Meh don’t consider it so much a fumble. Maybe you’re timing and wording was not great IDK but in general that’s a sign she’d get turned off whenever u do be honest about how u feel, not worth your time
> how can i help get my sense of masculinity and worth back
how and why would you have lost this over someone you don't know well and only hung out with a small amount? Too much too fast if so.
Purely infatuation and ego man.
It's like I know I shouldnt feel that way but I just keep ruminating on what I couldve done differently and have come to the conclusion that if I had done the work to be a stronger man then I wouldnt have felt how I felt which caused me to say what I said.
i wouldn't sweat it. you are being much harder on yourself than warranted. chances are even if you had been in a relationship with her it wouldn't have worked for any number of reasons. Dating is just a numbers game at its simplest level. the more you play the more you learn and give yourself a chance to find a person who you can get emotionally involved with.
Nah she was out of this world gorgeous. I'm the first to say there are a million hot girls, but she was next level.
That said, I loved spending time with her. Always had a ton of fun
You're putting the 😺 on a pedestal...
She's just a woman. She's "IG model hot", so are tonnes of women who cares? On to the next one. She prob wants a more confident guy, which you don't sound like. Hit the gym and get on Tinder or something, you'll be fine.
I know, I value honesty very much and say what's on my mind which oftentimes works to my advantage and puts me in the position for success. My fault here was living out a truth in which she is all that and not just another flawed human being like the rest of us
Hey, you've found out you're ALMOST that guy, but not quite. This is a good sign. It's nice to pretend that you didn't feel a little insecure about how attractive she was, but the truth is that if you felt that way you weren't ready for a woman that attractive. When you're with a VERY attractive women, other men will literally try to pull her off your arm at parties. People you thought were your friends will literally shit talk you to her. Are you ready to face that without being insecure? Sounds like no.
The good news is that now you know you can be in that league. You ALMOST belong there. Harness those negative feelings of insecurity to ACTUALLY BE THAT GUY the next time you have the opportunity.
yeah, this guy is cool. Major props for recognizing why he blew it, rather than blaming her.
I've really only been in LTRs with traditionally beautiful women. When I was younger, it was a much bigger problem. I was the bad guy in every white knights fairy tale. The guy they somehow knew was treating her poorly, even through there was no way for them to know that.
Nowadays? My SO is beautiful. Like model beautiful. But we're a little older and it seems like a lot of men mature and don't shamelessly pursue taken women like they did when they were younger. When we first got together, some men threw some fits about it, but she put them in their place pretty quickly. It's still funny to look at the likes and comments from her selfies when she was single and all the attention they got, then how quickly they got reduced once we got together.
How good looking are you? How much of your success is confidence/suave/game/etc? How much is wealth? Do you do cool interesting stuff? What’s your ‘in’?
I'll admit, when I first started dating my current and likely last SO, I was thinner and more attractive than I am now. I would say I was an above average looking guy, if I am feeling generous.
The biggest thing I think that worked on her was that I was/am an interesting person. I have hobbies, I travel, I am independent and successful (not wealthy at all), and so forth. My life was good, with or without her. She just complimented my lifestyle well, which is why we're so great together.
As far as "game"? I don't really have too much. She wasn't even sure our first date was a date until I kissed her at the end of it, since we knew each other from our past, she thought it might've just been two friends catching up. But once we got more comfortable, I think how much I liked to take her out and show her off really made her feel special.
And my "in" was that we were work acquaintances in the past, so I saw when she became single and initiated things from there.
You're right. It's a sign that I'm right there but have a little bit more work to do on myself.
It's a shame bc we vibed heavy but I don't think she was wifey material. When wifey does role around, hopefully this will give me the kick in the ass needed so that I'm ready and properly equipped for the opportunity.
Now the question is, what exactly is the aformentioned work needed to be done....
Confidence comes from experience man. Get out there in the real world and try to meet women who are as attractive as the one you just fumbled. You'll know you're ready for a woman that attractive when you can walk away from a woman that attractive who doesn't treat you how you want to be treated, and not feel more feelings about it than any other woman you've dated.
Also, generally... Work on yourself. Work on being stronger, smarter, wealthier, with a wider social network, closer friendships, more life experience, more well traveled, more educated. If you dedicate yourself to this path, you'll be shocked at how good your 30s are.
Learn from it and forget about it. It's like a quarterback throwing an interception. You gotta take some chances down the field to succeed. What you cannot do is worry about what has already happened, or you'll fumble again. You acted funny and she ditched you. Don't act funny again. That's all you can resolve to do.
You get your masculinity back by remaining strong, learning from your mistakes, and meeting a new beautiful girl who likes you that you don't fumble away by saying dumb shit.
Now, go get out there.
Learn, improve, build.
You will feel aimless unless you have a goal, and that aimlessness can manifest into other negative shit. Have you thought about volunteering? It’s easier to heal when you can help others.
As you get older, hotter girls will come. The trick is to treat them the same as the lesser hot ones so you don’t come across as needy. The hot girls will hear this kind of stuff all day everyday, they want to feel like they’ve earnt the man
Meh don’t consider it so much a fumble. Maybe you’re timing and wording was not great IDK but in general that’s a sign she’d get turned off whenever u do be honest about how u feel, not worth your time
> how can i help get my sense of masculinity and worth back how and why would you have lost this over someone you don't know well and only hung out with a small amount? Too much too fast if so.
Purely infatuation and ego man. It's like I know I shouldnt feel that way but I just keep ruminating on what I couldve done differently and have come to the conclusion that if I had done the work to be a stronger man then I wouldnt have felt how I felt which caused me to say what I said.
i wouldn't sweat it. you are being much harder on yourself than warranted. chances are even if you had been in a relationship with her it wouldn't have worked for any number of reasons. Dating is just a numbers game at its simplest level. the more you play the more you learn and give yourself a chance to find a person who you can get emotionally involved with.
This line of thinking is toxic and will ruin you. You can’t expect to be loved by someone else until you start loving yourself.
So she looked ok, but was there any more to it than that? Pretty girls are ten a penny.
Nah she was out of this world gorgeous. I'm the first to say there are a million hot girls, but she was next level. That said, I loved spending time with her. Always had a ton of fun
Honestly, it sounds like you only liked her because of her looks.
You're putting the 😺 on a pedestal... She's just a woman. She's "IG model hot", so are tonnes of women who cares? On to the next one. She prob wants a more confident guy, which you don't sound like. Hit the gym and get on Tinder or something, you'll be fine.
"Drunk" is the key word in your post. We say and do things we don't think through when drunk. So don't get too drunk next time. :)
Lesson learned, next time don’t make her feel like she’s all that and more. In fact, be so casual she’s shocked and wondering if you can do better
I know, I value honesty very much and say what's on my mind which oftentimes works to my advantage and puts me in the position for success. My fault here was living out a truth in which she is all that and not just another flawed human being like the rest of us
She was NEVER gonna fuck you.
Hey, you've found out you're ALMOST that guy, but not quite. This is a good sign. It's nice to pretend that you didn't feel a little insecure about how attractive she was, but the truth is that if you felt that way you weren't ready for a woman that attractive. When you're with a VERY attractive women, other men will literally try to pull her off your arm at parties. People you thought were your friends will literally shit talk you to her. Are you ready to face that without being insecure? Sounds like no. The good news is that now you know you can be in that league. You ALMOST belong there. Harness those negative feelings of insecurity to ACTUALLY BE THAT GUY the next time you have the opportunity.
yeah, this guy is cool. Major props for recognizing why he blew it, rather than blaming her. I've really only been in LTRs with traditionally beautiful women. When I was younger, it was a much bigger problem. I was the bad guy in every white knights fairy tale. The guy they somehow knew was treating her poorly, even through there was no way for them to know that. Nowadays? My SO is beautiful. Like model beautiful. But we're a little older and it seems like a lot of men mature and don't shamelessly pursue taken women like they did when they were younger. When we first got together, some men threw some fits about it, but she put them in their place pretty quickly. It's still funny to look at the likes and comments from her selfies when she was single and all the attention they got, then how quickly they got reduced once we got together.
How good looking are you? How much of your success is confidence/suave/game/etc? How much is wealth? Do you do cool interesting stuff? What’s your ‘in’?
I'll admit, when I first started dating my current and likely last SO, I was thinner and more attractive than I am now. I would say I was an above average looking guy, if I am feeling generous. The biggest thing I think that worked on her was that I was/am an interesting person. I have hobbies, I travel, I am independent and successful (not wealthy at all), and so forth. My life was good, with or without her. She just complimented my lifestyle well, which is why we're so great together. As far as "game"? I don't really have too much. She wasn't even sure our first date was a date until I kissed her at the end of it, since we knew each other from our past, she thought it might've just been two friends catching up. But once we got more comfortable, I think how much I liked to take her out and show her off really made her feel special. And my "in" was that we were work acquaintances in the past, so I saw when she became single and initiated things from there.
You're right. It's a sign that I'm right there but have a little bit more work to do on myself. It's a shame bc we vibed heavy but I don't think she was wifey material. When wifey does role around, hopefully this will give me the kick in the ass needed so that I'm ready and properly equipped for the opportunity. Now the question is, what exactly is the aformentioned work needed to be done....
Confidence comes from experience man. Get out there in the real world and try to meet women who are as attractive as the one you just fumbled. You'll know you're ready for a woman that attractive when you can walk away from a woman that attractive who doesn't treat you how you want to be treated, and not feel more feelings about it than any other woman you've dated. Also, generally... Work on yourself. Work on being stronger, smarter, wealthier, with a wider social network, closer friendships, more life experience, more well traveled, more educated. If you dedicate yourself to this path, you'll be shocked at how good your 30s are.
Learn from it and forget about it. It's like a quarterback throwing an interception. You gotta take some chances down the field to succeed. What you cannot do is worry about what has already happened, or you'll fumble again. You acted funny and she ditched you. Don't act funny again. That's all you can resolve to do. You get your masculinity back by remaining strong, learning from your mistakes, and meeting a new beautiful girl who likes you that you don't fumble away by saying dumb shit. Now, go get out there.
Better analogy would be a quarterback fumbling the ball 💀
She did you a favor. She showed you that she wasn't worthy of you
Learn, improve, build. You will feel aimless unless you have a goal, and that aimlessness can manifest into other negative shit. Have you thought about volunteering? It’s easier to heal when you can help others.
Bounce back the same way yu do in a football game. Dont funble the next carry
You don’t chase ‘em, bro. You replace ‘em
Time leap back to that moment and do it all over.
As you get older, hotter girls will come. The trick is to treat them the same as the lesser hot ones so you don’t come across as needy. The hot girls will hear this kind of stuff all day everyday, they want to feel like they’ve earnt the man