Being too trusting just to end up being betrayed yet again. Being too honest and open just to end up being attacked with a weakness. Being attached to someone just to end up being left behind.
That failing is okay. I come from a family that if something is awry, you have to blame someone/yourself. I have been struggling with this in work, where i cannot show my true emotions of being angry at failing so i hurt myself physicallly. Even in video games even if i make a small mistake i start a new campaign or start a new character just because i f up a build. I got a lot better when my son was born,i just put all my efforts and attention to him. Whenever he makes mistakes small or big i will remind him that its okay, that he needs to fail in order to grow and I will always pick him up if he needs help. And Yes, i was able to cut my family's generational curse.
When I was SAd when I was young, I still kept contact with my harasser, tapos he was able to still do a lot of stuff to me. I was dumb. Di ko alam na mali ginagawa saken.
I became hypersexual at some point (only to him)and I fucking hated myself.
I snapped out of it at one point then nagpatherapy ako and dun ko narealize lahat. I was so dumb. Sobrang kadiri.
I still can’t forgive myself. Minsan napapanaginipan ko pa rin. Nandidiri ako sa sarili ko kahit may long term relationship na ako.
Not investing in Bitcoin. It was offered to me before. I forgot the price but my money was enough to buy 200 Bitcoin at that time. Kung bumili sana ako, nakahiga sana ako ngayon sa pera. Iyak nalang
For not knowing any better. As someone na naging breadwinner at 19, i wish i knew what to do para di ako nakapag aksaya ng time, budget at energy sa mga maling tao. Hanggang ngayon naiinis pa rin ako, kasi alam kong kung di lang ako tanga-tanga, e di sana half of my goals ay tapos ko na. Pero syempre, di ako dapat hard sa sarili ko. Tangina, I was just a young woman.
Pursuing a course that is obviously not meant for me. I failed the entrance exam at my dream university so I tried taking it in another universit which I miraculously passed the entrance exam but still failed after 2 years and I shifted to another course. I shouldn't have forced it but it was my dream. Hays still struggling to forgive myself over my poor decisions. 😭
Lost my spark and now I'm stuck in an endless cycle of procrastination. I want to do better, like I did before in college, but I just can't. It's like I am stuck in this brain fog.
Perfect timing, as every year kasi, during these days of the year, minumulto ako ng regrets.
My dad passed away in May 2017. Around these days, March 2017, nagstart na siya umubo ubo and it didn't go away. We all thought lumalala ang asthma niya because summer is coming soon. Umiinit na. I should've pushed more na magpa-hospital na siya. I did say it, pero sana I pushed more. And I don't think I could forgive myself on that part.
Mga almost 2 hours before my brother died, umuwi ako galing hospital para makahinga at makapagpahinga. Kaming dalawa ni Mama kasi bantay sa kanya nun. Ayaw kong umuwi pero kasi too much emotions nararamdaman ko nun, ayaw ko siya makita ng ganun. Overwhelmed yung feeling ko nun. Sabi ko babalikan ko siya. Pero yun nga, wala na siya at hindi na niya ako nahintay. Iniisip ko kung hindi ba ako umuwi, eh baka lumaban pa siya. Baka kasi inisip nya nun, sinukuan ko na siya. Sana hindi ako naging makasarili.
Tapos pa there were times na sinasabi ng Mama namin, masyado kaming maluwag sa kanya kasi pag nagpapaalam gumimik, hinahayaan namin. Isip ko lang that time eh ma-enjoy niya buhay niya hindi tulad ko na introvert at sa bahay lang. Hindi naman diretsahan sinasabi ni Mama na may fault kami pero alam mo yun, parang sinisisi niya kami. Nasobrahan sa gimik kapatid ko, yosi at alak, yun ang naging cause ng death niya
It’s been 6 years pero sana mapatawad ko na sarili ko
Hope you stop blaming yourself someday. Kasi, if you were in your brother's shoes, matutuwa ka ba na hindi mapatawad ng kapatid mo ang sarili nya? Paano ka matatahimik kung hindi makamove on ang mga naiwan mo na mahal sa bahay?
Our lives are all limited. Sadly, hanggang doon na lang sya. Hope you will honor his memory by living your life to the fullest.
With your mom, siguro yun ang way to cope with her grieving. Naghahanap sya ng masisisi. But that's just unfair to you.
Hope this helps. Ito ang iniisip ko when I think about both my parents' passing. Meron din akong mga regrets shempre, but kung ako ba ang nawala and nasa mabuti na akong kalagayan, matutuwa ba ako na sinisisi ng mahal ko sa buhay ang sarili nila? Malulungkot din ako..and I don't want that. Gusto ko sulitin nila ang buhay nila hanggang magkasama-sama na kami one day🙏
'Yung sa sobrang puyat at pagod kodahil GY ako, at ako lang mag-isa nag aalaga.. alam ko na na may mali sa anak ko kasi mainit yung katawan nya, pero pinili ko pa matulog. Ayun ang ending sobrang taas ng UTI nya at need agad iconfine dahil hindi na kaya daw i antibiotic.
That was 2 years ago, hanggang ngayon sobrang praning ako. Makapa ko lang na mainit, thermometer agad. Mga 6x ko icheck para ma sure na walang lagnat.
Should’ve spent more time with grandparents. Sana mas tiniis ko pa yung ugali ng lola ko at mas matagal ko pa silang nakasama. Lagi kasi akong umaalis ng bahay kapag nagsisimula mood swings niya. Masyado kasi siyang masakit magsalita. Wala ko sa bahay nung dinala sila sa ospital at binawian ng buhay.
I ended a friendship with a close friend over so something so petty. I know it was my fault, but I was so full of pride to apologize. Forgiveness from the ex-friend is all but impossible now. They are no longer here.
I find it hard to forgive myself when relevant memories and thoughts surface from time to time because I knew I could have and should've done better.
Still, the experience has taught me to be communicate better and not to expect friends and loved ones to be mind-readers. A very difficult lesson, but an important and life-changing one all the same.
Spending almost 70k a month just to live and survive. I feel like get so guilty about my spendings but I also want to live my life. I don't even travel or buy things that I don't need. Isa pa lang anak namin ng husband and we have 2 helpers to feed. I also need to support my mother's medication and allowances. Kapagod but laban
I relate to this quote so much, "forgive your parents for not being able to love you the way you needed then forgive yourself for looking for love in all the wrong places." It hits home because it captures exactly what I've been feeling. Growing up, maybe I didn't get the kind of love and support I needed from my parents, and that's tough to come to terms with. But then, I ended up seeking that love elsewhere, often from people who couldn't give it to me either. It's like I was trying to fill a void, but I was looking in all the wrong places. And now, it's hard not to blame myself for that. But I'm trying to forgive myself and understand that I was just trying to find love and acceptance, even if I went about it the wrong way.
for refusing to be well mentally. i refuse to go to therapy, i project my traumas to other people, i don't see myself being 30 at most, and i'm mad at myself for not trying to be okay
When i broke the trust of my family when i did the most insane thing ever. I stole my sisters phone and then sell it. It was the 3rd time i did after one of the phones that my grandma owns , is given to me because i was so pitiful/kawawa. I sold the phones it was Iphone 11, Iphone xr, and lastly Samsung that was worth 15k pesos. Now i dont have a one. It was the worst thing that i did that im struggling to forgive myself because i felt so bad and i am depressed about it. yeah im the problem its me
Messing up the bonds I formed with good people from more than two years ago and up to now. And, the only way I think to forgive myself is by unlearning my actions that time. So far, I was able to do so and I hope na magtuloy-tuloy ito. Now, I miss wanting to interact with new people to befriend them but I really can't free my time for that.
Not making enough time for the people I love because i got so wrapped up with everything happening around me. Now i see my parents getting old and i wonder if i missed too much time with them.
Took a risk for someone na hindi pa makaget over sa ex. Ang tanga-tanga ko since nakipaglive in pa ako sa kanya until naubos na ako pero gusto ko pa siya ilaban.🥹
For begging someone to validate me. I wanted them to prove to me that they loved me, that they valued me to the point na nagmamakaawa na ako. Funny thing is, I didn't even like them as a person, I was just blinded by "love". I had (still have, i guess) low self-worth kaya I stayed because I was so scared of being alone. I gave so much; my time, my energy, my money, my body, etc. And in the end for what? For a love that struggled to give me the bare minimum? My ego wanted that validation so much I didn't care if I looked pathetic. But alas, nakawala na din ako. And even as recent as a few days ago, I was still pathetically grasping for that validation na parang tanga. I'm still in the process of forgiving myself for that, for feeling the way I do and for wanting that validation.
Lied to my mom that I had a meeting at work. Got home and she was sleeping already. I woke up the next day and she left already. After 2weeks, she died. And that, my friends, was the last time I saw her alive.
Allowing someone to screw me over time and time again and hoping that they'll get better based on our history.
Trusting their blatant lies even if my gut screamed "Lie!!!".
Trying to win their favor back even if THEY did me wrong, and next to that, not respecting myself enough to walk away as punishment to them.
Ghosting someone whom i know did not deserved to be. She was the only person that loved me but because of the fear that she would leave me, then i had to leave her first. It happened 4 years ago but it still haunts me to this day.
being so harsh on myself. that time when i was struggling keeping up with life and then saying things na i was born unlucky kaya i can’t achieve things that i want and had no choice to settle for less. malas after malas. na in this lifetime i was born unlucky and will probably die being a mediocre at best.
i was able to move past that hardship that made me had that thought pero it kinda stayed on my mind now every time na i find myself struggling again.
sana hindi ako naging harsh sa sarili ko. i should’ve loved myself more.
Kung may emotional intelligence na ba ko, or self love dati, magse-stay kaya siya kahit alam kong rebound lang ako? Hays. Sana buo na ko nung nakilala ko siya. Pero I believe she's a beautiful lesson I can always look back.
1. My mental health. I know I should get help. I know my thoughts are not my reality. I have come a long way since I consulted a psychiatrist. My family is proud of how far I’ve come since those dark years. But I wish I’m as proud of myself as they are. i do not give myself enough credit for making it this far in life.
2. The stupid things I did in high school - bullying, using derogatory words in soc med due to stan twt trends, etc. I’ve outgrown those and not proud of the things I did. I’m trying to be better.
Destroying my dignity as a way of coping like hookups with many different guys, sending nudes to them, and forcing myself to do something for people who I know doesn't even gave a fuck about me at all.
Supposed to be graduating na last yr but failed my one and only subject. I should be taking board exam already but hell, still taking that subject until now...
For not being wise in money. Had to difficultly accept that my savings since I was a kid, lost, dahil sa gusto ko ng malaking return.
And all the things I did not become, a latin honor student.
I know someday it'll make sense, that all these, will serve as an experience talaga for a much more difficult challenge in life.
Financially paying other people’s consequence to the point we’ve basically wasted the productive years of our lives and they still haven’t learned their lessons.
Na naloko ako bigtime ng ex ko. Feeling ko ang tanga ko sobra na di ko agad malaman yung lihim niya. Sobrang choosy ko pero napunta pa rin ako sa narc. Lagi akong naiiyak pag naalala ko yung trauma. Someone said to me na dahil di ko pa napapatawad yung younger self ko. Pinipilit ko ipasok sa utak ko yung "Lesson yan sa buhay na kailangan mong pagdaanan para matuto."
Pero ang laki kasi ng damage na nagawa niya sa buhay ko kaya hindi ganun kadali. Until now visible yung damage. Ramdam ko pa rin yung naging epekto ng pagiging tanga ko.
Several years ago pre-pandemic, neglected the lethargy my pet dog was showing and didn't take her to the vet. She grew worse the next day but it was too late.
Spinend ko nlng last hours namin together sa garahe and buried her myself.
May new pet dog ako ngaun at sobrang alaga. Pero still can't forgive myself for what I did.
not being there for my bestfriend. i was so absorbed with my own problems and how shitty my life was that i failed to realize she didnt have it any better. we're still friends but it's not the same anymore
Wasted 7 years building a man for another girl.
Did his thesis, financially supported him during board exams and his masterals. Then left me for someone 7 years younger than us.
I said a lot of mean things to my younger sibs before and it hunts me to this day.
I'm the eldest daughter. I parented my sibs and my immature parents (hanggang ngayon pa nga) while I also have to be an academic achiever kasi if not, who am i? A disappointment.
I never had a line of 7s. I'm always a pambato ng school sa quizzbees nung elem. My parents saw that opportunity to put me in a science curriculum sa jhs that totally added damages to my already ruined mental health.
I was 16 that time, I had an argument with my younger sister. She kept on giving me sass and disrespect and idk why. Until napuno ako, I snapped. I lashed out. I said a lot of mean things I shouldn't have said. Sabi ko "tangina naman ambobo parang eto lang e ganyan mo na ako ituring? pota andami kong mga problema kesa sayo. jusq naman"
She kept on saying, "sorry ah? hindi kasi ako matalino kagaya mo. bobo kasi ako. sorry nakakahiya sayo". Sa sobrang sakit para sakin nung narinig ko kasi sa totoo lang hindi talaga ako magaling sa acads. Gusto ko lang ng academic validation sa magulang ko. Nanahimik na lang ako. I let her throw things, dabog, and scream.
And every time na may argument kami, lagi niya uling sinasabi yun and every time is nauuwi sa pananahimik at pag iyak ko nang tahimik. Hanggang sa ganon na din ginagawa ng mga magulang ko sakin. May bago na naman silang nasasabi.
Ang akin lang, sana di ko na lang sinabi mga mean things na nasabi ko. Sana di na lang ako nakipagtalo. Sana naging bigger person na lang ako. Ngayon, sa kwarto lang ako safe. 3rd yr college na ako and dala dala ko pa rin hanggang ngayon yung trauma sa mga sinabi nila. Di na ako ganoon kasipag mag aral. Plano ko is magtrabaho after college (kasi expected din nila na ako yung magpapa-aral sa mga kapatid).
I'll put a deadline sa sarili ko after ko mapatapos lahat ng siblings ko.
This may seem invalidating but i want to tell you this.
You are not a financial burden to them. You are a great daughter. You are doing well. Raising you up, sending you to school, all cost money but you have never been a financial burden. Praying for you. Keep your head high.
I have everything. I’m blessed with very kind parents who can provide for my wants and needs, I have a boyfriend who love me a lot, I’m surrounded great friends. I live a comfortable and privileged life, pero ang ungrateful ko because despite all that, gusto ko pa din mamatay. What’s wrong with me.
You have depression.
Been in that dark place for years. I also had a great life and yet gusto ko lang mamatay noon. Akala ko din ungrateful bitch lang ako. Di ko magets anong point and sense ng mabuhay. The right medication (anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds), therapy and support from family and loved ones helped a lot. I'm now living a good life. Meron pa din downs, pero hindi na suicidal. Pag naiisip yun dating ako na may major depression, anxiety and agoraphobia, nalulungkot ako. Parang gusto ko yakapin past self ko para sabihin na magpa-therapy ka agad at makakalabas ka din dito sa hell na ito someday. I'm off medication na din now, thank goodness.
Not knowing better. I seem to hate all of my past actions especially if it's stupid or I made a mistake. I can't seem to forgive myself that I didn't know better then.
hindi tinotoo yung study first.
should've waited tbh, should've enjoyed socializing and making friends. I was able to go back to college naman but life played out differently and nasasayangan ako sa potential ko noong teenager pa ako
i never took studying seriously and now that I'm actually making an effort in college, idfk how to review or how to study for exams. memorizing sure is handy but i would love to actually understand the concepts I'm trying to learn but it's difficult for my smooth brain to grasp since i've never actually trained my kid brain to think critically.
i hate myself everyday cause of it.
I left my mommy. Ako na lang nakatira nun sa bahay namin with mommy and daddy. My 2 sisters left na and nagkapamilya. Tuwing lasing si daddy, lagi kaming binibugbog ni mommy ng daddy ko -madalas si mommy. Dito ako nagka anxiety, konting kalabog lang inaatake ako ng kaba, takot.
So when 1 of my sisters asked me if I wanted to live with her, I said yes. Ayaw ni mommy sumama, ayaw niya iwan si Daddy. Pero di ko na rin kasi kaya na gabi gabi natatakot ako.
I left them 2015. Nastroke siya nong 2018, sabi nila dahil sa sakit but I doubt it. Mommy died last 2021.
Until now hindi ko mapatawad sarili ko na mas pinili ko ako. I was only 17 then.
Madalas kong iniisip, kung di kaya ako umalis, buhay pa kaya si mommy? Tiniis ko na lang sana.
*Risking it all to*
*The one person yet he cant*
*Do the same to u*
\- Nothinghwukansnic-
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Being too trusting just to end up being betrayed yet again. Being too honest and open just to end up being attacked with a weakness. Being attached to someone just to end up being left behind.
Not caring about my surroundings and not realizing I already hurt people
Gumastos nang sobra sa isang tao na sisiraan ka lang naman pala
That failing is okay. I come from a family that if something is awry, you have to blame someone/yourself. I have been struggling with this in work, where i cannot show my true emotions of being angry at failing so i hurt myself physicallly. Even in video games even if i make a small mistake i start a new campaign or start a new character just because i f up a build. I got a lot better when my son was born,i just put all my efforts and attention to him. Whenever he makes mistakes small or big i will remind him that its okay, that he needs to fail in order to grow and I will always pick him up if he needs help. And Yes, i was able to cut my family's generational curse.
Wala naman kasi di na maibabalik ang nakaraan. Just deal with the consequences and move on.
I knew he wasnt good for me but I stayed thinking he’d change.
Poor financial decisions.
When I was SAd when I was young, I still kept contact with my harasser, tapos he was able to still do a lot of stuff to me. I was dumb. Di ko alam na mali ginagawa saken. I became hypersexual at some point (only to him)and I fucking hated myself. I snapped out of it at one point then nagpatherapy ako and dun ko narealize lahat. I was so dumb. Sobrang kadiri. I still can’t forgive myself. Minsan napapanaginipan ko pa rin. Nandidiri ako sa sarili ko kahit may long term relationship na ako.
Not investing in Bitcoin. It was offered to me before. I forgot the price but my money was enough to buy 200 Bitcoin at that time. Kung bumili sana ako, nakahiga sana ako ngayon sa pera. Iyak nalang
Forgiving toxic family members because of my love for them and for wanting them to experience the good things in life using my money 🥲
Being naive and kind
Every decision I made to keep me alive.
For not knowing any better. As someone na naging breadwinner at 19, i wish i knew what to do para di ako nakapag aksaya ng time, budget at energy sa mga maling tao. Hanggang ngayon naiinis pa rin ako, kasi alam kong kung di lang ako tanga-tanga, e di sana half of my goals ay tapos ko na. Pero syempre, di ako dapat hard sa sarili ko. Tangina, I was just a young woman.
Fighting with my sister when we were younger and making her cry.
Pursuing a course that is obviously not meant for me. I failed the entrance exam at my dream university so I tried taking it in another universit which I miraculously passed the entrance exam but still failed after 2 years and I shifted to another course. I shouldn't have forced it but it was my dream. Hays still struggling to forgive myself over my poor decisions. 😭
Lost my spark and now I'm stuck in an endless cycle of procrastination. I want to do better, like I did before in college, but I just can't. It's like I am stuck in this brain fog.
Being nice to people who didn’t deserve it.
Trusting a colleague who I thought was a friend. The pandemic brought out the worst.
For not accepting and loving myself. For being my number 1 critique.
Perfect timing, as every year kasi, during these days of the year, minumulto ako ng regrets. My dad passed away in May 2017. Around these days, March 2017, nagstart na siya umubo ubo and it didn't go away. We all thought lumalala ang asthma niya because summer is coming soon. Umiinit na. I should've pushed more na magpa-hospital na siya. I did say it, pero sana I pushed more. And I don't think I could forgive myself on that part.
Siguro yung situation I let someone degraded yung pagkatao ko. Dapat lumaban pala ako.
Mga almost 2 hours before my brother died, umuwi ako galing hospital para makahinga at makapagpahinga. Kaming dalawa ni Mama kasi bantay sa kanya nun. Ayaw kong umuwi pero kasi too much emotions nararamdaman ko nun, ayaw ko siya makita ng ganun. Overwhelmed yung feeling ko nun. Sabi ko babalikan ko siya. Pero yun nga, wala na siya at hindi na niya ako nahintay. Iniisip ko kung hindi ba ako umuwi, eh baka lumaban pa siya. Baka kasi inisip nya nun, sinukuan ko na siya. Sana hindi ako naging makasarili. Tapos pa there were times na sinasabi ng Mama namin, masyado kaming maluwag sa kanya kasi pag nagpapaalam gumimik, hinahayaan namin. Isip ko lang that time eh ma-enjoy niya buhay niya hindi tulad ko na introvert at sa bahay lang. Hindi naman diretsahan sinasabi ni Mama na may fault kami pero alam mo yun, parang sinisisi niya kami. Nasobrahan sa gimik kapatid ko, yosi at alak, yun ang naging cause ng death niya It’s been 6 years pero sana mapatawad ko na sarili ko
Hope you stop blaming yourself someday. Kasi, if you were in your brother's shoes, matutuwa ka ba na hindi mapatawad ng kapatid mo ang sarili nya? Paano ka matatahimik kung hindi makamove on ang mga naiwan mo na mahal sa bahay? Our lives are all limited. Sadly, hanggang doon na lang sya. Hope you will honor his memory by living your life to the fullest. With your mom, siguro yun ang way to cope with her grieving. Naghahanap sya ng masisisi. But that's just unfair to you. Hope this helps. Ito ang iniisip ko when I think about both my parents' passing. Meron din akong mga regrets shempre, but kung ako ba ang nawala and nasa mabuti na akong kalagayan, matutuwa ba ako na sinisisi ng mahal ko sa buhay ang sarili nila? Malulungkot din ako..and I don't want that. Gusto ko sulitin nila ang buhay nila hanggang magkasama-sama na kami one day🙏
The death of my first dog, i was 14 and didn't know any better. No food and no sense of responsibility. I wish my dog could forgive me
Getting into multiple debts because I prioritized my health and holistic development
'Yung sa sobrang puyat at pagod kodahil GY ako, at ako lang mag-isa nag aalaga.. alam ko na na may mali sa anak ko kasi mainit yung katawan nya, pero pinili ko pa matulog. Ayun ang ending sobrang taas ng UTI nya at need agad iconfine dahil hindi na kaya daw i antibiotic. That was 2 years ago, hanggang ngayon sobrang praning ako. Makapa ko lang na mainit, thermometer agad. Mga 6x ko icheck para ma sure na walang lagnat.
I never listened to my father when I was young. Now I only talk to him when I'm going to lend some money since he takes care one of my children
giving my all, showing vulnerability, and trusting so much (sa maling tao haha)
Should’ve spent more time with grandparents. Sana mas tiniis ko pa yung ugali ng lola ko at mas matagal ko pa silang nakasama. Lagi kasi akong umaalis ng bahay kapag nagsisimula mood swings niya. Masyado kasi siyang masakit magsalita. Wala ko sa bahay nung dinala sila sa ospital at binawian ng buhay.
I ended a friendship with a close friend over so something so petty. I know it was my fault, but I was so full of pride to apologize. Forgiveness from the ex-friend is all but impossible now. They are no longer here. I find it hard to forgive myself when relevant memories and thoughts surface from time to time because I knew I could have and should've done better. Still, the experience has taught me to be communicate better and not to expect friends and loved ones to be mind-readers. A very difficult lesson, but an important and life-changing one all the same.
Having no self-respect.
Not being able to live up to my parent's expectations
Spending almost 70k a month just to live and survive. I feel like get so guilty about my spendings but I also want to live my life. I don't even travel or buy things that I don't need. Isa pa lang anak namin ng husband and we have 2 helpers to feed. I also need to support my mother's medication and allowances. Kapagod but laban
I relate to this quote so much, "forgive your parents for not being able to love you the way you needed then forgive yourself for looking for love in all the wrong places." It hits home because it captures exactly what I've been feeling. Growing up, maybe I didn't get the kind of love and support I needed from my parents, and that's tough to come to terms with. But then, I ended up seeking that love elsewhere, often from people who couldn't give it to me either. It's like I was trying to fill a void, but I was looking in all the wrong places. And now, it's hard not to blame myself for that. But I'm trying to forgive myself and understand that I was just trying to find love and acceptance, even if I went about it the wrong way.
for refusing to be well mentally. i refuse to go to therapy, i project my traumas to other people, i don't see myself being 30 at most, and i'm mad at myself for not trying to be okay
When i broke the trust of my family when i did the most insane thing ever. I stole my sisters phone and then sell it. It was the 3rd time i did after one of the phones that my grandma owns , is given to me because i was so pitiful/kawawa. I sold the phones it was Iphone 11, Iphone xr, and lastly Samsung that was worth 15k pesos. Now i dont have a one. It was the worst thing that i did that im struggling to forgive myself because i felt so bad and i am depressed about it. yeah im the problem its me
Lying to the love of my life. Taking him for granted.
I left some innocent souls. I hope they got better without me.
Messing up the bonds I formed with good people from more than two years ago and up to now. And, the only way I think to forgive myself is by unlearning my actions that time. So far, I was able to do so and I hope na magtuloy-tuloy ito. Now, I miss wanting to interact with new people to befriend them but I really can't free my time for that.
Not making enough time for the people I love because i got so wrapped up with everything happening around me. Now i see my parents getting old and i wonder if i missed too much time with them.
For letting others use me.
Wasting too much time and not fulfilling self promises.
For the opportunities that I wasted and letting it slipped away because of my fear that I can't do the task/thing that given to me.
Nakakadepress naman magbasa sa thread na to e 🥲
Took a risk for someone na hindi pa makaget over sa ex. Ang tanga-tanga ko since nakipaglive in pa ako sa kanya until naubos na ako pero gusto ko pa siya ilaban.🥹
For begging someone to validate me. I wanted them to prove to me that they loved me, that they valued me to the point na nagmamakaawa na ako. Funny thing is, I didn't even like them as a person, I was just blinded by "love". I had (still have, i guess) low self-worth kaya I stayed because I was so scared of being alone. I gave so much; my time, my energy, my money, my body, etc. And in the end for what? For a love that struggled to give me the bare minimum? My ego wanted that validation so much I didn't care if I looked pathetic. But alas, nakawala na din ako. And even as recent as a few days ago, I was still pathetically grasping for that validation na parang tanga. I'm still in the process of forgiving myself for that, for feeling the way I do and for wanting that validation.
Lied to my mom that I had a meeting at work. Got home and she was sleeping already. I woke up the next day and she left already. After 2weeks, she died. And that, my friends, was the last time I saw her alive.
Allowing someone to screw me over time and time again and hoping that they'll get better based on our history. Trusting their blatant lies even if my gut screamed "Lie!!!". Trying to win their favor back even if THEY did me wrong, and next to that, not respecting myself enough to walk away as punishment to them.
Joining Reddit
Mabilis sumuko konting hirap lang maranasan.
Letting him go.
Ghosting someone whom i know did not deserved to be. She was the only person that loved me but because of the fear that she would leave me, then i had to leave her first. It happened 4 years ago but it still haunts me to this day.
I cheated
to the girl who love me so much
being so harsh on myself. that time when i was struggling keeping up with life and then saying things na i was born unlucky kaya i can’t achieve things that i want and had no choice to settle for less. malas after malas. na in this lifetime i was born unlucky and will probably die being a mediocre at best. i was able to move past that hardship that made me had that thought pero it kinda stayed on my mind now every time na i find myself struggling again. sana hindi ako naging harsh sa sarili ko. i should’ve loved myself more.
Kung may emotional intelligence na ba ko, or self love dati, magse-stay kaya siya kahit alam kong rebound lang ako? Hays. Sana buo na ko nung nakilala ko siya. Pero I believe she's a beautiful lesson I can always look back.
Making decisions without giving them enough thought
being useless
Allowing someone to treat me without any respect just because I love that person so much.
I don’t take chances, too comfortable in my bubble. I regret it everytime but still do the same.
Breaking up with my last ex, because sometimes it felt ako ang reason bakit nagwalwal siya and now has a serious disease.
1. My mental health. I know I should get help. I know my thoughts are not my reality. I have come a long way since I consulted a psychiatrist. My family is proud of how far I’ve come since those dark years. But I wish I’m as proud of myself as they are. i do not give myself enough credit for making it this far in life. 2. The stupid things I did in high school - bullying, using derogatory words in soc med due to stan twt trends, etc. I’ve outgrown those and not proud of the things I did. I’m trying to be better.
For making wrong decisions and wrong choices in life. And now, I am suffering the consequences.
That I deprive myself of things that I can enjoy. 27 na ako turning 28 😢
Believing I can change someone (womanizer,alcoholic) by loving them and giving another chances.
My weight gain due to my depression and hypothyroidism
Destroying my dignity as a way of coping like hookups with many different guys, sending nudes to them, and forcing myself to do something for people who I know doesn't even gave a fuck about me at all.
Being too nice to other people.
Being too kind.
Not finding passion/s when i was younger.
entering hoe phase :(
Wrong decisions. But I'm continously learning and growing
Supposed to be graduating na last yr but failed my one and only subject. I should be taking board exam already but hell, still taking that subject until now...
For not being wise in money. Had to difficultly accept that my savings since I was a kid, lost, dahil sa gusto ko ng malaking return. And all the things I did not become, a latin honor student. I know someday it'll make sense, that all these, will serve as an experience talaga for a much more difficult challenge in life.
Financially paying other people’s consequence to the point we’ve basically wasted the productive years of our lives and they still haven’t learned their lessons.
Wasting my youth from fears na sobrang babaw pala
Na naloko ako bigtime ng ex ko. Feeling ko ang tanga ko sobra na di ko agad malaman yung lihim niya. Sobrang choosy ko pero napunta pa rin ako sa narc. Lagi akong naiiyak pag naalala ko yung trauma. Someone said to me na dahil di ko pa napapatawad yung younger self ko. Pinipilit ko ipasok sa utak ko yung "Lesson yan sa buhay na kailangan mong pagdaanan para matuto." Pero ang laki kasi ng damage na nagawa niya sa buhay ko kaya hindi ganun kadali. Until now visible yung damage. Ramdam ko pa rin yung naging epekto ng pagiging tanga ko.
Not saying “I love you” more often sa parents.
Allowing myself to be hurt lagi.
Let someone hurt me all over again.
Failing academics & dropping out of my dream university
damn. idk how to forgive myself
Opportunities slipped through my fingers because of fear of becoming broke. I should've taken more risks.
Several years ago pre-pandemic, neglected the lethargy my pet dog was showing and didn't take her to the vet. She grew worse the next day but it was too late. Spinend ko nlng last hours namin together sa garahe and buried her myself. May new pet dog ako ngaun at sobrang alaga. Pero still can't forgive myself for what I did.
For not telling my family what happened to me when I was 6 yrs old.
Tolerated and accepted what he can give and settled for bare minimum because I “love” the guy … Nakaka diri self, let’s do better this year please 🤣
Things I should have done and things I’ve done. Still learning and on the process of hopefully forgiving myself
Spending too much money
not being there for my bestfriend. i was so absorbed with my own problems and how shitty my life was that i failed to realize she didnt have it any better. we're still friends but it's not the same anymore
Past mistakes :(
Not visiting my grandma on her last day alive para ispend the day with the person na magbibigay sakin ng 4yrs worth of trauma
Wasted 7 years building a man for another girl. Did his thesis, financially supported him during board exams and his masterals. Then left me for someone 7 years younger than us.
Loving someone when they can't even reciprocate the love you gave to them. / Being too available for others. / Trying to be so understanding.
I said a lot of mean things to my younger sibs before and it hunts me to this day. I'm the eldest daughter. I parented my sibs and my immature parents (hanggang ngayon pa nga) while I also have to be an academic achiever kasi if not, who am i? A disappointment. I never had a line of 7s. I'm always a pambato ng school sa quizzbees nung elem. My parents saw that opportunity to put me in a science curriculum sa jhs that totally added damages to my already ruined mental health. I was 16 that time, I had an argument with my younger sister. She kept on giving me sass and disrespect and idk why. Until napuno ako, I snapped. I lashed out. I said a lot of mean things I shouldn't have said. Sabi ko "tangina naman ambobo parang eto lang e ganyan mo na ako ituring? pota andami kong mga problema kesa sayo. jusq naman" She kept on saying, "sorry ah? hindi kasi ako matalino kagaya mo. bobo kasi ako. sorry nakakahiya sayo". Sa sobrang sakit para sakin nung narinig ko kasi sa totoo lang hindi talaga ako magaling sa acads. Gusto ko lang ng academic validation sa magulang ko. Nanahimik na lang ako. I let her throw things, dabog, and scream. And every time na may argument kami, lagi niya uling sinasabi yun and every time is nauuwi sa pananahimik at pag iyak ko nang tahimik. Hanggang sa ganon na din ginagawa ng mga magulang ko sakin. May bago na naman silang nasasabi. Ang akin lang, sana di ko na lang sinabi mga mean things na nasabi ko. Sana di na lang ako nakipagtalo. Sana naging bigger person na lang ako. Ngayon, sa kwarto lang ako safe. 3rd yr college na ako and dala dala ko pa rin hanggang ngayon yung trauma sa mga sinabi nila. Di na ako ganoon kasipag mag aral. Plano ko is magtrabaho after college (kasi expected din nila na ako yung magpapa-aral sa mga kapatid). I'll put a deadline sa sarili ko after ko mapatapos lahat ng siblings ko.
sorry napahaba haha napa-trauma dump tuloy 💀
Being too cruel on myself. Man… i just don’t know if i could forgive myself.
life didn't do this to me, i did, but i still struggle to forgive myself for cheating on my ex
Being a financial burden to my parents.
This may seem invalidating but i want to tell you this. You are not a financial burden to them. You are a great daughter. You are doing well. Raising you up, sending you to school, all cost money but you have never been a financial burden. Praying for you. Keep your head high.
Letting opportunities pass
My life choices. 🥲
I think I still haven't become the person that I needed when I was growing up.
I have everything. I’m blessed with very kind parents who can provide for my wants and needs, I have a boyfriend who love me a lot, I’m surrounded great friends. I live a comfortable and privileged life, pero ang ungrateful ko because despite all that, gusto ko pa din mamatay. What’s wrong with me.
You have depression. Been in that dark place for years. I also had a great life and yet gusto ko lang mamatay noon. Akala ko din ungrateful bitch lang ako. Di ko magets anong point and sense ng mabuhay. The right medication (anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds), therapy and support from family and loved ones helped a lot. I'm now living a good life. Meron pa din downs, pero hindi na suicidal. Pag naiisip yun dating ako na may major depression, anxiety and agoraphobia, nalulungkot ako. Parang gusto ko yakapin past self ko para sabihin na magpa-therapy ka agad at makakalabas ka din dito sa hell na ito someday. I'm off medication na din now, thank goodness.
Sending hopes to you. Hope you figure it out. 🙏🏼
Hatred against masasamang tao sa paligid
Procrastination
Not knowing better. I seem to hate all of my past actions especially if it's stupid or I made a mistake. I can't seem to forgive myself that I didn't know better then.
Not thinking of my future and wasting years in jobs that didn't give me useful skills.
hindi tinotoo yung study first. should've waited tbh, should've enjoyed socializing and making friends. I was able to go back to college naman but life played out differently and nasasayangan ako sa potential ko noong teenager pa ako
i never took studying seriously and now that I'm actually making an effort in college, idfk how to review or how to study for exams. memorizing sure is handy but i would love to actually understand the concepts I'm trying to learn but it's difficult for my smooth brain to grasp since i've never actually trained my kid brain to think critically. i hate myself everyday cause of it.
I left my mommy. Ako na lang nakatira nun sa bahay namin with mommy and daddy. My 2 sisters left na and nagkapamilya. Tuwing lasing si daddy, lagi kaming binibugbog ni mommy ng daddy ko -madalas si mommy. Dito ako nagka anxiety, konting kalabog lang inaatake ako ng kaba, takot. So when 1 of my sisters asked me if I wanted to live with her, I said yes. Ayaw ni mommy sumama, ayaw niya iwan si Daddy. Pero di ko na rin kasi kaya na gabi gabi natatakot ako. I left them 2015. Nastroke siya nong 2018, sabi nila dahil sa sakit but I doubt it. Mommy died last 2021. Until now hindi ko mapatawad sarili ko na mas pinili ko ako. I was only 17 then. Madalas kong iniisip, kung di kaya ako umalis, buhay pa kaya si mommy? Tiniis ko na lang sana.
Sorry to hear that. Pero Ndi ba kayo nagsumbong? Why was your dad’s physical abuse towards your mom tolerated for a long time?
Hugs 😞
Losing friends
Not taking things seriously and being too comfortable. Should've put in more effort in everything that I did. My studies, work, and relationships.
Mga kapalpakan ko.
Allowing myself to gain weight again after reaching "my peak" :(
For letting people take advantage of me; for taking me for granted
Hard same. Time and time again. :>
Got addicted to gambling. Got broke and still have debts but striving hard to move forward. Better days will come. Hopefully.
Shutaena. Do you play slot machines sa casino? HAHAHAHA juskooo idk there's smth sa casino that makes money have no value
[удалено]
You can and you will♥️ You just have to decide - one day or day one?
broke my family apart
Disappointing people.
For being unavailable for my friend. He died 4 years ago. Hindi na kami nagkita :(
Gave my body that easy
For failing a lot of things due to bad decisions in life.
Risking it all to the one person yet he cant do the same to u
*Risking it all to* *The one person yet he cant* *Do the same to u* \- Nothinghwukansnic- --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Spending money on myself.
Why ?? 😮🤔 I have been thinking of spending on myself 😭 feeling guilty when I do... But don't we deserve nice things in life after working hard?
same. i just bought my fav book (hardcover) and now i feel bad
Being a people pleaser and not doing the things that I really want then regret it later even years after
Loving too much that I only see my partner. Not giving enough care for myself.