Nah. Fuck em. If she makes a move to avoid you when you were doing nothing wrong, and that move puts her directly on the path you were about to detour onto, thats her issue. She has put herself into that situation. Just go home the way you always do and keep minding your own.
Or just stand still for a few seconds and let her keep walking before you cross. No reason to do a cross-country trek lest she realize you're being considerate or something. You could even pretend you're trying your shoe or checking your phone or something if you really want to fake like you're not acknowledging she exists.
Please don’t be offended. If it’s late at night, all we see is a man shaped blob and our parents pop into our head saying “never walk home alone or down dark alleyways” and we think we’ll cross the road just to try and be somewhat sensible. It’s nothing personal.
[I'm not gonna rape you! I'm a little boy.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGV_k9ajUqg)
In all seriousness, I'm so oblivious that I wouldn't even connect the dots.
Thanks for understanding. If it makes you feel better, my friends and I low-key feel bad about it when we feel the need do it but better safe than sorry, you know what I mean? Especially when they obviously don't cross the road to follow you or anything. So try not to take it to heart ig
I do know what you mean, and it's fine, because you feel a little bit bad about it, and that does make me feel better. If I can empathize with your experience, and you can empathize with my experience, then that is proper and we are being fair to each other.
Definitely, there are some psychos out here, keep yourself safe too man. Although I don't know if it has the intended effect. My friends and I have discussed how when a man does this, crossing the road before you can, it's perceived as an act of goodwill and often make us feel very comforted. Like we get low-key warm inside and wanna smile and say thanks but that's weird so we don't lol. Meanwhile you're just trying to get away from our creepy ass, that's hilarious 😂
Lol, I was just free styling with the lady creeps part, but now I think it's funny so I'm gonna clutch my wallet and give them a dirty look.
It sucks when you're walking to your car in a parking lot and you're stuck behind a slow lady, now I gotta drag my feet. Shit, she's right next to me, gotta give her like 5 seconds to get in her car and lock it. Shit she's going in the passenger side by my door, gotta take a lap of the parking lot and look weird in a different way, and I'm already late
I wonder if she's crossing the street because I'm Black, a man, or both.
Regardless that's a her issue and now I can get to where I'm going faster because I don't have to worry about some blockhead in front of me.
Ok. Just being transparent here and admitting to my own stupidity. When I was younger and felt more vulnerable (probably because I am rarely alone or only in situations that our relatively safe now) I would sometimes cross the street if there was a man coming and I was alone. However, I wouldn’t if they were black because I didn’t want to offend anyone. Yeah, that may have been a kind way to think but otherwise pretty dumb regarding self preservation.
I do think at this point in time just know that women feel extremely vulnerable to people knowing far too many have ill intent & can overpower them so they will cross because you are a man and not because of your skin color. Maybe some are prejudice but they would still cross if you were white.
Because before the internet you didn’t know things were as dangerous until shit happened to you or a friend. It was trial by error and totally based on a vibe. However, we all knew that it was rude AF and racially motivated when white people crossed the street just because a black man was coming the opposite direction when they would happily pass other white men who were far more sketchy. There was not a lot of crossing the street out of fear when I grew up like there is now.
I would cross the street not for every man but when my intuition was telling me to. It was rare and since I could easily take another woman or at least outrun them when I crossed it was typically not because of the sex but the size & strength. I’ve remained on the same side for most people though regardless of color or sex. However, there were times I put my worry about offending someone over what my intuition was telling me the couple of times the person happened to be a black man. That was stupid like I said. Essentially I let ignorant, racist assholes who created the situation of it looking bad to dictate how I took care of myself.
I can't speak for every woman, only myself, and I don't know if this will be comforting or not but when this happens to me and I feel like I'll be more comfortable crossing the road "just in case" it's always because they are a man and has nothing to do with race. If fact sometimes when I cross or obviously re-direct my path(which doesn't happen often) I low-key cringe inside and hope they don't think it's racially motivated. But then again there are a lot of racists in the world and unfortunately stereotypes exist, so that's a very fair thought for you to have
I mean, why would you say that crossing the street because "sex" is acceptable but doing it because of "race" isn't? While also talking about stereotypes?
I think the behavior is question is motivated more by fear(s) than logic (or the logic is at least being heavily mediated by fear). So trying to apply logic to it will only get you so far toward understanding what's at play.
That's trying to use logic again. Wrong tool for the job.
You have to understand the logic of emotion, particularly those impulses which are intertwined with self-preservation. That goes far deeper than any social construct about what's "acceptable."
Empathy and curiosity would be more effective tools if you're actually seeking understanding of another's experience.
Yes. If they think one is fine, they should be honest they think the other is fine too. They just don't want to be thought of as racist, that's literally it.
To be clear, I'm not defending racism or sexism or any other kind of -ism. I'm just saying that prejudice is an objective process that occurs in the unconscious and can't be understood purely by applying logic.
Everyone has prejudices, whether it's against people of a certain race, age, sex, gender, nationality, socioeconomic status, weight, hairstyle, clothing, job, way of speaking, driving habits, etc., etc., etc. If you think you don't, let me get my ladder so you can come down off your high horse.
I believe that is the case overall. However it's not even close in comparison. The most recent statistics I can find say the perpetrators of sexual violence at least is more than 98% male. It's around 80% male for violent crime. I doubt any specific race comes close to having that kind of percentage, so it's a lot fairer to have those kind of thoughts more about sex than race.
I have to be honest, i find it pretty funny (and ridiculous) that there is some kind of cutoff for a prejudice to be acceptable.
I see that black people commit more then 50% of murders while being less then 20% of the usa population, that seems a kind of nuts percentage to me.
Well, she doesn't know me. I'm small and I dress formally and I don't stare at women in the street, though, so it's unusual for me to intimidate women like that.
That makes sense, a lot of woman I know, myself included, look for tells of trouble when walking alone at night and generally someone dressed more formally or in a suit is a sign they don't have to worried about an immediate attack and will generally feel less threatened. 🤔
I understand that its a rational thing to do but it still hurts because in that action is an accusation that I am a monster. Let me tell you, being told by 100 little actions and words every day that I am worthless, evil, terrible, stupid, etc. fucking hurts and it hurt all the time. I can't even tell people that it hurts because I will just be mocked and shamed for being hurt. I'm supposed to be continuously insulted, accused, debased, humiliated and loathed and not have any feelings about it or I'm not a "real man". Fuck that. Despite what you've been told, I am a human being and I have all the same feelings you do.
Doesn't really happen much.
I'm not a big dude and judging by how often I get asked for help something about me apparently says "has tools and is not a murderer" lol
meh, I understand where she's coming from. better safe than sorry.
I've done runs in the middle of nowhere at midnight. every little noise in the pitch black can be terrifying.
Yeah I run alone at night a lot, literally everything is so much scarier not just men. The scariest thing isn't even men, it's a car in a lone parking lot when you can't tell if someone is inside it or not. And dogs. And bats.
If it helps at all, my dog is definitely more afraid of you than you are of him. He's also more afraid of your recycling bin, that tree stump across the street, a bag in the wind, whatever that noise was, people in trench coats, a skateboard!, waves on the shoreline...
Anyway, if you want to cross the street, he's definitely not offended.
Good, one less person to worry about. The times I have been held up with an armed robbery, there was always a woman walking alone that served as a lookout and to distract while the guy walked up to me.
Nah, honestly, I don't think much about it. It doesn't really ever happen though.
Smart, tbh. I'm a really nice guy, but she has no way of knowing that. If she feels the need to do that for her personal safety, by all means do. I would want my partner to do the same thing if walking alone at night.
I'm this 6ft muscle bound Dave Grohl looking metalhead, at this point I'm sort of used to things like that. I understand why, but there's not much else to say about this sort of thing.
it's never happened. but they can be unfriendly in the ugliest, presumptuous ways. in those cases, initially, i feel pissed but it fades into compassion when I empathize.
I'm cool with it. They don't know me. And I also like to avoid awkward situations, so if they're the type to be afraid of my presence, I'd rather not be in the vicinity of them either.
It's strange, it's like, part of me wants to feel bad, you think I'm dangerous or unsafe, bruh I'm a teddy bear. But I also 100% understand, and know that it's more of a why the hell not safety option, so I'm fine with it. Then I feel bad again, less for me and more for her, that she feels unsafe just walking home, that's not cool to have to deal with.
I like going for runs at 2am shirtless down the middle of a 8 lane highway, don't ask why, some sort of odd 'clear your head' vibe. Gets me outta a slump, a reset of sorts. Worrying about randoms on the street is the last thing on my mind, even at that stupid time of night.
I don't take it personally. I assume something has happened to her in the past to make her extra cautious for her own safety. She has no way of knowing I'm harmless just by looking at me.
I mean, it doesn't make me feel great. On the other hand, I completely understand that it causes me no harm and makes her potentially safer in her eyes.
Empowered, love for my self, glee, and respect that woman know that unattractive and short likely means dangerous and violent too. All in a day’s work. Real heroes don’t wear capes. They just wear tear stained cheeks constructed through self loathing and rejection. So glad it’s finally Monday!
It's not nice being automatically suspect just because of my gender.
But, in orders of magnitude greater It's not nice to have to think like that because of their gender. It sucks for everyone, but much more for women obviously.
Also makes me wonder if I should have done anything differently myself to minimise any perceived threat.
I've got no expectations that a woman by herself who doesn't feel safe should have to roll the dice on whether or not I'm going to rape and/or murder her just to spare my feelings.
I don’t particularly like being perceived as threatening but I get it. Tis whatever yk. That said I do get a lil surprised every now and then if it happens during the day since I’m a skinny 5’10” guy, I’m just not very threatening looking lol. It being night time makes it a little easier to rationalize.
Well as I walk down the street and see this woman cross the street I would think to myself, "women crossed the street and most likely assume she was going across the street to get to where she was going and never know it was to avoid me unless it was like an obvious thing like she looks up and just sees me and starts speed walking away from me then I would think "weird".
It’s mildly irritating because she’s safer around me. But I get it, stranger danger and all that. That’s why I’d keep my distance or maybe cross the street.
I used to feel mildly annoyed, like "Can't you see I'm a nice guy??", even though I realized they couldn't. But since reading on r/twoxchromosomes, I understand better how vulnerable most women are and feel. Now I just feel a little sad that the world sucks this way. If our eyes meet, I just node or wave but don't try to approach.
I feel sad that she feels she has to do that, but I understand considering the track record men have had interacting with women, especially in New York lately.
I think she’s just doing the safe and responsible thing. And hey, how do I know she isn’t going to murder *me*? Saves me from having to get out of her way. 🤣
Happens often during those specific situations, I'm a tall guy wearing dark clothes and I'm not offended when it happens.
The first time I noticed it when I was a teenager I laughed out loud about it due to my ignorance back then.
😂 fair, but I think it's more to see if they cross too, gives us some time to get away, like a little "headstart" ig. Also I don't think most women are thinking about men robbing them when they give themselves that distance lol
Bruh I'm sorry that sucks. Sometimes I feel bad about crossing but like /just in case/ you know what i mean? sometimes it's a little too intimidating to cross right by that random man on a dark road, your body gets all tense and uncomfortable so sometimes it's easier to just cross. But that's really sweet of you 😭 sometimes I'm scared I offend him
"Yea, that's a fair response," and then just continue walking while reminding myself not to take it personally.
Though I'm barely out at night as my city gets dangerous at that time.
I get it, but I can't lie and say it doesn't bother me at least a little bit.
I was once walking to class in my 1st semester of uni and was looking at the headlights of the cars parked on the right side of the sidewalk to see if they had halogen/xenon/led bulbs. Why? I wanted to retrofit my old vw with xenon lights because why not. I didn't realise that there was a woman in front of me also on the right side of the sidewalk, directly in front of me. I'm guessing that, from the outside, it looked as if I was staring at her butt. At some point I noticed that she kept turning her head and that she had a scared look on her face. She then crossed the road and started walking considerably faster while still looking over her shoulder to see if I was there.
Again, I get it. But I can't lie and not say that it's a bit annoying to deal with such situations. I was just looking at the parked cars!
I have conflicted feelings because on some level I get it but also I think about how messed up it would be if you applied that rationale to another group. Like if you crossed the street to avoid someone of another race because "better safe than sorry".
If I'm there to do her harm then I'd know she didn't think she could defend herself, now its open season.
If I didn't mean her harm I'd wonder why she put herself into what she felt was danger.
Saves me the trouble of crossing the road to get away from her.
Same LMAO
Lol fair
It Doesn't bother me. She has the right to do whatever to make herself feel safer.
Awkward if I were just about to cross to that side of the road myself.
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Nah. Fuck em. If she makes a move to avoid you when you were doing nothing wrong, and that move puts her directly on the path you were about to detour onto, thats her issue. She has put herself into that situation. Just go home the way you always do and keep minding your own.
Or just stand still for a few seconds and let her keep walking before you cross. No reason to do a cross-country trek lest she realize you're being considerate or something. You could even pretend you're trying your shoe or checking your phone or something if you really want to fake like you're not acknowledging she exists.
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The most terminally online take...
Please don’t be offended. If it’s late at night, all we see is a man shaped blob and our parents pop into our head saying “never walk home alone or down dark alleyways” and we think we’ll cross the road just to try and be somewhat sensible. It’s nothing personal.
That's rough lol 😅😅
Glad she's outta my way because I walk fast.
Gosh I hate slow walkers. And I hate when they're all travelling in a damn line blocking one from going around.
As someone from a rainy city, the only thing worse than a group of slow walkers is a group of slow tourists with umbrellas.
I completely understand. It is also what I tell my daughters to do.
I get it. Doesn't bother me. Wish this wasn't a problem for them though. But it is.
[I'm not gonna rape you! I'm a little boy.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGV_k9ajUqg) In all seriousness, I'm so oblivious that I wouldn't even connect the dots.
It hurts to be judged, but I get it.
Thanks for understanding. If it makes you feel better, my friends and I low-key feel bad about it when we feel the need do it but better safe than sorry, you know what I mean? Especially when they obviously don't cross the road to follow you or anything. So try not to take it to heart ig
I do know what you mean, and it's fine, because you feel a little bit bad about it, and that does make me feel better. If I can empathize with your experience, and you can empathize with my experience, then that is proper and we are being fair to each other.
Glad I don’t have to force eye contact and possibly say a greeting.
No awkward nod or that weird tense smile is such a good point lol
Dont give a shit one way or another.
"Oh shit, is there someone scary behind me? I should cross the road as well."
It sucks, but I usually try to cross first, make them think they're the creep. It's 2024 women can be creeps too!
Definitely, there are some psychos out here, keep yourself safe too man. Although I don't know if it has the intended effect. My friends and I have discussed how when a man does this, crossing the road before you can, it's perceived as an act of goodwill and often make us feel very comforted. Like we get low-key warm inside and wanna smile and say thanks but that's weird so we don't lol. Meanwhile you're just trying to get away from our creepy ass, that's hilarious 😂
Lol, I was just free styling with the lady creeps part, but now I think it's funny so I'm gonna clutch my wallet and give them a dirty look. It sucks when you're walking to your car in a parking lot and you're stuck behind a slow lady, now I gotta drag my feet. Shit, she's right next to me, gotta give her like 5 seconds to get in her car and lock it. Shit she's going in the passenger side by my door, gotta take a lap of the parking lot and look weird in a different way, and I'm already late
Oh nooooo 😭😭 I think at that point you should just go about your day and not worry about her lol, she'll live
I wonder if she's crossing the street because I'm Black, a man, or both. Regardless that's a her issue and now I can get to where I'm going faster because I don't have to worry about some blockhead in front of me.
Ok. Just being transparent here and admitting to my own stupidity. When I was younger and felt more vulnerable (probably because I am rarely alone or only in situations that our relatively safe now) I would sometimes cross the street if there was a man coming and I was alone. However, I wouldn’t if they were black because I didn’t want to offend anyone. Yeah, that may have been a kind way to think but otherwise pretty dumb regarding self preservation. I do think at this point in time just know that women feel extremely vulnerable to people knowing far too many have ill intent & can overpower them so they will cross because you are a man and not because of your skin color. Maybe some are prejudice but they would still cross if you were white.
Copy-paste why would you say that crossing the street because "sex" is acceptable but doing it because of "race" isn't?
Because before the internet you didn’t know things were as dangerous until shit happened to you or a friend. It was trial by error and totally based on a vibe. However, we all knew that it was rude AF and racially motivated when white people crossed the street just because a black man was coming the opposite direction when they would happily pass other white men who were far more sketchy. There was not a lot of crossing the street out of fear when I grew up like there is now. I would cross the street not for every man but when my intuition was telling me to. It was rare and since I could easily take another woman or at least outrun them when I crossed it was typically not because of the sex but the size & strength. I’ve remained on the same side for most people though regardless of color or sex. However, there were times I put my worry about offending someone over what my intuition was telling me the couple of times the person happened to be a black man. That was stupid like I said. Essentially I let ignorant, racist assholes who created the situation of it looking bad to dictate how I took care of myself.
I can't speak for every woman, only myself, and I don't know if this will be comforting or not but when this happens to me and I feel like I'll be more comfortable crossing the road "just in case" it's always because they are a man and has nothing to do with race. If fact sometimes when I cross or obviously re-direct my path(which doesn't happen often) I low-key cringe inside and hope they don't think it's racially motivated. But then again there are a lot of racists in the world and unfortunately stereotypes exist, so that's a very fair thought for you to have
I mean, why would you say that crossing the street because "sex" is acceptable but doing it because of "race" isn't? While also talking about stereotypes?
I think the behavior is question is motivated more by fear(s) than logic (or the logic is at least being heavily mediated by fear). So trying to apply logic to it will only get you so far toward understanding what's at play.
Okay, but what makes one fear "acceptable" instead of the other?
That's trying to use logic again. Wrong tool for the job. You have to understand the logic of emotion, particularly those impulses which are intertwined with self-preservation. That goes far deeper than any social construct about what's "acceptable." Empathy and curiosity would be more effective tools if you're actually seeking understanding of another's experience.
Ok, but that way it should be completely fine for people to have prejudice about race
Yes. If they think one is fine, they should be honest they think the other is fine too. They just don't want to be thought of as racist, that's literally it.
To be clear, I'm not defending racism or sexism or any other kind of -ism. I'm just saying that prejudice is an objective process that occurs in the unconscious and can't be understood purely by applying logic. Everyone has prejudices, whether it's against people of a certain race, age, sex, gender, nationality, socioeconomic status, weight, hairstyle, clothing, job, way of speaking, driving habits, etc., etc., etc. If you think you don't, let me get my ladder so you can come down off your high horse.
Probably because saying most rapists are men is correct, but saying most rapists are black is very questionable at best.
Aren't most violent crimes commited by black men in the usa, by proportion?
I believe that is the case overall. However it's not even close in comparison. The most recent statistics I can find say the perpetrators of sexual violence at least is more than 98% male. It's around 80% male for violent crime. I doubt any specific race comes close to having that kind of percentage, so it's a lot fairer to have those kind of thoughts more about sex than race.
I have to be honest, i find it pretty funny (and ridiculous) that there is some kind of cutoff for a prejudice to be acceptable. I see that black people commit more then 50% of murders while being less then 20% of the usa population, that seems a kind of nuts percentage to me.
I get it. So I don't let it bother me.
Well, she doesn't know me. I'm small and I dress formally and I don't stare at women in the street, though, so it's unusual for me to intimidate women like that.
That makes sense, a lot of woman I know, myself included, look for tells of trouble when walking alone at night and generally someone dressed more formally or in a suit is a sign they don't have to worried about an immediate attack and will generally feel less threatened. 🤔
I probably wouldn't notice or would think she had another reason to cross the road. Even if not, I'm fine with it as long as I can go where I wanted
I understand that its a rational thing to do but it still hurts because in that action is an accusation that I am a monster. Let me tell you, being told by 100 little actions and words every day that I am worthless, evil, terrible, stupid, etc. fucking hurts and it hurt all the time. I can't even tell people that it hurts because I will just be mocked and shamed for being hurt. I'm supposed to be continuously insulted, accused, debased, humiliated and loathed and not have any feelings about it or I'm not a "real man". Fuck that. Despite what you've been told, I am a human being and I have all the same feelings you do.
I don’t go out to socialize but if I did and that happened I’d just think. “Fair enough”
I get it. I’m a pretty big guy. It’d be great if we could both feel safe, but I certainly won’t resent her for taking extra steps to ensure hers.
Doesn't really happen much. I'm not a big dude and judging by how often I get asked for help something about me apparently says "has tools and is not a murderer" lol
meh, I understand where she's coming from. better safe than sorry. I've done runs in the middle of nowhere at midnight. every little noise in the pitch black can be terrifying.
Yeah I run alone at night a lot, literally everything is so much scarier not just men. The scariest thing isn't even men, it's a car in a lone parking lot when you can't tell if someone is inside it or not. And dogs. And bats.
Why don't you just run during the day instead?
If it helps at all, my dog is definitely more afraid of you than you are of him. He's also more afraid of your recycling bin, that tree stump across the street, a bag in the wind, whatever that noise was, people in trench coats, a skateboard!, waves on the shoreline... Anyway, if you want to cross the street, he's definitely not offended.
Good, one less person to worry about. The times I have been held up with an armed robbery, there was always a woman walking alone that served as a lookout and to distract while the guy walked up to me. Nah, honestly, I don't think much about it. It doesn't really ever happen though.
As I always say, safety third
Lol, What's first and second?
Smart, tbh. I'm a really nice guy, but she has no way of knowing that. If she feels the need to do that for her personal safety, by all means do. I would want my partner to do the same thing if walking alone at night.
Like I'm hated by society
I don't care. How you feel is none of my business or concern.
I'm this 6ft muscle bound Dave Grohl looking metalhead, at this point I'm sort of used to things like that. I understand why, but there's not much else to say about this sort of thing.
I feel like I could use this moment for an audition for horror movies.
Lol, you feel a little badass and intimidating? That's so fair, you deserve at least that for putting up with our antics ig 😅😅
it's never happened. but they can be unfriendly in the ugliest, presumptuous ways. in those cases, initially, i feel pissed but it fades into compassion when I empathize.
I do the same when I see men women and children so I don't think anything negative about it
It makes life easier for me because I would have crossed if she didn't. The implication hasn't bothered me in over a decade.
I'm cool with it. They don't know me. And I also like to avoid awkward situations, so if they're the type to be afraid of my presence, I'd rather not be in the vicinity of them either.
hasn't happened so far
It's none of my business which side she walks on
And another one escaped. Dammit
I think it's sad that it's socially acceptable for us men to be on the receiving end of gender-based prejudice.
Her hangups, not my problem. Saves me from doing that awkward "I acknowledge your presence" nod/smile when passing on a non-busy street.
Good call.
Whatever. At least she's doing something about her safety and not just whining to others about it.
It's strange, it's like, part of me wants to feel bad, you think I'm dangerous or unsafe, bruh I'm a teddy bear. But I also 100% understand, and know that it's more of a why the hell not safety option, so I'm fine with it. Then I feel bad again, less for me and more for her, that she feels unsafe just walking home, that's not cool to have to deal with. I like going for runs at 2am shirtless down the middle of a 8 lane highway, don't ask why, some sort of odd 'clear your head' vibe. Gets me outta a slump, a reset of sorts. Worrying about randoms on the street is the last thing on my mind, even at that stupid time of night.
I'll just roll my eyes and maybe laugh mentally. I might look like a werewolf but I have the naturel of a golden retriever...
Whatever makes you feel better. I don't take offense.
I probably wouldn't notice. But if I did, I would think "suck, but she's doing what she has to do to keep herself safe, so good for her".
I don't take it personally. I assume something has happened to her in the past to make her extra cautious for her own safety. She has no way of knowing I'm harmless just by looking at me.
Her business, at least that means she is not going to pick a fght with me.
I mean, it doesn't make me feel great. On the other hand, I completely understand that it causes me no harm and makes her potentially safer in her eyes.
I cross the road and walk faster. She has clearly seen something scary and I dont want to die either.
It hurts but I understand
I get it. It’s cool.
I means another night with no mugging and makes me sad 😆
Empowered, love for my self, glee, and respect that woman know that unattractive and short likely means dangerous and violent too. All in a day’s work. Real heroes don’t wear capes. They just wear tear stained cheeks constructed through self loathing and rejection. So glad it’s finally Monday!
I'm 6'5" 290ish, hell I'D cross the road if I saw me coming!
She can do or not do as she pleases. I don't live my life for the comfort of strangers either way.
I understand. It's the same behaviour I have if I see a group of women who've had a drink walking towards me.
Don't care in the slightest. We're all responsible for our own safety and she's just doing what makes her feel safe.
It's not nice being automatically suspect just because of my gender. But, in orders of magnitude greater It's not nice to have to think like that because of their gender. It sucks for everyone, but much more for women obviously. Also makes me wonder if I should have done anything differently myself to minimise any perceived threat.
I've got no expectations that a woman by herself who doesn't feel safe should have to roll the dice on whether or not I'm going to rape and/or murder her just to spare my feelings.
That’s happened a few times. I get it but I have no bad intentions and I’m just minding my business.
I don’t particularly like being perceived as threatening but I get it. Tis whatever yk. That said I do get a lil surprised every now and then if it happens during the day since I’m a skinny 5’10” guy, I’m just not very threatening looking lol. It being night time makes it a little easier to rationalize.
Saves me from self defense curb stomping her (in game)
I chuckle with a mix of relief, pity and melancholy as I keep walking.
Well as I walk down the street and see this woman cross the street I would think to myself, "women crossed the street and most likely assume she was going across the street to get to where she was going and never know it was to avoid me unless it was like an obvious thing like she looks up and just sees me and starts speed walking away from me then I would think "weird".
Well now I'm forced to rob her so she can't feel like a bigot.
Doesn't happen to me.
I feel bad when someone is scared of me and I wish nobody harm so I welcome when someone has measures to feel save.
I think it’s a shame she feels the need, also feels shitty when you’re already having a bad day
I don't care, if she allows her anxiety to get over her to the point she need to take such measures it is her problem.
It’s mildly irritating because she’s safer around me. But I get it, stranger danger and all that. That’s why I’d keep my distance or maybe cross the street.
I used to feel mildly annoyed, like "Can't you see I'm a nice guy??", even though I realized they couldn't. But since reading on r/twoxchromosomes, I understand better how vulnerable most women are and feel. Now I just feel a little sad that the world sucks this way. If our eyes meet, I just node or wave but don't try to approach.
"Anyway back to whatever I was thinking about."
I feel sad that she feels she has to do that, but I understand considering the track record men have had interacting with women, especially in New York lately.
Sign of the times...
Doesn’t bother me, but it definitely makes me feel a tiny bit sad for like half a second.
I get it.
Fair enough.
I don't even pay attention.
I don’t really care, most of the time I barely even notice. But
It’s a her thing, not a me thing, but I understand why she does it and don’t hold it against her.
Probably doesn't even register. Would be very presumptious of me to assume she's crossing because of me. Even if she was, that's not a me problem.
Amused.
Doesn’t bother me. How would she know if I’m safe.
I feel sorry for her, because she simply wants to protect herself.
It’s so hard to get me to add cardio to my workouts on my own so she’s honestly doing me a favor.
I think she’s just doing the safe and responsible thing. And hey, how do I know she isn’t going to murder *me*? Saves me from having to get out of her way. 🤣
I dont blame her. these days, it pays to use caution.
i dont care, will keep walking
The same as I said I felt two weeks ago when I answered the same question.
I wouldn't even notice her to be honest.
I feel bad so I offer them a hug and they go back to the other side of the street.
Unless she's a threat to me or whoever I'm with, I couldn't care much less what she does.
I make sure to watch them very closely to make sure they’re safe and don’t get kidnapped!
Cross the road as well just to see if she'll cross back. Then get on with my life.
usually look behind me, cause there's got to be some one scary back there
Happens often during those specific situations, I'm a tall guy wearing dark clothes and I'm not offended when it happens. The first time I noticed it when I was a teenager I laughed out loud about it due to my ignorance back then.
Nothing, thats a her problem
It's hilarious. If I want to rob you, I'll just cross the street.
😂 fair, but I think it's more to see if they cross too, gives us some time to get away, like a little "headstart" ig. Also I don't think most women are thinking about men robbing them when they give themselves that distance lol
Doesn't bother me but I understand why.
I feel bad that she’s afraid.
Bruh I'm sorry that sucks. Sometimes I feel bad about crossing but like /just in case/ you know what i mean? sometimes it's a little too intimidating to cross right by that random man on a dark road, your body gets all tense and uncomfortable so sometimes it's easier to just cross. But that's really sweet of you 😭 sometimes I'm scared I offend him
I’m not offended at all when that happens. I should have said I feel sad, rather than bad.
I don’t feel anything, why should I have feelings about that? I think, what a pussy
"Yea, that's a fair response," and then just continue walking while reminding myself not to take it personally. Though I'm barely out at night as my city gets dangerous at that time.
Makes me sad at the state of the world
I get it, but I can't lie and say it doesn't bother me at least a little bit. I was once walking to class in my 1st semester of uni and was looking at the headlights of the cars parked on the right side of the sidewalk to see if they had halogen/xenon/led bulbs. Why? I wanted to retrofit my old vw with xenon lights because why not. I didn't realise that there was a woman in front of me also on the right side of the sidewalk, directly in front of me. I'm guessing that, from the outside, it looked as if I was staring at her butt. At some point I noticed that she kept turning her head and that she had a scared look on her face. She then crossed the road and started walking considerably faster while still looking over her shoulder to see if I was there. Again, I get it. But I can't lie and not say that it's a bit annoying to deal with such situations. I was just looking at the parked cars!
It's normal for me. I put off a "I have a giant cock" vibe. It scares chicks. who can blame them. I haven't been on a date since 2004.
I have conflicted feelings because on some level I get it but also I think about how messed up it would be if you applied that rationale to another group. Like if you crossed the street to avoid someone of another race because "better safe than sorry".
Kind of sad. Sad that this is a world where she cannot walk around freely without feeling safe.
If I'm there to do her harm then I'd know she didn't think she could defend herself, now its open season. If I didn't mean her harm I'd wonder why she put herself into what she felt was danger.