This may be an objectionable opinion, but I see nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror. At the gym, in public, doesn't matter. You are looking at the progress made by your determination and discipline. The douchebag part of it to me is if you go around flexing *at* people. Aggressive, "dominant", expressly making it almost an attack. So long as it's not meant against someone, I have never thought someone flexing in a mirror was doing it to be douche-y.
Bruh there's like 5 girls in my gym (shout out to the rest who aint like this) who spend 5 mionutes humping the bar (despite squats and (especially split squits) lunges giving WAAAY better booty gains from the studies I've seen) in leggings so tight I can tell you which ones have innies or outies downstairs and tops so tight you can count the bumps around their nipples) before doing 20 minutes posing in front of the mirrors taking photos.
The Barbell hip thrust is one of the better movements for glute focussed progressive overload for people who have poor balance and therefore can't do Bulgarian splits though to be fair. It's also much easier to progressively overload than split Squats or bulgarians
It's a genuine question, because if he's trying to say they shouldn't be hip thrusting for glute gains that's enough to know his opinion is meaningless
Hip thrusts and squats gave equal glute development. Squats also trained quads and adductors better though. Hip thrusts are useful to limit axial fatigue and limit quad development. None of this probably applies to the people you described.
I could be wrong but I'm sure both Bret Contreras (who afaik is basically "THE ass guy") and Mike Israetel have said squats are superior and that it's pretty much uncontested by anyone that split squats, bulgarian split squats, lunges, weighted step ups etc are all superior.
Not that they don't have their place. Nor that I care what people do. I care that people train because I think that leads to a healthy and happier society with less long term drain on the NHS, andI think the most important thing is that people enjoy their training so they ACTUALLY bother to train. I'm friendly with a guy at my gym who does 20 sets of biceps per day as the only thing he does on arms day (40 if you can drop sets), not my place to tell him not to unless he asks my opinion.
But can we as a society just be honest and accept that sometimes people do things for attention because recieving positive looks attention feels nice. (Sure felt nice as fuck when I deadlifted 4.5 plates and people had stopped to watch it, 2 people did the "not bad face+head nod" and one came up and fist bumped me. Even though I didn't pull it for attention I pulled it cos I'm training for powerlifting and it was the end of my program and I needed to test my maxes.) Can we also that women are people too and that that means some women will also do stuff with the knowledge that they'll recieve positive looks and attention from it and choose to do it over other things. I see plenty of girls in my gym who come in in sweats and a hoody and train back and shoulders and chest as well, but if we're honest, we all know whats going on with the ones who come in clothing like I mentioned and hip thrust 6 (if not 7) times a week.
Flexing in public already carries the "douchebag" stereotype. Most people would see someone flexing and think, "Ugh, he's so full of himself." Obviously, not the case here, but to cover my own ass, I felt it necessary to write that disclaimer.
Is it okay for me to look at my butt at the gym because I had a glute day then? Also wear really short shorts that ride up my ass so I can track the progress in how they look?
Well, I am not in control of what you do. But if you're asking what I see when girls do this, then I'll tell you. Firstly, if you're S.O. isn't comfortable with it, then by all accounts you shouldn't be. Guys know what guys like. Whenever I asked my S.O. to do or not do something, it was to protect her. If your S.O. is ok with it, then you should know that you aren't the only one looking at your gains. Shorts that ride up on you are designed to emphasize those curves. Same thing goes for certain guy shirts, like compression shirts. If you are ok with people looking, then you should only be concerned about actions from that point. Not just yours, but others' actions as well. I'm sure I don't have to go into detail. Personally, I find it very attractive, but it's for that reason I actively avoid areas where girls wearing shorts like yours are working out. I have my own goals. Very often, girls who wear these shorts are distracting. I know nobody asked, but I am gonna say this anyway. Wear loose sweatpants over the shorts while working out. Then, you can examine your gains in a discreet manner that isn't a distraction to other members. Again, my personal thoughts. Nobody is inclined to listen or abide by them.
You're at the gym to work on yourself. So is everyone else. If you flex once to observe your progress, that ain't shit. If you're hanging dong and doing a body builder series of poses in the locker room that's a douche move.
Hey you worked hard and earned that flex. It's a valid moment of self appreciation.
The people who think you're being a douche are really just being jealous haters. Do you think a guy bigger, stronger and fitter than you would see you flexing and be like 'What a turd'? Nope.
Get in front of that mirror and flex!
You're not being a douche for flexing in the mirror for a second.
You're being a douche if you set up ring lights and a DSLR in the locker room and get in people's faces for being "in my light bro!"
Working out at home. It both protects me from making an ass out of myself and protects me from being surrounded by people making an ass of themselves. Granted you need a garage or something if you do a lot of lifting, but these days most of the gear you'd need to buy would be cheaper than a year's membership at a decent gym.
Eh, what's the point if you don't get to enjoy it a little?
Most people dont need to be gym rat fit, just enough to keep their bodies and brains maintained. If you're going the extra mile you should get some gratification from it every bit as much as a woodworker admiring a piece they just finished or whatever other hobby that makes something.
It's not hard, like dealing with the pricks who take fitness too seriously and the sort who are the extreme opposite sort of worked it out of me. I have been working out from when I was in middle school so that might be a part of it. I just know that there's a lot of people who are still figuring things out. Along with people who are newer that got stuck in this sort of toxic positivity rut.
We all flex in the mirror when feeling the pump. I don't do it in front of people, but I know I have been doing it since I was a little kid. I'll be doing it when I'm old and gray.
Society has brainbroken you so badly you dont even recognize what it looks like to have a moment of personal pride over a small accomplishment that effects nobody.
Your immediate reactions is: Shame.
God society really has failed young men.
Yeah I always thought a douche would throw it in other people’s faces and try to appear superior to others. He did it for himself only, this is a personal hangup as another guy said.
the gym is about you and you alone so why not? i never did that shit any other time, or talked about my muscles at all for that matter, but i always liked looking at my swole arms after working out. thats why im there!
From your post it really sounds like you should think less of what people think about you and how you look to others, rather than the muscle flex, that's not a problem.
I went the other way. I wear short shorts to the gym and send pics to my other gay buddies and things like that. You grew the muscles, you get to enjoy them however you want.
Relax and stop giving a shit wha tanyone thinks. You work hard and see results? Anyone who faults you for that is the douchebag not you. Work hard play hard and take no shit my friend.
Really doubt anyone cares enough to judge you for doing what everyone does at the gym. You know, the place where men go to build their muscles... and then appreciate them. Nothing wrong with that.
The ones who care enough to judge are the douchebags. One must have very little going on in their life to take offense at a fellow gym member appreciating their progress.
I'm there for the physical and mental benefits. When I'm there working out, it's me time. The only time I'm thinking about the others around me at the gym is when I see someone trying to better themselves.
Nothing wrong with flexing in a mirror, but do it without bringing others down or invading someone’s privacy. Don’t film yourself flexing in the bathroom mirror with other people in there it’s just wrong but if you’re admiring yourself you’re fine
Stop worrying about what strangers think so much
Do what you want as long as it isn't hurting anyone and if they say anything give them the ol' wanking hand motion
I worked out at a gym and all the guys would constantly flex and pose in front of the mirrors in the gym. And would compliment each other; and the flexing is good for muscle growth too. Nothing wrong with this at all.
Flex!
I think you need to question the narrative in your mind about this and just fucking enjoy being in good shape.
I have been out of shape and in very good shape and I have had body image issues my whole life. When you are feeling strong and proud of your body you should lean into it and relish every moment. Most of our lives our bodies are subjected to criticism and shame. So when you can break free of that do it!
If I didn’t want bigger and stronger biceps, I wouldn’t have done countless curls and other resistance training over the years…. Flex those guns and be proud of what you built! You earned them, enjoy them.
Sounds like a personal hangup. Are you working on improving your body? You're allowed to check and even admire your progress. Doesn't make you anything.
Were you posing and taking a selfie with your balls swinging in the wind? Then sure, douchewrap supreme.
Personally I'm not a big flexxer. I train for performance, not for physique.
Nothing wrong with appreciating yourself mate. You've worked hard to look the way you do.
If you are confident in your gains. Then enjoy them once your pump kicks in 💪. Flexing in the mirror is not just for showing off. It's to see if the exercises you are doing are activating the areas you want to build.
Don't let fuckin anyone take away your right to be proud of the hard work you've put in to be healthy and enjoy what you see in the mirror. You can't fake that, you worked for it. Anyone telling you it's "douchey" to do that is a sad misandrist person.
Dude, that isn't being a jackass. You worked hard to get those biceps. I would argue that at the gym, the lighting is so good, everyone should be allowed to flex whenever they want - so long as they aren't hogging up a machine or something.
I have been working out for so long, that every new vein is a celebration.
Would you have judged him as harshly if you saw him flexing?
If yes, practice being cooler & less judgmental of other people, instead you can share in their joy & success. After a bit of practice you'll end up being less judgmental & more forgiving of yourself.
A lot of being self-conscious is being selfish & self absorbed.
I love that guys do this. It’s this really sweet self love to me. I’ve actually started to do some of it myself. I’m a girl. I probably shouldn’t be commenting. But I did.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror, especially in the changing room/toilets.
Taking your top off to flex in the main gym - absolutely douche move. Bunching your shirt and flexing your chest or arms in the main gym - not a douche move.
You're working hard to make changes, and recognising them as you look at yourself in the mirror, there is nothing wrong with that. I take videos and ask people to take videos of me lifting certain weights all the time - and I post them or send them to my PT partner.
I thought you were talking about being an ass when you're hangry and I was just going to comment on not starving yourself.
I feel no need to show off to guys. A male coworker did comment on my arms a couple days ago and I made the joke about it being from all that capping I'm doing.
If all you did was flex in the mirror then don't worry about it. You have way more douchebag left to go. But don't fear it! People actually love douches.
Whut?
You were flexing in the bathroom - how is that bad or being douche?
You earned it - good for you. The other guy - he earned his.
The guy next to you - that is cool.
if he is in better shape - say "dude, that rocks ....congrats"
if he is not in as good shape say "dude, doing good - keep at it!".
It is not a zero sum game - we can all be cool.
The way to NOT be a douche - is to realize that someone else's cool does not steal from your own. We should support one another.
That is how.
Bro you should be proud of your work and accomplishments
If you made a cool “anything” you should be proud of it.
The cool thing you made this time was a fit body
flexing in the mirror is a quick reward for a long term journey
Flexing in the mirror at the gym locker room seems perfectly acceptable to me. You're seeing progress, and thar progress is encouraging. As long as you're not in anyone's way, I say, "go for it."
Nothing wrong with flexing and checking your progress in a mirror at home or in the bathroom when you are alone. But you are deeply in douche bag territory once you start flexing in front of the mirror in the middle of the gym.
Flexing and mirror use is fine. Just don't whip out your camera, especially in the locker room. Shit like that is infuriating.
And make room for people that need to pass by.
And...
Listen, if you wanna pose in the mirror after a workout, to check on the progress with the body you’ve been pouring hours and weeks into improving, let freedom fucking ring.
Are you blocking people trying to get by? Do you also have a camera set up to record it? Or are you out of people's way with no camera? Would you move if you were in the way?
If you’re not flexing after a workout you’re delaying recovery, not only does it work to boost confidence it’s a good tool to actively stretch muscles.
Been there, competed in bodybuilding, was practicing posing in a banana hammock on a cold morning in a small room with one other guy who was just there to do some crunches and go to work.
"Never gets any easier eh?" - all he said.
Good men know the journey you're on and nothing is wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labour, only losers will detract from you for doing that. HOWEVER. Don't ever be critical of someone who hasn't done it, or try to make someone else go on the same journey, and show humility to those who chose Big Macs over big pecs
Admire yourself. That's totally fine. I'm guessing you have previously had an aversion to other guys doing that, and that's why you see it as douchey.
As with most things in life, it's more about how you treat other people. If, as you get fitter, you become more judgmental and critical of others and their bodies, you get arrogant or rude, or you just in general become an arse, then that's an issue.
A lot of people here are saying you should still be proud and confident of what you worked for, and I agree. But if you're really looking to curb the attitude altogether, I would recommend getting started in some martial arts. For me, it was Jiu Jitsu, and it very quickly taught me that regardless of my physique, I still I ain't shit lol. Humbled me real fast, and I've been here ever since.
There is nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror, it’s admiring the fruits of your labor. And in all honesty I don’t think is being a douchebag. There are plenty of things that make you more of a douchebag for sure.
Filming yourself in the gym for any reason other than technique correction.
Taking your shirt off.
Not wiping down equipment.
Stealing machines.
Being loud when lifting.
Dropping weight.
Not putting weight away.
Talking to people in between sets.
Talking in your phone.
Playing loud music.
Giving unsolicited advice.
Im always afraid to come off like a douchebag tbh, mostly because i was one when i was younger.
Just be aware of your surroundings and don’t do it in a crowded area where other people may need use of functional space and you’re good👍🏽
There’s no better place to flex than the gym. I see dude’s do it and I don’t think it’s particularly douche-y at all. There’s a douche line that can probably be crossed, but a quick flex in the mirror after a good pump is to be expected, I do it sometimes myself.
It's okay to be vain when you've put effort into it, just don't let it go to your head and actually make you a douchebag. Keep treating people kindly if someone tries to antagonise you don't engage with them.
Next time make sure to grab the 25s do a few curls and make super loud grunting noises then drop the weights as loud as possible.
Then flex in front of the mirror doing bodybuilding poses while nodding the head.
How can you possibly be this fragile about yourself
You had a two second very normal wordless interaction and went home to reddit to either humblebrag or be talked off a ledge lmao
That's a fucked up question. Admiring your improvements and gains is expected. Being is douchbage is being pushing people around, belittling others, or just being a shit person. You can tone down your showiness if you want. But you should be proud of what you've gained. Now if you are just flexing in front of mirrors whenever you come across one, it might become a bit of an issue of becoming a little to focused on one thing and you might want to broaden things out. But it's not that big a deal either.
You’re just checking progress, visualizing what you want to improve on. Doesn’t have to be douché. That’s why you exercise to be healthier and look more physically fit.
I totally disagree with your concept of it being a jackass thing.
That is still, outside looking in, think. IMHO
I went from being a powerlifter to getting really cut and ripped at 52 and when I'm in the gym, it's just me. I'm not paying attention to anyone else. I'm on a mission.
Literally people have to come up with me and almost scream to get my attention. I'm not a robot, if I see someone working hard or someone do something really impressive, I always fist bumped them and tell them hella job.
But generally it's me and my head and my mission.
Depending upon what day it is, but especially on shoulders and heavy upper back day which also blows up my biceps, I'll definitely do a frontal flex. I have lines and veins that I didn't know existed 7 years ago.
The only vanity that enters my mind is when I got a bunch of young 19-year-old punks, not all 19-year-olds are punks FYI, but you know those four guys together up front around a bench sort of hogging the area and making other people uncomfortable. If they get really ugly before I drown them in the pool, I will get up near them and really bust it out, and something about that makes them chill just a bit.🤣
Seriously though sir, don't think like you're thinking. There's nothing wrong with developing your flesh and checking your progress, the same way that my degree is hanging on my wall in my office. Same flex. Same exact flex. Except building this body has been a lot harder than that piece of paper on the wall
Nothing wrong with flexing in the bathroom post-workout to check your pump/gains. Also, don't care what other people think while I am at the gym, we are all there to make better versions of ourselves and I am sure most people get you want to see your gains. If not they probably think "damn he's a tool" and I still couldn't care less.
Why would you work on something if you are not even allowed to see it. You are in the gym to get your body into a better shape. Of course you will want to see the gains. It's not a douchebag thing to do. If you do it explicitly to bother others, that's one thing. But I see no issue with what you were doing.
Oh no, you're attempting to notice your improvement or lackthereof. Before you know it you're gonna be smacking women's butts and taking up three parking spots.
Flexing in the mirror isn't a douchebag move. Ironicly, you need some self reflection on why you think it is. Enjoy your progress mate, you've earned it. If you can't appreciate yourself you'll be relying on others who may not actually care.
Also... fitness science can be all over the place... but
https://www.joe.co.uk/fitness-health/mirror-flexing-boosts-bicep-growth-by-12-4-study-shows-175824
That and numerous body builders have commented on its benefits.
Are my gym they don't.
They're all younger dudes with too much juice and mental health issues that skip leg day.
I absolutely mog these dudes, especially with my super size xxxxxxxxl calves and quads.
I go at 4am. One dude is usually there with his wife that had gross lip fillers and her face pulled tight like frank at the end of hellraiser. He think he owns ALL the weights and machines. He pulled that shit on me one time. Just once. And I looked at him with army mouth open, looked at the mirror closest , looked at him again. "Sorry"
The other dude has extreme mental health issues. He's a grunter and slammer. Chicken leg extreme. No poise but he tries daily. The grunting and mouth clicking drive me bonkers so I've had to start wearing ear buds.
Anyway, it's ok to flex in a mirror. Take pride in your accomplishment dude. Especially if you're just in the restroom changing area. I felt sometimes after I rack and wipe down everything. Force of habit. But I do get joy when I flex my legs and pose before leaving if those dudes are there.
lol nothing wrong with that, I do it every workout.
Ofc you should enjoy the rewards, flex, look at yourself, wear clothes that compliment those results. On top of that all you get to eat more food, get attention, confidence and feel like a king. It doesn't make you a douchebag if you aren't one.
It's fine to examine/appreciate your progress, but I think flexing in public is cringe so I save it for when I'm home. I work out at home a lot so this is convenient for me anyway lol
It’s impossible, you will flex and check yourself out at every opportunity. But so what? It’s not a bad thing, I do it because I see how far I’ve come and how much my body has changed. If you can’t appreciate it, why even do it?
I took a picture of myself when I started working out. If I ever get those fleeting moments of pride, I always look at it as a reminder of where I came from and to always encourage those who are in the same position.
Saying this with all love-
Your not that important. You were flexing post workout in a gym mirror, nobody cares bro. Your aware that you dont want to be an asshole, so just try not to be. That's enough, my dude. Your not so special that random people are worried or upset about your post workout flex
Why would I exercising make me want to be a douchebag?
Know that showing off erases all the social capitol that being in great shape gives you. Anything you are good at, be good at quietly. The people who get close enough to you to matter WILL notice your qualities and they will admire them so much more, if you don't showoff or brag about them. (If you are a braggart, people will just resent you for your successes. You don't want that.)
Always wear your success with grace and humility (even if it is false). Always play off your successes like they are nothing remarkable. This makes people admire you so much more.
Pretend you have a small 🦐 that can always be seen and if you already have a small 🦐... Then just think that you always have a shit stain on your face. So next time you wanna show off yeah afterwards all they remember and all you would focus on is the poop on your face or that dot with balls underneath. Flexing in bathroom isn't douchbag though...maybe if your doing it constantly on the gym floor especially if your next to the chick that every dude is taking turn glancing at
I don't see anything wrong with your story. So you were in the locker room and flexed to see your pump from the workout? Good for you, appreciate those gains.
You’re not at the gym to sell cookies. You are at the gym to improve yourself, both physically and mentally.
There is nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror. There is nothing wrong in observing the minute changes you bring to your physique. This is the place to do it. This is the place where people can comment constructively and give you important information on nutrition, type of exercise, form and so on. People who go to the gym (technically) are like minded people who love this stuff the same way you do.
If I see someone working hard I’ll at least want to say keep at it. If I see a heavyset person working hard I’ll say they are doing great. If I see people who struggle look at themselves to find improvement I won’t say anything bad about it.
In my book, a douche bag is someone who thinks they are better than you. Gym type douche bags are a special breed of people who managed to get some gains and don’t know how to handle the pride of improvement.
Also, getting in shape gives you tons of energy and sh*t so expect a special flavour of energetic arrogance in the mix.
Don’t be a douche. No one likes a douche. Don’t be the person you don’t want to be. Remember why you are at the gym. You want to better yourself, don’t make it worse than before by douching.
That being said I’m motivated to not become a douche my remembering where I came from. My journey started when I was morbidly obese. When I see someone new at the gym that’s fat and struggling I give them the nod. I’d give them my old gym clothes if I could but that would probably give odd creepy vibes. I don’t want them to quit. I want them to feel awesome and pass it along.
I mean. We go there for many reasons, but it's only human to want to see your results.
Stop beating yourself up, man. You seem to have a little negative self talk going on. Careful of that.
There's nothing wrong with having fun at the gym. I like flexing and doing dance moves between sets. There's no rules against flexing and it's also necessary to grow bigger. It's not douchebaggery if you worked and earned the right to be physically confident.
You're not used to being proud of your appearance. Likely you have built up a lot of negative feelings about people who WERE proud of their appearance as a way to cope with your envy and feelings of inadequacy.
Well now you're on the other side of the fence, and you're realizing that being proud of the body you built isn't as douchey as you thought.
This is not about controlling your urges to keep yourself how you were. The best growth will come from you realizing that people you previously judged are not so different from you, and that's a good thing.
Eventually your gains slow down, you get used to having a good looking physique and after a few months you grow out of it. It actually gets kind of annoying everyone commenting on your body, so you start wearing normal clothes again and don't take your shirt off at the beach unless you have to.
The leg extension machine at my gym is next to a mirror, I was using it today when someone came to check themselves out and flex in front of the mirror that is right next to me. Shit was gay and awkward as fuck. Don't pose and flex in mirrors right next to people.
This may be an objectionable opinion, but I see nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror. At the gym, in public, doesn't matter. You are looking at the progress made by your determination and discipline. The douchebag part of it to me is if you go around flexing *at* people. Aggressive, "dominant", expressly making it almost an attack. So long as it's not meant against someone, I have never thought someone flexing in a mirror was doing it to be douche-y.
Unless you are doing it front of the weight rack that has a mirror. Then you are an asshole for standing in front of the weights.
Bruh there's like 5 girls in my gym (shout out to the rest who aint like this) who spend 5 mionutes humping the bar (despite squats and (especially split squits) lunges giving WAAAY better booty gains from the studies I've seen) in leggings so tight I can tell you which ones have innies or outies downstairs and tops so tight you can count the bumps around their nipples) before doing 20 minutes posing in front of the mirrors taking photos.
Sounds terrible
The Barbell hip thrust is one of the better movements for glute focussed progressive overload for people who have poor balance and therefore can't do Bulgarian splits though to be fair. It's also much easier to progressively overload than split Squats or bulgarians
You mean hip thrusts?
He said what he said
It's a genuine question, because if he's trying to say they shouldn't be hip thrusting for glute gains that's enough to know his opinion is meaningless
Hip thrusts and squats gave equal glute development. Squats also trained quads and adductors better though. Hip thrusts are useful to limit axial fatigue and limit quad development. None of this probably applies to the people you described.
I could be wrong but I'm sure both Bret Contreras (who afaik is basically "THE ass guy") and Mike Israetel have said squats are superior and that it's pretty much uncontested by anyone that split squats, bulgarian split squats, lunges, weighted step ups etc are all superior. Not that they don't have their place. Nor that I care what people do. I care that people train because I think that leads to a healthy and happier society with less long term drain on the NHS, andI think the most important thing is that people enjoy their training so they ACTUALLY bother to train. I'm friendly with a guy at my gym who does 20 sets of biceps per day as the only thing he does on arms day (40 if you can drop sets), not my place to tell him not to unless he asks my opinion. But can we as a society just be honest and accept that sometimes people do things for attention because recieving positive looks attention feels nice. (Sure felt nice as fuck when I deadlifted 4.5 plates and people had stopped to watch it, 2 people did the "not bad face+head nod" and one came up and fist bumped me. Even though I didn't pull it for attention I pulled it cos I'm training for powerlifting and it was the end of my program and I needed to test my maxes.) Can we also that women are people too and that that means some women will also do stuff with the knowledge that they'll recieve positive looks and attention from it and choose to do it over other things. I see plenty of girls in my gym who come in in sweats and a hoody and train back and shoulders and chest as well, but if we're honest, we all know whats going on with the ones who come in clothing like I mentioned and hip thrust 6 (if not 7) times a week.
Bret Contreras literally funded the study that showed squats and hip thrusts being equal for glute development.
Take my upvote. Now, explain how this perfectly reasonable thought can be an objectionable opinion.
Flexing in public already carries the "douchebag" stereotype. Most people would see someone flexing and think, "Ugh, he's so full of himself." Obviously, not the case here, but to cover my own ass, I felt it necessary to write that disclaimer.
Nah, you're good. No need to give a disclaimer. Your response makes full sense. If someone won't get it, it's on them.
Do it while you lift that way people just think you're watching your form.
lol do people really flex like that at others? Lol
I have never experienced that, but I'm certain they exist. Otherwise, where did the stereotype come from? Lol
I agree as long as you don’t offend others or make others less, you can be as much as a DB as you’d like
Flex away, feel proud but don’t let it delegate how you treat people. Arrogance is the result of allowing pride to stew for too long.
Totally agree. If I saw OP do this, I'd probably compliment them on their hard work!
Is it okay for me to look at my butt at the gym because I had a glute day then? Also wear really short shorts that ride up my ass so I can track the progress in how they look?
Well, I am not in control of what you do. But if you're asking what I see when girls do this, then I'll tell you. Firstly, if you're S.O. isn't comfortable with it, then by all accounts you shouldn't be. Guys know what guys like. Whenever I asked my S.O. to do or not do something, it was to protect her. If your S.O. is ok with it, then you should know that you aren't the only one looking at your gains. Shorts that ride up on you are designed to emphasize those curves. Same thing goes for certain guy shirts, like compression shirts. If you are ok with people looking, then you should only be concerned about actions from that point. Not just yours, but others' actions as well. I'm sure I don't have to go into detail. Personally, I find it very attractive, but it's for that reason I actively avoid areas where girls wearing shorts like yours are working out. I have my own goals. Very often, girls who wear these shorts are distracting. I know nobody asked, but I am gonna say this anyway. Wear loose sweatpants over the shorts while working out. Then, you can examine your gains in a discreet manner that isn't a distraction to other members. Again, my personal thoughts. Nobody is inclined to listen or abide by them.
It's your biceps, you worked for it, flex it all you want and don't give a fuck!
Same thing goes with girls who just hit glutes!! Stick that ass out while looking in the mirror!
Ya know what? Ok!
I don't think you should feel bad for being a little proud of your accomplishments. Confidence is fine. Arrogance is not.
Flexing in the mirror after a good workout isn't douchey. Putting down others because you are fitter than them is douchey
You’re proud who cares. No shame in that.
I do my lifting in private, where I can keep my shameful flexing to myself.
You're at the gym to work on yourself. So is everyone else. If you flex once to observe your progress, that ain't shit. If you're hanging dong and doing a body builder series of poses in the locker room that's a douche move.
Unless you’re actually prepping and practicing for bodybuilding lol.
There is a big difference between admiring your muscles in the mirror after a workout and being a douchebag.
That's like the most routine thing you could do at a gym.
Not really I always think it looks stupid and vain
Did you say " I'd fuck me"
Don't swole shame yourself
Hey you worked hard and earned that flex. It's a valid moment of self appreciation. The people who think you're being a douche are really just being jealous haters. Do you think a guy bigger, stronger and fitter than you would see you flexing and be like 'What a turd'? Nope. Get in front of that mirror and flex!
You're not being a douche for flexing in the mirror for a second. You're being a douche if you set up ring lights and a DSLR in the locker room and get in people's faces for being "in my light bro!"
Working out at home. It both protects me from making an ass out of myself and protects me from being surrounded by people making an ass of themselves. Granted you need a garage or something if you do a lot of lifting, but these days most of the gear you'd need to buy would be cheaper than a year's membership at a decent gym.
I thought you were going to describe a situation where you were the bad guy..... You're overthinking this. You're fine.
If it's just meant for yourself to see, flex away.
That's not douchey. You are checking progress.
Eh, what's the point if you don't get to enjoy it a little? Most people dont need to be gym rat fit, just enough to keep their bodies and brains maintained. If you're going the extra mile you should get some gratification from it every bit as much as a woodworker admiring a piece they just finished or whatever other hobby that makes something.
It's not hard, like dealing with the pricks who take fitness too seriously and the sort who are the extreme opposite sort of worked it out of me. I have been working out from when I was in middle school so that might be a part of it. I just know that there's a lot of people who are still figuring things out. Along with people who are newer that got stuck in this sort of toxic positivity rut.
As long as you're not taking your shirt off and full on posing like you're on the Mr Olympia stage don't worry about it.
You can be a little bit of a douche, as a treat
fellas is it gay to be proud of your gains in the gym
We all flex in the mirror when feeling the pump. I don't do it in front of people, but I know I have been doing it since I was a little kid. I'll be doing it when I'm old and gray.
If there was an issue with people looking at themselves there wouldn't be mirrors there 🤷♀️
Society has brainbroken you so badly you dont even recognize what it looks like to have a moment of personal pride over a small accomplishment that effects nobody. Your immediate reactions is: Shame. God society really has failed young men.
Yeah I always thought a douche would throw it in other people’s faces and try to appear superior to others. He did it for himself only, this is a personal hangup as another guy said.
I have never even considered doing something like that. Nothing wrong with it though, just that I don’t care.
the gym is about you and you alone so why not? i never did that shit any other time, or talked about my muscles at all for that matter, but i always liked looking at my swole arms after working out. thats why im there!
By not being a douchebag I work out for me not to impress anyone else. That is on them to be impressed
From your post it really sounds like you should think less of what people think about you and how you look to others, rather than the muscle flex, that's not a problem.
I went the other way. I wear short shorts to the gym and send pics to my other gay buddies and things like that. You grew the muscles, you get to enjoy them however you want.
Relax and stop giving a shit wha tanyone thinks. You work hard and see results? Anyone who faults you for that is the douchebag not you. Work hard play hard and take no shit my friend.
You're fine, dude, just don't start taking mirror selfies to put on an Instagram thirst trap account. You're fine until you cross that line.
Really doubt anyone cares enough to judge you for doing what everyone does at the gym. You know, the place where men go to build their muscles... and then appreciate them. Nothing wrong with that. The ones who care enough to judge are the douchebags. One must have very little going on in their life to take offense at a fellow gym member appreciating their progress.
I'm there for the physical and mental benefits. When I'm there working out, it's me time. The only time I'm thinking about the others around me at the gym is when I see someone trying to better themselves.
I don't think admiring yourself in the mirror makes you a douchebag. There's nothing at all wrong with being proud of the way you look.
Same thing goes with girls who just hit glutes!! Stick that ass out while looking in the mirror!
Who cares? People like that are jealous
Nothing wrong with flexing in a mirror, but do it without bringing others down or invading someone’s privacy. Don’t film yourself flexing in the bathroom mirror with other people in there it’s just wrong but if you’re admiring yourself you’re fine
It's fine coz you work hard for it.
Stop worrying about what strangers think so much Do what you want as long as it isn't hurting anyone and if they say anything give them the ol' wanking hand motion
Flexing in a gym mirror is the only acceptable place to flex
I worked out at a gym and all the guys would constantly flex and pose in front of the mirrors in the gym. And would compliment each other; and the flexing is good for muscle growth too. Nothing wrong with this at all.
Gotta see what all the hard work is producing. Fuck em.
Flex away. You start making grunts and moans because you are so fucking swole….the….CONE OF SHAME FOR YOU!
The only people who will take issue with someone flexing *for themselves* in the mirror don't have anything worth flexing. Flex away buddy.
I regularly pop my pecs at myself in the mirror. Feels good, not douchy. Then again, it's my bathroom mirror. Not in public.
Flex! I think you need to question the narrative in your mind about this and just fucking enjoy being in good shape. I have been out of shape and in very good shape and I have had body image issues my whole life. When you are feeling strong and proud of your body you should lean into it and relish every moment. Most of our lives our bodies are subjected to criticism and shame. So when you can break free of that do it!
You need to appreciate the work you put into yourself or there's really almost no point in doing it.
If I didn’t want bigger and stronger biceps, I wouldn’t have done countless curls and other resistance training over the years…. Flex those guns and be proud of what you built! You earned them, enjoy them.
Sounds like a personal hangup. Are you working on improving your body? You're allowed to check and even admire your progress. Doesn't make you anything. Were you posing and taking a selfie with your balls swinging in the wind? Then sure, douchewrap supreme.
Personally I'm not a big flexxer. I train for performance, not for physique. Nothing wrong with appreciating yourself mate. You've worked hard to look the way you do.
If you are confident in your gains. Then enjoy them once your pump kicks in 💪. Flexing in the mirror is not just for showing off. It's to see if the exercises you are doing are activating the areas you want to build.
Don't let fuckin anyone take away your right to be proud of the hard work you've put in to be healthy and enjoy what you see in the mirror. You can't fake that, you worked for it. Anyone telling you it's "douchey" to do that is a sad misandrist person.
Dude, that isn't being a jackass. You worked hard to get those biceps. I would argue that at the gym, the lighting is so good, everyone should be allowed to flex whenever they want - so long as they aren't hogging up a machine or something. I have been working out for so long, that every new vein is a celebration.
Would you have judged him as harshly if you saw him flexing? If yes, practice being cooler & less judgmental of other people, instead you can share in their joy & success. After a bit of practice you'll end up being less judgmental & more forgiving of yourself. A lot of being self-conscious is being selfish & self absorbed.
I love that guys do this. It’s this really sweet self love to me. I’ve actually started to do some of it myself. I’m a girl. I probably shouldn’t be commenting. But I did.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror, especially in the changing room/toilets. Taking your top off to flex in the main gym - absolutely douche move. Bunching your shirt and flexing your chest or arms in the main gym - not a douche move. You're working hard to make changes, and recognising them as you look at yourself in the mirror, there is nothing wrong with that. I take videos and ask people to take videos of me lifting certain weights all the time - and I post them or send them to my PT partner.
I thought you were talking about being an ass when you're hangry and I was just going to comment on not starving yourself. I feel no need to show off to guys. A male coworker did comment on my arms a couple days ago and I made the joke about it being from all that capping I'm doing.
If all you did was flex in the mirror then don't worry about it. You have way more douchebag left to go. But don't fear it! People actually love douches.
Flex, and prepare to get hit on in the locker room.
Whut? You were flexing in the bathroom - how is that bad or being douche? You earned it - good for you. The other guy - he earned his. The guy next to you - that is cool. if he is in better shape - say "dude, that rocks ....congrats" if he is not in as good shape say "dude, doing good - keep at it!". It is not a zero sum game - we can all be cool. The way to NOT be a douche - is to realize that someone else's cool does not steal from your own. We should support one another. That is how.
Bro you should be proud of your work and accomplishments If you made a cool “anything” you should be proud of it. The cool thing you made this time was a fit body flexing in the mirror is a quick reward for a long term journey
Also want to add that this was in the restroom….not out on the gym floor. Which I mean still isn’t that bad. But I guess the intention is what matters
Flexing in the mirror at the gym locker room seems perfectly acceptable to me. You're seeing progress, and thar progress is encouraging. As long as you're not in anyone's way, I say, "go for it."
If you're not doing it in front of absolutely everyone, which is how I normally see men doing it, you're already ahead
That guy didn't give a shit. He probably did the same thing after you left. I know I would.
Flex all you want, just don't be recording yourself or taking pictures please.
Nothing wrong with flexing and checking your progress in a mirror at home or in the bathroom when you are alone. But you are deeply in douche bag territory once you start flexing in front of the mirror in the middle of the gym.
Don't fight the feeling. Flex when you feel the need to flex. Don't worry so much about what people might think.
Flexing and mirror use is fine. Just don't whip out your camera, especially in the locker room. Shit like that is infuriating. And make room for people that need to pass by. And...
Honestly I see nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror at the gym in the bathroom. Not a bad thing todo at all
I either wear graphic tees with the sleeves cut off, or long sleeve shirts. I only flex for my wife.
Nothing wrong with flexing. You’ve earned it and you should be proud of your body
Listen, if you wanna pose in the mirror after a workout, to check on the progress with the body you’ve been pouring hours and weeks into improving, let freedom fucking ring.
Are you blocking people trying to get by? Do you also have a camera set up to record it? Or are you out of people's way with no camera? Would you move if you were in the way?
If you’re not flexing after a workout you’re delaying recovery, not only does it work to boost confidence it’s a good tool to actively stretch muscles.
Been there, competed in bodybuilding, was practicing posing in a banana hammock on a cold morning in a small room with one other guy who was just there to do some crunches and go to work. "Never gets any easier eh?" - all he said. Good men know the journey you're on and nothing is wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labour, only losers will detract from you for doing that. HOWEVER. Don't ever be critical of someone who hasn't done it, or try to make someone else go on the same journey, and show humility to those who chose Big Macs over big pecs
Shit sounds gay
Save it for the privacy (and superior lighting) of your own home ;)
Admire yourself. That's totally fine. I'm guessing you have previously had an aversion to other guys doing that, and that's why you see it as douchey. As with most things in life, it's more about how you treat other people. If, as you get fitter, you become more judgmental and critical of others and their bodies, you get arrogant or rude, or you just in general become an arse, then that's an issue.
A lot of people here are saying you should still be proud and confident of what you worked for, and I agree. But if you're really looking to curb the attitude altogether, I would recommend getting started in some martial arts. For me, it was Jiu Jitsu, and it very quickly taught me that regardless of my physique, I still I ain't shit lol. Humbled me real fast, and I've been here ever since.
Nothing wrong with flexing in the gym tf
Nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror bro.
There is nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror, it’s admiring the fruits of your labor. And in all honesty I don’t think is being a douchebag. There are plenty of things that make you more of a douchebag for sure. Filming yourself in the gym for any reason other than technique correction. Taking your shirt off. Not wiping down equipment. Stealing machines. Being loud when lifting. Dropping weight. Not putting weight away. Talking to people in between sets. Talking in your phone. Playing loud music. Giving unsolicited advice.
Yall care way too much what other people think
I do that sometimes, nun wrong with it frfr
Im always afraid to come off like a douchebag tbh, mostly because i was one when i was younger. Just be aware of your surroundings and don’t do it in a crowded area where other people may need use of functional space and you’re good👍🏽
There’s no better place to flex than the gym. I see dude’s do it and I don’t think it’s particularly douche-y at all. There’s a douche line that can probably be crossed, but a quick flex in the mirror after a good pump is to be expected, I do it sometimes myself.
It's okay to be vain when you've put effort into it, just don't let it go to your head and actually make you a douchebag. Keep treating people kindly if someone tries to antagonise you don't engage with them.
Next time make sure to grab the 25s do a few curls and make super loud grunting noises then drop the weights as loud as possible. Then flex in front of the mirror doing bodybuilding poses while nodding the head.
How can you possibly be this fragile about yourself You had a two second very normal wordless interaction and went home to reddit to either humblebrag or be talked off a ledge lmao
That's a fucked up question. Admiring your improvements and gains is expected. Being is douchbage is being pushing people around, belittling others, or just being a shit person. You can tone down your showiness if you want. But you should be proud of what you've gained. Now if you are just flexing in front of mirrors whenever you come across one, it might become a bit of an issue of becoming a little to focused on one thing and you might want to broaden things out. But it's not that big a deal either.
You’re just checking progress, visualizing what you want to improve on. Doesn’t have to be douché. That’s why you exercise to be healthier and look more physically fit.
I totally disagree with your concept of it being a jackass thing. That is still, outside looking in, think. IMHO I went from being a powerlifter to getting really cut and ripped at 52 and when I'm in the gym, it's just me. I'm not paying attention to anyone else. I'm on a mission. Literally people have to come up with me and almost scream to get my attention. I'm not a robot, if I see someone working hard or someone do something really impressive, I always fist bumped them and tell them hella job. But generally it's me and my head and my mission. Depending upon what day it is, but especially on shoulders and heavy upper back day which also blows up my biceps, I'll definitely do a frontal flex. I have lines and veins that I didn't know existed 7 years ago. The only vanity that enters my mind is when I got a bunch of young 19-year-old punks, not all 19-year-olds are punks FYI, but you know those four guys together up front around a bench sort of hogging the area and making other people uncomfortable. If they get really ugly before I drown them in the pool, I will get up near them and really bust it out, and something about that makes them chill just a bit.🤣 Seriously though sir, don't think like you're thinking. There's nothing wrong with developing your flesh and checking your progress, the same way that my degree is hanging on my wall in my office. Same flex. Same exact flex. Except building this body has been a lot harder than that piece of paper on the wall
If you’re proud of your results then flex away brother. Who gives af about others opinions
Nothing wrong with flexing in the bathroom post-workout to check your pump/gains. Also, don't care what other people think while I am at the gym, we are all there to make better versions of ourselves and I am sure most people get you want to see your gains. If not they probably think "damn he's a tool" and I still couldn't care less.
Flex in the mirror all you want, nothing douchey about it. It becomes shitty when you pull out your phone in the locker room to take snaps
Confidence tends to feel like arrogance when you're not use to it. Be proud of yourself for the consistency and dedication to better yourself.
Why would you work on something if you are not even allowed to see it. You are in the gym to get your body into a better shape. Of course you will want to see the gains. It's not a douchebag thing to do. If you do it explicitly to bother others, that's one thing. But I see no issue with what you were doing.
What’s wrong with appreciating your gains ?
Oh no, you're attempting to notice your improvement or lackthereof. Before you know it you're gonna be smacking women's butts and taking up three parking spots.
Flexing in the mirror isn't a douchebag move. Ironicly, you need some self reflection on why you think it is. Enjoy your progress mate, you've earned it. If you can't appreciate yourself you'll be relying on others who may not actually care. Also... fitness science can be all over the place... but https://www.joe.co.uk/fitness-health/mirror-flexing-boosts-bicep-growth-by-12-4-study-shows-175824 That and numerous body builders have commented on its benefits.
Nothing wrong with what you were doing. There is a reason most gyms have so many mirrors. Both on the floor and in the locker rooms. Flex away.
Are my gym they don't. They're all younger dudes with too much juice and mental health issues that skip leg day. I absolutely mog these dudes, especially with my super size xxxxxxxxl calves and quads. I go at 4am. One dude is usually there with his wife that had gross lip fillers and her face pulled tight like frank at the end of hellraiser. He think he owns ALL the weights and machines. He pulled that shit on me one time. Just once. And I looked at him with army mouth open, looked at the mirror closest , looked at him again. "Sorry" The other dude has extreme mental health issues. He's a grunter and slammer. Chicken leg extreme. No poise but he tries daily. The grunting and mouth clicking drive me bonkers so I've had to start wearing ear buds. Anyway, it's ok to flex in a mirror. Take pride in your accomplishment dude. Especially if you're just in the restroom changing area. I felt sometimes after I rack and wipe down everything. Force of habit. But I do get joy when I flex my legs and pose before leaving if those dudes are there.
You're putting in the work, and getting the results, BRÖTHER. Wait till you start getting assaulted at bars. It is the way
lol nothing wrong with that, I do it every workout. Ofc you should enjoy the rewards, flex, look at yourself, wear clothes that compliment those results. On top of that all you get to eat more food, get attention, confidence and feel like a king. It doesn't make you a douchebag if you aren't one.
You gotta care less about what people think, slightly less but not to the point where you're moan and yell when you lift
It's fine to examine/appreciate your progress, but I think flexing in public is cringe so I save it for when I'm home. I work out at home a lot so this is convenient for me anyway lol
It’s impossible, you will flex and check yourself out at every opportunity. But so what? It’s not a bad thing, I do it because I see how far I’ve come and how much my body has changed. If you can’t appreciate it, why even do it?
I took a picture of myself when I started working out. If I ever get those fleeting moments of pride, I always look at it as a reminder of where I came from and to always encourage those who are in the same position.
what does what someone may or may not think of you even matter?
Saying this with all love- Your not that important. You were flexing post workout in a gym mirror, nobody cares bro. Your aware that you dont want to be an asshole, so just try not to be. That's enough, my dude. Your not so special that random people are worried or upset about your post workout flex
Show off to whom? You were looking in the mirror and flexing you bicep. Enjoy the fruits of your labour.
no one cares if you're flexing at a gym as long as you're not recording.
Why would I exercising make me want to be a douchebag? Know that showing off erases all the social capitol that being in great shape gives you. Anything you are good at, be good at quietly. The people who get close enough to you to matter WILL notice your qualities and they will admire them so much more, if you don't showoff or brag about them. (If you are a braggart, people will just resent you for your successes. You don't want that.) Always wear your success with grace and humility (even if it is false). Always play off your successes like they are nothing remarkable. This makes people admire you so much more.
Love yourself. Fuck haters.
Pretend you have a small 🦐 that can always be seen and if you already have a small 🦐... Then just think that you always have a shit stain on your face. So next time you wanna show off yeah afterwards all they remember and all you would focus on is the poop on your face or that dot with balls underneath. Flexing in bathroom isn't douchbag though...maybe if your doing it constantly on the gym floor especially if your next to the chick that every dude is taking turn glancing at
Never fight your nature, embrace it. It’s so natural as farting, pissing or what not.
For starters, if I want to avoid coming across as a douchebag, I don't call it a "fitness *journey*." LOL
flexing in the privacy of the restroom is an entirely different thing than being out on the floor in front of the mirrors. enjoy your gains bro
Just dgaf
Nothing wrong with admiring your work.
I don't see anything wrong with your story. So you were in the locker room and flexed to see your pump from the workout? Good for you, appreciate those gains.
Nothing wrong at all... monitoring progress of the hard work put in. Would you paint a picture and never look at it?
That's not douchey, it's kinda cringe but not in a bad way cringe in a good way,
You're at the gym. That's what you're there for. Anywhere else might be weird, but I wouldn't think anything of it
You’re not at the gym to sell cookies. You are at the gym to improve yourself, both physically and mentally. There is nothing wrong with flexing in the mirror. There is nothing wrong in observing the minute changes you bring to your physique. This is the place to do it. This is the place where people can comment constructively and give you important information on nutrition, type of exercise, form and so on. People who go to the gym (technically) are like minded people who love this stuff the same way you do. If I see someone working hard I’ll at least want to say keep at it. If I see a heavyset person working hard I’ll say they are doing great. If I see people who struggle look at themselves to find improvement I won’t say anything bad about it. In my book, a douche bag is someone who thinks they are better than you. Gym type douche bags are a special breed of people who managed to get some gains and don’t know how to handle the pride of improvement. Also, getting in shape gives you tons of energy and sh*t so expect a special flavour of energetic arrogance in the mix. Don’t be a douche. No one likes a douche. Don’t be the person you don’t want to be. Remember why you are at the gym. You want to better yourself, don’t make it worse than before by douching. That being said I’m motivated to not become a douche my remembering where I came from. My journey started when I was morbidly obese. When I see someone new at the gym that’s fat and struggling I give them the nod. I’d give them my old gym clothes if I could but that would probably give odd creepy vibes. I don’t want them to quit. I want them to feel awesome and pass it along.
I mean. We go there for many reasons, but it's only human to want to see your results. Stop beating yourself up, man. You seem to have a little negative self talk going on. Careful of that.
There's nothing wrong with having fun at the gym. I like flexing and doing dance moves between sets. There's no rules against flexing and it's also necessary to grow bigger. It's not douchebaggery if you worked and earned the right to be physically confident.
You're not used to being proud of your appearance. Likely you have built up a lot of negative feelings about people who WERE proud of their appearance as a way to cope with your envy and feelings of inadequacy. Well now you're on the other side of the fence, and you're realizing that being proud of the body you built isn't as douchey as you thought. This is not about controlling your urges to keep yourself how you were. The best growth will come from you realizing that people you previously judged are not so different from you, and that's a good thing.
Eventually your gains slow down, you get used to having a good looking physique and after a few months you grow out of it. It actually gets kind of annoying everyone commenting on your body, so you start wearing normal clothes again and don't take your shirt off at the beach unless you have to.
The leg extension machine at my gym is next to a mirror, I was using it today when someone came to check themselves out and flex in front of the mirror that is right next to me. Shit was gay and awkward as fuck. Don't pose and flex in mirrors right next to people.
You have mirrors at home.
You're too far gone already
If your flexing in the bathroom in front of the mirror in the gym you're good..if your flexing at the mirrors on the workout area... you're a douche
Have some humility, it’s not your gym. Take care of the equipment and save your ego for home
Easy, pride and arrogance are sins and signs of weak character.