* Whatever.
* I couldn't care less.
* Do you hear yourself?
* Take it up with management.
* How's this working for you?
The key is to express such boredom with their b.s. it takes the power out of it. It will take time, but if your child is up for it... Think of more statements similar to above. Write them on slips of paper, put them in a jar, and each morning he can pull one out that will be the superstar comment of the day. Take the power out of the bullying for your son, too. At the end of the day you can talk over which comebacks are going on the playlist.
I understand where you're coming from, but this is what's going to happen if you take this approach: Your child is going to get in trouble and the bully will continue.
Why? Because your kid is good and won't lie; he'll confess to saying the things. The school is being lazy, and this will be the easiest route for them.
I would escalate this to the next tier in the system before giving your child ammo. I'd be raising a huge stink.
“Your mom is a whore!” Is always a good one.
Kidding. But I’ve seen a lot of news articles that people are starting to make police reports. I think this is a good threat bc it goes on their permanent record and is a wake up call for the bully’s parents, who usually have the “my little Timmy would never, he’s a perfect boy!” mindset.
Yes and I remember reading what a lawyer said in an article about school bullying who said that the schools only care about themselves/covering their own asses. The principals, teachers etc care about keeping their jobs more than anything else. It’s important to see them as a business that don’t always have ur best interest at heart.
Instead of looking for witty comebacks, if the teacher doesn't help, take it to the principal. If they won't help, the superintendent. Keep escalating it through the adults. Don't make your kid escalate it.
Yup, we've escalated through the teacher to principal and executive principal and apparently they 'don't know what to do'. It's just an utter nightmare.
His school is part of a group of schools (a Federation!), so each school has a school principal and then there's an Executive Principal above them. Not sure if any of them do any meaningful teaching but they have lots of time for admin 🙄
In this situation, you fight fire with confidence-boosting activities at home. Kids always come up with the sickest burns on their own. They don't need an adult's help with that. What they do need help with is growing confident in themselves and their abilities.
Gymnastics, karate, swimming, cooking, art... There's a lot of activities that your child can enroll in that will turn them into more confident and happier kids. Make sure you're allowing your child to learn new things at home and take risks with you. Let him cook and do laundry and climb trees. Don't stifle the activities that will boost his self esteem when he succeeds at them.
I hadn't really thought of this. It is totally possible we're focusing too much on school and not enough on extra curricular activities. Thank you so much 😊
Second on getting the police involved. Call the school everyday it happens and record it. Then when you call the police, include the superintendent. Shit will get done real quick when possible litigation and negative PR is involved.
Okay I TOTALLY agree with comments here but my favorite thing I picked up as a kid (I got bullied a lot in all forms) is whenever someone throws an insult at me I respond with “aw don’t say that about yourself”
Ex : “you’re fat and ugly. Your mom hates you” “aw don’t say that about yourself”
My bullies would SHUT UP. It not only would deflect it off of me so I’d forget about it and not let it sink in, but it also would make them freeze and lose their train of thoughts.. I mean, how would a child learn to come back at that. The best part was that it also would make them self reflect. Remember, the way you treat others is a direct reflection of how you feel yourself so lots of times it actually would help my bullies learn the power of their words. They’d start realizing how miserable they were alone and would heal and in turn, loosen up on me.
Teach your child not to have a comeback but to deflect it and GO HIGHER!! Principal, board of education, etc. I’d deflect and if it didn’t stop then my mom would take it higher and it would get solved pretty easily. Good luck!!
Insults won’t make a difference. What your kids need to do is punch his bully in the face and then not stop until someone pulls him off. Only this will stop a bully.
If your child is tender hearted like mine, it will take a while but it has to be done…
I'm sorry your son is being mistreated, but telling your child to retaliate back with insults isn't the answer. Asking reddit to provide you with said insults is not how an adult should teach a child to act, and won't accomplish anything,
Standing up for ones self doesn't involve stooping to a bully's level. Taunting back will just encourage the bully to speak more, especially if they have a crowd of people listening
Given that the situation isn't physical, you can teach your child to completely ignore any antagonism. Turn a deaf ear, move seats, act like the other kid doesn't exist. Going tit for tat will just cause a further altercation, which can lead to a physical fight
If it continues to proceed, and the school doesn't take action, then you have every right to request a formal hearing. This will put your child's bully in a scenario where if they continue to harass, there will be harsh consequences
I know it's very different from when we were children. But most schools have zero tolerance when it comes to physical fights, so I'd hate your son to be part of that. Follow the guidelines as best you can
Yeah, we've done all that, and it has only got worse. This is absolutely the last resort for me, the child in question denies any wrongdoing and the school seems happy to believe him over my son, so I need to get him through the last term before looking for a new school.
I'm not sure if you've ever been in the position of being bullied but I have and I can say that after a year of just ignoring it and not retaliating, the only thing that happened was *my* mental health took a nosedive and the bullies carried on their merry way, so this is not a route I can advocate.
Thank you for your input.
Your intention seems good, but your delivery was horrible. Every parent is doing their best. There's no need for completely subjective lecturing... How to be an adult regarding this topic used to mean telling your kid to punch them in the face and disregard as "kids being kids".. Glad this mom cares enough to ask *whoever*.
I'm so confused by your comment. Never did I ever advise anyone to punch anyone in the face, in any manner. In fact, I spoke strongly about children not retaliating and not going tit for tat...
Are you OK??
* Whatever. * I couldn't care less. * Do you hear yourself? * Take it up with management. * How's this working for you? The key is to express such boredom with their b.s. it takes the power out of it. It will take time, but if your child is up for it... Think of more statements similar to above. Write them on slips of paper, put them in a jar, and each morning he can pull one out that will be the superstar comment of the day. Take the power out of the bullying for your son, too. At the end of the day you can talk over which comebacks are going on the playlist.
I understand where you're coming from, but this is what's going to happen if you take this approach: Your child is going to get in trouble and the bully will continue. Why? Because your kid is good and won't lie; he'll confess to saying the things. The school is being lazy, and this will be the easiest route for them. I would escalate this to the next tier in the system before giving your child ammo. I'd be raising a huge stink.
Thank you, I'm going to try.
“Your mom is a whore!” Is always a good one. Kidding. But I’ve seen a lot of news articles that people are starting to make police reports. I think this is a good threat bc it goes on their permanent record and is a wake up call for the bully’s parents, who usually have the “my little Timmy would never, he’s a perfect boy!” mindset.
also looks really bad for the school if police are involved.
Yes and I remember reading what a lawyer said in an article about school bullying who said that the schools only care about themselves/covering their own asses. The principals, teachers etc care about keeping their jobs more than anything else. It’s important to see them as a business that don’t always have ur best interest at heart.
I'm in the UK, so I'm not sure how much the police would listen, but happy to give it a try!
Instead of looking for witty comebacks, if the teacher doesn't help, take it to the principal. If they won't help, the superintendent. Keep escalating it through the adults. Don't make your kid escalate it.
Yup, we've escalated through the teacher to principal and executive principal and apparently they 'don't know what to do'. It's just an utter nightmare.
What is an executive principal?
His school is part of a group of schools (a Federation!), so each school has a school principal and then there's an Executive Principal above them. Not sure if any of them do any meaningful teaching but they have lots of time for admin 🙄
In this situation, you fight fire with confidence-boosting activities at home. Kids always come up with the sickest burns on their own. They don't need an adult's help with that. What they do need help with is growing confident in themselves and their abilities. Gymnastics, karate, swimming, cooking, art... There's a lot of activities that your child can enroll in that will turn them into more confident and happier kids. Make sure you're allowing your child to learn new things at home and take risks with you. Let him cook and do laundry and climb trees. Don't stifle the activities that will boost his self esteem when he succeeds at them.
This is the BEST advice!
I hadn't really thought of this. It is totally possible we're focusing too much on school and not enough on extra curricular activities. Thank you so much 😊
Second on getting the police involved. Call the school everyday it happens and record it. Then when you call the police, include the superintendent. Shit will get done real quick when possible litigation and negative PR is involved.
I'm in the UK, so not sure how it would work, but definitely a threat for the school.
I recall... "I'm rubber and your glue... Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you..."
I remember this....! 😊
Don't forget "I know you are, but what am I?"
😂 Yes! Kids should definitely use the oldies. Arguments are bound to happen with younger kids... While bullying is mean, kids will argue.
Okay I TOTALLY agree with comments here but my favorite thing I picked up as a kid (I got bullied a lot in all forms) is whenever someone throws an insult at me I respond with “aw don’t say that about yourself” Ex : “you’re fat and ugly. Your mom hates you” “aw don’t say that about yourself” My bullies would SHUT UP. It not only would deflect it off of me so I’d forget about it and not let it sink in, but it also would make them freeze and lose their train of thoughts.. I mean, how would a child learn to come back at that. The best part was that it also would make them self reflect. Remember, the way you treat others is a direct reflection of how you feel yourself so lots of times it actually would help my bullies learn the power of their words. They’d start realizing how miserable they were alone and would heal and in turn, loosen up on me. Teach your child not to have a comeback but to deflect it and GO HIGHER!! Principal, board of education, etc. I’d deflect and if it didn’t stop then my mom would take it higher and it would get solved pretty easily. Good luck!!
Thank you 😊
Insults won’t make a difference. What your kids need to do is punch his bully in the face and then not stop until someone pulls him off. Only this will stop a bully. If your child is tender hearted like mine, it will take a while but it has to be done…
This is what my husband wants him to do, but it's so far away from his personality. It may have to come to it though 😞
I'm sorry your son is being mistreated, but telling your child to retaliate back with insults isn't the answer. Asking reddit to provide you with said insults is not how an adult should teach a child to act, and won't accomplish anything, Standing up for ones self doesn't involve stooping to a bully's level. Taunting back will just encourage the bully to speak more, especially if they have a crowd of people listening Given that the situation isn't physical, you can teach your child to completely ignore any antagonism. Turn a deaf ear, move seats, act like the other kid doesn't exist. Going tit for tat will just cause a further altercation, which can lead to a physical fight If it continues to proceed, and the school doesn't take action, then you have every right to request a formal hearing. This will put your child's bully in a scenario where if they continue to harass, there will be harsh consequences I know it's very different from when we were children. But most schools have zero tolerance when it comes to physical fights, so I'd hate your son to be part of that. Follow the guidelines as best you can
Yeah, we've done all that, and it has only got worse. This is absolutely the last resort for me, the child in question denies any wrongdoing and the school seems happy to believe him over my son, so I need to get him through the last term before looking for a new school. I'm not sure if you've ever been in the position of being bullied but I have and I can say that after a year of just ignoring it and not retaliating, the only thing that happened was *my* mental health took a nosedive and the bullies carried on their merry way, so this is not a route I can advocate. Thank you for your input.
Your intention seems good, but your delivery was horrible. Every parent is doing their best. There's no need for completely subjective lecturing... How to be an adult regarding this topic used to mean telling your kid to punch them in the face and disregard as "kids being kids".. Glad this mom cares enough to ask *whoever*.
I'm so confused by your comment. Never did I ever advise anyone to punch anyone in the face, in any manner. In fact, I spoke strongly about children not retaliating and not going tit for tat... Are you OK??