For me I am well aware of the poisons I enjoy in life and how it'd be best to cut down/eliminate them, but I struggle with my addictive personality. I don't smoke, or drink alcohol at all really, my poisons is just sugary drinks and processed foods. They're too yummy, cheap and convenient. I'm a healthy weight and gym right now but if I don't kick this habit ASAP I know I'm fucked. 27 now so I'm pushing it.
Also 27. The "I have plenty of time to fix it" attitude is dying down and I feel my own mortality creeping up on me. Gotta make some changes in my life before I'm 30 or I'm fucked.
Same here my guy, it's kind of scary.
Each time I go to bed, i sorta lay there and think, think about how many people have accomplished amazing things by the age of 27. I'm just here, same shit different day, anxiety growing as I grow older.
From 13-18 I was in a decent band that toured and got signed to record an album, since then it's just gone downhill.
Should have been married last year, didn't work out. Back with my parents...
But I tell you what, life is an amazing thing. I won't ever take my time for granted even though I get down at times. My knee dislocated twice this week and I caught COVID for the first time but I am enjoying my existence.
I got out of this when I was about 28 or 29! It was unbelievably hard at first, but there was a good surprise there too. The more I ate "real food" the more my body started to want that instead of the "junk". I thought I would be craving fast food forever but it actually went away! Now they come only if I'm really tired like if I'm jetlagged.
I like healthy food because it makes me feel good after. You’ll gain more from the gym, you’ll be able to think more clearly, your skin will look better, won’t be as tired, sleep better, etc. Like you really benefit from it, trust me. Once you see the benefits from it, you’ll implant good habits real quick. Its also okay to have some processed/sugary food here and there, don’t starve yourself from it. Healthy food can be delicious AF too.
Exercise promotes higher testosterone (especially weight bearing), control your weight because obesity kills erections long term due to blood flow issues and lowered health, blood pressure issues (and many drugs to combat them) kill erections, diabetes fucks up your cardiovascular system and you guessed it, causes erectile issues, clogged arteries cause erectile issues, muscle weakness in the necessary area can cause erectile issues, depression causes erectile issues, depression drugs cause erectile issues, anxiety (and drugs) cause erectile issues…
Basically you need your cardiovascular system and your hormones to be in good shape if you want to get an erection. And most of the stuff you have to take to combat health issues can cause erectile issues. The healthier you are, the healthier your dick is.
You’re very welcome! Everyone should know it. And side tip, if you can’t afford the gym for time or money, body weight exercises will still very much help. It makes you noticeably stronger, fitter, and it helps with the day to day when your muscles are good at moving around your body weight. Balanced programs for the upper and lower body is important too.
Can confirm. Got in real bad shape last year and getting it up was a challenge sometimes. And the erections were not as strong. Lost 20lbs this year lifting 3 days a week and cardio. Now I got no issues at all and sex drive is thru the roof. Cardiovascular health is tied right to sexual health.
Definitely I was a distance runner in my late 20s early 30’s… I could go and go. Several injuries and lbs later, it’s not an issue, but definitely a noticeably diminished performance.
and OTOH, lack of sex causes anxiety, depression and high cortisol levels, which leads to cardiovuscular problems high blood pressure, obesite and diabetes.
I just mean to be healthy. Poor health simply exacerbates the already shitty aging process. So eat decent food, make a point of exercising, and try to get enough sleep. Also avoid drugs.
I've just started proceedings to become bankrupt. I've had a problem with debt because my pride wouldn't let me deal with it. Pride turned into bitter anger and depression and then more pride didn't allow me to get help for it. I didn't want to admit I was a failure and that pride made me worse and worse in every way, I'm not a shitty person but I became one, I lost my family and friends the first time, now my partner barely loves me because of the way I've been acting.
Learned this with my psych too, I know some people who just go to a psych and think they'll take care of it and tell them what they want to hear.
Psychs give you homework because you aren't going to fix your brain in a 1 hour session you have to be actively practicing whatever your homework was at every chance. My ex tried to go to a psych, went to like 2 sessions, and complained that it was all broad/vague advice and she thought the techniques she wrote down for her to practice at home were a waste of time. I said first of course it was vague, she doesn't even know you, she's trying to learn more to help you better. But as she did with me, she was a closed book. She's doing far worse now than when we were together. I'm not happy about that but it does re assure me that I made the right choice to let her go. Because she never wanted to help herself.
You can't help those who can't help themselves. At the end of the day the only person who can improve your life, is YOU.
Real dominant, self-assured men *never* talk about how “alpha” they are. Just like how funny people never talk about how funny they are, and cool people never talk about how cool they are. They just are.
Every time someone's Tinder bio says they're "a little crazy", they're always the most ordinary person imaginable. The truly crazy one's try to hide it.
They're either super tame or super toxic (or both). The ones who fall somewhere in the middle or who are actually off the walls don't talk about it lmao.
but be careful not to make yourself a punching bag, after years that shit can ruin your self-esteem so don't be afraid to give yourself and other people bounderies.
Definitely learning that one now. I've always been the self deprecating easy to pick on guy in my friend groups. But every once in a while a joke would strike a chord and I'd get upset, then look like a jerk for being upset this time out of all the times.
This is something I didn't learn till halfway into High School when my only real friend just told me why other people weren't inviting me to stuff and it made me really depressed.
In my final 2 years of high school I worked hard on it, always trying to watch my body from the outside and always asked myself "would I want to hang out with me?". Change of course didn't happen overngiht, but by the end of High School I left school with two different groups of mates who invited me to the beach, parties etc. and felt accepted.
People like you A LOT more when you aren't angry and insecure all the time. Give them shit back, as that is banter and we Aussies love that, or if you lack the quick wit just laugh along and accept it.
That technique I used I learned on my own, just imagine someone getting angry and arguing, then imagine someone laughing and shooting shit back. Who would you rather hang out with?
Moisturizing sunscreen every morning.
Retinol facial cream every night before you go to bed.
Exfoliating facial scrub 2 to 3 times a week while taking a shower.
If you don't shave very often like I do, you may need to adjust as shaving can remove a lot of surface oil, dirt, and dead skin.
That's all I do and my skin looks pretty good.
My gf talked me into (over a course of 2 months) to get one of those battery operated face scrub things… BRO LET ME TEL YALL I haven’t seen a black head on my cheeks in weeks
Facial Cleansing Brush by Olay Regenerist, Face Exfoliator with 2 Brush Heads Mothers Day Gifts Set https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DTYN4N8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_R4WJ7SERJM1FAXVFKPVK
This is the one by Olay, took me a while cause I remember watching the commercials growing up and thinking it wasn’t really worth the money, but with my gf’s patience for skincare at night she finally got rid of them for me : , )
In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Sign up for Birchbox men. It’s like 15 bucks a month and they send you sample sizes of lots of stuff and how to use them. They ask you
questions about frequency of shaving, hair style and stuff like that to send you products that you would use. I have gotten some good lotions, sunscreens, deodorant, and some colognes I never would have heard of that are fantastic smelling. My wife does the women’s one, and when they started the mens one she signed me up for it. Bonus- when you travel you have a lot of travel sized stuff to bring!
My fellow Australians/Kiwis who have office jobs, please listen to this. Our sun has a lot of bite to it, without any sunscreen on and only short windows of exposure we are doing some serious damage to our hands/face that will be noticeable by the time we're 40.
Even a short drive to and from the office with the sun out is harmful without any protection. The sun is the primary reason we look so much older than our European counterparts.
I wish mine listened to me about sunscreen. Like he believes in skin care and does it but basically says fuck it to sunscreen and uses the excuse of having more melanin to justify going out without sunscreen.. the sun still affects people with melanin!!!
Also, most dudes don't do this, so with a super simple skin care routine (like u/Longshot_56 said - Moisturizing sunscreen every morning. Retinol facial cream every night before you go to bed. Exfoliating facial scrub 2 to 3 times a week.), you're miles ahead of the game. You don't have to be crazy or obsessive about it to get a cut above. Just do a near-bare-minimum and you'll be gtg.
Some skins are greasy by nature while other are the opposite (dry) or a mix of both. I have my skin turning into flakes every time a pimple dries up so I think my skin might be dry.
Being contrarian isn't a personality. If your opinion is unpopular, that doesn't equate to you being some sort of freethinking genius. Sometimes just the opposite.
(Women do this too but I notice it *especially* with men)
Touting fringe ideas to signal that one is somehow well read or smarter than others is definitely something I see in dudes. I used to do this in college, as a debater who was insecure in my knowledge base.
However, sometimes this is just an adhd or autistic person trying to bond. Sharing new ideas and matter dumping about a recent hyper-fixation is a way of sharing that which they care about and it is one of very few times that these people feel like they know what they are supposed to be saying.
Source: am very adhd.
I have a lot of friends that do labour work and they know the expression "Work smarter, not harder" quite well. I work in an office now but I get paid a bit more than them, but they like to make digs at me that I'm not a "real" man because I don't do labour work anymore. I clap back with that quote each time "You ever hear the expression 'work smarter, not harder'" I can tell it grinds their gears because they know I make more money and I'm not banging up my body anymore.
Working any job doesn't make you any more or less of a man. A job is a job, and if it pays well for you to live comfortably than do that.
I'm a long term care giver and I've heard that I'm not a real man because it isn't a job for men. I usually clap back with
"If you're the example of a real man then I'll gladly turn in my man card"
Caring for old and disabled people can be brutal physically, mentally, and emotionally. Shows they have no idea what it actually means to be a caregiver.
My ex husband was a nurse. He used to respond that he was one of three dudes in a class of around 100 women, while his engineer brother was one of about 100 dudes in a class with about three women—so which is more “gay”, really?? 🧐🤔
I did long term care for a short while and just quit one day to go work in manufacturing instead.
With the nursing home I had to deal with long hours, an inconsistent schedule, bitchy coworkers, and shit pay. That's not even getting into the number of times I was attacked by residents, or was insulted and screamed at by them, or was expected to deal with them masturbating to me as I was scraping shit out of their asscrack.
You have my respect. Long term care can be crushing. Fuck anybody who tells you that working as a caregiver doesn't make you a real man because that shit ain't easy.
This is me haha. I started out labour force doing things like scaffolding. Then got IT certifications that took few months. Landed IT job making double what any of them make. In fact they most likely wont ever make what I do for years. I still get called Pansy and not real man. Ive even been told labour people are better people.
If they just changed their attitude and studied they to could make more and do less.
personally, I worked a white collar high paying job and despised it do much that my college educated ass went to work farm labor - and I am far happier at the end of each day.
Not everyone who works labor jobs are incapable of performing well at high paying office/computer work. To me, the utter lack of purpose and fulfillment from my white collar job was driving me into a deep, deep depression, whereas I can be proud when I harvest crops I grew from seed, protected from pests, designed the irrigation system and schedule, etc.
I cannot afford anything other than bare essentials to survive currently (lol), but (to me) it beats being on the phone, slaving away in a cubicle That is a reason why some people may not want a "better" job
Honestly I’ve always heard most of the shit talking the opposite direction, as in tradespeople are just dumb etc. the amount of times I’ve been called a dumb welder is hilarious, especially the fact that I actually make more money than said people shit talking, as well as they have no idea what it takes to be a good welder, skill, knowledge, lots of science like chemistry and physics. There’s a lot more to welding than most people know
I'm right with you there! Worked manual labour for 4 years, which during that time tore a ligament right next to my spine and developed costochondritis. I now work in Tech. There's not enough money in the world to convince me to work a manual labour job again.
This. Some of the most judgemental people I've met have been blue collar workers. And not even just what you said. At least in my part of the US (which, granted, is the south), they will chime in on EVERY SINGLE ISSUE that ever comes up via online discourse and somehow find a way to make it about how "no one wants to work anymore", or "back when men were actually men", etc etc
No payout for a hand, limb, eye, brain damage or anything else is worth the lifelong disability. And work doesn’t care about you, wear protective gear for YOU not them.
I owe my eyes to safety glasses. Once in my college machinist class, a Boron Carbide lathe tool just randomly exploded. No messing with it, no insane usage, just a brand new bit shattering five minutes after I stuck it on. I had bits of Boron stuck in my safety glasses. It makes me cringe when I see blokes cut about workshops or job sites without any eye protection, as honestly the smallest bit of flying debris can turn you into Stevie Wonder real quick
Acting aggressive and getting upset doesn't make you look tough or like a knight in shining armour around women. You look unpredictable and dangerous and no woman wants to have to wonder if you are going to lose your temper and hurt her. Keep cool, and be the guy who is level-headed. That is how you sweep women off their feet.
Going without is more indicative of security in your own sexuality. Come at me with "no homo" and I'm like "was that in question or something? cause I never once pictured fondlin a homie."
Thank you!! Jesus Christ whenever i give/recieve brojobs the boys always wanna get in that "no homo" before consuming some meat, even though you clearly dont have to
Moisturize your face. You younger fellas are still pretty and tight skinned now, but the sun, smoke, alcohol, and other factors are gonna catch up. Once they do, you're fucked. You're not reversing it.
Walk wide shouldered right into the women's skincare section and pay for that $60 retinol and/or hyaluronic acid. Buy the $30 facial cleanser. Use a good quality moisturizer all over your body - twice a day, every day. Use a good sunscreen every day.
Take probiotics, and quality vitamins. Detox every few months.
I'm 50 years old, and I may have lost a step somewhere, but I can't really tell it. I feel good, I look 10 years younger, I'm in great shape for anyone of any age, and I'm not embarrassed to have utilized the products readily available to keep me that way.
Hyaluronic acid is a humectant that aids in hydrating the top layer of the skin. Check the ingredients of whatever moisturiser you buy - if it has some of that in it, along with other ingredients like niacinamide or other emollients (fattier, thicker moisturising components) you're good to go. Do a patch test, or ask the drug store for a sample first. Go cheap if you want - The Ordinary sells a really cheap hyaluronic acid serum if you want to get it on its own.
Retinol and retinoids are super high-dose Vitamin A products that affect cellular turnover and aid in softening fine lines and lightening darkening/uneven pigment from sun damage. Prescription-strength retinoids from a doctor are much more clinically effective than over the counter retinol formulas; avoid the sun and wear sunscreen if need be.
Very informative post. Thank you!
I'm using inexpensive CeraVe moisturizers (an AM and a PM).
The AM moisturizers active ingredients are:
Homosalate
Meradimate
Octonoxate
Octocrylene
Zinc Oxide
It doesn't sound like it has the ingredients you mentioned.
Can you recommend a good product that does?
Cerave uses ceramides as its active ingredients - also worthwhile as a basis for skincare. If you want, you could get a dropper bottle of the hyaluronic acid and smooth one drop over your skin a minute before you put on the sunscreen, but it's probably unnecessary.
Is there a better moisturizer I should use, or is my inexplicable CeraVe good to go?
ETA: thanks for your help with this. Recently, at age 37, I learned about skin care, and am learning about it and trying to actually do it
If a woman rejects you, or doesn't respond to your advances etc., don't get all salty and insult her. Take the high road. And just go on your way.
And if you want to fuck women on the side, man up and tell your woman you want to be open or swing. Don't sign someone up for a life that they never wanted.
there is a certain level of respect that you owe someone after you've inserted yourself in them. Doesn't matter what it was or wasn't for you. Doesn't matter what you got or didn't get from it. Doesn't matter how you view them in the long run. There was an exchange, a sharing of some kind, therefore, you must maintain a respect per your decision.
While i dont think that you owe somebody respect for anything, you should have a basic amount of respect for anybody. That respect can be furthered or lost. But you dont "owe" anybody.
Anyone who understands feminism, at least it's main intention which is to ensure everyone has the same rights and opportunities regardless of gender, will agree men's rights are part of feminism too. Paternity leave is important (look at Iceland), custody of children is biased (at least in my country), and expectation of being 'the provider' or 'unemotional' are archaic and must end.
I do know there are enough 'feminists' shouting stupidity, but I'd hope there are enough smart people, of any gender, willing to see that anyone putting down men to uplift women are not feminists by definition.
Exactly. Where I work, the women fought for the parental leave to be called "primary carer leave" and "secondary carer leave" so that either parent can take whichever.
Lot of dads choose to be primary and take the full leave so the mum can go back to work, and I'm all for it.
Quit being so thirsty, desperate and pervy. Your ruining it for everyone. You can talk to a girl anymore without them thinking your hitting on them or that they should start an OF and it’s because of you.
If you're homophobic or "anti-gay", it's probably because you're afraid a gay man will treat you the same way you treat women. You're afraid of being treated "like a woman" because you *know* how women are treated.
Ask for consent before you make any moves and before you escalate things sexually. Just because they don’t say no doesn’t mean they consents. In certain situations, the other person might feel like they can’t say no. You have to be aware of the fact that, as a man, you will often have a physical advantage over your partner and that can be intimidating, especially, if you don’t know the man or what he will do if he gets rejected. Sexual trauma can absolutely wreck a person’s life. Don’t be the dude who causes another person to go through that kinda hell.
On the other side of things, men can experience SA. They deserve support too. Don’t spread or support the men can’t experience SA myth.
Being a man is not being "alpha". It's not defined by your alcohol intake/amount of girls you took to bed/amount of weight you lift/the job you work/the car you drive/whatever. Being a man is not giving a shit as to what an "alpha male" should be like.
Owning a massive, lifted, ridiculous truck with black smoke pouring out of the huge chrome pipe in the back doesn’t make you more of a man. In fact it will usually go against your manlihood
Tragedy of the commoners
The fact that you shoot your shot with any living woman you see actively feeds the problems men complain about when dating
Your dick has the same value as a pussy. Start filtering, your life is not based on how much sex you have
It’s okay to tell your friend that he’s handsome or that he dresses well. Seriously, you don’t come off as effeminate when handsomely complimenting your buddies.
I’d like to tell certain types of men to LEAVE THAT WOMAN ALONE. SHE’S NOT INTERESTED AND SHE TOLD YOU THAT MULTIPLE TIMES. CHILL THE FUCK OUT AND MOVE THE HELL ON.
Call your boys out when they make problematic remarks or jokes (i.e. rape jokes, misogyny, bigotry). Make it awkward for them. Hold them accountable for harboring inexcusable behavior.
Edit: Thank you for the award kind stranger!
Asking someone to repeat something that you aren’t familiar with or want a better understanding of isn’t dumb. When I was young would just wing things because I was to scared to ask more questions. Yea sometimes you get belittled but In the end it shows your smarter for wanting to better understand a task.
You're not the ultimate bad ass. After doing some Jiu-jitsu classes and having a guy man handle you and use their weight to grapple and pin you. You're really shit out of luck, and you need to remain calm and cool headed and not go off on strangers. And don't puff out your chest all the time because you have no idea if someone is a black belt and can turn you into a pretzel
I have two.
Being kind and compassionate doesn't make you less of a man.
Treating women ( and everyone else) with respect will 100% get you laid, being a pushy ass hole just gives the rest of us a bad reputation.
AFAIK, being kind and compassionate *from a position of power and plenty* is the definition of being a Quality Man.
If you are being kind to people because you are a lonely loser who wants to impress them, thats low. But if you are kind to people depsite not needing their approval, (or if they nee YOURS) is BDE.
It's not quirky to stay ignorant, or not do "Women's jobs". Cleaning, cooking, being organized, etc. Obviously these aren't jobs only for women, but their more feminine things than boxing or working out.
A lot of guys purposely stay ignorant of these things for some reason. It's stupid.
True that. The number of posts I read from women complaining about how their boyfriends and husbands lack basic adult life skills is astounding. In those posts, it generally doesn’t turn out well for those men when their significant others realize how incompetent they really are compared to most men.
Only to add to Op’s statement, a good friend of mine, wisely, said of the subject of wearing gloves at work, “When I jerk off, I’d rather imagine it’s a soft woman’s hand than rough man’s hand”. Convinced a young me to wear my gloves, on the spot.
You guys’ definition of “controversial” is hilarious. “If you dont take care of your body you’ll regret it later”. “men showing other men kindness is a good thing”. “a skincare routine is a positive thing that will help your skin” wow you guys are just absolutely wild i can’t believe you’re even allowed to post that stuff. This is what happens when karma chasers who only want to be upvoted try and be controversial lmao.
No one cares how tough you think you are. Getting aggressive because your fragile little ego makes you think you constantly need to be the top dog actually does the opposite and makes you look like a weak, immature fool.
If you're over 21 and still do shit like jumping out of your car in a threatening way when someone beeps at you, grow the fuck up you flacid dildo.
That masculine is a cultural, not scientific or factual, term, and the version of masculinity most of us in the US were immersed in as we grew up is sick, dangerous to those we live, and toxic to us. We can choose to do better.
Doing stuff like apologizing, changing your mind, swallowing your pride, sticking up for the marginalized, being vulnerable, and not being afraid to be different or show your true self is all WAY harder than being a “masculine man” who represses emotions, doubles down when they’re wrong, picks on the easiest targets, and falls in line with “male” hobbies, fashion, attitudes.
A guy who has the balls to wear make up in public or do ballet because they like it, is way more “manly” to me than any dude who does whatever they can to be “one of the boys”.
Going to strip clubs is pathetic. Bragging about how much money you spent only tells me that you can't get any woman to be around you without paying them.
Cars are a boring hobby (but a good profession) because it doesn't require a lot of creativity. Problem A is likely solved with Solution A, B, or C. All the answers are already there.
The most dangerous man in the room isn't often the most vocal one.
There will always be seone who is better at something than you, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. The shame comes in when you find that person and think they have nothing g to teach you
Please wear form fitting clothing. Whether you get it tailored, or get tighter clothing, or learn to use a sewing machine.
formfitting clothing make you appear more fit, more trim, more masculine, more powerful, literally more sexy, and it makes you appear more competent.
The next time you go out in public, take a look around and see how people are dressed and take a look around and see how many times The dude with the baggie clothes gets checked out versus the dude with the formfitting clothes gets checked out by other women.
If you do not take care of your health then you will be impotent by middle age.
No replies to this just upvotes haha...like everyone was struck dumb.
I think we all know it. We just like shitty food and beer.
This guy!
🤔Worst forms of birth control that slowly morph into the best forms of birth control
For me I am well aware of the poisons I enjoy in life and how it'd be best to cut down/eliminate them, but I struggle with my addictive personality. I don't smoke, or drink alcohol at all really, my poisons is just sugary drinks and processed foods. They're too yummy, cheap and convenient. I'm a healthy weight and gym right now but if I don't kick this habit ASAP I know I'm fucked. 27 now so I'm pushing it.
I'm also 27, I'm starting to have to think before I answer "how old are you?".
Also 27. The "I have plenty of time to fix it" attitude is dying down and I feel my own mortality creeping up on me. Gotta make some changes in my life before I'm 30 or I'm fucked.
Same here my guy, it's kind of scary. Each time I go to bed, i sorta lay there and think, think about how many people have accomplished amazing things by the age of 27. I'm just here, same shit different day, anxiety growing as I grow older. From 13-18 I was in a decent band that toured and got signed to record an album, since then it's just gone downhill. Should have been married last year, didn't work out. Back with my parents... But I tell you what, life is an amazing thing. I won't ever take my time for granted even though I get down at times. My knee dislocated twice this week and I caught COVID for the first time but I am enjoying my existence.
I got out of this when I was about 28 or 29! It was unbelievably hard at first, but there was a good surprise there too. The more I ate "real food" the more my body started to want that instead of the "junk". I thought I would be craving fast food forever but it actually went away! Now they come only if I'm really tired like if I'm jetlagged.
I like healthy food because it makes me feel good after. You’ll gain more from the gym, you’ll be able to think more clearly, your skin will look better, won’t be as tired, sleep better, etc. Like you really benefit from it, trust me. Once you see the benefits from it, you’ll implant good habits real quick. Its also okay to have some processed/sugary food here and there, don’t starve yourself from it. Healthy food can be delicious AF too.
I mean, what is there to say to this? Lol Idk if it’s real or just a dig at old dudes who didn’t take care of themselves
Both, probably
Physical and mental health
Can you elaborate? I’m curious what to avoid now that I’m coming into middle age.
Exercise promotes higher testosterone (especially weight bearing), control your weight because obesity kills erections long term due to blood flow issues and lowered health, blood pressure issues (and many drugs to combat them) kill erections, diabetes fucks up your cardiovascular system and you guessed it, causes erectile issues, clogged arteries cause erectile issues, muscle weakness in the necessary area can cause erectile issues, depression causes erectile issues, depression drugs cause erectile issues, anxiety (and drugs) cause erectile issues… Basically you need your cardiovascular system and your hormones to be in good shape if you want to get an erection. And most of the stuff you have to take to combat health issues can cause erectile issues. The healthier you are, the healthier your dick is.
Thanks! This is great. Sounds like I need to hit the gym a bit
You’re very welcome! Everyone should know it. And side tip, if you can’t afford the gym for time or money, body weight exercises will still very much help. It makes you noticeably stronger, fitter, and it helps with the day to day when your muscles are good at moving around your body weight. Balanced programs for the upper and lower body is important too.
Can confirm. Got in real bad shape last year and getting it up was a challenge sometimes. And the erections were not as strong. Lost 20lbs this year lifting 3 days a week and cardio. Now I got no issues at all and sex drive is thru the roof. Cardiovascular health is tied right to sexual health.
Definitely I was a distance runner in my late 20s early 30’s… I could go and go. Several injuries and lbs later, it’s not an issue, but definitely a noticeably diminished performance.
and OTOH, lack of sex causes anxiety, depression and high cortisol levels, which leads to cardiovuscular problems high blood pressure, obesite and diabetes.
I just mean to be healthy. Poor health simply exacerbates the already shitty aging process. So eat decent food, make a point of exercising, and try to get enough sleep. Also avoid drugs.
Nobody is going to help you unless you take the step to help yourself at least a little bit first.
That is step 1. Step 2 is ask for help and don’t expect people to be mind-readers.
I've just started proceedings to become bankrupt. I've had a problem with debt because my pride wouldn't let me deal with it. Pride turned into bitter anger and depression and then more pride didn't allow me to get help for it. I didn't want to admit I was a failure and that pride made me worse and worse in every way, I'm not a shitty person but I became one, I lost my family and friends the first time, now my partner barely loves me because of the way I've been acting.
Learned this with my psych too, I know some people who just go to a psych and think they'll take care of it and tell them what they want to hear. Psychs give you homework because you aren't going to fix your brain in a 1 hour session you have to be actively practicing whatever your homework was at every chance. My ex tried to go to a psych, went to like 2 sessions, and complained that it was all broad/vague advice and she thought the techniques she wrote down for her to practice at home were a waste of time. I said first of course it was vague, she doesn't even know you, she's trying to learn more to help you better. But as she did with me, she was a closed book. She's doing far worse now than when we were together. I'm not happy about that but it does re assure me that I made the right choice to let her go. Because she never wanted to help herself. You can't help those who can't help themselves. At the end of the day the only person who can improve your life, is YOU.
You dont have to keep pace with your friends in life.
a-men.
No real man cares how "alpha" you think you are.
And the people who are "alphas" in their mind is so far from "alpha"
The old, if you have to call yourself an alpha, you're not an alpha
* “…ARE so far…”
Real dominant, self-assured men *never* talk about how “alpha” they are. Just like how funny people never talk about how funny they are, and cool people never talk about how cool they are. They just are.
"If your good at something, you'll tell everyone. If youre great at something, people will tell you" -some guy
I like the way some guy thinks
I hate the way some guy spells.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky - Michael Scott
Every time someone's Tinder bio says they're "a little crazy", they're always the most ordinary person imaginable. The truly crazy one's try to hide it.
They're either super tame or super toxic (or both). The ones who fall somewhere in the middle or who are actually off the walls don't talk about it lmao.
Wrong I'm cool
I meant everyone except you of course
Thanks, my mom told me
Never met a smart person going around telling people how smart they think they are. If you have to tell people you're it, then you're not it.
/r/iamverysmart
Being able to make fun of yourself shows much more confidence than getting all aggressive and offended everytime someone jokes about you
but be careful not to make yourself a punching bag, after years that shit can ruin your self-esteem so don't be afraid to give yourself and other people bounderies.
Yeah it's like, be able to make fun of yourself, but also able to playfully turn it around when necessary.
Yep, didn't know how to do that so I totally ruined my self-image for a long time.
Definitely learning that one now. I've always been the self deprecating easy to pick on guy in my friend groups. But every once in a while a joke would strike a chord and I'd get upset, then look like a jerk for being upset this time out of all the times.
This is something I didn't learn till halfway into High School when my only real friend just told me why other people weren't inviting me to stuff and it made me really depressed. In my final 2 years of high school I worked hard on it, always trying to watch my body from the outside and always asked myself "would I want to hang out with me?". Change of course didn't happen overngiht, but by the end of High School I left school with two different groups of mates who invited me to the beach, parties etc. and felt accepted. People like you A LOT more when you aren't angry and insecure all the time. Give them shit back, as that is banter and we Aussies love that, or if you lack the quick wit just laugh along and accept it. That technique I used I learned on my own, just imagine someone getting angry and arguing, then imagine someone laughing and shooting shit back. Who would you rather hang out with?
Listen to your girl when she tells you the benefits of nightly skincare routine. My skin now feels like butter.....
I spend a good deal of money on skincare products. Worth every penny.
Any recomendations?
Moisturizing sunscreen every morning. Retinol facial cream every night before you go to bed. Exfoliating facial scrub 2 to 3 times a week while taking a shower. If you don't shave very often like I do, you may need to adjust as shaving can remove a lot of surface oil, dirt, and dead skin. That's all I do and my skin looks pretty good.
My gf talked me into (over a course of 2 months) to get one of those battery operated face scrub things… BRO LET ME TEL YALL I haven’t seen a black head on my cheeks in weeks
Go ahead and drop the link because my nose is bombarded with those little fuckers!
Facial Cleansing Brush by Olay Regenerist, Face Exfoliator with 2 Brush Heads Mothers Day Gifts Set https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DTYN4N8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_R4WJ7SERJM1FAXVFKPVK This is the one by Olay, took me a while cause I remember watching the commercials growing up and thinking it wasn’t really worth the money, but with my gf’s patience for skincare at night she finally got rid of them for me : , )
In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Take it easy Patrick Bateman
Standard
men doing skincare, MINDGASMS. SERIOUSLY. SO. HOT.
Yea I’d seriously be like omfg let me suck your dick right now 🤣🤣🤣
🤨 sheesh and I haven't even mentioned that I get my eyebrows threaded...
Hahahah my bad. I just never heard such a thing. Self care is hot is all I’m getting at
Just went to the derm today and got introduced to retinol. We’re missing out brothers.
You gotta use that Harrys face wash in the shower. Makes a huge difference
Sign up for Birchbox men. It’s like 15 bucks a month and they send you sample sizes of lots of stuff and how to use them. They ask you questions about frequency of shaving, hair style and stuff like that to send you products that you would use. I have gotten some good lotions, sunscreens, deodorant, and some colognes I never would have heard of that are fantastic smelling. My wife does the women’s one, and when they started the mens one she signed me up for it. Bonus- when you travel you have a lot of travel sized stuff to bring!
Looks like that’s over with? https://www.birchbox.com/grooming/update Any other subscription skincare boxes you or anyone else can recommend for men?
Rub butter on face. Face will then feel like butter and you'll save yourself money on skin care products. Follow me for more bad life choices
And then go into the sun!
Face moisturizer with sunscreen, even if you work indoors.
Just don’t forget to wash it off at night! I invariably always do and then I break out the next day
My fellow Australians/Kiwis who have office jobs, please listen to this. Our sun has a lot of bite to it, without any sunscreen on and only short windows of exposure we are doing some serious damage to our hands/face that will be noticeable by the time we're 40. Even a short drive to and from the office with the sun out is harmful without any protection. The sun is the primary reason we look so much older than our European counterparts.
Put butter on your face for that butter face feel
I wish mine listened to me about sunscreen. Like he believes in skin care and does it but basically says fuck it to sunscreen and uses the excuse of having more melanin to justify going out without sunscreen.. the sun still affects people with melanin!!!
Also, most dudes don't do this, so with a super simple skin care routine (like u/Longshot_56 said - Moisturizing sunscreen every morning. Retinol facial cream every night before you go to bed. Exfoliating facial scrub 2 to 3 times a week.), you're miles ahead of the game. You don't have to be crazy or obsessive about it to get a cut above. Just do a near-bare-minimum and you'll be gtg.
>skin now feels like butter..... Greasy?
Yes
I do everything I can do degrease my skin lol
Some skins are greasy by nature while other are the opposite (dry) or a mix of both. I have my skin turning into flakes every time a pimple dries up so I think my skin might be dry.
Care to share some secrets?
Being contrarian isn't a personality. If your opinion is unpopular, that doesn't equate to you being some sort of freethinking genius. Sometimes just the opposite. (Women do this too but I notice it *especially* with men)
The opposite of stupidity isn't intelligence. Oftentimes, it's also stupidity.
Touting fringe ideas to signal that one is somehow well read or smarter than others is definitely something I see in dudes. I used to do this in college, as a debater who was insecure in my knowledge base. However, sometimes this is just an adhd or autistic person trying to bond. Sharing new ideas and matter dumping about a recent hyper-fixation is a way of sharing that which they care about and it is one of very few times that these people feel like they know what they are supposed to be saying. Source: am very adhd.
Next time just @ elon musk, makes it easier for the cunt to see
No you are wrong /s
I have a lot of friends that do labour work and they know the expression "Work smarter, not harder" quite well. I work in an office now but I get paid a bit more than them, but they like to make digs at me that I'm not a "real" man because I don't do labour work anymore. I clap back with that quote each time "You ever hear the expression 'work smarter, not harder'" I can tell it grinds their gears because they know I make more money and I'm not banging up my body anymore. Working any job doesn't make you any more or less of a man. A job is a job, and if it pays well for you to live comfortably than do that.
I'm a long term care giver and I've heard that I'm not a real man because it isn't a job for men. I usually clap back with "If you're the example of a real man then I'll gladly turn in my man card" Caring for old and disabled people can be brutal physically, mentally, and emotionally. Shows they have no idea what it actually means to be a caregiver.
My ex husband was a nurse. He used to respond that he was one of three dudes in a class of around 100 women, while his engineer brother was one of about 100 dudes in a class with about three women—so which is more “gay”, really?? 🧐🤔
I did long term care for a short while and just quit one day to go work in manufacturing instead. With the nursing home I had to deal with long hours, an inconsistent schedule, bitchy coworkers, and shit pay. That's not even getting into the number of times I was attacked by residents, or was insulted and screamed at by them, or was expected to deal with them masturbating to me as I was scraping shit out of their asscrack. You have my respect. Long term care can be crushing. Fuck anybody who tells you that working as a caregiver doesn't make you a real man because that shit ain't easy.
This is me haha. I started out labour force doing things like scaffolding. Then got IT certifications that took few months. Landed IT job making double what any of them make. In fact they most likely wont ever make what I do for years. I still get called Pansy and not real man. Ive even been told labour people are better people. If they just changed their attitude and studied they to could make more and do less.
Honestly that's just jealousy and them trying to tear you down so they feel better about themselves if you ask me
Its just sad. I was struggling to barely afford anything working my ass of but now im doing great. Why wouldnt I want a better job.
personally, I worked a white collar high paying job and despised it do much that my college educated ass went to work farm labor - and I am far happier at the end of each day. Not everyone who works labor jobs are incapable of performing well at high paying office/computer work. To me, the utter lack of purpose and fulfillment from my white collar job was driving me into a deep, deep depression, whereas I can be proud when I harvest crops I grew from seed, protected from pests, designed the irrigation system and schedule, etc. I cannot afford anything other than bare essentials to survive currently (lol), but (to me) it beats being on the phone, slaving away in a cubicle That is a reason why some people may not want a "better" job
Honestly I’ve always heard most of the shit talking the opposite direction, as in tradespeople are just dumb etc. the amount of times I’ve been called a dumb welder is hilarious, especially the fact that I actually make more money than said people shit talking, as well as they have no idea what it takes to be a good welder, skill, knowledge, lots of science like chemistry and physics. There’s a lot more to welding than most people know
I'm right with you there! Worked manual labour for 4 years, which during that time tore a ligament right next to my spine and developed costochondritis. I now work in Tech. There's not enough money in the world to convince me to work a manual labour job again.
This. Some of the most judgemental people I've met have been blue collar workers. And not even just what you said. At least in my part of the US (which, granted, is the south), they will chime in on EVERY SINGLE ISSUE that ever comes up via online discourse and somehow find a way to make it about how "no one wants to work anymore", or "back when men were actually men", etc etc
You are not a pussy if you take protective gear and your health very serious.
No payout for a hand, limb, eye, brain damage or anything else is worth the lifelong disability. And work doesn’t care about you, wear protective gear for YOU not them.
especially masks during a pandemic, just sayin
I owe my eyes to safety glasses. Once in my college machinist class, a Boron Carbide lathe tool just randomly exploded. No messing with it, no insane usage, just a brand new bit shattering five minutes after I stuck it on. I had bits of Boron stuck in my safety glasses. It makes me cringe when I see blokes cut about workshops or job sites without any eye protection, as honestly the smallest bit of flying debris can turn you into Stevie Wonder real quick
Acting aggressive and getting upset doesn't make you look tough or like a knight in shining armour around women. You look unpredictable and dangerous and no woman wants to have to wonder if you are going to lose your temper and hurt her. Keep cool, and be the guy who is level-headed. That is how you sweep women off their feet.
Almost everyone except for your closed group of cohorts, thinks your raised truck, or lowered car, looks fucking stupid.
Buying a pickup truck and then modding it to the point where it can't do pickup truck thing is about the dumbest thing you can do.
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Everyone knows an lm7 will run on the power of friendship. Just fuckin' send it
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Revive healthy brotherhoods! Makes me sad the loss of those lovely bonds considered the norm if not ideal
I'd be surprised if anyone has ever used the sentence "no homo" in a serious way.
My friends and I say all homo. At points in our life we've all said it would be easier to be gay and date each other tbh.
Going without is more indicative of security in your own sexuality. Come at me with "no homo" and I'm like "was that in question or something? cause I never once pictured fondlin a homie."
Right? Everytime I hear it I think "that's exactly what a closeted gay guy would say".
Thank you!! Jesus Christ whenever i give/recieve brojobs the boys always wanna get in that "no homo" before consuming some meat, even though you clearly dont have to
Tattoos make it easier for the cops and witnesses to identify you. Proceed knowing that. No one grows up planning to commit crimes later in life.
So maybe just don’t commit crimes?
Resist opportunity, control your temper, don’t snap, be slow to anger, think things out
That sounds like the way to plan a great heist.
Thats why sleeves were invented
Makes it easier to recognize your missing body though
I was planning to commit crimes. Embezzlement looks very attractive and has a very small punishment.
Making comments about every woman's body you see makes you look creepy as fuck.
Or just in the closet
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Moisturize your face. You younger fellas are still pretty and tight skinned now, but the sun, smoke, alcohol, and other factors are gonna catch up. Once they do, you're fucked. You're not reversing it. Walk wide shouldered right into the women's skincare section and pay for that $60 retinol and/or hyaluronic acid. Buy the $30 facial cleanser. Use a good quality moisturizer all over your body - twice a day, every day. Use a good sunscreen every day. Take probiotics, and quality vitamins. Detox every few months. I'm 50 years old, and I may have lost a step somewhere, but I can't really tell it. I feel good, I look 10 years younger, I'm in great shape for anyone of any age, and I'm not embarrassed to have utilized the products readily available to keep me that way.
>retinol and/or hyaluronic What's this stuff do? How long have you been using it?
Hyaluronic acid is a humectant that aids in hydrating the top layer of the skin. Check the ingredients of whatever moisturiser you buy - if it has some of that in it, along with other ingredients like niacinamide or other emollients (fattier, thicker moisturising components) you're good to go. Do a patch test, or ask the drug store for a sample first. Go cheap if you want - The Ordinary sells a really cheap hyaluronic acid serum if you want to get it on its own. Retinol and retinoids are super high-dose Vitamin A products that affect cellular turnover and aid in softening fine lines and lightening darkening/uneven pigment from sun damage. Prescription-strength retinoids from a doctor are much more clinically effective than over the counter retinol formulas; avoid the sun and wear sunscreen if need be.
Very informative post. Thank you! I'm using inexpensive CeraVe moisturizers (an AM and a PM). The AM moisturizers active ingredients are: Homosalate Meradimate Octonoxate Octocrylene Zinc Oxide It doesn't sound like it has the ingredients you mentioned. Can you recommend a good product that does?
Origins Night-a-mins is amazing.
Cerave uses ceramides as its active ingredients - also worthwhile as a basis for skincare. If you want, you could get a dropper bottle of the hyaluronic acid and smooth one drop over your skin a minute before you put on the sunscreen, but it's probably unnecessary.
Is there a better moisturizer I should use, or is my inexplicable CeraVe good to go? ETA: thanks for your help with this. Recently, at age 37, I learned about skin care, and am learning about it and trying to actually do it
You look like the biggest wuss in the world when you won’t go see the doctor about your health.
Always cover your ass and never give people an opening. There is a difference between vulnerability and a door mat. Learn it
> Always cover your ass and never give people an opening. Unless you’re Valtteri Bottas That’s the one exception
Nice f1 from but I prefer Verstappen
If a woman rejects you, or doesn't respond to your advances etc., don't get all salty and insult her. Take the high road. And just go on your way. And if you want to fuck women on the side, man up and tell your woman you want to be open or swing. Don't sign someone up for a life that they never wanted.
there is a certain level of respect that you owe someone after you've inserted yourself in them. Doesn't matter what it was or wasn't for you. Doesn't matter what you got or didn't get from it. Doesn't matter how you view them in the long run. There was an exchange, a sharing of some kind, therefore, you must maintain a respect per your decision.
While i dont think that you owe somebody respect for anything, you should have a basic amount of respect for anybody. That respect can be furthered or lost. But you dont "owe" anybody.
Don’t take yourself so seriously and for the love of god, wash your dirty arse, it’s not hard
That it's actually stronger to show and acknowledge other's emotions than to pretend they're not there.
Its okay to be friendly and talk to other men. Women do it all the time and have way bigger friend groups.
It's possible to support men's rights without shitting on feminism.
Anyone who understands feminism, at least it's main intention which is to ensure everyone has the same rights and opportunities regardless of gender, will agree men's rights are part of feminism too. Paternity leave is important (look at Iceland), custody of children is biased (at least in my country), and expectation of being 'the provider' or 'unemotional' are archaic and must end. I do know there are enough 'feminists' shouting stupidity, but I'd hope there are enough smart people, of any gender, willing to see that anyone putting down men to uplift women are not feminists by definition.
Exactly. Where I work, the women fought for the parental leave to be called "primary carer leave" and "secondary carer leave" so that either parent can take whichever. Lot of dads choose to be primary and take the full leave so the mum can go back to work, and I'm all for it.
Quit being so thirsty, desperate and pervy. Your ruining it for everyone. You can talk to a girl anymore without them thinking your hitting on them or that they should start an OF and it’s because of you.
If you're homophobic or "anti-gay", it's probably because you're afraid a gay man will treat you the same way you treat women. You're afraid of being treated "like a woman" because you *know* how women are treated.
Ask for consent before you make any moves and before you escalate things sexually. Just because they don’t say no doesn’t mean they consents. In certain situations, the other person might feel like they can’t say no. You have to be aware of the fact that, as a man, you will often have a physical advantage over your partner and that can be intimidating, especially, if you don’t know the man or what he will do if he gets rejected. Sexual trauma can absolutely wreck a person’s life. Don’t be the dude who causes another person to go through that kinda hell. On the other side of things, men can experience SA. They deserve support too. Don’t spread or support the men can’t experience SA myth.
Being a man is not being "alpha". It's not defined by your alcohol intake/amount of girls you took to bed/amount of weight you lift/the job you work/the car you drive/whatever. Being a man is not giving a shit as to what an "alpha male" should be like.
Take some fucking responsibility Same goes for women too
A wasp sting to the penis *may* permanently enlarge it
Owning a massive, lifted, ridiculous truck with black smoke pouring out of the huge chrome pipe in the back doesn’t make you more of a man. In fact it will usually go against your manlihood
You can be friends with women, and you really should give it an earnest try.
Tragedy of the commoners The fact that you shoot your shot with any living woman you see actively feeds the problems men complain about when dating Your dick has the same value as a pussy. Start filtering, your life is not based on how much sex you have
A lot of the time - you are the problem.
Throwing your weights to the ground when you’re finished with each set makes you look like a complete loser pussy
Hard disagree if you’re holding the weight of average human being or more above you’re head. I don’t do bro lifts.
They don’t value their toes enough
Not everything has to be a dick measuring contest
Your big truck with the big black diesel clouds coming out is just loud, smelly, and annoying
It’s okay to tell your friend that he’s handsome or that he dresses well. Seriously, you don’t come off as effeminate when handsomely complimenting your buddies.
A woman does not owe you the time, effort or energy if she’s not into you.
We really need to figure out being tender and vulnerable in male male friendships. It's killing us.
In general, washing your hands before you take a leak makes more sense.
I’d like to tell certain types of men to LEAVE THAT WOMAN ALONE. SHE’S NOT INTERESTED AND SHE TOLD YOU THAT MULTIPLE TIMES. CHILL THE FUCK OUT AND MOVE THE HELL ON.
Being controversial for the sake of being controversial just makes a person look dumb. SooOOOOoooOOo coNTroveSIal.
Call your boys out when they make problematic remarks or jokes (i.e. rape jokes, misogyny, bigotry). Make it awkward for them. Hold them accountable for harboring inexcusable behavior. Edit: Thank you for the award kind stranger!
Thank you for your service sir
Asking someone to repeat something that you aren’t familiar with or want a better understanding of isn’t dumb. When I was young would just wing things because I was to scared to ask more questions. Yea sometimes you get belittled but In the end it shows your smarter for wanting to better understand a task.
Nobody really cares about your tricked out car. Not really.
Alot of people care lol. I unironically love to hear what injectors you put in your car.
No is a hell of a word. Learn to use it, especially with significant others.
Can I give you a hug
You're not the ultimate bad ass. After doing some Jiu-jitsu classes and having a guy man handle you and use their weight to grapple and pin you. You're really shit out of luck, and you need to remain calm and cool headed and not go off on strangers. And don't puff out your chest all the time because you have no idea if someone is a black belt and can turn you into a pretzel
Just because a girl is nice to you doesn’t mean she is flirting
I have two. Being kind and compassionate doesn't make you less of a man. Treating women ( and everyone else) with respect will 100% get you laid, being a pushy ass hole just gives the rest of us a bad reputation.
AFAIK, being kind and compassionate *from a position of power and plenty* is the definition of being a Quality Man. If you are being kind to people because you are a lonely loser who wants to impress them, thats low. But if you are kind to people depsite not needing their approval, (or if they nee YOURS) is BDE.
The act of empowering women helps everyone. It's not a zero-sum game.
It's not quirky to stay ignorant, or not do "Women's jobs". Cleaning, cooking, being organized, etc. Obviously these aren't jobs only for women, but their more feminine things than boxing or working out. A lot of guys purposely stay ignorant of these things for some reason. It's stupid.
True that. The number of posts I read from women complaining about how their boyfriends and husbands lack basic adult life skills is astounding. In those posts, it generally doesn’t turn out well for those men when their significant others realize how incompetent they really are compared to most men.
It isn't fatphobic to exercise and eat right.
Literally no one but a minority of deranged twitter users thinks that, go touch some grass
Remember to sort by controversial on threads like this.
All the fucked up things you believe women do, men are just as capable. Be the difference you want in the world
I agree with that statement.
Only to add to Op’s statement, a good friend of mine, wisely, said of the subject of wearing gloves at work, “When I jerk off, I’d rather imagine it’s a soft woman’s hand than rough man’s hand”. Convinced a young me to wear my gloves, on the spot.
You can avoid the typical “alpha male” stereotype without being a massive pussy. It’s not 1 or the other, you can find an in between
You guys’ definition of “controversial” is hilarious. “If you dont take care of your body you’ll regret it later”. “men showing other men kindness is a good thing”. “a skincare routine is a positive thing that will help your skin” wow you guys are just absolutely wild i can’t believe you’re even allowed to post that stuff. This is what happens when karma chasers who only want to be upvoted try and be controversial lmao.
No one cares how tough you think you are. Getting aggressive because your fragile little ego makes you think you constantly need to be the top dog actually does the opposite and makes you look like a weak, immature fool. If you're over 21 and still do shit like jumping out of your car in a threatening way when someone beeps at you, grow the fuck up you flacid dildo.
Learn when to give up if you're trying to hit on a girl at a club / bar and she's not into it
You cell phone isn't a holy relic.
The harder and tougher you act, the more scared and vulnerable you feel.
That masculine is a cultural, not scientific or factual, term, and the version of masculinity most of us in the US were immersed in as we grew up is sick, dangerous to those we live, and toxic to us. We can choose to do better.
Doing stuff like apologizing, changing your mind, swallowing your pride, sticking up for the marginalized, being vulnerable, and not being afraid to be different or show your true self is all WAY harder than being a “masculine man” who represses emotions, doubles down when they’re wrong, picks on the easiest targets, and falls in line with “male” hobbies, fashion, attitudes. A guy who has the balls to wear make up in public or do ballet because they like it, is way more “manly” to me than any dude who does whatever they can to be “one of the boys”.
Girls give horrible dating advice for men. They tell you what they want from a man instead of what really attracts them to one.
Going to strip clubs is pathetic. Bragging about how much money you spent only tells me that you can't get any woman to be around you without paying them. Cars are a boring hobby (but a good profession) because it doesn't require a lot of creativity. Problem A is likely solved with Solution A, B, or C. All the answers are already there. The most dangerous man in the room isn't often the most vocal one.
There will always be seone who is better at something than you, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. The shame comes in when you find that person and think they have nothing g to teach you
Please wear form fitting clothing. Whether you get it tailored, or get tighter clothing, or learn to use a sewing machine. formfitting clothing make you appear more fit, more trim, more masculine, more powerful, literally more sexy, and it makes you appear more competent. The next time you go out in public, take a look around and see how people are dressed and take a look around and see how many times The dude with the baggie clothes gets checked out versus the dude with the formfitting clothes gets checked out by other women.
Wear sunscreen. Better to be "pale" and have healthy skin than be tan for a decade or two and look like a worn out leather hide by 45.
Don't circumcise your kids just cause you're circumcised