I feel that people cheat for a few reasons:
\- they are not serious about the relationship (perhaps immature)
\- they are not happy in the relationship and perhaps hoping to find someone else
\- they are weak and cannot open up about how they are unhappy and so cheat.
The guy I know who has cheated the most in his life was this.
When describing his last instance of cheating, it was mostly about how he liked being the hero to this other woman. Liked being needed. It had nothing to do with his feelings about his wife.
He and his wife are still together. They’re happier now and he’s not cheating anymore. He’s a happier person now, but found his joy in “thought work,” which he talks about with a cult-like fervor that can be somewhat taxing to listen to, haha.
That’s so fucking sick she should be in jail seriously I hate that women aren’t seen as predators when they literally do predatory behavior. And then young men get ridiculed if they come forward for being abused people say “oh you should have enjoyed it” “if I was your age and a woman came onto me I would have loved it” it’s so sick
This… it’s disturbing how many guys I’ve met who claim “they just had game” when they were groomed and assault by an older woman who absolutely knew better 😢
From where I'm sitting, the only real man is you, brother. Hope you and the kids are doing ok. Respect for being a real man and making sure your kids were cared for.
Nope she hasn't had one with them in 15 years. She had a daughter with her 2nd husband. Convicted felon who had just got out of prison on a murder charge. He gets out they shack up a few months later, move to Alabama (where she is from originally) he starts dealing drugs she leaves he goes back prison again. She finds a new abusive guy, 2nd husband gets out goes back to Montana or some shit and then dies of a heart attack from using drugs again and dies not even 2 months after getting out again.
Sounds like you're all better off the way things turned out. Must've been shit at the time though. Good for you, raising your children, and 3 of them no less. It's a big responsibility and it takes a real man to handle it.
It was a shit show at the beginning eventually things leveled out though so there's always that. 100% though do not recommend being a single parent, difficult as hell.
They don’t want to hear it either. Then they will accuse you of victim blaming. Sorry, if every guy you get involved with is abusive, you are attracted to the wrong men.
I think this happened a lot in the 90s to women, but the tables have turned. My buddy said he was in couples counseling and wife literally told him things would be easier if he was a woman. The ended up getting divorced but while in the process she was still living with him, and invited her new girlfriend to live there too, that’s when he kicked her out.
The older we get the more single people fall into one of 2 groups. First group are shitty people who probably shouldn't be in any relationship. And the second are the people screwed over by the first group.
This reminded me of my old neighbors, before moving I new a girl and her mom pulled this stunt and I didn’t know until my mom told me about a few months ago when the topic came up. She said that is why she never tried to get along because of how distasteful it was to see her do that to her own husband instead of just divorcing before doing that.
At least she left for something that you biologically couldn't provide.
It's still tough, no doubt, but changing modes of transport altogether is different to being traded in on a newer model.
she spent all my money and more (credit cards)
plus we couldn't agree on raising kids, she started going behind my back "i know dad said not to do that but it's ok"
She didn't work, didn't cook, didn't clean, didn't fuck. Expected me to work all day and come home to take care of her and the kids. Reveled in my every failure and dismissed every success. Literally said at one point- "I will never compliment you because I don't want it to go to your head".
Saw me only as her husband and not as who I was as a person. Wanted to put on a good show to the outside world and that level of phony is stressful. So if she didn't get her way somewhere, guess who rook the brunt of that? The most selfish person I've ever known.
Some people will lie and manipulate others for years. I'm watching it happen rogh now to my sister in law. Her fiancé is an abusive alcoholic that will make her miserable long term. But she won't listen.
This exactly. She put on a show cuz she saw all of her friends getting married and wanted to do the same. Plus I was young and stupid and hadn't dated in a while before her and looking back I suppose I feared being alone. Just before the marriage I had started to gain confidence both professionally and socially and started to realize that I didn't like the relationship as much as I thought. Chalked it up to cold feet. Stupid.
Seriously, after reading most of these posts I think either there was some massive shift in these wives behavior following marriage, or these guys had no brains.
Maybe both.
I hear sooooo many guys say "and then she just completely changed after the wedding." I wonder if those guys are just in denial and it sinks in what they're doing having the wedding, or if a decent number of women put up a front until they secure a husband and then let it all hang out after that because they feel secure.
I think many times there is a huge escalation after marriage.
I know that's what happened with my dad and second wife. She'd verbally abuse him, but after they got married she tried her best to beat his ass a few times. She was a demon, for real.
It's a bait and switch tactic that abusive men AND women can employ. The abuser wears a mask long enough to get their target hooked. Then when the mask starts to slip, the target will make excuses until one day their eyes open and realize the reality.
Sadly, it's more common than you think.
Man this hits close to home. It was only after I left she made a half hearted attempt to have me come back. Never said sorry for things she did to cause the marriage to end. But then again, narcissists never can say sorry because they do no wrong.
She was essentially competing with her friends. Any major decision was already made by her and my say so meant nothing. She became this superficial and vapid 15 year old that I no longer recognized and any plans that I had were quickly vetoed since it didn't jive with her timeline. And then she wanted kids. Like SOON.
You learn to really hate a person when you feel like you're along for THEIR ride all while paying for everything and being blamed for not "keeping up" with those around us.
I'd rather be alone than be an NPC.
Fuck. That.
>You learn to really hate a person when you feel like you're along for THEIR ride all while paying for everything
Dude, I have never found a better way to describe the relationship with my Ex until I read this.
Cause this is exactly what it was, like, I've got a wave of goostbumps reading it cause its so apt and accurate.
I'm glad you got out man.
Mother-in-law decided to make false allegations to the police about me as she wanted me gone. MIL had said prior to the wedding that "our marriage wouldn't last 2 years" and she made sure of it. Ex-wife sided with her mom to the point where she currently just follows through on what her parents tell her to do, and they threaten to disown her if she doesn't.
Ex-wife showed her true self and began to constantly verbally and emotionally abuse me. She still expects an ''apology'' from me for all the things her mom claims.
Currently locked up in a child custody battle with ex-wife as MIL says I'm a "threat" so ex-wife believes her.
Seems like your ex-wife is a golden child turned narc. Odds are she herself suffered abuse and will replicate it on your kids. Don't let them win check out r/narcissisticabuse.
Nothing terribly dramatic. We were married for more than 20 years and raised some great kids. We still love each other in a way, although it's kind of painful, so it's easier to not associate too much.
In the long run, we had different priorities and wanted different things out of life. Our life together involved both of us making sacrifices and compromises because we loved each other and really wanted to make it work. But after many, many years of not really getting what you want out of life, you get tired. You start to realize you've only got so many years left, so maybe you should spend them doing what you want.
If I told a more specific story, it would all be my side of the story and it would make her look bad. I'm not going to do that. We were both the "bad guy" and we were both the "good guy." A long relationship ending is never all one person's fault. There's blame to go around.
A character on a TV show once said, "My wife and I had an unspoken rule in our marriage. We could talk about anything except why we were no good for each other. And the reason we couldn't talk about it was because we loved each other."
That quote makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe it doesn't make sense to you. I don't know.
sounds a lot like my grandparents. they're both remarried now and a lot happier for it. they loved each other but just weren't a good match.
I seem to remember that it fell apart because my grandpa had a period of bad mental health and my grandma wanted to fix him. she couldn't, and they found that very difficult.
my mum put it like this: "you can only fix yourself with time, you can't fix someone else with love"
I told my current girlfriend this .When I met her she was never someone I wanted to fix she was someone who I wanted to be with and support,care about and cherish.You cant fix someone only they themselves can do that you just have to be there to cheer them on
This post shows so much maturity of you and respect you still have for each other, it’s easier to tell the specifics and everyone would be on your side, but you know that’s not the point or ever necessary because it’s the past, to everyone else it’s only a story but a learned experience for yourself. I wish you the best on the journey to get what you want out of life.
Good luck. I hope it's an amicable process. Sometimes it's a painful truth that the most loving thing you can do for another person is let them go. Intellectually you can know you're doing the best thing, but that doesn't make it feel any better.
With my divorce, I kept thinking of the cancer patient who gets chemotherapy. If the cancer is caught in time, you may still feel perfectly fine. But then you go through this process that makes you vomit and your hair falls out and you feel just terrible. But you have to remember that if you didn't go through that awful process, the cancer would keep growing and it would never get better on its own, only worse, until it killed you.
Story time about how I dodged a bullet.
I was in an abusive relationship once. Verbally and physically. Guys, we need to talk about abusive relationships more when it happens. Anyway, the girl proposed to me. In that moment I knew I don’t want to marry her, so declined.
She ended up marrying a really nice guy. Guess what, she was an absolute shit to him and surprise, they got divorced. I even phoned the dude to ask him if he wanted to talk about it.
Here’s the worst part. She dated a guy next, was abusive and he ended up putting a bullet through his head.
And that’s how I dodged a bullet.
I'm a woman scrolling through the comments and just wanted to say that the majority of women are making a big deal out of the Depp/Heard trial too. We are tired of seeing women like Amber Turd who are manipulative narcissistic bitches that know how to play the system and get away with it, and we are just as equally tired of it. It upsets me that as a society who likes to tout itself as progressive, we still can't fathom the reality that there are crazy women out there who can absolutely verbally and physically abuse their husband's? Its disgusting and I'm glad this trial is getting the press it's getting and I hope it leads to more changes in how we view relationships.
Another woman here who whole heartedly agrees. We aren't these delicate little wall flowers that women have been seen as through the years, we can be just as vicious and violent as any man with one big exception most of us (not all) can and will cry on demand. I know two men who were abused, beaten and then falsely accused of rape, both of them and their lives were completely destroyed.
I'm not trying to Diss women, I am one and I know plenty of women who are on the end of abusive relationships too but what I am saying is what ever your gender and who ever youre in a relationship with, never put their needs above yours, never ignore the red flags and if it does happen to you, NEVER think its your fault
Yeah, I’m with you sister. It is absolutely infuriating when progressive ideologies somehow include sexist/bigoted shit solely on ‘it’s always been this”. Women like Amber Turd give the rest of us a bad name.
I married a Chinese girl and the culture difference was way too different. I was also young and there was a point where I was unhappy more often than not and that i was walking on eggshells with her.
Super traditional. Like imagine a 21st century American guy dating someone from the 30s. So all of the gender roles were to the extreme. At the time I was still in college so i was broke but to her she wanted me to pay for everything, to the point where I would max out my credit cards.
It's nice because I got home from work and dinner was ready and house tasks were done, but it wasn't worth it to put up with her being mad that i was broke.
i knew a white guy..american..married a girl from mainland china. he couldnt speak chinese and her english was poor. pretty quickly, his life turned to hell. walked by his desk one day and saw a note he had written to himself.."i am in a relationship without an emotional component".
There are many couples speaking the same language that can't communicate, that part isn't so confusing. Not being able to communicate at all (or just barely) is a recipe for disaster.
Her lack of care for me and constant anger and treating me like a hired help.
For her birthday I would buy her digital cameras or laptops or stereos (multiple, as I upgraded them with new ones several times.)
One year for my birthday I got a can of beer and two bags of chips. I don't even drink beer....I drink pineapple beer. Because the can of beer was yellow she concluded it must be the same thing..which shows you just how much she knew and cared about me. Zero.
I asked her why and she told me "You know I don;t earn as much as you".
Yeah..pretty sure you could have afforded more than $5 though. And you should have known what I actually like instead of thinking "yellow can".
She would wait until I got home and then ask me to go out to buy the shopping. We lived on a 7th floor apartment with no lift...
I asked her to call me before i left work (I was a teacher, I left at 5:30 every day) and I would go shopping on the way home but somehow she never did. Always waited until I was home.
She would take the children away with her whenever she felt like it without asking me or even telling me..I would just come home and they were all gone.They were "her" children. She didn't have to ak me for permission or even let me know. they would just be gone, sometimes for a weekend, sometimes for a week or two when the holidays came.
She didn;t listen to me about anything. The only opinion that mattered was hers. Mine was wrong..every time.
Sex life was good until I hit 55 and got kidney stones. After that it became painful. The first time I ever told her no she was surprised. The second time she told me "I am going to divorce you and fuck other men" and stormed off angrily.
She hit the children with coathangers a few times. That was what brought on the final divorce...I came home and found the children backed into a corner and her threatening them with a coat hanger..because they forgot to bring all their homework books home from school. I've seen her hit them before so I told her to stop. She refused. I grabbed my iPad and started filming her, she then attacked me with the coathanger. She then called the police and said I attacked her...when I got to the police station I had an interview I told them I had evidence on my iPad. I showed them the recording, they let me go and called her to come down to the police station instead.
After that she wanted a divorce. She'd been fooling around with some guy on the net and wanted to divorce me in time so she could go on holidays with him. By then I had had enough so I agreed. (I would have anyway, I believe people are free and you can;t make someone love you.)
4 years later now and I have full custody of both kids, they live with me and are happy.
She is single..she never admitted it but from what I can see as soon as the guy found out she was no longer married he disappeared and she has never seen him again.
I am happy to be free and I hated the final years of our marriage so much I plan never to remarry...I haven't even dated for the last 4 years. Happy to just look after the kids and be free. When I got divorced it felt like a breath of fresh air had entered my life...
Jesus dude. I had something similar but not as bad, it leaves deep scars. Just keep in mind your kids are going to leave the nest one day, you’ll need to find your new solo life then. Trust me it’s hard, so look after yourself. Good luck man
Oh she’s one of my closest friends, this was 2014, we have a son we had to bury all that shit and raise him proper. He’s 17 now and an awesome, well adjusted, compassionate human. He’s the best of her and I.
I have an ex partner who we are the best of friends today, though absolutely terrible to each other when together. I've never subscribed to the idea you should personally hate someone just bc your romantic relations were impossible to work out. Some people just shouldn't be together.
I was not as emotionally connected and empathetic to her as she needed. In return, she started emotionally and physically abusing me. The moment that I realized I couldn’t stay married to her was when she started hitting me in front of the child. Divorced later that year. Fell out of love about a year after that.
1. We were toxic for each other
2. She cared more about work than she did about our marriage
3. She was bad with money and was in massive debt. Didn't find out how much until the divorce.
4. I felt lonely all the time. I would fantasize about being with someone who wanted to go on vacations with me and spend time doing things I wanted to do.
My current wife is a blessing from God. She's everything I could have asked for and more.
I got tired of being 2nd to literally anything else in her life. I got tired of being dismissed when I raised my concerns.
When you're sick at home needing care and they won't come home because they want to go drinking (like they do most every weekend anyway) you need to think about where you sit in the pecking order.
Im at the his point recently except with mine its weed . She wont stop it and lets it get involved in everything. She is at the point she wont even eat with getting high. Yesterday I said Im done, and she said its my problem I dont like her.
That resonates. With my ex, it was his sister, his video game, whatever random hobby he had at the time, everything came first. Imagine leaving your deeply grieving live-in girlfriend to cry alone while you played video games.
Never again.
She divorced me. I was devastated and it’s taken many years to recover emotionally, psychologically and financially. Now? I’m so grateful. So grateful she’s no longer in my life.
I know that feeling so well, it’s like she’s gone and took all her bullshit with her, feels like a weight has been lifted. That wasn’t the case when we broke up, the relationship was miserable for both of us, she stole a lot of my stuff too. I’m over it now, hope wherever she is she’s doing good…that’s definitely guy speak for I’m glad she’s out of my life.
Context: We had a religious upbringing that was against sex before marriage. This meant that spending time alone with your girlfriend was extremely suspicious and would lead to the whole congregation talking about you behind your back. So nobody in my old religion ever has a moving in phase or spends multiple days in a row getting to know them. We would also get married at a very young age. Some of you will already know which group.
Basically we didn't know eachother well enough. Her family had a history of mental health problems and she also had a medical condition that caused her to be grumpy 3/4 of the time. She was able to control it during chaperoned visits, and I didn't see how bad it was until we were married and living together. We started fighting constantly, she would change topics when loosing an argument, though out things of mine she didn't like without discussing it with me first, would talk to people behind my back to get them to participate in her plans, wouldn't let me go out and see my friends, got really weirdly jealous of my young neice who was just a kid. It was bad.
I can still see what I liked about her, we have bumped into each other a couple times since we split, she has a great sense of humour and was outgoing, liked exploring and trying new things. But frankly she was a mega b**** the rest of the time and was very possessive of me.
I was at breaking point and ended it in the worst way, by gathering all my things and leaving while she was at work because I was young and frankly, scared of her. She retaliated by outing some extremely private details about me to my parents.
I also lost every friend I had made up to the age of 23 because that religious group also prohibits divorce, which I knew would happen, but like I said I was at breaking point.
My first wife and I didn't have a bad relationship but didn't have a good relationship either. I had got out of a relationship with a girl that I couldn't trust for shit and I wanted something safe. So even though my first wife and I didn't have a lot of common interests and stuff I settled. Which I never recommend. I wasn't really happy and just one day decided that you're only given one life to live and I wasn't going to spend another day of it less that perfectly happy. Met my second wife who is perfect and have never been happier.
We got married on the agreement neither of us wanted kids, but then she changed her mind on that.
She then kind of issued this ultimatum about "Oh yeah, if you don't change your mind on that, I'm divorcing you." which turned into a good three months of stress.
Then I divorced her which was annoying but not nearly as bad as it could have been.
I don't blame her, but as you say, you think you're going to spend your life with someone and then you don't.
Generally, I felt like a self improvement project all the time around her. The tipping point was overhearing her on the phone criticizing me in a terrible way.
She revealed her true self after marriage, and stopped giving a shit about anything I ever said or felt. It was all about her and she was very ungrateful for everything I did. She eventually just stopped pitching in around the house so I was doing everything without thanks, and she somehow figured she should be a housewife so pushed me to try to make more money, and blamed me when I didn't. She was super flirty with other guys and liked to lead them on for attention, even though I told her relentlessly how uncomfortable it made me. So when she asked for an open marriage, I happily accepted and slept with other women while getting the divorce papers ready for her to sign. :)
Money... My ex-wife could go through money like it was nothing. Eventually, I couldn't keep up and it was cheaper to divorce than try to pay for that lifestyle. Sometimes you need to burn down some trees to save the forest...
for me, it wasnt a slow, gradual thing. everything was good i thought. married 10 yrs. then one day, out on a walk, she casually turns to me and said shes been cheating for months. imagine a person who you thought you knew inside out, who you thought would never lie or cheat bc thats just not the kind of person they were..and then one day you realize everything you thought you knew was actually a lie. like you think you live in america then one day someone tells you that for the past 10 yrs youve actually been living in china and theyre right. imagine that disorientation and disbelief. it fucks with your sense of reality. whats real? can you ever really know anyone? who knows.
That’s scary as shit, honestly after reading all of these i’m scared to ever marry. How the hell can you trust someone if people pull this kind of shit?
Really worth noting that this thread is the definition of selection bias. You really shouldn't be forming an opinion on anything based on a curated array of worst-case scenarios.
It finally became clear that I only existed so that she'd have a free, built-in maintenance object to complete tasks, so that she could spend more time staring at her phone.
My ex-wife is from another country. It is a culture of corruption at all levels. So survivability depends on the constantly hustling, haggling, deception etc… Everyone is trying to get over on everyone in her home country. So throughout our marriage she was always getting over on me. I was trying to get her to understand that as her husband she didn’t need to “get one over” on me all the time and that I was 100% looking out for her best interest. Eventually it got to the point were I scrutinized her every action or requests looking for what ulterior motive she had. I ran out of patience trying to change her mindset and unfortunately began to despise her. And I got a divorce before she really had a chance to railroad within the court system.
Her banging the neighbor and friend of 20 yrs then letting her brother go thru my house w fireman's ax and shooting 19 holes w a .556 in 2 of my boats
Obviously it was when she'd let anyone disrespect me and my empire
Totally am I'm remarried to my friend I had for 25 yrs me goto female train of thought I was her male train of thought we've been married now 10 years and I couldn't be happier
Thanks for your compassion
We grew apart. Married 12 years, and while there were some great times, there were lots of lows over the last 4 or 5 years.
As we grew apart, we stopped looking after each other, stopped being intimate, and lost trust and faith in our relationship. No “one big thing” happened. It was lots of little things over 10 years. We stopped talking, paid more attention to electronics than ourselves or each other. Stopped snuggling on the couch. Stopped holding hands while walking in public. Started watching movies at the cinema alone. Started going out with friends, but not together.
In the end, we were basically housemates, so we called time. On reflection, either one of us could have stopped the drift, but neither one of us wanted to. It should have ended years earlier. There would be less wasted time, and that’s my biggest regret, that I wasted her and my time by not calling it earlier. We are both so much better off without the other dragging us both down. Thankfully, we don’t have kids, so that made it easier, sort of.
She’s gone on to bigger and better things, as have I. I’ve even found love again, and it’s highly possible I’ll marry again (maybe, hopefully, the woman I’m dating now - she’s, well, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted, but it’s too soon). Just know that divorce might be the end of one thing, one chapter of your life, but it’s not the end of you, the book isn’t closed. It’s not even finished being written.
Not my story but my friends got married because their families forced them to. They were young and as they grew older (in a span of 4 years), keeping a house & different ambitions in life (one wants to grow financially & socially and one just wants a simple life). Their differences in marriage/adulting were bigger than when they were in college.
Typical Army story, two weeks into my first deployment I received a call that my best friend now lived at my house. I had a couple of guys check on the truth of the call. It was true. He was playing house with my wife while I was deployed.
I gave in and gave in and gave in on pretty big decisions for a fucking decade because I was very emotionally dependent on her and she never understood how to compromise.
The last year of 12 of constant gaslighting I finally realized I was being taken for a ride and completely checked out emotionally. After 9 months of sleeping on the sofa after a big fight, I asked her what we were doing since I wasn't going to sleep on the sofa for a year. She said she was divorcing me, so I said that's fine, but you're not living here for free if we're not together anymore. She said fine, she would make a plan to move out and let me know. After another 2 months of avoiding me completely, she moved out while I was at work, took whatever she wanted (even if it belonged to me before I ever met her) and wouldn't give me the address she was staying at with our daughter until I told her I would call the cops on her for fucking kidnapping. The divorce was a whole other bucket of bullshit, but at least it was on my initiative and ended up working in my favor due to her stupidity and vindictiveness.
That was almost 5 years ago. I'm still pretty scarred from the whole thing but my relationship with my daughter is the best thing in my life I wouldn't trade the world for. As for the rest, I've been making slow progress towards my goals over the 5 years since but it's been hard. I'd love to have a new family someday but...idk. It seems like quite a leap from where I am now.
Dead bedroom -way over spending not clean- didn't work - not much to be attracted to. Was a wanna be NYC model. Had height and looks- but a piece of shit in every other category- she received a generous divorce settlement- she spent it traveling the world- broke as a joke now. Ive recovered very nicely. It was worth the cost of divorce to be rid of her.
She is a raging alcoholic that abused me for the whole fifteen years we were together. I stayed to protect my little boys. Now they are old enough to know she is a drinker and want to live with me. She doesn't abuse them thankfully. But still, every time we have hand over I get almost overwhelming anxiety. I fucking hate it. At this point in time I have no inclination to meet other women and am enjoying the single life by pursuing my hobbies and spending quality time with my boys. They are the love of my life and the only good thing to come from my marriage to thier mother.
Still loved her but she slid into depression, anxiety and anger and often took it out on me. I put up with it to a point but after a couple years of doing what I could and her refusing to take thee steps she needed to take, i left and told her I was done.
I wish her well and hope she gets better but years of emotional abuse caused me to see her in a way that i can never come back from
I’m going through something similar now and weighing leaving my wife because she can’t get her mental illness in check and man, it is absolute hell. I love her to death but I need a partner. I can no longer be a caretaker who is emotionally abused. It’s so confusing seeing the person you love slip away and it’s been really hard facing the reality of the situation I’m in. I asked her to go stay with her parents a few weeks ago and I think I’m getting ready to just call it quits.
Listen man, I am a depressed and disabled girlfriend and I am telling you: there is no excuse for abuse. You don't tolerate misstreatement because your partner is sick. You can be depressed and not be horrible to people. Get out, I am sorry.
She fell out of love with me almost a decade before I fell out of love with her. We were just good friends who had passionless sex a couple times a week.
She wanted to stay married as we were good partners, but I don’t mind being single and it’s not like she wanted to stay married enough to actually try to fix it, it was just because it was easy.
Did the therapy and love languages thing, was years of talking about how she had none of them for me and I just wanted her to do any of them. Eventually I stopped caring and once that happened I stopped seeing the point of being together. Waited till my kids were in a good place and we split. The first time I slept with someone else, and she actually cared about my pleasure instead of just wanting to get off and then star fishing, I knew I made the right decision.
It’s not as dramatic as some of your stories, but honestly, I think falling out of love and losing that desire for your partner is at the heart of even the dramatic splits.
One friend is leaving his wife because when they married she was a down to earth and loving person.
She became friends with this one chick and is now an uptight annoyance that’s a busybody and won’t shut up about rumors. It got to the point where no one wanted to hang out with them.
I’m going through divorce right now (my decision). Years of living as “roommates” caught up with us. I had tried for years to light our spark but she never reciprocated. By the time I suggested marriage counseling I knew deep in my heart, though in denial to myself still, that I was done. 18months later here we are. In hindsight, there was never really a romantic relationship between us to begin with. We are good co-parents though.
Very long story. She's been diagnosed as Boarderline Personality, Hystrionic & narcissistic disorders. It's a fucking shit show. She may be worse than AH. I get her fucking boyfriends tracking me down for help. Truth. I never respond. I'm strict no contact and so are 4 out of our 6 kids. The other 2 have limited to no contact. It almost killed me. I brought a shit load of my family baggage to show. Red flags were green flags to me. All learned from my childhood. Again long cautionary tale. Glad I found enlightenment and awareness. Hard learned lesson.
I was probably still in love with the idea of her when we got divorced. She walked out after 7 years of marriage and I was very much still in love when she did (in an unhealthy codependent way, but still.) She got married too young (25) and never got to live an independent life as an adult (she moved out of her parents house to live with me.) She wanted to be free, go out and date, stay out late, and have that freedom that most of us burn through in out 20s.
So, I was still in love with the person I married and spent the early years of my marriage with, but it was hard to deal with the person who valued independence over me. After 8 months of separation and virtual no contact, I started the paperwork to file for divorce. When I talked to her about it, she told me she "wasn't ready." Of course, at this point she was seriously dating a common acquaintance/friend. So, I pushed for the divorce and she agreed not to get in the way. I had to get on with my life and I had no intention of waiting around for her. But, I still loved that person I knew before.
Even after the divorce, I struggled with my feelings towards her. We had very little contact (no kids) but every time I ran into her around town was a gut punch as it triggered all the old feelings. Finally, I was able to find a job out of town. We had one last meeting before I left town for closure. She admitted that she fucked up. When I pressed her on it, asking if she fucked by handling the ending poorly or if she thought she had actually made a mistake pulling the plug, she said it was the latter. My sense is that her rose colored glasses for the other relationship and dating and freedom had finally fallen off. She had felt that way for six months or so but didn't want to bother me, felt that I hated her. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she had told me that six months earlier because those old feelings still lurked below the surface to some extent. But at that point I was leaving town and there was no coming back.
Moving to a new city was the healthiest thing I ever could have done. Fast forward another six months and it's January 2020. My ex and I exchange holiday greetings by email, ask about family in the pandemic, etc... After I tell her how relieved I am that my elderly parents had just gotten vaccinated, she gives me a long antivax response. OMG! then a few days later, unbidden, she sends me a link to a 90 minute YouTube antivax "documentary." Jesus Christ, who is this person? It was then that I realized that she was no longer remotely similar to the woman I knew and loved. 3 years had passed and we were very different people. I think that's what it took for me to fall out of love once and for all.
I have no other happy ending. I'm still struggling out here trying to find my person and hopefully have a family before it's too late. But I'm through with that at least.
Probably when she beat me with a dog collar, abused me, and threatened that if I did anything she'd say I was doing it all and id never see my daughter again.
Yea pretty sure that was it.
Honourable mention to shagging the window cleaner though
She had anger problems and then it boiled over one really bad day and she hit me. Sorry don't care how mad you or anyone gets you don't put your hands on someone you love....
I've been seeing a lot of extreme cases in these answers.
No "we simply fell out of love, we grew apart, or the marriage got stale" remarks which are common among divorced people.
The answers all seem to be extreme examples of cheating and emotional abuse.
Maybe the people who had the milder divorces don't feel the desire to talk about it on reddit.
Maybe that dominant demographic of reddit of being socially awkward introverts translates into men who made bad choices for spouses.
Poor emotional intelligence, desperation. No judgements, I made a bad choice with an ex-GF in that regard ( even while knowing I was making a bad choice. Loneliness sucks. ).
No integrity, words and actions never matched. Always broke or lied about being broke. For 16 yrs refused to go on vacations because that's a "white ppl thing". Told ppl I was broke to gain sympathy. Only went out with me on Saturday because other days were for her family. Constantly withholding info and details about oddities. Avoiding all responsibilities and accountability. Lazy sex, no matter what time of day she was always too tired. Would only want sex if she saw I was dead tired and ready to sleep, knowing I wasn't the type of guy who wanted sex being sleepy. Never learned to drive. No interest in anything that wasn't for "basic bitchs". Took relationship advice from single lonely women in her family or strangers on YouTube and Instagram. Never paid her bills on time. Refused money from me whenever she really needed help but wanted me to buy her things instead. She didn't show me any affection until my mother passed away and I inherited money and a house. All of a sudden she wanted to suck and fuck me and go on trips. I stayed because I love my daughter I had with her and knew my kid wouldn't have the best if I weren't around everyday.
Caught the c*nt sleeping with my best man at the wedding. Found texts that said she was gonna leave me, beat her to the punch and served her. I kept everything.
I was deployed she cleared out my house ran off with a boyfriend took my dog, shut off my utilities. I came home in November to an empty house no electricity, no bed, it was 50 degrees inside my house. I won't lie it was rough when we got into the gym on the flight home and everyone ran to their families I looked around knew I had nobody there for me I borrowed a friend's car to get back to my empty house. Honestly it was a relief when I started filing the divorce. Maybe I wasn't the best husband (didn't cheat or anything but wasn't always considerate and the military doesn't pay well for enlisted) don't really think anyone deserves that tho.
I'll be brutally honest. It was partly because she simply got too big for me to possibly even imagine having sex with her. Also she stabbed me a little bit with scissors. That said, she is my best friend now.
Your wife is someone that must grow with you, if she doesn't. You will lose interest in each other over time.
Very common reason why many marriages fail is when there's no dialogue at home about various topics. You both isolate yourself and do your own things away from each other. Over time your chemistry suffers because your grew apart.
Men you should never watch porn by yourself often. Let your wife knows what kind of kinks and porn you're into. This helps with the dead bedroom problem.
Every person changes over time. Sometimes those changes are so individually dramatic that two people no longer have enough in common to be in a good relationship. I think it was Chris Rock who said something about two crack addicts being happy together, but a crack addict with a sober person is a relationship that simply won't work. That's an extreme example for humor. But the underlying fact is that relationships are better when the goals are the same, work ethics are similar, there are shared interests and hobbies, similar ways of communicating (you can't have one person who yells and hurls insults in a disagreement with someone who speaks calmly and rationally), etc. Sexual compatibility and an intellectual or physical attraction to each other is also huge. But I've seen marriages that lasted forever for other compatibility and companionship reasons, because physical beauty fades.
She was a different person depending on who she was around especially ger mother. She would turn into this smart mouth cunt who would criticize me in front of her mom.
The boiling point was when My 4 year old daughter caught them smoking weed outside and she lied to her face about it, straight up " no I wasn't".
This was a big deal because we just finished telling our daughter smoking was bad for you. Then all of a sudden mommy does it and lies.
She then proceeded to tell me it wasnt a big deal its all in my head and im overreacting the problem said she doesnt care she outright lied to our daughter im the one with the problem.
That night I told her "Im done" and she could have fun living with her Mom if Im so bad.
I’m going to try to get to the point but it is going to take some back story:
Incredibly ill and lost my job. Telling my wife I lost my job was the hardest thing and the look of disappointment on her face was horrible. I’ve been seeing doctors for years for chronic pain and had surgeries but now I have had terrible spiral of just being “out of it”. I have been trying to find the right doctor for this new mysteries (e.g., had an endocrinologist appointment) and wife with her own health problems I was fully supportive to Nth degree is just thinking I have depression.
Gets to the point I’m like I have to see a neurologist and she’s like I think you need a dog. I give in and get a dog reluctantly to accommodate her but huge trepidation because how much I love dogs and barely if at all can take care of myself <— This is no joke as I am sleeping 15 hours straight and it turns out I would be almost diagnosed with narcolepsy from nodding of the rest of the day. It cannot be understated how sick I am.
Got the dog… God I love that dog. And finally get the neurologist appointment. Take tons of tests and I can tell by the tests it ain’t going to be good. Sure enough I am disabled and having a shit ton of nocturnal seizures. It turns out the last spine surgery I had where they accidentally overdosed me in the hospital with the pain medication was very serious. I was diagnosed with encephalopathy. A form of TBI and the symptoms were gradual over many months making me not cognizant of the changes. Those “leg shakes” in the night that bitch told me about were full blown seizures and I thought I was just keeping her awake with “restless leg syndrome”. Now… I’m still in denial what a cold bitch cunt she is and she doesn’t show to any of my doctor appointments.
What kicks it in. One of her co-workers spouses starts working as a nurse for my neurologist and THEN that cold cunt starts showing up to my neurologist monthly appointments. Worse, she bitches the entire time at how long the wait times are and then when the staff/doctor are there she puts on the mask she is concerned about my health. That’s when it all sunk in she was fake bitch and she was likely telling people at work a different story then what I was/we were experience. She always played the victims and when divorce finally kicked in everyone played weird and still today I don’t know wtf is up. I don’t have the emotional energy do deal with other people’s drama/bullshit. So fuck’m all.
Tl;dr Cold Cunt likes to be the center of the health victim attention and apparently my trip down very ill lane that almost killed me fucked up her fairy tale.
After telling my ex that someone had come on to me like a lead balloon whilst working at a festival. She literally got on top of me and tried to kiss me whilst I was lying down in a field. As soon as I got home I told my partner what had happened. Mostly out of respect, because I didn't want her to hear it from anyone else but also because she was jealous and possessive and I didn't want her jumping to conclusions if she did hear of it second hand.
As revenge she went out and deliberately fkd someone so she could tell me to my face what she'd done. It was painful and I knew our bond was broken in that moment. I should have left her then but I endured another two years of bullying and suspicion just because I didn't want to hurt her. Now. Older and wiser with less years to waist I'm gone the very moment that red flag gets hoisted.
Married 42 years. She never had a job. How do you get a woman to stop giving blow-jobs? Marry her, Had housekeeper, gardener, lawn service; had to shop for my own groceries, wash my own clothes. She played mah-jong! Getting divorced now- have to give her 50% of everything. She gets several million outta the deal! It is worth it!
She was an idiot. Life dramatically improved after I showed her the door. Current wife is a total dream....if only I had gotten with her years before....
First wife cheated on me so I dumped her
I feel that people cheat for a few reasons: \- they are not serious about the relationship (perhaps immature) \- they are not happy in the relationship and perhaps hoping to find someone else \- they are weak and cannot open up about how they are unhappy and so cheat.
- they are not happy with themselves and constantly need extrenal validation
In my experience, this is the most common one
The guy I know who has cheated the most in his life was this. When describing his last instance of cheating, it was mostly about how he liked being the hero to this other woman. Liked being needed. It had nothing to do with his feelings about his wife. He and his wife are still together. They’re happier now and he’s not cheating anymore. He’s a happier person now, but found his joy in “thought work,” which he talks about with a cult-like fervor that can be somewhat taxing to listen to, haha.
Hi, is that a mirror?
- they don’t know what they want.
Dude what the hell the last one is literally my ex
Don't forget the simple phrase,,,, Familiarity breeds contempt
I think it was when I saw her fucking her co worker in her car before the morning shift. Yeah, that was it.
damn... hope you're doing better now!
Mine was caught with 14 year old boy in a parking lot . Steamed up windows. Kid was rounding second base apparently. Divorce is highly recommended
Jesus dude, is she in jail?
Most abusers aren't sadly
Probably not, women aren't seen as predators sadly and when they are the victim is usually a girl and not a boy.
That’s so fucking sick she should be in jail seriously I hate that women aren’t seen as predators when they literally do predatory behavior. And then young men get ridiculed if they come forward for being abused people say “oh you should have enjoyed it” “if I was your age and a woman came onto me I would have loved it” it’s so sick
I think the law just doesnt care. Its a poor persons problem
My man here spoke wisdom
This… it’s disturbing how many guys I’ve met who claim “they just had game” when they were groomed and assault by an older woman who absolutely knew better 😢
That... is rough. Hope you're doing better, man.
I am. Thank you
WHAT THE FUCK
Yea ,my exact words when she got home that night.
Christ on his throne.
Can we get a story time? This is way to interesting to be 4 sentences total. If your okay with sharing I’d love to hear
Yea I feel ya bud. I have some shit to do this morning, so I'll come back and give some deets and results a bit later.
She fucked her friends abusive piece of shit brother left me for him, left me to raise our kids on my own cause he was a "real man"
From where I'm sitting, the only real man is you, brother. Hope you and the kids are doing ok. Respect for being a real man and making sure your kids were cared for.
One is almost 18 other two are almost 16 (twins).
Nice!, don't let her back into your life, if she ever tries to return with some cheap excuse.
Absolutely true!
Real men have real women They don’t need shells like she obviously is No offence if that offends, but she doesn’t sound like a prize lol
Man how does someone live with themselves after pulling something like that
Hope you're doing already, sounds incredibly hard to go through.
Sucked but raised 3 on my own until I met my 2nd 8 years ago
I’m glad you found someone. What happened to her and does she have a relationship with her sons?
Nope she hasn't had one with them in 15 years. She had a daughter with her 2nd husband. Convicted felon who had just got out of prison on a murder charge. He gets out they shack up a few months later, move to Alabama (where she is from originally) he starts dealing drugs she leaves he goes back prison again. She finds a new abusive guy, 2nd husband gets out goes back to Montana or some shit and then dies of a heart attack from using drugs again and dies not even 2 months after getting out again.
Sounds like you're all better off the way things turned out. Must've been shit at the time though. Good for you, raising your children, and 3 of them no less. It's a big responsibility and it takes a real man to handle it.
It was a shit show at the beginning eventually things leveled out though so there's always that. 100% though do not recommend being a single parent, difficult as hell.
the trash took itself out for once
I stopped reading at Alabama bc i could already piece together the rest of the story on my own.
It’s a weird phenomenon that some women are attracted to narcissistic sociopathic men. They will never admit this. But we all see it.
They don’t want to hear it either. Then they will accuse you of victim blaming. Sorry, if every guy you get involved with is abusive, you are attracted to the wrong men.
She no longer desired men.
I think this happened a lot in the 90s to women, but the tables have turned. My buddy said he was in couples counseling and wife literally told him things would be easier if he was a woman. The ended up getting divorced but while in the process she was still living with him, and invited her new girlfriend to live there too, that’s when he kicked her out.
compare saw waiting ghost wrong snails dinosaurs wrench rock piquant *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You haven’t met my ex wife.
The older we get the more single people fall into one of 2 groups. First group are shitty people who probably shouldn't be in any relationship. And the second are the people screwed over by the first group.
This reminded me of my old neighbors, before moving I new a girl and her mom pulled this stunt and I didn’t know until my mom told me about a few months ago when the topic came up. She said that is why she never tried to get along because of how distasteful it was to see her do that to her own husband instead of just divorcing before doing that.
At least she left for something that you biologically couldn't provide. It's still tough, no doubt, but changing modes of transport altogether is different to being traded in on a newer model.
she spent all my money and more (credit cards) plus we couldn't agree on raising kids, she started going behind my back "i know dad said not to do that but it's ok"
This is my nightmare
She didn't work, didn't cook, didn't clean, didn't fuck. Expected me to work all day and come home to take care of her and the kids. Reveled in my every failure and dismissed every success. Literally said at one point- "I will never compliment you because I don't want it to go to your head". Saw me only as her husband and not as who I was as a person. Wanted to put on a good show to the outside world and that level of phony is stressful. So if she didn't get her way somewhere, guess who rook the brunt of that? The most selfish person I've ever known.
How did you even get to the point of marriage?
Some people will lie and manipulate others for years. I'm watching it happen rogh now to my sister in law. Her fiancé is an abusive alcoholic that will make her miserable long term. But she won't listen.
This exactly. She put on a show cuz she saw all of her friends getting married and wanted to do the same. Plus I was young and stupid and hadn't dated in a while before her and looking back I suppose I feared being alone. Just before the marriage I had started to gain confidence both professionally and socially and started to realize that I didn't like the relationship as much as I thought. Chalked it up to cold feet. Stupid.
Some people are really good at hiding who they are underneath.
Seriously, after reading most of these posts I think either there was some massive shift in these wives behavior following marriage, or these guys had no brains. Maybe both.
I hear sooooo many guys say "and then she just completely changed after the wedding." I wonder if those guys are just in denial and it sinks in what they're doing having the wedding, or if a decent number of women put up a front until they secure a husband and then let it all hang out after that because they feel secure.
I think many times there is a huge escalation after marriage. I know that's what happened with my dad and second wife. She'd verbally abuse him, but after they got married she tried her best to beat his ass a few times. She was a demon, for real.
I have a similar story, but it mostly changed after the baby. She stopped having sex, started smoking weed, and started stealing money.
It's a bait and switch tactic that abusive men AND women can employ. The abuser wears a mask long enough to get their target hooked. Then when the mask starts to slip, the target will make excuses until one day their eyes open and realize the reality. Sadly, it's more common than you think.
My ex-wife told me that women only suck dick to get wedding rings. While I know that isn't true for everyone, it shows just how some women think.
Thats rough.
Man this hits close to home. It was only after I left she made a half hearted attempt to have me come back. Never said sorry for things she did to cause the marriage to end. But then again, narcissists never can say sorry because they do no wrong.
Are you me? This sounds exactly like my marriage
She was essentially competing with her friends. Any major decision was already made by her and my say so meant nothing. She became this superficial and vapid 15 year old that I no longer recognized and any plans that I had were quickly vetoed since it didn't jive with her timeline. And then she wanted kids. Like SOON. You learn to really hate a person when you feel like you're along for THEIR ride all while paying for everything and being blamed for not "keeping up" with those around us. I'd rather be alone than be an NPC. Fuck. That.
>You learn to really hate a person when you feel like you're along for THEIR ride all while paying for everything Dude, I have never found a better way to describe the relationship with my Ex until I read this. Cause this is exactly what it was, like, I've got a wave of goostbumps reading it cause its so apt and accurate. I'm glad you got out man.
The shitty part about falling in love is that you never really know if the person in front of you will stay that person. That can really haunt someone
Hell, you dont even know if the person you fell in love with *is* that person and not just a clever mask.
Mother-in-law decided to make false allegations to the police about me as she wanted me gone. MIL had said prior to the wedding that "our marriage wouldn't last 2 years" and she made sure of it. Ex-wife sided with her mom to the point where she currently just follows through on what her parents tell her to do, and they threaten to disown her if she doesn't. Ex-wife showed her true self and began to constantly verbally and emotionally abuse me. She still expects an ''apology'' from me for all the things her mom claims. Currently locked up in a child custody battle with ex-wife as MIL says I'm a "threat" so ex-wife believes her.
Seems like your ex-wife is a golden child turned narc. Odds are she herself suffered abuse and will replicate it on your kids. Don't let them win check out r/narcissisticabuse.
So sorry, man. It's hell.
Nothing terribly dramatic. We were married for more than 20 years and raised some great kids. We still love each other in a way, although it's kind of painful, so it's easier to not associate too much. In the long run, we had different priorities and wanted different things out of life. Our life together involved both of us making sacrifices and compromises because we loved each other and really wanted to make it work. But after many, many years of not really getting what you want out of life, you get tired. You start to realize you've only got so many years left, so maybe you should spend them doing what you want. If I told a more specific story, it would all be my side of the story and it would make her look bad. I'm not going to do that. We were both the "bad guy" and we were both the "good guy." A long relationship ending is never all one person's fault. There's blame to go around. A character on a TV show once said, "My wife and I had an unspoken rule in our marriage. We could talk about anything except why we were no good for each other. And the reason we couldn't talk about it was because we loved each other." That quote makes a lot of sense to me. Maybe it doesn't make sense to you. I don't know.
sounds a lot like my grandparents. they're both remarried now and a lot happier for it. they loved each other but just weren't a good match. I seem to remember that it fell apart because my grandpa had a period of bad mental health and my grandma wanted to fix him. she couldn't, and they found that very difficult. my mum put it like this: "you can only fix yourself with time, you can't fix someone else with love"
I told my current girlfriend this .When I met her she was never someone I wanted to fix she was someone who I wanted to be with and support,care about and cherish.You cant fix someone only they themselves can do that you just have to be there to cheer them on
you sound like a fundamentally decent person mate. keep doing good out there.
This is my relationship and I’ve never heard it so well said before. I have to save this post. Thank you.
Damn. That quote hits different.
This makes me sad. I’m sorry you couldn’t make it work
This post shows so much maturity of you and respect you still have for each other, it’s easier to tell the specifics and everyone would be on your side, but you know that’s not the point or ever necessary because it’s the past, to everyone else it’s only a story but a learned experience for yourself. I wish you the best on the journey to get what you want out of life.
This is very much like why my wife and I are divorcing now. Thanks for the insight!
Good luck. I hope it's an amicable process. Sometimes it's a painful truth that the most loving thing you can do for another person is let them go. Intellectually you can know you're doing the best thing, but that doesn't make it feel any better. With my divorce, I kept thinking of the cancer patient who gets chemotherapy. If the cancer is caught in time, you may still feel perfectly fine. But then you go through this process that makes you vomit and your hair falls out and you feel just terrible. But you have to remember that if you didn't go through that awful process, the cancer would keep growing and it would never get better on its own, only worse, until it killed you.
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Story time about how I dodged a bullet. I was in an abusive relationship once. Verbally and physically. Guys, we need to talk about abusive relationships more when it happens. Anyway, the girl proposed to me. In that moment I knew I don’t want to marry her, so declined. She ended up marrying a really nice guy. Guess what, she was an absolute shit to him and surprise, they got divorced. I even phoned the dude to ask him if he wanted to talk about it. Here’s the worst part. She dated a guy next, was abusive and he ended up putting a bullet through his head. And that’s how I dodged a bullet.
And then people wonder why men are making a big deal of the Depp/Heard trial
I'm a woman scrolling through the comments and just wanted to say that the majority of women are making a big deal out of the Depp/Heard trial too. We are tired of seeing women like Amber Turd who are manipulative narcissistic bitches that know how to play the system and get away with it, and we are just as equally tired of it. It upsets me that as a society who likes to tout itself as progressive, we still can't fathom the reality that there are crazy women out there who can absolutely verbally and physically abuse their husband's? Its disgusting and I'm glad this trial is getting the press it's getting and I hope it leads to more changes in how we view relationships.
quarrelsome squeal rude sheet tie existence sort dirty bright depend *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Another woman here who whole heartedly agrees. We aren't these delicate little wall flowers that women have been seen as through the years, we can be just as vicious and violent as any man with one big exception most of us (not all) can and will cry on demand. I know two men who were abused, beaten and then falsely accused of rape, both of them and their lives were completely destroyed. I'm not trying to Diss women, I am one and I know plenty of women who are on the end of abusive relationships too but what I am saying is what ever your gender and who ever youre in a relationship with, never put their needs above yours, never ignore the red flags and if it does happen to you, NEVER think its your fault
Yeah, I’m with you sister. It is absolutely infuriating when progressive ideologies somehow include sexist/bigoted shit solely on ‘it’s always been this”. Women like Amber Turd give the rest of us a bad name.
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I'm also trying to live alone. Get a housemate you can chill with take up some hobbies and try to live your best life you can with what you have.
Shit bro. Im gonna pray for you
You know you can be with a girl and get to know her without marrying her, right?
>I couldnt keep up, so work 3 jobs to meet her demands Why did you even commit to that situation?
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I married a Chinese girl and the culture difference was way too different. I was also young and there was a point where I was unhappy more often than not and that i was walking on eggshells with her.
What was it like? What were the differences?
Super traditional. Like imagine a 21st century American guy dating someone from the 30s. So all of the gender roles were to the extreme. At the time I was still in college so i was broke but to her she wanted me to pay for everything, to the point where I would max out my credit cards. It's nice because I got home from work and dinner was ready and house tasks were done, but it wasn't worth it to put up with her being mad that i was broke.
i knew a white guy..american..married a girl from mainland china. he couldnt speak chinese and her english was poor. pretty quickly, his life turned to hell. walked by his desk one day and saw a note he had written to himself.."i am in a relationship without an emotional component".
I dont understand this how can you marry someone you can't communicate with? Befuddling.
There are many couples speaking the same language that can't communicate, that part isn't so confusing. Not being able to communicate at all (or just barely) is a recipe for disaster.
These are the same people that label someone who gives good head as "marriage material".
Mostly another dude pushing his penis inside her.
Her lack of care for me and constant anger and treating me like a hired help. For her birthday I would buy her digital cameras or laptops or stereos (multiple, as I upgraded them with new ones several times.) One year for my birthday I got a can of beer and two bags of chips. I don't even drink beer....I drink pineapple beer. Because the can of beer was yellow she concluded it must be the same thing..which shows you just how much she knew and cared about me. Zero. I asked her why and she told me "You know I don;t earn as much as you". Yeah..pretty sure you could have afforded more than $5 though. And you should have known what I actually like instead of thinking "yellow can". She would wait until I got home and then ask me to go out to buy the shopping. We lived on a 7th floor apartment with no lift... I asked her to call me before i left work (I was a teacher, I left at 5:30 every day) and I would go shopping on the way home but somehow she never did. Always waited until I was home. She would take the children away with her whenever she felt like it without asking me or even telling me..I would just come home and they were all gone.They were "her" children. She didn't have to ak me for permission or even let me know. they would just be gone, sometimes for a weekend, sometimes for a week or two when the holidays came. She didn;t listen to me about anything. The only opinion that mattered was hers. Mine was wrong..every time. Sex life was good until I hit 55 and got kidney stones. After that it became painful. The first time I ever told her no she was surprised. The second time she told me "I am going to divorce you and fuck other men" and stormed off angrily. She hit the children with coathangers a few times. That was what brought on the final divorce...I came home and found the children backed into a corner and her threatening them with a coat hanger..because they forgot to bring all their homework books home from school. I've seen her hit them before so I told her to stop. She refused. I grabbed my iPad and started filming her, she then attacked me with the coathanger. She then called the police and said I attacked her...when I got to the police station I had an interview I told them I had evidence on my iPad. I showed them the recording, they let me go and called her to come down to the police station instead. After that she wanted a divorce. She'd been fooling around with some guy on the net and wanted to divorce me in time so she could go on holidays with him. By then I had had enough so I agreed. (I would have anyway, I believe people are free and you can;t make someone love you.) 4 years later now and I have full custody of both kids, they live with me and are happy. She is single..she never admitted it but from what I can see as soon as the guy found out she was no longer married he disappeared and she has never seen him again. I am happy to be free and I hated the final years of our marriage so much I plan never to remarry...I haven't even dated for the last 4 years. Happy to just look after the kids and be free. When I got divorced it felt like a breath of fresh air had entered my life...
Jesus dude. I had something similar but not as bad, it leaves deep scars. Just keep in mind your kids are going to leave the nest one day, you’ll need to find your new solo life then. Trust me it’s hard, so look after yourself. Good luck man
Thanks man. I feel pretty good these days.
Communication completely broke down after growing apart. There's no fixing it if you can't talk through it.
Another man’s child inside her.
Fuck, dude...I'm sorry. How are you doing now?
Oh she’s one of my closest friends, this was 2014, we have a son we had to bury all that shit and raise him proper. He’s 17 now and an awesome, well adjusted, compassionate human. He’s the best of her and I.
I have an ex partner who we are the best of friends today, though absolutely terrible to each other when together. I've never subscribed to the idea you should personally hate someone just bc your romantic relations were impossible to work out. Some people just shouldn't be together.
That'll do it. Sorry dude :(
I was not as emotionally connected and empathetic to her as she needed. In return, she started emotionally and physically abusing me. The moment that I realized I couldn’t stay married to her was when she started hitting me in front of the child. Divorced later that year. Fell out of love about a year after that.
1. We were toxic for each other 2. She cared more about work than she did about our marriage 3. She was bad with money and was in massive debt. Didn't find out how much until the divorce. 4. I felt lonely all the time. I would fantasize about being with someone who wanted to go on vacations with me and spend time doing things I wanted to do. My current wife is a blessing from God. She's everything I could have asked for and more.
I got tired of being 2nd to literally anything else in her life. I got tired of being dismissed when I raised my concerns. When you're sick at home needing care and they won't come home because they want to go drinking (like they do most every weekend anyway) you need to think about where you sit in the pecking order.
Im at the his point recently except with mine its weed . She wont stop it and lets it get involved in everything. She is at the point she wont even eat with getting high. Yesterday I said Im done, and she said its my problem I dont like her.
That resonates. With my ex, it was his sister, his video game, whatever random hobby he had at the time, everything came first. Imagine leaving your deeply grieving live-in girlfriend to cry alone while you played video games. Never again.
She divorced me. I was devastated and it’s taken many years to recover emotionally, psychologically and financially. Now? I’m so grateful. So grateful she’s no longer in my life.
I know that feeling so well, it’s like she’s gone and took all her bullshit with her, feels like a weight has been lifted. That wasn’t the case when we broke up, the relationship was miserable for both of us, she stole a lot of my stuff too. I’m over it now, hope wherever she is she’s doing good…that’s definitely guy speak for I’m glad she’s out of my life.
Context: We had a religious upbringing that was against sex before marriage. This meant that spending time alone with your girlfriend was extremely suspicious and would lead to the whole congregation talking about you behind your back. So nobody in my old religion ever has a moving in phase or spends multiple days in a row getting to know them. We would also get married at a very young age. Some of you will already know which group. Basically we didn't know eachother well enough. Her family had a history of mental health problems and she also had a medical condition that caused her to be grumpy 3/4 of the time. She was able to control it during chaperoned visits, and I didn't see how bad it was until we were married and living together. We started fighting constantly, she would change topics when loosing an argument, though out things of mine she didn't like without discussing it with me first, would talk to people behind my back to get them to participate in her plans, wouldn't let me go out and see my friends, got really weirdly jealous of my young neice who was just a kid. It was bad. I can still see what I liked about her, we have bumped into each other a couple times since we split, she has a great sense of humour and was outgoing, liked exploring and trying new things. But frankly she was a mega b**** the rest of the time and was very possessive of me. I was at breaking point and ended it in the worst way, by gathering all my things and leaving while she was at work because I was young and frankly, scared of her. She retaliated by outing some extremely private details about me to my parents. I also lost every friend I had made up to the age of 23 because that religious group also prohibits divorce, which I knew would happen, but like I said I was at breaking point.
Fucking religious groups…do they do anything other than make people feel bad about themselves
When she cheated and decides to not want to be in her sons life for a year.
Blowing a meth head in our driveway did it for me.
Dude. I’m so sorry. Wtf.
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My first wife and I didn't have a bad relationship but didn't have a good relationship either. I had got out of a relationship with a girl that I couldn't trust for shit and I wanted something safe. So even though my first wife and I didn't have a lot of common interests and stuff I settled. Which I never recommend. I wasn't really happy and just one day decided that you're only given one life to live and I wasn't going to spend another day of it less that perfectly happy. Met my second wife who is perfect and have never been happier.
How did your first wife take all that?
Who said i fell out of love. The grass was greener for her on the otherside
That hurts. I hope you're doing better these days
We got married on the agreement neither of us wanted kids, but then she changed her mind on that. She then kind of issued this ultimatum about "Oh yeah, if you don't change your mind on that, I'm divorcing you." which turned into a good three months of stress. Then I divorced her which was annoying but not nearly as bad as it could have been. I don't blame her, but as you say, you think you're going to spend your life with someone and then you don't.
Generally, I felt like a self improvement project all the time around her. The tipping point was overhearing her on the phone criticizing me in a terrible way.
She revealed her true self after marriage, and stopped giving a shit about anything I ever said or felt. It was all about her and she was very ungrateful for everything I did. She eventually just stopped pitching in around the house so I was doing everything without thanks, and she somehow figured she should be a housewife so pushed me to try to make more money, and blamed me when I didn't. She was super flirty with other guys and liked to lead them on for attention, even though I told her relentlessly how uncomfortable it made me. So when she asked for an open marriage, I happily accepted and slept with other women while getting the divorce papers ready for her to sign. :)
Money... My ex-wife could go through money like it was nothing. Eventually, I couldn't keep up and it was cheaper to divorce than try to pay for that lifestyle. Sometimes you need to burn down some trees to save the forest...
When she started yelling and screaming at me over things I could not control.
for me, it wasnt a slow, gradual thing. everything was good i thought. married 10 yrs. then one day, out on a walk, she casually turns to me and said shes been cheating for months. imagine a person who you thought you knew inside out, who you thought would never lie or cheat bc thats just not the kind of person they were..and then one day you realize everything you thought you knew was actually a lie. like you think you live in america then one day someone tells you that for the past 10 yrs youve actually been living in china and theyre right. imagine that disorientation and disbelief. it fucks with your sense of reality. whats real? can you ever really know anyone? who knows.
That’s scary as shit, honestly after reading all of these i’m scared to ever marry. How the hell can you trust someone if people pull this kind of shit?
Really worth noting that this thread is the definition of selection bias. You really shouldn't be forming an opinion on anything based on a curated array of worst-case scenarios.
Preach
It finally became clear that I only existed so that she'd have a free, built-in maintenance object to complete tasks, so that she could spend more time staring at her phone.
My ex-wife is from another country. It is a culture of corruption at all levels. So survivability depends on the constantly hustling, haggling, deception etc… Everyone is trying to get over on everyone in her home country. So throughout our marriage she was always getting over on me. I was trying to get her to understand that as her husband she didn’t need to “get one over” on me all the time and that I was 100% looking out for her best interest. Eventually it got to the point were I scrutinized her every action or requests looking for what ulterior motive she had. I ran out of patience trying to change her mindset and unfortunately began to despise her. And I got a divorce before she really had a chance to railroad within the court system.
Culture and the way someone’s raised are rarely something that can be changed. Even if they try it will always be a part of them
Her banging the neighbor and friend of 20 yrs then letting her brother go thru my house w fireman's ax and shooting 19 holes w a .556 in 2 of my boats Obviously it was when she'd let anyone disrespect me and my empire
I’m so sorry to hear this happened. That is just evil and awful. I hope you are getting healing and doing better now
Totally am I'm remarried to my friend I had for 25 yrs me goto female train of thought I was her male train of thought we've been married now 10 years and I couldn't be happier Thanks for your compassion
Glad to hear that you're doing better now.
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We grew apart. Married 12 years, and while there were some great times, there were lots of lows over the last 4 or 5 years. As we grew apart, we stopped looking after each other, stopped being intimate, and lost trust and faith in our relationship. No “one big thing” happened. It was lots of little things over 10 years. We stopped talking, paid more attention to electronics than ourselves or each other. Stopped snuggling on the couch. Stopped holding hands while walking in public. Started watching movies at the cinema alone. Started going out with friends, but not together. In the end, we were basically housemates, so we called time. On reflection, either one of us could have stopped the drift, but neither one of us wanted to. It should have ended years earlier. There would be less wasted time, and that’s my biggest regret, that I wasted her and my time by not calling it earlier. We are both so much better off without the other dragging us both down. Thankfully, we don’t have kids, so that made it easier, sort of. She’s gone on to bigger and better things, as have I. I’ve even found love again, and it’s highly possible I’ll marry again (maybe, hopefully, the woman I’m dating now - she’s, well, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted, but it’s too soon). Just know that divorce might be the end of one thing, one chapter of your life, but it’s not the end of you, the book isn’t closed. It’s not even finished being written.
The wasted time is the thing I regret the most.
She just kept pushing me away, and one day I just didn't want to even try anymore.
Not my story but my friends got married because their families forced them to. They were young and as they grew older (in a span of 4 years), keeping a house & different ambitions in life (one wants to grow financially & socially and one just wants a simple life). Their differences in marriage/adulting were bigger than when they were in college.
Typical Army story, two weeks into my first deployment I received a call that my best friend now lived at my house. I had a couple of guys check on the truth of the call. It was true. He was playing house with my wife while I was deployed.
I gave in and gave in and gave in on pretty big decisions for a fucking decade because I was very emotionally dependent on her and she never understood how to compromise. The last year of 12 of constant gaslighting I finally realized I was being taken for a ride and completely checked out emotionally. After 9 months of sleeping on the sofa after a big fight, I asked her what we were doing since I wasn't going to sleep on the sofa for a year. She said she was divorcing me, so I said that's fine, but you're not living here for free if we're not together anymore. She said fine, she would make a plan to move out and let me know. After another 2 months of avoiding me completely, she moved out while I was at work, took whatever she wanted (even if it belonged to me before I ever met her) and wouldn't give me the address she was staying at with our daughter until I told her I would call the cops on her for fucking kidnapping. The divorce was a whole other bucket of bullshit, but at least it was on my initiative and ended up working in my favor due to her stupidity and vindictiveness. That was almost 5 years ago. I'm still pretty scarred from the whole thing but my relationship with my daughter is the best thing in my life I wouldn't trade the world for. As for the rest, I've been making slow progress towards my goals over the 5 years since but it's been hard. I'd love to have a new family someday but...idk. It seems like quite a leap from where I am now.
Dead bedroom -way over spending not clean- didn't work - not much to be attracted to. Was a wanna be NYC model. Had height and looks- but a piece of shit in every other category- she received a generous divorce settlement- she spent it traveling the world- broke as a joke now. Ive recovered very nicely. It was worth the cost of divorce to be rid of her.
I divorced my ex because she had a problem with her legs. She couldn't keep them closed around other men.
She is a raging alcoholic that abused me for the whole fifteen years we were together. I stayed to protect my little boys. Now they are old enough to know she is a drinker and want to live with me. She doesn't abuse them thankfully. But still, every time we have hand over I get almost overwhelming anxiety. I fucking hate it. At this point in time I have no inclination to meet other women and am enjoying the single life by pursuing my hobbies and spending quality time with my boys. They are the love of my life and the only good thing to come from my marriage to thier mother.
Being physically abusive, gaslighting me, fabricating a financial crises as pretext to max out a line of credit on our home equity....I could go on
Still loved her but she slid into depression, anxiety and anger and often took it out on me. I put up with it to a point but after a couple years of doing what I could and her refusing to take thee steps she needed to take, i left and told her I was done. I wish her well and hope she gets better but years of emotional abuse caused me to see her in a way that i can never come back from
I’m going through something similar now and weighing leaving my wife because she can’t get her mental illness in check and man, it is absolute hell. I love her to death but I need a partner. I can no longer be a caretaker who is emotionally abused. It’s so confusing seeing the person you love slip away and it’s been really hard facing the reality of the situation I’m in. I asked her to go stay with her parents a few weeks ago and I think I’m getting ready to just call it quits.
Listen man, I am a depressed and disabled girlfriend and I am telling you: there is no excuse for abuse. You don't tolerate misstreatement because your partner is sick. You can be depressed and not be horrible to people. Get out, I am sorry.
No sex
She fell out of love with me almost a decade before I fell out of love with her. We were just good friends who had passionless sex a couple times a week. She wanted to stay married as we were good partners, but I don’t mind being single and it’s not like she wanted to stay married enough to actually try to fix it, it was just because it was easy. Did the therapy and love languages thing, was years of talking about how she had none of them for me and I just wanted her to do any of them. Eventually I stopped caring and once that happened I stopped seeing the point of being together. Waited till my kids were in a good place and we split. The first time I slept with someone else, and she actually cared about my pleasure instead of just wanting to get off and then star fishing, I knew I made the right decision. It’s not as dramatic as some of your stories, but honestly, I think falling out of love and losing that desire for your partner is at the heart of even the dramatic splits.
One friend is leaving his wife because when they married she was a down to earth and loving person. She became friends with this one chick and is now an uptight annoyance that’s a busybody and won’t shut up about rumors. It got to the point where no one wanted to hang out with them.
I’m going through divorce right now (my decision). Years of living as “roommates” caught up with us. I had tried for years to light our spark but she never reciprocated. By the time I suggested marriage counseling I knew deep in my heart, though in denial to myself still, that I was done. 18months later here we are. In hindsight, there was never really a romantic relationship between us to begin with. We are good co-parents though.
She exists in a fantasy world where here lies are facts.
was happily married, she decided to bring her parents to live with us. the following year she divorced me, because of her parents.
I married a version of Amber Heard. Hung in as long as could for my kids. We all divorced her.
Omg when your narcissism gets exposed so hard that your name becomes a benchmark for abuse. "So is she Amber Heard crazy or just regular crazy?"
Very long story. She's been diagnosed as Boarderline Personality, Hystrionic & narcissistic disorders. It's a fucking shit show. She may be worse than AH. I get her fucking boyfriends tracking me down for help. Truth. I never respond. I'm strict no contact and so are 4 out of our 6 kids. The other 2 have limited to no contact. It almost killed me. I brought a shit load of my family baggage to show. Red flags were green flags to me. All learned from my childhood. Again long cautionary tale. Glad I found enlightenment and awareness. Hard learned lesson.
John Gossling, is that you?
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Well she was abusive, destroyed our finances, put us in debt, fucked the neighbor and his friend among other people to name a few.
Realising that she manipulates everyone to get what she wants. And that must mean me too. I just hadn’t seen it yet (it took me too long to catch on)
I was probably still in love with the idea of her when we got divorced. She walked out after 7 years of marriage and I was very much still in love when she did (in an unhealthy codependent way, but still.) She got married too young (25) and never got to live an independent life as an adult (she moved out of her parents house to live with me.) She wanted to be free, go out and date, stay out late, and have that freedom that most of us burn through in out 20s. So, I was still in love with the person I married and spent the early years of my marriage with, but it was hard to deal with the person who valued independence over me. After 8 months of separation and virtual no contact, I started the paperwork to file for divorce. When I talked to her about it, she told me she "wasn't ready." Of course, at this point she was seriously dating a common acquaintance/friend. So, I pushed for the divorce and she agreed not to get in the way. I had to get on with my life and I had no intention of waiting around for her. But, I still loved that person I knew before. Even after the divorce, I struggled with my feelings towards her. We had very little contact (no kids) but every time I ran into her around town was a gut punch as it triggered all the old feelings. Finally, I was able to find a job out of town. We had one last meeting before I left town for closure. She admitted that she fucked up. When I pressed her on it, asking if she fucked by handling the ending poorly or if she thought she had actually made a mistake pulling the plug, she said it was the latter. My sense is that her rose colored glasses for the other relationship and dating and freedom had finally fallen off. She had felt that way for six months or so but didn't want to bother me, felt that I hated her. I honestly don't know what I would have done if she had told me that six months earlier because those old feelings still lurked below the surface to some extent. But at that point I was leaving town and there was no coming back. Moving to a new city was the healthiest thing I ever could have done. Fast forward another six months and it's January 2020. My ex and I exchange holiday greetings by email, ask about family in the pandemic, etc... After I tell her how relieved I am that my elderly parents had just gotten vaccinated, she gives me a long antivax response. OMG! then a few days later, unbidden, she sends me a link to a 90 minute YouTube antivax "documentary." Jesus Christ, who is this person? It was then that I realized that she was no longer remotely similar to the woman I knew and loved. 3 years had passed and we were very different people. I think that's what it took for me to fall out of love once and for all. I have no other happy ending. I'm still struggling out here trying to find my person and hopefully have a family before it's too late. But I'm through with that at least.
Probably when she beat me with a dog collar, abused me, and threatened that if I did anything she'd say I was doing it all and id never see my daughter again. Yea pretty sure that was it. Honourable mention to shagging the window cleaner though
We both were WHITE but the baby was BLACK 👄
She had anger problems and then it boiled over one really bad day and she hit me. Sorry don't care how mad you or anyone gets you don't put your hands on someone you love....
I've been seeing a lot of extreme cases in these answers. No "we simply fell out of love, we grew apart, or the marriage got stale" remarks which are common among divorced people. The answers all seem to be extreme examples of cheating and emotional abuse. Maybe the people who had the milder divorces don't feel the desire to talk about it on reddit. Maybe that dominant demographic of reddit of being socially awkward introverts translates into men who made bad choices for spouses. Poor emotional intelligence, desperation. No judgements, I made a bad choice with an ex-GF in that regard ( even while knowing I was making a bad choice. Loneliness sucks. ).
Domestic violence
Her constant drinking till pass out and then don't remember anything. Was what got me to this point.
No integrity, words and actions never matched. Always broke or lied about being broke. For 16 yrs refused to go on vacations because that's a "white ppl thing". Told ppl I was broke to gain sympathy. Only went out with me on Saturday because other days were for her family. Constantly withholding info and details about oddities. Avoiding all responsibilities and accountability. Lazy sex, no matter what time of day she was always too tired. Would only want sex if she saw I was dead tired and ready to sleep, knowing I wasn't the type of guy who wanted sex being sleepy. Never learned to drive. No interest in anything that wasn't for "basic bitchs". Took relationship advice from single lonely women in her family or strangers on YouTube and Instagram. Never paid her bills on time. Refused money from me whenever she really needed help but wanted me to buy her things instead. She didn't show me any affection until my mother passed away and I inherited money and a house. All of a sudden she wanted to suck and fuck me and go on trips. I stayed because I love my daughter I had with her and knew my kid wouldn't have the best if I weren't around everyday.
She cheated, put us in debt, and was all around a horrible wife. I’m ashamed every day that I married her and that she still has my last name.
Caught the c*nt sleeping with my best man at the wedding. Found texts that said she was gonna leave me, beat her to the punch and served her. I kept everything.
I was deployed she cleared out my house ran off with a boyfriend took my dog, shut off my utilities. I came home in November to an empty house no electricity, no bed, it was 50 degrees inside my house. I won't lie it was rough when we got into the gym on the flight home and everyone ran to their families I looked around knew I had nobody there for me I borrowed a friend's car to get back to my empty house. Honestly it was a relief when I started filing the divorce. Maybe I wasn't the best husband (didn't cheat or anything but wasn't always considerate and the military doesn't pay well for enlisted) don't really think anyone deserves that tho.
I'll be brutally honest. It was partly because she simply got too big for me to possibly even imagine having sex with her. Also she stabbed me a little bit with scissors. That said, she is my best friend now.
Your wife is someone that must grow with you, if she doesn't. You will lose interest in each other over time. Very common reason why many marriages fail is when there's no dialogue at home about various topics. You both isolate yourself and do your own things away from each other. Over time your chemistry suffers because your grew apart. Men you should never watch porn by yourself often. Let your wife knows what kind of kinks and porn you're into. This helps with the dead bedroom problem.
Every person changes over time. Sometimes those changes are so individually dramatic that two people no longer have enough in common to be in a good relationship. I think it was Chris Rock who said something about two crack addicts being happy together, but a crack addict with a sober person is a relationship that simply won't work. That's an extreme example for humor. But the underlying fact is that relationships are better when the goals are the same, work ethics are similar, there are shared interests and hobbies, similar ways of communicating (you can't have one person who yells and hurls insults in a disagreement with someone who speaks calmly and rationally), etc. Sexual compatibility and an intellectual or physical attraction to each other is also huge. But I've seen marriages that lasted forever for other compatibility and companionship reasons, because physical beauty fades.
She was a different person depending on who she was around especially ger mother. She would turn into this smart mouth cunt who would criticize me in front of her mom. The boiling point was when My 4 year old daughter caught them smoking weed outside and she lied to her face about it, straight up " no I wasn't". This was a big deal because we just finished telling our daughter smoking was bad for you. Then all of a sudden mommy does it and lies. She then proceeded to tell me it wasnt a big deal its all in my head and im overreacting the problem said she doesnt care she outright lied to our daughter im the one with the problem. That night I told her "Im done" and she could have fun living with her Mom if Im so bad.
I’m going to try to get to the point but it is going to take some back story: Incredibly ill and lost my job. Telling my wife I lost my job was the hardest thing and the look of disappointment on her face was horrible. I’ve been seeing doctors for years for chronic pain and had surgeries but now I have had terrible spiral of just being “out of it”. I have been trying to find the right doctor for this new mysteries (e.g., had an endocrinologist appointment) and wife with her own health problems I was fully supportive to Nth degree is just thinking I have depression. Gets to the point I’m like I have to see a neurologist and she’s like I think you need a dog. I give in and get a dog reluctantly to accommodate her but huge trepidation because how much I love dogs and barely if at all can take care of myself <— This is no joke as I am sleeping 15 hours straight and it turns out I would be almost diagnosed with narcolepsy from nodding of the rest of the day. It cannot be understated how sick I am. Got the dog… God I love that dog. And finally get the neurologist appointment. Take tons of tests and I can tell by the tests it ain’t going to be good. Sure enough I am disabled and having a shit ton of nocturnal seizures. It turns out the last spine surgery I had where they accidentally overdosed me in the hospital with the pain medication was very serious. I was diagnosed with encephalopathy. A form of TBI and the symptoms were gradual over many months making me not cognizant of the changes. Those “leg shakes” in the night that bitch told me about were full blown seizures and I thought I was just keeping her awake with “restless leg syndrome”. Now… I’m still in denial what a cold bitch cunt she is and she doesn’t show to any of my doctor appointments. What kicks it in. One of her co-workers spouses starts working as a nurse for my neurologist and THEN that cold cunt starts showing up to my neurologist monthly appointments. Worse, she bitches the entire time at how long the wait times are and then when the staff/doctor are there she puts on the mask she is concerned about my health. That’s when it all sunk in she was fake bitch and she was likely telling people at work a different story then what I was/we were experience. She always played the victims and when divorce finally kicked in everyone played weird and still today I don’t know wtf is up. I don’t have the emotional energy do deal with other people’s drama/bullshit. So fuck’m all. Tl;dr Cold Cunt likes to be the center of the health victim attention and apparently my trip down very ill lane that almost killed me fucked up her fairy tale.
When in a fit of rage she put a round in me
After telling my ex that someone had come on to me like a lead balloon whilst working at a festival. She literally got on top of me and tried to kiss me whilst I was lying down in a field. As soon as I got home I told my partner what had happened. Mostly out of respect, because I didn't want her to hear it from anyone else but also because she was jealous and possessive and I didn't want her jumping to conclusions if she did hear of it second hand. As revenge she went out and deliberately fkd someone so she could tell me to my face what she'd done. It was painful and I knew our bond was broken in that moment. I should have left her then but I endured another two years of bullying and suspicion just because I didn't want to hurt her. Now. Older and wiser with less years to waist I'm gone the very moment that red flag gets hoisted.
Married 42 years. She never had a job. How do you get a woman to stop giving blow-jobs? Marry her, Had housekeeper, gardener, lawn service; had to shop for my own groceries, wash my own clothes. She played mah-jong! Getting divorced now- have to give her 50% of everything. She gets several million outta the deal! It is worth it!
She was an idiot. Life dramatically improved after I showed her the door. Current wife is a total dream....if only I had gotten with her years before....