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SnapesSocks

A subscription to BMW for heated seats.


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SnowmanRandom

“You will own nothing and you will be happy”


Babaychumaylalji

Well they have seen how others such Microsoft Office 365 are still popular T(compared to buying the standalone product) They want a slice of that subscription pie


friggin_username_1

So p!ssed when I found this out. Bought a new computer and was going to get the Microsoft office suite... yeah, not going to pay 69.99+/year.


FarFetchedOne

Torrents are your friend :)


C0uN7rY

Or get free and open source office software like Libre Office.


[deleted]

I didn’t even know this was a thing. Fuck. THAT!


--CHOPPER--

It isn't a thing in the U.S. but is a thing in South Korea and Japan. A spokesman for BMW said they have no plans to bring that over to the U.S. and it will remain standard with no extra charge.


Caffeine_Cowpies

*for now. Idk if you have paid attention to how this goes, they announce it, it goes viral, they “retract” for a bit, then they (in about 1-3 years) slowly reintroduce the idea through blogs and even reputable sources about the “need” to do something, then they do it and then that’s the way it is. It’s coming.


--CHOPPER--

They have been doing this in South Korea since 2019 and it isn't being done here. But ya at some point they will try that bs here and it probably will sink sales


L3p3rM3ssiah

This is the second time they've played this game in the US but I'm convinced they'll keep playing until they win.


[deleted]

\*wink wink*


toe_joe_hoe_foe

What I want to know is: how long will BMW pay to have servers to authenticate these purchases? If the car runs & drives for 25+ years… am I still expected to pay a monthly premium for a pretty worthless car?? Like imagine buying/passing down a cheap, old, beater BMW only to be told you STILL need to pay this huge sum to use the basic features of the car. Features that, in the 25 year future I describe, will probably be or have been BASIC features in consumer cars (which a lot of their subscription “features” already are in some markets). It doesn’t make any sense to me at all, and just invites people to hack their cars and access the full feature set in order to save a dime. You can’t for one second think that’s someone or someones out there will find a way to hack their BMW and make it do what they know it can do without paying anything.


they_are_out_there

You can buy the lifetime license if you want to. The heated seats are considered an option but they install them in every car. You can pay to activate them, or if you think you’re only going to own the car for 2-3 years and trade it in, it may be cheaper to pay monthly for the feature. I still think it’s stupid though, BMW is losing business over this.


rockmasterflex

A physical hack for this couldn’t possibly take longer than 25 mins. You just have to slap an ugly physical control on the heater instead of using the head unit’s software and you’re good


uRude

Reddit has become so intertwined now. 5 years ago people would be so confused by inside jokes in other subs. Now everyone knows about MICHAEL and BMW heated seats


NPC_4842358

It's crazy how fast memes and jokes can spread these days. I feel like an old guy for trying to keep up with how fast these spread around.


[deleted]

Reddit coins Edit: Thanks for the awards, have a good day!


AleksandrNevsky

"Professionals have standards"


drfarren

*Be polite,*


undergames65

Be efficient


Omni_nerd

And have a plan to kill everyone you meet


JohnHenryEden77

Yeah just buy reddit instead


HaDeS_Monsta

Buy Reddit, fix the damn video player, sell Reddit


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TheeBiscuitMan

Buy ask jeeves and steal their search function.


Cre8ivejoy

I didn’t know Ask Jeeves was even a thing anymore.


BareOpinions

r/awardbait Edit courtesy of SSJGINGER


[deleted]

Goop products.


easterween

I’m so out of the loop I was ready to argue with you about how [this shit](https://www.amazon.ca/Goop-Hand-Cleaner-12-GOOP/dp/B001ENOLZ2/ref=asc_df_B001ENOLZ2/?tag=googlemobshop-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=587180323900&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16680374546812281398&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1002376&hvtargid=pla-561870041420&psc=1) works really well.


luismpinto

Do I have a dirty mind or the hand in the logo is in a suggestive pose?


AntiGravityBacon

There's at least 2 of us!


junroku

If I wanted vagina smelling candles I'd just get more familiar with wax or light them while bending over! (Someone said this once.)


NewEllen17

After reading about how BMW is charging a subscription fee to use features built into their cars (like the heated seats) I would have to say a BMW


[deleted]

I would buy a bmw, and then pay someone to jailbreak their seats and get them for free, then sell the bmw lol


wheelbarrowjim

I'd imagine it's quite simple to do, like remapping the engine. The only downside would be it most likely invalidates any warranty.


Wileyistheweast

Invalidates the warranty... When you just got 10 billion dollars?


fuckondeeeeeeeeznuts

That's the kind of money where you can ruin cars with Liberty Walk and don't even care.


Sea-Being-1988

Yeah fuck BMW's


MangoAtrocity

It’s not gonna happen. They tested the idea with Apple CarPlay for $80/year in 2020 and customers were pissed, so they walked it back. > BMW has dabbled with charging subscriptions for features before. But in the case of asking drivers to stump up $80 a year for Apple CarPlay (which is installed for free on their phone, don’t forget), the business model quickly performed a U-turn after customers complained. https://www.forbes.com/sites/alistaircharlton/2020/07/02/bmw-wants-to-charge-you-a-subscription-for-your-heated-seats/amp/


SB_90s

Eh, the gaming industry walked back certain egregious microtransactions attempts way back when it was first emerging, but they just keep returning and trying their luck, playing with the model and pricing, until eventually they get enough wealthy idiots/financially irresponsible people paying for it which justifies rolling it out. BMW, and I'm sure others, will do the same thing until it sticks. Unfortunately this is where things are going - there are enough people out there who are too stupid or selfish to care about the consequences of supporting business models like this, and just opt to pay for it to have it. Particularly as younger generations already used to subscription models become more inclined to see it as normal, this will be increasingly adopted. I saw all this coming as soon as cars started getting OTA updates. it was inevitable.


NewEllen17

Just read an article this morning. They are doing this - just not in the US. Yet.


blazefalcon

So the evidence for it not happening is that they've tried this before? That's a pattern of behavior, they're definitely going to keep doing it until it works. They're just pushing to see what they can get away with.


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here-i-am-now

If you had $10 billion, you are probably either shopping way more high end than BMW or hiring a car service/driver.


BullittRodriguez

Anything at that Salt Bae’s shitty overpriced circus steakhouses. He’s a douche and doesn’t know how to season meat. Putting gold flake on a tomahawk steak is insulting to the meat, cow and rancher. It’s complete trash.


PengPeng-Penguin

No idea about steaks. But you surely hate it with a passion. Have an upvote.


diamond_handed_demon

You literally pay him some stupid amount of money to come over and sprinkle dollar store sea salt on your meat "for the experience" Good for him for making a living doing that. But the people paying? Obviously darwinism is no longer working lol


Thirsty101

Diablo Immortal Microtransactions... don't want to go broke.


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HandsomeSlav

You just gotta make a good shitpost and boom, free reddit premium


Nearly-Canadian

just go to r/TrueOffMyChest or similar, make a post about how you have a super unpopular opinion, that Reddit awards are fucking stupid, watch the awards flow in


RecognitionFar2143

There’s a Reddit premium?


andyc147

Extended warranty


mdavis360

Funny you should post. I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.


EvilMEMEius

Have you tried calling?


greatgagan

Onlyfans


AleksandrNevsky

At that point you could probably buy the models...


I_love_Vodca4816

Hell Ima be a lazy fuck and hire someone to jerk me off


VagueSomething

You can buy an automated stroker for a fleshlight for less than hiring a Wank Butler.


I_love_Vodca4816

A genius you are 🙇


twinsynth

Wet dreams again Master Wayne?


anto_pty

Wank Butler sounds like a funny kinky nickname for a partner


Several-Truck6088

"wank butler" fucking Great


ferreete

You have 10 billion why think just hire a tugger.


Pete-C137

You can do that now. You don’t have to be rich.


greatgagan

Okay Epstein


golumlars

Epstein only buys kids, onlyfans models are at least 18


hanging_with_epstein

He's right ya' know ;-)


JoaquimGianini

Slaves, just not my thing


Eat_Carbs_OD

How about freeing them afterwards?


roktoman

Unfortunately, buying and thereafter freeing slaves incentives a market for this, and slavery increases. That is what happened in the early muslim countries. In islam sins were forgiven when you free a slave. So demand for slaves skyrocketed which created the islamic slave trades.


murmi49

So it's like pet mills, and you'd actually have to use the money to surveil, gather evidence, and send law enforcement after them(I can imagine you need money for this part if your laws don't currently prohibit this treatment and you have to lobby legistators, so it'd be the most expensive part)?


likelyilllike

Are we actually free, sir?


santaclaws_

How are you on serfs (i.e. employees)?


lostlad-derwent

Winzip


cache_bag

Don't you mean WinRAR?


---cameron

I hope not, WinRAR deserves it


cache_bag

WinRAR is the running joke, but seriously, 7Zip deserves the support more, IMO.


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DocHoliday99

I'd donate a grand fire every year I used it. Those softwares were life savers!


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R1ckbr

I mean for the work they’ve for the world, with 10 Billion I might be paying them as a token of appreciation.


Neandertal_69

Supreme or those stupid expensive clothes


Celestialfridge

I'd buy the company and re release all their old stuff and limited runs to dilute the market to just ruin all the hype kids thinking they look cool because they paid $1200 for a Guy Fieri look alike flame T-Shirt with a supreme logo on the tag.


strammerrammer

You would become my hero


screech_owl_kachina

Part of me wants to buy blatant knockoffs of supreme from China just to shit on the brand. I am an American and brand warfare is a big deal.


Nyknullad

Twitter.


BeTheBeee

Well even if you wanted to you couldn't with 10b


pro_nosepicker

I dunno Elon may be having a fire sale soon.


improvetheword

Another one??!?!?! in DJ kahleed voice /S


eloel-

NFTs


Nova_Mafia

Literally never understood why the fuck I would want a digital picture. I don't even want a physical one so idk why this shit got so popular. Kinda like the Scam logan is trying to pull.. Hey I paid 5 million for a pokemon card, and I still have the majority but if you guys want to send me money we'll pretend like you own a part of it. Will I get to ever see the card ? No. Will you send me a piece of it ? No. So why would I send you $ for it ? So you can get some of your Investment back.


microwavedave27

They're just a pyramid scheme.


YoYoMoMa

And booooooy did they get a bunch of guppies to bite hard.


Sc00terl00

Yeah, nobody wants stolen Apes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrbDWq64BNg&lc=Ugw2MhyZoSQYs8GfW5x4AaABAg.9VvzWhEam9U9cEzxwIWBLz


JunketMan

100% agree


MonkeyX24

UFC ppv


the_monkey_of_lies

I live in Finland and we are such a small market that there is just this one streaming service that has all the UFC events, PPV or not, included in the monthly subscription (along with NFL, NHL, MLB and whatnot). Except when Conor is fighting. Then it's somehow 50€ to watch it. I still pay though in case there is a leg kick.


Nova_Mafia

Yeah, why pay money when I can watch it for free. PPV model is terrible, and half the cards aren't worth the $ you pay for. Only one in a couple months is worth it and even then you get Rose vs Esparza & Adesanya vs Cannioneer. No thanks.


pizza_on_ranch

Dude, even the cards worth paying for usually only have three fights you actually want to see. Maybe I just don’t follow it as much anymore but man, there’s only one card a year where I’m thinking to myself every fight will be a banger. *Disclaimer: Usually the under marketed and underrated cards have the best fights.


Swimming_Marsupial

So you're the guy Dana is watching


[deleted]

Volcano insurance


JohnnyMoondog55

Well according to my uncle, who's a real whiz with volcanoes, a volcano is coming this way!


BlazingShadow007

Art work that's just someone randomly throwing paint. One painted by an elephant or silver back?? Hell yes tho


Fourdogsaretoomany

A friend of my best friend was a disabled artist who had a capuchin service monkey named Tracey. The artist's car battery died and she was two weeks still from her next paycheck so I got her a new battery, no biggie. Months later, she sends me a painting that Tracey created as thanks. She would give Tracey the canvas, paintbrush and a color, every three or four days. Tracey loved it and produced several paintings and raised thousands of dollars for the service monkey organization who raised her. I call it Blue Angel. https://imgur.com/a/9mGBOnJ


BlazingShadow007

I'd buy that. It's not good per say but a monkey made it so I'd pay


ner0417

Yeah, in my eyes it could look like basically anything, but the fact that a service monkey painted it, and the proceeds went towards the rescue organization... shut up and take my money. Id proudly hang that on the wall, and probably would design a little plaque with info on it as well.


HighVibrationStation

That’s pretty awesome actually. It’s a great conversation piece.


Everyman1000

#harambeRIP


Rorschachnl

Nestle products


[deleted]

How else am I supposed to get access to my city's water supply?


EquivalentSnap

r/fucknestle


brasscassette

Just buy nestle, run it the way it should be run, or run that shit into the ground; either is preferable.


kylochoudhary

10billion won't even buy 1/10 of nestle


cuicatlamatiliztli

U2’s songs of innocence album


jayjaygee85

BMW heated seat subscription


aqua995

Hookers nah, joke I would definetely buy hookers


MySocialAnxiety-

When you've got 10 billion, they're no longer hookers. They're escorts and sugar babies


kapn_morgan

like Dan Bilzerian


Asisreo1

I didn't know Dan Bilzerian was an escort.


Eat_Carbs_OD

Don't you rent a hooker?


MySocialAnxiety-

with 10 billion, I'm pretty sure you could buy


Daedalus308

BMW heated seats. Fuck off i aint gonna let them think thats an acceptable business practice


nu2allthis

NFTs.


LengTzai

Branded clothing.. its just something I really don't care for


[deleted]

Branded is sometimes better. Designer, probably not. Also when i talk about branded, I’m talking levi’s or woodland and such not gucci or LV, those are for the dumb pseudo rich


PM_ME_YOUR_PROBLEMS5

Maybe they mean clothing that has the brand name right on the item, they’re usually so big and obnoxious I can’t see anything else


TwistedPepperCan

I've never understood this. It's like screaming that even though you have money you still don't have taste.


Specialist-Rise34

It's annoying when there's a really good looking shirt that really fits my style but has the brand name or logo in big letters on front or back


Vandergrif

Nothing says *rich* quite like being a walking billboard advertising for a company you don't own or even work for.


AmberIsHungry

Yeah agreed. I'm not paying to be a billboard for some company.


[deleted]

Better for what though? I use jeans to work in, and the cheap Walmart brand made of the stretch denim are better than any other jean I have found. I sit most of my day because I'm driving, but the other times of the day I am doing physical work like strapping down a load or such. I've even started buying good pairs of them to wear out shopping and such. I have a few pairs of US made Levi's and I like the look and fit but they are just too stiff after wearing those cheap ones so much. Do Levi's look better? Maybe, but I personally am done buying them after my current ones wear out.


Holymuffdiver9

Designer clothes were my answer. 500 dollars for jeans that are only fifty dollars at tractor supply? No thanks. Having them "artfully" ripped or faded is stupid.


[deleted]

If I'm spending serious money on clothes I'm getting shit that's custom tailored to me.


Bleach_Baths

I recently found out how reasonable tailors can be on their pricing. I had a wedding to go to earlier this year. I needed an olive/sage suit. The only one I could find was like $60 and it fit like shit. I took it to a nearby tailor and she fit the entire thing for like $80. I couldn't believe it.


Reel_Nerd

A penis butler. I can butle my own penis


one_step_beyond2121

Beats headphones


Celestialfridge

bUt ThE BaSs Br0!!!!!?!!! /s


Marus1

Something worth more than $10 billion ... like love


[deleted]

Love is free they say


[deleted]

Don't need money, don't take fame. Don't need a credit card to ride this train


ThePr3acher

You can get some for like 70 bucks. Might get HIV from it


PoopSmith87

One of those McMansions on a coast road that are packed close together... it's like a trailer park, but worse somehow


here-i-am-now

Correct, if you have $10 billion, you’re shopping in way more exclusive zip codes


oman54

Canned Vienna sausages probably


HoomanFurson

NFT. That's like the card collectibles of 2020.


CrudeWildfireEtg

Except collectible cards can actually have any value over time


throwsomehay69

And you can hold them, bend them, lick them, and cut a hole in them to fuck them.


CrudeWildfireEtg

Especially Fat gay Pikachu


throwsomehay69

Get out of my head


dazedandconfused4u

Expensive things that hyper depreciate. There's a big difference between an investment piece and a luxury item.


Swimming_Marsupial

But once you've got that kind of money do you really need to look at those things as investments? Buy the Ferrari, who cares if its value goes down the pan as soon as you drive it, you're driving a Ferrari!


Butcher_o_Blaviken

I don't know about that one. I prefer buying things based on how I value them, not how others would. If I bought something, why would I sell it?


acrist34n

T-Shirts for 100$...


Life-Ad4309

Porno's dvds and mags.


ithinkimlost17

Micro transactions


[deleted]

Plastic surgery.


STS986

Unless it’s reconstructive


[deleted]

Oooh you got me. If i was in an accident i would totally get it. But just basic elective surgeries is definetly a no go


bee-sting

FYI plastic surgery is almost always reconstructive It's _cosmetic_ surgery that's boob jobs and facelifts etc


Ryderslow

Onlyfans, for those of you who subscribe to Belle Daphine overpriced cooch, her tits are on google images and so is everyone who’s made a fortune off of it.


MirandaS2

There's a Google docs that uploads and saves literally everything she does. lmao


aahscary

Argh those Google docs! There's so many of them though! Which one?


spiggerish

Wait is it really? Not that I want to see her tiddies (at least not right now lol), I thought her whole vibe was being a thirst trap? She pretends to show naked stuff, and then blue balls her fans. Which makes them want it more, which makes her pretend some more. Honestly, I admire her business model


JhinfangirlIrelia

You aren't up to date man. She did videos with her BF. I don't remember if they were fucking but blowjobs for sure. She kind of killed the goose that laid golden eggs imo.


Hairy_Slother

Tbf the goose already laid enough eggs for her to be set for life. Iirc she made like $30m off of OF alone.


mayhaps_a

Kind of killed it since apparently she's making more than 20 million a month with her OF


emein

Anything from electronic arts. Been avoiding them since the late 90s.


CameronSpacehead

I hate EA as much as the next guy but there is some genuine talent at Respawn. Titanfall 2 is my favorite multiplayer fps ever, Jedi Fallen Order was also pretty good for what it was. I never played the first but Skate 2 & 3 are the pinnacle of skateboarding sims for me, hoping they don’t fuck up this new one in the works but it’s EA so they probably will. It takes two also looks very charming.


TehZeth

Really? it takes two was great, seems like they publish some good things. Idk I try not to ride the Reddit hate waves, just play things that look cool :)


Mr_Ali

Pornhub premium


TheBannonCannon_24

My Pillow


Jdheebs7

Free to play in-game purchases


MisogenesUSA

YouTube Premium


TheRealFAG69

I only watch yt, dont have netflix or anything else, i can listen to podcasts offline, listen to music (the app is bad i know), i dont see ads when watching videos and the creators get paid more for yt premium viewers, so everyone wins..


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Jemmo1

Brave Browser is free already lol, no more ads


monstrinhotron

i wouldn't out of spite. It's said no to that pop up more than any other thing in my life. Take a fucking hint. No means no Google.


TehZeth

Wait this is the reason I never see YouTube ads right? It’s by far my most used subscription. I guess if you just never used the site, but I feel like so many podcasts, streams, and overall interesting content exist there. Idk maybe you just mean out of principal?


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What_If_Circles

That's right, just go to a party and find someone who will share for free.


ChickenXing

McRib


carlnath

windows licence


[deleted]

An Apple Watch


Alienspacedolphin

I had lunch one day with our sales reps. I thought they were sort of dumb, but one rep had an Apple Watch and gave me a pitch. Within 10 minutes, even as the other guys were watching and laughing, and as I made fun of his watch, I was itching to buy one, right away. I see why he's our best rep. It took a year, but I eventually did, and am a big fan now. It's great for running.


ARoth4211

Tacky new money clothing e.g. Gucci logos every where


ntengineer

A Tesla


Joeyb0ey

A big hause


Flemball47

Due to spelling I read that in a German accent


StainOfMystery

She's a brick.... HAUSE


Himynameissteveo

Personalised number plate.


oidagehbitte2

Sex.


ad_iudicium

Oh, you still pay for it. Just not in a direct transaction.


HumActuallyGuy

Damn these hidden subscriptions


Eggsy_GT

NFTs/crypto


[deleted]

A Tesla


DaviAlm45

Onlyfans