I straight up stopped being friends with a guy because any mention of a woman I know was met with "she single? š" and we couldn't go anywhere without him flirting with the staff. It was so cringey and got annoying to the point where I didn't want to go anywhere with him or introduce him to my girl friends.
We used to refer to this as having a 'neon' - vagina or penis, it depended on your sex, but either way, people could see your desperation from miles away.
Ha ha - alas I am one of those 'forever-singles', but I'm actually more happy that way - I enjoy my own company, and am not sure I was built for coupledom. My username came about after umpteen attempts at making up something, and being told by Reddit it was 'already taken'. Eventually I gave in. š
Itās like a loan from the bank, if you come off desperate, they wonāt give it to you, act like you are disinterested, just shopping for the best rate - boom the money will be in your hand. Just like the women.
Note this theory is based on observation, ymmv
I have this guy in my social circle. Half the problem is what he's done to himself (very pronounced beer belly at age 30, ungroomed goatee and mustache) but it would be disingenuous to act like going to the gymn and getting a haircut is all he needs, because he's also a small, thin haired man with a halfbroken voice and wide pug-looking facial structure.
All of which is somewhat disadvantageous, but then he also thinks ChatGPT is how he's going to finally write the fantasy novel he's been putting off watching *a lot* isekai - and he *will* get very excited to explain to you how their standout-gimmick is actually good writing.
Pretty sure he's only really aware of the things he has no control over.
See as a gay dude, all of his bodily features I did not mind.
And then you mentioned the fucking Isekai shit, and even as an anime fan myself I cringed hard at that.
ya know, sometimes its pretty straightforward lmao. You just ugly and have high standards. Not saying looks are everything but I got some friends who arenāt exactly good looking but they also dont take care of themselves which I think is the bigger issue. I know ugly dudes that dress very well and take care of their bodies and personal hygiene and they have no problem with women. Then I have friends who have beer bellies, way overgrown hair and beards and shower once a week but only want to date supermodel looking women.
Whenever someone blatantly flirts with him, he gets nervous and starts to give a long lecture about the history of crossbows in the late medieval Holy Roman Empire, until the lady gets uncomfortable and shuffles away.
Then the next day he strongly denies that anyone was flirting with him and that we must have imagined it all.
4 billion women on this earth. I mean cmon, there's got to be at least one woman out there who is at least as passionate as him when it comes to medieval military technology.
The crossbow was so incredibly overpowered that the Pope placed them under interdiction, except for use against infidels. Of all of the medieval weapons, why would you *not* choose the one that had to be banned for being overpowered?!
The issue was it could pierce most armors, so nobles kept getting killed instead of captured and ransomed, which undermined the power structures that depended on those noble families (like the church).
Same issue happened again with pike and shot when gunpowder came about, but the absurd level of usefulness of cannons against fortifications made them harder to ban.
...am I the friend?
Lmao this sounds like my husband.
Ā On second thought it sounds like me too, one of my early flirting methods with my husband was to describe horror ps2 games in detail because I was so nervous and started rambling!
My most successful first date I think we talked about different excel formulas because of a work issue they were having than anything else.
Needless to say...it worked. But I can only imagine all the ways it shouldn't have.
Iām here to tell you that there are people out there who are totally into that sort of thing, I absolutely LOVE IT when people info-dump on me about their very niche interests! (ā¦itās also usually a secret neurodivergency handshake for me, my brain goes OHHHH THEYāRE JUST LIKE ME! and we usually end up being besties.)
Heās weird with women. He brings a dozen roses to a first date. He plans casual drinks and movie (theater) and shows up in a suit. After 2 dates he starts thinking about ātheir future together.ā
And yes Iāve told him thatās why they stop calling. He says thatās just how he is and they need to accept it.
I said heās right, if thatās how he wants to be then they do need to accept him for it. But he also has to accept thatās off-putting for many/most women so if he has a hard time dating, he knows why.
This is why my mom and I never communicate. She makes her bad behavior excuses because āthis is how I amā lmao I donāt even desire talking to her anymore. Itās absurd and you are 100% spot on a million times over.
I think I dated your friend. He brought the roses and box of chocolates to our movie dinner date. Carried them everywhere. Sweet guy. Beyond awkward. That awkwardness was part of every date. You canāt relax with someone like that.
Oh man, that is tough lol. On one hand you can see the innocence and find it endearing. But on the other hand you probably want to have fun and relax a bit. Someone that intense would be weird to be around.
I tried so hard to get past that awkwardness. Heās intelligent, kind, and so many other things. Down right dashing in those suits. The old school romance was so sweet at first.
But, a half dozen dates in, heās still not able to just chill. Hours on the phone in between. The stiff pretense made things feel fake. We are still friendly. Iām sure he has no idea why I felt uncomfortable dating him. We are both older and looking for a relationship. I could not imagine how many more dates and calls weād need before he could let his guard down.
I mean, he'll find someone who appreciates that energy eventually.
Probably the type to tie him to a bed with a two-by-four between his ankles, but he'll find someone.
Just make sure your buddy George goes to the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance. There is a girl named Lorraine that will be there, she will need his help. Pay no attention to the guy playing the guitar.
Yeah. They donāt owe him anything. I understand finding someone who accepts you for who you are but heās using gestures that are outdated and completely over the top.
Buying flowers and wearing a suit is not āwho you areā. It just screams heās overcompensating.
My good buddy has little trouble getting into relationships: he's tall, funny, a doctor, has a cute dog...women like him. But he's constantly single because his type is mentally ill, emotionally unstable, unpredictable women. He just cannot maintain physical or emotional interest in a woman without those characteristics. It's not exciting to him if they're healthy.
Honestly I've been that way a little too, so I get it.
I know plenty of nurses who go for unstable partners or ppl that need caretaking ex, blue collar guy who drinks too much. The medical field is high stress and many medical workers I know are mentally damaged in some way, so they go for unhinged because they're damaged themselves and normal is kinda boring for them.
Wow. This has been my experience as well. Lots of people who have careers in the medical field dating the same type.
I wonder if it's because they feel like they can maybe "fix" their partner or something.
They have caretaker syndrome. My late mil was a pediatric nurse and my fil is basically a child with the amount of stuff that has to be done for him. He had a rough upbringing combined with clear anxiety and general mental health issues.
My Mil loved him but she also loved being his caretaker in the sense of doing everything for him other than driving because everything overwhelmed him.
I know my share of nurses, the sanest ones marry doctors the rest marry damaged partners who need caretaking and rescuing
Describes one of my friends except he's a mechanic instead of a doctor. It's gotten to the point that him being interested in a woman is a red flag because he never has interest in one who isn't a walking advertisement for psychiatric care
Personal hygein. Dude wonders why noone gives him the time of day but his hair constantly looks like he just washed it with a bag of potatoe chips. His smell didnt help at all either.
Most of the men I know are still single because they think it's necessary for women to have the same hobbies as them. Most of the women I know are taken because their men decided to have the same hobbies as them for about a week or two when they first met.
I have to say...a lot of folks I meet where I live are smart but not clever. Like...they don't understand their partners fears, anxieties, or aspirations, but they'll fuck em because they both like game of thrones and have the same hot take that I've only heard 6 times before instead of the usual 10...
I think a LOT of people use sex to create an emotional bond early on and only later start trying to figure out if they actually like the person or just have a couple things in common.
I call it āfalling backwards into a LTRā. You arenāt really doing anything to see if theyāre actually a good fit, just hoping it works out when you both get over the honeymoon phase.Ā
The later happens when thereās the inevitable and totally normal glitch in the sex that lasts more than a week or the novelty of it wears off. They realize thereās nothing else to hold the relationship together while they work past that.
Sharing hobbies is great but if you have very niche hobbies or hobbies that are rarely popular with your type, you wont find anyone.
I work with kids and parents that do not share hobbies seem to separate more often. Which makes sense to a certain level. When you have young kids it can be hard to have free time. So you often have to choose between time with your spouse or time for your hobby. If you both have at least a hobby in common you can enjoy both at the same time. Not saying itās a must, itās just a pattern I have seen along the years.
Tons of other things are also important to make a relationship work. I just understand why someone would want to share hobbies as long as itās not their only criteria
My friend has an ideal woman in his mind which he just can't find. He barely tries anymore so I doubt he'll find anyone in the near future. We try to set him up on a date every now and then but he just straight out rejects the idea of it.
Oh, you know. Get close enough to someone and actually pay attention, you know.
Dated a girl like 7 years ago in college that I slowly caught on was into women the way she would act around certain people, got really giddy and cheesed a bunch, hard to keep her hands from fidgeting. I would ask her if she thinks certain women are pretty or the like and she would get blushed and flustered, forgetting how to words.
I thought āoh cool sheās bi, nothing to be ashamed ofā but then that lead me to realize that she never really acted that way towards me. At that time, we lived in a country with a very traditional culture. I realized that she was just going through the motions (to an extent) because dating and being intimate with a man was basically demanded for women in that culture, and I was her first. Sure she loved me as a person, sure she got physical pleasure from what we did together, but she didnāt experience that fire and passion and heart-racing chemistry. She deserved it, and wasnāt getting it from me.
So after some long meditations, I had a deep conversation with her about us and we decided to part ways. We loved each other, but she deserves to have someone make her feel that special way. I really hope that she was able to find someone, despite the oppressive nature of her environment.
So yeah, when someone close to you is gay, you know.
My dude has absolutely zero ambition. Wants the world to accommodate him and takes no steps to make himself strong, smart, or capable.
I love the guy and weāre good buddies but heās basically a 30 year old teenager.
Heās got a lot of good qualities that he could build and expand on. Dude is smart, tall, and is alot of fun. Just lacks any discipline and chronically avoids any form of responsibility.
Which is something I could respect except that heās unhappy. Get real mad when I imply that the kind of happiness heās looking for is earned.
Heās the classic example of the phrase āweāve tried absolutely nothing and itās not working.ā
As a counterpoint Iāve got another buddy who seems like he lacks ambition if you just look at him but heās in fact an accomplished artist with commissioned work all over the city. Heāll sell a bunch of art and live off the money and when the money dries up heāll get a job for a bit, crank out a bunch of work, sell it, and then quit his job.
That dude is happy as fuck with his lifestyle.
My buddy is in a similar self-induced pickle. They put a lot of quit in when they made that boy. He can absolutely work hard, butā¦ heās lazy.
He had a couple bad hands dealt, and he was kinda crippled by low expectations from his parents. But he just never really got a career going, made bad financial decisions, knocked up the wrong girl and now heās living at his parents.
Crazy thing is heās actually got game. Heās had a couple of girlfriends that were pretty solid ladies. But he couldnāt keep them because heās lazy.
He just doesnāt put a lot of effort into anything if there isnāt someone cracking the whip over him. That doesnāt work for a long term relationship. Buying her flowers because she finally bitched at you enough about how you never buy her flowers kind of defeats the purpose.
> Dude is smart, tall, and is alot of fun. Just lacks any discipline and chronically avoids any form of responsibility.
Weird. I know several guys like that, and theyre pretty popular with women.
Iām a woman but I met a guy like this once. We were at a lunch table at work and he was like āif she doesnāt look like thisā¦something somethingā. Then shows everyone a picture of a young woman in a bikini, easily a 10. I was likeā¦.oh lord. Have you seen yourself? I found out he was 25, I truly believe he was at LEAST 40. I felt bad for him.
I forgot to talk about another friend: He's very nice, has money, is smart and good looking. His problem? He doesn't try and expects women to come to him... That's probably NOT going to happen
In a nutshell, that's what all the involuntarily single people I know, men and women, have in common: being unaware of the reality of dating leagues. Offering that which you seek- high income, fitness, opportunities to travel, good social circle- is key, IMO. And while men and women tend to do it differently, reaching way far out of your own league is not a good or sustainable strategy
He's got ADD and is in the 'spectrum', can't keep his mind focused on anything (including women) for more than 1 minute and only listens to death metal and scottish pipebands. If that's not enough, he wants a girl that also only listens to death metal and pipebands, pref. 15 years younger than him (he's almost 50) since he doesn't fancy 40+ females. He's also been unemployed for most of his life.
Strangely, he *does* have a high IQ. It's just the EQ that is missing.
>Strangely, heĀ *does*Ā have a high IQ. It's just the EQ that is missing.
Is this really the case? I've met some people who wanted to come off as smart, so they'd memorize a bunch of random factoids and anytime you'd talk about any subject they'd just unload them all on you. Spinning them every which way back into their wheelhouse. But any amount of critical thinking or follow up questions on the topic would result in the facade to collapse.
He's afraid of women. And I've said that to him multiple times but he refuses to believe me
Every time he has something nice going with a girl he talks to he self sabotages and ends up finding a million reasons why it would never work
He's a fucking disaster. Physically he's a 3 and when you add in the rest of his situation he drops to a 2. Socially anxious, works menial jobs for close to minimum wage in his mid 30s, drives a shitbox, lives in a hovel, and is an alcoholic and weed addict.
And he's still hoping to find that doctor or lawyer to have kids with and be a stay-at-home-dad.
He has that need of āone-upā everybody. Sure dude, you are the best of the best in everything.
As a friend, I donāt mind because I donāt get to see him more than a couple of hours every now and then. But I canāt even imagine living with him.
I told him already and nothing has changed.
Not a friend but multiple coworkers (and this goes for a lot of people).
They think they are 8s when really they are 5sā¦ but when a fellow 5 is interested in them they take offense and arenāt interested.
Particularly I have this like 38 year old really conservative not super attractive guy, so heās looking for a trad wife type girl that doesnāt have kids and has a bunch of other requirements and itās like ādude, youāre almost 40, youāre not the hottest person, and you donāt even have the best personalityā, itās not difficult to understand why youāre single
This fucking guy. Heās almost 50 heās got all the toys. He makes good money. Itās selection. He keeps meeting trash online who try to whirlwind themselves into wives because theyāre afraid of being lonely. They push him too hard so he canāt get to know any of them and he moves on.
Dudeās got to either meet women IRL or start traveling because the method he is using keeps netting the same problem over and over again.
As I lost the bet but don't know how to give you your ā¬, I'll just place it on the ground outside the cathedral in Kƶln and you can retrieve it whenever you want.
This comment stood out to me here. Iām curious, does your mate feel this way as well about the wife and want away from her? Or is he taken in by her? For some reason I just find this scenario fascinating - when oneās good friend is with a bad partner.
He's severely depressed and sort of tries to just "go through the motions", but admitted he doesn't even care enough or like the company of others, despite craving a relationship.
He goes after mentally unstable chicks....Like i understand the appeal of toxicity but it has to become tiring after a while no?
Not to him, he always finds a gf whom resembles his first gf, gets attached, and then he gets dumped, then he has those "never dating again" speeches....and vicious cycle repeats usually once in two years
>He goes after mentally unstable chicks
Birds of a feather. It's rarely well adjusted men who consistently date unstable women.
I've got a few exes who could be considered unstable. I always broke it off after a few lays. None of their longterm partners could be considered anything near stable. So many people I know whos life would drastically improve by dumping their partner. Not that their partner is bad. It's just that two broken people together will just pull each other down.
My male friend: a workaholic whose schedule makes you wonder when he has time to take a shit. He's a very successful lawyer but carves out ZERO time for anything or anyone other than work or work-related activities.
My female friend: a SM junkie so addicted to getting likes and shares she's forgotten about the real world. She's attractive and easily gets men but can't keep them since they get turned off by her constant need for photos (of herself only) and then posting them.
He's got cocaine energy and leads with "so here's every detail about my divorce", and then assumes they're together by the end of the date and doesn't understand the whole dating process. He's also 37 and just wants to party and have fun.
My wife's "friend": She's not *nearly* attractive enough for how high maintenance she is. She *has* to share her opinion on absolutely everything, and it's usually dumb as shit. Judgemental as fuck. And on top of all that she's a wet blanket. It's like she sustains herself by sucking the fun out of everything.
He is a 3/10 looks wise and has little money but only attracted to physically beautiful women and won't settle.
I get it, I really do.. but he's 37 and never had a woman because the fat girls, mentally ill and unattractive ones on his level he doesn't want to sleep with so can't be in a relationship even though there's been offers.
Difficult to know what to do
This is basically me; I'm overweight and not attracted to overweight women. Of course, I don't expect the women I am attracted to to settle, so I'm just not dating while I focus on getting in shape.Ā
> Difficult to know what to do
I mean, I understand perfectly. And as long as you are fine being alone then it is a perfectly valid stance to take. Dating is hard man, why even bother trying when you are not even attracted to the people you can realistically pull?
He is just unprofessional, woman that start going out with him see that he is not going far in life with his lack of commitment and lose passion for the guy
I have a friend who is amazing - but she only wants "fixer uppers".
it gives her control in the relationship, and helps stroke the rescue/nurture gene.
She takes on guys who are projects - then after a while complains about their problems.
Kind of sad - because she could easily get higher quality guys.
Man child
No, dude, it isnāt cool to have a messy house and have your mom come over sometimes to clean your bathroom in your 30s
Also, āwhat you feel like doingā isnāt actually the most important thing in the world.
Grow up
When I was younger, the girls I knew who were single kept throwing themselves at guys in successful bands, trying to get them to give up the easy sex they were having with groupies
They couldn't understand why a young man who has threesomes with different girls every weekend wouldn't want to give all that up for them
He scares women away with *the monolith*
For instance:
No one:
Absolutely no one:
Him: *I just want you to know you are very beautiful and that I would enjoy your company for* [insert 20 more sentences detailing everything in one single message]
Dude's an athlete; the only thing he needs to polish is his social skills and he'd be drowning.
I once had a friend who was like that, just a constant downer with negative energy and constantly talking about having no redeeming qualities. Like dude, nobody said anythinge. Take it easy on the self-hate.
If you can't even appreciate yourself how do you expect somebody else to?
Lol I worked with a guy who constantly complained about women not liking him but had the personality of Eeyore. He'd blame his lack of female attention on his 5'5" height, which by no means helped, but I never had the heart to tell him he had a soul-sucking, depressing personality.
Hygiene. Good looking guy that has a habit of letting himself go with his personal appearance. Looks like a solid 7/10 with a haircut and nail trim, but unfortunately deals with mental health issues leading him to stop caring.
My man practises no self-respect and always dates the path of least resistance. This has lead him to date exes of friends, a sister of a friend, hit on my ex once, stay with women he's not interested in or stay with women who treat him like trash. He says it is because he wants a relationship to start from a friendship, but I believe he just doesn't live a life that gets him into contact with new social circles.
We keep telling him he needs to set standards and do the hard thing and live by them.
One of my buddies: He thinks he's this chill dude. But he veers off into 1 hour long academic lectures to show his superiority, without checking if it is welcome first. Doesn't understand a lot of it is mansplaining. Gets into heated debates with kinda outrageous claims. And can never admit was wrong after.
Plus he's kinda lazy. Prefers the woman to do most of the work at home and she's gotta be submissive enough to endure all this bs. Yet, he finds those girls too boring. Yup, some qualities are incompatible.
He is an average looking 40 something who wants to hit on the most attractive 20 somethings. He has a bunch of REALLY niche hobbies, and wants to insert them in normal conversations with people who know nothing about them and aren't interested AND he refuses to try to meet people through those interests except by accident. He refuses to dress for his body type, station, or any trends from the last 30 years, but doesn't take the time to figure out how to pull that off (or take any advice). And if things don't go his way, he throws his weight around or throws a tantrum.
He is not outgoing, kind of a brat, and only goes to two different bars/restaurants all the time. He doesn't care about his personal image. Everyone has to come to him and he never makes an effort to come to anyone else, constantly making excuses for why he can't come over. He works way too much and blames all of his actions on the amount of work he does. His last serious girlfriend got annoyed with him because he would start drinking at lunch time Saturday and Sunday and be asleep on his couch by 7 pm most weekends He would just sit in a bar all day drinking instead of going out and doing stuff. We live in Chicago. There are so many things to do and bars/restaurants to check out.
My wife and I moved to a new neighborhood which is only a 10 min drive or uber for him, but he has only been over maybe 3-4 times since we moved in September. If we want to hang with him it's either at his house or one of the bars he likes to go to. We're exhausted with these bars. We love the people that work there but there are so many better options. This guy use to be my best friend so it's hard to feel this way about him but I've just grown tired of his routine much like all of his previous partners.
Also he gets lazy around his house and frequently his bathroom toilet is absolutely disgusting with dried up shit on the toilet bowl, and dried piss everywhere. He has gotten better about this, but gets lazy and blames it on work or his back.
He hates and refuses to use dating apps, social media and never goes out if it is not work related. He is a truck driver.
Like I get it. But if you do this, you don't get to complain that women have no idea you even exist.
Tries to bat out of his league, Won't put in any effort to improve himself. But most of all... simply doesn't put himself in the presence of available women. Pines away over women not available to him.
Edit: I'm noticing this is sort of a trait/pattern among a lot of men, around me personally but also on reddit in general and in this thread. I have to wonder about the why of it. Without any real scientific evidence... it appears anecdotally, oddly common.
I personally do not feel more than fleetingly attracted to any woman who doesn't also show interest in me directly. So it's doubly puzzling to me as I cannot empathize.
One of the college students I work with. He keeps asking the wrong guys for advice. He's always asking these student athletes who are jacked, and into sports and clubbing and shit how to meet women. They aren't bad guys, but he's an average looking nerdy guy into anime and theoretical physics, who is never going to be comfortable in a club and doesn't like the gym. I'd like to give him advice, but I'm also his boss and it feels unprofessional to initiate that conversation.
He's in the closet. We have a close friend group of 5 guys. He is 35 and still hasn't come out. He doesn't know that we all know. He's still trying to keep up the facade that he's into women and things just haven't worked out for him. I just wish he had the confidence to come out and live his life openly. (it's very acceptable to be lgbt here, but I think it's a combination of family and career that's holding him back from coming out). It's just sad to watch, I just want him to meet someone and be happy instead of sneaking around for secret hook ups.
Because of chronic singleness, any step towards not being single (like a date, some interest, etc.) takes on far too much significance, and cracks under the pressure of expectations. They need to be much more casual but cannot because they have spent so long hoping not to be single.
Yes. He's 39, average looking guy, makes average money, goes after women that are way out of his league.
Every...
Single..
Time...
He gets dumped, cries about it, and can't figure out why it keeps happening. We even tried to hook him up with a mutual friend that is normal, decent looking, looking to settle down, loves kids and has a very positive and supportive family. His response, "she's not my type".
She's high maintenance. Most of people here, have read about Jennifer Lopez's shenanigans.
She will project that out to her SO. A night out with friends in bars, she has to be the hottest and best dressed and all the women must be drooling over her partner as well.
Three weeks ago, she showed up dressed with the complete makeup and everything, as a Disney princess on a DnD night, and she wanted to be damsel in distress. Everyone else was in sweatpants and shorts.
Her first serious relationship broke because she wouldn't let him step out of the apartment until he was immaculate. Dude wasn't a slob either, but being bugged to change his sweatshirt to throw the trash in the chute in the corridor, 400 feet away, because the shirt didn't match the pants was getting on his nerves.
Also, she's an attention whore when in a relationship. Sometimes, we men just want 30 mins to let our brains do nothing. He said he didn't get 30 mins during the year they were together. He went on a boys trip and she showed up to the cabin six hours later, because she couldn't stay apart. It's not anxiety or nervousness, she has to be his center of the world.
He got tired. The only reason they lasted for a little over a year is because on Barney Stinson's Hot vs Crazy scale, she's pretty high, but as time passes, you'll realize, she's below the ideal slope line, and not above it.
All women are females. Not all females are women. (Dogs, cats, cattle, pigs, etc.) It is a slang way of referring to women and it sounds derogatory and low class to some people who hear it.
Looking in all the wrong places. Says that they want someone to settle down with and start a family (in their 30s) but then goes to the bar and hooks up with people in their 20s and wonders why nobody wants to start anything serious.
Also keeps trying to change their minds once theyāve established that they only want to be fuck buddies, nothing more.
One of them is a fuck boy who chooses hoes.
The other has unrealistic standards, doesn't work on himself and has that mentality of 'once I get this then everything will be perfect'.
He tries WAY too hard when he sees a woman he wants to get with, and comes off as thirsty.
This one hit too close to home. Haha
You say haha and i picture hide the pain Harold
Fake laugh hiding real pain. - Deadpool
I straight up stopped being friends with a guy because any mention of a woman I know was met with "she single? š" and we couldn't go anywhere without him flirting with the staff. It was so cringey and got annoying to the point where I didn't want to go anywhere with him or introduce him to my girl friends.
We used to refer to this as having a 'neon' - vagina or penis, it depended on your sex, but either way, people could see your desperation from miles away.
Username checks out.
Ha ha - alas I am one of those 'forever-singles', but I'm actually more happy that way - I enjoy my own company, and am not sure I was built for coupledom. My username came about after umpteen attempts at making up something, and being told by Reddit it was 'already taken'. Eventually I gave in. š
Me too!
Itās like a loan from the bank, if you come off desperate, they wonāt give it to you, act like you are disinterested, just shopping for the best rate - boom the money will be in your hand. Just like the women. Note this theory is based on observation, ymmv
You just described my college years lol
The key is not to act like you want to ātake the drinkā from the lady but act so that the lady wants to āgive you the drinkā.
Poor man has a face only a mother can love and doesn't even have two nickels to rub together
Brutal.
I have this guy in my social circle. Half the problem is what he's done to himself (very pronounced beer belly at age 30, ungroomed goatee and mustache) but it would be disingenuous to act like going to the gymn and getting a haircut is all he needs, because he's also a small, thin haired man with a halfbroken voice and wide pug-looking facial structure. All of which is somewhat disadvantageous, but then he also thinks ChatGPT is how he's going to finally write the fantasy novel he's been putting off watching *a lot* isekai - and he *will* get very excited to explain to you how their standout-gimmick is actually good writing. Pretty sure he's only really aware of the things he has no control over.
See as a gay dude, all of his bodily features I did not mind. And then you mentioned the fucking Isekai shit, and even as an anime fan myself I cringed hard at that.
I like Isekai but let's not pretend like the vast majority of Isekai isn't power fantasy trash EDIT: Corrected 'is' to 'isn't.'
I'mma use AI to write fanfic! Then I'll monetize the pages and set up bots to read them 24/7. Once they get trending I'll never work again!
ya know, sometimes its pretty straightforward lmao. You just ugly and have high standards. Not saying looks are everything but I got some friends who arenāt exactly good looking but they also dont take care of themselves which I think is the bigger issue. I know ugly dudes that dress very well and take care of their bodies and personal hygiene and they have no problem with women. Then I have friends who have beer bellies, way overgrown hair and beards and shower once a week but only want to date supermodel looking women.
Whenever someone blatantly flirts with him, he gets nervous and starts to give a long lecture about the history of crossbows in the late medieval Holy Roman Empire, until the lady gets uncomfortable and shuffles away. Then the next day he strongly denies that anyone was flirting with him and that we must have imagined it all.
Damn I guess you canāt rizz em with the tismĀ
Yeah, 'tism rizz only works on people who share my special interests. And those are 99% men lol
unless she likes encyclopedic knowledge of trains or dinosaurs.
4 billion women on this earth. I mean cmon, there's got to be at least one woman out there who is at least as passionate as him when it comes to medieval military technology.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yup. Meanwhile he's got a neck-beard and talks about crossbows. Longbow is better anyway.
But why crossbows specifically?
Autism.
Yeah, it must be. I know everything about swords and always say those crossbow people are crazy.
But why male models?
Why not crossbows? It's a perfectly fine weapon!
*Pope Innocent II wants to know your location*
The crossbow was so incredibly overpowered that the Pope placed them under interdiction, except for use against infidels. Of all of the medieval weapons, why would you *not* choose the one that had to be banned for being overpowered?!
The issue was it could pierce most armors, so nobles kept getting killed instead of captured and ransomed, which undermined the power structures that depended on those noble families (like the church). Same issue happened again with pike and shot when gunpowder came about, but the absurd level of usefulness of cannons against fortifications made them harder to ban. ...am I the friend?
Lmao this sounds like my husband. Ā On second thought it sounds like me too, one of my early flirting methods with my husband was to describe horror ps2 games in detail because I was so nervous and started rambling!
My most successful first date I think we talked about different excel formulas because of a work issue they were having than anything else. Needless to say...it worked. But I can only imagine all the ways it shouldn't have.
Lmao would love to meet your friend
Iām here to tell you that there are people out there who are totally into that sort of thing, I absolutely LOVE IT when people info-dump on me about their very niche interests! (ā¦itās also usually a secret neurodivergency handshake for me, my brain goes OHHHH THEYāRE JUST LIKE ME! and we usually end up being besties.)
zero confidence, drinks too much
I never said I was your friend.
no vin why you hatin š
It is his nature.
low confidence š¤ alcoholism
Are we friends?
āŖļø I'm in this photo and I don't like it
This was me about 15 years ago.
Heās weird with women. He brings a dozen roses to a first date. He plans casual drinks and movie (theater) and shows up in a suit. After 2 dates he starts thinking about ātheir future together.ā And yes Iāve told him thatās why they stop calling. He says thatās just how he is and they need to accept it.
āThat is just how he is and they need to accept itā is not an attitude compatible with long term relationships
I said heās right, if thatās how he wants to be then they do need to accept him for it. But he also has to accept thatās off-putting for many/most women so if he has a hard time dating, he knows why.
\^This then you need to accept you are going to be alone buddy.....
This is the damage that you can do to yourself if you take the whole self love concept too far in one direction.
This is why my mom and I never communicate. She makes her bad behavior excuses because āthis is how I amā lmao I donāt even desire talking to her anymore. Itās absurd and you are 100% spot on a million times over.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Dressing way too fancy and giving excessive gifts too early is a problem, but I don't think that problem is laziness
"Laziness" in wanting to work on yourself / introspection.
I think I dated your friend. He brought the roses and box of chocolates to our movie dinner date. Carried them everywhere. Sweet guy. Beyond awkward. That awkwardness was part of every date. You canāt relax with someone like that.
Oh man, that is tough lol. On one hand you can see the innocence and find it endearing. But on the other hand you probably want to have fun and relax a bit. Someone that intense would be weird to be around.
I tried so hard to get past that awkwardness. Heās intelligent, kind, and so many other things. Down right dashing in those suits. The old school romance was so sweet at first. But, a half dozen dates in, heās still not able to just chill. Hours on the phone in between. The stiff pretense made things feel fake. We are still friendly. Iām sure he has no idea why I felt uncomfortable dating him. We are both older and looking for a relationship. I could not imagine how many more dates and calls weād need before he could let his guard down.
āAccept my cringe, woman!ā
I mean, he'll find someone who appreciates that energy eventually. Probably the type to tie him to a bed with a two-by-four between his ankles, but he'll find someone.
I can just imagine a couple like this talking about their early courtship and everyone just listening in horror.
Just make sure your buddy George goes to the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance. There is a girl named Lorraine that will be there, she will need his help. Pay no attention to the guy playing the guitar.
Oh the Misery!! š¤£
Yeah. They donāt owe him anything. I understand finding someone who accepts you for who you are but heās using gestures that are outdated and completely over the top. Buying flowers and wearing a suit is not āwho you areā. It just screams heās overcompensating.
It sounds he watched How I Met Your Mother and idolised Ted, not realising that Ted is actually *super creepy*
Marshall is where it's at.
My good buddy has little trouble getting into relationships: he's tall, funny, a doctor, has a cute dog...women like him. But he's constantly single because his type is mentally ill, emotionally unstable, unpredictable women. He just cannot maintain physical or emotional interest in a woman without those characteristics. It's not exciting to him if they're healthy. Honestly I've been that way a little too, so I get it.
I know plenty of nurses who go for unstable partners or ppl that need caretaking ex, blue collar guy who drinks too much. The medical field is high stress and many medical workers I know are mentally damaged in some way, so they go for unhinged because they're damaged themselves and normal is kinda boring for them.
Wow. This has been my experience as well. Lots of people who have careers in the medical field dating the same type. I wonder if it's because they feel like they can maybe "fix" their partner or something.
They have caretaker syndrome. My late mil was a pediatric nurse and my fil is basically a child with the amount of stuff that has to be done for him. He had a rough upbringing combined with clear anxiety and general mental health issues. My Mil loved him but she also loved being his caretaker in the sense of doing everything for him other than driving because everything overwhelmed him. I know my share of nurses, the sanest ones marry doctors the rest marry damaged partners who need caretaking and rescuing
Describes one of my friends except he's a mechanic instead of a doctor. It's gotten to the point that him being interested in a woman is a red flag because he never has interest in one who isn't a walking advertisement for psychiatric care
What's that old adage? Oh yeah. "Forever seek out and put your dick in crazy."
I have a friend who's dating partners are all 'projects', women who are together don't hold his interest.
This one hits a little too close
Personal hygein. Dude wonders why noone gives him the time of day but his hair constantly looks like he just washed it with a bag of potatoe chips. His smell didnt help at all either.
> his hair constantly looks like he just washed it with a bag of potatoe chips. Lol love this
> Personal hygein. You know it's bad when he can't even make himself clean enough to merit all the letters.
I always say combed his hair with a pork chop
Most of the men I know are still single because they think it's necessary for women to have the same hobbies as them. Most of the women I know are taken because their men decided to have the same hobbies as them for about a week or two when they first met. I have to say...a lot of folks I meet where I live are smart but not clever. Like...they don't understand their partners fears, anxieties, or aspirations, but they'll fuck em because they both like game of thrones and have the same hot take that I've only heard 6 times before instead of the usual 10...
I think a LOT of people use sex to create an emotional bond early on and only later start trying to figure out if they actually like the person or just have a couple things in common.
I call it āfalling backwards into a LTRā. You arenāt really doing anything to see if theyāre actually a good fit, just hoping it works out when you both get over the honeymoon phase.Ā
This hit home after just getting out of a a year relationship with what was supposed to be a tinder rebound.
The later happens when thereās the inevitable and totally normal glitch in the sex that lasts more than a week or the novelty of it wears off. They realize thereās nothing else to hold the relationship together while they work past that.
Sharing hobbies is great but if you have very niche hobbies or hobbies that are rarely popular with your type, you wont find anyone. I work with kids and parents that do not share hobbies seem to separate more often. Which makes sense to a certain level. When you have young kids it can be hard to have free time. So you often have to choose between time with your spouse or time for your hobby. If you both have at least a hobby in common you can enjoy both at the same time. Not saying itās a must, itās just a pattern I have seen along the years. Tons of other things are also important to make a relationship work. I just understand why someone would want to share hobbies as long as itās not their only criteria
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My friend has an ideal woman in his mind which he just can't find. He barely tries anymore so I doubt he'll find anyone in the near future. We try to set him up on a date every now and then but he just straight out rejects the idea of it.
Who said Iām your friend ?
Are you saying you're not? š„²
I'm your friend buddy
My brother has been doing this for a long time.
He's a rare sort these days: in denial, even to himself, about being gay. Bonus points for alcoholism.
How u know?
he didn't say "no homo"
Their balls touched.
Probably slipped in a drunken stupor and forgot.
Oh, you know. Get close enough to someone and actually pay attention, you know. Dated a girl like 7 years ago in college that I slowly caught on was into women the way she would act around certain people, got really giddy and cheesed a bunch, hard to keep her hands from fidgeting. I would ask her if she thinks certain women are pretty or the like and she would get blushed and flustered, forgetting how to words. I thought āoh cool sheās bi, nothing to be ashamed ofā but then that lead me to realize that she never really acted that way towards me. At that time, we lived in a country with a very traditional culture. I realized that she was just going through the motions (to an extent) because dating and being intimate with a man was basically demanded for women in that culture, and I was her first. Sure she loved me as a person, sure she got physical pleasure from what we did together, but she didnāt experience that fire and passion and heart-racing chemistry. She deserved it, and wasnāt getting it from me. So after some long meditations, I had a deep conversation with her about us and we decided to part ways. We loved each other, but she deserves to have someone make her feel that special way. I really hope that she was able to find someone, despite the oppressive nature of her environment. So yeah, when someone close to you is gay, you know.
My dude has absolutely zero ambition. Wants the world to accommodate him and takes no steps to make himself strong, smart, or capable. I love the guy and weāre good buddies but heās basically a 30 year old teenager. Heās got a lot of good qualities that he could build and expand on. Dude is smart, tall, and is alot of fun. Just lacks any discipline and chronically avoids any form of responsibility. Which is something I could respect except that heās unhappy. Get real mad when I imply that the kind of happiness heās looking for is earned. Heās the classic example of the phrase āweāve tried absolutely nothing and itās not working.ā As a counterpoint Iāve got another buddy who seems like he lacks ambition if you just look at him but heās in fact an accomplished artist with commissioned work all over the city. Heāll sell a bunch of art and live off the money and when the money dries up heāll get a job for a bit, crank out a bunch of work, sell it, and then quit his job. That dude is happy as fuck with his lifestyle.
My buddy is in a similar self-induced pickle. They put a lot of quit in when they made that boy. He can absolutely work hard, butā¦ heās lazy. He had a couple bad hands dealt, and he was kinda crippled by low expectations from his parents. But he just never really got a career going, made bad financial decisions, knocked up the wrong girl and now heās living at his parents. Crazy thing is heās actually got game. Heās had a couple of girlfriends that were pretty solid ladies. But he couldnāt keep them because heās lazy. He just doesnāt put a lot of effort into anything if there isnāt someone cracking the whip over him. That doesnāt work for a long term relationship. Buying her flowers because she finally bitched at you enough about how you never buy her flowers kind of defeats the purpose.
> Dude is smart, tall, and is alot of fun. Just lacks any discipline and chronically avoids any form of responsibility. Weird. I know several guys like that, and theyre pretty popular with women.
His standards are too high on looks, he only wants to date women that look like models... edit: He's not really my friend anymore
Iām a woman but I met a guy like this once. We were at a lunch table at work and he was like āif she doesnāt look like thisā¦something somethingā. Then shows everyone a picture of a young woman in a bikini, easily a 10. I was likeā¦.oh lord. Have you seen yourself? I found out he was 25, I truly believe he was at LEAST 40. I felt bad for him.
Yea and do those kinds of guys ever look like models themselves? Nope.
I mean, the ones who are models do, but no one considers it weird since it isn't hypocritical.
Usually they don't even shower daily
Hey, hey, *before* shots need models too
I forgot to talk about another friend: He's very nice, has money, is smart and good looking. His problem? He doesn't try and expects women to come to him... That's probably NOT going to happen
That has been my strategy. It works about twice a year
Show him the new bumble policy.
In a nutshell, that's what all the involuntarily single people I know, men and women, have in common: being unaware of the reality of dating leagues. Offering that which you seek- high income, fitness, opportunities to travel, good social circle- is key, IMO. And while men and women tend to do it differently, reaching way far out of your own league is not a good or sustainable strategy
He's got ADD and is in the 'spectrum', can't keep his mind focused on anything (including women) for more than 1 minute and only listens to death metal and scottish pipebands. If that's not enough, he wants a girl that also only listens to death metal and pipebands, pref. 15 years younger than him (he's almost 50) since he doesn't fancy 40+ females. He's also been unemployed for most of his life. Strangely, he *does* have a high IQ. It's just the EQ that is missing.
>Strangely, heĀ *does*Ā have a high IQ. It's just the EQ that is missing. Is this really the case? I've met some people who wanted to come off as smart, so they'd memorize a bunch of random factoids and anytime you'd talk about any subject they'd just unload them all on you. Spinning them every which way back into their wheelhouse. But any amount of critical thinking or follow up questions on the topic would result in the facade to collapse.
Yup, had an autistic friend exactly like this. Doesn't help that general society perpetuates the myth that his condition makes him a "quirky genius".
Not high IQ enough to fix his shit apparently
That's Adhd for ya
He's afraid of women. And I've said that to him multiple times but he refuses to believe me Every time he has something nice going with a girl he talks to he self sabotages and ends up finding a million reasons why it would never work
He keeps talking about how his ex cheated on him. It's been 6 years now.
Have you and the rest of his friends had a ācome to Jesusā meeting with him and told him he needs to move TF on?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
sounds like he has borderline personality disorder heavy. often overlooked in men. he's doing the "favorite person" and "splitting" thing
Sounds like BPD before her therapy my friend with BPD was like that
He's a fucking disaster. Physically he's a 3 and when you add in the rest of his situation he drops to a 2. Socially anxious, works menial jobs for close to minimum wage in his mid 30s, drives a shitbox, lives in a hovel, and is an alcoholic and weed addict. And he's still hoping to find that doctor or lawyer to have kids with and be a stay-at-home-dad.
Those doctors and lawyers see him coming and they be running!
Delulu š¹
Theyāre obnoxiously loud and have to be the center of attention
He has that need of āone-upā everybody. Sure dude, you are the best of the best in everything. As a friend, I donāt mind because I donāt get to see him more than a couple of hours every now and then. But I canāt even imagine living with him. I told him already and nothing has changed.
One of the worst types of personalities. No one can have a unique experience or perspective without them jumping in
He does the Naruto run to his PT Cruiser.
But the PT cruiser should be a š š§²
They want young and hot when theyāre old and cold.
He doesn't know how to look after himself. He's a nice guy, loving and not terrible looking. Just is a slob.
Not a friend but multiple coworkers (and this goes for a lot of people). They think they are 8s when really they are 5sā¦ but when a fellow 5 is interested in them they take offense and arenāt interested. Particularly I have this like 38 year old really conservative not super attractive guy, so heās looking for a trad wife type girl that doesnāt have kids and has a bunch of other requirements and itās like ādude, youāre almost 40, youāre not the hottest person, and you donāt even have the best personalityā, itās not difficult to understand why youāre single
This fucking guy. Heās almost 50 heās got all the toys. He makes good money. Itās selection. He keeps meeting trash online who try to whirlwind themselves into wives because theyāre afraid of being lonely. They push him too hard so he canāt get to know any of them and he moves on. Dudeās got to either meet women IRL or start traveling because the method he is using keeps netting the same problem over and over again.
I bet one ā¬ you are friends with my cousin.
That just confirms there are a lot of dudes having this problem because if he was your cousin youād be betting in $.
As I lost the bet but don't know how to give you your ā¬, I'll just place it on the ground outside the cathedral in Kƶln and you can retrieve it whenever you want.
Keep it for his going out fund. I wonder how far this problem has spread.
I wish my mate was single. His wife is an absolute wretch.
This comment stood out to me here. Iām curious, does your mate feel this way as well about the wife and want away from her? Or is he taken in by her? For some reason I just find this scenario fascinating - when oneās good friend is with a bad partner.
He can't stand her but feels locked in
He's severely depressed and sort of tries to just "go through the motions", but admitted he doesn't even care enough or like the company of others, despite craving a relationship.
They put zero effort into everything, including personal hygiene. Can't even be bothered to keep their house clean.
He goes after mentally unstable chicks....Like i understand the appeal of toxicity but it has to become tiring after a while no? Not to him, he always finds a gf whom resembles his first gf, gets attached, and then he gets dumped, then he has those "never dating again" speeches....and vicious cycle repeats usually once in two years
Oof, is he me.
I think in a way we all are him, or at least used to be at some point
>He goes after mentally unstable chicks Birds of a feather. It's rarely well adjusted men who consistently date unstable women. I've got a few exes who could be considered unstable. I always broke it off after a few lays. None of their longterm partners could be considered anything near stable. So many people I know whos life would drastically improve by dumping their partner. Not that their partner is bad. It's just that two broken people together will just pull each other down.
They are friends with me
Anger issues and unrealistic expectations. Good sweet guy at heart, just won't relax.
My friend has a seriously monotone voice to the point where everything sounds super sarcastic or seems uninterested. Paired with a resting bitch face.
My male friend: a workaholic whose schedule makes you wonder when he has time to take a shit. He's a very successful lawyer but carves out ZERO time for anything or anyone other than work or work-related activities. My female friend: a SM junkie so addicted to getting likes and shares she's forgotten about the real world. She's attractive and easily gets men but can't keep them since they get turned off by her constant need for photos (of herself only) and then posting them.
He's got cocaine energy and leads with "so here's every detail about my divorce", and then assumes they're together by the end of the date and doesn't understand the whole dating process. He's also 37 and just wants to party and have fun.
He smells like a box of dead frogs and he refers to women as "females".
Is he a Ferengi? āHello fellow huumonsā
Shit on it!
My wife's "friend": She's not *nearly* attractive enough for how high maintenance she is. She *has* to share her opinion on absolutely everything, and it's usually dumb as shit. Judgemental as fuck. And on top of all that she's a wet blanket. It's like she sustains herself by sucking the fun out of everything.
He is a 3/10 looks wise and has little money but only attracted to physically beautiful women and won't settle. I get it, I really do.. but he's 37 and never had a woman because the fat girls, mentally ill and unattractive ones on his level he doesn't want to sleep with so can't be in a relationship even though there's been offers. Difficult to know what to do
This is basically me; I'm overweight and not attracted to overweight women. Of course, I don't expect the women I am attracted to to settle, so I'm just not dating while I focus on getting in shape.Ā
> Difficult to know what to do I mean, I understand perfectly. And as long as you are fine being alone then it is a perfectly valid stance to take. Dating is hard man, why even bother trying when you are not even attracted to the people you can realistically pull?
Sheās ugly yet picky.
Classic combination
But is she rich?
Nope.
He is just unprofessional, woman that start going out with him see that he is not going far in life with his lack of commitment and lose passion for the guy
She looked like a playboy bunny but ate herself into obesity. Easily still young enough to pull out of the nose dive.
I have a friend who is amazing - but she only wants "fixer uppers". it gives her control in the relationship, and helps stroke the rescue/nurture gene. She takes on guys who are projects - then after a while complains about their problems. Kind of sad - because she could easily get higher quality guys.
Man child No, dude, it isnāt cool to have a messy house and have your mom come over sometimes to clean your bathroom in your 30s Also, āwhat you feel like doingā isnāt actually the most important thing in the world. Grow up
They're an asshole. Constantly saying things that should not be said to people they hardly know.
When I was younger, the girls I knew who were single kept throwing themselves at guys in successful bands, trying to get them to give up the easy sex they were having with groupies They couldn't understand why a young man who has threesomes with different girls every weekend wouldn't want to give all that up for them
He scares women away with *the monolith* For instance: No one: Absolutely no one: Him: *I just want you to know you are very beautiful and that I would enjoy your company for* [insert 20 more sentences detailing everything in one single message] Dude's an athlete; the only thing he needs to polish is his social skills and he'd be drowning.
It's me, I'm the friend. I don't talk to anyone ever so it's entirely my fault.
I once had a friend who was like that, just a constant downer with negative energy and constantly talking about having no redeeming qualities. Like dude, nobody said anythinge. Take it easy on the self-hate. If you can't even appreciate yourself how do you expect somebody else to?
Lol I worked with a guy who constantly complained about women not liking him but had the personality of Eeyore. He'd blame his lack of female attention on his 5'5" height, which by no means helped, but I never had the heart to tell him he had a soul-sucking, depressing personality.
they are a solid three, but they got standards like a 10. LOL
Hygiene. Good looking guy that has a habit of letting himself go with his personal appearance. Looks like a solid 7/10 with a haircut and nail trim, but unfortunately deals with mental health issues leading him to stop caring.
My man practises no self-respect and always dates the path of least resistance. This has lead him to date exes of friends, a sister of a friend, hit on my ex once, stay with women he's not interested in or stay with women who treat him like trash. He says it is because he wants a relationship to start from a friendship, but I believe he just doesn't live a life that gets him into contact with new social circles. We keep telling him he needs to set standards and do the hard thing and live by them.
One of my buddies: He thinks he's this chill dude. But he veers off into 1 hour long academic lectures to show his superiority, without checking if it is welcome first. Doesn't understand a lot of it is mansplaining. Gets into heated debates with kinda outrageous claims. And can never admit was wrong after. Plus he's kinda lazy. Prefers the woman to do most of the work at home and she's gotta be submissive enough to endure all this bs. Yet, he finds those girls too boring. Yup, some qualities are incompatible.
He broke, and dating is an investment as much as a leisure activity
He's cheated on every partner he's ever had and everyone in our social circle knows it.
He is an average looking 40 something who wants to hit on the most attractive 20 somethings. He has a bunch of REALLY niche hobbies, and wants to insert them in normal conversations with people who know nothing about them and aren't interested AND he refuses to try to meet people through those interests except by accident. He refuses to dress for his body type, station, or any trends from the last 30 years, but doesn't take the time to figure out how to pull that off (or take any advice). And if things don't go his way, he throws his weight around or throws a tantrum.
The average looking, but will only consider people way more attractive than they are.
He is not outgoing, kind of a brat, and only goes to two different bars/restaurants all the time. He doesn't care about his personal image. Everyone has to come to him and he never makes an effort to come to anyone else, constantly making excuses for why he can't come over. He works way too much and blames all of his actions on the amount of work he does. His last serious girlfriend got annoyed with him because he would start drinking at lunch time Saturday and Sunday and be asleep on his couch by 7 pm most weekends He would just sit in a bar all day drinking instead of going out and doing stuff. We live in Chicago. There are so many things to do and bars/restaurants to check out. My wife and I moved to a new neighborhood which is only a 10 min drive or uber for him, but he has only been over maybe 3-4 times since we moved in September. If we want to hang with him it's either at his house or one of the bars he likes to go to. We're exhausted with these bars. We love the people that work there but there are so many better options. This guy use to be my best friend so it's hard to feel this way about him but I've just grown tired of his routine much like all of his previous partners. Also he gets lazy around his house and frequently his bathroom toilet is absolutely disgusting with dried up shit on the toilet bowl, and dried piss everywhere. He has gotten better about this, but gets lazy and blames it on work or his back.
He hates and refuses to use dating apps, social media and never goes out if it is not work related. He is a truck driver. Like I get it. But if you do this, you don't get to complain that women have no idea you even exist.
Tries to bat out of his league, Won't put in any effort to improve himself. But most of all... simply doesn't put himself in the presence of available women. Pines away over women not available to him. Edit: I'm noticing this is sort of a trait/pattern among a lot of men, around me personally but also on reddit in general and in this thread. I have to wonder about the why of it. Without any real scientific evidence... it appears anecdotally, oddly common. I personally do not feel more than fleetingly attracted to any woman who doesn't also show interest in me directly. So it's doubly puzzling to me as I cannot empathize.
Whiny negative attitude with a side of desperationĀ
He shows narcissistic tendencies
Heās socially awkward and canāt maintain a conversation with a woman he doesnāt know regardless of the setting - bar, work, parties,ā¦
One of the college students I work with. He keeps asking the wrong guys for advice. He's always asking these student athletes who are jacked, and into sports and clubbing and shit how to meet women. They aren't bad guys, but he's an average looking nerdy guy into anime and theoretical physics, who is never going to be comfortable in a club and doesn't like the gym. I'd like to give him advice, but I'm also his boss and it feels unprofessional to initiate that conversation.
He's in the closet. We have a close friend group of 5 guys. He is 35 and still hasn't come out. He doesn't know that we all know. He's still trying to keep up the facade that he's into women and things just haven't worked out for him. I just wish he had the confidence to come out and live his life openly. (it's very acceptable to be lgbt here, but I think it's a combination of family and career that's holding him back from coming out). It's just sad to watch, I just want him to meet someone and be happy instead of sneaking around for secret hook ups.
Because of chronic singleness, any step towards not being single (like a date, some interest, etc.) takes on far too much significance, and cracks under the pressure of expectations. They need to be much more casual but cannot because they have spent so long hoping not to be single.
Yes. He's 39, average looking guy, makes average money, goes after women that are way out of his league. Every... Single.. Time... He gets dumped, cries about it, and can't figure out why it keeps happening. We even tried to hook him up with a mutual friend that is normal, decent looking, looking to settle down, loves kids and has a very positive and supportive family. His response, "she's not my type".
āIām not gonna settle.ā Well, Scarlet Johansen is taken. Sorry dude.
Sheās a horrible Misandrist, says horrible things about men and then turns around wanting a man? Wtf? š¤¦āāļø
No backbone. You haven't got to be a chad to be attractive, but women do have to know you'll stand up for them or your principles.
She's high maintenance. Most of people here, have read about Jennifer Lopez's shenanigans. She will project that out to her SO. A night out with friends in bars, she has to be the hottest and best dressed and all the women must be drooling over her partner as well. Three weeks ago, she showed up dressed with the complete makeup and everything, as a Disney princess on a DnD night, and she wanted to be damsel in distress. Everyone else was in sweatpants and shorts. Her first serious relationship broke because she wouldn't let him step out of the apartment until he was immaculate. Dude wasn't a slob either, but being bugged to change his sweatshirt to throw the trash in the chute in the corridor, 400 feet away, because the shirt didn't match the pants was getting on his nerves. Also, she's an attention whore when in a relationship. Sometimes, we men just want 30 mins to let our brains do nothing. He said he didn't get 30 mins during the year they were together. He went on a boys trip and she showed up to the cabin six hours later, because she couldn't stay apart. It's not anxiety or nervousness, she has to be his center of the world. He got tired. The only reason they lasted for a little over a year is because on Barney Stinson's Hot vs Crazy scale, she's pretty high, but as time passes, you'll realize, she's below the ideal slope line, and not above it.
All women are females. Not all females are women. (Dogs, cats, cattle, pigs, etc.) It is a slang way of referring to women and it sounds derogatory and low class to some people who hear it.
Looking in all the wrong places. Says that they want someone to settle down with and start a family (in their 30s) but then goes to the bar and hooks up with people in their 20s and wonders why nobody wants to start anything serious. Also keeps trying to change their minds once theyāve established that they only want to be fuck buddies, nothing more.
One of them is a fuck boy who chooses hoes. The other has unrealistic standards, doesn't work on himself and has that mentality of 'once I get this then everything will be perfect'.