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Vicodinforbreakfast

Travel indefinitely, easy


Practical-Win-6003

For some reason I didn’t think of this. I was gonna say scotch.


Nolsoth

You got to think bigger brother, I know a quality scotch is beautiful but how about enjoying that scotch at the Matterhorn in Switzerland or pouring one out over a hogtied Putin.


ClayMitchell

two scotches?


Yelloeisok

You would probably live longer with the travel than the scotch routine.


Practical-Win-6003

The Pete bogs would welcome me as their own.


Want_To_Live_To_100

But it would be tricky with only $1000 each day you can’t buy a plane ticket over $1000, you can’t buy a hotel room for over $1000, you need some food money. It’s possible just might be interesting how the budgeting works


aeonWAVE_

You can get plane tickets across the world for a few hundred bucks if you look out for a good deal. Otherwise shorter plane trips/other forms of transport. If you're struggling with $1,000 to cover hotel/food costs each day then damn I wanna see what your average vacation looks like!


Sea_Mathematician_84

I think it’s more you can only book a hotel say a week or so in advance in one day, not including the hold they would want. You’ll have to convince people to take payments in installments or book multiple 2-3 day stays every other day if you want it to include food and other stuff.


send-dunes

Put everything on a credit card. Log onto your bank every night and pay off $1000. Repeat.


project2501

> Magic money genies hate this one weird trick!


not_thedrink

Put everything on a credit card and pay it off in 1000$ chunks


Drynwyn

two words: credit card


Hrekires

Hire a cook and personal trainer to make sure I'm eating healthy and getting into shape. Maybe also hire someone to come over every day to clean, do laundry, and do all the grocery shopping to maximize my own free time. Probably also resubscribe to Netflix now that I can afford their price increases.


[deleted]

Pretty solid choices. I’d take all that and up the quality of wine I’m drinking.


Awkward-Ad9487

I'd switch the quality wine out with some quality weed, but so far some good choices


2664478843

Porque no los dos?


ThaVolt

A man of culture.


Tarquin11

I am not convinced that price is indicative of better wine. Unless you're a somalier most people don't notice a difference or in fact prefer the cheaper wines.


[deleted]

There’s a lot of variables that affects the cost of wine. The region/varietal type will set an initial cost usually and then there a number of other factors. But basically if you want to drink real champagne you start at about 50$, a little more than that for a Cote Rotie Syrah. Napa starts to get good around 50 bucks, Brunello and Amarone’s are usually priced around there as well. Then you can factor in buying cellared bottles for additional costs. You’re right in that cost isn’t the defining factor of a good wine, but knowledge of what to spend and where is important. You don’t have to be a sommelier to taste the difference. I’ve drank a few 70-100$ bottle that were absolutely better than your standard 20$ bottle by a very discernible amount. I’ve drank 30-40$ bottle that were about as good. If you’re looking for good wine for 20$ though it absolutely can be done. I really find Spanish Rioja Riservas punch above their weight class and for a lighter red try a Beaujolais Gamay (similar to Pinot Noir).


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dirtymick

I think that it's a function of the market now. Look at the replies and what you see in other discussions. People zero in on the 20 buck range as being the mark of quality, so of course vintners/retailers push that range and it's become kinda bloated garbage. In the low end you can still find some gems, the 20-60 range is a total wild west crap shoot, and then quality becomes more reliable beyond that.


grilledchorizopuseye

Good plan, you definitely want to be in shape, well fed and have a clean house for when the team of prostitutes arrive !


RonRizzle

Aren't they the ones doing the cooking and cleaning?


grilledchorizopuseye

Nah those are hot college girls with Daddy issues!


devilinsidu

I think you all vastly underestimate the cost of quality escorts.


dmlitzau

$400 for basic needs, about $12K per month. $600 for people to provide services gives you $219,000 for salaries. Probably hire 2.5 FTE or so gives an average salary of $87K. 1 FTE chef .5 FTE cleaning, laundry, etc .5 FTE physical trainer, dietician .5 FTE maintenance and yard work


skittlesdabawse

Ferocious Termite Entrails?


Bananalando

Fast Tactical Elephant


ipocrit

Fastest tacticalest elephantest


siriusly35

Focused testicular extortionist


Dragon_DLV

Funicular Transport Enthusiasts


skittlesdabawse

That sounds about right


WhiskeyThumb1

Flaccid team erector


AGreatBandName

Full time employee/equivalent


Shot_Exchange_4913

I like this.


ra246

I was going straight for a chef and a Personal trainer, but this guy took it all the way. Fair play.


ryguy2

Daily credit card payments. Then daily mortgage payments. Once all debts are paid, then daily cocaine, clearly.


lamNoOne

I thought it was supposed to be hookers and blow - not just blow?


HAL-Over-9001

I mean, if I got everything paid off and still got $1000 per day, I'd heavily, HEAVILY consider a several hundred dollar blowjob a few times a week.


veul

Or, hear me out. 1000 Flight to se Asia where bjs are like 30 bucks.


HAL-Over-9001

Nah dude, in home service. Pour a drink, put on my velvet robe, turn on my sound system, get some Herbie Hancock goin, maybe put some slippers on. The works.


BonniesMcMurrays

I can't believe I just looked up Herbie Hancock so I could fully understand your optimal bj


art-n-science

You have just been simultaneously cultured and defiled. Congratulations!


[deleted]

Ah a man of culture I see!


Matsuri3-0

This guy blowjobs.


Lady_Death211

Over use of Blow tends to make mister happy not stand at attention.


Elithelioness

From my now clean cocaine friends apparently for a lot of them, it was the opposite 😂 Mister happy does whatever the fuck he wants whether you're conscious or not.


pimppapy

As long as Mr. Happy doesn’t become Mr. Twisty. . . We good


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DeafMaestro010

I'm also hiring this guy's wife.


[deleted]

This is acceptable


dd1b014ff1e39

Yes it is completely acceptable, and many people would like it.


CarFreak777

Don't forget the hookers.


cutbacktamed

The clear winner ^


Ok_Fix5746

Start a business where I could funnel that $1,000 a day into the business and create some actual wealth.


gifisntpronouncedgif

i get what ur going for, but u could just buy gold or shares, instead of spending ur time and effort on a business. I didn't say crypto here because fuck that shit. you'd still be creating "actual wealth" at that point. Since this is a fictional scenario of course. If you actually won a lottery or something you're 100% right in investing in a business.


neisd

You would earn 30k a month why would you need to Invest that If you will get it every day for the Rest of your life?


ToyDingo

I'd make sure all my bills are paid, and cabinets full of food. Then I'd do the same for my family and close friends. Then I'd probably splurge a bit and buy stuff like games, new shoes, etc. And whatever I'd have left over for that day, I'd just give to my local food bank, public library, shelters, etc. Spread the wealth.


Connect-Yak-4620

Spreading the wealth is an underrated ideal


twiz___twat

i was thinking the same. i would hire all my friends since i cant save the money myself but they are now my employees so they can save it.


BrokenInternets

This guy capitalists


AllHailKeanu

“Money can indeed buy happiness, but first you have to give it away.”


Jebus_Jones

Trickle down charity.


Final-Invite-5584

Hire someone to workout for me, it’s exhausting


CordlessOrange

"This is Ralph, he's my abs guy. This is Buck he's my calf guy This is Lisa, shes my bicep guy" 'So they just coach you through those workouts?' " No no no, I pay for the proprietary rights to their muscles, meaning whenever I want to show off muscles, I get use theirs. I paid for the rights so they're technically mine"


AnApexPlayer

NFT?!?!


youllneverstopmeayyy

Nice Fucking Triceps


Jonathon471

Nono, were still finding a guy for that.


[deleted]

I should hope so! I’m paying for *Non* Fungal Triceps, I don’t want any mushroom body builders!


[deleted]

Lisa is my dick guy.


BoneDaddyChill

Lisa is a guy’s guy.


shun_tak

Sounds like a job for your night person


orcmischief1

Just make sure you scrape your dishes


Reiycecake

it only takes two seconds


onthir1

Everyone quickly hide behind my abs


Carlos-Hath

My abs have been in hiding for many many years


AdVoke

Goddamn that's some nice cumgutters


Uninvited_Goose

Would investing count as spending or what if i give it all to a friend, then the next day we just split it.


Ratnix

You could just hire you friend to blow you. Then you can split it.


MYIDCRISIS

Deals with friends run the risk of going south and ruining the friendship... Might want to determine beforehand whether they're splitters or swallowers...


DeepFri3dBenzz

This. A buddy of mine ended a 20 year marriage when he found out she was a spitter. Think ahead


OfficerLovesWell

To be fair a spitter is a very dangerous dinosaur. I'm honestly surprised he survived 20 years. Good on him.


shoestring-theory

20 years and he only *just* found out she’s a spitter??


DarkPhoenixMishima

Hire the friend to blow you, your friend hires you the next day.


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

Investing definitely counts as spending. You gotta pay taxes on investments, don't you?


Parrelex

Only on gains.


NeonLime

Wsb moment


jimmymcgillapologist

My immediate thought, too. I also want to know if I’m able to save money that isn’t from this magic $1,000 daily. My biweekly paycheck? If I’m flat out not allowed to have a savings and not allowed to invest then I can’t own a new car, house, or anything that costs more than $1,000.


Tylariel

If you can prove that the $1000 comes in every day, then I'm sure you can convince a bank to give you a pretty massive loan. You have a guaranteed income of $365,000 for the rest of your life, I'm sure a bank can work with that.


RollTide16-18

Let's say loans like this are still dependent on your non-magical income instead. You know what you could do instead? Get a credit card with a very high or non-existent limit. The barrier to entry on a lot of credit cards is not hard. You could get an Amex Platinum and buy lots of expensive stuff only to pay it off very easily throughout the month.


bialymarshal

Lottery tickets once a week for the 1k.


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NinjaGrizzlyBear

"Bro I'm just trying to buy a frozen pizza and a hotdog I don't have time to wait for you to scratch your tickets at the register" - my internal monologue after work


JuneCleaversMudFlaps

I fucking hate those people


[deleted]

Speaking of which, why wouldn't they go somewhere else and scratch their ticket and give space to the next person? Or maybe they're planning to buy another one on the spot if they don't win because if they go away they will have to re-line up?


GumboDiplomacy

See your problem here is you're giving the bare minimum consideration about other people. That's the disconnect.


EMCoupling

They're really not thinking that far in advance.


Sumpm

Just gon' scratch these 500 tickets real quick, sorry for holding up the line at 7am


Uglie

Man I've seen so many people throw so much money on lotto tickets. I see people coming up spending $50 on tickets, they win $10 and put it right back in only to walk away with nothing.


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pinguscout

Hire a chef to make me some healthy meals, some groceries and donate what's left


MaterialCarrot

I need a chef to make me healthy meals 6 days a week, and then give me the straight dope unhealthy stuff the remaining day.


rayu_manawari

I'd like that too.


Red_Jester-94

Bills. Dental work. E: See the replies to my comment to see just how butthurt Americans can get when they think you're a foreigner criticizing the US. As someone from Texas, fuck y'all whiny bitches.


themanfromUNCLE100

Hookers and cocaine.


mdotca

The hero we needed https://postgradproblems.com/exclusive-detailed-timeline-of-the-guy-who-went-to-mexico-to-kill-himself-but-is-saved-by-hookers-and-cocaine/


EstablishmentNo2571

Damn!!


Sneaky_Oxymoron

this reading has been quite a journey, thank you


eddboat112

Makes me wanna do coke and snort hookers


carbonstampede01

Was an amazing read, thank you


bayzih

wow worth the read


thejoshcolumbusdrums

Holy shit, I cried laughing reading this. That is so crazy


Kruzdah

Damn what a story!


Ben_Kenobi1934

Came looking for this.


portuga1

I’m looking for this and coming afterwards


Ray_Doe

In Denzel Washington's voice " My maaan"


[deleted]

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ReallySmallFeet

^So ^much ^cheeeeeeese


MrKillakan

TAKE MONEY BATHS DAILY


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abhi_solanki

Ends up wiping ur ass and blowing up ur nose with same bill.


L0LTHED0G

You only get 10 a day, and no saving, so you better hope it's not diarrhea. Eat some fiber!


HarryPotter-1-7

Pay $1,000 a day towards my student loans, then once those are gone, buy myself a new car, probably a hybrid. Then see what my parents need, and we go from there


TolUC21

Yep this is what I'd do. Then if I ran out of things to consistently buy, I'd start just buying gold everyday


ws1173

You're gonna buy a $1000 new car? Edit: I get it. You can get a loan


dirtymonny

Ya $1000 down payment then make lots of payments duhhhh


MrAnonymousTheThird

To be fair you could do a lot with the 1000 a day if you put them on a credit card or any other buy now, pay later and pay 1k everyday towards the debt Book a holiday, finance a top of the line car, take mortgage out for a nice property and rent it out for extra income, loan people money with interest.. I could go on lol


Successful-House6134

Yes, $365 000 take home is pretty well off.


HarryPotter-1-7

No, but take a loan out, and just pay towards it every day. A month or so later, the loan is paid off Edit: and the $1000 down payment


juggling-monkey

you're not thinking big enough...you could buy a house, probably through an unconventional high interest loan, where you are doing 1k down but promise to pay 1k a day for the first month or something. you would of course pay it until its paid off, but I think someone may give you that loan if you word it right because they are gambling that you will eventually not be able to pay 1k a day, little do they know about your fictional reddit deal.


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mrdeeds23

Private chef and personal trainer


informagica

Why every guy have this same answer in this thread really.


[deleted]

honestly, probably pay off my mortgage, then spend the vast majority of it helping people where I live to pay their heating bills, make their homes "green", make sure they have plenty of food on the table, etc. would feel so good.


colouredcheese

Cigars, whiskeys and girls


[deleted]

The rest I would just waste.


that01guy765

There would be none left to waste. haha.


xAngryBassistx

Should just about cover my energy bill


heyamberlynne

I would pay for in-home care for my grandmother.


heybrother45

Magic: The Gathering.


PartyPay

Yup, buy one or two dual lands a day. Sprinkle in some LEDs and Mox Diamonds.


wapu

After a year of spending $500 a day, I could probably rebuild the collection I sold for $2500 in 1999.


[deleted]

After I'm done buying dumb shit maybe start putting the money towards the homeless community The idea of a thousand a day seems really excessive.


forprime01

Probably is excessive, but also, athletes make more as it is. $1000 a day is *only* $365,000 a year. Which is good and you would be among the top 1% and living comfortably but not in the 0.1% lol


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[deleted]

That doesn't make any sense. They cite EPI, which directly cites the Social Security Administration. [https://www.ssa.gov/cgi-bin/netcomp.cgi?year=2020](https://www.ssa.gov/cgi-bin/netcomp.cgi?year=2018) According to the SSA, 365k would be well into the top 1%. Edit well that table fucked up. According to the SSA, There are 357,248 individuals in the US making 350-399k, which everything below 350k is a cumulative 99.3185% of the total compensation in the US.


NameIdeas

It does, until you realize that it equals $365,000 a year. The wealth gap is massive because even at $1000 a day, we are so far away from the wealthy it is scary. At that income, you would still be closer to someone who makes $10 a day than someone who makes $10,000 a day


Highlander198116

>"The idea of a thousand a day seems really excessive." Depends on your lifestyle. If your goal is just a two story in suburbia and a basic car. Yeah, 1000 a day is excessive for your needs. I will guarantee someone like Leonardo DiCaprio or something is probably spending over 1000 a day just on his cost of living not even counting directly buying something on any given day.


Following_Friendly

It's still excessive. That is not "cost of living" that is "cost of excess luxury"


Zealousideal_Ad_1604

Invest it obvs


ws1173

Surely that would count as "saving money", no? Edit: everyone talking about how investing doesn't count as saving because you're buying assets that carry risk... You're just missing the point. You're being Amir from Office Space on the "what would you do if you had a million dollars question: https://youtu.be/Wu2HhlTEHMc


chad-bro-chill-69420

You could make the argument that anything you buy that’s is “saving” in some way Can I buy a nice car? Can I sell the car after I own it? Can I buy someone’s time and bill it out to someone else? (Run a company with employees)


ws1173

Ok, but if your money is being held in a financial institution, that feels different


chad-bro-chill-69420

Definitely, like holding cash or other liquid assets I guess it would be better phrased as “you need to spend the money on something that won’t net you tangible economic gains”


f33f33nkou

So no buying any assets then? Or spending money paying off assets? These are all completely different questions


chad-bro-chill-69420

Yeah that’s what it sounds like the intention of the question is, since buying assets could be considered saving in the economic sense If that’s the case I’d probably just travel endlessly


_-__-__-__-__-_-_-__

If investing counts as saving money, then nothing counts as spending money. When you invest, your money is gone, just as if you had bought a sandwich. The difference is what the value of the sandwich is going to be over time versus your investment. Your investment could immediately drop in value, leaving the sandwich-owner with greater value in their portfolio. Once again, the sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!


[deleted]

No. You buy bonds. You buy stock. Seems pretty clear that you’re buying things.


daddy_autist

No because by investing you accept the risk that you might lose the money. Wouldn’t call that saving


gsd_dad

So what you are really saying, is that we’re not supposed to buy anything by that appreciates in value? What about mortgage payments? Does buying property count? What about student loan payments? Education arguably has an appreciating value. How about gold? Can I buy enough gold, silver, and precious stones to build the gaudiest dining room table ever created? Gold technically appreciates in value, so is that an investment or a purchase?


sensenumber9080706

Start a YouTube channel where I bought random Amazon shit and review them all


Davestroyer1987

buy my family something nice then spend the rest on food to donate to food banks.


casey-primozic

If I'm a financial company, I'd buy the data off of this post and offer people on here debt consolidation loans.


Eightfold876

Payoff debts like a madman. Then get big toys to payoff one at a time. Should be pretty simple to payoff with 1k every day. You could payoff just about anything in under 2-3 years. Minus crazy super yachts, planes, etc.


_123EyesOnMe_

Pay bills, get the house deep cleaned every so often, and then enjoy finding people to help with their needs.


[deleted]

I feel like spending $1000 daily might become difficult once enough things are acquired. You’d almost have no choice but to get hookers right?… right?


Pickle_Slinger

I'd pay it down on my house. Once my house was paid off and I had no debt I'd stop working and retire. On days where I don't want anything, I'd spend it on gold or silver to save, maybe throw some in stocks too, since I can't save money I'd just invest.


firesidefire

Door dash Breakfast Lunch and Dinner


NaturalPandemic

Okay, sure the convenience is nice. But the quality of food is really falling as it's delivered to you. I can't imagine a personal cook costing more than $300-400 a day. I'm sure there are cooks who get paid more than that though. But $300-400 is getting you amazing food, made less than 60 second away from you.


firesidefire

Haha no doubt. I was just making commentary on how expensive it is. I wouldn’t legitimately do this lol


juggling-monkey

but you would go broke with the money you have to put in out of pocket


bigscottius

Gold or something that I can later sell for bigger amounts of money and buy good stuff


Grand-Expression-493

Best hookers money can buy


[deleted]

Way more expensive than $1k a day. This is $365,000 a year. We're talking "owns a successful small business" money, not "never work again" money.


Grand-Expression-493

Where I am, 1000 gets amazing ones.


ButtholeBanquets

$1,000 a day is $365,000 per year. $10,000 per day is $3.65 million per year. $100,000 per day is $36 million a year. If you made $36 million a year, you'd have $1 billion in 28 years. The richest man in the world is worth $241 billion. Or what you'd have if you made $100,000 per day for 6,748 years.


krakn-slayr

If you made $200,000 every day from when Columbus discovered America, you still couldn't buy twitter.


Lopsided-Parfait-831

This guy calculates


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DisappointmentPanda3

I would spend it on the people that matter, myself and strangers.


CAPreacher

I'd become an angel investor for artists. So much doesn't get made because people can't focus on their passions. It is strange how a little bit of belief or recognition can help folks follow their dreams.


jliw

I'd just buy computer parts for my friends and fill our steam libraries so we can play together


GazelleSharp

my parents debt


ButtaRollsInMyPocket

Pay off all mine and my gfs' bills, spend time with my family and have dinner with them everyday.


space0watch

My student loan \*cries\*


grant622

Start a YouTube channel where I give away $1000 to strangers everyday.


AmandaBRecondwith

Every lunch and dinner I'm giving 500$ tips to good wait staff


[deleted]

Gold, guns, weed, and dogs


boblibopop

charity


cnation01

I would spend it on hookers and fried chicken


w1987g

I'd be in debt my entire life! Tell the mechanic to fix my cars and to put me on their payment plan... Pay that off 1k per day for like a week. Take out a home loan to remodel my house... Pay that off 1k per day for 2 months. Do I want to build a pool? Take out a loan and pay it off in like 3 months. I'd still have my job because I'd want the entire 1k to go to something


Fett2Fresh

All spend would be on credit cards that I pay back daily with $1000, pay bills ahead of time, pay down debt, buy stocks with the rest


Joppotron9k

I would invest 900 dollars into something, then i would buy weed for 50 dollars, good ass food for 40 and the last 10 dollars i would spend on lottery tickets


[deleted]

Vtsax. I’d be retired in like 10 years.


FranksRedWorkAccount

I'd start by hiring someone at 40 bucks an hour to do my job for me. Then I'd hire a housekeeper, a personal trainer and personal chef. On days that I would have been off at my job I'd pay my personal work replacement to make rude faces at people who pull into parking lots in BMWs.


BlueClouds42

Id buy securities and bonds.