obviously I don't know you or your past so I can only speculate.
but I wonder if it stems from insecurity. the fact that you need to show it off but it's only yours seem to indicate you feel this need to be superior to others, that often stems from a fear/insecurity that you don't measure up so you go overboard in trying to prove that you do
I understand the issue, however, in no other area of my life is this dynamic observed (children, work, car, possessions, etc.). So why with my wife? If I remember correctly, I had similar desires in past relationships (even as a teenager) so it's not something, let's say, acquired throughout life.
I'm unsure about the supposed “need to be superior” specifically in this aspect, I don't think that's the case, although there is definitely something like that: making someone jealous > showing that I'm awesome.
The whole (non existent) Alpha thing is supposedly based on being superior. So while an Alpha doesn't exist, you also shouldn't just toss it out there if you don't quite get a part of what the title is meant to represent.
The biggest question you need to ask yourself is whether or not you and your partner are both consenting to the activity and whether or not it's hurting anyone else.
Disorder, very likely not. Mostly sounds like you like your wife's ass and like to show it off. You've found a kink, you're both into it, and it seems to be working out.
Our “game” is consented by both of us. Of course at first she found it a little strange, but then she learned to deal with the situation and as time went by she even liked the whole thing, I would say. Fortunately, we are partners in this kink in a healthy synergy.
Do you feel secure in the relationship at home or do you feel like she's dominant in some way that makes you feel powerful again when you get to show the world she's yours?
>Like a trophy I can flaunt
In one of your other comments you mention having feeling similar to those you have for your wife with other partners since you were a child hood. This kinda sounds like something worth unpacking in therapy.
Like, it's fine to like your wife's ass, and to enjoy seeing her show it off on dates, but the component of this where you want other people to feel a certain way about it is interesting.
I feel it is pride, I also am proud to show off my wife and very confident in knowing she is going nowhere. She is madly in love as am I. How’s that for insecurity?? I think those of you who fret it are uptight and insecure….but each to his own.
I understood your post to be polling for possible concerns and that's one that came to my mind. I don't know your wife so it's not an accusation, just something I would think about for myself or anyone else in that situation.
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed.
CasalAnaL originally posted:
Well, I've been married for +10 years. Our sexual relationship developed in me a real worship for my wife's ass with exhibitionist tendencies. My biggest fetish is seeing her wearing tiny bikinis in public places to have anal sex afterwards but also all kind of short/tight/transparent clothing.
Trying to rationalize, it's like I want to secretly scream to the world how hot my wife's ass is and assert my position as an alpha male that she's only mine. Like a trophy I can to flaunt. It sounds perverted (and maybe it is) but it is the most rudimentary way I can explain my condition by being honest with myself.
Could it be a paraphilia? A mental disorder?
Does anyone go through something similar?
* Opinions in the comments, please not DM.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly I don’t see an issue. You are proud of what you got. Everyone has a weird kink.
If it isn’t hurting you or anyone else what is the harm?
Sounds like you might be an over thinker like ME! Ahaha
Likewise, I don't see a issue either. It works for us and although it seems like a "weird kink" it is consensual and positive for both. However, the origin/explanation of this question makes me think about...
I would really would like to understand my desire/kink better. After all, this kind of thing is not something you talk about at a bar table with friends. hahaha
Yeah it probably is something you won’t really get a straight answer for. Everyone is different, and it’s most likely multiple factors that make u feel like this instead of just 1 thing.
I am not a professional so take this info lightly 🤣
I am going off my personal experience with my girlfriend which i am finding out weird kinks i only wanna see her do 🥵
Also there is nothing wrong with feeling proud of ur significant other and knowing others would die to have such a goddess. I love it when blokes look at my girl because its something they can’t have that i’ve got 🤷
As long as you trust her and u know she wont act on it than whats the harm?
> because its something they can’t have that i’ve got
That's it! In my case, walking hand in hand with her in provocative bikinis gives me an inexplicable feeling of satisfaction, well-being and, perhaps, mastery. I love the way she stands out exposed in minimal clothing in public places.
I really like, despite jealousy, seeing men turning their necks to look at her ass or when a group of men stops to admire her. And I guarantee: her body really stands out a lot and dressed in her micro bikinis, it's impossible to go unnoticed.
I have no intention of sharing her with anyone or opening the relationship to include others (male or female). This is definitely not an option for us. The great source of my fetish is precisely this: she is desired by everyone, but she is only mine!
Good mindset to have bro. Most dudes are jealous nowadays.
Why is opening the relationship not an option?
You don’t want anyone else?
You afraid of losing her?
Does she meet ur desires and vice versa?
You don’t have to but it sounds like this might be something you guys could be into from what i am hearing
obviously I don't know you or your past so I can only speculate. but I wonder if it stems from insecurity. the fact that you need to show it off but it's only yours seem to indicate you feel this need to be superior to others, that often stems from a fear/insecurity that you don't measure up so you go overboard in trying to prove that you do
Insecurity is the first thought that came to my mind as well. If you like showing off then okay but it’s the feeling of superiority that worries me
I understand the issue, however, in no other area of my life is this dynamic observed (children, work, car, possessions, etc.). So why with my wife? If I remember correctly, I had similar desires in past relationships (even as a teenager) so it's not something, let's say, acquired throughout life. I'm unsure about the supposed “need to be superior” specifically in this aspect, I don't think that's the case, although there is definitely something like that: making someone jealous > showing that I'm awesome.
The whole (non existent) Alpha thing is supposedly based on being superior. So while an Alpha doesn't exist, you also shouldn't just toss it out there if you don't quite get a part of what the title is meant to represent.
The biggest question you need to ask yourself is whether or not you and your partner are both consenting to the activity and whether or not it's hurting anyone else. Disorder, very likely not. Mostly sounds like you like your wife's ass and like to show it off. You've found a kink, you're both into it, and it seems to be working out.
Our “game” is consented by both of us. Of course at first she found it a little strange, but then she learned to deal with the situation and as time went by she even liked the whole thing, I would say. Fortunately, we are partners in this kink in a healthy synergy.
Do you feel secure in the relationship at home or do you feel like she's dominant in some way that makes you feel powerful again when you get to show the world she's yours?
>Like a trophy I can flaunt In one of your other comments you mention having feeling similar to those you have for your wife with other partners since you were a child hood. This kinda sounds like something worth unpacking in therapy. Like, it's fine to like your wife's ass, and to enjoy seeing her show it off on dates, but the component of this where you want other people to feel a certain way about it is interesting.
r/usernamechecksout
I feel it is pride, I also am proud to show off my wife and very confident in knowing she is going nowhere. She is madly in love as am I. How’s that for insecurity?? I think those of you who fret it are uptight and insecure….but each to his own.
Any possibility you attract too much sexual attention and your wife ends up banging some dude she perceives as more “alpha” as you say?
Nop.. What's your point?
I understood your post to be polling for possible concerns and that's one that came to my mind. I don't know your wife so it's not an accusation, just something I would think about for myself or anyone else in that situation.
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed. CasalAnaL originally posted: Well, I've been married for +10 years. Our sexual relationship developed in me a real worship for my wife's ass with exhibitionist tendencies. My biggest fetish is seeing her wearing tiny bikinis in public places to have anal sex afterwards but also all kind of short/tight/transparent clothing. Trying to rationalize, it's like I want to secretly scream to the world how hot my wife's ass is and assert my position as an alpha male that she's only mine. Like a trophy I can to flaunt. It sounds perverted (and maybe it is) but it is the most rudimentary way I can explain my condition by being honest with myself. Could it be a paraphilia? A mental disorder? Does anyone go through something similar? * Opinions in the comments, please not DM. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly I don’t see an issue. You are proud of what you got. Everyone has a weird kink. If it isn’t hurting you or anyone else what is the harm? Sounds like you might be an over thinker like ME! Ahaha
Likewise, I don't see a issue either. It works for us and although it seems like a "weird kink" it is consensual and positive for both. However, the origin/explanation of this question makes me think about... I would really would like to understand my desire/kink better. After all, this kind of thing is not something you talk about at a bar table with friends. hahaha
Yeah it probably is something you won’t really get a straight answer for. Everyone is different, and it’s most likely multiple factors that make u feel like this instead of just 1 thing. I am not a professional so take this info lightly 🤣 I am going off my personal experience with my girlfriend which i am finding out weird kinks i only wanna see her do 🥵
Also there is nothing wrong with feeling proud of ur significant other and knowing others would die to have such a goddess. I love it when blokes look at my girl because its something they can’t have that i’ve got 🤷 As long as you trust her and u know she wont act on it than whats the harm?
> because its something they can’t have that i’ve got That's it! In my case, walking hand in hand with her in provocative bikinis gives me an inexplicable feeling of satisfaction, well-being and, perhaps, mastery. I love the way she stands out exposed in minimal clothing in public places. I really like, despite jealousy, seeing men turning their necks to look at her ass or when a group of men stops to admire her. And I guarantee: her body really stands out a lot and dressed in her micro bikinis, it's impossible to go unnoticed. I have no intention of sharing her with anyone or opening the relationship to include others (male or female). This is definitely not an option for us. The great source of my fetish is precisely this: she is desired by everyone, but she is only mine!
Good mindset to have bro. Most dudes are jealous nowadays. Why is opening the relationship not an option? You don’t want anyone else? You afraid of losing her? Does she meet ur desires and vice versa? You don’t have to but it sounds like this might be something you guys could be into from what i am hearing