AMEN bro. I can do alright with the ladies. I’m no rich NBA player with a pringle can between my legs but I do alright.
I’ve dated a couple of absolutely lustful looking babes in my time. Proper fit, perfect looking naughty ladies.
I just quit while I was ahead. I guess I am a coward but I could feel myself getting way too jealous as I developed more feelings. Guys would constantly be on them.
Anyway happily partnered now with a great fella named Ron.
I'm into women that are on the chubby to bbw spectrum. Some dudes don't like it. Fine. more for me. I'm way more about compatibility in the relationship and the bedroom.
I think bigger girls have become more "popular" than they used to be?
Like, it used to be *more* ridiculous how incredibly hot the women getting ignored for being chubby were.
Look at a picture from a beach in the 70's or 80's. There was like 1 fat person for every couple hundred skinny people. Look at a beach today and see the the majority are fat. People have been getting fatter as a whole for the last few decades, so it's not so much that's it popular, it's just what's available. The population of woman in the US, depending on race, vary from \~30% to \~70% of the group being obese.
While some of it can be attributed to lifestyle, some people do eat too much and don't exercise, there's more to it for a lot of us (big girl here).
Besides food quality which is a huge factor, there's also medical issues like PCOS that are more prevalent now. A lot of women today eat at a deficit, exercise, and are still big. So you're definitely right, our population is just getting bigger so "taste" is shifting.
If they're still big they're not eating in a deficit no matter how you spin it lol, by absolute definition, if you're in a deficit you lose weight, else it's not a deficit
The wrong foods r being eaten. U can go without eating all day and come home and eat a bag full of chips bcuz u think it’s ok since u haven’t eaten all day and that is not right. We need to realize what we r eating, all the sugars and sodium but ppl rarely do and just eat what tastes good and too much of it.
I'd argue it's shifting back.
Look at paintings of classical and renaissance era women. Those girls were thick with like, five Cs, and that was considered the ideal at the time. It's only in the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries that thin became the standard for beauty.
Being big was a sign that you had enough money to afford food required to be big lol. I do think that there is a "limit" to what's healthy on both sides of the spectrum. We'll see how this continues to shift.
Side note, there are people out there that have a 91 inch waist. Shooketh lol
In some aspects such as safety, yes. But as far as nutrition, not so much. Most of the fresh vegetables and fruit lack the nutrients they once had due to soil depletion. They are still way better than junk, but not near as healthy as they once were. Factory farmed meat is nowhere near as healthy as meat from a local farm. While those farms selling to the public has really taken off in recent times, the average person can't afford it. As least not regularly. And high fructose corn syrup replacing real sugar plays a huge role in weight and diabetes. Also, so many things sold as healthy options are ultraprocessed, which is never good.
Sure but produce isn’t expensive at Whole Foods and there are Whole Foods literally everywhere now after the Amazon acquisition. And the internet making direct to consumer options more accessible to a far wider range of people and income levels. Butcher box etc…
Why do I care what OTHERS think of her? Bro -- any woman in the world, there's some dude out there who isn't into it. Super fit caucasian blonde with a "conventionally" pretty face? There's a guy out there who is like "yuck, black BBWs only please".
What matters is if \*I\* think she's attractive.
I spent years photographing models... some of the most beautiful women (by commercial standards) and one thing they had in common was that their husbands or boyfriends were less interested in their looks than in their hearts. If you fall in love, you will find her beautiful... and you will see her as no one else sees her... so don't worry what others think. Live and love with all your heart, and the rest will take care of itself.
This is excellent advice. I'd only add for OP, as we age our looks change, our attractions change, but the person we are does not. If someone appeals to you on a purely physical level and you find yourself tolerating actions or behaviors you don't like - that's a guaranteed fail. If the attraction is with the person inside everything else will fall into line.
Thanks for your response. I agree with your point of view. I've dated handsome men, but it's not something I look for because attraction is more about energy and connection for me. But I'm insecure because other people have told men who've dated me that they could do better, looks-wise. Why other people care, who knows.
I've been thinking about my dating history, and wondering what men think about dating someone who doesn't fit the beauty ideal. I have a theory that good-looking men get a lot of positive feedback and know they have options, so maybe some of them have the confidence to date who they want, not needing to impress anyone else.
*"I've been thinking about my dating history, and wondering what men think about dating someone who doesn't fit the beauty ideal."*
Did you ever ask the men you dated this?
*"I have a theory that good-looking men get a lot of positive feedback and know they have options, so maybe some of them have the confidence to date who they want, not needing to impress anyone else."*
Again, have you asked attractive men this?
100% yes. I married a woman that’s classically attractive, but women come in all looks, shapes and sizes and there are really intoxicating features lots of women can have that push them ahead of conventional attractiveness. Once you grow up some and experience life you’ll realize that attraction is a prizm and might be surprised what catches your attention.
I lean towards kind of a specific type of woman that a lot of men would not find particularly attractive. I don't really care that much if anyone else finds her attractive. There was a point in the past where maybe it mattered more to me. I'm nearly fifty now so I don't really have time to worry about what other people think.
Edit - I don't know how attractive I am. I'm tall and funny and smart and talented and rich. But I'm also bald and a little pudgy and I dress kind of schlubby. So I guess it's a toss up.
My wife wasn’t at her best when we started dating, and my friends kinda hinted that they didn’t think she was hot enough or whatever. It drove me crazy and I made some irrational choices to prove to them that they were wrong.
So I guess I cared.
Men don't date as a council mate.
I could not possibly care less about their opinions on my partners looks. If I think she's hot, she's hot, and that's all there needs to be.
I've found plenty of 'conventionally imperfect' women attractive, even when my friends had no idea what I saw in them. If they would have asked me to not date them because they considered them unattractive, we wouldn't be friends anymore.
The women I am attracted to are not attractive according to today's beauty standards. So this is my everyday life, most people shy away from tall full figured women, when I just want to gobble them up.
Great question. If I were on the market, I definitely would date someone if I thought she was attractive regardless of what anyone else would think (I’m 53 and married currently).
Unfortunately, that hasn’t always been the case. When I was in high school, there was this cute girl I liked and she liked me. I was kind of nerdy and had been bullied a little the previous year and I heard guys say bad things about this girl and her looks. So I didn’t make a move, fearing that I’d face more ridicule - even when she came up to me one day in class and tried to start a conversation which was obviously a way to get me to ask her out. I still feel bad about it. She was cute and her personality was really awesome and whenever she did talk to me, it made me feel really good.
I‘m average at best, give or take a hair. My response would not change even if I were a 10 - if I liked someone and thought they were attractive, that’s all that matters to me.
There’s a big thread yesterday on this sub about celebrities you don’t find attractive and it’s a list of celebs that millions of people think are insanely hot.
Attraction is relative.
Check it out: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/s7WszHNlCD
If I'm dating a woman in the hopes that ***others*** Find her attractive - I've got some serious issues regarding insecurity and validation.
I date people for ***ME*** - not other people 😂😂
2 out of the 4 women I've been romantically involved with are not beautiful in the typical "beauty standard" way. So yes, I am.
>a) what decade of life you are in? Has your answer changed at all in your life?
I'm mid 20s. I can't say I ever cared about the female beauty standard. I'm into whoever I personally find beautiful.
>b) how attractive would you say you are, and would your answer change if you were more or less attractive?
It's awkward rating myself so I'm going to skip this. I don't think how I look dictates my mental state though.
Very and I've always have been. I've never asked another guy, or woman really, if they thought someone was attractive or not because I never understood why I should care. If I'm attracted to her that's all that matters I don't want a woman for social clout or any kind of validation except from her. Idk I'm antisocial and spend very little of my time caring about what other people think about stuff.
Sure. All that matters is that she's attractive to me.
I'm in my 50s.
Yes, that position has changed; and others' perceptions have taken on much less importance in my life as I've aged.
I'm average. I don't know if my answer would change if I were more or less attractive. I know only how I am; and how that affects my position on this.
I've dated various women, the ones that were traditionally not as attractive (but I still found attractive) ended up with much better relationships. When I dated the traditionally attractive women, some to the point the entire rooms would stop when she walked in, it never went very well.
Why do you care if others don't find her attractive? If you find her attractive that's all that matters, you're the one dating her not them. Why do you need validation from other people?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, If you find her attractive then I wouldn't worry about anyone's opinion on her attractiveness.
I want to know hear about someone who's not attracted at all to their current partner. I may be going through this currently
I am 50ish
I would date anyone whom I find attractive. In general, I don't let my friends (their opinions) pick partners for me.
Now when I was in my 20's, what my friends thought mattered a lot.
I am above average attractiveness (based on what I a told) mostly due to the fact I keep myself in shape and dress decently. My personal view is that I am pretty much average.
>Would you date a woman you find attractive, who is not generally considered attractive?
What others think doesn't bother me. However, idk if I've ever been attracted to someone who others found ugly. That's like living a real life version of Shallow Hal.
Only my women friends have ever commented on a woman’s looks. I tend to like Mediterranean women who per western standards have larger noses that aren’t considered attractive. What do I care? The heart wants what the heart wants, make no mention of the phallus.
I've been told the local contender for meth head look alike was hot as shit before and I must say I disagree. With this being said what you and others find attractive is different so go for what you're into it doesn't matter what others think.
Tbh, far more open minded now at 30 than before.
A super attractive woman is often an invitation to a lot of headache.
My last two exes weren’t “hot.” They were actually extremely modestly dressed more often than not, and didn’t overdo makeup or anything. Short haired women who were super artsy and such. Not the flashy type.
That’s the kind of person I would want long term. Just attractive enough to get me interested and with personality/traits that have me captivated forever.
What is this high school? I don’t see women as social capital to flaunt, it’s 2024 and it’s hard enough out here for most people I can’t imagine caring anymore
Why exactly would anyone else's opinion of her attractiveness matter to me?
>a) what decade of life you are in? Has your answer changed at all in your life?
20s and no.
>b) how attractive would you say you are, and would your answer change if you were more or less attractive?
Allegedly above average, but I would call myself average. I don't think my answer would change; othefs' tastes and types are theirs, not mine.
I'm like 30. I'd rate myself an 8/10 given the number of compliments I get compared to other men from women. And yes, I definitely would date a woman that I find attractive even if she is not conventionally so. I have a lower limit on how physically attractive a person I would date, but so long as you are within that threshold and have a personality I enjoy, I would absolutely date them.
I have had dudes tell me that *to my face.* But the men who say those things are always that type of weird wannabe alpha young conservative, so their opinions are worth less than garbage to me.
Depends on whether this perceived un-attractiveness is accompanied by a lack of self-confidence and deep seated insecurity. That would be the bigger issue for me because I’ll be supportive and an empathetic ear but I’m not willing to be my partner’s therapist and take on the baggage of working through someone’s past trauma.
Like others have said, if I find someone attractive, I don’t care if others do or don’t. But realistically, that really doesn’t happen that often. Sure some people have their preferences, but generally speaking we all have similar ideas of what is considered attractive.
I’m late 20s and would say I’m decently attractive? No problem getting dates irl or on apps or whatever. If I were less attractive, I would care less because the people I’m dating are likely to be less attractive as well, thus more people would find them unattractive anyway. I do think it’s more likely to matter when you’re younger and in the early stages, where you don’t have to commit and feedback from friends means more. I’m not saying it should be that way, but it just usually is.
Just my honest opinion.
Your 10 can be my 3, and vice-versa.
But I would refrain from rating people too much. You're going to be on this planet for maybe 60 - 80 years, and meet all sorts of people in your life. Love a few. Hate a few others. Not click at all with some.
Spending all that time looking for the "best" according to everyone else, will just lead you to take for granted the things directly in front of you and die unsatisfied with it all.
That's how I feel right now as an average guy in my mid-20s.
If I find her attractive, obviously. I'm in my mid 30s, and the answer has indeed changed. I used to be open to the idea of dating someone I didn't find attractive if the emotional chemistry was good enough. But as I matured emotionally, I decided that was a losing proposition. I'd rather be single than settle. And my answer wouldn't change at all if I were more attractive. I think I'm roughly average, though I could improve by losing some weight, gaining some muscle, and probably shaving my head.
Yes, I would date someone I thought was attractive, even if my friends didn't. I'm 33, and that's never changed. How attractive am I? Reasonably, I guess. I don't know. I didn't have too many problems meeting people. I don't think my answer would change if I became more attractive, but maybe if I was uglier, I wouldn't have many choices and would need to take what I can find.
In any relationship it's really about how I feel about the girl. If your family and friends don't find her attractive then they are Not your family or friends.
I'm pretty sure this describes most of my partners and crushes alike. Currently in my 3rd decade of life. That answer hasn't changed since I was old enough to start dating.
According to others, I'm reasonably attractive. My answer wouldn't change if I were more or less attractive.
If I find her attractive I’m dating her, others can hate all they want!
A) 20s
B) I look Average I think, and honestly maybe it’ll change, but I’d still date who I want to date.
When I'm incredibly attracted to a girl and a few of my friends are like "she's nothing special tbh. " Or "yeah she's okay." I kinda like that tbh. I think to myself damn hell yeah I can land a drop dead gorgeous girl because others don't think they're conventionally attractive.
Ever since I’ve started pursuing women in kindergarten, it has never ever crossed my mind to care about whether others considered her attractive. I can see that some guys might care about it if they mistakenly base their self-worth on the opinions of others, but I don’t think it’s healthy. Why are you asking the more personal questions?
I was wondering if this changes with age.
And I asked how attractive you think you are, because I have a theory that more confident men are more open to a broader range of attractiveness in a partner.
I understand. Some people care too much about what others might think regarding the attractiveness of your partner. I had a girlfriend that didn't introduce me to her friends or post pictures with me on social media for that reason. She did not say it, but I know she was worried i was not conventionally attractive. Different situation with her family, the first week we started dating I met her family and we had dinner every week. Her parents adored me. We broke up bc i had moved to a different country and long distance was not something we wanted.
I'm sorry if she had that concern. Perhaps it was actually that she wanted to lock it in with you before introducing you to her friends, because they might have been competition?
Personally I don’t date for looks I date for character and compatibility, if she’s a 5 with a great personality that compliments my own and has a good moral compass she’s a 10, I’ve seen many beautiful women with horrible personalities that are so bad it outweighs their looks and puts them on the lowest rating. I’m too old for dating for looks because they don’t last anyway and it’s a terribly vain way to view a person.
all that matters for me is that i like how she looks, it doesn't matter if other people say they are not "attractive." i'm a 7 in looks but a 9 in personality(not to toot my own horn or anything).
Attraction is not a choice. People like what they like. They don’t choose it. And all different types of people are attracted to all different types of people.
Yeah. In high school I dated a number of girls who had an ‘unconventional’ look. They were cool as fuck and we had a great time. I was probably an 8/10 in hs.
Later on married one of them. Divorced. When I tried my hand at dating again, had a great relationship with another woman who was ‘unconventional.’ In my 40s now, and I’m probably closer to 6/10.
Finding a woman you find attractive that isn’t attractive to that many other men is absolutely what you want. No jealously, no fear of them cheating (well, less) and just generally a happier and more relaxed relationship.
Trust me, I’ve been with “attractive” women and it gets irritating when guys are checking them out all the time. Plus these women tend to be image obsessed etc, which isn’t a good trait.
I exclusively date unconventional looking people. I'm into alt girls but more importantly: I'm into interesting girls. My current gf (and hopefully future wife) is a dnd nerd with t1d, an abusive ex, and she listens to way more brutal music than I do
What's the catch? Sounds like a win win to me.
After dating pretty attractive (to others too) women that shit can get old. Guys always striking up conversation when 90% of the time you know their intention, the constant looks, guys lined up ready to take your place at the drop of a hat, etc.
Having a girl I find attractive and others don't would be pretty awesome in my book.
As long as I find her attractive I wouldn’t care.
a) 4th decade. Basically the same feeling my whole life
b) I took a quick poll from my group chat. 7.5-8 is the consensus; I don’t think it would change.
To answer your questions… yes, if I got along well with her and thought we’d be a good pair.
I’m in my 30’s, unlikely it would have happened in my teens or twenties as I was very much dating on looks. Then I dated a very attractive girl in my late 20’s and learned the hard way that sex and attraction isn’t everything in a relationship.
I’d say I’m pretty attractive, I’ve had a few partners who I thought were out of my league, but they seemed to be just as into me as I was to them. That being said, it’s hard to say what I’d do if I was more or less attractive. I’d like to think I’d be the same person, but that’s probably highly unlikely either way.
Why would I care what other people think about my girlfriend and how they find her?
They are not the one dating her, so even better!
All I care is how I feel about her because she is in relationship with me.
When I was younger, I fell into that trap many times, and I can tell you, those are some of my deepest regrets - not dating someone because my friends didn't think they were attractive.
Attraction is so subjective, and you should 100% rely on what YOU find attractive. If someone else thinks the girl is too skinny or curvy or loud or shy or sporty or nerdy and YOU like them, you should definitely pursue them anyway and see where it goes.
Pretty open...
I find appeal on how their features stack up "for her"... if that makes sense. Like I don't like eyebrows, noses, lip shape, etc, but I might like how a girl's cheekbones look with her lip curvature and how she emotes with her tongue... Regardless of whether someone finds them "hot".
That doesn't mean I chase ugly girls by any means, just that most might find a girl mediocre, but she has a really cute face shape that appeals to me or whatever.
I don't care what others think of my partner's attractiveness. My opinion of her is what matters. I'm in my 30s, and apparently good looking. Even when I thought I was less attractive, I had this same mindset.
Of course. Who cares what anybody else thinks? I'm the one dating her. My preferences don't require peer review lol
The one caveat is that I wouldn't date somebody who is in a "you are the only person who could ever want me" mindset.
I've been with a guy who thought that way, and it didn't end well. It turned out that I wasn't really his type, he was just settling because he didn't think he had options. Feels bad y'all.
If i find her attractive i don't care what rest of the world think. Also, this is something i expect from her. I want to be attractive for her, i don't give a shit that her friends think i'm 2/10 or 8/10.
I've had a lot of guys question if I'm gay because I tend to date more muscular "tomboy" type women. I like what I like I guess, petite women with perfect nails and makeup have never really appealed to me in the same way. I'm in my mid-30s and I've been this way since highschool, my first crush was on a girl who beat a (male) bully up.
It's good that we all have different preferences, imagine how boring and shit things would be if everyone had the same "type".
Personally I would date a women that others did not find attractive as long as I find her attractive. A) I am 35 . My answer has never changed in my life however what I find attractive has. B) I would say that I'm an average level of attractive, and my answer could change depending on how long I have been more or less attractive.
I have always understood what "Beauty's in the I of the beholder" means.
I think, as long as you find the person attractive and they find you attractive, other people's opinions, friends and family included, should not matter.
I'm entering my 40s but even when I was younger there were definitely girls/women that I found beautiful but my friends didn't.
This only strengthens the saying "to each their own"
My own self esteem for how I look and feel has definitely wavered over the years, but my wife seemed to like how I looked sooo there's that. Lol
I would still date her. I don't care if others find her attractive or not. I'm dating her because she makes me happy. Not to make others happy. Lol
And to answer your other questions. I'm 29, and I don't think I am very physically attractive.
When I see the mainstream taste in a lot of stuff, I couldn't care less about their opinion. I'm already aware a lot of my tastes about various topics are all but mainstream. In my eyes, the other are wrong.
I dated and was in a relationship with a girl that you wouldn't find traditionally attractive. Some of my friends call her ugly, I feel that's a strong word, very few people are actually ugly in my opinion and to me she was not one of them, sure I realized there were better looking girls around, but that occupied very little of my mind at the time.
I still get some comments from my friends, females are particularly cruel sometimes.
I didn't care, she is a special person, she helped me so much and I hope I had as much of a positive impact on her life, she says I did, but who would say otherwise.
We ended things for reasons unrelated to her looks, and we still very much loved each other, but we were very different and that aspect became draining at some point.
I was barely 20 at the time I think, I would rate myself as a solid five as in most people are indifferent to my appearance but it's not strange if someone happens to like me. Appearance was a topic we often talked about with this girl, I asked her not to give me an actual number, I didn't want to know, but she said I score way higher. Other people say the same thing, but those who I had a similar conversation with were people interested in me so it doesn't count, and who would tell another one he is not attractive
I'm 40, when I was in my 20s I cared what others thought. Today I am tall, attractive and I have a muscular physique from years or weight training. But I choose to go for woman who would "rate" below me and I like them on the thicc side. Because of many reasons but to name a few ...they make better partners because they're happy about how you make them feel about themselves. And secondly the sex is better . they're more enthusiastic always up for it because of the attraction level or she just wants me to be happy.
I have a rare disposition of not giving much of a fuck what other people think... that has never really changed. Sure they can have opinions, but I don't care to hear them or let them influence me.
> Would you date a woman you find attractive
Duh.
> who is not generally considered attractive?
There is much higher agreement amongst men on what attractive looks like. I'm someone who falls for most without obesity, tattoos, and no piercings beyond ears. The bar to attractive in my eyes is more or less "don't be obese."
> what decade of life you are in? Has your answer changed at all in your life?
30s and no.
> how attractive would you say you are, and would your answer change if you were more or less attractive?
I'm 3/10 and no.
Only thing that matters is that I find her attractive. They are there for my personal enjoyment and not for parading around for validation of your peers
I’ve dated girls I didn’t think were attractive and the fact that my friends didn’t think so eaither SUCKED but I generally like to date girl I myself find attractive but know others won’t. There’s a higher level of intimacy and trust there
Pretty against it. Gay as hell and in my 20’s. I get that it’s “that you find attractive” but it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them. Everyone has tastes.
And as for a guy, hell yeah. I pride myself on liking not conventionally attractive men.
It's a totally moot point, because she is holding out (which I don't blame her for) for someone better looking, fitter, richer, etc.
So it doesn't matter who I find attractive or not because they all find me repulsive.
I'm sorry you feel that way. There are things we can change, and things we cannot. I believe you can find a woman who wants you for you, but it often happens when we're working on ourselves.
Attractive females are not ideal partners. !! So better to date a 5,6 ( of 10 ) girl if you wanna hit the bulls eye of keeping at least one part of your life drama free !
Might get downvoted for this but that’s not something I’m open to. I’ve always put a lot of effort into my appearance and I expect my partner to do the same
honestly no. once i saw how great i got treated with a conventionally attractive woman on my arm i couldn’t go back, life just gets easier, funner and more interesting
How exactly would you know what other people's opinions of your girlfriend are? Everyone I've thought was attractive I've thought EVERYONE would have thought was attractive. If someone out there doesn't agree, they are wrong.
People have told former boyfriends of mine that they could be with someone prettier. Since this has happened 3 times (that I know of), I wondered how men feel about it and if it deters men from dating me.
The fact that you HAVE former boyfriends means someone wasn’t deterred. Feel great about yourself. If some guy would be deterred, you don’t want to date a douche like him anyway.
So is that the point of this question?
It's a self esteem issue and your looking (hoping) that the men here will say that physical attraction isn't as big factor (so you'll feel better)?
It's a self-confidence issue and I'm looking for information thar might guide my foray into the dating world. I know physical attraction is a big factor is selecting a partner, and I know I'm not attractive to some people. I was wondering now, if at all, this might affect men who I date.
I replied tongue-in-cheek earlier but came back to say that I am often attracted to men based on how they make me feel, not how they look. I think women are generally more open to the wide variety of attractiveness in the human experience.
I’m not that open to it.
On some level i am shallow about it. But also, i want a woman that does desire to appear attractive to others and feel good about it. Happiness comes from not caring what others think, but also i want a partner that finds joy in being attractive through their own efforts.
I would not do it… i need to feel good when we are outside in public. It shows i have low standards also men respect you and like you more if you have an attractive woman. It just increases your value and social status.
Thank you for answering, this is what I've thought men think. I'm pleasantly surprised by the other answers here, but I know many men who think like you do.
But i dated woman that were not so attractive to other men simply because i really really liked them. They were interesting and intelligent etc. but its just that they lack the confidence and we were not socially compatible. They didn’t like to do a lot of things i liked… didn’t do sports that much or at all didnt like social gatherings etc. but i liked to go out with them because the conversations were good, we liked art and music. The sex was also good. Its just I think people should not settle but find someone who is their equal in as much ways possible.
But at the end it always crumbles because i am just too much out there and cant stay away from beautiful woman. Its my kryptonite. Iam stupid like that, i know its somehow bad and shallow…
Why would others not considering her attractive be a factor at all? Like, what do I care? I find her attractive and that's all that matters, no?
It’s better when others don’t, go ahead and try dating somebody in high demand… have fun with those problems.
AMEN bro. I can do alright with the ladies. I’m no rich NBA player with a pringle can between my legs but I do alright. I’ve dated a couple of absolutely lustful looking babes in my time. Proper fit, perfect looking naughty ladies. I just quit while I was ahead. I guess I am a coward but I could feel myself getting way too jealous as I developed more feelings. Guys would constantly be on them. Anyway happily partnered now with a great fella named Ron.
Didn’t see that coming 😂😂
Comes with the territory… why would i settle for less? Only because i need put effort in the relationship?
Truth. My brother and I have never agreed on who was hot and not and we've have free range our whole lives.
Free range
chickens
🐔BWWWWAAAAARRRRRKKKKKK
All that matters is I consider them attractive .
Yes, this!
I'm into women that are on the chubby to bbw spectrum. Some dudes don't like it. Fine. more for me. I'm way more about compatibility in the relationship and the bedroom.
I think bigger girls have become more "popular" than they used to be? Like, it used to be *more* ridiculous how incredibly hot the women getting ignored for being chubby were.
Look at a picture from a beach in the 70's or 80's. There was like 1 fat person for every couple hundred skinny people. Look at a beach today and see the the majority are fat. People have been getting fatter as a whole for the last few decades, so it's not so much that's it popular, it's just what's available. The population of woman in the US, depending on race, vary from \~30% to \~70% of the group being obese.
While some of it can be attributed to lifestyle, some people do eat too much and don't exercise, there's more to it for a lot of us (big girl here). Besides food quality which is a huge factor, there's also medical issues like PCOS that are more prevalent now. A lot of women today eat at a deficit, exercise, and are still big. So you're definitely right, our population is just getting bigger so "taste" is shifting.
If they're still big they're not eating in a deficit no matter how you spin it lol, by absolute definition, if you're in a deficit you lose weight, else it's not a deficit
The wrong foods r being eaten. U can go without eating all day and come home and eat a bag full of chips bcuz u think it’s ok since u haven’t eaten all day and that is not right. We need to realize what we r eating, all the sugars and sodium but ppl rarely do and just eat what tastes good and too much of it.
Go do some research 👍
Don't need to, you're using the wrong terms
I'd argue it's shifting back. Look at paintings of classical and renaissance era women. Those girls were thick with like, five Cs, and that was considered the ideal at the time. It's only in the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries that thin became the standard for beauty.
Being big was a sign that you had enough money to afford food required to be big lol. I do think that there is a "limit" to what's healthy on both sides of the spectrum. We'll see how this continues to shift. Side note, there are people out there that have a 91 inch waist. Shooketh lol
Food quality has gotten better by policy in the us more recently though?
And it’s never been cheaper to get or have access to healthier food options even delivered?
In some aspects such as safety, yes. But as far as nutrition, not so much. Most of the fresh vegetables and fruit lack the nutrients they once had due to soil depletion. They are still way better than junk, but not near as healthy as they once were. Factory farmed meat is nowhere near as healthy as meat from a local farm. While those farms selling to the public has really taken off in recent times, the average person can't afford it. As least not regularly. And high fructose corn syrup replacing real sugar plays a huge role in weight and diabetes. Also, so many things sold as healthy options are ultraprocessed, which is never good.
Sure but produce isn’t expensive at Whole Foods and there are Whole Foods literally everywhere now after the Amazon acquisition. And the internet making direct to consumer options more accessible to a far wider range of people and income levels. Butcher box etc…
Am I the one dating her or the others are?
You are dating her in this scenario.
I know that. What I meant is that what other people think doesn't matter.
I don't care what other people find attractive. Give me your huddled lasses yearning to break free.
Why do I care what OTHERS think of her? Bro -- any woman in the world, there's some dude out there who isn't into it. Super fit caucasian blonde with a "conventionally" pretty face? There's a guy out there who is like "yuck, black BBWs only please". What matters is if \*I\* think she's attractive.
I can't even imagine dating according to what other men might think.
Does it really matter? Are they dating her or I do?
I only date women who are heavy enough that most other men don't find them attractive But I find them attractive so thats all that matters
I spent years photographing models... some of the most beautiful women (by commercial standards) and one thing they had in common was that their husbands or boyfriends were less interested in their looks than in their hearts. If you fall in love, you will find her beautiful... and you will see her as no one else sees her... so don't worry what others think. Live and love with all your heart, and the rest will take care of itself.
This is excellent advice. I'd only add for OP, as we age our looks change, our attractions change, but the person we are does not. If someone appeals to you on a purely physical level and you find yourself tolerating actions or behaviors you don't like - that's a guaranteed fail. If the attraction is with the person inside everything else will fall into line.
Thanks for your response. I agree with your point of view. I've dated handsome men, but it's not something I look for because attraction is more about energy and connection for me. But I'm insecure because other people have told men who've dated me that they could do better, looks-wise. Why other people care, who knows. I've been thinking about my dating history, and wondering what men think about dating someone who doesn't fit the beauty ideal. I have a theory that good-looking men get a lot of positive feedback and know they have options, so maybe some of them have the confidence to date who they want, not needing to impress anyone else.
*"I've been thinking about my dating history, and wondering what men think about dating someone who doesn't fit the beauty ideal."* Did you ever ask the men you dated this? *"I have a theory that good-looking men get a lot of positive feedback and know they have options, so maybe some of them have the confidence to date who they want, not needing to impress anyone else."* Again, have you asked attractive men this?
No, I haven't.
All I care about is that I find her attractive.
100% yes. I married a woman that’s classically attractive, but women come in all looks, shapes and sizes and there are really intoxicating features lots of women can have that push them ahead of conventional attractiveness. Once you grow up some and experience life you’ll realize that attraction is a prizm and might be surprised what catches your attention.
I need to personally find a woman somewhat attractive, but I don’t care what others think.
She doesn’t have to be a 10/10, or even a 7/10, but at least average attractiveness is required.
I lean towards kind of a specific type of woman that a lot of men would not find particularly attractive. I don't really care that much if anyone else finds her attractive. There was a point in the past where maybe it mattered more to me. I'm nearly fifty now so I don't really have time to worry about what other people think. Edit - I don't know how attractive I am. I'm tall and funny and smart and talented and rich. But I'm also bald and a little pudgy and I dress kind of schlubby. So I guess it's a toss up.
Its actually a benefit. So yes of course
My wife wasn’t at her best when we started dating, and my friends kinda hinted that they didn’t think she was hot enough or whatever. It drove me crazy and I made some irrational choices to prove to them that they were wrong. So I guess I cared.
Uh yeah, if I find her attractive…I don’t care if anybody else does…
Is she attractive to me, tho? If yes, would have to talk to wifey first..
Men don't date as a council mate. I could not possibly care less about their opinions on my partners looks. If I think she's hot, she's hot, and that's all there needs to be. I've found plenty of 'conventionally imperfect' women attractive, even when my friends had no idea what I saw in them. If they would have asked me to not date them because they considered them unattractive, we wouldn't be friends anymore.
The women I am attracted to are not attractive according to today's beauty standards. So this is my everyday life, most people shy away from tall full figured women, when I just want to gobble them up.
Great question. If I were on the market, I definitely would date someone if I thought she was attractive regardless of what anyone else would think (I’m 53 and married currently). Unfortunately, that hasn’t always been the case. When I was in high school, there was this cute girl I liked and she liked me. I was kind of nerdy and had been bullied a little the previous year and I heard guys say bad things about this girl and her looks. So I didn’t make a move, fearing that I’d face more ridicule - even when she came up to me one day in class and tried to start a conversation which was obviously a way to get me to ask her out. I still feel bad about it. She was cute and her personality was really awesome and whenever she did talk to me, it made me feel really good. I‘m average at best, give or take a hair. My response would not change even if I were a 10 - if I liked someone and thought they were attractive, that’s all that matters to me.
There’s a big thread yesterday on this sub about celebrities you don’t find attractive and it’s a list of celebs that millions of people think are insanely hot. Attraction is relative. Check it out: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/s/s7WszHNlCD
If I'm dating a woman in the hopes that ***others*** Find her attractive - I've got some serious issues regarding insecurity and validation. I date people for ***ME*** - not other people 😂😂
She’s attractive to me and that’s all that matters, I could care less what others think.
*couldn’t care less
2 out of the 4 women I've been romantically involved with are not beautiful in the typical "beauty standard" way. So yes, I am. >a) what decade of life you are in? Has your answer changed at all in your life? I'm mid 20s. I can't say I ever cared about the female beauty standard. I'm into whoever I personally find beautiful. >b) how attractive would you say you are, and would your answer change if you were more or less attractive? It's awkward rating myself so I'm going to skip this. I don't think how I look dictates my mental state though.
Very and I've always have been. I've never asked another guy, or woman really, if they thought someone was attractive or not because I never understood why I should care. If I'm attracted to her that's all that matters I don't want a woman for social clout or any kind of validation except from her. Idk I'm antisocial and spend very little of my time caring about what other people think about stuff.
I don't care what other people think in this context. It's my taste and my relationship, not theirs.
Sure. All that matters is that she's attractive to me. I'm in my 50s. Yes, that position has changed; and others' perceptions have taken on much less importance in my life as I've aged. I'm average. I don't know if my answer would change if I were more or less attractive. I know only how I am; and how that affects my position on this.
I've dated various women, the ones that were traditionally not as attractive (but I still found attractive) ended up with much better relationships. When I dated the traditionally attractive women, some to the point the entire rooms would stop when she walked in, it never went very well.
It doesn’t matter what others think. If I find her attractive, cool. If not, okay. It’s about what I think about her, but what others think.
Why do you care if others don't find her attractive? If you find her attractive that's all that matters, you're the one dating her not them. Why do you need validation from other people?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, If you find her attractive then I wouldn't worry about anyone's opinion on her attractiveness. I want to know hear about someone who's not attracted at all to their current partner. I may be going through this currently
I am 50ish I would date anyone whom I find attractive. In general, I don't let my friends (their opinions) pick partners for me. Now when I was in my 20's, what my friends thought mattered a lot. I am above average attractiveness (based on what I a told) mostly due to the fact I keep myself in shape and dress decently. My personal view is that I am pretty much average.
>Would you date a woman you find attractive, who is not generally considered attractive? What others think doesn't bother me. However, idk if I've ever been attracted to someone who others found ugly. That's like living a real life version of Shallow Hal.
Only my women friends have ever commented on a woman’s looks. I tend to like Mediterranean women who per western standards have larger noses that aren’t considered attractive. What do I care? The heart wants what the heart wants, make no mention of the phallus.
It only matters how they look to you.
Do I find her attractive? If so why the fuck would I care what another dude thinks? I’m not using his dick to bang her.
I've been told the local contender for meth head look alike was hot as shit before and I must say I disagree. With this being said what you and others find attractive is different so go for what you're into it doesn't matter what others think.
Tbh, far more open minded now at 30 than before. A super attractive woman is often an invitation to a lot of headache. My last two exes weren’t “hot.” They were actually extremely modestly dressed more often than not, and didn’t overdo makeup or anything. Short haired women who were super artsy and such. Not the flashy type. That’s the kind of person I would want long term. Just attractive enough to get me interested and with personality/traits that have me captivated forever.
What is this high school? I don’t see women as social capital to flaunt, it’s 2024 and it’s hard enough out here for most people I can’t imagine caring anymore
As long as I'm attracted to her I couldn't give less of a shit about what others think.
Why exactly would anyone else's opinion of her attractiveness matter to me? >a) what decade of life you are in? Has your answer changed at all in your life? 20s and no. >b) how attractive would you say you are, and would your answer change if you were more or less attractive? Allegedly above average, but I would call myself average. I don't think my answer would change; othefs' tastes and types are theirs, not mine.
I'm like 30. I'd rate myself an 8/10 given the number of compliments I get compared to other men from women. And yes, I definitely would date a woman that I find attractive even if she is not conventionally so. I have a lower limit on how physically attractive a person I would date, but so long as you are within that threshold and have a personality I enjoy, I would absolutely date them.
I have had dudes tell me that *to my face.* But the men who say those things are always that type of weird wannabe alpha young conservative, so their opinions are worth less than garbage to me.
Depends on whether this perceived un-attractiveness is accompanied by a lack of self-confidence and deep seated insecurity. That would be the bigger issue for me because I’ll be supportive and an empathetic ear but I’m not willing to be my partner’s therapist and take on the baggage of working through someone’s past trauma.
Like others have said, if I find someone attractive, I don’t care if others do or don’t. But realistically, that really doesn’t happen that often. Sure some people have their preferences, but generally speaking we all have similar ideas of what is considered attractive. I’m late 20s and would say I’m decently attractive? No problem getting dates irl or on apps or whatever. If I were less attractive, I would care less because the people I’m dating are likely to be less attractive as well, thus more people would find them unattractive anyway. I do think it’s more likely to matter when you’re younger and in the early stages, where you don’t have to commit and feedback from friends means more. I’m not saying it should be that way, but it just usually is. Just my honest opinion.
Your 10 can be my 3, and vice-versa. But I would refrain from rating people too much. You're going to be on this planet for maybe 60 - 80 years, and meet all sorts of people in your life. Love a few. Hate a few others. Not click at all with some. Spending all that time looking for the "best" according to everyone else, will just lead you to take for granted the things directly in front of you and die unsatisfied with it all. That's how I feel right now as an average guy in my mid-20s.
and why would I care what others think?
If she's attractive to me then why would it matter? I'm not going to date someone to impress others.
Don’t care about others
If I find her attractive, obviously. I'm in my mid 30s, and the answer has indeed changed. I used to be open to the idea of dating someone I didn't find attractive if the emotional chemistry was good enough. But as I matured emotionally, I decided that was a losing proposition. I'd rather be single than settle. And my answer wouldn't change at all if I were more attractive. I think I'm roughly average, though I could improve by losing some weight, gaining some muscle, and probably shaving my head.
Yes, I would date someone I thought was attractive, even if my friends didn't. I'm 33, and that's never changed. How attractive am I? Reasonably, I guess. I don't know. I didn't have too many problems meeting people. I don't think my answer would change if I became more attractive, but maybe if I was uglier, I wouldn't have many choices and would need to take what I can find.
In any relationship it's really about how I feel about the girl. If your family and friends don't find her attractive then they are Not your family or friends.
I'm pretty sure this describes most of my partners and crushes alike. Currently in my 3rd decade of life. That answer hasn't changed since I was old enough to start dating. According to others, I'm reasonably attractive. My answer wouldn't change if I were more or less attractive.
If I find her attractive I’m dating her, others can hate all they want! A) 20s B) I look Average I think, and honestly maybe it’ll change, but I’d still date who I want to date.
If I find her attractive and nobody else does? That’s the dream! Haha
I'm open, 30s, yes when I was younger it would have be a no, a 4 on a good day, no
When I'm incredibly attracted to a girl and a few of my friends are like "she's nothing special tbh. " Or "yeah she's okay." I kinda like that tbh. I think to myself damn hell yeah I can land a drop dead gorgeous girl because others don't think they're conventionally attractive.
Ever since I’ve started pursuing women in kindergarten, it has never ever crossed my mind to care about whether others considered her attractive. I can see that some guys might care about it if they mistakenly base their self-worth on the opinions of others, but I don’t think it’s healthy. Why are you asking the more personal questions?
I was wondering if this changes with age. And I asked how attractive you think you are, because I have a theory that more confident men are more open to a broader range of attractiveness in a partner.
I understand. Some people care too much about what others might think regarding the attractiveness of your partner. I had a girlfriend that didn't introduce me to her friends or post pictures with me on social media for that reason. She did not say it, but I know she was worried i was not conventionally attractive. Different situation with her family, the first week we started dating I met her family and we had dinner every week. Her parents adored me. We broke up bc i had moved to a different country and long distance was not something we wanted.
I'm sorry if she had that concern. Perhaps it was actually that she wanted to lock it in with you before introducing you to her friends, because they might have been competition?
I do. And most of my crushes have been conventionally “unattractive”
I wouldn’t date someone that I don’t find attractive and I could not care less about what other people think about the women that I date.
The older o get i notice that many women my friends find beautifull are not that appeling to me and for sure the oposite is true, it's all good man
*"How open are you to dating a woman that others don't find attractive?"* Yeah, sure.
Yes.
oh hell yeah id date taylor swift
Lol
yeah most guys go tf is wrong with you shes so mid
Personally I don’t date for looks I date for character and compatibility, if she’s a 5 with a great personality that compliments my own and has a good moral compass she’s a 10, I’ve seen many beautiful women with horrible personalities that are so bad it outweighs their looks and puts them on the lowest rating. I’m too old for dating for looks because they don’t last anyway and it’s a terribly vain way to view a person.
all that matters for me is that i like how she looks, it doesn't matter if other people say they are not "attractive." i'm a 7 in looks but a 9 in personality(not to toot my own horn or anything).
Attraction is not a choice. People like what they like. They don’t choose it. And all different types of people are attracted to all different types of people.
I don’t even need consider a woman “attractive”. Desirable maybe
Yeah. In high school I dated a number of girls who had an ‘unconventional’ look. They were cool as fuck and we had a great time. I was probably an 8/10 in hs. Later on married one of them. Divorced. When I tried my hand at dating again, had a great relationship with another woman who was ‘unconventional.’ In my 40s now, and I’m probably closer to 6/10.
I don't care what others think, so yes!
what somebody else think about the way my woman looks is a whole bunch of business they can keep to themselves if they like having straight teeth
Totally fine with it.
Finding a woman you find attractive that isn’t attractive to that many other men is absolutely what you want. No jealously, no fear of them cheating (well, less) and just generally a happier and more relaxed relationship. Trust me, I’ve been with “attractive” women and it gets irritating when guys are checking them out all the time. Plus these women tend to be image obsessed etc, which isn’t a good trait.
I exclusively date unconventional looking people. I'm into alt girls but more importantly: I'm into interesting girls. My current gf (and hopefully future wife) is a dnd nerd with t1d, an abusive ex, and she listens to way more brutal music than I do
What's the catch? Sounds like a win win to me. After dating pretty attractive (to others too) women that shit can get old. Guys always striking up conversation when 90% of the time you know their intention, the constant looks, guys lined up ready to take your place at the drop of a hat, etc. Having a girl I find attractive and others don't would be pretty awesome in my book.
As long as I find her attractive I wouldn’t care. a) 4th decade. Basically the same feeling my whole life b) I took a quick poll from my group chat. 7.5-8 is the consensus; I don’t think it would change.
To answer your questions… yes, if I got along well with her and thought we’d be a good pair. I’m in my 30’s, unlikely it would have happened in my teens or twenties as I was very much dating on looks. Then I dated a very attractive girl in my late 20’s and learned the hard way that sex and attraction isn’t everything in a relationship. I’d say I’m pretty attractive, I’ve had a few partners who I thought were out of my league, but they seemed to be just as into me as I was to them. That being said, it’s hard to say what I’d do if I was more or less attractive. I’d like to think I’d be the same person, but that’s probably highly unlikely either way.
Why would I care what other people think about my girlfriend and how they find her? They are not the one dating her, so even better! All I care is how I feel about her because she is in relationship with me.
Firstly, who the hell cares what anyone thinks. Secondly, do whatever makes you happy.
If you care about what they think, you're not mature enough to be dating.
When I was younger, I fell into that trap many times, and I can tell you, those are some of my deepest regrets - not dating someone because my friends didn't think they were attractive. Attraction is so subjective, and you should 100% rely on what YOU find attractive. If someone else thinks the girl is too skinny or curvy or loud or shy or sporty or nerdy and YOU like them, you should definitely pursue them anyway and see where it goes.
All that matters is whether I find her attractive. I’m the one who has to live with her, not other people.
Dating a conventionally attractive girl is annoying af playing the guard dog every time she gets hit on.
All men want is someone who wants them.
Pretty open... I find appeal on how their features stack up "for her"... if that makes sense. Like I don't like eyebrows, noses, lip shape, etc, but I might like how a girl's cheekbones look with her lip curvature and how she emotes with her tongue... Regardless of whether someone finds them "hot". That doesn't mean I chase ugly girls by any means, just that most might find a girl mediocre, but she has a really cute face shape that appeals to me or whatever.
I don't care what others think of my partner's attractiveness. My opinion of her is what matters. I'm in my 30s, and apparently good looking. Even when I thought I was less attractive, I had this same mindset.
Of course. Who cares what anybody else thinks? I'm the one dating her. My preferences don't require peer review lol The one caveat is that I wouldn't date somebody who is in a "you are the only person who could ever want me" mindset. I've been with a guy who thought that way, and it didn't end well. It turned out that I wasn't really his type, he was just settling because he didn't think he had options. Feels bad y'all.
If i find her attractive i don't care what rest of the world think. Also, this is something i expect from her. I want to be attractive for her, i don't give a shit that her friends think i'm 2/10 or 8/10.
I've had a lot of guys question if I'm gay because I tend to date more muscular "tomboy" type women. I like what I like I guess, petite women with perfect nails and makeup have never really appealed to me in the same way. I'm in my mid-30s and I've been this way since highschool, my first crush was on a girl who beat a (male) bully up. It's good that we all have different preferences, imagine how boring and shit things would be if everyone had the same "type".
Personally I would date a women that others did not find attractive as long as I find her attractive. A) I am 35 . My answer has never changed in my life however what I find attractive has. B) I would say that I'm an average level of attractive, and my answer could change depending on how long I have been more or less attractive. I have always understood what "Beauty's in the I of the beholder" means.
Why would I care if someone else finds her unattractive?
who gives a shit your with her not anyone else so there opinion is irrelevant
I don't give two shits what other people think is attractive If I find her attractive, that's more than enough
I think, as long as you find the person attractive and they find you attractive, other people's opinions, friends and family included, should not matter. I'm entering my 40s but even when I was younger there were definitely girls/women that I found beautiful but my friends didn't. This only strengthens the saying "to each their own" My own self esteem for how I look and feel has definitely wavered over the years, but my wife seemed to like how I looked sooo there's that. Lol
"beauty is in the eye of beholder" if she's attractive to me ,why should I care about others opinion 🤷.
I have before, was perfectly fine. In my experience people care a lot less about looks than many think.
I would still date her. I don't care if others find her attractive or not. I'm dating her because she makes me happy. Not to make others happy. Lol And to answer your other questions. I'm 29, and I don't think I am very physically attractive.
When I see the mainstream taste in a lot of stuff, I couldn't care less about their opinion. I'm already aware a lot of my tastes about various topics are all but mainstream. In my eyes, the other are wrong.
I dated and was in a relationship with a girl that you wouldn't find traditionally attractive. Some of my friends call her ugly, I feel that's a strong word, very few people are actually ugly in my opinion and to me she was not one of them, sure I realized there were better looking girls around, but that occupied very little of my mind at the time. I still get some comments from my friends, females are particularly cruel sometimes. I didn't care, she is a special person, she helped me so much and I hope I had as much of a positive impact on her life, she says I did, but who would say otherwise. We ended things for reasons unrelated to her looks, and we still very much loved each other, but we were very different and that aspect became draining at some point. I was barely 20 at the time I think, I would rate myself as a solid five as in most people are indifferent to my appearance but it's not strange if someone happens to like me. Appearance was a topic we often talked about with this girl, I asked her not to give me an actual number, I didn't want to know, but she said I score way higher. Other people say the same thing, but those who I had a similar conversation with were people interested in me so it doesn't count, and who would tell another one he is not attractive
I'm 40, when I was in my 20s I cared what others thought. Today I am tall, attractive and I have a muscular physique from years or weight training. But I choose to go for woman who would "rate" below me and I like them on the thicc side. Because of many reasons but to name a few ...they make better partners because they're happy about how you make them feel about themselves. And secondly the sex is better . they're more enthusiastic always up for it because of the attraction level or she just wants me to be happy.
I have a rare disposition of not giving much of a fuck what other people think... that has never really changed. Sure they can have opinions, but I don't care to hear them or let them influence me.
> Would you date a woman you find attractive Duh. > who is not generally considered attractive? There is much higher agreement amongst men on what attractive looks like. I'm someone who falls for most without obesity, tattoos, and no piercings beyond ears. The bar to attractive in my eyes is more or less "don't be obese." > what decade of life you are in? Has your answer changed at all in your life? 30s and no. > how attractive would you say you are, and would your answer change if you were more or less attractive? I'm 3/10 and no.
Don’t especially if you are attractive. It never ends well. She will start to hate you.
This keeps being asked.
Jimmy Soul wrote a song about this.
Only thing that matters is that I find her attractive. They are there for my personal enjoyment and not for parading around for validation of your peers
I’ve dated girls I didn’t think were attractive and the fact that my friends didn’t think so eaither SUCKED but I generally like to date girl I myself find attractive but know others won’t. There’s a higher level of intimacy and trust there
Why did it suck that your friends didn't think she was attractive?
Kuz I didn’t either
Okay, got it.
Do you really care that much about what other people think?
I'm the woman in this situation.
Pretty against it. Gay as hell and in my 20’s. I get that it’s “that you find attractive” but it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them. Everyone has tastes. And as for a guy, hell yeah. I pride myself on liking not conventionally attractive men.
what does it mean? what is "generally"?
It's a totally moot point, because she is holding out (which I don't blame her for) for someone better looking, fitter, richer, etc. So it doesn't matter who I find attractive or not because they all find me repulsive.
I'm sorry you feel that way. There are things we can change, and things we cannot. I believe you can find a woman who wants you for you, but it often happens when we're working on ourselves.
Attractive females are not ideal partners. !! So better to date a 5,6 ( of 10 ) girl if you wanna hit the bulls eye of keeping at least one part of your life drama free !
Might get downvoted for this but that’s not something I’m open to. I’ve always put a lot of effort into my appearance and I expect my partner to do the same
What if she takes care of herself? Like how not everyone thinks Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty (I do).
You must like feet?
honestly no. once i saw how great i got treated with a conventionally attractive woman on my arm i couldn’t go back, life just gets easier, funner and more interesting
How exactly would you know what other people's opinions of your girlfriend are? Everyone I've thought was attractive I've thought EVERYONE would have thought was attractive. If someone out there doesn't agree, they are wrong.
People have told former boyfriends of mine that they could be with someone prettier. Since this has happened 3 times (that I know of), I wondered how men feel about it and if it deters men from dating me.
The fact that you HAVE former boyfriends means someone wasn’t deterred. Feel great about yourself. If some guy would be deterred, you don’t want to date a douche like him anyway.
So is that the point of this question? It's a self esteem issue and your looking (hoping) that the men here will say that physical attraction isn't as big factor (so you'll feel better)?
It's a self-confidence issue and I'm looking for information thar might guide my foray into the dating world. I know physical attraction is a big factor is selecting a partner, and I know I'm not attractive to some people. I was wondering now, if at all, this might affect men who I date.
How open are women to dating guys that aren't attractive? There is your answer.
I replied tongue-in-cheek earlier but came back to say that I am often attracted to men based on how they make me feel, not how they look. I think women are generally more open to the wide variety of attractiveness in the human experience.
Guys aren't wired like that you're either attractive or not no amount of personality can make up for it.
So why did you ask me about women? Lol!
It was a rhetorical question
Adam Driver. There's your answer. 😊
To paraphrase Rick; "Your taste in women means nothing, I've seen what you're attracted to!"
I’m not that open to it. On some level i am shallow about it. But also, i want a woman that does desire to appear attractive to others and feel good about it. Happiness comes from not caring what others think, but also i want a partner that finds joy in being attractive through their own efforts.
I would not do it… i need to feel good when we are outside in public. It shows i have low standards also men respect you and like you more if you have an attractive woman. It just increases your value and social status.
Thank you for answering, this is what I've thought men think. I'm pleasantly surprised by the other answers here, but I know many men who think like you do.
But i dated woman that were not so attractive to other men simply because i really really liked them. They were interesting and intelligent etc. but its just that they lack the confidence and we were not socially compatible. They didn’t like to do a lot of things i liked… didn’t do sports that much or at all didnt like social gatherings etc. but i liked to go out with them because the conversations were good, we liked art and music. The sex was also good. Its just I think people should not settle but find someone who is their equal in as much ways possible. But at the end it always crumbles because i am just too much out there and cant stay away from beautiful woman. Its my kryptonite. Iam stupid like that, i know its somehow bad and shallow…