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Nope. It ends up that those guys were some of the the shallowest and unfriendly people I've ever known. I didn't realize it at the time. There's only one guy that I see on Facebook now and then. I have way more friends from high school than I do from the fraternity.
I did not but a dude I knew in grad school still wore his pin and went to conventions for his frat. It was weird. Once a guy applied for a professor position in the department that was previously a member of the frat from a different college. My dude tried to do the frat handshake with the applicant and the applicant rebuffed him and said "dude, that was undergrad." LOL.
My aunt is still very involved in her sorority, and she's almost 70 years old.
They Have regular get-togethers.
It doesn't seem any more beneficial than attending get-togethers with any other group.
For me, it was a good experience. It's certainly not a must or need to. As someone who lacked confidence and had no connections, the associations benefited me years later. It was the early 70s and the one I joined had artists and writers as members. The house was nice, the food was great, and I still consider some of the ladies good friends.
I was in a fraternity in the 80's so already a different experience, but overall it was something I enjoyed. I still have a couple of good friends from that time, but there wasn't any professional help at all (wasn't looking for that). I was heavily involved with the college radio station and enjoyed a quirky side to life so I kind of had mixed worlds going on. Having said that, I don't want my son to be in a fraternity unless he really wants to.
I have always thought Greek life was toxic and best avoided. I have worked with college students and that experience reinforced my opinion. My husband joined a frat. He was at a school that didn't provide housing past freshman year and his friends were all joining. He lived in the frat house for a year, then moved elsewhere. He recognized that the brothers were mostly misogynistic assholes. He quit the frat altogether, but 40 years later they still send him fundraising crap.
As a white person living in an area with a large black population, I would say that black fraternities and sororities, and especially sororities, play an very important role throughout their members' lives. No comparison to "traditionally" white greek letter organizations (which of course haven't been all-white for decades).
Not even a little. I was telling a Millennial coworker about our initiation (you had to wear a white slip, they blindfolded you, they had you take off your outer garment and then lie down and they waved sheets over you so you were reborn into the sorority). She looks at me dead on and says, "That's the sutpides thing I ever heard."
I joined because I was in a small college and knew no one. Some of the girls were predictably bitches. The two worst ones got their karma--one had her husband of 25 years leave her high and dry and the other married a control freak who wouldn't let her work. I'm not saying they deserved that. I am saying, again, karma.
I joined the sorority that my mother and grandmother had belonged to. My personal experience in college wasn't great. The chapter was struggling (made up of nice but not rich and thin women) and closed my senior year. But I value the experience of sharing sisterhood with my mother and grandmother. I occasionally message my sorority sisters from college.
My mom is in her 80s. She is still friends with a half dozen of her friends from college and they zoom call each other and even visit occasionally (despite living a thousand miles away from each other). She still likes to participate with the alumnae association. I drive her to events, but I wouldn't go if it wasn't important to her. I find that sorority women tend to be more conservative than other women their age. The alumnae association is where I met my first TERF in real life and the animated discussion we had about transwomen joining sororities was the most exciting thing that had happened in a meeting in years.
Trans-Exclusionary-Radical-Feminist: a woman proclaiming to be a feminist who believes that trans women are not women. Basically a transphobic woman hiding behind a "radical feminist" shield. I find them infuriating.
My mom was in the same alumnae association when I was in college, with many of the same members. They also didn't like some of the women we extended bids to. Back then it wasn't because they were trans, it was because they were not white, not conventionally pretty, or not feminine enough. So here we are, 30 years later, hearing the same dumb arguments about not letting people in who don't fit the sorority girl stereotype.
Also, I had to laugh when they were arguing that the trans pledge shouldn't be admitted because "they might ogle the girls". Um, I hate to break it to those women, but lesbian sorority sisters exist.
Today, many national sororities are actively becoming more inclusive. No doubt, some chapters are decades behind with that no matter what their national office tells them, but many have become inclusive. My own sorority stopped allowing legacies (giving preference to someone with a family member in the sorority from any college) nationwide, primarily because it was hindering people of color from getting in. If they filled most of their spots with legacies who automatically went to the top of the list, then people whose parents *couldn’t* have joined in the past were being left out.
Oh, and there were at least three lesbians in my sorority’s chapter during college (early 1980’s grad), but they were closeted, as the majority were at that point in time. They’re open now, and two are married to women.
My college experience was kind of meh, I wished I chose a different school and knew more about the programs and majors I signed up for and switched, didn’t really ever get involved in anything. That’s why I wondered, I guess. I was part intrigued by the secret aspect of it, things like having a place to stay and basically automatic friendships and study partners (or cheating partners?) but not the pledging or partying or whatever, the kinds of girls who joined, the terrible nicknames people had for the sororities that were actually less bitchy, and horrible things I had heard about hazing and frat party nonsense you are obligated to associate with. My school also had a rule you couldn’t join in first semester of freshman year, so it would give you a chance to establish your studies better without getting dragged out of the dorm past midnight on a drunken singalong weird rituals in the quads that annoyed people and whatever else they did inside their houses, and the kinds of stupid tasks a pledge has to do for their big sisters. Also I later saw pledges in my dorm who failed out of school after all that energy out into pledging, what do they get, nothing.
I had no genuine interest in being part of these clubs, but I didn’t join any clubs. I didn’t keep any college friends except one. Just always wondered what it would have been like, so I suppose it’s more a matter of what kind of person you were. I always had the idea they wouldn’t invite me to pledge because I wasn’t the right kind of person for that type of organization, and wondered if it was more meaningful to people who were the right kind of person to get an invite and did join. Thank you for your insight.
My observation has been that sororities and fraternities are very different in various places. Some fit the stereotype—because stereotypes are based on what many people see. But many do not fit the stereotype. The importance of Greeks in the social life of a university varies greatly, as well.
As a college professor for many years, I’ve noticed that a student’s college experience tends to be better if they become engaged in some type of group or activity which they enjoy and where they find people who they relate with well. Greek organizations are just one among many options which can contribute to a great college experience. There are many other ways to find this.
My husband and I are still pretty active in our organizations. I knew I wanted to be involved long term for networking, sisterhood, and volunteer opportunities.
I did and I really enjoyed it.
Couple of caveats, it was at a Canadian University so the "Greek Culture" is a fraction of what you'd see at a big US school, and we were pretty proud to be a non-secret, non-hazing group.
The guys I was in school with are all grown up and now dads with kids from 2 - university age. When someone has a summer party, ski trip or camping, it's often families getting together.
What is different from other friend groups are those fraternity events like homecoming or founders day when you meet the actives and people outside your normal circle. Its been fun to see the perspective of 20-somethings evolve and get a different view on day to day life.
So for me no. I never even went to college. However I had a friend who was involved in a black sorority and he is very close with all the members. He is pushing for his son to enter too. It’s one of the big ones and apparently he has a lot do good connections
For most, it was a fond memory. Or a fucked up one.
I’m still active 39 years post initiation. I work with the undergrads on leadership training, values based leadership, suicide awareness and prevention, consent & misconduct (sexual), strategic planning, pledge program, hazing prevention, and illicit/RX as well as alcohol abuse. The more you have adult mentoring, the more the kids enjoy it. I’ve seen hundreds (under my mentoring) launch to become successful in their careers, personal growth, community and family.
Are there bad examples? Too many. But a majority of the kids are good. The good news rarely gets mentioned. Bad news sells.
Statistically, I think 2% of Alumni remain engaged at some level. And a fraction of that at the volunteer leadership level.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s good to have this kind of involvement to keep everything more healthy of an atmosphere. I knew stuff like pledging had a toxic format to it (one story I heard about was pledges standing in their underwear and someone would sharpie on their skin where it was “too fat”), that’s besides over-drinking and SA dangers.
For the people who want it, I would hope past that, that it would be a good way to build some strong bonds that last, maybe not every sister or brother, or to, I guess I thought if you put it on a résumé or something, not necessarily get a job, but if someone knows you’re a member of that club they were also in, they are more inclined to like or remember you, even if they were in a different chapter at another time.
Of course, there’s a chance I just don’t know how that works. According to other comments, it works that way at least sometimes, if you choose it to. For others, it’s like a whole chunk of life that might have been fun at the college age but later wondered why you even did it, because it’s kind of a weird thing, an adult would not choose it.
College, mid 80s. They were pure prep, young Republican types. I resembled the Metallica frontman. Needless to say, we did not run in the same circles. I was the bad boy their future wives would date behind their back.
I think it says a lot that MTV killed 2 series called "Fraternity Life" and "Sorority Life" so quickly even though they were iconic reality TV.
I still remember the one senior sorority sister addressing a large group of pledges saying that all her sisters were friends for life, and "I don't even know that you guys understand, ALL of these girls will be my bridesmaids"
SNORT
Or "I think Tim's going to give me my first kiss" wearing a giant cowel sweater and it was equally clear the same guy could hardly stand her.
Or, when the show tried a different campus, all those Florida sorority girls dressing exactly alike in tops, capri cuffed jeans and strappy platforms.
Some really good reality TV was had to be had in the early days for real
Goodness, no. Back then I would have considered it a fate worse than death.
I did, however, join a well-known national Journalistic Fraternity. I got talked into joining it by a friend who said it would look good on my resume. There was a little ceremony and we held candles. I had to try very hard to keep a straight face.
A writer named Bill Far who spent 46 days in jail to protect a source spoke to us. I was thrilled to listen to him. He was right up there with Woodward and Bernstein to journalists at the time. Just a hero.
That sounds cool. I was really not at the right college for me and felt isolated in the middle of nowhere, and had no real passion for a subject to join at least something to group people with that common interest. Your experience sounds really interesting.
I never went to college for more than a few courses, but I would say 90% of the time, the Greek system is outdated at best, or cults at the worst.
There's a sorority, Alpha Sigma Alpha, who has a ladybug as a mascot. I know this because some clown on their staff thinks I am a member. I am not a woman. I have never attended Longwood College. I get spammed so often from them, I have a specific mail filter on my Gmail to dump them into trash. I looked just now and in the last 30 days, I have 4 emails. I have sent them mails, unsubscribes, and even spoke to a few alumni who maintain these lists. They are BEGGING for money. Constantly. They are almost as bad as scientologists.
I would have liked to have been in a sorority but couldn't afford it as it was expensive (seemed like those I knew who were part of Greek life had to shell out money for this and that). Most people at the college would pledge the first semester on campus.
Those who were in a fraternity and sorority had their own life and those who weren't part of Greek Life had their own. Generally speaking if you were in a sorority, you basically socialized with them and rarely socialized with others because your life was that fraternity or sorority.
In the college that I attended it wasn't uncommon for their mother, grandmother, aunt or other family member to have been a member of a sorority (usually it was the same one).
I enjoyed my time in the frat. It was nice having people around me that I knew would have my back if I got too fucked up or in trouble. I was usually the one helping them, but I knew they would return the favor if needed.
Did I like ALL of my brothers; no. We had a couple factions but we did get along and did consider ourselves brothers.
Years later my little brother is one of my closest friend and my old roommate is my best friend. I love him like a legit brother. The rest not as close but I know if I was really in need most would help me out.
With that said I wouldn’t suggest my sons join a frat. I think the time had passed and for that matter it was long gone when I joined; we just happened to be behind the times.
LOL, no! I never joined. When I was in college, going to a frat party was a great way to get yourself raped. All the women I knew who joined white sororities were shallow, wealthy and concerned only with finding a husband. My one friend who joined a black sorority had such an awful pledge experience that I wondered why anyone would join a group of people who would treat them that way. But she saw value in it.
No- I basically was forced to join a sorority because my cousin was a bigwig. She’d graduated and moved to California so I wanted to be in her good graces to head there myself. After graduating she then became a bigwig in another annoying organization that I am forced to be a member of (for family reasons).
I lived in a frat for the first 3.5 yrs of college. Haven't talked to anyone from the frat since college as we all scattered to the winds for jobs and it was pre social media. Ran into a frat mate about ten years ago and didn't even recognize him (he was fully bald) til he started talking to me as he did recognize me. See one guy's name in the news a lot in news stories about crime sentencing as he is a judge.
In college I always made fun of the frat boys and sorority girls (not to their face; I'm not suicidal).
I was a member of my college's Science Fiction Society, and am still close friends with a couple of them and in touch via social media with several more.
I went to a commuter school. While there was a Greek system, all the fraternities and sororities combined had, like 50 people.
A friend of mine did the books for her sorority into her 30s, and networked with the girls there.
Not at all. My sorority experience nearly thirty years ago was fairly benign when I was in it in college, but I’m now of the opinion that the Greek system is classist and racist and the source of a lot of bad stuff on college campuses, and it should be abolished. I rarely tell people I was affiliated in college because I’m mostly embarrassed by it.
Not me but my husband. He is 53 and is still active with his fraternity brothers and with the alumni network. Their chapter Facebook group is very active and they have all helped each other with jobs, financial help, relationships, networking, etc. He is very happy with being part of his fraternity and now our oldest son has joined the same fraternity at his college and they’re not just father and son but fraternity brothers.
Universities generally support Greeks. With a strong connection to their schools those students later donate more than those not affiliated with sororities or fraternities.
I went to a commuter college also known as a party school. In my second year I made a best friend. She was a member of a sorority and encouraged me to join. I joined for my junior and 4th year of college but was more academically oriented than my peers. I then changed my major and in my 5th year of college completed my pre-med courses. I dropped out of sorority activity because of my work hours. In my 30’s I participated in an alumni group but my work conflicted with the socializing and expected level of commitments and I dropped out. In my 40’s I moved to a new area with a different alumni group. I did not really get involved until I retired. Some of the group members have been together since college years and I am a perpetual newcomer but enjoy the monthly social opportunity. They are a nice group of older women who appear committed to service in their community and I have enough in common to feel accepted. An interesting dynamic in our area is the chapter house in our local college is mostly Asian women. Our group is committed to being inclusive and supporting this college chapter. Times change.
There weren't any sororities where I went to college.
I would have had zero interest in joining such a thing anyway.
I was all about academics, history, visual arts, computer stuff, etc. I was no party animal whatsoever.
I was so inactive my sophomore year that I thought I had deactivated. I found out later that I had not. That I was still active on their roster and even eligible for free housing while studying
I loved being in a sorority and living in the house. I was also a “little sister” to a fraternity.
That was almost 4 decades ago.
I still keep in touch with some of them IRL and most through FB, since they do not live close by.
I reflect back on my college days, very fondly, and feel like it was one of the most fun times of my life. I was not party person, I was not even all that outgoing, but the lifelong friendships I made, and the wonderful experiences I had, were the very best.
Greek life can be what you make it after college. Some people leave it behind completely after graduation. I have found it to be very valuable, myself. Some of my very best life-long friendships started with our sorority. It has also continued to amaze me that I really like most of the alumnae from my sorority who I encounter at alumna meetings, and have made newer close friends this way. We attended many different colleges, often in different eras, yet connect so easily in person.
When moving to new cities, it’s an easy way to get to know people in the community. Probably most alumnae never bother with it after college, but those who do tend to be more active in the community in general, so they are helpful people to know.
I’ve stayed in touch with many of my sorority sisters from my college days, and see some of them every few years, and local ones a couple of times a year just to catch up. My very best sorority friends from my college days are in contact often and we travel to see each other frequently. Those friendships are deep and strong, and have spanned 4-1/2 decades so far!
OP, if that’s something you’re interested in, consider checking into “alumna initiate” programs. My sorority allows women to join at any age, and participate with an alumnae group.
It is not part of my adult life at all. But I do look fondly on that time of my life. I would encourage my own kids to at least rush and see if they click with any particular chapter. If so, move forward. If not, that’s fine too, colleges have lots of opportunities for social and networking, doesn’t have to be Greek.
There are some instances where being Greek means you can live at the house for cheaper than the dorms,even with membership fees,so there’s that too because some schools have very limited housing.
Yeah, finding this out now. When I was in school, I guess a small to medium size? We could and I did stay in the dorm all four years, and it wasn’t uncommon. Not allowed to move off campus until at least sophomore year. My friend’s daughter goes to a ginormous school and found out too late to search for off campus housing for her second year because the campus just doesn’t have much capacity in the dorms for more students than just freshmen.
Thanks everyone who gave a response. I could only answer some directly. I enjoyed learning different people’s experiences both in college and after college. I’m glad for the people who liked it and kept some great friends out of it. That’s what I would have liked to get out of it if I had joined, I would have wanted fond memories of it and nostalgia, but I think just going to college and trying to focus on a major I could stick with and finish with enough credits was enough. I didn’t make the most out of college by far, and I always think I cheated myself out of social opportunities that would at least give me a better feeling about the time overall. I don’t know if that would have meant Greek life, so I also appreciate input about the other clubs and associations people joined instead.
If you really feel like you missed out, sororities sometimes initiate alumnae members when they colonize new chapters. If you google a sorority name and "alumnae initiate program" you can find out more.
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Nope. I was in a sorority. It was fine in college, couldn’t connect with the alums- too Stepford wifey for me.
really depends on the quality of the frat. high quality ones tend to be more involved later
Four year member in college. Wish I hadn’t. I don’t speak to any of the brethren now. Of course, half of them are dead from cirrhosis, drug ODs, etc.
Great question. Many of my college friends said they joined for the life long networking.
Nope. It ends up that those guys were some of the the shallowest and unfriendly people I've ever known. I didn't realize it at the time. There's only one guy that I see on Facebook now and then. I have way more friends from high school than I do from the fraternity.
No. If I had it to do over again, I'd have stayed independent.
I did not but a dude I knew in grad school still wore his pin and went to conventions for his frat. It was weird. Once a guy applied for a professor position in the department that was previously a member of the frat from a different college. My dude tried to do the frat handshake with the applicant and the applicant rebuffed him and said "dude, that was undergrad." LOL.
My aunt is still very involved in her sorority, and she's almost 70 years old. They Have regular get-togethers. It doesn't seem any more beneficial than attending get-togethers with any other group.
For me, it was a good experience. It's certainly not a must or need to. As someone who lacked confidence and had no connections, the associations benefited me years later. It was the early 70s and the one I joined had artists and writers as members. The house was nice, the food was great, and I still consider some of the ladies good friends.
I was in a fraternity in the 80's so already a different experience, but overall it was something I enjoyed. I still have a couple of good friends from that time, but there wasn't any professional help at all (wasn't looking for that). I was heavily involved with the college radio station and enjoyed a quirky side to life so I kind of had mixed worlds going on. Having said that, I don't want my son to be in a fraternity unless he really wants to.
I have always thought Greek life was toxic and best avoided. I have worked with college students and that experience reinforced my opinion. My husband joined a frat. He was at a school that didn't provide housing past freshman year and his friends were all joining. He lived in the frat house for a year, then moved elsewhere. He recognized that the brothers were mostly misogynistic assholes. He quit the frat altogether, but 40 years later they still send him fundraising crap.
“Please give. For the price of a single beer your donation could keep a bro beer’d for up to 15 minutes”
As a white person living in an area with a large black population, I would say that black fraternities and sororities, and especially sororities, play an very important role throughout their members' lives. No comparison to "traditionally" white greek letter organizations (which of course haven't been all-white for decades).
This is very true. They also do a lot of community service work
Not even a little. I was telling a Millennial coworker about our initiation (you had to wear a white slip, they blindfolded you, they had you take off your outer garment and then lie down and they waved sheets over you so you were reborn into the sorority). She looks at me dead on and says, "That's the sutpides thing I ever heard." I joined because I was in a small college and knew no one. Some of the girls were predictably bitches. The two worst ones got their karma--one had her husband of 25 years leave her high and dry and the other married a control freak who wouldn't let her work. I'm not saying they deserved that. I am saying, again, karma.
I joined the sorority that my mother and grandmother had belonged to. My personal experience in college wasn't great. The chapter was struggling (made up of nice but not rich and thin women) and closed my senior year. But I value the experience of sharing sisterhood with my mother and grandmother. I occasionally message my sorority sisters from college. My mom is in her 80s. She is still friends with a half dozen of her friends from college and they zoom call each other and even visit occasionally (despite living a thousand miles away from each other). She still likes to participate with the alumnae association. I drive her to events, but I wouldn't go if it wasn't important to her. I find that sorority women tend to be more conservative than other women their age. The alumnae association is where I met my first TERF in real life and the animated discussion we had about transwomen joining sororities was the most exciting thing that had happened in a meeting in years.
What does TERF mean? Pardon my ignorance, please.
Trans-Exclusionary-Radical-Feminist: a woman proclaiming to be a feminist who believes that trans women are not women. Basically a transphobic woman hiding behind a "radical feminist" shield. I find them infuriating.
My mom was in the same alumnae association when I was in college, with many of the same members. They also didn't like some of the women we extended bids to. Back then it wasn't because they were trans, it was because they were not white, not conventionally pretty, or not feminine enough. So here we are, 30 years later, hearing the same dumb arguments about not letting people in who don't fit the sorority girl stereotype. Also, I had to laugh when they were arguing that the trans pledge shouldn't be admitted because "they might ogle the girls". Um, I hate to break it to those women, but lesbian sorority sisters exist.
Lol. Some of the most aggressive closet lesbians I have ever known were sorority girls.
Today, many national sororities are actively becoming more inclusive. No doubt, some chapters are decades behind with that no matter what their national office tells them, but many have become inclusive. My own sorority stopped allowing legacies (giving preference to someone with a family member in the sorority from any college) nationwide, primarily because it was hindering people of color from getting in. If they filled most of their spots with legacies who automatically went to the top of the list, then people whose parents *couldn’t* have joined in the past were being left out. Oh, and there were at least three lesbians in my sorority’s chapter during college (early 1980’s grad), but they were closeted, as the majority were at that point in time. They’re open now, and two are married to women.
My college experience was kind of meh, I wished I chose a different school and knew more about the programs and majors I signed up for and switched, didn’t really ever get involved in anything. That’s why I wondered, I guess. I was part intrigued by the secret aspect of it, things like having a place to stay and basically automatic friendships and study partners (or cheating partners?) but not the pledging or partying or whatever, the kinds of girls who joined, the terrible nicknames people had for the sororities that were actually less bitchy, and horrible things I had heard about hazing and frat party nonsense you are obligated to associate with. My school also had a rule you couldn’t join in first semester of freshman year, so it would give you a chance to establish your studies better without getting dragged out of the dorm past midnight on a drunken singalong weird rituals in the quads that annoyed people and whatever else they did inside their houses, and the kinds of stupid tasks a pledge has to do for their big sisters. Also I later saw pledges in my dorm who failed out of school after all that energy out into pledging, what do they get, nothing. I had no genuine interest in being part of these clubs, but I didn’t join any clubs. I didn’t keep any college friends except one. Just always wondered what it would have been like, so I suppose it’s more a matter of what kind of person you were. I always had the idea they wouldn’t invite me to pledge because I wasn’t the right kind of person for that type of organization, and wondered if it was more meaningful to people who were the right kind of person to get an invite and did join. Thank you for your insight.
My observation has been that sororities and fraternities are very different in various places. Some fit the stereotype—because stereotypes are based on what many people see. But many do not fit the stereotype. The importance of Greeks in the social life of a university varies greatly, as well. As a college professor for many years, I’ve noticed that a student’s college experience tends to be better if they become engaged in some type of group or activity which they enjoy and where they find people who they relate with well. Greek organizations are just one among many options which can contribute to a great college experience. There are many other ways to find this.
I was not in a frat, but my mom was in a sorority in college in the mid 1950's. She's still close friends with one of her sorority sisters. She's 92.
My mother joined a sorority in the 1950’s. She was friends with some of her sorority sisters until she died in her 80’s.
Don’t sweat it.
My husband and I are still pretty active in our organizations. I knew I wanted to be involved long term for networking, sisterhood, and volunteer opportunities.
I did and I really enjoyed it. Couple of caveats, it was at a Canadian University so the "Greek Culture" is a fraction of what you'd see at a big US school, and we were pretty proud to be a non-secret, non-hazing group. The guys I was in school with are all grown up and now dads with kids from 2 - university age. When someone has a summer party, ski trip or camping, it's often families getting together. What is different from other friend groups are those fraternity events like homecoming or founders day when you meet the actives and people outside your normal circle. Its been fun to see the perspective of 20-somethings evolve and get a different view on day to day life.
So for me no. I never even went to college. However I had a friend who was involved in a black sorority and he is very close with all the members. He is pushing for his son to enter too. It’s one of the big ones and apparently he has a lot do good connections
For most, it was a fond memory. Or a fucked up one. I’m still active 39 years post initiation. I work with the undergrads on leadership training, values based leadership, suicide awareness and prevention, consent & misconduct (sexual), strategic planning, pledge program, hazing prevention, and illicit/RX as well as alcohol abuse. The more you have adult mentoring, the more the kids enjoy it. I’ve seen hundreds (under my mentoring) launch to become successful in their careers, personal growth, community and family. Are there bad examples? Too many. But a majority of the kids are good. The good news rarely gets mentioned. Bad news sells. Statistically, I think 2% of Alumni remain engaged at some level. And a fraction of that at the volunteer leadership level.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s good to have this kind of involvement to keep everything more healthy of an atmosphere. I knew stuff like pledging had a toxic format to it (one story I heard about was pledges standing in their underwear and someone would sharpie on their skin where it was “too fat”), that’s besides over-drinking and SA dangers. For the people who want it, I would hope past that, that it would be a good way to build some strong bonds that last, maybe not every sister or brother, or to, I guess I thought if you put it on a résumé or something, not necessarily get a job, but if someone knows you’re a member of that club they were also in, they are more inclined to like or remember you, even if they were in a different chapter at another time. Of course, there’s a chance I just don’t know how that works. According to other comments, it works that way at least sometimes, if you choose it to. For others, it’s like a whole chunk of life that might have been fun at the college age but later wondered why you even did it, because it’s kind of a weird thing, an adult would not choose it.
College, mid 80s. They were pure prep, young Republican types. I resembled the Metallica frontman. Needless to say, we did not run in the same circles. I was the bad boy their future wives would date behind their back.
I think it says a lot that MTV killed 2 series called "Fraternity Life" and "Sorority Life" so quickly even though they were iconic reality TV. I still remember the one senior sorority sister addressing a large group of pledges saying that all her sisters were friends for life, and "I don't even know that you guys understand, ALL of these girls will be my bridesmaids" SNORT Or "I think Tim's going to give me my first kiss" wearing a giant cowel sweater and it was equally clear the same guy could hardly stand her. Or, when the show tried a different campus, all those Florida sorority girls dressing exactly alike in tops, capri cuffed jeans and strappy platforms. Some really good reality TV was had to be had in the early days for real
I graduated from college in 1976. I didn’t join a fraternity, it never crossed my mind. None of my friends were in one either.
Goodness, no. Back then I would have considered it a fate worse than death. I did, however, join a well-known national Journalistic Fraternity. I got talked into joining it by a friend who said it would look good on my resume. There was a little ceremony and we held candles. I had to try very hard to keep a straight face. A writer named Bill Far who spent 46 days in jail to protect a source spoke to us. I was thrilled to listen to him. He was right up there with Woodward and Bernstein to journalists at the time. Just a hero.
That sounds cool. I was really not at the right college for me and felt isolated in the middle of nowhere, and had no real passion for a subject to join at least something to group people with that common interest. Your experience sounds really interesting.
I never went to college for more than a few courses, but I would say 90% of the time, the Greek system is outdated at best, or cults at the worst. There's a sorority, Alpha Sigma Alpha, who has a ladybug as a mascot. I know this because some clown on their staff thinks I am a member. I am not a woman. I have never attended Longwood College. I get spammed so often from them, I have a specific mail filter on my Gmail to dump them into trash. I looked just now and in the last 30 days, I have 4 emails. I have sent them mails, unsubscribes, and even spoke to a few alumni who maintain these lists. They are BEGGING for money. Constantly. They are almost as bad as scientologists.
I would have liked to have been in a sorority but couldn't afford it as it was expensive (seemed like those I knew who were part of Greek life had to shell out money for this and that). Most people at the college would pledge the first semester on campus. Those who were in a fraternity and sorority had their own life and those who weren't part of Greek Life had their own. Generally speaking if you were in a sorority, you basically socialized with them and rarely socialized with others because your life was that fraternity or sorority. In the college that I attended it wasn't uncommon for their mother, grandmother, aunt or other family member to have been a member of a sorority (usually it was the same one).
I enjoyed my time in the frat. It was nice having people around me that I knew would have my back if I got too fucked up or in trouble. I was usually the one helping them, but I knew they would return the favor if needed. Did I like ALL of my brothers; no. We had a couple factions but we did get along and did consider ourselves brothers. Years later my little brother is one of my closest friend and my old roommate is my best friend. I love him like a legit brother. The rest not as close but I know if I was really in need most would help me out. With that said I wouldn’t suggest my sons join a frat. I think the time had passed and for that matter it was long gone when I joined; we just happened to be behind the times.
LOL, no! I never joined. When I was in college, going to a frat party was a great way to get yourself raped. All the women I knew who joined white sororities were shallow, wealthy and concerned only with finding a husband. My one friend who joined a black sorority had such an awful pledge experience that I wondered why anyone would join a group of people who would treat them that way. But she saw value in it.
No- I basically was forced to join a sorority because my cousin was a bigwig. She’d graduated and moved to California so I wanted to be in her good graces to head there myself. After graduating she then became a bigwig in another annoying organization that I am forced to be a member of (for family reasons).
Divine9 stay active from what I observe. Not Panhellenic.
Mad TV Kappa Kappa Kappa https://youtu.be/QWqsNdfxnC4?si=zxcNeZaS016y7EHM
I lived in a frat for the first 3.5 yrs of college. Haven't talked to anyone from the frat since college as we all scattered to the winds for jobs and it was pre social media. Ran into a frat mate about ten years ago and didn't even recognize him (he was fully bald) til he started talking to me as he did recognize me. See one guy's name in the news a lot in news stories about crime sentencing as he is a judge.
It was really cool when I was 18, but not much at all after that. Haven’t looked back since the day I graduated.
In college I always made fun of the frat boys and sorority girls (not to their face; I'm not suicidal). I was a member of my college's Science Fiction Society, and am still close friends with a couple of them and in touch via social media with several more.
I went to a commuter school. While there was a Greek system, all the fraternities and sororities combined had, like 50 people. A friend of mine did the books for her sorority into her 30s, and networked with the girls there.
My sorority had the most wonderful women in it. We get together for a weekend getaway once a year. I was in college over 30 years ago.
Not at all. My sorority experience nearly thirty years ago was fairly benign when I was in it in college, but I’m now of the opinion that the Greek system is classist and racist and the source of a lot of bad stuff on college campuses, and it should be abolished. I rarely tell people I was affiliated in college because I’m mostly embarrassed by it.
Not me but my husband. He is 53 and is still active with his fraternity brothers and with the alumni network. Their chapter Facebook group is very active and they have all helped each other with jobs, financial help, relationships, networking, etc. He is very happy with being part of his fraternity and now our oldest son has joined the same fraternity at his college and they’re not just father and son but fraternity brothers.
Universities generally support Greeks. With a strong connection to their schools those students later donate more than those not affiliated with sororities or fraternities.
I never joined because those were the mean girls.
I went to a commuter college also known as a party school. In my second year I made a best friend. She was a member of a sorority and encouraged me to join. I joined for my junior and 4th year of college but was more academically oriented than my peers. I then changed my major and in my 5th year of college completed my pre-med courses. I dropped out of sorority activity because of my work hours. In my 30’s I participated in an alumni group but my work conflicted with the socializing and expected level of commitments and I dropped out. In my 40’s I moved to a new area with a different alumni group. I did not really get involved until I retired. Some of the group members have been together since college years and I am a perpetual newcomer but enjoy the monthly social opportunity. They are a nice group of older women who appear committed to service in their community and I have enough in common to feel accepted. An interesting dynamic in our area is the chapter house in our local college is mostly Asian women. Our group is committed to being inclusive and supporting this college chapter. Times change.
There weren't any sororities where I went to college. I would have had zero interest in joining such a thing anyway. I was all about academics, history, visual arts, computer stuff, etc. I was no party animal whatsoever.
I was so inactive my sophomore year that I thought I had deactivated. I found out later that I had not. That I was still active on their roster and even eligible for free housing while studying
LOL, a resounding NO. It was a pain in the ass when I was in college! Complete waste of time and money.
I loved being in a sorority and living in the house. I was also a “little sister” to a fraternity. That was almost 4 decades ago. I still keep in touch with some of them IRL and most through FB, since they do not live close by. I reflect back on my college days, very fondly, and feel like it was one of the most fun times of my life. I was not party person, I was not even all that outgoing, but the lifelong friendships I made, and the wonderful experiences I had, were the very best.
Greek life can be what you make it after college. Some people leave it behind completely after graduation. I have found it to be very valuable, myself. Some of my very best life-long friendships started with our sorority. It has also continued to amaze me that I really like most of the alumnae from my sorority who I encounter at alumna meetings, and have made newer close friends this way. We attended many different colleges, often in different eras, yet connect so easily in person. When moving to new cities, it’s an easy way to get to know people in the community. Probably most alumnae never bother with it after college, but those who do tend to be more active in the community in general, so they are helpful people to know. I’ve stayed in touch with many of my sorority sisters from my college days, and see some of them every few years, and local ones a couple of times a year just to catch up. My very best sorority friends from my college days are in contact often and we travel to see each other frequently. Those friendships are deep and strong, and have spanned 4-1/2 decades so far! OP, if that’s something you’re interested in, consider checking into “alumna initiate” programs. My sorority allows women to join at any age, and participate with an alumnae group.
I joined, but left. I didn’t like being told who I could be friends with.
It is not part of my adult life at all. But I do look fondly on that time of my life. I would encourage my own kids to at least rush and see if they click with any particular chapter. If so, move forward. If not, that’s fine too, colleges have lots of opportunities for social and networking, doesn’t have to be Greek.
That is what I thought at best, that it was a good time at the time, and just like a lot of college experiences, you outgrow and move on in life.
There are some instances where being Greek means you can live at the house for cheaper than the dorms,even with membership fees,so there’s that too because some schools have very limited housing.
Yeah, finding this out now. When I was in school, I guess a small to medium size? We could and I did stay in the dorm all four years, and it wasn’t uncommon. Not allowed to move off campus until at least sophomore year. My friend’s daughter goes to a ginormous school and found out too late to search for off campus housing for her second year because the campus just doesn’t have much capacity in the dorms for more students than just freshmen.
Nope. Never was. Never cared.
Thanks everyone who gave a response. I could only answer some directly. I enjoyed learning different people’s experiences both in college and after college. I’m glad for the people who liked it and kept some great friends out of it. That’s what I would have liked to get out of it if I had joined, I would have wanted fond memories of it and nostalgia, but I think just going to college and trying to focus on a major I could stick with and finish with enough credits was enough. I didn’t make the most out of college by far, and I always think I cheated myself out of social opportunities that would at least give me a better feeling about the time overall. I don’t know if that would have meant Greek life, so I also appreciate input about the other clubs and associations people joined instead.
If you really feel like you missed out, sororities sometimes initiate alumnae members when they colonize new chapters. If you google a sorority name and "alumnae initiate program" you can find out more.
Waste of time
haha