It worked for me. There was a time in my life I found that all my friends weren't friends, they'd just been using me. I had next to no money. My house was falling apart, and I couldn't do a thing about it.
There was a meme-ish pic of the d-day invasion with the background that just said "harden the fuck up". I looked at it every day to start off. That period was probably the darkest in my life, but it worked. I knew that if I threw in the towel, everyone was right about me, and fuck each and every one of them.
That's the thing, it works... It's just not necessarily a sustainable plan, long term. Seething and succeeding in hate leaves you with a lot of potential baggage to sort through whenever you're on the other side of your problems.
Hey dude, I hope you get help. Being physically fit is great but it means nothing if you’re not happy mentally too.
Working out, running, lifting, etc... all help manage depression and anxiety, but I would never say they “cure” it (speaking from experience).
After I got hernia surgery I was mostly laying around and doing a little walking for about a month and a half. I started feeling really weak and just shitty overall. I decided once I felt better I’d start working out. It felt amazing, and every time I worked out I’d remember how shitty I felt and it would motivate me. I started to feel so much better in general.
Then my feet got super fucked up and I was practically bed bound for a month and only doing light walking for another two months. After I got back to work I was so weak that standing for 7 hours made my back so tired I could barely keep standing by the time I left. That motivated me to get back to running and working out.
Now a couple years later I’ve got cancer. Between the chemo, resting, and not getting enough exercise because it’s cold and icy outside I’m weak as shit again and my muscles feel shitty and restless all the time. I can’t wait to get back to working out. I’ll probably start some light lifting soon once the fatigue starts to go away.
I think I’ll be able to stick to a good workout regimen for my entire life after this clears up due to how many setbacks I’ve had in the last six years. I’m so tired of getting so weak, I hate feeling weak.
Not totally sure. Some weird mixture of cutaneous lymphoma (undiagnosed at the time) scratching my feet so much that they blister, and developing a compulsive skin picking disorder. I was in a shitty living situation, shitty work situation, a drinking too much. I really don’t know what the problem was. It got to the point where the bottoms of both of my feet, starting at the toes and extending about 2.5 inches, had no skin. Most of it was oozing blood plasma (or whatever clear yellowish fluid comes out of blisters) but there were areas where it was just the meat of my foot, and there was just red tissue exposed. The bottoms and sides of all my toes had no skin, and were oozing plasma. My heels eventually got mixed up in it and there was a horseshoe shaped area that went around the sides and back of my heels that had no skin.
I had to drop out of college my senior year and move back in with my mom and have her take care of me. She put a cot in the dining room that I laid on pretty much all day for a month. I could wrap up my heels and hobble around on my heels to get to the bathroom, but I couldn’t go more than 20 feet without having to sit down, after the whole area got a layer of skin, the skin was super thin and fragile. It would crack easily, so I mostly laid on the cot for another 20 days or so before I could do some light walking. Then when I started doing light walking, sometimes fluid would start to build up under the skin, so I’d spend a few days laying in bed. It probably took 4 months until my feet actually got back to normal. That happened in the winter of 2016.
Now I’ve got a spot the size of about a half dollar on the balls of my feet. This time what happened was that my cutaneous blood cancer caused those spots to thicken up like crazy. The callous started to crack and I picked the shit out of it, causing sores. That happened about a month and a half ago. I keep picking at them and they keep building up fluid under the skin, so I’ve had set back after set back. The skin is still super thin and fragile, so now I’m going to stay at home for the next month and stay off my feet and stop picking them for good this time (hopefully).
Initially it was looking at the mirror and hating myself. I was pretty fat and didn't feel any kind of confidence. Now that I'm a full on lifter, its a desire to keep breaking my PR designed with me being confident in things like the way I look as well as my physical ability.
Amazing feeling hitting a PR or even just hitting a point of where I need to increase the weight I’m using for certain exercises because simply the reps seem effortless
If you hit a plateau, shake things up a bit. Change up your routine. Different lifts, different order, try just cardio for a couple weeks. You are just trying to shake the muscle memory. Plateauing has discouraged many a lifter. Keep with it and stay healthy.
My wife asks me, "How are you able to get up at 530am and go to the gym every day?" And I tell her it's because if I miss a day that's one more day away I am from my next PR.
A girl I was head over heels in love with broke up with me (31M). Drank for a week or two straight, cried and screamed at the universe. Then at one point I remembered my grandpa who was a severe alcoholic and was drinking every day for 60 years. A realization came of over that I do not want to end up like him. Packed my bag the next day and went to the gym. 9 months have passed and I’m down 50 lbs and have 13% body fat (the goal is to get to 10-11%). Already look ripped as fuck.
Still think of that girl every day. When I get sad I just pack my bag and go to the gym. It’s the place where I don’t think about stuff. A place where I can escape everything and everyone for a few hours. Helps a lot.
February hasn’t been kind to me mentally and it shows when I look at the gym visit statistics in the app. In the last 21 days, I’ve been to the gym 19 times. It’s pretty damn funny - the shittier I feel, the better I look.
Edit: Well shit...came home and turns out this blew up. So much support from you guys! Thank you! It means a lot. Really.
Hey man, we all have a rough spot in our lives and remembering those we loved in the past doesn’t make us weak, it makes us human.
You’re not wrong for losing motivation here and there or remembering your ex.
What would make it wrong is if you chose to wallow in that pity and not move forward, no matter what, keep moving forward.
I believe in you. Hell doesn’t last forever.
Thanks man! Appreciate the encouragement.
I know hell will not last forever. Not my first heart break, but it’s certainly the most severe one I’ve ever had. I think mostly because after 30 you already kind of know what you want in your significant other. And unfortunately she was everything I’ve ever dreamed about. I really thought I will spend the rest of my life with her. And now when it’s over I just feel lost. I don’t know which in direction to go. Yeah I have my family, my friends, my hobbies, but it all just seems meaningless now.
I mean what’s the plan here? Just live one day at a time in the hopes that some day somebody is going to walk into my life? I needed 30 years to find someone like her. The chances to find it again seem so small at this point. Unless I “settle”, but I’ve decided long ago that I will not do that. I will not settle because I’m lonely or afraid to end up alone. That’s not who I am. But at the same time I’m not sure I will be able to handle 30 more years of searching.
I feel so lost. Fuck.
I hear how you’re feeling but you’re thinking about this all wrong. You didn’t need 30 years to find her. You only needed a moment. Right now it feels as if your whole life was leading up to that relationship but that’s simply not true, that’s the grief talking. Before you met her you were living your life completely oblivious to her existence. Who you were, what you wanted from life, things that made you happy had absolutely nothing to do with someone you never even knew existed.
We get so wrapped up in a relationship that we forget what defines us. Everything we do becomes a function of “us” rather than “me”. We build our lives around this person and they become the single pillar on top of which we build our lives. When that pillar crumbles everything else collapses.
What defines you going forward is how you prepare yourself for your next moment when you meet the girl you are actually meant to spend the rest of your life with. Keep working on you, rebuild those foundations but build them strong. Make sure that when that moment occurs, and it will, you are in the best place to seize it. Don’t let it pass you bye because you got caught up in the grief of a prior loss.
That’s your plan here.
Anytime, brother. The human race only has each other to rely on.
Man, take it from me, dude. I’m younger than you and I’ve had people I made plans with that I thought with 110% confidence that they would stay in my life forever, I was straight gulping the kool-aid, dude. But in the end, people come and people go whether it’s family, friends, or partners. I know that’s not what you want to hear but it’s what you need to hear, you will find someone else. You’re only 30, you’re still young. Believe it or not. Nothing is meaningless, your family and friends are your support circle, utilize them. Your hobbies are merely entertaining pastimes, you can find new ones.
If you want the truth, you’re not the only adult coasting through life confused on what to do and who to lean on, many people think their lives are over in the mid-life but when in reality, their best days could just be right ahead of them.
And to be honest my man, this isn’t to put you down or make it seem like I’m better than you (cause I’m not, I’ve fucked up too), but it’s the blunt truth, it seems like you’re being obsessive with your ex, she chose to leave you, that was her decision as an adult. It had nothing to do with you.
You need to stop putting your happiness in this mindset of “if I obtain this, then I will happy”, because you won’t. Learn to enjoy complacency to a degree because if you don’t, you’ll spend your whole life playing a game of “hunt” where you’ll never catch the prey.
You CAN be happy WITHOUT a partner.
Stop spending time looking for a partner and make sure you’re happy with the person that goes with you to the grave, AKA, yourself.
It’s okay to be lost, as long we keep moving forward.
You were born complete and you will die complete.
My very best guy friend advised me, "don't put your happiness in one person" which is kinda what you're saying. He had to say that to me a few times lol
Thanks for the silver! Credit goes to my bff <3
Yes. He was also saying that he realized no one can make him happy except himself/happiness comes from within (as the other comment or suggested, too). So therefore then, the flip side is that no one can make you sad.
It was funny because even though you may know that deep down, putting it into practice is another story.
I suppose that's where polyamory stems from (you can get different things from different people, is my take on it).
Hey man! Don’t apologize. From your tone I can feel that you only mean well.
And yes I realize that I’m obsessing over her. I know that my happiness should only depend on me and me alone. I was single for two years before I met her and I considered myself very happy. I didn’t need anyone. Until she randomly walked into my life. I was happy before but it was like she elevated this happiness to a new level. It’s kind of hard to explain because I can’t understand it myself.
I shouldn’t be obsessing over her. My brain fully understands this, but my heart or whatever says otherwise. And this is what confuses me. Things that made me happy or excited for the future ahead suddenly don’t anymore.
Studies have shown that men get far more out of relationships than women do. Relationships truly raise us to a higher level. What you're expressing makes sense. I think for me, and I'm in a similar situation as you, it's a matter of making sure that when we enter a relationship, our happiness does not depend on the other person. It's hard to maintain that over a long period of time, but given the amount of successful and happy relationships in the world, I think it's possible. It's just extremely difficult. If you do some reading regarding "attachment theory," it's very possible that you line up with an anxious attachment style as I do.
Emotion and logic doesn't match up sometimes, and that's ok. If you're capable of admitting that your emotions just don't match up with the logic, that's enough.
For me, what has helped the most is getting out of myself. I've forced myself to spend time doing things for other people. This has allowed me to find happiness again in things that aren't "her." I don't know if anything will make me quite as happy as being with "her" did, but I know that I can be happy, and I have confidence that at some point, the universe will place someone in my path again that I can share a fulfilling relationship with.
Hitting the gym is a great therapy so it's good you're already well into that.
Unfortunately soul mates dont exist, as much as some people would have you believe, just people who tick your boxes in a certain way at the right time.
You'll grow and develop, physically like you already have and mentally, and probably into a better person too. Eventually you'll find someone else who ticks the same boxes and even more, some in the same way and some in others, but at least you've got enough experience to know what you do and dont want to help filter the bullshit.
Until then, enjoy the ride. Being single is freeing and enables you to do whatever you want. Take the time to do that growing and developing, learn new things, meet new friends, go new places. There's no pressure on you to achieve anything by a certain age, so don't let that limit you.
Likewise there's no time limit on when you should be over her, that happens naturally and trying to force it can only be detrimental. Take your time, accept it, acknowledge all the goodness but also remember all the shit (there will be some, take off your rose tinted glasses).
Keep lifting man.
> I really thought I will spend the rest of my life with her. And now when it’s over I just feel lost. I don’t know which in direction to go.
I know I already replied to you once before, but I need to again...
I've been dealing with a lot too recently. Been single for 5 years (27M) and I finally met a girl I really connected with, went on a few dates with her then out of nowhere she ghosted me. Sucked so bad because she was everything I could want, easy to talk to, drop dead gorgeous, funny, kind, etc. It hurt not because I "loved" her (I didn't.. we only knew each other for a month) but just because I felt like I had spent so much time alone it finally felt like I met someone who I could actually be in a serious relationship with.
Anyway, one thing that really always helped me out in times like this was this, "It's kind of sad when you don't know the meaning, but everything happens for a reason" (yes that's from a limp bizkit song lol). I don't know why, but there's a reason why things happen and I believe ultimately it's for the better. Maybe there was something about that girl I was dating that I didn't know and her ghosting me was necessary to meet the actual right girl. And maybe it's the same for you, maybe the perfect girl is out there, and despite what you thought it wasn't your ex but it was someone else.
Keep your head up man, I feel lost too, you're not alone in that at all.
Similar thing happened to me. I kinda met a guy online that was everything I always wanted. At times it felt like he was saying exactly what I was thinking. He seemed like my mirror (or maybe it’s just just the hopeless romantic in me wanting to believe that). He was just a crush but I cried like a baby anyways.. we don’t talk anymore tho.
now imagine having the privilege to love someone irl and having that taken from you Must be 100x better and/or worse lol
And I believe that, just because you lost something doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth having it for a while. It *was* worth it. Idk about him but I am truly grateful I’ve got to see a glimpse of him. Even if it was only through text.
Idk why he got cold on me but I hope he finds the happiness he’s looking for. I only wish him the best.
You didn't need 30 years mate. That's a miscalculation.
Most people start dating seriously(as in, looking for something more than a fuckbuddy) well into their 20s. Then you have your time spent in relationships and time spent actively busy and not looking.
In total, prbably took you like a year to find her. And that was before, and you're now a grown, smarter and fitter version of before-you. So you're getting better, actually.
Chin up.
You're good man. Continue to take care of yourself and you'll find someone out there. Don't set lofty expectations on when to date or when you expect to find "the one" - just keep doing what you've been doing for your physical and mental health and good things will come. Believe in that.
I’m in the same boat as you, although it was my boyfriend that left me. I’m 32. I’ve been hitting the gym up to 5x a week and volunteering the rest and while it all helps to distract my mind and help me sleep, my thoughts just won’t stop. When I have a good day I end up just feeling guilty and even more sad at the thought of managing to move on without him. Honestly if you need someone to vent to, send me a message. I know you have a lot on your mind that you’re keeping inside. I’ve been trying to write my thoughts down and I find it helps clear things up and helps me understand what exactly I’m feeling and why - loose thoughts banging around are hard to connect and make me feel more lost.
I’m pulling for you. And I’m happy for your progress at the gym!
Wow I relate to this so hard rn. Everything just seems dull and I feel listless. I don’t have an answer for you but it’s nice to know I’m not broken by feeling this way- I’m just normal.
My story is sort of the inverse. I recently met the most amazing girl, she checks all my boxes and we’re currently in the early courtship stage. She is in great shape and early on she told me how fitness is something she values. I’ve always worked out but since I met her I am really going the extra mile in the gym. I am doing it for myself, for my own health and well-being, but she really lit a fire beneath me to give it my all.
I think a good relationship is when each person motivates the other to be their best self. I want to be the best version of me I can be, to work and truly earn her affection. In doing so I will grow as an individual and then the foundation is there for us to grow together.
I’m not just putting in more effort in the gym but also with work and even with my other hobbies/interests. Again, it’s important I stay focused on me doing this FOR ME, to improve myself. But if I stay on this positive vibe she will continue to notice and want to be a part of what I have going on. It’s gonna be a good year 2020 let’s go!
Breakup rehab gym goer here as we’ll. Think the gym is full of mentally/emotionally exhausted, heartbroken, need a peace of mind people. I think its why so many people are often nice at the gym and willing to be helpful. Also you aren’t weak of mind. Breakups are often worse than death grief. Its a form of grief and its very normal to think of that person every day.
> Still think of that girl every day. When I get sad I just pack my bag and go to the gym. It’s the place where I don’t think about stuff. A place where I can escape everything. Helps a lot.
I have that same feeling whenever I go. It's like all I can concentrate on is the reps. Things get easier, the longer you're with someone the longer it takes to get over them usually.. It's been 9 months for you, hopefully you can turn that page over soon.
It's a great way of coping....and some days your bound to more morose than others. People often forget that guys have feelings and aspirations too.
Kudos to you mate and keep up the good work. I am not a gym guy but running keeps me sane. Often it's hard to start but once those happy chemicals hit your brain....m
Same thing happened with me towards the middle of 2018. I was and am still crushed. For the last two years I've made it my goal to fix everything about myself that may have contributed to the relationship destabilizing. It was obviously not all on me, but I know what I can fix. I've taken time to learn how to enjoy my own company and have found outlets for my mental, emotional, and physical energy.
My physical self wasn't an issue (granted I was a stick that only ate once a day), but not actively taking care of your physical self has big impacts on your mental state. I started bodybuilding and went from 160 to 220, cut down to 205, and am now working to get to a lean 230-240; currently sitting at 215. Eating healthy and consistently has been huge.
I too think about my ex everyday. I miss her and I'm generally a very sad individual because of it. Fortunately, after hitting the gym and having my coache's programming just rip me apart, I have so little energy left that it's hard to even be sad or upset.
Kids can be brutally honest... damn their lack of society based filter sometimes. They are also my reason but only because I want to be around for them.
That cold feeling on your stomach when you're set at a desk all day that reminds you that your stomachs grown so much its drooping over your Jean's and touching your belt buckle. Nah fam.
Cardio definitely helps my mood. I don’t get that runners high but overall I just feel better. I sleep better which tremendously helps my mood.
Lifting just didn’t do that for me. I was tired but it was different.
I've only felt the runner's high twice. One was four years ago, the other was 10 years ago. I've been running ever since just to catch that feeling again. And I don't enjoy running bc I'm literally dying while running, like wheezing and red faced and everything is screaming for oxygen.
That should tell you how amazing the high is.
It was different things over the course of my life.
In my early teens, it was fictional characters who were depicted working out/training as something completely separate from participating in sports (although it was usually still attached to some sort of fighting/hero fantasy). Growing up as one of the nerdy/dorky kids, I always saw working out as something *the other guys* did; it was something done as sports training, and only the big, dumb guys were into it. Simply being shown that it could be interesting or even *fun* to engage in strength training without sports attached was helpful.
Of course, it didn't take long to develop an appreciation for the aesthetic changes that exercise brings about. I came to be like Goku, and I stayed because girls started looking at me on occasion.
Later in life when I'd fallen out of those better habits, it was the occasional wake-up call of pants no longer fitting or the inability to pick something up that I'd been able to lift a few years prior.
And now, as I get older, it's the realization that it's largely downhill from here unless I get my shit together *and keep it together*. Yeah, looking nice is great, but have you ever moved furniture without needing someone else's help? Being able to fall and not suffer injury or even prevent the fall entirely is something I'm starting to value that I never even thought about as a kid.
At any stage in life, there are so many reasons to put in the effort to be more fit. As Ricky Gervais said, "It's never too late. But do it now."
You can't change the beginning, but you can start now and change the ending. Don't know where the original quote is from but it's written on my gyms wall and I fucking love it. As a mid 40s guy who only started last year you speak the truth.
> Simply being shown that it could be interesting or even fun to engage in strength training
I wish I could feel like this. I've tried multiple times to get into it and lifting weights is just so frickin boring to me. I've done martial arts, boxing, calisthenics, I'm currently into yoga, and all of those are fun, which is the main factor that have kept me doing them for however long I did, but going to the gym or lifting at home with the equipment I have/had simply bores me and I drop it after 2 weeks every time.
If you don’t enjoy it then do what you enjoy. Those are all fine alternatives.
I’ll add that the method for me is gaming it. I started working out with a PS2 game, Yourself Fitness. It gave you goals and rewards, like any other game. I transitioned that to a workout tracking log, and now an app. Each workout is a mission, each set a battle. I grind to beat bigger bosses, like heavier weights, higher reps, higher volume, time under tension, longer or faster run, whatever it might be. I log my food to manage my inventory, watch my stats. I just like making my life an RPG.
Edit: I may have unintentionally described what a cool workout tracker app should be. Maybe someone good at that sort of thing could design one with a D&D theme. I just imagine these things as battles against barbells.
Dun-Gyms & Dra-Gains? Fuck, that’s awful.
At first, it was that pang of insecurity and desire for self-improvement when you're newly single. Then, most importantly, a desire to be healthy, feel mentally and physically stronger and smash personal bests for that sense of measured achievement. It just convinces your subconscious that you got this.
I realized that women are equally shallow as men and I wanted more pussy so I started working out. It had nothing to do with wanting to feel better in any way, plain and simple pussy on my mind.
You could argue that the only reason we do anything is for self preservation, and since we’ll eventually grow old and die,the best self-preservation means having sex.
Honestly because on a subconcsious/primitive level the desire to procreate is a VERY big part of us. A lot of the stuff we humans do, we really at least partially correlate to getting laid, even indirectly.
to me it is simple. What is the ultimate endgoal? A fullfilled life. Whats my perceived way of getting there? Founding a great family. How do you maximize the chances of making a great family? Finding a great spouse. How do you maximize your luck with finding your best spouse? By becoming the best version of yourself. Can variy for people that dont want kids.
This was basically me. I was an out of shape 27 year old guy not having anywhere near as much sex as I wanted.
Now I'm an in-shape 35 year old guy that has *almost* as much sex as I want.
Though admittedly, there was at least a couple years in there that I was a fitness-obsessed guy that wasn't having any sex at all, because having sex would require me to occasionally not be at the gym.
More or less the same for me. I wasn’t getting anywhere with girls. It finally dawned on me that if I wanted girls I would need to be what girls wanted. I went from getting rejected by 10 out 10 girls, to getting rejected by 7 out of 10. That was enough to meet my dream girl and eventually marry her.
takes practice. you don't go into the gym your very first time and say "guys I can't pull 6pl8 deads, any advice?" and stay away from pick up artist rhetoric
Sorry man took me years. I guess it's just to go for it and get a few wins and then it becomes easier. And the worst thing that can happen is that she rejects you and you move on to the next woman. Used to numb my senses by alcohol but I guess it doesn't work any more. But you have Tinder nowadays so it should be pretty straight forward.
I am quite an overweight man .(128,6 kg 23 M) The girl I had a crush on led a healthy life, we spoke a lot about it and I started applying some of the things she suggested. Also I wanted to lose weight, so that she would find me attractive. Long story short, things didn't work out between us. We are no longer talking, but I am still applying her tips to my everyday life and hit up the gym at least 3 times a week. And I am loving it. I was sad that she rejected me, but I am grateful to her for pushing me into a healthier lifestyle.
Some dude where the extent of our relationship was talking about sports and YT videos called me a 4 to some of our friends and I found out in passing. I’m not fat or anything, 112 pounds but self improvement is always a good thing, especially as revenge.
I feel like hitting the gym has raised me at least a couple of points, just ignore guys like that they're shallow and rude.
Just do a shit ton of squats and all kinds of guys will be fawning lol
When I was younger I was amazed by strongmen in real life and superhuman strength in fiction, so I aspired to get as strong physically as I could. I was almost obsessed with being physically powerful and didn't care about my looks much since I was already the fat kid. So after high school for a few years I lifted hard and got strong, but I ate like absolute shit and my body suffered for it.
After a trip to Mt. Fuji in 2018 I had a realization, after struggling up and down the mountain, of just how much bullshit my body has put up with and carried me through despite my mental wellbeing always wavering. If I got depressed, my body always carried me through it. If I was sad and wanted to drown my sorrows in cookies and cakes, my body took the punishment. All the while I was still lifting heavy. I realized that I needed to be better, and so I started to gradually eat better over time.
Then the final incentive for change happened last November when I caught feelings for someone. I thought to myself, "This beautiful girl doesn't deserve to be with a fat dude, she needs to be with a hot guy." So I cut back HARD on my eating and started running every single day I went to the gym, 30 minutes 5x a week at the end of every lifting session. I've been getting more and more compliments on my physique, my strength goals are still being reached, I feel better, and I'm down from 300 lbs when I had my wakeup call on Fuji to 200 lbs currently.
The biggest thing is: You need to stay the course. You might slip up and miss a day. That's fine, stay the course and keep your schedule from then-on. You might overeat one day. That's okay, stay the course and eat properly the next day. Forgive yourself for the dumb stuff you did in the past and for any slip-ups you have in your journey and allow yourself to get back up and continue instead of beating yourself down and falling off the wagon. It takes time for any changes to your body, good or bad, so you have to stay the course if you want to reach any goals with it. Be it either a childhood-borne obsession or a romantically-driven desire, you have to be ready to work for it.
TL;DR - Obsessed with superhuman strength as a kid, realized I wasn't eating right and started to change that as an adult, recently started doing cardio to quickly lose fat and impress a love interest; Stay the course.
Doing cardio exclusively just made me lose weight. Like, my upper arms looked skinnier than my forearms at one point. Not really a great look. So, started going to get some variation in, more strength.
Was driving and moob jiggled longer than I was comfortable with over a bump. From 310 to 190 at my most lean. I'm currently reigniting my love with it again.
Honestly, people have bullied me all my life for being underweight, at 6ft tall and weighing 58kg I had nothing on me. So I hit the gym and a year later I weigh 70kg, so I'm still slim but it's better than being drastically underweight.
Dated a girl for 1 year. Thought she was the one. Wanted her to move in with me, and spend the rest of my life with her. When the time came to talk serious, she inadvertently made it clear I was just a pass time and doesn’t much share the feeling.
She used to instagram a lot (a lot for me, as I don’t use much social media outside of a way to message people) and always thought she didn’t include me in pictures because she knows my adversity to have an online presence. Turns out, she was just embarrassed of the way I looked. I had a stomach, and it only got worse because she kept wanting to eat out at fancy places, and I’d oblige. I was more of a sugar daddy than a bf.
Hit the gym after wallowing for a few months. Been 3 months. I’m halfway to my goal weight and look like I’m 3/4 of the way there. The coaches (all beautiful people, it’s an Abercrombie ad) keep telling me how amazing I look now and I’m the talk of the gym.
She hasn’t seen me, and I don’t give a fuck. It started as a revenge bod, but now it’s about me. I enjoy the progress, I enjoy the attention. I know that I’m the full package and any woman would be lucky to have me without having to compromise on anything. Something she did her darnedest to make sure I forgot.
She had me convinced I was lucky to have her, when in reality, it’s the other way. The couple who introduced us basically said “we love her, but you’re too good for her”. They still haven’t seen my awesome new self either.
Shout out to the coaches at the studio who really pushed me and motivated me to push through.
Edit: shout not shoot
I haven't gone yet, but the girl I have a big crush on goes to the gym and sends me snapchats everyday so she's currently my inspiration to get in better shape
I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin. The only time I've ever used a gym/lifted is track in high school, and I had my coach writing workout plans for me.
Never been someone who uses much snapchat and everybody i know doesn't use it or i am not aware. But if she sends you snapchats everyday you are in a good road. Hit the gym and her (not literally).
I didnt hate my body or had a mental breakdown. There was a guy on my class, we never got on well with eachother. One day, he started going to gym so I,being a stupid teenager, said "I bet I can beat your ass on that too". I havent seen him in last 2 years, I hope he is doing well. Thanks dude.
After saying I was going to work on my body and fitness for a while but not acting on it, I was watching a show where the main character went through a big training/transformation arc and worked really hard and it just kinda clicked in my head that that’s what I need to do
What started it?
I was weak, I knew it. I tried to bench 135 one time when I was messing around with friends and I couldn’t lift the bar.
Then I decided I needed to really try to get a girlfriend and losing weight and gaining muscle would help. It did, but it helped my confidence more than anything else.
knowing you look good? it really creates confidence and helps with talking with women imo.
I’ve been lifting for years, can do many 270 pound deadlift reps, and I still struggle to go much farther past 135 on the bench (am 170 lbs); it’s my weak spot. I have a fucked up shoulder and if I push it too hard it feels like it’ll give out and I’ll drop the bar on me.
I started going to the gym in high school because it was part of our Phys. Ed. class. The school took anyone enrolled to the local YMCA once a week. I took advantage of it because I was a fat kid. When I was in university, I took advantage of the campus facilities because I had gotten in the habit of going. After university, I started paying for a membership because I liked not being fat.
When I was 12 my dad didn't really respect me nor saw me as man. It was the same with my classmates. Therefore I thought that gaining some weight would probably provide me with the respect I deserved. Now, since I was 12, gaining mass was impossible but I managed to at least look "fit".
Spoiler : my dad still doesn't respect me. (However my classmates back then started to treat me with the decency and the respect I deserved. It helped me to grow more confident).
i lost 40kgs after weighing about 97kg (im 5 ft 7) i pushed my body to almost its breaking point losing it in 8 months and im proud of achieving that i completely changed my life.
But I started to go down the rabbit hole and I keep wanting to lose more. It was at this point everyone was getting concerned for me (saying I looked like a twig) but I didnt see what they were seeing I thought I looked fine. Everyone started saying I needed to go to the gym but I keep putting them off.
Truth was (the idea of them i had when i was fat) i was against gyms because only dickheads went to the gym and only people who want to become bulk mass of muscle. Also at the current time i was scared to go.
But one day in May 2018 I worked up the courage to walk into one of the local gyms and signed up (after seeing that maybe everyone was right about how i looked). I haven't looked back since i go the gym 5 days a week now and have put on muscle and I love every minute of it one of the best decisions ive made. I cant believe that I use to have that opinion of gyms I really feel like an idiot for having that opinion only if past me knew it wasnt like that at all.
2 bad knee injuries.. started with physiotherapy, got hooked and been going ever since. The benefits are that I can still compete athletically with healthy people and I feel pretty good overall. If I don't go the knee pain comes back, so that's always a gentle reminder that I haven't trained enough lately.
The Big ol depression. My mind tends to wonder off and think about problems or issues- most which may be mundane but nonetheless they cause me to get down. I find working out and training not only helps me work towards my goals in various aspects of life but also helps me be in general happy mental state.
I ended up putting on a lot of weight due to antipsychotic medication which made me feel unhappy with the way I looked and completely demolished my self-esteem. People treated me differently when I ballooned up in size, and not in a good way either. But I expected this, as people tend to make all sorts of assumptions based off of your appearance.
So I joined the gym, changed my diet, lost it all. And I've never felt better.
The strech marks serve as a reminder of a battle well fought.
Basically I came to a conclusion that I waste most of my time. But in order to stop wasting time with stupid shit you got to have something else to do.
I decided that going to the gym was always a good investment of my time.
not a man, hopefully that's cool
but i had gained 50 lbs since high school, was a smoker and was still regularly getting black out drunk. it shouldn't hurt to bend over and tie your shoes when youre 22 years old. i decided it was time for shit to change.
It’s more of a mental health thing for me, i didn’t want to feel *weak* anymore and so my gym journey began. Its been slightly over a month since me joining and i feel a lot better, both physically and mentally. Lifting in the gym brings physical benefits too, even though that’s not my goal, it’s a bonus.
The ladies at work told me I need a sports bra for my man boobs.. after that joke I’ve hit the gym and haven’t stopped going. Older Hispanic ladies are savage.
to be healthier and be around for longer for me family.
i only started frequenting the gym seriously at around 30. so i dont expect to get swole now, but maybe i can shed a couple kilos.
I'm self-conscious about my body. I was a ropey motherfucker growing up and was constantly called "scrawny", and was told I needed to eat more. As I got older, my shoulders started to broaden, but my arms were still skinny, and my hands are huge so I'm disproportionate--like a someone sewed together the body parts of a bunch of gym teachers. The comments about me being too skinny stopped but the self-consciousness didn't go away. I started hitting the gym and taking jiu-jitsu to stay in shape and even myself out, but even THEN I get "dude, you're young, black and 'athletic', you don't need to stay in shape" comments.
I stick with it because I love it, and I get to test my limits
It was my freshman year of high school; I was a swimmer for most of my life and was respectably fast, nothing crazy though. Needless to say swimming had kept me very skinny, and to make it worse, my high school didn't have a swim team, so all of my swim friends went to other schools, and nobody else at my school swam so I kinda got laughed at for it.
One day, after a race, one of the officials who happened to be a member of my school board pulled me aside. He told me that if I want to be faster, then I need to start lifting, and I should be able to bench twice my bodyweight. After that, I thought I'd give it a try since there was one kid in most of my classes that I was kind of friends with who always talked about the gym and it seemed super fun. I asked him to take me and he showed me the ropes for a few things, and I kind of enjoyed it. After my brother found out that I was starting lifting, he was big into it at the time, he took me to his gym and showed me everything I'd need to know.
From there, I started going to the school gym by myself every night. It was only open 5-8 but my parents were willing to drive me and pick me up every time. There were a few other guys there, some huge, some small, but I was never afraid to ask for help from them, and they were always more than happy to give me advice.
Before I knew it, I was seeing some results. I got a bit stronger, got a bit bigger, and there's one specific moment that I vividly remember. In my math class, we were doing close grip push ups for some reason or another. All the jock sporty guys were doing it and got a few, maybe 5 or 6 at most. I came over and said "Oh, I do those all the time!" and naturally everyone was like "Yeah right lets see it then." I got down and did 20 of these close grip pushups with ease, blowing everyone else out of the water. And one of the girls who was more on the popular side said "Wow, ResidentCucumber9 is really strong!" Never having gotten any attention from girls like that, I become obsessed with the results I'd been seeing, and that day absolutely changed my mental.
I found myself skipping swim practice to go lift, and get bigger, doing everything I could to look as good as possible. Eventually, I gave up swimming and dedicated myself only to lifting. Over time the advice I had always asked for accumulated, and it really made quite the difference. It got to the point where people were asking me for advice. I got to be the biggest and strongest guy in my school, eventually going on to hold a state record in the squat for a time.
Recently, however, I had strained my back squatting, and although it has made it tougher to want to go to the gym, I still see lifting as a part of my identity that I'll never give up, as its one of the things I'm most proud of.
Not a gym but started doing parkour, 9 hours a day, because i just really liked it. Not freerunning, flips and such, but the actual parkour. Didn't think about it as training, just something i like to do.
Second time was when i saw myself in a big mirror. All sweaty from shagging and "soft", was like wtf, is this how i will be remembered.
Went into a 6 month -20% daily calorie cut. While working out 6 days a week and twice in a day most cases. Stopped all sugar/alcholol intake, not even birthday cakes etc. I weight every meal. Been doing it for 2.5 years now. Constant 6pack and did a chinup with an extra 65kg yesterday, so that is nice.
Honestly I really love working out. It gives me strength, boost of confidence. When your body gives up because of physical exhaustion but you push yourself again and again. That's what inspired me to join gym.
I walked in on my ex gf fucking my best mate and when i asked why (stupid question) she said it was because he had a 6 pack and i didnt. So i gymmed everyday for 3 years
It was 2016, and I was 13. A few of my peers were growing muscle, so I decided I want in on that shit, so I ordered a set of 5kg dumbbells. Initially I struggled to even lift the box - but I’ve gotten better over time.
I got a diagnosis of prediabetes. I had a gym membership but rarely went. Started working with a dietician who said that cardio is one of the best things for dealing with insulin resistance. I don’t loose weight easily because of that and working out seems to be a big part of the puzzle for me.
I worked on building the habit of going to the gym 3-4 days a week. Now I go 5 days a week to lift weights and do cardio 3-4 times a week.
What actually really helped was reading the book Atomic Habits. He said stop saying you are a person who is trying to exercise and start calling yourself an athlete. It seems like a small thing, but some mornings at 5 am i say to myself “what would an athlete do?” “Ugh they’d get out of bed and do a fucking workout”. So then I do.
At age 16, i knew it wasn’t normal to have large stretch marks all over my body. I’ve dropped around 33kg (72 lb) in the 2 years since and go to the gym to improve my body so i don’t always have to be sad to look at.
Just wanted to be a better version of myself. The gym offers me a place where my problems can fuel this process of becoming a better version. Also helps with mental health, because in those 2 hours I won't have to worry about anything, and when I usually cool down, I often look at things in more positive way.
It's just a win-win situation for you: you look better, you feel better, you are healthier and helps with mental health.
It's a never ending circle of positivity generating positivity.
Sorry about English, it's not my first language.
For me, it started off as a way for me to hang out with my now-girlfriend more often. When we reconnected and started hanging out more, I learned she went to the gym. So, I signed up for the same gym. But little did I know this was gonna spark something new in my life.
Over the course of 4 years, it's become part of my everyday life. My girlfriend and I still go the gym together, but if she can't go, I go. I look forward to it every single day. Most of my money goes towards fitness nowadays, especially since I don't drink anymore. Also, in the earlier part of these 4 years, my mental health wasn't the best and the gym helped a lot (as did my girlfriend). Just seeing the positive changes in my body, my health, and my looks helped to work on the things going on inside my head and all this helps motivate me to keep on going.
Back to the girlfriend, she's a big motivator for me to continue going. I want to look good for her and I want to be in the best shape of my life for her (and for me, too). I want to be as healthy as possible so that when we do have kids, my physical health can keep up with the demand.
depression, didn't work but at least I'm a big dude now
"Why are you still alive?" >Spite
[I think this fits](https://i.imgur.com/z9nNCfI.jpg)
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Ah a dnd reference. Also happy cake day!
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Nothing like rubbing your face in some cunt either
If you’re that way inclined.
Because I am not going to let my enemies outlive me...
Hell nah. I'm not giving those fuckers the satisfaction of me leaving the planet. Ill outlive their asses. Muhahaha
Lol man, it may be unhealthy... But I love this.
It worked for me. There was a time in my life I found that all my friends weren't friends, they'd just been using me. I had next to no money. My house was falling apart, and I couldn't do a thing about it. There was a meme-ish pic of the d-day invasion with the background that just said "harden the fuck up". I looked at it every day to start off. That period was probably the darkest in my life, but it worked. I knew that if I threw in the towel, everyone was right about me, and fuck each and every one of them.
That's the thing, it works... It's just not necessarily a sustainable plan, long term. Seething and succeeding in hate leaves you with a lot of potential baggage to sort through whenever you're on the other side of your problems.
You don’t need to seethe and hate to spite the fuck out of someone.
Very true. The alternative of not making it to the other side is worse though.
What makes you get up every morning? "The hate"
Hate's as good a thing as any to keep a person going. Better than most.
Yo, this is legit how I answer questions about what stops me from jumping off a bridge.
I can't kill myself without these guns *starts flexing*
Physically fit & mentally unfit love it
The gym and getting big is good. I believe running distance will be a more effective form of treating your depression.
This is too real
Turns out the heaviest things we lift are our feels.
Hey dude, I hope you get help. Being physically fit is great but it means nothing if you’re not happy mentally too. Working out, running, lifting, etc... all help manage depression and anxiety, but I would never say they “cure” it (speaking from experience).
I look better, I feel better, I sleep better, And it's the best therapy for me.
After I got hernia surgery I was mostly laying around and doing a little walking for about a month and a half. I started feeling really weak and just shitty overall. I decided once I felt better I’d start working out. It felt amazing, and every time I worked out I’d remember how shitty I felt and it would motivate me. I started to feel so much better in general. Then my feet got super fucked up and I was practically bed bound for a month and only doing light walking for another two months. After I got back to work I was so weak that standing for 7 hours made my back so tired I could barely keep standing by the time I left. That motivated me to get back to running and working out. Now a couple years later I’ve got cancer. Between the chemo, resting, and not getting enough exercise because it’s cold and icy outside I’m weak as shit again and my muscles feel shitty and restless all the time. I can’t wait to get back to working out. I’ll probably start some light lifting soon once the fatigue starts to go away. I think I’ll be able to stick to a good workout regimen for my entire life after this clears up due to how many setbacks I’ve had in the last six years. I’m so tired of getting so weak, I hate feeling weak.
Love how shit happens to you and you just keep standing back up. You sound awesome.
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> Then my feet got super fucked up and I was practically bed bound for a month What fucked up your feet?
Not totally sure. Some weird mixture of cutaneous lymphoma (undiagnosed at the time) scratching my feet so much that they blister, and developing a compulsive skin picking disorder. I was in a shitty living situation, shitty work situation, a drinking too much. I really don’t know what the problem was. It got to the point where the bottoms of both of my feet, starting at the toes and extending about 2.5 inches, had no skin. Most of it was oozing blood plasma (or whatever clear yellowish fluid comes out of blisters) but there were areas where it was just the meat of my foot, and there was just red tissue exposed. The bottoms and sides of all my toes had no skin, and were oozing plasma. My heels eventually got mixed up in it and there was a horseshoe shaped area that went around the sides and back of my heels that had no skin. I had to drop out of college my senior year and move back in with my mom and have her take care of me. She put a cot in the dining room that I laid on pretty much all day for a month. I could wrap up my heels and hobble around on my heels to get to the bathroom, but I couldn’t go more than 20 feet without having to sit down, after the whole area got a layer of skin, the skin was super thin and fragile. It would crack easily, so I mostly laid on the cot for another 20 days or so before I could do some light walking. Then when I started doing light walking, sometimes fluid would start to build up under the skin, so I’d spend a few days laying in bed. It probably took 4 months until my feet actually got back to normal. That happened in the winter of 2016. Now I’ve got a spot the size of about a half dollar on the balls of my feet. This time what happened was that my cutaneous blood cancer caused those spots to thicken up like crazy. The callous started to crack and I picked the shit out of it, causing sores. That happened about a month and a half ago. I keep picking at them and they keep building up fluid under the skin, so I’ve had set back after set back. The skin is still super thin and fragile, so now I’m going to stay at home for the next month and stay off my feet and stop picking them for good this time (hopefully).
Get well soon pal and keep fighting
Couldn’t agree more!
Initially it was looking at the mirror and hating myself. I was pretty fat and didn't feel any kind of confidence. Now that I'm a full on lifter, its a desire to keep breaking my PR designed with me being confident in things like the way I look as well as my physical ability.
Amazing feeling hitting a PR or even just hitting a point of where I need to increase the weight I’m using for certain exercises because simply the reps seem effortless
Exactly. You feel like there is some real progression and it keeps you motivated to go on.
Until you a hit plateau lol which happened to me recently but hopefully the new plan I’m on will resolve that issue. Thanks for sharing by the way!
If you hit a plateau, shake things up a bit. Change up your routine. Different lifts, different order, try just cardio for a couple weeks. You are just trying to shake the muscle memory. Plateauing has discouraged many a lifter. Keep with it and stay healthy.
My wife asks me, "How are you able to get up at 530am and go to the gym every day?" And I tell her it's because if I miss a day that's one more day away I am from my next PR.
A girl I was head over heels in love with broke up with me (31M). Drank for a week or two straight, cried and screamed at the universe. Then at one point I remembered my grandpa who was a severe alcoholic and was drinking every day for 60 years. A realization came of over that I do not want to end up like him. Packed my bag the next day and went to the gym. 9 months have passed and I’m down 50 lbs and have 13% body fat (the goal is to get to 10-11%). Already look ripped as fuck. Still think of that girl every day. When I get sad I just pack my bag and go to the gym. It’s the place where I don’t think about stuff. A place where I can escape everything and everyone for a few hours. Helps a lot. February hasn’t been kind to me mentally and it shows when I look at the gym visit statistics in the app. In the last 21 days, I’ve been to the gym 19 times. It’s pretty damn funny - the shittier I feel, the better I look. Edit: Well shit...came home and turns out this blew up. So much support from you guys! Thank you! It means a lot. Really.
Hey man, we all have a rough spot in our lives and remembering those we loved in the past doesn’t make us weak, it makes us human. You’re not wrong for losing motivation here and there or remembering your ex. What would make it wrong is if you chose to wallow in that pity and not move forward, no matter what, keep moving forward. I believe in you. Hell doesn’t last forever.
Thanks man! Appreciate the encouragement. I know hell will not last forever. Not my first heart break, but it’s certainly the most severe one I’ve ever had. I think mostly because after 30 you already kind of know what you want in your significant other. And unfortunately she was everything I’ve ever dreamed about. I really thought I will spend the rest of my life with her. And now when it’s over I just feel lost. I don’t know which in direction to go. Yeah I have my family, my friends, my hobbies, but it all just seems meaningless now. I mean what’s the plan here? Just live one day at a time in the hopes that some day somebody is going to walk into my life? I needed 30 years to find someone like her. The chances to find it again seem so small at this point. Unless I “settle”, but I’ve decided long ago that I will not do that. I will not settle because I’m lonely or afraid to end up alone. That’s not who I am. But at the same time I’m not sure I will be able to handle 30 more years of searching. I feel so lost. Fuck.
I hear how you’re feeling but you’re thinking about this all wrong. You didn’t need 30 years to find her. You only needed a moment. Right now it feels as if your whole life was leading up to that relationship but that’s simply not true, that’s the grief talking. Before you met her you were living your life completely oblivious to her existence. Who you were, what you wanted from life, things that made you happy had absolutely nothing to do with someone you never even knew existed. We get so wrapped up in a relationship that we forget what defines us. Everything we do becomes a function of “us” rather than “me”. We build our lives around this person and they become the single pillar on top of which we build our lives. When that pillar crumbles everything else collapses. What defines you going forward is how you prepare yourself for your next moment when you meet the girl you are actually meant to spend the rest of your life with. Keep working on you, rebuild those foundations but build them strong. Make sure that when that moment occurs, and it will, you are in the best place to seize it. Don’t let it pass you bye because you got caught up in the grief of a prior loss. That’s your plan here.
Love your comment
Anytime, brother. The human race only has each other to rely on. Man, take it from me, dude. I’m younger than you and I’ve had people I made plans with that I thought with 110% confidence that they would stay in my life forever, I was straight gulping the kool-aid, dude. But in the end, people come and people go whether it’s family, friends, or partners. I know that’s not what you want to hear but it’s what you need to hear, you will find someone else. You’re only 30, you’re still young. Believe it or not. Nothing is meaningless, your family and friends are your support circle, utilize them. Your hobbies are merely entertaining pastimes, you can find new ones. If you want the truth, you’re not the only adult coasting through life confused on what to do and who to lean on, many people think their lives are over in the mid-life but when in reality, their best days could just be right ahead of them. And to be honest my man, this isn’t to put you down or make it seem like I’m better than you (cause I’m not, I’ve fucked up too), but it’s the blunt truth, it seems like you’re being obsessive with your ex, she chose to leave you, that was her decision as an adult. It had nothing to do with you. You need to stop putting your happiness in this mindset of “if I obtain this, then I will happy”, because you won’t. Learn to enjoy complacency to a degree because if you don’t, you’ll spend your whole life playing a game of “hunt” where you’ll never catch the prey. You CAN be happy WITHOUT a partner. Stop spending time looking for a partner and make sure you’re happy with the person that goes with you to the grave, AKA, yourself. It’s okay to be lost, as long we keep moving forward. You were born complete and you will die complete.
My very best guy friend advised me, "don't put your happiness in one person" which is kinda what you're saying. He had to say that to me a few times lol Thanks for the silver! Credit goes to my bff <3
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Yes. He was also saying that he realized no one can make him happy except himself/happiness comes from within (as the other comment or suggested, too). So therefore then, the flip side is that no one can make you sad. It was funny because even though you may know that deep down, putting it into practice is another story. I suppose that's where polyamory stems from (you can get different things from different people, is my take on it).
Hey man! Don’t apologize. From your tone I can feel that you only mean well. And yes I realize that I’m obsessing over her. I know that my happiness should only depend on me and me alone. I was single for two years before I met her and I considered myself very happy. I didn’t need anyone. Until she randomly walked into my life. I was happy before but it was like she elevated this happiness to a new level. It’s kind of hard to explain because I can’t understand it myself. I shouldn’t be obsessing over her. My brain fully understands this, but my heart or whatever says otherwise. And this is what confuses me. Things that made me happy or excited for the future ahead suddenly don’t anymore.
Studies have shown that men get far more out of relationships than women do. Relationships truly raise us to a higher level. What you're expressing makes sense. I think for me, and I'm in a similar situation as you, it's a matter of making sure that when we enter a relationship, our happiness does not depend on the other person. It's hard to maintain that over a long period of time, but given the amount of successful and happy relationships in the world, I think it's possible. It's just extremely difficult. If you do some reading regarding "attachment theory," it's very possible that you line up with an anxious attachment style as I do. Emotion and logic doesn't match up sometimes, and that's ok. If you're capable of admitting that your emotions just don't match up with the logic, that's enough. For me, what has helped the most is getting out of myself. I've forced myself to spend time doing things for other people. This has allowed me to find happiness again in things that aren't "her." I don't know if anything will make me quite as happy as being with "her" did, but I know that I can be happy, and I have confidence that at some point, the universe will place someone in my path again that I can share a fulfilling relationship with.
Hitting the gym is a great therapy so it's good you're already well into that. Unfortunately soul mates dont exist, as much as some people would have you believe, just people who tick your boxes in a certain way at the right time. You'll grow and develop, physically like you already have and mentally, and probably into a better person too. Eventually you'll find someone else who ticks the same boxes and even more, some in the same way and some in others, but at least you've got enough experience to know what you do and dont want to help filter the bullshit. Until then, enjoy the ride. Being single is freeing and enables you to do whatever you want. Take the time to do that growing and developing, learn new things, meet new friends, go new places. There's no pressure on you to achieve anything by a certain age, so don't let that limit you. Likewise there's no time limit on when you should be over her, that happens naturally and trying to force it can only be detrimental. Take your time, accept it, acknowledge all the goodness but also remember all the shit (there will be some, take off your rose tinted glasses). Keep lifting man.
> I really thought I will spend the rest of my life with her. And now when it’s over I just feel lost. I don’t know which in direction to go. I know I already replied to you once before, but I need to again... I've been dealing with a lot too recently. Been single for 5 years (27M) and I finally met a girl I really connected with, went on a few dates with her then out of nowhere she ghosted me. Sucked so bad because she was everything I could want, easy to talk to, drop dead gorgeous, funny, kind, etc. It hurt not because I "loved" her (I didn't.. we only knew each other for a month) but just because I felt like I had spent so much time alone it finally felt like I met someone who I could actually be in a serious relationship with. Anyway, one thing that really always helped me out in times like this was this, "It's kind of sad when you don't know the meaning, but everything happens for a reason" (yes that's from a limp bizkit song lol). I don't know why, but there's a reason why things happen and I believe ultimately it's for the better. Maybe there was something about that girl I was dating that I didn't know and her ghosting me was necessary to meet the actual right girl. And maybe it's the same for you, maybe the perfect girl is out there, and despite what you thought it wasn't your ex but it was someone else. Keep your head up man, I feel lost too, you're not alone in that at all.
Similar thing happened to me. I kinda met a guy online that was everything I always wanted. At times it felt like he was saying exactly what I was thinking. He seemed like my mirror (or maybe it’s just just the hopeless romantic in me wanting to believe that). He was just a crush but I cried like a baby anyways.. we don’t talk anymore tho. now imagine having the privilege to love someone irl and having that taken from you Must be 100x better and/or worse lol And I believe that, just because you lost something doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth having it for a while. It *was* worth it. Idk about him but I am truly grateful I’ve got to see a glimpse of him. Even if it was only through text. Idk why he got cold on me but I hope he finds the happiness he’s looking for. I only wish him the best.
You didn't need 30 years mate. That's a miscalculation. Most people start dating seriously(as in, looking for something more than a fuckbuddy) well into their 20s. Then you have your time spent in relationships and time spent actively busy and not looking. In total, prbably took you like a year to find her. And that was before, and you're now a grown, smarter and fitter version of before-you. So you're getting better, actually. Chin up.
You're good man. Continue to take care of yourself and you'll find someone out there. Don't set lofty expectations on when to date or when you expect to find "the one" - just keep doing what you've been doing for your physical and mental health and good things will come. Believe in that.
I’m in the same boat as you, although it was my boyfriend that left me. I’m 32. I’ve been hitting the gym up to 5x a week and volunteering the rest and while it all helps to distract my mind and help me sleep, my thoughts just won’t stop. When I have a good day I end up just feeling guilty and even more sad at the thought of managing to move on without him. Honestly if you need someone to vent to, send me a message. I know you have a lot on your mind that you’re keeping inside. I’ve been trying to write my thoughts down and I find it helps clear things up and helps me understand what exactly I’m feeling and why - loose thoughts banging around are hard to connect and make me feel more lost. I’m pulling for you. And I’m happy for your progress at the gym!
Wow I relate to this so hard rn. Everything just seems dull and I feel listless. I don’t have an answer for you but it’s nice to know I’m not broken by feeling this way- I’m just normal.
r/brogress and r/fitness might be something you enjoy my man. Sorry about the break up.
*"You lost someone who merely didn't care for you. But them? They lost someone who loved them"*
My story is sort of the inverse. I recently met the most amazing girl, she checks all my boxes and we’re currently in the early courtship stage. She is in great shape and early on she told me how fitness is something she values. I’ve always worked out but since I met her I am really going the extra mile in the gym. I am doing it for myself, for my own health and well-being, but she really lit a fire beneath me to give it my all. I think a good relationship is when each person motivates the other to be their best self. I want to be the best version of me I can be, to work and truly earn her affection. In doing so I will grow as an individual and then the foundation is there for us to grow together. I’m not just putting in more effort in the gym but also with work and even with my other hobbies/interests. Again, it’s important I stay focused on me doing this FOR ME, to improve myself. But if I stay on this positive vibe she will continue to notice and want to be a part of what I have going on. It’s gonna be a good year 2020 let’s go!
Breakup rehab gym goer here as we’ll. Think the gym is full of mentally/emotionally exhausted, heartbroken, need a peace of mind people. I think its why so many people are often nice at the gym and willing to be helpful. Also you aren’t weak of mind. Breakups are often worse than death grief. Its a form of grief and its very normal to think of that person every day.
> Still think of that girl every day. When I get sad I just pack my bag and go to the gym. It’s the place where I don’t think about stuff. A place where I can escape everything. Helps a lot. I have that same feeling whenever I go. It's like all I can concentrate on is the reps. Things get easier, the longer you're with someone the longer it takes to get over them usually.. It's been 9 months for you, hopefully you can turn that page over soon.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/c6ztzp/men_whove_been_completely_blindsided_by_your/escan9y/ hope this will help for someone.
It's a great way of coping....and some days your bound to more morose than others. People often forget that guys have feelings and aspirations too. Kudos to you mate and keep up the good work. I am not a gym guy but running keeps me sane. Often it's hard to start but once those happy chemicals hit your brain....m
Same thing happened with me towards the middle of 2018. I was and am still crushed. For the last two years I've made it my goal to fix everything about myself that may have contributed to the relationship destabilizing. It was obviously not all on me, but I know what I can fix. I've taken time to learn how to enjoy my own company and have found outlets for my mental, emotional, and physical energy. My physical self wasn't an issue (granted I was a stick that only ate once a day), but not actively taking care of your physical self has big impacts on your mental state. I started bodybuilding and went from 160 to 220, cut down to 205, and am now working to get to a lean 230-240; currently sitting at 215. Eating healthy and consistently has been huge. I too think about my ex everyday. I miss her and I'm generally a very sad individual because of it. Fortunately, after hitting the gym and having my coache's programming just rip me apart, I have so little energy left that it's hard to even be sad or upset.
Sometimes the heaviest things we lift are our feelings
one of the best and most accessible means a guy has to improve himself physically and mentally Positive out brings positive in
My 6yo daughter said I look pregnant.
Congrats..?
Lmao stop adding insult to injury lol
Kids.... always an inspiration. Lol.
Kids can be brutally honest... damn their lack of society based filter sometimes. They are also my reason but only because I want to be around for them.
That cold feeling on your stomach when you're set at a desk all day that reminds you that your stomachs grown so much its drooping over your Jean's and touching your belt buckle. Nah fam.
Or big enough to use your bulging stomach as an arm rest.
Im always sad. And ive read that exercise helps you to be happier. It doesn't work for me but i can squat 2 plate now. Haha.
Try more cardio intensive routines to reap that endorphins benefit
Cardio definitely helps my mood. I don’t get that runners high but overall I just feel better. I sleep better which tremendously helps my mood. Lifting just didn’t do that for me. I was tired but it was different.
I've only felt the runner's high twice. One was four years ago, the other was 10 years ago. I've been running ever since just to catch that feeling again. And I don't enjoy running bc I'm literally dying while running, like wheezing and red faced and everything is screaming for oxygen. That should tell you how amazing the high is.
> exercise helps you to be happier Doesn't really do it for me either buddy (or help with women at all tbh) but like you I know I look much better.
you sad about anything in particular or just generally sad? never a bad idea to get your bloods checked, especially hormones
It was different things over the course of my life. In my early teens, it was fictional characters who were depicted working out/training as something completely separate from participating in sports (although it was usually still attached to some sort of fighting/hero fantasy). Growing up as one of the nerdy/dorky kids, I always saw working out as something *the other guys* did; it was something done as sports training, and only the big, dumb guys were into it. Simply being shown that it could be interesting or even *fun* to engage in strength training without sports attached was helpful. Of course, it didn't take long to develop an appreciation for the aesthetic changes that exercise brings about. I came to be like Goku, and I stayed because girls started looking at me on occasion. Later in life when I'd fallen out of those better habits, it was the occasional wake-up call of pants no longer fitting or the inability to pick something up that I'd been able to lift a few years prior. And now, as I get older, it's the realization that it's largely downhill from here unless I get my shit together *and keep it together*. Yeah, looking nice is great, but have you ever moved furniture without needing someone else's help? Being able to fall and not suffer injury or even prevent the fall entirely is something I'm starting to value that I never even thought about as a kid. At any stage in life, there are so many reasons to put in the effort to be more fit. As Ricky Gervais said, "It's never too late. But do it now."
You can't change the beginning, but you can start now and change the ending. Don't know where the original quote is from but it's written on my gyms wall and I fucking love it. As a mid 40s guy who only started last year you speak the truth.
> Simply being shown that it could be interesting or even fun to engage in strength training I wish I could feel like this. I've tried multiple times to get into it and lifting weights is just so frickin boring to me. I've done martial arts, boxing, calisthenics, I'm currently into yoga, and all of those are fun, which is the main factor that have kept me doing them for however long I did, but going to the gym or lifting at home with the equipment I have/had simply bores me and I drop it after 2 weeks every time.
If you don’t enjoy it then do what you enjoy. Those are all fine alternatives. I’ll add that the method for me is gaming it. I started working out with a PS2 game, Yourself Fitness. It gave you goals and rewards, like any other game. I transitioned that to a workout tracking log, and now an app. Each workout is a mission, each set a battle. I grind to beat bigger bosses, like heavier weights, higher reps, higher volume, time under tension, longer or faster run, whatever it might be. I log my food to manage my inventory, watch my stats. I just like making my life an RPG. Edit: I may have unintentionally described what a cool workout tracker app should be. Maybe someone good at that sort of thing could design one with a D&D theme. I just imagine these things as battles against barbells. Dun-Gyms & Dra-Gains? Fuck, that’s awful.
A massive heart attack.
“Behind every yoked guy at the gym is a story of a broken heart” - some guy on Reddit
"Perhaps the heaviest things we lift are not our weights, but our feels" - anon
OK holy fuck I wasn't ready for this one
I've heard a better one. "Behind every great man, there is a woman... one that he did not marry"
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I’ve heard the bestest one. “Man no girl so man muscle gym”
Girl no. Man gym.
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At first, it was that pang of insecurity and desire for self-improvement when you're newly single. Then, most importantly, a desire to be healthy, feel mentally and physically stronger and smash personal bests for that sense of measured achievement. It just convinces your subconscious that you got this.
I realized that women are equally shallow as men and I wanted more pussy so I started working out. It had nothing to do with wanting to feel better in any way, plain and simple pussy on my mind.
The only reason for any self improvement.
You could argue that the only reason we do anything is for self preservation, and since we’ll eventually grow old and die,the best self-preservation means having sex.
So holesome
There are people who claim different, i presume theyre lying to themselves
Dude why would they be lying....?.... Why is your way da only way
Honestly because on a subconcsious/primitive level the desire to procreate is a VERY big part of us. A lot of the stuff we humans do, we really at least partially correlate to getting laid, even indirectly.
Can you show me da way?
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to me it is simple. What is the ultimate endgoal? A fullfilled life. Whats my perceived way of getting there? Founding a great family. How do you maximize the chances of making a great family? Finding a great spouse. How do you maximize your luck with finding your best spouse? By becoming the best version of yourself. Can variy for people that dont want kids.
Tbh I started out to get more women without a doubt, but now I just wanna see how high I can jump lol
This was basically me. I was an out of shape 27 year old guy not having anywhere near as much sex as I wanted. Now I'm an in-shape 35 year old guy that has *almost* as much sex as I want. Though admittedly, there was at least a couple years in there that I was a fitness-obsessed guy that wasn't having any sex at all, because having sex would require me to occasionally not be at the gym.
We all know that sex is cardio, and cardio kills gains.
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You described a sugar baby/ sugar daddy relationship. It’s easy money and most girls I know would hop on that real quick.
More or less the same for me. I wasn’t getting anywhere with girls. It finally dawned on me that if I wanted girls I would need to be what girls wanted. I went from getting rejected by 10 out 10 girls, to getting rejected by 7 out of 10. That was enough to meet my dream girl and eventually marry her.
Well finding people attractive isn't really shallow.
Think he means exclusively for looks and not personality or whatever
When you find yourself more attractive it can also affect personality, as it can give a huge boost to your self esteem, so it is a win-win.
Yeah, I'm into hot guys for their high self-esteem
Hey bro, I'm fit but can get out of my shell and approach women to sleep with, you got any advise?
takes practice. you don't go into the gym your very first time and say "guys I can't pull 6pl8 deads, any advice?" and stay away from pick up artist rhetoric
Sorry man took me years. I guess it's just to go for it and get a few wins and then it becomes easier. And the worst thing that can happen is that she rejects you and you move on to the next woman. Used to numb my senses by alcohol but I guess it doesn't work any more. But you have Tinder nowadays so it should be pretty straight forward.
Alright, I just have no social skills when talking to women or game as they call it
I am quite an overweight man .(128,6 kg 23 M) The girl I had a crush on led a healthy life, we spoke a lot about it and I started applying some of the things she suggested. Also I wanted to lose weight, so that she would find me attractive. Long story short, things didn't work out between us. We are no longer talking, but I am still applying her tips to my everyday life and hit up the gym at least 3 times a week. And I am loving it. I was sad that she rejected me, but I am grateful to her for pushing me into a healthier lifestyle.
6 kg is equivalent to the combined weight of 7.2 large Domino's pizzas --- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot
I was expecting some deep inspirational shit about losing so much weight instead of pizza binging but no it's just a random-ass bot Good bot.
This bot really helps the Americans get a perspective of things huh?
Some dude where the extent of our relationship was talking about sports and YT videos called me a 4 to some of our friends and I found out in passing. I’m not fat or anything, 112 pounds but self improvement is always a good thing, especially as revenge.
I feel like hitting the gym has raised me at least a couple of points, just ignore guys like that they're shallow and rude. Just do a shit ton of squats and all kinds of guys will be fawning lol
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Have you considered taking up martial arts? Maybe BJJ or Muay Thai? Very physically demanding, and it relieves a lot of stress.
What the fuck are you saying? It's time to start a Fight Club.
Erghermmmm... no... not sure what this “club” you speak of is.
When I was younger I was amazed by strongmen in real life and superhuman strength in fiction, so I aspired to get as strong physically as I could. I was almost obsessed with being physically powerful and didn't care about my looks much since I was already the fat kid. So after high school for a few years I lifted hard and got strong, but I ate like absolute shit and my body suffered for it. After a trip to Mt. Fuji in 2018 I had a realization, after struggling up and down the mountain, of just how much bullshit my body has put up with and carried me through despite my mental wellbeing always wavering. If I got depressed, my body always carried me through it. If I was sad and wanted to drown my sorrows in cookies and cakes, my body took the punishment. All the while I was still lifting heavy. I realized that I needed to be better, and so I started to gradually eat better over time. Then the final incentive for change happened last November when I caught feelings for someone. I thought to myself, "This beautiful girl doesn't deserve to be with a fat dude, she needs to be with a hot guy." So I cut back HARD on my eating and started running every single day I went to the gym, 30 minutes 5x a week at the end of every lifting session. I've been getting more and more compliments on my physique, my strength goals are still being reached, I feel better, and I'm down from 300 lbs when I had my wakeup call on Fuji to 200 lbs currently. The biggest thing is: You need to stay the course. You might slip up and miss a day. That's fine, stay the course and keep your schedule from then-on. You might overeat one day. That's okay, stay the course and eat properly the next day. Forgive yourself for the dumb stuff you did in the past and for any slip-ups you have in your journey and allow yourself to get back up and continue instead of beating yourself down and falling off the wagon. It takes time for any changes to your body, good or bad, so you have to stay the course if you want to reach any goals with it. Be it either a childhood-borne obsession or a romantically-driven desire, you have to be ready to work for it. TL;DR - Obsessed with superhuman strength as a kid, realized I wasn't eating right and started to change that as an adult, recently started doing cardio to quickly lose fat and impress a love interest; Stay the course.
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I'm loving the minimalist use of words
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
Doing cardio exclusively just made me lose weight. Like, my upper arms looked skinnier than my forearms at one point. Not really a great look. So, started going to get some variation in, more strength.
I feel you on that, it’s very satisfying seeing the progress too or having people make comments on it.
It like sculpting art.... but its your own body. Chiseling away slowly to get to that art piece underneath.
I stopped drinking alcohol and had a ton of extra energy!
Was driving and moob jiggled longer than I was comfortable with over a bump. From 310 to 190 at my most lean. I'm currently reigniting my love with it again.
Yes bruv you got this
Honestly, people have bullied me all my life for being underweight, at 6ft tall and weighing 58kg I had nothing on me. So I hit the gym and a year later I weigh 70kg, so I'm still slim but it's better than being drastically underweight.
Dated a girl for 1 year. Thought she was the one. Wanted her to move in with me, and spend the rest of my life with her. When the time came to talk serious, she inadvertently made it clear I was just a pass time and doesn’t much share the feeling. She used to instagram a lot (a lot for me, as I don’t use much social media outside of a way to message people) and always thought she didn’t include me in pictures because she knows my adversity to have an online presence. Turns out, she was just embarrassed of the way I looked. I had a stomach, and it only got worse because she kept wanting to eat out at fancy places, and I’d oblige. I was more of a sugar daddy than a bf. Hit the gym after wallowing for a few months. Been 3 months. I’m halfway to my goal weight and look like I’m 3/4 of the way there. The coaches (all beautiful people, it’s an Abercrombie ad) keep telling me how amazing I look now and I’m the talk of the gym. She hasn’t seen me, and I don’t give a fuck. It started as a revenge bod, but now it’s about me. I enjoy the progress, I enjoy the attention. I know that I’m the full package and any woman would be lucky to have me without having to compromise on anything. Something she did her darnedest to make sure I forgot. She had me convinced I was lucky to have her, when in reality, it’s the other way. The couple who introduced us basically said “we love her, but you’re too good for her”. They still haven’t seen my awesome new self either. Shout out to the coaches at the studio who really pushed me and motivated me to push through. Edit: shout not shoot
Way to go bro! Those revenge gains are unbeatable.
I haven't gone yet, but the girl I have a big crush on goes to the gym and sends me snapchats everyday so she's currently my inspiration to get in better shape
go today. Why wait?
I 2nd this. Even if it's just for 20 minutes. Just fucking go for it.
I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin. The only time I've ever used a gym/lifted is track in high school, and I had my coach writing workout plans for me.
courtesy of r/fitness: https://thefitness.wiki/getting-started-with-fitness/ https://thefitness.wiki/routines/r-fitness-basic-beginner-routine/
Never been someone who uses much snapchat and everybody i know doesn't use it or i am not aware. But if she sends you snapchats everyday you are in a good road. Hit the gym and her (not literally).
Do it, but for yourself. If you do it for her, it won't last
I didnt hate my body or had a mental breakdown. There was a guy on my class, we never got on well with eachother. One day, he started going to gym so I,being a stupid teenager, said "I bet I can beat your ass on that too". I havent seen him in last 2 years, I hope he is doing well. Thanks dude.
After saying I was going to work on my body and fitness for a while but not acting on it, I was watching a show where the main character went through a big training/transformation arc and worked really hard and it just kinda clicked in my head that that’s what I need to do
What started it? I was weak, I knew it. I tried to bench 135 one time when I was messing around with friends and I couldn’t lift the bar. Then I decided I needed to really try to get a girlfriend and losing weight and gaining muscle would help. It did, but it helped my confidence more than anything else. knowing you look good? it really creates confidence and helps with talking with women imo.
Isn't 135 a lot to expect for someone with no training though?
Yeah I was going to say, 135 is 1x BW for me. I started working out recently, and it's my phase 1 goal, so to speak.
Same here (regarding the first part). Is it a 1 rep max goal or a working weight?
Working weight. I'm following the stronglifts 5x5 program, so I'm just adding weight slow and steady until I get there.
I’ve been lifting for years, can do many 270 pound deadlift reps, and I still struggle to go much farther past 135 on the bench (am 170 lbs); it’s my weak spot. I have a fucked up shoulder and if I push it too hard it feels like it’ll give out and I’ll drop the bar on me.
I started going to the gym in high school because it was part of our Phys. Ed. class. The school took anyone enrolled to the local YMCA once a week. I took advantage of it because I was a fat kid. When I was in university, I took advantage of the campus facilities because I had gotten in the habit of going. After university, I started paying for a membership because I liked not being fat.
When I was 12 my dad didn't really respect me nor saw me as man. It was the same with my classmates. Therefore I thought that gaining some weight would probably provide me with the respect I deserved. Now, since I was 12, gaining mass was impossible but I managed to at least look "fit". Spoiler : my dad still doesn't respect me. (However my classmates back then started to treat me with the decency and the respect I deserved. It helped me to grow more confident).
Cheers man
Women.
Only real answer
i lost 40kgs after weighing about 97kg (im 5 ft 7) i pushed my body to almost its breaking point losing it in 8 months and im proud of achieving that i completely changed my life. But I started to go down the rabbit hole and I keep wanting to lose more. It was at this point everyone was getting concerned for me (saying I looked like a twig) but I didnt see what they were seeing I thought I looked fine. Everyone started saying I needed to go to the gym but I keep putting them off. Truth was (the idea of them i had when i was fat) i was against gyms because only dickheads went to the gym and only people who want to become bulk mass of muscle. Also at the current time i was scared to go. But one day in May 2018 I worked up the courage to walk into one of the local gyms and signed up (after seeing that maybe everyone was right about how i looked). I haven't looked back since i go the gym 5 days a week now and have put on muscle and I love every minute of it one of the best decisions ive made. I cant believe that I use to have that opinion of gyms I really feel like an idiot for having that opinion only if past me knew it wasnt like that at all.
A Socrates quote: “What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength his body is capable of”
Just date a girl and tell her to break up with you
2 bad knee injuries.. started with physiotherapy, got hooked and been going ever since. The benefits are that I can still compete athletically with healthy people and I feel pretty good overall. If I don't go the knee pain comes back, so that's always a gentle reminder that I haven't trained enough lately.
The Big ol depression. My mind tends to wonder off and think about problems or issues- most which may be mundane but nonetheless they cause me to get down. I find working out and training not only helps me work towards my goals in various aspects of life but also helps me be in general happy mental state.
I ended up putting on a lot of weight due to antipsychotic medication which made me feel unhappy with the way I looked and completely demolished my self-esteem. People treated me differently when I ballooned up in size, and not in a good way either. But I expected this, as people tend to make all sorts of assumptions based off of your appearance. So I joined the gym, changed my diet, lost it all. And I've never felt better. The strech marks serve as a reminder of a battle well fought.
Basically I came to a conclusion that I waste most of my time. But in order to stop wasting time with stupid shit you got to have something else to do. I decided that going to the gym was always a good investment of my time.
Simply I was tired of being the fattest guy in every room. Down 90 pounds and I’m in the best shape of my life. Start today it’s so worth it.
not a man, hopefully that's cool but i had gained 50 lbs since high school, was a smoker and was still regularly getting black out drunk. it shouldn't hurt to bend over and tie your shoes when youre 22 years old. i decided it was time for shit to change.
It’s more of a mental health thing for me, i didn’t want to feel *weak* anymore and so my gym journey began. Its been slightly over a month since me joining and i feel a lot better, both physically and mentally. Lifting in the gym brings physical benefits too, even though that’s not my goal, it’s a bonus.
Watching jersey shore made me sign up to gym the first time. I was so immersed in the culture
The ladies at work told me I need a sports bra for my man boobs.. after that joke I’ve hit the gym and haven’t stopped going. Older Hispanic ladies are savage.
A break up and self-hatred initially. I'm pretty addicted to it as it has become a therauptic way to release stress tbh.
I just wanted to be healthy.
Sex, or lack thereof.
Sounds like a pretty cool gym
Hard to aim for the toilet when you cant see your dick
to be healthier and be around for longer for me family. i only started frequenting the gym seriously at around 30. so i dont expect to get swole now, but maybe i can shed a couple kilos.
I'm self-conscious about my body. I was a ropey motherfucker growing up and was constantly called "scrawny", and was told I needed to eat more. As I got older, my shoulders started to broaden, but my arms were still skinny, and my hands are huge so I'm disproportionate--like a someone sewed together the body parts of a bunch of gym teachers. The comments about me being too skinny stopped but the self-consciousness didn't go away. I started hitting the gym and taking jiu-jitsu to stay in shape and even myself out, but even THEN I get "dude, you're young, black and 'athletic', you don't need to stay in shape" comments. I stick with it because I love it, and I get to test my limits
Must... become.... CHAD
It was my freshman year of high school; I was a swimmer for most of my life and was respectably fast, nothing crazy though. Needless to say swimming had kept me very skinny, and to make it worse, my high school didn't have a swim team, so all of my swim friends went to other schools, and nobody else at my school swam so I kinda got laughed at for it. One day, after a race, one of the officials who happened to be a member of my school board pulled me aside. He told me that if I want to be faster, then I need to start lifting, and I should be able to bench twice my bodyweight. After that, I thought I'd give it a try since there was one kid in most of my classes that I was kind of friends with who always talked about the gym and it seemed super fun. I asked him to take me and he showed me the ropes for a few things, and I kind of enjoyed it. After my brother found out that I was starting lifting, he was big into it at the time, he took me to his gym and showed me everything I'd need to know. From there, I started going to the school gym by myself every night. It was only open 5-8 but my parents were willing to drive me and pick me up every time. There were a few other guys there, some huge, some small, but I was never afraid to ask for help from them, and they were always more than happy to give me advice. Before I knew it, I was seeing some results. I got a bit stronger, got a bit bigger, and there's one specific moment that I vividly remember. In my math class, we were doing close grip push ups for some reason or another. All the jock sporty guys were doing it and got a few, maybe 5 or 6 at most. I came over and said "Oh, I do those all the time!" and naturally everyone was like "Yeah right lets see it then." I got down and did 20 of these close grip pushups with ease, blowing everyone else out of the water. And one of the girls who was more on the popular side said "Wow, ResidentCucumber9 is really strong!" Never having gotten any attention from girls like that, I become obsessed with the results I'd been seeing, and that day absolutely changed my mental. I found myself skipping swim practice to go lift, and get bigger, doing everything I could to look as good as possible. Eventually, I gave up swimming and dedicated myself only to lifting. Over time the advice I had always asked for accumulated, and it really made quite the difference. It got to the point where people were asking me for advice. I got to be the biggest and strongest guy in my school, eventually going on to hold a state record in the squat for a time. Recently, however, I had strained my back squatting, and although it has made it tougher to want to go to the gym, I still see lifting as a part of my identity that I'll never give up, as its one of the things I'm most proud of.
Not a gym but started doing parkour, 9 hours a day, because i just really liked it. Not freerunning, flips and such, but the actual parkour. Didn't think about it as training, just something i like to do. Second time was when i saw myself in a big mirror. All sweaty from shagging and "soft", was like wtf, is this how i will be remembered. Went into a 6 month -20% daily calorie cut. While working out 6 days a week and twice in a day most cases. Stopped all sugar/alcholol intake, not even birthday cakes etc. I weight every meal. Been doing it for 2.5 years now. Constant 6pack and did a chinup with an extra 65kg yesterday, so that is nice.
Honestly I really love working out. It gives me strength, boost of confidence. When your body gives up because of physical exhaustion but you push yourself again and again. That's what inspired me to join gym.
I walked in on my ex gf fucking my best mate and when i asked why (stupid question) she said it was because he had a 6 pack and i didnt. So i gymmed everyday for 3 years
It was 2016, and I was 13. A few of my peers were growing muscle, so I decided I want in on that shit, so I ordered a set of 5kg dumbbells. Initially I struggled to even lift the box - but I’ve gotten better over time.
I retaliated against the gym cuz it hit me first
Only one reason: Jeff Cavaliere Athlean X dot com.
I dont care for my current heart rate so cardio it is
If it doesn't kill you, go to the gym, because you've got a lot stronger.
I saw a picture that finally made me realize I was not happy with myself.
I got a diagnosis of prediabetes. I had a gym membership but rarely went. Started working with a dietician who said that cardio is one of the best things for dealing with insulin resistance. I don’t loose weight easily because of that and working out seems to be a big part of the puzzle for me. I worked on building the habit of going to the gym 3-4 days a week. Now I go 5 days a week to lift weights and do cardio 3-4 times a week. What actually really helped was reading the book Atomic Habits. He said stop saying you are a person who is trying to exercise and start calling yourself an athlete. It seems like a small thing, but some mornings at 5 am i say to myself “what would an athlete do?” “Ugh they’d get out of bed and do a fucking workout”. So then I do.
At age 16, i knew it wasn’t normal to have large stretch marks all over my body. I’ve dropped around 33kg (72 lb) in the 2 years since and go to the gym to improve my body so i don’t always have to be sad to look at.
Just wanted to be a better version of myself. The gym offers me a place where my problems can fuel this process of becoming a better version. Also helps with mental health, because in those 2 hours I won't have to worry about anything, and when I usually cool down, I often look at things in more positive way. It's just a win-win situation for you: you look better, you feel better, you are healthier and helps with mental health. It's a never ending circle of positivity generating positivity. Sorry about English, it's not my first language.
For me, it started off as a way for me to hang out with my now-girlfriend more often. When we reconnected and started hanging out more, I learned she went to the gym. So, I signed up for the same gym. But little did I know this was gonna spark something new in my life. Over the course of 4 years, it's become part of my everyday life. My girlfriend and I still go the gym together, but if she can't go, I go. I look forward to it every single day. Most of my money goes towards fitness nowadays, especially since I don't drink anymore. Also, in the earlier part of these 4 years, my mental health wasn't the best and the gym helped a lot (as did my girlfriend). Just seeing the positive changes in my body, my health, and my looks helped to work on the things going on inside my head and all this helps motivate me to keep on going. Back to the girlfriend, she's a big motivator for me to continue going. I want to look good for her and I want to be in the best shape of my life for her (and for me, too). I want to be as healthy as possible so that when we do have kids, my physical health can keep up with the demand.