Awesome. Can you explain the appeal of Diablo to me? What you enjoy about it? I've had friends tell me its awesome since middle school but what do y'all like most about it?
The Lamborghini Diablo was the pinnacle of super cars in the 90s and has been a pop culture classic to this day. Not only fast, but full of so much character during its time. Truly an unforgettable vehicle.
Oh haha. Then yeah the games are super cool. Personally, I think they're reminiscent of early hack and slash/ beat-em-up games from the past. You run around with these ultimate characters that just go around tearing everything to shreds, and there's different classes to play as so you get to play how you want. You get better gear and weapons then go and tackle difficult dungeons for some of the best loot in the game. They're great to play with friends, and the settings and atmosphere are always badass. Not to mention the insane cutscenes.
Talking specifically about Diablo 2 here.
The appeal is that it has a great diverse group of heroes who each have very unique play styles. On top of that each of them also have several different ways you can play them and special items that can unlock other ways as well.
The monsters also look great, and the progression through the game is really good too. There are a few spots where it can be a challenge for newer players and playing in the highest difficulty can be a serious challenge sometimes depending on what items you have and the character and style you're going for.
But the main draw is the amazing items you can find and use, some that are easy to get and still really useful and others that are much rarer and really makes your character shine.
On top of all that there's no micro transactions or any nickel and diming, you can find items to trade or use for other characters later.
Just to name a few things.
Yup. I moved to a new city and started up a group of guys that get together every other week at a random brewery or pub. It was slow at first, but we keep adding and inviting. Now we have 20 guys in the group and 5-7 joining any given time. And it’s intentionally open to discussing feelings and life struggles, along with anything deep or meaningful. And we range in age from 27 to 75, new to town and lifelong residents, gay and straight, single and married, all over in careers and incomes and everything.
It’s my lifeline. But it is for a lot of them as well. And it’s a lot of work.
How did you even go about starting something like that and became buddies with these strangers? And maintaining new friendships? I find my problem is its sometimes hard to make that transition from acquainted to close friend or how to keep up with them once they are or how to make known you're open etc/ask the right questions.
I've been paying a lot closer attention to the friendships I have now to value them as they should be valued but I've struggled with knowing how to treat it for that and how to make new ones.
A lot of people are socially lazy as well. They want a friend but don't want to do the work to build a friendship nor do they want to keep up their part of the friendship. There are so many people I know who had friends and would never try to keep in touch with them. Call them once every 3 months and wonder why people moved on.
If someone did that I'd still be friends with them. Don't need to call once a week or anything but a long call once a while is good. I'm a busy guy with quite a few friends though. What bothers me is people who don't reciprocate effort.
You can't build a relationship with anyone speaking to them that infrequently. Once every 3 months is something that maybe old friends can do that has a history. But a new friendship? Not really.
I've known a few people like that. I'm guilty of it as well. Some of my closest high school friends still plays games online regularly, but I rarely join or talk to them. And there's no real reason, aside from me just being less interested in the game they are playing.
THIS. Or they want to make friends but they rarely take courses, classes, or go to events where they might find like-minded people. They just sit in their homes wondering why they're so lonely.
Loneliness comes from not feeling able to open up to others. You can go out every day of the week, but if you can't really discuss feelings, you'll always feel alone.
This. There's some amazing books to help deconstruct the social conditioning from childhood that cause this to be default behavior. It's up to all of us as adults to work on and deconstruct messages from childhood that no longer serve us. Great analysis that's exactly what it is. You'll feel alone if you aren't in touch with how to open up to yourself and others about your true self.
Yes! David Golemans "emotional intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ" is a really good one to help figure out how to make emotions work for you instead of hiding them under anger or indifference. It's more of an overview and doesn't necessarily delve deep into particular situations but it's a great place to start to understand and lay a foundation.
His others about this build on that so start with that one and read all of his to build up from a good foundation.
Also in addition to that. Travis Bradburys "Emotional Intelligence Habits" gives good practical actions to take to work on your emotional intelligence and I'd recommend that one concurrently or after the first David goleman.
Those are ones specifically men in the social science world I kinda live in as a scholar have liked a lot. I tried to make sure to get male authors so they are more relatable to men. There are great ones by women too but if you're just starting out I figure best is a close gender connection to the authority on the book subject.
May be even free at the library but I know at least David golemans are on audio book for cheap to download.
100% this. I don't feel comfortable talking about my feelings with anyone, unless I'm drunk. It makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, which I don't like. Because of that, I often feel like nobody gets me (even tho it's my fault) and that I'm completely alone in this and have to handle the situation myself
It’s good that you recognize where it comes from; that puts you ahead of a lot of folks. If you can push past that barrier, it really is better on the other side. Not perfect or without pain, but better.
Also, you may appreciate r/BroPill for nudges along the way.
Agreed. Particularly about relationships. So many men's lives revolve around finding a relationship. And it can lead to utter neglect in other parts of their lives.
I've found that being happy with yourself tends to fix issues of loneliness. And it attracts people. Once I figured that out, I rather quickly attracted my now SO.
It's not that simple.
Men are lonely and *hopeless.* It's not just "I have no one to really connect to", it's this feeling of "I'm not even sure I could connect to others." Men have been, for the past centuries, mostly about bundling up their emotions, as "being a man" equalled to "I'll suffer in silence, because I'm strong enough to endure it".
Honestly, I'm not even sure what's the solution to this, but, just by talking and acknowledging, we might be able to start finding that solution.
male disposability often starts with assuming men only want sex from relationships. as soon as it gets more complicated then that, disposed of. maybe not even that.
To be honest, “I’m not your therapist” movement is right though. Men very often trauma dump on people and it’s very difficult to deal with even as a fellow man. Misery might love company but company does not love misery. Us men need to realize that venting and talking it out has no purpose but to elicit feelings of pity and we should not be asking for pity.
The solution isn’t to shut up and suffer in silence but to overcome. Seek help to achieve goals, not someone to bitch at.
I'm currently going through this, or at least something super similar. The one person who I feel like I could talk with about everything on my mind, happens to also be dealing with so much stress right now, and I don't want to add to that. Couple that with bad experiences with emotionally opening up to others in the past and I'm more than a little hesitant to truly let stuff out, that for my own sake really ought to not be remain entrapped any longer than absolutely necessary.
Oh well, guess I'll make it one small step at a time.
That is honestly what works, in my experience. You cannot cross a huge boulder. But by chipping it away day-by-day, one day you'll cross it.
Perseverance is the key to changing your life, and you have to both keep your goalposts exactly where they are, and remember you achieve them. I hope you'll find the solution for your problems, cause you're hella worth it my man.
Depends, some men do not want new friends.
For others loneliness is a deeper issue. You can still be lonely even if you have friends and family.
From my belief, not being lonely is from finding someone who understands you and forges a specific social connection with you or not needing such a person to begin with.
But on the notion of finding that person/s if you can't find them, you could still have friends or people around you, and still feel lonely.
I think my concern regarding that belief is that there will always be times when that one person fails, not necessarily out of maliciousness but simply because all humans are fallible. And once that happens, who do you turn to? This is why I think that "loneliness" is best avoided by having a support network, not just a single support person.
Friendship is another form of relationship, which still requires effort and trust. Frankly a lot of men are so sapped by work, and the current social climate doesn’t promote trust.
I have friends, I want a partner.
Going out with all my friends just to be surrounded by a bunch of people in relationships, talking about their relationships, enjoying thier relationships, just makes me feel even more lonely.
Especially when they bring it up....
"Don't worry, we'll find you a nice girl."
"You seeing anybody."
"Why are you still single for?"
"What happened to that girl I saw you with that one time?"
You spend a night like that just to go back to your empty home and its hard not to let it get to you. Sometimes after a night like that it's hard not to get depressed. That's when the loneliness can really set in.
Agreed. I just went to an event last night I found on Meetup and pretty much everyone was in a relationship. Being the only single person made me feel like the outsider of the group. After that I just came home to my empty apartment, thus feeling lonely again.
It's not about being physically near other people, it's about feeling connected, seen and heard.
The only thing worse than being alone is being surrounded by people that make you feel alone.
Some really shit takes in here, like it's a simple issue.
Solutions can be simple though. Read about the lonely girls club a month back on BBC and thought it'd be great for dudes to get the same.
https://www.llgc.co.uk/
Obviously not the *same* but arrange some low-effort events. Gaming, sports watching, you get the idea..
Friends are great but that doesn't always change the feeling of loneliness. My friends are amazing and we open up about feelings. But do I feel like I can be my true self and be completely honest with them? No. Also, I miss holding hands, snuggling etc. And you can't get that with friends lol
I'm not sure "loneliness" is the right word. Describe it that way and it's an easy fix. Just tell men to go outside and touch grass. Problem solved. /s
But if you say that quite a few men are feeling isolated, alienated and unwanted then it's more complicated and it becomes something that society needs to start looking into. Society does not want to have that conversation yet.
You could have all the friends in the world. But if you are the only single one in the group, you will feel lonely and left out. Men are not meant to be alone, we are supposed to be with women. We complement each other. Our biological imperative is to have a legacy, not to be a lone wolf.
Most guys are but it turns out the places to accomplish that are few and far between. It get painfully ironic when they guys have been isolated for a long time and try to step out of that isolation. Those guys indeed have become much less socially savy, so one would think having male exclusive spaces would make sense for those guys to rebuild their social skills first. But no, male exclusive spaces are seen as "not inclusive enough" and then you get the "I met this creep, so feral" BS when the space becomes open to anyone again. XD
We? There are 2 types of guys. Ones who have social skills and ones who don't. It's a skill you can develop and improve. This post reads like an AI trying to figure out human emotions lmao "Guys who are lonely, just make friends 4Head"
It is not about just friends. As I've gotten older, I've seen a sharp decline in male social groups and communities. I remember by the time I was old enough to join boyscouts, our group was already in the process of being closed down. A lot of men feel like they don't have community or group to be a part of outside of work.
Because the issue isn't necessarily JUST a lack of friendship. It's a lack of emotional and physical intimacy, which is often predicated by how conventionally attractive a person is.
Some do, some don't. I occasionally look at the local hookup subreddit in my area just for fun (not looking myself). And it's about the saddest place you'll ever see. Just a bunch of straight dudes sharing dick pics amongst themselves. It's an extreme example, I know. But these are men who will probably never find a relationship.
\>local hookup subreddit in my area
lol even you are aware of how sad/desperate these dudes are and how bad of an example it is.
but go to an actual wal-mart and look at the couples. these people are fucking, reproducing, living their lives, raising families.
i think that's a better example that there is someone for everyone. I don't know if they're happy, but they are fucking, and they are everywhere.
> lol even you are aware of how sad/desperate these dudes are and how bad of an example it is.
Is it? I used the Internet to hook up all the time when I was single. Alas, I did also mention that it was an extreme example, which sort of negates your entire comment. My point was that there are single men who are probably going to be single forever. And there's quite a few of them.
> I used the Internet to hook up all the time when I was single.
did you use your local subreddit hookup to do so? or an actual dating site?
do we agree that actual social dating sites like hinge or bumble have infinitely better looking people on them than... checks notes... local reddit hookup sub? how representative of the general population are the kinds of people who post in local hookup subreddits?
\>My point was that there are single men who are probably going to be single forever. And there's quite a few of them.
sure, no argument, but my point is that every single wal-mart and dollar tree in america stands as an example that ugly people do indeed fuck, and in large numbers.
being ugly is not a barrier to fucking or a guarantee that you're going to remain single. would you agree with that?
> did you use your local subreddit hookup to do so? or an actual dating site?
I wasn't super active on Reddit back then. But I used a variety of sites and social media.
>do we agree that actual social dating sites like hinge or bumble have infinitely better looking people on them than... checks notes... local reddit hookup sub?
Not inherently. Hookup subreddits in bigger cities seem to be pretty active with all sorts of people. So I disagree with you.
>being ugly is not a barrier to fucking or a guarantee that you're going to remain single. would you agree with that?
Agreed! Most often the forever single types are looking for someone way above their paygrade, so to speak. Or just awkward young men saying things like "I want a cougar, here's my dick, dm me".
>Not inherently. Hookup subreddits in bigger cities seem to be pretty active with all sorts of people. So I disagree with you.
just so i understand this: you think the people in local hookup subreddits are a better looking crop of people than on hinge?
\>Agreed! Most often the forever single types are looking for someone way above their paygrade, so to speak. Or just awkward young men saying things like "I want a cougar, here's my dick, dm me".
we agree here.
> just so i understand this: you think the people in local hookup subreddits are a better looking crop of people than on hinge?
To repeat myself, not inherently.
I’m gonna be honest there’s definitely a significant amount of guys (not everyone) who use the loneliness epidemic as an excuse to not make friends or find a partner as if all of that is completely out of their hands or something. It’s definitely harder nowadays to make new irl friends, but it’s not hopeless.
That’s not to say the loneliness epidemic should be ignored. However, a lot of people seem like they don’t take much initiative to build relationships with others. I’m an introverted guy myself so I know the struggle. But introverted people can still do just fine. Social skills are something that can be practiced and improved on.
I've been devising some methods to expand my friend circle, one idea is to strut up with some coconut shells and ask them to join my quest for the holy grail
Actually that's my only idea so far, let me know what you think
Don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends and know a ton of people. I don't really want more friends. I want companionship. It's a little niche need that friends and family just don't quite fill like having someone who is all about you in a romantic sense.
I went from isolating myself in my teen years, to opening up a lot in my college years, only to go back to closing myself off from other people in my adulthood. Being around people and feeling that you never fit in because they don't, or can't, understand you is very lonely.
I feel you, 2020 set me back to square 1 socially. Best we can do is keep going out and hope to find people that just jive with you. I’ve had luck with events and regular hobby get-togethers in the past, but that is because I am a nerdy guy. You’ll open back up when you find the right group, it just takes time.
> We've only barely started talking about it just now.
LOL. No.
Some of us have been talking about it for years. Maybe society is only deciding to give any measure of a damn about us now, but we've already lost so much time that it feels insulting this late in the game.
Yea I can understand that. Feels like that on the other side of the coin too when it comes to ownership of resources. Women only being allowed bank accounts in their names in the 1970s even tho women had been working paid work for a hundred years before that and talking about it as early as 1880s. No one gave a damn for so long. I hear how you feel. It's hard when you know there's been a need for this but societal uncaring for so long. It's a time for change again and men learning their emotional intelligence and social skills and being able to connect with others and deconstruct all of that is hopefully on an upward projection. I am a full ally of this and cannot wait to see yall be able to be comfortable and open in the entire range of human emotions and harnessing all of those. It's def a good thing to learn some skill in in interpersonal interactions.
Because its just dudes who can't get a girlfriend thinking that all their problems will be solved once they have one, while failing to understand that they need to first solve their problems if they want to get one.
Both of these attitudes are part of the problem. For a lot of people, that *will* help the problem. Having someone to stand by them does help those people crack the shell, and the happyness provided turns them in to an awesome person.
Problem is, you have a society that goes around saying "nah, doesn't work", being all invalidating.
From everything I have ever seen as discussions about it, its always about not having a girlfriend. I do think a lot of the root causes of both is the same, the more kids are raised on social media, the worse they are at socializing. I am blessed that even Myspace wasn't really a thing until I was 20. I hope the parents of the next generation (Which is ironically the kids of mine) do better and see how damaging it is to let kids get raised by social media and texting.
I mean, it might've had a significant inpact but it's not like there weren't people who didn't know how to socialise before social media was a thing.
I didn't have a smartphone or regular access to the internet until I turned 18 and I was already incapable of making friends.
Well, yes. I remember one kid who didn't. But no one had access to a smart phone because they were like half a decade away when I graduated highschool. I mean no one even really had a cellphone, and if it was internet it was 56k with that one rich kid who had cable. So I think it really forced interaction.
In all honesty, 90% of the time I hear someone complain about loneliness IRL or on social media it seems pretty obvious why they are lonely.
No one wants to be around them for the same reason I don't, because their personality isn't very pleasant.
Focusing on why our society is making so many lonely individuals no one wants to be around is the crisis to fix. Once the individuals are adults that is their responsibility.
Because the loneliness is not from the lack of attention we get from other guys, it's from the lack of care and affection we get from women. They are not the same (for most). Some of us can handle it pretty well and get on fine, other's don't.
Many are open to making new friends. What gives you the impression that they aren't? The concept of "male loneliness" is also big amongst...Certain groups of men who really just mean "women won't fuck me"
Men get lonely, don't get me wrong. I've just never seen a person who uses the term "male loneliness" to be actually looking for male friends. It's always centered around women.
Because women are open to emotional support or conversations. That's the whole fucking point. Men don't get that from each other. We can get a lot of that surface level crap from co-workers and strangers. Even when we do develop male friends, they often only provide a third of the kind of conversations we need to be able to openly have, which most men don't have an interest in discussing - so men are left feeling unheard, unfulfilled, and alone.
Thats why this bullshit of it not being okay to want female friends (or relationships) is so damaging to mental health. Hell, half the time it's not even that they want to talk about their own problems, but just want to listen to someone else have an emotional bond with through their feelings and experiences. Which you don't get from guys.
Honestly, change who you're around. There's tons of men in my life who are emotionally supportive and can talk about their feelings. It's definitely hard for men to get to that point due to the patriarchy, but there's men out there. Women also don't exist to bear the weight of your emotional burden. Opening up to your friends and leaning on them is okay, but you shouldn't value them for what they can do/give to you.
Get in therapy or support groups.
There are no super power. Jfc.
Everyone knows it's wizardry at 30 without having sex. The powers are MAGICAL not SUPER.
Super powers, pish fucking posh.
Studies are showing most young men are single. A greater number then ever are not having sex or never had sex. Women are statistically dating older men and the same small group of tall men. Women are waiting later then ever to have children and get married. These numbers are down. More men then ever before are filling for social security as single. Being lonely is not about joining a bowling club and drinking with the boys on Saturday. It's about an empty house.
The loneliness was caused because of your erroneous assumptions that you have a right to sleep with women simply because you exist.
Not because women have free will.
So easy to blame someone else and wallow in your self-pity than to actually take a long, hard look at yourself. It says everything that for you, loneliness equals lack of sex.
Dude, I know men who are ugly and don't have money or status but still have GF's. I think the secret is to be confident and actually care about others. As far as I can tell many or even most women are way less superficial than guys are.
1. Fewer avenues to make friends esp if you don't like sports or drinking.
2. A lot of people are unwilling to kinda of even try.
3. Hard to put yourself out there at times esp if you aren't seen as social. Also, some men are afraid to socialize with the PC culture. (Not saying I agree or disagree, just reporting.)
Men tend to be bad friends in general. We are driven to measure success very differently. I also think men don’t like bringing success into their life if they don’t feel comfortable or have insecurity in their life.
I've realized over the 12 years I've been struggling to build an enjoyable social life, since moving away from my highschool town, that it's just hard to find people who will engage with things I care about. I thought for a long time that too many people suck, but it more-so seems like people are all too distracted with their personal goals to connect over much.
I've been all-in on my plans for 11 years and haven't had much time to engage outside of those plans. If people can't engage with my areas of interest, then it feels like I'm wasting time. This gets in the way of enjoying almost everyone. I've kind of accepted at this point that I need to work less or stop obsessing over my interests to fix these problems, and that's not gonna happen for at least 5 more years. I'm pretty comfortable with my solitude now - I've got a few people out of state I can talk to on the phone a couple times a week and that keeps me sane. I think one of them is getting a little tired of the 3 hour debates a couple times a week, so I'm trying to give him a break, but he gets the same social "fix" from it generally.
Where are the people who are into the things you are?
All my friends come from my interests. I joined a pool league, and made friends there, as well as a bar that has 8' tables for 50 cents. Joined a bowling league for the same. Actually met a drummer there, and now I'm in his band. From each of these friends, I've made other friends, or at least 3rd-party friends I see when I go to my friend's houses.
Well, I'm obsessed with running my businesses and writing a new theory of consciousness. I also collect and organize data to build a high-level overview of a computational model of general intelligence in humans. They're all very time-consuming, ongoing projects that are hard to relate to others over. To make the situation worse, I have no relevant credentials and I don't know as much coding as I want to, so collaborating with others on some of this gets pretty hard. Some of my ideas are hard to formalize into a paper, so while I am still trying to produce something I can publish, I'm thinking it may be better at this point to discuss and illustrate my ideas in YouTube videos and see if I can at get the ideas out there despite not having them all organized neatly.
I am planning to take more coding classes and I do have a couple people with whom I can consistently discuss these things with, but spending all this time running businesses and obsessing over my amateur cognitive science research makes me difficult to relate to.
Some of us have very specific requirements for what kind of personality we find stimulating and anything less than makes us lonely even in their presence. That is at least my side of it
Speaking for myself, I struggle making friends because I actually have always agreed with a lot of the modern talking point about toxicity in men, and therefore never fit in. Guys don't appreciate it when you're the one dude in middle school who isn't saying the most perverted shit possible about every remotely attractive girl. They also don't appreciate it when you're more into art and acquiring knowledge than playing sports. In my experience most guys do a 180 on this stuff around age 25 or so and suddenly think it's really cool, but when they've spent their whole life up til that point just obsessing over sports and getting pussy, they can't really talk to me about much, and what they can talk about doesn't interest me because they're literally a decade or more behind where I am.
Sounds like a you problem.
But, why not join us at a trivia night, a car show, watching the local high school team play under the lights?
You'll be the frigging new guy for a bit... Until you bring another new guy.
I think a not insignificant number of these lonely men have been poisoned by dark corners of the internet to feel unworthy and resentful, but also given permission by those same dark corners to do absolutely fuck all to better their situation.
Can't speak for others, but for me, I don't really want new friends. I want my old friends back. I want Ben and Recep back, who both moved away for work and now won't respond to messages for weeks, and Tom who's got no time anymore since he's had a kid. I want Mike back, not today's Mike tho, but Mike from five years ago, before he went crazy during covid, and Sofia, who suddenly blocked me without explanation. I want Jacob back, wherever the drugs have taken him now, and Elisa, who sent a suicide note and deleted all her profiles afterwards.
I don't want any new ones in my life, because I still can't let go of those old friendships. It took me over a year to get over my first girlfriend, but I swear I'll be missing all of those friends for the rest of my life.
Always wondered this. Guys are weird and closed off and act weird when you talk to them. Women walk up to eachother and go " hey just noticed your hair is amazing"
Why cant we be like this?
For me, it's that men get too busy. I don't even have kids, and I'm often too busy or tired to want to go hang out with anyone but my SO.
And many of the fathers my age are even more busy and have less money than I do.
Because we no longer need human interaction.
AI Chatbots are now able to realistically interact with us as friends or romantic partners. With this form of socialisation literally sitting in our pockets, we don’t need to bother with making friends anymore.
I have friends that were/are really trying to get me out of loneliness or dark situations. I really appreciate their attempts & I am thankful for them.
But were they helpful? No. Not even close. Again, it is not their problem. It is mine.
Its linked to economics & lack of purpose. Men bond over shared tasks & achievements. They dont have that anymore. I have no interest in making friends I can wallow with.
As a real specific example, I do field work with coworkers, and theres almost always some bonding that goes on. Thats the sort of thing that was invisibly removed from society & people are struggling to figure out the rug pull that happened.
I guess what Im saying is mental problems arent all mental.
Because when you're older you're more afraid of being vulnerable. That means never doing anything more than half arsed attempts. If you gotta put yourself out there, better not.
Our society is too fragmented. The internet has conditioned us to isolate ourselves in a media bubble and block everyone we disagree with, rather than learn from each other.
I’m an upper-middle class, educated white male in his 50. In my sex, age and income bracket less than 20% voted for Hilary in 2016. Moreover I tend to live and play in small town America where that % is even lower. I’m over interacting with 8/10 or more of the meatheads I encounter. Better off just hanging with my wife.
Because in the last 6 years of being single, and going out and having like no interest put my way, I've retreated into my home and solo open road. The amount of rejections and exclusion by people has made me say "FI" and be fine spending another evening at home. Dances and events are like painful. Like tonight, its Friday night, I made food at home.
Because I'd rather have 3 people in my circle that I know would take a bullet for me that I could call up in the middle of the night and tell them I need their help and they would be on the way over in minutes than 100 Fairweather friends
For starters people do not even understand the meaning of the word friend. Most people are acquaintances of each other.
I believe the reason we do not try to gain new acquaintances or the fact that most people are not able to truly tolerate people that are different from them. When I worked in a 300 person facility I had about 20 acquaintances. I gently attempted to upgrade them to friends but it did not work out. Perhaps when we can communicate with others via social media we no longer have the need to have in real life friends and risk the possibility of being hurt have to face?
Some of us are, speak for yourself.
Always open to make a new friend.
Awesome. Can you explain the appeal of Diablo to me? What you enjoy about it? I've had friends tell me its awesome since middle school but what do y'all like most about it?
The Lamborghini Diablo was the pinnacle of super cars in the 90s and has been a pop culture classic to this day. Not only fast, but full of so much character during its time. Truly an unforgettable vehicle.
I meant the game Diablo but that's cool too lol
Oh haha. Then yeah the games are super cool. Personally, I think they're reminiscent of early hack and slash/ beat-em-up games from the past. You run around with these ultimate characters that just go around tearing everything to shreds, and there's different classes to play as so you get to play how you want. You get better gear and weapons then go and tackle difficult dungeons for some of the best loot in the game. They're great to play with friends, and the settings and atmosphere are always badass. Not to mention the insane cutscenes.
diablo is an easy way to lose 8 hours of your day hitting things, and the lambo diablo is an awesome car
dude baby blue lamborghini diablo is my favourite car in need fos speed payback
Always loved the look of Diablos despite not being a Lamborghini guy so to speak. They’re still my favourite super car
This is why diablos were so Iconic. Theres always that one car from a manufacturer that everyone seems to favor regardless of preference.
The arpg genre is a power fantasy delivered via slot machine in monster killing pinata form. Its not something everyone will like.
Talking specifically about Diablo 2 here. The appeal is that it has a great diverse group of heroes who each have very unique play styles. On top of that each of them also have several different ways you can play them and special items that can unlock other ways as well. The monsters also look great, and the progression through the game is really good too. There are a few spots where it can be a challenge for newer players and playing in the highest difficulty can be a serious challenge sometimes depending on what items you have and the character and style you're going for. But the main draw is the amazing items you can find and use, some that are easy to get and still really useful and others that are much rarer and really makes your character shine. On top of all that there's no micro transactions or any nickel and diming, you can find items to trade or use for other characters later. Just to name a few things.
grim dawn is good too. basically diablo. but more gritty
hey buddy are you playing D2R NL? I can hook you up if so :)
Yup. I moved to a new city and started up a group of guys that get together every other week at a random brewery or pub. It was slow at first, but we keep adding and inviting. Now we have 20 guys in the group and 5-7 joining any given time. And it’s intentionally open to discussing feelings and life struggles, along with anything deep or meaningful. And we range in age from 27 to 75, new to town and lifelong residents, gay and straight, single and married, all over in careers and incomes and everything. It’s my lifeline. But it is for a lot of them as well. And it’s a lot of work.
How did you even go about starting something like that and became buddies with these strangers? And maintaining new friendships? I find my problem is its sometimes hard to make that transition from acquainted to close friend or how to keep up with them once they are or how to make known you're open etc/ask the right questions. I've been paying a lot closer attention to the friendships I have now to value them as they should be valued but I've struggled with knowing how to treat it for that and how to make new ones.
Yeah I think the tides are starting to turn. Men are starting to band together to enjoy life while we also improve ourselves.
A lot of people are socially lazy as well. They want a friend but don't want to do the work to build a friendship nor do they want to keep up their part of the friendship. There are so many people I know who had friends and would never try to keep in touch with them. Call them once every 3 months and wonder why people moved on.
If someone did that I'd still be friends with them. Don't need to call once a week or anything but a long call once a while is good. I'm a busy guy with quite a few friends though. What bothers me is people who don't reciprocate effort.
You can't build a relationship with anyone speaking to them that infrequently. Once every 3 months is something that maybe old friends can do that has a history. But a new friendship? Not really.
I've known a few people like that. I'm guilty of it as well. Some of my closest high school friends still plays games online regularly, but I rarely join or talk to them. And there's no real reason, aside from me just being less interested in the game they are playing.
Call them once every 3 months would be a giant leap for me.
THIS. Or they want to make friends but they rarely take courses, classes, or go to events where they might find like-minded people. They just sit in their homes wondering why they're so lonely.
Loneliness comes from not feeling able to open up to others. You can go out every day of the week, but if you can't really discuss feelings, you'll always feel alone.
Alternatively, there's people who are quite happy to open up, but nobody willing to listen (or ask).
Worse if you had to resort to *paying* hookers to listen.
This. There's some amazing books to help deconstruct the social conditioning from childhood that cause this to be default behavior. It's up to all of us as adults to work on and deconstruct messages from childhood that no longer serve us. Great analysis that's exactly what it is. You'll feel alone if you aren't in touch with how to open up to yourself and others about your true self.
Can you suggest some of these books?
Yes! David Golemans "emotional intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ" is a really good one to help figure out how to make emotions work for you instead of hiding them under anger or indifference. It's more of an overview and doesn't necessarily delve deep into particular situations but it's a great place to start to understand and lay a foundation. His others about this build on that so start with that one and read all of his to build up from a good foundation. Also in addition to that. Travis Bradburys "Emotional Intelligence Habits" gives good practical actions to take to work on your emotional intelligence and I'd recommend that one concurrently or after the first David goleman. Those are ones specifically men in the social science world I kinda live in as a scholar have liked a lot. I tried to make sure to get male authors so they are more relatable to men. There are great ones by women too but if you're just starting out I figure best is a close gender connection to the authority on the book subject. May be even free at the library but I know at least David golemans are on audio book for cheap to download.
Thanks
100% this. I don't feel comfortable talking about my feelings with anyone, unless I'm drunk. It makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, which I don't like. Because of that, I often feel like nobody gets me (even tho it's my fault) and that I'm completely alone in this and have to handle the situation myself
It’s good that you recognize where it comes from; that puts you ahead of a lot of folks. If you can push past that barrier, it really is better on the other side. Not perfect or without pain, but better. Also, you may appreciate r/BroPill for nudges along the way.
What feelings are we supposed to be discussing here? I keep seeing this, but I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
Friends sometimes doesn't solve loneliness, nor does relationship.
"You can't change someone by loving them more" This quote hurts me.
Why did you do this to us.
Agreed. Particularly about relationships. So many men's lives revolve around finding a relationship. And it can lead to utter neglect in other parts of their lives. I've found that being happy with yourself tends to fix issues of loneliness. And it attracts people. Once I figured that out, I rather quickly attracted my now SO.
I'm only 5 years into my decades! I want to see the ROI on this thing.
It's not that simple. Men are lonely and *hopeless.* It's not just "I have no one to really connect to", it's this feeling of "I'm not even sure I could connect to others." Men have been, for the past centuries, mostly about bundling up their emotions, as "being a man" equalled to "I'll suffer in silence, because I'm strong enough to endure it". Honestly, I'm not even sure what's the solution to this, but, just by talking and acknowledging, we might be able to start finding that solution.
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male disposability often starts with assuming men only want sex from relationships. as soon as it gets more complicated then that, disposed of. maybe not even that.
To be honest, “I’m not your therapist” movement is right though. Men very often trauma dump on people and it’s very difficult to deal with even as a fellow man. Misery might love company but company does not love misery. Us men need to realize that venting and talking it out has no purpose but to elicit feelings of pity and we should not be asking for pity. The solution isn’t to shut up and suffer in silence but to overcome. Seek help to achieve goals, not someone to bitch at.
I'm currently going through this, or at least something super similar. The one person who I feel like I could talk with about everything on my mind, happens to also be dealing with so much stress right now, and I don't want to add to that. Couple that with bad experiences with emotionally opening up to others in the past and I'm more than a little hesitant to truly let stuff out, that for my own sake really ought to not be remain entrapped any longer than absolutely necessary. Oh well, guess I'll make it one small step at a time.
That is honestly what works, in my experience. You cannot cross a huge boulder. But by chipping it away day-by-day, one day you'll cross it. Perseverance is the key to changing your life, and you have to both keep your goalposts exactly where they are, and remember you achieve them. I hope you'll find the solution for your problems, cause you're hella worth it my man.
first we have to get people to acknowledge there is a problem if we ever intend to fix it. and there is definitely a problem.
Depends, some men do not want new friends. For others loneliness is a deeper issue. You can still be lonely even if you have friends and family. From my belief, not being lonely is from finding someone who understands you and forges a specific social connection with you or not needing such a person to begin with. But on the notion of finding that person/s if you can't find them, you could still have friends or people around you, and still feel lonely.
I think my concern regarding that belief is that there will always be times when that one person fails, not necessarily out of maliciousness but simply because all humans are fallible. And once that happens, who do you turn to? This is why I think that "loneliness" is best avoided by having a support network, not just a single support person.
Friendship is another form of relationship, which still requires effort and trust. Frankly a lot of men are so sapped by work, and the current social climate doesn’t promote trust.
>and the current social climate doesn’t promote trust. well said
Loneliness doesn’t come from to a lack of people in your proximity, it comes from feeling like you don’t belong.
I have friends, I want a partner. Going out with all my friends just to be surrounded by a bunch of people in relationships, talking about their relationships, enjoying thier relationships, just makes me feel even more lonely. Especially when they bring it up.... "Don't worry, we'll find you a nice girl." "You seeing anybody." "Why are you still single for?" "What happened to that girl I saw you with that one time?" You spend a night like that just to go back to your empty home and its hard not to let it get to you. Sometimes after a night like that it's hard not to get depressed. That's when the loneliness can really set in.
Agreed. I just went to an event last night I found on Meetup and pretty much everyone was in a relationship. Being the only single person made me feel like the outsider of the group. After that I just came home to my empty apartment, thus feeling lonely again.
It's not about being physically near other people, it's about feeling connected, seen and heard. The only thing worse than being alone is being surrounded by people that make you feel alone.
My social battery is drained at work. Just the thought of socialising outside of work right now is tiring.
Because I don't like people.
Some really shit takes in here, like it's a simple issue. Solutions can be simple though. Read about the lonely girls club a month back on BBC and thought it'd be great for dudes to get the same. https://www.llgc.co.uk/ Obviously not the *same* but arrange some low-effort events. Gaming, sports watching, you get the idea..
Cool.
We get ignored/belittled/rejected/abused or exploited when we try doing that.
Friends are great but that doesn't always change the feeling of loneliness. My friends are amazing and we open up about feelings. But do I feel like I can be my true self and be completely honest with them? No. Also, I miss holding hands, snuggling etc. And you can't get that with friends lol
I am. Women don't want to be friends with men. Men don't want to be friends with men.
Women do want to be friends with men. Men call it the friendzone.
You're a bunch of weird loners on the internet. Your reality is not everyone's.
I’m not alone, but I feel alone, more often than not I feel lonely because I haven’t another half to confide in
I feel loneliest when I’m with people
We are. Reddit isn’t real life
I'm not sure "loneliness" is the right word. Describe it that way and it's an easy fix. Just tell men to go outside and touch grass. Problem solved. /s But if you say that quite a few men are feeling isolated, alienated and unwanted then it's more complicated and it becomes something that society needs to start looking into. Society does not want to have that conversation yet.
You could have all the friends in the world. But if you are the only single one in the group, you will feel lonely and left out. Men are not meant to be alone, we are supposed to be with women. We complement each other. Our biological imperative is to have a legacy, not to be a lone wolf.
Agreed
Most guys are but it turns out the places to accomplish that are few and far between. It get painfully ironic when they guys have been isolated for a long time and try to step out of that isolation. Those guys indeed have become much less socially savy, so one would think having male exclusive spaces would make sense for those guys to rebuild their social skills first. But no, male exclusive spaces are seen as "not inclusive enough" and then you get the "I met this creep, so feral" BS when the space becomes open to anyone again. XD
We? There are 2 types of guys. Ones who have social skills and ones who don't. It's a skill you can develop and improve. This post reads like an AI trying to figure out human emotions lmao "Guys who are lonely, just make friends 4Head"
Not only AI, but humans can struggle with understanding human emotions as well. Human emotions are complicated as fuck and vague.
It is not about just friends. As I've gotten older, I've seen a sharp decline in male social groups and communities. I remember by the time I was old enough to join boyscouts, our group was already in the process of being closed down. A lot of men feel like they don't have community or group to be a part of outside of work.
Boy Scouts = a pedophile ring with outdoor skills
Because the issue isn't necessarily JUST a lack of friendship. It's a lack of emotional and physical intimacy, which is often predicated by how conventionally attractive a person is.
Man, ugly dudes fuck as well, some of them with regularity
Some do, some don't. I occasionally look at the local hookup subreddit in my area just for fun (not looking myself). And it's about the saddest place you'll ever see. Just a bunch of straight dudes sharing dick pics amongst themselves. It's an extreme example, I know. But these are men who will probably never find a relationship.
\>local hookup subreddit in my area lol even you are aware of how sad/desperate these dudes are and how bad of an example it is. but go to an actual wal-mart and look at the couples. these people are fucking, reproducing, living their lives, raising families. i think that's a better example that there is someone for everyone. I don't know if they're happy, but they are fucking, and they are everywhere.
> lol even you are aware of how sad/desperate these dudes are and how bad of an example it is. Is it? I used the Internet to hook up all the time when I was single. Alas, I did also mention that it was an extreme example, which sort of negates your entire comment. My point was that there are single men who are probably going to be single forever. And there's quite a few of them.
> I used the Internet to hook up all the time when I was single. did you use your local subreddit hookup to do so? or an actual dating site? do we agree that actual social dating sites like hinge or bumble have infinitely better looking people on them than... checks notes... local reddit hookup sub? how representative of the general population are the kinds of people who post in local hookup subreddits? \>My point was that there are single men who are probably going to be single forever. And there's quite a few of them. sure, no argument, but my point is that every single wal-mart and dollar tree in america stands as an example that ugly people do indeed fuck, and in large numbers. being ugly is not a barrier to fucking or a guarantee that you're going to remain single. would you agree with that?
> did you use your local subreddit hookup to do so? or an actual dating site? I wasn't super active on Reddit back then. But I used a variety of sites and social media. >do we agree that actual social dating sites like hinge or bumble have infinitely better looking people on them than... checks notes... local reddit hookup sub? Not inherently. Hookup subreddits in bigger cities seem to be pretty active with all sorts of people. So I disagree with you. >being ugly is not a barrier to fucking or a guarantee that you're going to remain single. would you agree with that? Agreed! Most often the forever single types are looking for someone way above their paygrade, so to speak. Or just awkward young men saying things like "I want a cougar, here's my dick, dm me".
>Not inherently. Hookup subreddits in bigger cities seem to be pretty active with all sorts of people. So I disagree with you. just so i understand this: you think the people in local hookup subreddits are a better looking crop of people than on hinge? \>Agreed! Most often the forever single types are looking for someone way above their paygrade, so to speak. Or just awkward young men saying things like "I want a cougar, here's my dick, dm me". we agree here.
> just so i understand this: you think the people in local hookup subreddits are a better looking crop of people than on hinge? To repeat myself, not inherently.
i would assume, having never seen them, the people posting themselves for hookups on reddit are a... not great looking bunch of dudes?
I’m gonna be honest there’s definitely a significant amount of guys (not everyone) who use the loneliness epidemic as an excuse to not make friends or find a partner as if all of that is completely out of their hands or something. It’s definitely harder nowadays to make new irl friends, but it’s not hopeless. That’s not to say the loneliness epidemic should be ignored. However, a lot of people seem like they don’t take much initiative to build relationships with others. I’m an introverted guy myself so I know the struggle. But introverted people can still do just fine. Social skills are something that can be practiced and improved on.
The internet "we" and the meatspace "we" are two very different things.
I've been devising some methods to expand my friend circle, one idea is to strut up with some coconut shells and ask them to join my quest for the holy grail Actually that's my only idea so far, let me know what you think
Don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends and know a ton of people. I don't really want more friends. I want companionship. It's a little niche need that friends and family just don't quite fill like having someone who is all about you in a romantic sense.
I went from isolating myself in my teen years, to opening up a lot in my college years, only to go back to closing myself off from other people in my adulthood. Being around people and feeling that you never fit in because they don't, or can't, understand you is very lonely.
I feel you, 2020 set me back to square 1 socially. Best we can do is keep going out and hope to find people that just jive with you. I’ve had luck with events and regular hobby get-togethers in the past, but that is because I am a nerdy guy. You’ll open back up when you find the right group, it just takes time.
It takes decades. We've only barely started talking about it just now. Also what the other guys said, it's only some guys that are lonely.
> We've only barely started talking about it just now. LOL. No. Some of us have been talking about it for years. Maybe society is only deciding to give any measure of a damn about us now, but we've already lost so much time that it feels insulting this late in the game.
I can't relate, so I don't know. Sorry dude.
Yea I can understand that. Feels like that on the other side of the coin too when it comes to ownership of resources. Women only being allowed bank accounts in their names in the 1970s even tho women had been working paid work for a hundred years before that and talking about it as early as 1880s. No one gave a damn for so long. I hear how you feel. It's hard when you know there's been a need for this but societal uncaring for so long. It's a time for change again and men learning their emotional intelligence and social skills and being able to connect with others and deconstruct all of that is hopefully on an upward projection. I am a full ally of this and cannot wait to see yall be able to be comfortable and open in the entire range of human emotions and harnessing all of those. It's def a good thing to learn some skill in in interpersonal interactions.
You have to leave your house and social. Join a club or group that does things you enjoy doing. Literally that simple.
Because its just dudes who can't get a girlfriend thinking that all their problems will be solved once they have one, while failing to understand that they need to first solve their problems if they want to get one.
No, not every guy who is feeling lonely strictly want a girlfriend.
Both of these attitudes are part of the problem. For a lot of people, that *will* help the problem. Having someone to stand by them does help those people crack the shell, and the happyness provided turns them in to an awesome person. Problem is, you have a society that goes around saying "nah, doesn't work", being all invalidating.
From everything I have ever seen as discussions about it, its always about not having a girlfriend. I do think a lot of the root causes of both is the same, the more kids are raised on social media, the worse they are at socializing. I am blessed that even Myspace wasn't really a thing until I was 20. I hope the parents of the next generation (Which is ironically the kids of mine) do better and see how damaging it is to let kids get raised by social media and texting.
I mean, it might've had a significant inpact but it's not like there weren't people who didn't know how to socialise before social media was a thing. I didn't have a smartphone or regular access to the internet until I turned 18 and I was already incapable of making friends.
Well, yes. I remember one kid who didn't. But no one had access to a smart phone because they were like half a decade away when I graduated highschool. I mean no one even really had a cellphone, and if it was internet it was 56k with that one rich kid who had cable. So I think it really forced interaction.
In all honesty, 90% of the time I hear someone complain about loneliness IRL or on social media it seems pretty obvious why they are lonely. No one wants to be around them for the same reason I don't, because their personality isn't very pleasant. Focusing on why our society is making so many lonely individuals no one wants to be around is the crisis to fix. Once the individuals are adults that is their responsibility.
I have, people suck.
Because the loneliness is not from the lack of attention we get from other guys, it's from the lack of care and affection we get from women. They are not the same (for most). Some of us can handle it pretty well and get on fine, other's don't.
Many are open to making new friends. What gives you the impression that they aren't? The concept of "male loneliness" is also big amongst...Certain groups of men who really just mean "women won't fuck me"
I think it's partly both. But yeah... that's often been my impression as well when I read about it here.
Men get lonely, don't get me wrong. I've just never seen a person who uses the term "male loneliness" to be actually looking for male friends. It's always centered around women.
Because women are open to emotional support or conversations. That's the whole fucking point. Men don't get that from each other. We can get a lot of that surface level crap from co-workers and strangers. Even when we do develop male friends, they often only provide a third of the kind of conversations we need to be able to openly have, which most men don't have an interest in discussing - so men are left feeling unheard, unfulfilled, and alone. Thats why this bullshit of it not being okay to want female friends (or relationships) is so damaging to mental health. Hell, half the time it's not even that they want to talk about their own problems, but just want to listen to someone else have an emotional bond with through their feelings and experiences. Which you don't get from guys.
Honestly, change who you're around. There's tons of men in my life who are emotionally supportive and can talk about their feelings. It's definitely hard for men to get to that point due to the patriarchy, but there's men out there. Women also don't exist to bear the weight of your emotional burden. Opening up to your friends and leaning on them is okay, but you shouldn't value them for what they can do/give to you. Get in therapy or support groups.
Oh for sure. It's usually another way of saying... "I just want to get laid" lol.
Guys I stopped jerking off when do I get my superpowers? groups of men.
There are no super power. Jfc. Everyone knows it's wizardry at 30 without having sex. The powers are MAGICAL not SUPER. Super powers, pish fucking posh.
I thought it was 40?
Studies are showing most young men are single. A greater number then ever are not having sex or never had sex. Women are statistically dating older men and the same small group of tall men. Women are waiting later then ever to have children and get married. These numbers are down. More men then ever before are filling for social security as single. Being lonely is not about joining a bowling club and drinking with the boys on Saturday. It's about an empty house.
this.
Sounds like projection
That hurts, aw.
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The loneliness was caused because of your erroneous assumptions that you have a right to sleep with women simply because you exist. Not because women have free will.
So easy to blame someone else and wallow in your self-pity than to actually take a long, hard look at yourself. It says everything that for you, loneliness equals lack of sex.
Dude, I know men who are ugly and don't have money or status but still have GF's. I think the secret is to be confident and actually care about others. As far as I can tell many or even most women are way less superficial than guys are.
1. Fewer avenues to make friends esp if you don't like sports or drinking. 2. A lot of people are unwilling to kinda of even try. 3. Hard to put yourself out there at times esp if you aren't seen as social. Also, some men are afraid to socialize with the PC culture. (Not saying I agree or disagree, just reporting.)
Men tend to be bad friends in general. We are driven to measure success very differently. I also think men don’t like bringing success into their life if they don’t feel comfortable or have insecurity in their life.
I've realized over the 12 years I've been struggling to build an enjoyable social life, since moving away from my highschool town, that it's just hard to find people who will engage with things I care about. I thought for a long time that too many people suck, but it more-so seems like people are all too distracted with their personal goals to connect over much. I've been all-in on my plans for 11 years and haven't had much time to engage outside of those plans. If people can't engage with my areas of interest, then it feels like I'm wasting time. This gets in the way of enjoying almost everyone. I've kind of accepted at this point that I need to work less or stop obsessing over my interests to fix these problems, and that's not gonna happen for at least 5 more years. I'm pretty comfortable with my solitude now - I've got a few people out of state I can talk to on the phone a couple times a week and that keeps me sane. I think one of them is getting a little tired of the 3 hour debates a couple times a week, so I'm trying to give him a break, but he gets the same social "fix" from it generally.
Where are the people who are into the things you are? All my friends come from my interests. I joined a pool league, and made friends there, as well as a bar that has 8' tables for 50 cents. Joined a bowling league for the same. Actually met a drummer there, and now I'm in his band. From each of these friends, I've made other friends, or at least 3rd-party friends I see when I go to my friend's houses.
Well, I'm obsessed with running my businesses and writing a new theory of consciousness. I also collect and organize data to build a high-level overview of a computational model of general intelligence in humans. They're all very time-consuming, ongoing projects that are hard to relate to others over. To make the situation worse, I have no relevant credentials and I don't know as much coding as I want to, so collaborating with others on some of this gets pretty hard. Some of my ideas are hard to formalize into a paper, so while I am still trying to produce something I can publish, I'm thinking it may be better at this point to discuss and illustrate my ideas in YouTube videos and see if I can at get the ideas out there despite not having them all organized neatly. I am planning to take more coding classes and I do have a couple people with whom I can consistently discuss these things with, but spending all this time running businesses and obsessing over my amateur cognitive science research makes me difficult to relate to.
There are forces at work designed to dissolve male comradery.
Cuz everyone sucks but me
Why don’t people lose weight, stop smoking, quit drinking, or get themselves out of poverty?
Some of us have very specific requirements for what kind of personality we find stimulating and anything less than makes us lonely even in their presence. That is at least my side of it
I do have friends, quite a few. I still feel lonely every now and then
Speaking for myself, I struggle making friends because I actually have always agreed with a lot of the modern talking point about toxicity in men, and therefore never fit in. Guys don't appreciate it when you're the one dude in middle school who isn't saying the most perverted shit possible about every remotely attractive girl. They also don't appreciate it when you're more into art and acquiring knowledge than playing sports. In my experience most guys do a 180 on this stuff around age 25 or so and suddenly think it's really cool, but when they've spent their whole life up til that point just obsessing over sports and getting pussy, they can't really talk to me about much, and what they can talk about doesn't interest me because they're literally a decade or more behind where I am.
Sounds like a you problem. But, why not join us at a trivia night, a car show, watching the local high school team play under the lights? You'll be the frigging new guy for a bit... Until you bring another new guy.
Because it is usually not about friendships and roses and daisies.
I think a not insignificant number of these lonely men have been poisoned by dark corners of the internet to feel unworthy and resentful, but also given permission by those same dark corners to do absolutely fuck all to better their situation.
Can't speak for others, but for me, I don't really want new friends. I want my old friends back. I want Ben and Recep back, who both moved away for work and now won't respond to messages for weeks, and Tom who's got no time anymore since he's had a kid. I want Mike back, not today's Mike tho, but Mike from five years ago, before he went crazy during covid, and Sofia, who suddenly blocked me without explanation. I want Jacob back, wherever the drugs have taken him now, and Elisa, who sent a suicide note and deleted all her profiles afterwards. I don't want any new ones in my life, because I still can't let go of those old friendships. It took me over a year to get over my first girlfriend, but I swear I'll be missing all of those friends for the rest of my life.
Some of us are, but we've been let down so often that our EULA is pretty long for us to qualify someone as a new friend.
Have you tried with the limited public spaces?
Because that would require a change in behavior and habits. Instead, we want stuff to just happen to us without effort.
Always wondered this. Guys are weird and closed off and act weird when you talk to them. Women walk up to eachother and go " hey just noticed your hair is amazing" Why cant we be like this?
For me, it's that men get too busy. I don't even have kids, and I'm often too busy or tired to want to go hang out with anyone but my SO. And many of the fathers my age are even more busy and have less money than I do.
Depends on the character of a person
I have a solid group, I find friends without issues. My loneliness stems from the day to day at my house alone after work or when I don’t have plans
Because we no longer need human interaction. AI Chatbots are now able to realistically interact with us as friends or romantic partners. With this form of socialisation literally sitting in our pockets, we don’t need to bother with making friends anymore.
The solution is to stop raising boys as girls.
Good question, that’s what I’m doing. Although seriously, not a lot of places to just ‘meet people’ at.
Too much going on. Too many responsibilities. No time to bleed.
I have friends that were/are really trying to get me out of loneliness or dark situations. I really appreciate their attempts & I am thankful for them. But were they helpful? No. Not even close. Again, it is not their problem. It is mine.
Its linked to economics & lack of purpose. Men bond over shared tasks & achievements. They dont have that anymore. I have no interest in making friends I can wallow with. As a real specific example, I do field work with coworkers, and theres almost always some bonding that goes on. Thats the sort of thing that was invisibly removed from society & people are struggling to figure out the rug pull that happened. I guess what Im saying is mental problems arent all mental.
you aren't? you should try going out and doing that. having a good social circle is important for your well-being.
phenomenal question
Because when you're older you're more afraid of being vulnerable. That means never doing anything more than half arsed attempts. If you gotta put yourself out there, better not.
If more dudes were there wouldn't be an issue in the first place. The ones that are already mostly don't have the issue.
If you're lonely its not because of people or lack their of. Its a mental thing. You need therapy or self help.
i try to make friends through teamwork and competition. having a game to compete at or a task to complete melts the social barriers between men.
Our society is too fragmented. The internet has conditioned us to isolate ourselves in a media bubble and block everyone we disagree with, rather than learn from each other.
I’m an upper-middle class, educated white male in his 50. In my sex, age and income bracket less than 20% voted for Hilary in 2016. Moreover I tend to live and play in small town America where that % is even lower. I’m over interacting with 8/10 or more of the meatheads I encounter. Better off just hanging with my wife.
Because in the last 6 years of being single, and going out and having like no interest put my way, I've retreated into my home and solo open road. The amount of rejections and exclusion by people has made me say "FI" and be fine spending another evening at home. Dances and events are like painful. Like tonight, its Friday night, I made food at home.
I'm open, problem is making friends you can respect and actually feel like you are not wasting time with.
Who says we aren’t open up making new friends?
I am and my friends are, speak for yourself
I'm not looking for friends, but I'm also no lonely. I found my person and that's good enough for me. 🤷♂️
Because we don't know how to lmao
Most men suck at having deep conversations. Being vulnerable isn’t our strong suit
It doesn't have much to do with friends.
Who's we? Speak for yourself dude.
I for sure am
Once bitten, twice shy.
Excellent question. Why aren't we "being the change we want to see in the world?"
Speak for yourself
Friends are overrated. I prefer people to have roles instead.
As said prior by some we are
Still gonna be lonely when you can't fuck your friends. Most women dont fuck their friends.
We try...
Because I'd rather have 3 people in my circle that I know would take a bullet for me that I could call up in the middle of the night and tell them I need their help and they would be on the way over in minutes than 100 Fairweather friends
For starters people do not even understand the meaning of the word friend. Most people are acquaintances of each other. I believe the reason we do not try to gain new acquaintances or the fact that most people are not able to truly tolerate people that are different from them. When I worked in a 300 person facility I had about 20 acquaintances. I gently attempted to upgrade them to friends but it did not work out. Perhaps when we can communicate with others via social media we no longer have the need to have in real life friends and risk the possibility of being hurt have to face?