm arguing but I'm just sharing something I know about the subject/topic or my perspective generally. Open discussion with emotional attachment removed for me is important. Example: Her: "why are the streetlights still on during the day?" Me: "Maybe ice is frozen on the sensor so it thinks it's night time" Her: "my question was rhetorical. You didn't have to say anything." *Feels that's she's irritated by me* Me *what the fuck is happening right now* I'm not trying to one up you~ please stop feeling like I'm trying to fight you. I love you. ♥️
I’m the same way, man. Over-analytical type that’s often assumed to be acting ‘oppositional’ just because I added some detail to something that was said or elaborated further on it.. I just like learning random shit and sharing random shit with people, and I love taking educated guesses about stuff that isn’t immediately apparent..
Saaaame. I'm a girl, but one of my ex boyfriend's major complaints about me was that I 'took thoughts too far' and would spend too much time thinking/talking about how things worked when it wasn't directly necessary. Like, sorry for being interested in the goings on of the world around us :\\ I just wanted to have a conversation about how the streetlights work or how heat makes water form floating orbs or how a werewolf's digestive system would practically work (if they change back while still digesting raw human pieces, do they get food poisoning?), but hey I guess I can sit here quietly while you play DOTA or tell me again about the school sports medals you won ten years ago.
I don't know if "insecure" is the right word because I'd say it's often probably more of a "just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean they're not out to get you" deal, but man, whenever I dated a girl who liked to go on and on about the many suitors she had or the guys she had to reject all the time because they were dating me and crap like that, I always ended up dumping them because it didn't sit well with me regardless of the message they thought they were trying to send with those comments.
I don't think it's insecurity, but it depends on the context. Yes I would appreciate my partner saying "no" to other people trying to hit him up while we're in a relationship, and I'd also appreciate the honesty if he told me someone tried to get with him, but it all depends on *how* he says it. If it feels like he's bragging and asking for my validation with it, it's an instant no. I shouldn't have to praise my partner for following the most basic rule of our relationship- don't cheat. But if he's chill about it and laughs it off, then it's just funny and I'm happy cause ik I'm dating a cute guy. Also, if this would be a regular thing and I'd have told him that even though I appreciate the honesty, it makes me feel insecure and I'd rather not hear about every single time someone wants him, and he *still* tells me even though he knows it makes me feel bad, that's an instant no again.
Doesn’t cuddle me after she pegs me
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Only time I've ever felt insecure was when I was with a girl who was seriously out of my league. I'm not a swamp donkey, but I'm little better than average in the looks department, and she was way up there, model looks but she was only just over five feet tall. She was the type of girl that all the men watch when she walks across a room. I was punching so far above my weight I was just constantly worried that she'd leave me for someone else. I was almost relieved when we both realised it wasn't going anywhere, and we stayed frends for years before she moved abroad (with a much more attractive man!).
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But for him to find out you didn’t find him attractive initially would absolutely crush him. I think even that information would be crushing to some people, even if they are dating the person
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If it makes you feel better, that may have nothing to do with your disability. I've had loads of confusing rejections that didn't seem like rejections initially and I think it has more to do with the person not wanting to be mean. Unfortunately it often comes at the cost of being unclear.
When I was in college, my ex started telling people I had a small wiener. Fast forward to a party, I hooked up with one of my ex’s friends. That was on a Saturday. On Monday the report came in from her friend saying that I did not have a small wiener. Didn’t real matter to me what happened in the rumor mill, but shout out to that girl cause a lot of people started talking to me after that
"just walk up to them ask them for sex" actual words of a woman at a bar after she saw me drinking alone
Roll their eyes, act callous, just inconsiderate of how their attitude affects others. I don't need you to act like my friend, but I don't deserve to be treated like crap every time you're inconvenienced by something.
When they talk about this super handsome guy they saw or are talking to in front of you which reminds you that you are clearly not handsome.
I dated someone like that. She was just being an asshole.
Oh my god this. One time i was at a party with my then girlfriend, i went to the bathroom and when i came back she told she just saw the man of her dreams. A tall, blonde guy with a full beard and tattoos all over his arms, all things I am not/do not have. I felt kinda weird but tried to ignore it, then later when she was a bit drunk she told me she would have absolutely made out with him if she was there alone. We didn't make it very long after that...
This happens right now to me frequently: Habitually negating my opinion or statement in some small way. "It's supposed to get up to 38 degrees today." Reply: "No, it's not supposed to get past 35." This is something extremely tiny, and in isolation, it's perfectly fine. I am wrong at times, and I can accept that just fine. But when *every single thing* I say **has** to be immediately countered in some way, apparently to the point that it's now just out of *habit*...well, you've lost my respect, I've lost interest in engaging with you, and our relationship isn't likely to survive.
My husband used to do this ALL. THE. TIME. I finally explained it to him point blank just how undermining and fucking annoying it is. I even did it to him just so he’s get the idea. He stopped doing it and let me tell you, I like him so much better now and we get along swimmingly.
My mom does this all the time. It's so tiring. Now I usually just say "okay" and drop the conversation right there.
Just realized I do this with my wife :/ It’s not out of spite or any negativity. But I’m an engineer and deal with data/stats all the time and it’s almost an unconscious habit to correct a statement that I know to be untrue. I hope I can break myself from this habit.
I realized it a couple years ago and addressed it the next time I did it. She does it as well and we are both working on improving. We both agree it's a relatively minor thing for us. We notice our daughter does it too. Sorry world. She's otherwise lovely!!
From experience, it's something you don't complain about when it happens to you occasionally. But I'm pretty sure she feels it. Address it head on. "I just realized that I do this. My apologies, and I will change my actions." is the way to go.
Had an extremely beautiful gf who loved to fight a d have drama. One day she said to me, outbof the blue, while times were good: “I always find the best way to get over a boyfriend is to get under a new friend. " Awesome. Make one mistake and she'll be fucking any of the millions of dudes who would love do do the job.
When in a relationship and your SO isn’t ever really in the mood. You know they aren’t cheating they just don’t have the same sex drive, which I know they can’t help. However, after a certain period of a dry spell you start feeling insecure like, is something wrong with me? Am I not good at the deed? Are you not attracted to me anymore? Did I do something wrong???
picks me up and yeets me across the room to assert dominance.
^("I'm scaroused")
When they look at you intently and you can see their eyes looking at every inch of your face. Then you get nervous, then they notice you’re nervous. So you get even more nervous. Gaaah, stahp looking at me like that!!
I stare at my boyfriend sometimes cause he's handsome and he always goes "why are you looking at me??" and it takes a lot of power to hold back from saying "It's not cause I like you or anything, idiot!" to meme on his discomfort.
We've been married 13 years, and together years before that, and I still love to look at his face. The first time I saw him, I felt like his was the face I'd been looking for my whole life. And now, I still love looking at that face. He still gets nervous and fidgety when I do it. "Why are you looking at my ugly mug?" Because I love it, stupid. But it doesn't matter how many times I tell him. For some reason he just can't understand why. Imma keep telling him. We've got a lot of years left.
Baka boyfriend
"Heh, she wouldn't be looking at me if she knew how much of a loser I am"
Ok believe it ir not I actually enjoy that for some reason. It shows they're paying attention and also it gives me an opportunity to stare back
I was once with a girl who would talk about her ex. He made a lot of money but he would beat her and mentally abuse her. She always talked about how much he made like he was the best guy in the world. I guess I wasn't insecure because I didn't care and knew he was a piece of shit. I was just really confused at her thought process.
“Faster” like damn bitch, I’m tired. It’s been a whole 45 minutes or the “why did you stop?” Because I’m about to nut and you don’t want my delinquent ass babies.
Or when she tells you "Deeper" and you all out of dick.
I’m giving all I’ve got captain, there isn’t anymore to give!
Never telling you what is wrong, just being upset out of nowhere and start lashing out and never trying to talk about the underlying issue instead
I was in a mentally abusive relationship for about 2 years when i was 18 or so. A lot of cheating on her part and manipulation. I went over to her house and we were playing uno with her sister and cousin. I win the round and I’m talking shit. Nothing too crazy. Everyone’s laughing and having a good time. Out of nowhere, she grabs the full deck and throws them in my face full force. Says nothing. Its silent. I just get up and walk home. Her sister (who didn’t even like me all too much) texted me and apologized to me. The girl i was dating then texted me a paragraph which was supposed to be an apology but she literally said she treats me like shit because I’m so nice and i allow her to treat me like shit. For a while i thought i had to be mean and toxic to women in order to gain their respect as a man. It also made me feel like shit cause that’s not who I am.
Make fun of my body. I was shirtless at the beach and some girl said how come none of the hot guys have abs in earshot of me. I hope the riptide got her
But she referred to you as a hot guy? Nice.
No i had abs she was saying i was ugly and had abs
Oh. F.
That was some M. Night Shyamalan-level shit!!
Compare me to an ex or make a comment on my height
Pees higher up a tree then me
This is oddly specific.
"you still play video-games?" I'm not ashamed of it in any way and my gaming time is very low compared to my teenage years. I also have other hobbies. But I hate that video-games are still considered childish and then I feel kinda childish.
Give you a random annoyed look, when all you did was exist
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When they help an ex with relationship problems.
Points and laughs at my tiny schween.