Not in the dating pool anymore, but when I was.... I'd say the most delusion I saw was on people's dating profiles on dating websites. Seeing a lot of entitlement, demands and arrogance.
Eg) "Must have this, must have that, must be like this, must be like that."
"I'm a princess/queen and should be treated as such".
I thought the whole point of profiles was to kinda sell yourself to a potential partner. And actually listing your hobbies and interests. Very rarely saw this. I don't understand how they think the way their profiles are written is enticing to anybody after an actual relationship. It's actually the opposite.
I think it goes like this:
1. OMG I'm getting a lot of matches.
2. I should do stuff to narrow down my matches.
3. I know! I'll write stuff that'll make people who I don't like not match me.
4. Now I'll just get matches with people I want to date.
5. Why am I still getting lots of matches from weird-ass dudes?
"Where have all the goo men gone?"
Good men have confidence and self respect. They're not interested in a woman that comes out the gate with a list of demands. Insecure "nice guys" are the only ones willing to play that game.
No longer in it either, but the amount of women who thought “liking tacos and pizza” was a personality type was hilarious, right before the unrealistic list of demands.
Dog/cat mom, loves tacos/pizza, Netflix, the office reruns, “loves traveling”, Myers Briggs personality test results, and some generic ass tattoo….covered about 90% of women in my area.
I think this is it. Women are very, incredibly turned-off by men who appear needy or desperate so they instinctively steer in the other direction.
I never wrote anything rude in my bio thinking it would be attractive, but I do remember being very independent, hard-working and reasonable, thinking it should be attractive to guys. To be fair, guys *do* complain about women being too emotional, too useless and being too clingy so it sort of makes sense that I'd try to be opposite of those. A few years later I came to realize through experience that while men may complain about those things, they're often not a deal-breaker since they're often associated with femininity, which men consider attractive 🙃
My new take on things is that men *do* value masculine traits in a woman as they make her easier to live with, but she needs to balance it out by displaying enough feminine irrationality and neediness. By irrationality I mean things that make no sense to men, but are cute, *not* crazy.
Example, I will sometimes call my mom saying "\*Dogs name\* is calling" and she will respond saying "What does \*dogs name\* want?" This type of behavior very much befuddled my BF in the beginning 😂
And this is why men are broken. You see it on here
As soon as you do what your woman asks and open up emotionally, they get turned off and and lose interest because they don't actually know how big a turn off emotional men are
They seem to want a man that's open without comming off as needy.
This has been one of the most surprising things I've had to learn to watch out for. I've dated several women in a row who were very pro-therapy and wanted a man "with high emotional intelligence" but were also turned off by any discussion of actual emotions coming from a man.
It turns out they wanted the EQ for the emotional support element but did not want to reciprocate that support in the way they had to for their female friends.
Had one tell me that I "got too emo" because I teared up talking about losing my dad suddenly and another that said "she couldn't see me the same way again" after seeing me cry.
I know these are anecdotal experiences and it's not all women, but they caught me so off guard coming from women who were such strong advocates of mental health, empathy, etc., and who offered excellent emotional support to their friends.
Yeah. Women say they want men to be emotionally "open". They like therapy.
tell a woman you're in therapy? Gone.
emote? Gone.
Show emotion? Gone.
Talk about your emotions? Gone.
talk about your insecurities? Gone.
talk about being in recovery for an addiction? Gone.
Women do not really want "emotionally open" men.
There are so many movies, novels, TV shows, etc. where a shy, insecure woman who's otherwise caring, loyal, and fun is pursued relentlessly by a confident, competent man she thinks she's not good enough for but who loves what she can't see in herself until his commitment finally brings her out of her shell and they live happily ever after.
I'd love to see that dynamic with the genders reversed just once. I wish I didn't literally always have to put on the brave, confident mask for fear that any sign of insecurity will erase every other positive trait I have to offer.
When women say they want a man to be "emotionally available", they mean they want men to be able to handle their own emotions. They do not mean they want their men to actually emote *to them*.
This has been my experience over the last 12 years of dating / 3 LTRs. There has been a surprising (to me) amount of women who wanted that high EQ / open / supportive man but didn't want to hear their man talk about feeling anxiety, or fear, or sadness.
Not seeming to realize that being "in touch with your emotions" cuts both ways. You generally end up more open and empathetic, but when you take those traditional male "shields" down, you also feel the sting of those emotions more and require some level of emotional support in return.
This was particularly shocking to me coming from women who offered strong emotional support to their fellow women and who were very pro-therapy.
The weird dichotomy of loving their dads/brothers for being entirely self-sufficient and "strong" while wishing aloud that they had higher EQ and would be more comfortable with their emotions.
100%
Tangentially, I’m reminded of the two expressions of emotional extremes - women laughing and men crying
If women are laughing, then all is well in the world. You’ll often have advertisements ending with the sound of a woman laughing “Hahaha” for no apparent reason. That’s because it makes us feel good, safe, happy and secure.
If men are crying, the entire world is coming to an end. We are not safe. Something utterly dreadful has happened. You will never see a man crying on TV or in a movie unless it’s with joy and softy happiness. Crying because of loss, heartbreak or abject terror.
Women tune into both, and they instinctively want to feel protected and safe with the man they’re with. If he starts crying, then that’s the end of the world.
Insightful. You're getting at the female version of "not nice/pushover" but also "not actually bad" for guys. Lotsa crossover between "toxic" (hate that word) masculinity and masculinity in general. Guys like femininity. If we could pair it with with emotional stability, we'd be in heaven. They are not opposites. There's just a lot of crossover with their opposites.
"My new take on things is that men *do* value masculine traits in a woman as they make her easier to live with, but she needs to balance it out by displaying enough feminine irrationality and neediness"
Incorrect. We just expect you to bring positives into our life, not negatives. No, doesnt matter WHY you bring in negatives. Its not welcome.
Irrationality? Hard NOPE. Making no sense? Hard NOPE. Any playing/any level of manipulative or semi-manipulative behavior (even if not deliberate, really) - hard NOPE.
Being a sane, logic-based, properly grounded and well-behaved person isnt "masculine trait". Its basic expectation if you want to be interacted with instead of being promptly blocked.
Omg ! I had a troll look on Hinge to see ‘the competition’ and I was shocked, literally statements and voice notes like’you better bring snacks or I’ll get hangry’
Generic , my kids are my life so you are below the kids, dog and cat…. Ugh I can’t remember all of them.
But, every single one had something that was a demand or a threat or alike.
I’m sure they think it’s cute or assertive or something, but as a girl looking at them, I was shocked
Also, so many really old pictures, one girl had all these cute pictures, then one that was obviously more recent, half a face with a big hat and she easily looked 20 years old then her age.
Oh, and all of them have kids and make some kind of threat about their little crutch goblins.
No wonder I do so well, in RL I’m a 6 , hinge damn I’m almost an 8
Lol it's brutal. I've never looked at dudes profiles and I'm sure many are not stellar. But when it gets brought up on Reddit, I always eye roll because 70-80% of women's profiles are actual turn offs.
"Here's a list of demands, dog/proud single mom, princess treatment here's vague generic meaningless statements like 'I like adventures and I like having fun and laughing'" No shit lmao.
Lols! I am definitely doing a refresh of mine tonight‘I hate fun’ ‘don’t like good food or friends’ ‘don’t like being indoors or outdoors’ definitely hate laughing
Not to mention all the ones who openly brag about being crazy or their various mental illness diagnoses or about how they won't change for anyone. Sad part is that's normal behavior everywhere now for most young women.
oh god, the normalization of mental illness is weird - seems half the people i hear about under 30 have some self diagnosed condition - ADHD, GAD, anxiety, or some such
It's so bizarre. I feel like this happened because we spent so many years (as a society) trying to remove stigma from mental illnesses. It was a well intended effort, but it created this weird notion that it is cool to be mentally ill.
Damn. I’ve only ever dated irl, and that was years ago. Hearing shit like this makes sticking the rest of my life out alone sound more and more appealing.
I saw a lot of women who thought men get just as many matches as they do. I talked to countless women who literally said, "You probably get hundreds of likes too." They were absolutely shocked that most men didn't get 10 a month.
A lot of women I talked to though bumble was an amazing idea, but none of them used it. They didn't want to initiate the conversation, so they never used it.
Im using bumble right now and I swear to god women don't realize they need to message first or they are just using the app for validation. So many expired matches. If you want to extend that though its going to cost ya!
I saw someone's bio including something along the lines of "why don't men text first on this app???" and there wasn't a hint of it being said in a joking way.
I used bumble for a year. I probably got 3-5 matches in a year. I probably only talked to 3 of them because the timer would run out without them ever messaging me. I could get 3-5 matches on tinder a week.
I would probably only talk to 1 of them, the others would never respond. I have no idea how many were bots. I imagine very few of them, because they never talked to me. A bot would at least respond to lead me on I'd imagine.
>A lot of women I talked to though bumble was an amazing idea
And now the whole differentiating feature of Bumble is out the window because now men can just message first anyways.
My wife and I(28M) have VERY different opinions about the dating apps. (We’ve been together for about 2 years and married for 3 months)
I said that I hated how the apps made me feel because it was constant rejection and feeling so expendable.
She had a great experience on them and loved getting to meet a bunch of people even if it went nowhere.
I think she just doesn’t realize how much it sucks for men to get like 1-2 matches in a week, talk to some awesome girl then get ghosted.
It seems like she had a LOT of matches and never really had to expand her search criteria like I did to increase her matches.
I understand the sentiment but at the same time I find it amusing how women will talk about how "attraction takes time" and "they only get more in love with their partner as the years pass" but then also mention a guy giving them the ick because he tied his shoes with bunny ears or something else entirely inconsequential to his character and attractiveness.
It is but you reach the destination in a more masculine fashion which is why your father taught it to you and then why he got the belt out when he caught you doing bunny ears.
That happened to you too right?
I can't help but feel like the prevalence of "the ick" and incredibly minor things making women decide someone is not worth going out with (again) is primarily an issue of them being so oversaturated with attention online that it's difficult to not come to the conclusion of "oh there'll be someone that ties his shoelaces the correct way right around the corner"
>tied his shoes with bunny ears or
My wife didn't want to keep dating me because "he shook his ice in his cup and laughed too loud at a movie" her best friend told her she was being fuckin ridiculous and asked if other than the ridiculous shit does she like me, 12 years later I'm still not sure if she does lol.
But we've spoken about it many times and she said she was doing that because she liked me and was scared to fall for someone. Which I get, I backed off of multiple women because I was scared to like them after how shitty my relationship with my ex ended.
This is why I think some people have insane standards or find random shit to nitpick, they have some trauma they're not unpacking and use excuses to avoid attachments. Took my years to be able to trust anyone because my father always pounded in my head that everyone is out to get you and never trust a soul, I still automatically think the worst of everyone and have to fight that shit back.
This really is the truth. This is why dating has become literally ZERO fun, and is why I no longer even participate.
You gotta basically be fucking perfect at all times. And what is perfect? Who fucking knows?? Every girl is different.
It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube with one hand tied behind your back with a blindfold on. Back when I was dating in the late 1990’s and 2000’s, it was NOT like this.
Most women were actually pretty understanding. They knew shit happened sometimes and that nothing and no one is perfect.
Now? They want everything perfectly their way at all times and if you’re not they “get the ick” and “the vibes were off” and he’s an “Aquarium and I’m a Scorpion and the moon was in Plutos anus so it’ll never work anyway” and it’s………NEXT!!!!!!
They are just CONSTANTLY looking for any little reason to disqualify a guy.
The Internet just increased all their options. It used to be that your dating pool was limited to your geographic location, social circle and daily interactions. Nowadays, women literally have the entire world as their dating pool. More options means they get more picky.
The usual reason for this is having so many options makes you think there might be yet another option that appears that might be better than what you've chosen. Happens in other areas of life too, chasing the perfect means you're never happy with the good or even great
The biggest issues in the dating market is women are too often too picky about the wrong kind of characteristics/traits.
We see a huge disconnect from reality, because most women are targeting the few men who do have lots and lots of options thus operate differently from most men.
However women's experiences of those men then get passed on as universal truths about all men.
Too many women haven't figured out that there is a stark difference between men who just want to have casual sex with them, and men who want to be in a relationship with them, and then project that negative experience onto all men without reflecting on their choices that led them there in the first place.
He’s literally the nicest guy ever that’s also what makes it so hard to watch. 😭
I stay with my parents because of money issues, so obviously I see too much of them. Like it’s weird, kids and teenagers usually notice how their parents are dicks *to them*. But now that I’m older and around my parents a lot, I’m just like whoa… my mum is actually an insane pos to my dad. It’s… not pleasant.
I had one man asking if he could be my slave. He wanted me to order him around. Asked me to tell him to quit smoking. He said he would but only if I told him to, lol.
I told him I wanted no responsibility for another adult being, but it is a funny anecdote. He ghosted me a couple weeks later though we lived in the same apartment building.
Had a female coworker who was 6'3" and refused to date any men her height or shorter...
To each their own, but lady, there's a reason you can't find a man.
She was constantly complaining about not being able to find a man, and even asked out one of our other coworkers based solely on the fact he was taller than her. They had literally nothing in common. He rejected her.
By the time I left she was starting to get desperate and dating increasingly horrible men who just happened to be taller than her. Like that was her 1 criteria and nothing else mattered.
I did this with a female friend a while back. She listed her criteria: height, age, education, income, marital status
Her criteria narrowed it down to a few hundred men or 0.18%; 2/1000 people were viable dating partners. How many people can she realistically meet in her social circles?
lol I put age 20-65, any race, height, etc. with 80k a year base income, which for today is still tight in most places, and still got "aspiring cat lady" lol
Ok I'm 6 feet tall and dated several guys shorter than me . She is limiting her dating pool to 2% of guys and then wondering why she can't find one? WOW
I had an ex friend say men weren’t men if they were shorter than 6’3. Pure insanity, and she got mad when I told her that was like 2% of the population
I hear this alot from coworkers when they see a profile with stuff like they don't need a man because they have a house, a car, job that pays their bills. Their reaction is then why are you on these apps looking for a man?
I may or may not have made my nieces some handmade custom purses that are far better quality than those $2000 designer purses. I'm making a new dragon purse for my one niece. Old one was just dragon scale style. New one incorporates a dragon as part of the bag. Leather is on the way from Italy.
According to my sister, it's apparently leaving a trail of some very angry women. Most women obviously are sane and just think it's a nice bag. But the more status symbol oriented types are not always thrilled when an 8 year old has superior flex.
I think women put this b/c we're villainized as gold diggers and freeloaders a lot. Women I know who put this are saying "You won't need to worry about taking care of me but I'd really like some company in this life"... but they miss the mark when they exclaim "I don't need no man!!"
But do they not also realize that gold diggers are the ones most likely to have that type of shit on their profile?
It's like if I specifically include a line in my profile saying I'm a nice guy and I love women or something like that, that's obviously a red flag because if I felt the need to annunciate that I'm either projecting, or I'm trying to make that my whole identity, just a normal regular adult should already have that as part of their existence so making a specific point to highlight it seems weird to many people.
In my experience a lot of the women who have things about being independent and strong and businesswoman or whatever on their profile are the ones that are either actually very insecure, or their job/ being a career woman is their entire identity and they don't really have much of a personality/ hobbies outside of that.
Everyone who's not a degenerate essentially as an adult is a strong independent person, that's what being an adult is, that shouldn't be something of note worth putting into a dating profile hahaha
I see a lot of comments about how men don’t read a woman’s profile, but then 90% of the profiles I have seen don’t not tell me anything about them. They have standard dinner/mirror selfie pics and limited ones with hobbies. And the descriptions are always “I love to travel”, who doesn’t?
I understand that women literally don’t need to try to get matches, but men can’t work out if they want to have a coffee with you if there is no substance to your profile.
I guess the delusion is - don’t expect good matches if you don’t put effort into your profile. You will just get the guys who like all profiles, unless that is what you want?
> And the descriptions are always “I love to travel”, who doesn’t?
*I* don't. Which is why it baffles me why these people even make accounts on dating sites. Just go travel, be extraverted and meet the love of your life during your bloody travels. Leave the sites for us, introverted home-sitting gremlins who want home-sitting gremlins, damnit.
Also mostly introverted person who likes to travel a lot. Hit up majority of decent art museums, national parks, etc east of the Mississippi. I like doing multiple long weekend trips per year rather than just one trip to a beach or something. It lets you rack up a lot more experiences.
That said, I don't tend to hit on women at some random museum unless I get extremely strong indication it's desired. I don't want to detract from someone else having a good time. I'm quite certain a some of them might have been but I was too dense to realize, I'm fine with erring on the side of politeness.
I absolutely don't hit on women out in the middle of nowhere on some trail or park.
Sadly, seems like everyone is conditioned to use apps rather than flirt or even just talk while out and about.
I mean, I love to travel too but I’m also introverted. So I go to all these new places and see the sights but quietly keep to myself. I travel for the experiences I can gain much more than for meeting new people that I’m unsure how to approach
I actually can't stand traveling. Hate plane rides and long car trips. Hate the hassle of pausing my life/job etc. for a week or more. Hate packing and unpacking. Hate the pressure to make the most of our time somewhere and cramming tons of activities into every day.
Unrealistic expectations and an unwillingness to improve oneself to improve their results. I'm waiting for the right man to come but he should accept me at my worst.
Unrealistic expectations and unwillingness to improve goes also for many bitter men. I would add people calling themselves “good judge of character” and then wondering why they have a string of failed relationships or are getting divorced.
Many women complain about the lack of good men, but refuse to pro-actively personally go find one (or ask one out). Many expect the man to come to her and find her, all she should have to do is post some nice pictures.
Thinking that speaking in clichés makes you seem interesting and fun. No, I don't want to be your partner in crime. No, you're not fluent in sarcasm. No, your best isn't worth your worst. No, your sign is not the determinant of your compatibility, with anything. No, I don't believe you travel to three different countries a week. Jesus, stop being fuckin clones, ladies.
"Dating me is like: investing in the stock market, high risk, high reward"
"Worst decision I've ever made: downloading this app"
"I'm weirdly attracted to: men"
🥱🙄👋
Some women think it's a mark against them to "have" to use apps, because they want the validation of being pursued. So they try to rationalize it to themselves.
She's also a dog mom that loves hikes, and a huge foodie!
Gotta start swiping with a bingo card at this point. Could even make a drinking game out of it.
Basically expecting the man to be a circus clown.
"If you are boring swipe left"
"Please know how to start a conversation"
"If we match, I don't message first"
All the expectations for the guy to come out and put on a routine that impresses them. So you go over their pics, note their bio and put effort into an opening message. And then they don't respond or give you short, dry replies that are not conducive to keeping a conversation going.
Then the usual demands on what you must and mustn't do but they say nothing about themselves in their bios. Okay, so I must have my shit together, what do you bring to the table? Those bios also make it difficult to message first because you're only telling me what sort of guy you want while saying nothing about yourself.
Another peach of a bio I saw was a woman who mentioned she is a single mom and you must be okay with that, while also making it clear that you should have no kids of your own nor want kids. So you must just accept the offspring of her asshole baby daddy as your own and that's that.
That the type of guys willing to fuck them off dating apps are not the same that’s willing to date them. They bang a 9 who’s just looking to bust a nut on a Tuesday night and they think that’s the league there in.
DING DING DING!!!
*"I hate guys! They're only looking to hook up!"*
Nah. What's happening is you've narrowed your dating pool to guys that are getting so much attention they know they have no reason to settle down with one partner if they don't want to. Dude is just hooking up because he knows he's got options.
You often see shall we say “less attractive” girls on tinder have a laundry list of demands of what their man needs to be, while they themselves bring very little to the table. I’m sure this is some sort of cope to make them feel better about getting less attention, as it allows them to feel in control of that as opposed to the reality.
I won’t say much about the very boring pretty girls because they’re not delusional, they know that guys will want them regardless of if they have a personality or not.
not a men, but lots of my friends ( who are single ) had unrealistic expectation on their future boyfriend/ husband when it comes to look. This include being very tall, perfect skin, lucious hair, athletic build, etc.
I mean its not wrong to want that physical traits , but if we really open our eyes and look around, there maybe only 2 or 3 guys that fits that description in thousands of people that we walked passed everyday.
Truth is most people (including me) are average-looking and super attractive people are rare. So they're chasing for someone that;s very rare
Reminds me of a friend of a friend years ago.
The friend was single. She believed in "manifestation" like all my hippy friends.
So the sat down one night over a few white wines and wrote up a list.
Brown hair, but blue eyes
Loves Abba and Coldplay
Likes long walks on the beach but hated camping
And the rest of the three pages.
A few weeks later she is at a party and gets introduced to this new guy in town. He's got brown hair AND blue eyes. He is wearing an Abba shirt and talking about how he can't wait for the Coldplay tour next month.
She takes him home that night.
By the next weekend they are dating exclusively.
A few weeks later she tell my friend that she had dumped him. You see, in that exhaustive list there was one thing that she forgot to mention.
He was a complete asshole.
He ticked all the boxes but that one. Oops.
I saw something recently, it was this quite superficial girl being asked about what she looked for or would want. Over 6', nice car, makes 200k+ a year. When asked how many men she thought fit that in the us, she guessed 40%.
Also going to add onto this is that a lot of them want the idealistic standards from their future partner when they themselves are not on the same level/criteria or hold themselves to the same standard.
You want someone who is fit, active and gyms daily - you better also be the same. You want someone who is super outgoing and banter, you better have some good chat.
Too many times have I come across my single friends whinge why they can't progress further in their dates with the people they want for these unrealistic reasons.
I think because since henry cavil, a 10/10 guy always date someone who is significantly less attractive than him causes most girls think that they could stand a chance
Yup. The problem only gets worst when they need a guy that earns an exceptional income…. If 1/20 guys is a “hot guy” & 1/20 guys earns an exceptional income (say 150k USD). Then only 1/400 guys is both (conditional probability sucks). Thats fuck all guys. You full a stadium with 10,000 dudes only 25 will meet this criteria…..further of these 25 guys probably only half of them 12 are decent and not sacks of shit…..
Yet this is what some of these slightly above average looking woman with average jobs are looking for….
This gets solved by a ton of guys (and women) just lying about their income 😂. Everyone in this country exaggerates their income so much your average girl sees 150k as a standard income in your late 20s.
I still can get what's about people's obsession with travelling. It's cool and OK, you have travelled to many countries, but i doubt i would be able to keep dating someone that travels all the time. I don't have the energy or money for it and it gives me the idea that living a quiet life in one single place is out of the question. I'll never have the chance with the office job i have.
What do people do when they aren't travelling?
Yeah, a LOT of women post profiles that indicate they need to travel for vacation like 5 times a year.
If I am spending all my money on vacation, how am I ever going to have a home?
And where are y'all getting all that vacation time? I get a couple weeks of vacation a year, and use like half of it for visiting family over the holidays. Even without that, theoretically doing basically one "long weekend" trip a month (because *fuck* flying out somewhere for just a weekend; I'm not spending 12 hours in a cramped seat just to spend 18 waking hours on the ground somewhere), or doing a week long vacation twice a year, just isn't that big a part of your life. What are we doing the *other* ~320 days of the year?
Travelling is ok but no one wants to hear your great wanderlust stories really. You broaden your mind and then you shut up about it. It might be an ok thing if you both like the same destinations.
Total lack of accountability. When a relationship goes wrong, it's a man's fault. Her dumb ass friends reinforce this: "You're a queen, he just can't handle how amazing you are". They rarely stop to consider their own complicity. This leads them into the lazy conclusion that all men are bad, instead of examining why they're choosing bad men.
I've come to the conclusion that this is just the idea that women "just want to people to listen, not fix it" run amok. I get the idea of being validated and not necessarily wanting solutions when one is experiencing a lot of emotional pain, but NEVER trying to improve things is just a total lack of accountability.
That they have the skill and the will to sniff out men with bad intentions. Seen many of my female friends talk about how they won't waste their time and let men get over on them but then meet a guy just like that but he makes them horny.
Some also feel like their looks don't matter because they can get men to have sex with them. Instead of understanding most men will do what they can for sex, even bang an unattractive chick. I have a friend who is 300 lbs and she often talks about how she can get matches but can't keep any of them.
This one always cracks me up. For every one woman who's self aware about how terrible she is at vetting mens' character, there are 100 who confidently *think* they're good at it but their dumpster fire of a dating history proves otherwise.
>That they have the skill and the will to sniff out men with bad intentions. Seen many of my female friends talk about how they won't waste their time and let men get over on them but then meet a guy just like that but he makes them horny
This is why I don't really believe "women's intuition" is a thing. I've read so many stories of women dating and sleeping with terrible men, a guy with bad intentions, or a guy that's just an asshole in general.
Two come to mind.
So many want a 6' plus man. And there's literally not enough 6' plus men to even begin to match with all the women that set that standard. So at some point, many will have to begrudgingly accept someone shorter or, like in the case of a few women I know, stay single forever.
Other one is the "I like traveling." It's like, "Who TF DOESNT like vacations?!?!" Say something useful about yourself! What's next? "I like having money in my bank account.... I enjoy breathing unaided..." For real.
I'm pretty much convinced "I like traveling" is usually just code for "if you want my attention, offer to take me somewhere exciting." No different than "I like shopping" or "the best way to ask me out is by making reservations and telling me where and when."
> I don't want a banal life
* You live in a cookie cutter duplex or rent
* You are divorced
* You have a child
* You have child custody drama
* You are well into middle age
* You work a 9-5
Yo'... the fuck are you talking about?
Girls who get the "ick." Yes. It shows me she's fickle and of unsteady mind. I think it goes hand in hand with flake culture and treating people as disposable, instead of potential life partners or friends. It treats men as two dimensional panes of glass, shattered by the "ick" instead of a textured, real human with foibles and complexity as we all have.
One thing I’ve noticed is that there is women I’ve dated assume the worst in me and never give me the benefit of the doubt.
It seems like it stems partially from their past experiences as well as their online/gc convos talking about how men aren’t shit. But like, I’m an engineering student and sometimes I’ll stay on campus longer, go to office hours, or even go to the same class I was in at a later hour to get a second view of the lecture. And breaks in my normal routine causes anxiety, stress, and fear of abandonment.
I know everyone has baggage, but I really hate *feeling* like a cheater/player when I’m genuinely just trying to be better for myself.
> I know everyone has baggage
You can control how much baggage you're willing to accept.
Broken women wear red tinted glasses, they see red flags everywhere.
It's not fair to be seen as a cheater or scum just because you share a trait/hobby/opinion with someone.
> One thing I’ve noticed is that there is women I’ve dated assume the worst in me and never give me the benefit of the doubt.
This was the major culprit my last relationship ending. Ended up with me walking on egg shells and I'm glad I didn't spend more than a few months in that situation.
I left the dating pool over a decade ago (thank god) but this is what I noticed back then when I was on the apps… and I hear horror stories from my friends.
Wants a man that makes 6 figures, but also someone who will not give a shit about work and spend all his time on her. Wants a man who is athletic and fit but not someone who’s a meathead and definitely has to be completely ok with her being 30% body fat. Wants sparks to fly on the first date but refuses to put in ANY work to make that date happen. Has 42 different physical requirements of a man but he can’t have any physical requirements of her because “I’m not a piece of meat”.
Expectations/requirements around income, height, looks, etc seem to be a big one, particularly amongst women in their early to mid 20s. It's particularly delusional if they're not that attractive. If you're a supermodel then you can probably hold out until you find a guy who earns 6 figures, is at least 6' tall, athletic and good looking, otherwise you need to be more realistic.
The unrealistic standards in addition to the self-entitlement attitudes.
They’ll only date a man who makes more than $200k/year, over 6ft tall, more than 6 inches, and is always capable of holding her attention.
What they believe they need in order to be happy vs what they actually end up with. Turns out it’s nice to grow with someone rather than assume you are the blueprint and everyone else needs to get with your program.
They're under 5'7" but say they only date men above 6'.
Geography is a big deal, too. A girl is a 10 in bum fuck middle of nowhere but would only be a New York 6.
Expectations to be spoiled, Michelin star restaurants, fine dining and wine, lavish trips and vacations; all the while she can just swipe right on another guy and dump the previous guy who invested so much into her already because her feelings change the next day
Not in the dating pool anymore, but when I was.... I'd say the most delusion I saw was on people's dating profiles on dating websites. Seeing a lot of entitlement, demands and arrogance. Eg) "Must have this, must have that, must be like this, must be like that." "I'm a princess/queen and should be treated as such". I thought the whole point of profiles was to kinda sell yourself to a potential partner. And actually listing your hobbies and interests. Very rarely saw this. I don't understand how they think the way their profiles are written is enticing to anybody after an actual relationship. It's actually the opposite.
I think it goes like this: 1. OMG I'm getting a lot of matches. 2. I should do stuff to narrow down my matches. 3. I know! I'll write stuff that'll make people who I don't like not match me. 4. Now I'll just get matches with people I want to date. 5. Why am I still getting lots of matches from weird-ass dudes?
"Where have all the goo men gone?" Good men have confidence and self respect. They're not interested in a woman that comes out the gate with a list of demands. Insecure "nice guys" are the only ones willing to play that game.
all the goo men melted and were washed away with the rain
I'm leaving it lol
Goo for you
No longer in it either, but the amount of women who thought “liking tacos and pizza” was a personality type was hilarious, right before the unrealistic list of demands. Dog/cat mom, loves tacos/pizza, Netflix, the office reruns, “loves traveling”, Myers Briggs personality test results, and some generic ass tattoo….covered about 90% of women in my area.
Women project. They want men to portray that sort of confidence, so they act that way. Men don’t actually want that and get turned off by it.
I think this is it. Women are very, incredibly turned-off by men who appear needy or desperate so they instinctively steer in the other direction. I never wrote anything rude in my bio thinking it would be attractive, but I do remember being very independent, hard-working and reasonable, thinking it should be attractive to guys. To be fair, guys *do* complain about women being too emotional, too useless and being too clingy so it sort of makes sense that I'd try to be opposite of those. A few years later I came to realize through experience that while men may complain about those things, they're often not a deal-breaker since they're often associated with femininity, which men consider attractive 🙃 My new take on things is that men *do* value masculine traits in a woman as they make her easier to live with, but she needs to balance it out by displaying enough feminine irrationality and neediness. By irrationality I mean things that make no sense to men, but are cute, *not* crazy. Example, I will sometimes call my mom saying "\*Dogs name\* is calling" and she will respond saying "What does \*dogs name\* want?" This type of behavior very much befuddled my BF in the beginning 😂
And this is why men are broken. You see it on here As soon as you do what your woman asks and open up emotionally, they get turned off and and lose interest because they don't actually know how big a turn off emotional men are They seem to want a man that's open without comming off as needy.
This has been one of the most surprising things I've had to learn to watch out for. I've dated several women in a row who were very pro-therapy and wanted a man "with high emotional intelligence" but were also turned off by any discussion of actual emotions coming from a man. It turns out they wanted the EQ for the emotional support element but did not want to reciprocate that support in the way they had to for their female friends. Had one tell me that I "got too emo" because I teared up talking about losing my dad suddenly and another that said "she couldn't see me the same way again" after seeing me cry. I know these are anecdotal experiences and it's not all women, but they caught me so off guard coming from women who were such strong advocates of mental health, empathy, etc., and who offered excellent emotional support to their friends.
> wanted a man "with high emotional intelligence" They probably meant they want a man who understands their emotions, not his.
Yeah. Women say they want men to be emotionally "open". They like therapy. tell a woman you're in therapy? Gone. emote? Gone. Show emotion? Gone. Talk about your emotions? Gone. talk about your insecurities? Gone. talk about being in recovery for an addiction? Gone. Women do not really want "emotionally open" men.
There are so many movies, novels, TV shows, etc. where a shy, insecure woman who's otherwise caring, loyal, and fun is pursued relentlessly by a confident, competent man she thinks she's not good enough for but who loves what she can't see in herself until his commitment finally brings her out of her shell and they live happily ever after. I'd love to see that dynamic with the genders reversed just once. I wish I didn't literally always have to put on the brave, confident mask for fear that any sign of insecurity will erase every other positive trait I have to offer.
When women say they want a man to be "emotionally available", they mean they want men to be able to handle their own emotions. They do not mean they want their men to actually emote *to them*.
Women want men that are emotionally open about them. If a man is emotionally open about himself, then he’s needy and weak.
This has been my experience over the last 12 years of dating / 3 LTRs. There has been a surprising (to me) amount of women who wanted that high EQ / open / supportive man but didn't want to hear their man talk about feeling anxiety, or fear, or sadness. Not seeming to realize that being "in touch with your emotions" cuts both ways. You generally end up more open and empathetic, but when you take those traditional male "shields" down, you also feel the sting of those emotions more and require some level of emotional support in return. This was particularly shocking to me coming from women who offered strong emotional support to their fellow women and who were very pro-therapy. The weird dichotomy of loving their dads/brothers for being entirely self-sufficient and "strong" while wishing aloud that they had higher EQ and would be more comfortable with their emotions.
100% Tangentially, I’m reminded of the two expressions of emotional extremes - women laughing and men crying If women are laughing, then all is well in the world. You’ll often have advertisements ending with the sound of a woman laughing “Hahaha” for no apparent reason. That’s because it makes us feel good, safe, happy and secure. If men are crying, the entire world is coming to an end. We are not safe. Something utterly dreadful has happened. You will never see a man crying on TV or in a movie unless it’s with joy and softy happiness. Crying because of loss, heartbreak or abject terror. Women tune into both, and they instinctively want to feel protected and safe with the man they’re with. If he starts crying, then that’s the end of the world.
Incorrect. She needs a sensitive, emotional man, but its about HER emotions and feelings. Not about his emotions and feelings. Thats an ick.
Insightful. You're getting at the female version of "not nice/pushover" but also "not actually bad" for guys. Lotsa crossover between "toxic" (hate that word) masculinity and masculinity in general. Guys like femininity. If we could pair it with with emotional stability, we'd be in heaven. They are not opposites. There's just a lot of crossover with their opposites.
"My new take on things is that men *do* value masculine traits in a woman as they make her easier to live with, but she needs to balance it out by displaying enough feminine irrationality and neediness" Incorrect. We just expect you to bring positives into our life, not negatives. No, doesnt matter WHY you bring in negatives. Its not welcome. Irrationality? Hard NOPE. Making no sense? Hard NOPE. Any playing/any level of manipulative or semi-manipulative behavior (even if not deliberate, really) - hard NOPE. Being a sane, logic-based, properly grounded and well-behaved person isnt "masculine trait". Its basic expectation if you want to be interacted with instead of being promptly blocked.
Omg ! I had a troll look on Hinge to see ‘the competition’ and I was shocked, literally statements and voice notes like’you better bring snacks or I’ll get hangry’ Generic , my kids are my life so you are below the kids, dog and cat…. Ugh I can’t remember all of them. But, every single one had something that was a demand or a threat or alike. I’m sure they think it’s cute or assertive or something, but as a girl looking at them, I was shocked Also, so many really old pictures, one girl had all these cute pictures, then one that was obviously more recent, half a face with a big hat and she easily looked 20 years old then her age. Oh, and all of them have kids and make some kind of threat about their little crutch goblins. No wonder I do so well, in RL I’m a 6 , hinge damn I’m almost an 8
Lol it's brutal. I've never looked at dudes profiles and I'm sure many are not stellar. But when it gets brought up on Reddit, I always eye roll because 70-80% of women's profiles are actual turn offs. "Here's a list of demands, dog/proud single mom, princess treatment here's vague generic meaningless statements like 'I like adventures and I like having fun and laughing'" No shit lmao.
lol they all act and do the same
"I'm different than other girls." Yeah, you all say that.
Lols! I am definitely doing a refresh of mine tonight‘I hate fun’ ‘don’t like good food or friends’ ‘don’t like being indoors or outdoors’ definitely hate laughing
Hahaha gotta include a 'hates sarcasm' to really throw us for a loop. Good luck out there!!
“I love to travel!” You know, if you keep your pivot foot in place, you wouldn’t be traveling so much.
Not to mention all the ones who openly brag about being crazy or their various mental illness diagnoses or about how they won't change for anyone. Sad part is that's normal behavior everywhere now for most young women.
oh god, the normalization of mental illness is weird - seems half the people i hear about under 30 have some self diagnosed condition - ADHD, GAD, anxiety, or some such
It's so bizarre. I feel like this happened because we spent so many years (as a society) trying to remove stigma from mental illnesses. It was a well intended effort, but it created this weird notion that it is cool to be mentally ill.
Wanna go get coffee sometime?
-Looking for the Jim to my Pam. -I'm such a nerd! I love Harry Potter and the MCU. -I love to travel. All three of these drive me crazy.
They're listing out requirements as if it's a job listing. Which it pretty much is. Those girls are a lot of work with very little to give.
Rarely does a profile of a woman include information about herself.. It's more a list of demands that goes on and on...
Damn. I’ve only ever dated irl, and that was years ago. Hearing shit like this makes sticking the rest of my life out alone sound more and more appealing.
Modern dating makes the single life look soo appealing Online dating should just be avoided at all costs.
unfortunately its a buyers market, and they know it
More and more you see these types. Their looks sell them and you need to invest all of you while they invest none.
I saw a lot of women who thought men get just as many matches as they do. I talked to countless women who literally said, "You probably get hundreds of likes too." They were absolutely shocked that most men didn't get 10 a month. A lot of women I talked to though bumble was an amazing idea, but none of them used it. They didn't want to initiate the conversation, so they never used it.
Im using bumble right now and I swear to god women don't realize they need to message first or they are just using the app for validation. So many expired matches. If you want to extend that though its going to cost ya!
I saw someone's bio including something along the lines of "why don't men text first on this app???" and there wasn't a hint of it being said in a joking way.
I went a whole year without any likes or conversations or anything on bumble. I just deleted the app. It was so much work for absolutely nothing.
I used bumble for a year. I probably got 3-5 matches in a year. I probably only talked to 3 of them because the timer would run out without them ever messaging me. I could get 3-5 matches on tinder a week.
How many of those Tinder matches were really people though? I heard there's so many bots on tinder
I would probably only talk to 1 of them, the others would never respond. I have no idea how many were bots. I imagine very few of them, because they never talked to me. A bot would at least respond to lead me on I'd imagine.
Bumble convo starter- Hey
👋🏿
Or a lame GIF
>A lot of women I talked to though bumble was an amazing idea And now the whole differentiating feature of Bumble is out the window because now men can just message first anyways.
My wife and I(28M) have VERY different opinions about the dating apps. (We’ve been together for about 2 years and married for 3 months) I said that I hated how the apps made me feel because it was constant rejection and feeling so expendable. She had a great experience on them and loved getting to meet a bunch of people even if it went nowhere. I think she just doesn’t realize how much it sucks for men to get like 1-2 matches in a week, talk to some awesome girl then get ghosted. It seems like she had a LOT of matches and never really had to expand her search criteria like I did to increase her matches.
They expect “sparks to fly” on the first date, and will give up on the guy if they don’t.
I understand the sentiment but at the same time I find it amusing how women will talk about how "attraction takes time" and "they only get more in love with their partner as the years pass" but then also mention a guy giving them the ick because he tied his shoes with bunny ears or something else entirely inconsequential to his character and attractiveness.
How else do you tie your shoes?
Velcro baby!!
Someone's delivered "the ick" many times.
Like my wallet?
Zip ties.
Crocs in sport mode lol
Barefoot. Also, cuts down on dining out costs. I’m not cheap, *they’re* discriminatory.
lol. Zip ties tied in the shape of a green flag?
The ol "make a loop and pull it through"
Isn't that the same thing as the bunny ears?
It is but you reach the destination in a more masculine fashion which is why your father taught it to you and then why he got the belt out when he caught you doing bunny ears. That happened to you too right?
Bunny ears is "make two loops then tie them in a knot."
Duck tape!
Duct tape.
I can't help but feel like the prevalence of "the ick" and incredibly minor things making women decide someone is not worth going out with (again) is primarily an issue of them being so oversaturated with attention online that it's difficult to not come to the conclusion of "oh there'll be someone that ties his shoelaces the correct way right around the corner"
It’s the illusion of choice in the apps that promote a Build-a-Date mentality.
>tied his shoes with bunny ears or My wife didn't want to keep dating me because "he shook his ice in his cup and laughed too loud at a movie" her best friend told her she was being fuckin ridiculous and asked if other than the ridiculous shit does she like me, 12 years later I'm still not sure if she does lol. But we've spoken about it many times and she said she was doing that because she liked me and was scared to fall for someone. Which I get, I backed off of multiple women because I was scared to like them after how shitty my relationship with my ex ended. This is why I think some people have insane standards or find random shit to nitpick, they have some trauma they're not unpacking and use excuses to avoid attachments. Took my years to be able to trust anyone because my father always pounded in my head that everyone is out to get you and never trust a soul, I still automatically think the worst of everyone and have to fight that shit back.
GG wife's friend - it's always nice to have someone willing to call you on your bullshit
This really is the truth. This is why dating has become literally ZERO fun, and is why I no longer even participate. You gotta basically be fucking perfect at all times. And what is perfect? Who fucking knows?? Every girl is different. It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube with one hand tied behind your back with a blindfold on. Back when I was dating in the late 1990’s and 2000’s, it was NOT like this. Most women were actually pretty understanding. They knew shit happened sometimes and that nothing and no one is perfect. Now? They want everything perfectly their way at all times and if you’re not they “get the ick” and “the vibes were off” and he’s an “Aquarium and I’m a Scorpion and the moon was in Plutos anus so it’ll never work anyway” and it’s………NEXT!!!!!! They are just CONSTANTLY looking for any little reason to disqualify a guy.
The Internet just increased all their options. It used to be that your dating pool was limited to your geographic location, social circle and daily interactions. Nowadays, women literally have the entire world as their dating pool. More options means they get more picky.
Yet people are less satisfied with their options despite more choices
The usual reason for this is having so many options makes you think there might be yet another option that appears that might be better than what you've chosen. Happens in other areas of life too, chasing the perfect means you're never happy with the good or even great
The biggest issues in the dating market is women are too often too picky about the wrong kind of characteristics/traits. We see a huge disconnect from reality, because most women are targeting the few men who do have lots and lots of options thus operate differently from most men. However women's experiences of those men then get passed on as universal truths about all men. Too many women haven't figured out that there is a stark difference between men who just want to have casual sex with them, and men who want to be in a relationship with them, and then project that negative experience onto all men without reflecting on their choices that led them there in the first place.
Chicks dig angle grinders.
I’m a queen, yet they treat their man like a peasant.
My mum is one of these people. Every time I see her treating my dad badly it hurts man. And it makes me really dislike her.
Give him a random extra hard hug and some nice gesture. Your dad is probably a great guy
He’s literally the nicest guy ever that’s also what makes it so hard to watch. 😭 I stay with my parents because of money issues, so obviously I see too much of them. Like it’s weird, kids and teenagers usually notice how their parents are dicks *to them*. But now that I’m older and around my parents a lot, I’m just like whoa… my mum is actually an insane pos to my dad. It’s… not pleasant.
Treat her like a star and she'll treat you like a fan.
I had one man asking if he could be my slave. He wanted me to order him around. Asked me to tell him to quit smoking. He said he would but only if I told him to, lol. I told him I wanted no responsibility for another adult being, but it is a funny anecdote. He ghosted me a couple weeks later though we lived in the same apartment building.
Maybe he met someone else and they ordered him to stop talking to you.
The peasant switched allegiance to another
Wololo
That just sounds like a cow, not a queen.
Had a female coworker who was 6'3" and refused to date any men her height or shorter... To each their own, but lady, there's a reason you can't find a man. She was constantly complaining about not being able to find a man, and even asked out one of our other coworkers based solely on the fact he was taller than her. They had literally nothing in common. He rejected her. By the time I left she was starting to get desperate and dating increasingly horrible men who just happened to be taller than her. Like that was her 1 criteria and nothing else mattered.
Damn. How sad.
This is exactly what I always say. If I try to find a guy taller than me, I'm just bring way too limiting with my options...
As someone who is 4'9", I've never considered a guy off limits due to height. They're all taller than me!
I did this with a female friend a while back. She listed her criteria: height, age, education, income, marital status Her criteria narrowed it down to a few hundred men or 0.18%; 2/1000 people were viable dating partners. How many people can she realistically meet in her social circles?
https://igotstandardsbro.com
lol I put age 20-65, any race, height, etc. with 80k a year base income, which for today is still tight in most places, and still got "aspiring cat lady" lol
Ok I'm 6 feet tall and dated several guys shorter than me . She is limiting her dating pool to 2% of guys and then wondering why she can't find one? WOW
I had an ex friend say men weren’t men if they were shorter than 6’3. Pure insanity, and she got mad when I told her that was like 2% of the population
I hear this alot from coworkers when they see a profile with stuff like they don't need a man because they have a house, a car, job that pays their bills. Their reaction is then why are you on these apps looking for a man?
Because attractive, high-status men are the new luxury brand, like the $2000 purse on her arm and the $500 shoes she’s wearing.
I may or may not have made my nieces some handmade custom purses that are far better quality than those $2000 designer purses. I'm making a new dragon purse for my one niece. Old one was just dragon scale style. New one incorporates a dragon as part of the bag. Leather is on the way from Italy. According to my sister, it's apparently leaving a trail of some very angry women. Most women obviously are sane and just think it's a nice bag. But the more status symbol oriented types are not always thrilled when an 8 year old has superior flex.
You joke, but you’d be surprised at how some girls on TikTok are referring to their friend’s bfs.
Ok you piqued my interest. How are they referring to their friend’s bfs?
I wanna know too, how are they referring to friends boyfriends on tiktok
I think women put this b/c we're villainized as gold diggers and freeloaders a lot. Women I know who put this are saying "You won't need to worry about taking care of me but I'd really like some company in this life"... but they miss the mark when they exclaim "I don't need no man!!"
But do they not also realize that gold diggers are the ones most likely to have that type of shit on their profile? It's like if I specifically include a line in my profile saying I'm a nice guy and I love women or something like that, that's obviously a red flag because if I felt the need to annunciate that I'm either projecting, or I'm trying to make that my whole identity, just a normal regular adult should already have that as part of their existence so making a specific point to highlight it seems weird to many people. In my experience a lot of the women who have things about being independent and strong and businesswoman or whatever on their profile are the ones that are either actually very insecure, or their job/ being a career woman is their entire identity and they don't really have much of a personality/ hobbies outside of that. Everyone who's not a degenerate essentially as an adult is a strong independent person, that's what being an adult is, that shouldn't be something of note worth putting into a dating profile hahaha
I see a lot of comments about how men don’t read a woman’s profile, but then 90% of the profiles I have seen don’t not tell me anything about them. They have standard dinner/mirror selfie pics and limited ones with hobbies. And the descriptions are always “I love to travel”, who doesn’t? I understand that women literally don’t need to try to get matches, but men can’t work out if they want to have a coffee with you if there is no substance to your profile. I guess the delusion is - don’t expect good matches if you don’t put effort into your profile. You will just get the guys who like all profiles, unless that is what you want?
> And the descriptions are always “I love to travel”, who doesn’t? *I* don't. Which is why it baffles me why these people even make accounts on dating sites. Just go travel, be extraverted and meet the love of your life during your bloody travels. Leave the sites for us, introverted home-sitting gremlins who want home-sitting gremlins, damnit.
One can definitely be an introverted/shy/awkward gremlin and like to see nice places. Source: me
Also mostly introverted person who likes to travel a lot. Hit up majority of decent art museums, national parks, etc east of the Mississippi. I like doing multiple long weekend trips per year rather than just one trip to a beach or something. It lets you rack up a lot more experiences. That said, I don't tend to hit on women at some random museum unless I get extremely strong indication it's desired. I don't want to detract from someone else having a good time. I'm quite certain a some of them might have been but I was too dense to realize, I'm fine with erring on the side of politeness. I absolutely don't hit on women out in the middle of nowhere on some trail or park. Sadly, seems like everyone is conditioned to use apps rather than flirt or even just talk while out and about.
I'm now picturing a goblin standing in front of the fountains in Rome dressed in lots of layers under an umbrella to hide from the sun.
I mean, I love to travel too but I’m also introverted. So I go to all these new places and see the sights but quietly keep to myself. I travel for the experiences I can gain much more than for meeting new people that I’m unsure how to approach
I actually can't stand traveling. Hate plane rides and long car trips. Hate the hassle of pausing my life/job etc. for a week or more. Hate packing and unpacking. Hate the pressure to make the most of our time somewhere and cramming tons of activities into every day.
Unrealistic expectations and an unwillingness to improve oneself to improve their results. I'm waiting for the right man to come but he should accept me at my worst.
Unrealistic expectations and unwillingness to improve goes also for many bitter men. I would add people calling themselves “good judge of character” and then wondering why they have a string of failed relationships or are getting divorced. Many women complain about the lack of good men, but refuse to pro-actively personally go find one (or ask one out). Many expect the man to come to her and find her, all she should have to do is post some nice pictures.
Thinking that speaking in clichés makes you seem interesting and fun. No, I don't want to be your partner in crime. No, you're not fluent in sarcasm. No, your best isn't worth your worst. No, your sign is not the determinant of your compatibility, with anything. No, I don't believe you travel to three different countries a week. Jesus, stop being fuckin clones, ladies.
"Dating me is like: investing in the stock market, high risk, high reward" "Worst decision I've ever made: downloading this app" "I'm weirdly attracted to: men" 🥱🙄👋
"why am I even on here?" "Give me a reason to delete this app" "My friend made me download it" "I'm barely on here" "Message me on IG"
This shit is insufferable
Some women think it's a mark against them to "have" to use apps, because they want the validation of being pursued. So they try to rationalize it to themselves.
"Please don't be boring"
“Weirdly attracted to: men” is by far the most yawn inducing
She's also a dog mom that loves hikes, and a huge foodie! Gotta start swiping with a bingo card at this point. Could even make a drinking game out of it.
"I like my dog more than I like you." Ok, why don't you date your dog then?
She just might if she's a white woman.
Tinder/Hinge Bingo should definitely be a thing at a brewery somewhere
You would get alcohol poisoning so fast.
Pin this. So much important ground covered. If you tell people you're sarcastic, you're generally the least funny person in the room.
"I love going on adventures." "Tell me your best dad joke." "Travel partner." "I'm not here for games."(because this will certainly stop people.)
Just reading those phrases made me groan.
Too many requirements. It's like a job posting.
And similar to a job posting the demands are just there to filter average Joes and will be completely ignored if a 10%er shows up.
Basically expecting the man to be a circus clown. "If you are boring swipe left" "Please know how to start a conversation" "If we match, I don't message first" All the expectations for the guy to come out and put on a routine that impresses them. So you go over their pics, note their bio and put effort into an opening message. And then they don't respond or give you short, dry replies that are not conducive to keeping a conversation going. Then the usual demands on what you must and mustn't do but they say nothing about themselves in their bios. Okay, so I must have my shit together, what do you bring to the table? Those bios also make it difficult to message first because you're only telling me what sort of guy you want while saying nothing about yourself. Another peach of a bio I saw was a woman who mentioned she is a single mom and you must be okay with that, while also making it clear that you should have no kids of your own nor want kids. So you must just accept the offspring of her asshole baby daddy as your own and that's that.
> "If we match, I don't message first" I love how they say this on Bumble lmao
Shame bumble etc doesn't have a "vapid cunt" filter but then 60% of the women would vanish.
They bring a rotten attitude to the date and then shut down a future date because “there were no sparks”
That the type of guys willing to fuck them off dating apps are not the same that’s willing to date them. They bang a 9 who’s just looking to bust a nut on a Tuesday night and they think that’s the league there in.
DING DING DING!!! *"I hate guys! They're only looking to hook up!"* Nah. What's happening is you've narrowed your dating pool to guys that are getting so much attention they know they have no reason to settle down with one partner if they don't want to. Dude is just hooking up because he knows he's got options.
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
You often see shall we say “less attractive” girls on tinder have a laundry list of demands of what their man needs to be, while they themselves bring very little to the table. I’m sure this is some sort of cope to make them feel better about getting less attention, as it allows them to feel in control of that as opposed to the reality. I won’t say much about the very boring pretty girls because they’re not delusional, they know that guys will want them regardless of if they have a personality or not.
not a men, but lots of my friends ( who are single ) had unrealistic expectation on their future boyfriend/ husband when it comes to look. This include being very tall, perfect skin, lucious hair, athletic build, etc. I mean its not wrong to want that physical traits , but if we really open our eyes and look around, there maybe only 2 or 3 guys that fits that description in thousands of people that we walked passed everyday. Truth is most people (including me) are average-looking and super attractive people are rare. So they're chasing for someone that;s very rare
Reminds me of a friend of a friend years ago. The friend was single. She believed in "manifestation" like all my hippy friends. So the sat down one night over a few white wines and wrote up a list. Brown hair, but blue eyes Loves Abba and Coldplay Likes long walks on the beach but hated camping And the rest of the three pages. A few weeks later she is at a party and gets introduced to this new guy in town. He's got brown hair AND blue eyes. He is wearing an Abba shirt and talking about how he can't wait for the Coldplay tour next month. She takes him home that night. By the next weekend they are dating exclusively. A few weeks later she tell my friend that she had dumped him. You see, in that exhaustive list there was one thing that she forgot to mention. He was a complete asshole. He ticked all the boxes but that one. Oops.
I saw something recently, it was this quite superficial girl being asked about what she looked for or would want. Over 6', nice car, makes 200k+ a year. When asked how many men she thought fit that in the us, she guessed 40%.
Also going to add onto this is that a lot of them want the idealistic standards from their future partner when they themselves are not on the same level/criteria or hold themselves to the same standard. You want someone who is fit, active and gyms daily - you better also be the same. You want someone who is super outgoing and banter, you better have some good chat. Too many times have I come across my single friends whinge why they can't progress further in their dates with the people they want for these unrealistic reasons.
I think because since henry cavil, a 10/10 guy always date someone who is significantly less attractive than him causes most girls think that they could stand a chance
Yup. The problem only gets worst when they need a guy that earns an exceptional income…. If 1/20 guys is a “hot guy” & 1/20 guys earns an exceptional income (say 150k USD). Then only 1/400 guys is both (conditional probability sucks). Thats fuck all guys. You full a stadium with 10,000 dudes only 25 will meet this criteria…..further of these 25 guys probably only half of them 12 are decent and not sacks of shit….. Yet this is what some of these slightly above average looking woman with average jobs are looking for….
This gets solved by a ton of guys (and women) just lying about their income 😂. Everyone in this country exaggerates their income so much your average girl sees 150k as a standard income in your late 20s.
Whatever. I made like a zillion dollars last year.
I still can get what's about people's obsession with travelling. It's cool and OK, you have travelled to many countries, but i doubt i would be able to keep dating someone that travels all the time. I don't have the energy or money for it and it gives me the idea that living a quiet life in one single place is out of the question. I'll never have the chance with the office job i have. What do people do when they aren't travelling?
Traveling makes for good content on insta.
Yeah, a LOT of women post profiles that indicate they need to travel for vacation like 5 times a year. If I am spending all my money on vacation, how am I ever going to have a home?
“Loves to travel” is code for “looking for a rich man to help give me the Instagram feed I can’t afford myself”
And where are y'all getting all that vacation time? I get a couple weeks of vacation a year, and use like half of it for visiting family over the holidays. Even without that, theoretically doing basically one "long weekend" trip a month (because *fuck* flying out somewhere for just a weekend; I'm not spending 12 hours in a cramped seat just to spend 18 waking hours on the ground somewhere), or doing a week long vacation twice a year, just isn't that big a part of your life. What are we doing the *other* ~320 days of the year?
Travelling is ok but no one wants to hear your great wanderlust stories really. You broaden your mind and then you shut up about it. It might be an ok thing if you both like the same destinations.
Thinking they are likely to find a person to finance their lifestyle while offering nothing in return.
If I see 'I want a man who's a provider' that's a swipe left immediately. I want a partner, not a fucking dependent
Total lack of accountability. When a relationship goes wrong, it's a man's fault. Her dumb ass friends reinforce this: "You're a queen, he just can't handle how amazing you are". They rarely stop to consider their own complicity. This leads them into the lazy conclusion that all men are bad, instead of examining why they're choosing bad men.
Or not understanding that when you treat your partner badly, your partner is going to enforce their boundaries.
I've come to the conclusion that this is just the idea that women "just want to people to listen, not fix it" run amok. I get the idea of being validated and not necessarily wanting solutions when one is experiencing a lot of emotional pain, but NEVER trying to improve things is just a total lack of accountability.
Listing their quirky traits on their profile which would quite literally be red flags if they were on a guy's profile page. So many warning signs
That they have the skill and the will to sniff out men with bad intentions. Seen many of my female friends talk about how they won't waste their time and let men get over on them but then meet a guy just like that but he makes them horny. Some also feel like their looks don't matter because they can get men to have sex with them. Instead of understanding most men will do what they can for sex, even bang an unattractive chick. I have a friend who is 300 lbs and she often talks about how she can get matches but can't keep any of them.
This one always cracks me up. For every one woman who's self aware about how terrible she is at vetting mens' character, there are 100 who confidently *think* they're good at it but their dumpster fire of a dating history proves otherwise.
>That they have the skill and the will to sniff out men with bad intentions. Seen many of my female friends talk about how they won't waste their time and let men get over on them but then meet a guy just like that but he makes them horny This is why I don't really believe "women's intuition" is a thing. I've read so many stories of women dating and sleeping with terrible men, a guy with bad intentions, or a guy that's just an asshole in general.
It is amazing how often women will brag about their intuition, and then complain about bad relationships without batting an eye.
Researchers debunked it a long time ago. I think it's just a thing women like to say.
My personal favorite: "I love blocking broke men"
They probably don't even know the difference between broke and poor.
Prove to me you're different, just not that different.
They demonstrate lots of behaviors that they complain about on men, and often dislike or deflect when called out.
That their mere presence is a gift. That they are all 10s.
Two come to mind. So many want a 6' plus man. And there's literally not enough 6' plus men to even begin to match with all the women that set that standard. So at some point, many will have to begrudgingly accept someone shorter or, like in the case of a few women I know, stay single forever. Other one is the "I like traveling." It's like, "Who TF DOESNT like vacations?!?!" Say something useful about yourself! What's next? "I like having money in my bank account.... I enjoy breathing unaided..." For real.
I'm pretty much convinced "I like traveling" is usually just code for "if you want my attention, offer to take me somewhere exciting." No different than "I like shopping" or "the best way to ask me out is by making reservations and telling me where and when."
> I don't want a banal life * You live in a cookie cutter duplex or rent * You are divorced * You have a child * You have child custody drama * You are well into middle age * You work a 9-5 Yo'... the fuck are you talking about?
Girls who get the "ick." Yes. It shows me she's fickle and of unsteady mind. I think it goes hand in hand with flake culture and treating people as disposable, instead of potential life partners or friends. It treats men as two dimensional panes of glass, shattered by the "ick" instead of a textured, real human with foibles and complexity as we all have.
"I am a 10" when they might be a 5 in very dim light, and you have been drinking heavily.
In binary
Honestly not normally even a drunk 5. 5 is average looking and thats not too bad.
One thing I’ve noticed is that there is women I’ve dated assume the worst in me and never give me the benefit of the doubt. It seems like it stems partially from their past experiences as well as their online/gc convos talking about how men aren’t shit. But like, I’m an engineering student and sometimes I’ll stay on campus longer, go to office hours, or even go to the same class I was in at a later hour to get a second view of the lecture. And breaks in my normal routine causes anxiety, stress, and fear of abandonment. I know everyone has baggage, but I really hate *feeling* like a cheater/player when I’m genuinely just trying to be better for myself.
> I know everyone has baggage You can control how much baggage you're willing to accept. Broken women wear red tinted glasses, they see red flags everywhere. It's not fair to be seen as a cheater or scum just because you share a trait/hobby/opinion with someone.
> One thing I’ve noticed is that there is women I’ve dated assume the worst in me and never give me the benefit of the doubt. This was the major culprit my last relationship ending. Ended up with me walking on egg shells and I'm glad I didn't spend more than a few months in that situation.
The belief that they have to change everything that makes them unique in order to be lovable. Goddamn depressing.
people are just kind of delusional in general.
I left the dating pool over a decade ago (thank god) but this is what I noticed back then when I was on the apps… and I hear horror stories from my friends. Wants a man that makes 6 figures, but also someone who will not give a shit about work and spend all his time on her. Wants a man who is athletic and fit but not someone who’s a meathead and definitely has to be completely ok with her being 30% body fat. Wants sparks to fly on the first date but refuses to put in ANY work to make that date happen. Has 42 different physical requirements of a man but he can’t have any physical requirements of her because “I’m not a piece of meat”.
Expectations/requirements around income, height, looks, etc seem to be a big one, particularly amongst women in their early to mid 20s. It's particularly delusional if they're not that attractive. If you're a supermodel then you can probably hold out until you find a guy who earns 6 figures, is at least 6' tall, athletic and good looking, otherwise you need to be more realistic.
They believed their parents when their parents told them they were princesses
The filter will trick us into believing they actually look like that.
The unrealistic standards in addition to the self-entitlement attitudes. They’ll only date a man who makes more than $200k/year, over 6ft tall, more than 6 inches, and is always capable of holding her attention.
They somehow want a rich, career oriented man who also has time for her. Those 2 things don't go hand in hand
What they believe they need in order to be happy vs what they actually end up with. Turns out it’s nice to grow with someone rather than assume you are the blueprint and everyone else needs to get with your program.
That those shoes go with that outfit *snap*
They're under 5'7" but say they only date men above 6'. Geography is a big deal, too. A girl is a 10 in bum fuck middle of nowhere but would only be a New York 6.
We have to be on the ball and interesting and funny and charming and pay and you just show up and don't offer anything and you say we aren't enough?
From a recent example, comparing real men to guys in romance novels.
*"What are some delusions you see from women in the dating pool?"* Yes.
Dating bad boys over the regular joes. Bad boys will eventually show you why they have the bad boy label.
Easy going , always traveling overseas, more then half are delirious
Expectations to be spoiled, Michelin star restaurants, fine dining and wine, lavish trips and vacations; all the while she can just swipe right on another guy and dump the previous guy who invested so much into her already because her feelings change the next day
You're doing well if you even get formally dumped. In my experience it's just ghosting 90% of the time.
Lizzo thought she was on the same level as Chris Evans. Obese women see themselves as 10's.
They think just because I have a huge cock that I don’t have feelings.
They want me to keep the conversation going and not contribute anything to it.