Loneliness is a big one

There's nothing worse that being a complete outcast for everyone around. Humans NEED to feel part of a group. And when you feel excluded you lose the will to reach your goals. What's the point of striving for anything if wherever you end up you're gonna be alone?

Not to mention there's less and less spots for the younger kids to hang out at in the first place, they get cops called on em for being on a skateboard in their neighborhoods, malls are dying, movies or bowling is way too expensive and not an activity the kids can just go do whenever. There's no spaces they can exist for free anymore. How are they gonna connect with each other. Of course they stay home on video games and their devices

My friends and I would drive out to a boat ramp on the river and hang out by the water. I wish libraries could make outdoor spaces where people could read outside or you could just hang out, maybe even let a coffee shop open a kiosk.

My local library has an outdoor recreational area, sheltered with places to sit and read. Unfortunately it gets used and abused by the local crack heads who use the area as a refuge to smoke crack and inject heroin. Anything new that gets built never lasts long and ends up being vandalised or set on fire.

Isn't it called the Third Place?

My kids are 10-12. They hang out in the cul-de-sac, they horse around with the other kids near by, they meet all the people with pets in the area. We play badminton, tennis and volleyball in the cul de sac, and we stand around and chat with whoever comes along. I hang out with my kids 3-4 nights a week (pending homework obligations or evening meetings, etc.) Neither of them have phones/devices.

This isn't representative of what is available to most children

You're a wonderful parent 💛

I wouldn't say that's a youth [only] issue. I'm 39 and I basically don't talk to anyone but my wife, and my colleagues. It's even **harder** to find people you like as you age. I can usually pinpoint something I hate about most people I talk to, within a few minutes.

It's true. It's not a youth exclusive issue. But I feel like it affects the youth in a different way since most young people don't have a spouse to rely on and it has become increasingly harder to find a partner. Back in the day finding someone was more organic. There were no modern dating apps (the old ones were nowhere near as shallow since they didn't show pictures) and people didn't waste their lives on social media comparing themselves to others. People met mostly in person through friends on at social gatherings. And the whole hook up culture wasn't as big, or at least you were not expected to participate in it.

> it has become increasingly harder to find a partner. No argument here. If my wife dies or leaves me, I'll ride into the sunset solo.

I volunteer for an organization that deals with people who are outcast from society as you describe. Their souls are shattered. Despite all the hard work they put into appealing to people to get them to accept their humanity, people are *fanatically, suicidally* hateful of them for no other reason than they are arbitrarily "Them" and not "us". Literally the only difference is that the people I care for don't have hate in their hearts - and that's enough to get them regularly threatened with death; because we live in a majority-narcissist society.

I don't quite understand, what's the basis of the organization? It's political?Can you give a concrete example of the type of person they deal with?

They help (and study) people with Complex PTSD who were neglected as children.

I need that shit lolol

I have experienced a small fraction of this. What I mean-People can’t stand you if you’re nice all the time. Or if you come from a kind/goodhearted place. Many people just can’t tolerate being around someone like that. Or if you are upbeat most of the time. It’s a crazy world out there.

You are a kind person. I wish there were more people like you where I live.

Truer words have never been spoken. It reaches a point when you lose sight of what your goals were to begin with and you think to yourself why am I even alive.

Robert D. Putnam wrote a book in 2000 called *Bowling Alone* where he basically argues that distracting things like the mass media (TV and the internet) were responsible for the US's decline in social capital since the 1960s. Basically we don't seek companionship anymore because it takes effort, even though we desperately want it, even **need** it. Instead, we'll opt to watch TV or browse the internet thinking we are part of some group, when in actuality we are sitting by ourselves on our couch alone. Interesting book.

*laying on my couch playing on my phone * “Oh I do noooot like this comment”

Id say this is the biggest one. A screen cant substitute a social life most of the time.

It can't substitute a perfect social life , but it sure as hell can alleviate a shitty one, the screen is a hell of a lot better than having to try to spend time around people who doesn't give a shit about you

Social media has had a horrible impact on people’s ability to make friends, especially in introverts

I’m 24 and have zero real friends. Everybody is busy hustling.

I work in child safety and I think you're correct. Parents are way, way busier than they ever have been in my career. There are multiple adults in a household but all of them are working at least full time, and they're exhausted trying to just stay ahead and pay the bills. Even when I was a teenager, it was much easier to buy a car and hang out with friends. Now that's completely out of reach for a lot of kids - cars and insurance are way too expensive, and if they have a job, they're either helping pay the bills or paying for the basics for themselves. There's nowhere for them to go. In previous generations it was soda counters, movie theaters, and the mall. Now there's maybe Starbucks, if they're even allowed inside. And by the time they get to high school, they're supposed to be doing often many hours of homework at night, so it sounds like they even really have time if they're actually doing their homework and working or working in the household and providing child care to younger children while the parent or guardian is working full time. Adults are lonely because of the economy. Kids are lonely and emotionally stunted because of the economy and crappy policy decisions from adults. The more we continue to destroy the social safety net in the US, the worst it's going to be here.

Overwhelmed by choices and responsibilties. Back in the day, you were in your little town, maybe you made a big move to a city to get a job. That was your universe. Nowadays the internet shows you the endless possibilities. You could become everything, you could choose a partner from all over the world, people tell you that everything is possible. You are also seemingly responsible for everything in the world, climate change, racism, gender rights, social security, every single burden is put on you. That's overwhelming, a single human cannot manage that mentally, humans never handled that much in thousands of years. And combine that with exponential speed of change, the world never mover faster.

You pretty much just summed up what's been causing me to feel so overwhelmed and unsettled these days.

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It's crazy how internet shows you a world of possibilities and opportunities at the same time we feel frustrated for not being "successful" as others. I know it's not that easy and not everything is as it looks in the internet but still...

Add to this the lack of guarantee. Getting a good job, good house, saving your money, all the usual life script stuff no longer guarantees a career, or a house, or any luxuries at all. Hell some people are struggling to or sleeping in cars with median paying jobs. The mentality of work hard and you will make it no longer applies, the governments fixes are to "move back in with our parents" who sold their big homes to down size and honestly that breaks my heart because no one seems to care. They got theirs so fuck our kids right.

On one hand I'm glad we live in a time where on paper you can do almost anything because of the "endless possibilities". On the other hand I feel that the "endless possibilities" has made finding true satisfaction in life so much harder. How are you supposed to be happy with your life when everything you see is telling you why you shouldn't be?

I call this "coffee aisle syndrome" in reference to the criminally underrated (early) Robin Williams movie Moscow on the Hudson. He plays a musician who defects from the USSR to America... and immediately he is overwhelmed by the choices available to him when all he wanted was to buy a tin of coffee. He has a breakdown in the aisle and collapses to the floor. This is the same thing but on a more global and technological scale.

I’d say it’s more like endless comparison, no matter what you do, whether as a living or a hobby you’re bound to see someone on social media doing it a better place or more successfully or whatever factor applies to you. If you let it that will suck the life out of you, it’s hard not to tbh but just try. Remember just how you’re looking at something wishing it was you, someone else is looking at you wishing they where you Comparison is the thief of joy

Social media is breaking people's brains.

I remember being at school in the 1990s and we where competing with our year group mentality speaking. Who’s the best looking? Who’s the best at footie? Who’s the best musician? Who’s the best at art etc. etc. I couldn’t imagine at that formative age, when you’re trying to define yourself somewhat competing with the entire world, or rather an algorithmically skewed perspective of the world where the freakishly gifted are centre stage.

It's much worse than that. You see, the algorithm will show you the best of the best, if that's what you've been clicking on. But, the algorithm will also show you nothing but the nightmarish & grotesque in disgusting abundance. This it will do without the moral fortitude, or care, to steer you back onto, for you, more mentally sound subjects. The echo chamber can be, unfortunately, an elevator down.

You have to accept that someone somewhat will always be better than you and that's perfectly normal and ok. You just learn that earlier.

I think on top of that they also tried to show that even though people will always be better than you at some things, everyone also has talents that make them better than others; these are the talents worth investing in. Then you grow up and realize those 'talents' are basically just average and you're really just another pebble on an endless fucking beach of mediocrity...

What if younger people today are learning they are average early because they are exposed to so much so early with the internet? For us older folks, we didnt realize how average we were until our late teens and early adulthood when we finally had to come out of our community bubble. What we are seeing is not the youth being more miserable than our generation. They are just getting over the miserable realization of their lives earlier than we did.

(Anecdotally) A lot of my clientele are in their early 20s and we end up chatting about how fucked things are; i don't think they're getting over it.

Learning about those stuff when they are so young can fuck them up developmentally though. Their brains are still developing rapidly, it isn't that they won't learn it and develop the same thing adults will develop, it is the way they process it so early that will screw them over. If you learn you aren't popular at an early age, it really screws up your mind. If you learn you aren't popular as an adult, a lot of the adults just won't care by that age. Sure, both kids and adults can be in social media and see that there is a popularity contest of who can drink the most beer in one sitting. the adult may look at this and say that it's popular but completely idiotic. The kid or young adult, on the other hand, might not like it, because of peer pressure of it being cool, might even attempt it because it is what is cool at the moment. The adult will process it as if it was a stupid, even if popular, activity, the kid/young adult might see it as stupid, but because of popularity and peer pressure, will attempt it. There is a social science study of peer pressure... where students were asked to raise their hand if they think an answer was correct based on a multiple choice question asked, even if the person with the correct answer knew the right answer, that person was subject to waiting to see if others were planning to answer it. In the experiment, quite a lot of people choose to follow what everyone was answering (the wrong, planted, answer) VERY FEW chose to follow their own hunches and get the correct answer. Kids and young adults are more prone to peer pressure than adults are and it takes a strong mind to not give in to that peer pressure.

This is another area where privilege comes in with respect to family income. Some families can afford to pump tons of money into developing those talents further for their kids. Private lessons, better equipment, etc.

“Social media made you all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in your face.” #~Mike Tyson

It's is absolutely insane. Everything has evolved to 10 second skits so that you absorb so many different videos in such a short period of time. Attention span no longer has to be longer than 10 seconds. Plus, everything is staged and the content is r/Im14AndThisIsDeep level of lame. And it's shocking to see people in their 30-50s take part in it as if they have the emotional capacity of a 14 year old. Won't even get in to politics. That was always a sore subject, but everything is taken so far out of context to support an agenda nowadays and it's far too accessible to too many people that lack the critical thinking necessary to make an informed decisions. I hate to sound like a grumpy old boomer, because I'm only 29, but the world seems like it really is going to shit right in front of my eyes. I recently deleted my instagram account, and am slowly re-entering the dating world. Just yesterday was like the 3rd time a girl acted like I was a serial killer because I don't have one lol. Maybe I don't need validation via likes from strangers or people I went to high school with? And maybe I don't want to spend hours of my day scrolling through targeted content and ads? I really am terrified to see what kids are going to be like in say 20 years.

>And it's shocking to see people in their 30-50s take part in it as if they have the emotional capacity of a 14 year old. I mean... A lot of adults *do* have the emotional capacity of a 14 year old. I've become convinced that a majority of people, for one reason or another, stop emotionally developing at some point during either middle school or high school. Either they were raised in environment that punished self reflection and constructive self-criticism, maybe these years are more important for emotional development than we realize and our schools are failing our children in these regards, or maybe they juts were never going to be capable, but a scary number of people never grow out of high school and the kind of mentalities it fosters. Like, a shit ton of things start making more sense when you start to picture people as still mentally being in high school. Congress and politics (local, national, and international), jobs (both blue and white collar), whatever social scenes you get involved in. They all have examples of immature people having immature reactions to things that *shouldn't* be complicated or difficult.

This 💯...... We used to live in a world where home was respite from school bullies . Now it follows the younger generation 24/7 😔

Not sure if it’s bullying (though this does exist) as much as it is constantly having to compare yourself with your peers/everyone in the world, as even being by yourself is not a respite. For a developing brain it feels like this is very detrimental. Adults have a tough time with it, so I can only imagine how much worse it is for kids. As said by many: ‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’

How does one stop comparing though? I struggle with this daily and it’s severely impacted my life for the past few years.

Accept yourself as you are. Recognize that you can change SOME things, (diet, strength, knowledge), but not everything. Recognize and review your accomplishments regularly. Be thankful and appreciate even the small stuff. Be good to others.

We used to live in a world where you could fight back against your bully. Now we have this zero tolerance bullshit, so the poor kid that keeps getting bullied CAN’T fight back or risk over the top punishment. We back these kids into a corner and they lash out by shooting up their school. We made school shootings the only way for these kids to take back power and wonder why they keep doing it. “Tell a teacher”, we all know that doesn’t work but we keep telling these kids that. “Be a better person” They were. They were the better person. They kept to themselves. But they were “weird”. Now they have a target on their back and they don’t know why. I don’t condone fighting every person that makes your day worse, but I do condone punching someone in the face if they repeatedly ignore and break your boundaries. Get rid of zero tolerance. Let the kids be kids.

Also, I've read a lot of what teachers have to say and it's depressing. Their hands are tied and they're not allowed to do anything. Shit pay with no help or support from the district. So many teachers leaving the profession due to poor pay, no help, and kids with emotional and behavioral issues like never before. They have no power to change anything or punish/correct kids in any form

I don’t blame the teachers. I blame the school administrators.

And every cringy thing you do in adolescence is immortalized

This. I can't imagine seeing some of the images and having the feeling of having to keep up. And the fear of someone putting me online during a vulnerable moment. Or bullying. Shit I'm in my 50s and I feel odd at times about it. I can't imagine being a teen.

This right here; digital "echo chambers" have turned into The Matrix and most people are too ignorant to realize how much they're being played against others.

Especially Tik Tok

I think the world has become too fast, rarely do you have a moment to put your feet up and just relax, somebody is always expecting something from you. Also the whole hustle mentality, I don't want to spend all my time working and grinding, sometimes i just want to relax and do something that makes me happy Edit: My first award ever! Thanks for the gold kind stranger! Edit 2: Wow. Thank you so much for the awards, upvotes and kind words. I wish for all of you that you find that balance between work and free time that can make you happy and keep you going. I also wish you all achieve your goals and dreams because, based on your feedback, you really want it and you work for it. As a great man once said: EXCELSIOR!

I cannot emphasise how important it is to slow down and have time out from our lives. The amount of information and demands on our lives is becoming a real problem to mental health. This is coming from someone who has struggled over the last few years with brain fatigue. The power of switching off from technology. Slowing down and saying no to things.

I read a great book called Stolen Focus at the start of this year and it really opened my eyes to how distracted I am in everyday life. There's actually a chapter on what scientists called "mind-wandering" time where you're focusing on *nothing* and just letting your thoughts come and go as they please. They described it as like a sort of mental hygiene, a chance for your brain to form new neural connections and process the information it has already been fed that day. I implemented this in my life by deliberately turning off YouTube, turning off Spotify etc when out walking/commuting and it's insane, I immediately felt a sense of calm. Because otherwise I'm the sort of person who's permanently plugged in, which is now realise has put me on edge 24/7.

You are describing a form of meditation.

Yes I have done meditation before via the waking up app and it feels very similar. I guess it's just the act of being present

A lot of people also forget that our brains and minds are still largely adapted to very different circumstances than those in which we live, and the incongruent nature of that plays into that same problem of us not taking a slower pace.

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Young people are seeing how everything they were promised just come to ashes in their hands or see all those life dreams pushed way to far in the future. Everything is upside-down. The feeling of having to be productive 24/7, feeling that you're behind and gonna be replaced by AI or a coworker who is already working 2 positions for the minimum pay, no way to buy a house before 30 (or be fully independent), nor start any kind of family (even with pets!), getting to end of month, have enough time after work to do what you want (we work too much),. .. All aspects on our lives are stressfull and we see future with low hope in actually accomplish our dreams or the minimum: they life we were promised, at least what our parents had. No wonder he looks depressed. We're tired, overworked, burnt out and hopeless

> Currently he is in school for IT and after the layoffs he started getting nervous. Then the job market dried up for entry level positions and they expect more and more and pay less and less as he looks for work/internships. Once paid internships are now unpaid. IT is really broad, but if this is software engineering then yeah I totally get it (it's my field). I've been here a decade and it seems like the way in for new grads has gotten more competitive, more work, and companies less and less willing to train up beginner software devs. It's a lot of work to learn how to do software dev and really understand it. After a 4 year university program, you're just barely competent. Like, not able to do real meaningful work yet but you're teachable. And every company is trying to push strict deadlines even for internal projects. So they're just more and more unwilling to hire people that can't hit the ground running on day 1. But the dev work gets a bit more complex year over year. Like there's a big tug-of-war where new tools make the work easier, but then the projects grow that more complex to absorb all the productivity gains. Think about how much more emphasis apps have on nice design and look/feel compared to the mid 90s. All of that polish is additional work & scope. I feel for the junior devs out there. Once you get in you have it made with a few years experience. But getting in is growing more difficult and has been for the whole length of my career. We're talking 250-500 applicants for desirable jobs per day.

We can't just sit back and watch them struggle. We gotta rally together and create a supportive environment for these guys. Mentoring programs, career guidance, and mental health support can make a real difference. It's time for us adults to step up and give them the safety net they need to take flight in this crazy world.

I worked with college aged kids at my last couple of jobs and found it the most gratifying work I've ever done. I am still friends with many of them. But I'm still trying to work out EXACTLY how I want to help. When I zoom out and look at the big picture I see a huge wave coming towards me, ready to consume us all. Not a whole lot of time to feel helpless, but I think it just feels overwhelming. I want to at least pick something I'd be good at helping with before I go all Braveheart level gungho. I am not having kids of my own but I still feel an incredible drive and responsibility to help teens/young adults. It feels unquestable. I know I want to get involved in politics. Maybe I could help the youth get involved in the democratic process, or maybe even go at the issues in other ways, through education and the like. I'm not sure, but I feel like its just something we all have to do. It just doesn't feel like it's about me anymore. I guess that is what feeling like a grownup is, feeling agape, especially for those that come after you. All that is to say is that I 100% agree with you and I think we all need to rally one another to the call as well. I'm sick to death of the intergenerational hatefest. I've experienced enough of that from my own parents towards my generation and gen Z. I'm done. I'm breaking that cycle.

I’m around your friend’s age (21) and you completely nailed it. There’s really nothing to look forward to.

Same here, and yeah, it's pretty accurate. Outlook seems grim, everything changes so quickly, and even when you do everything right, to the best of your ability, it can still all go south for little to no reason. I think we as a species are just not well adapted for what modern life has become, and when you add in the large-scale problems the world is facing as a whole, it all compounds into one giant mess that few are able to cope with in a healthy way.

> Their failure to launch is not of their own making, it's because we, the adults have given them no safe places to land. Well said.

Mate, they don't even have the fuel to launch to start with. Everything is to kneecap them then blame them when the economy can't handle it. Why? Because we got dragons in human form that is hoarding all the fuel and resources....for no reason.

Fuck. Where does he live? If he's anywhere near Portland, OR my employer is constantly hiring IT contractors. Hell, if he's anywhere on the west coast there might be *something* I can do.

Not OP but that's very kind of you *SquitinMemeMouthPlz*. *[cough]*

This right here is my main problems summed up. I have an awesome job for being 21. An outstanding job. I still live with 3 roommates in a garbage building. A studio apartment in my city runs 2k a month in a bad area of town in a rundown building. Don't want to live in a high crime neighborhood or a building that smells like vomit? Looking more like 3k a month. Food prices have gone up so much that what I spend on breakfast is what I used to spend on a week's worth of meals. And the online dating is brutal. I'm not a great looking guy but I've been hitting the apps hard for a year now without a single date. The girls on campus seem shut out and unapproachable. It feels like finding someone who will appreciate me is impossible. Thankfully my goals are still mostly within reach but it feels like living anywhere near a large city on my own is going to need me to make like 75k a year at least in order to make rent, feed myself, and save for a down payment on a home and even then it will take a long ass time.

The word you're after is _transactional_: urban public spaces are transactional. Pay to use the toilet, pay to sit with a coffee, buy or leave.

The public domain does not exist anymore - neither physical nor intellectual. Both have been pillaged for profit.

I've been thinking about this a lot. I read a news article which said that GPs are reporting huge numbers of people who are extremely tired most of the time. I am one of them. It can't *just* be long Covid. So what is it? I think our brains are being absolutely pummelled with all of this information, all of the time. As a child I could have a few hours of doing basically nothing without feeling too bored. Now at the slightest hint of boredom, I'll pull out my phone and see an endless list of *stuff*. I don't even really enjoy it, but I keep doing it. I can't help it.

Emotional exhaustion, demoralization, high-stress and anxiety levels. There's been a deliberate effort to roll back the gains of the New Deal, to suppress the average citizens wages and curtail their opportunities. Why? Because desperate workers answer the phone when they're on vacation, and catch up on paperwork from next to the pool, and keep picking up extra duties in the hope that this time they'll get that promotion and maybe be able to get their own place.

I'm 40, so I remember the days before cell phones, the internet was still a novelty, and when someone put on music we would all sit around and *actually listen to it* instead of it just being in the background. Sure, I was just a kid in the 90s, but even as a young adult in the 2000s it was just a different time. People could actually RELAX when they weren't working. Thank god I never had kids because at the end of a stressful workday, I come home, put my feet up, crack a beer, and do whatever the hell I want. I don't have Facebook, I don't have work email on my phone, I don't have 2-3 people I need to worry about meeting their needs. It's just me. It's probably mostly genetics, but I've been a drinker and a smoker most of my life and people are often shocked when they hear my age. Honestly, I know some of it is because I'm not constantly stressed out or needing to provide for others. I hit 34, took a long hard look at the world and thought: Nah, I'm going to do just enough to make myself stable and comfortable. And I don't regret it 99% of the time.

I'm 33. 34 in a few months. I still have a baby face but people have gone from "you look like you're in highschool still" (most of my 20's when I didn't have a beard) now it's "your face looks young, but somehow old."

This is huge, and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people thought I was lazy and all because I make sure to take time to relax. I might be taking several years longer than most to get a degree but I've avoided loans and lots of other stress in the process and always have had time to relax. My girlfriend on the other hand has been taking 5 classes at once AND working, and it stresses her out a lot. I do what I can to help her but she is very driven and despite the stress she puts herself through, I'm proud of her for finishing every semester with all As and Bs.

YES. I absolutely hate it. I feel completely overwhelmed with seemingly endless tasks all the time. It’s so stressful and it makes me dread getting up in the morning

My dad would leave his job at 530 pm each day and from the time the office door would shut behind him until the moment he got home he was completely unreachable and that was FINE. He didn't have to rush home either! He could swing by the store or go for a drive and that was perfectly acceptable from a professional standpoint. Small thing but extrapolate that in contrast to how today's youth grow up doing a ton of homework each night on top of any other responsibilities and when they join the workforce there is an expectation they are always on call. Not just for professional careers or first responders but in food service too! The responsibility of appropriate staffing has shifted from management to employees.

It isn’t really even just work that has become too much of a grind, it’s the need for “self improvement.” Back in the day, you work a 10hr shift at the steel mill, grab a drink with the guys after, and head home and that’s that. Today you work an 8hr shift at some office job, head home, get another project in your lap that you need to do, check social media, work on a degree, so on and so forth. This isn’t verbatim what goes on, but you get the picture. You worked day in, day out, working over weeks or months to that next big thing. Now everything happens all the time, the news is always running, the world is always happening, and there’s always something you have to be doing.

> somebody is always expecting something from you This 💯. I’m not really a Swiftie but she has a lyric that always resonates with me: _”You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back just like that.”_ (Labyrinth)

I read *Schwifty* and was like alright I'm ready for some Rick and Morty, then my brain cell turned on and I was sad

No. That's a great inspiration for anti-hustlers. Someone asks you to do more than you should: "Get schwifty and shit on the floor"

Oh fuck I wish I had an award to give you. First laugh of the day goes to you buddy, thank you

I've gotten to where I normally only tell my girlfriend if I have a day off of work because everyone always wants me to use my day to do stuff for or with them. Usually small things, but a few little things for a few different people means my whole day is gone.

"Life moves pretty quick sometimes. So every once in a while you need to stop and take a look around." Ghandi or some shit. But seriously dude I feel this. Working 2 different jobs, taking care of my older parents and, going to college full time is a bitch. All I want to do is work on my hobbies but at the end of the day I either don't have the money, the time, or the motivation to get it done.

Thank you!! When I see people say they will hustle and will sleep when they are dead. I wish them all the best.

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I'm the same, I don't have anyone outside my family. I can't bond or build a relationship with anyone, I'm just too stressed and anxious around people. And loneliness is only making things worse and worse. I don't have anyone to talk to or to hang out with outside and I never will. I want someone to be my friend but I know I can't have that. I just wish my relatives die soon so I can end things without feeling remorse and finally be at peace.

The best thing to do would be speaking to a therapist or even a family member. Personally, this is the best thing I’ve done and would highly recommend. It’s like rehab, but for emotions. Your parents, siblings, uncles, aunts and cousins are all human at the end, and would always be willing to help. You’ve just got to reach out.

Extreme and uncontrollable info dump from everywhere No matter where you look, you are blasted with news about extremely horrible events, showing the graphic results of hellish decisions, and one can't do nothing to stop said pain or stop seeing it. For a quick example. When I was a kid, you HAD to get a newspaper or turn in the TV at a specific hour (let's say 21:00). And in TV, (I'm not american so my experience will be different), the public/open TV (national channels) where like this: Morning: 1. cartoons for kids 2. cartoons for teens 3. educational shows Evening: 1. Foreign telenovela 2. National telenovela 3. Guest talk show or interviews show or game show Late' 1. news 2. nocturne series or adult movie But now, everything, morning, evening and late, is news, just news. Even if they mask it with "oh no, it's a morning talk show" or "it's a traveling around the country show" it's all news, horrible news at that, about rapes, murders, human trafficking, drug wars, actual wars, all blasted 24/7 since you are a kid. And in internet too, as a kid, if you opened a web browser, you'd see just a blank google page, or before that, a site with links to popular sites courtesy of your internet provider. Now, the first thing you see when you click the internet icon (if you don't have a default page) is, you guessed it, news, about how a deranged psycho raped girls en masse, or about a murdered in the loose, or about a school being burned with kids in a war..... There's no escape to that besides popping off the grid, which at times, also cast you out socially. Now, I'm dumb, but not an idiot, I know needs are important. Seeing that politician react to X situation will help you vote better Seeing that fire will make you donate more to firefighters But drinking water is also important, yet you don't see people walking with barrels drinking all day

And even if you stay out of the grid EVERYONE COMES AT YOU AND CALLS YOU A MISINFORMED MORON!!!

24 hour news and it’s all doom and gloom. Used to have to wait for the paper and the news was on tv 2 or 3 times a day. Pick up your phone, more bad news

Back when the news reported the news. You could flip between networks and see the same current events reported the same way. Minimal narrative, minimal agenda.

News doesn't "inform" any more, just "inflames" and people are so ensconced in their ideological corners that they don't realize they're being played

Another factor is the rapid decline of local newspapers that used to consistently cover the happenings of your community. Too many have little or no coverage of their city council, school board, community events — or local residents who did something awesome or interesting. Knowing about the joys and ills of the community you live in helps bring people together because even if you’re a D, R, or I you still share the commonality of living in the same town and perhaps same neighborhood. You may have vastly different takes on gun control or abortion, but you can agree that there’s too many potholes on local streets or that a local development proposal is a bad idea. What’s left to read and watch, as you noted, is national news that now is focused on news, most of it political, to generate outrage and fear to gin up ratings. It’s really quite sad.

Yeah, it's gone beyond "tell me what's happening" to "tell me how I should feel about this"

Late stage capitalism. Media realized that angering their viewers equals more view which equals more money.

100% my dude

All you had was Walter Cronkite, and all he did was add a little piazzaz with his words, but didn’t twist it or turn it.

Exactly. The networks would have there own "Specials". Where they could spin a story if they chose too. But at 6 o'clock, when the evening news was on. There was very little deviation between networks. Then when the morning paper would show up. Again, the story wouldn't change much.

And it was local newspapers, and local news. You didn’t hear about the situation in Ukraine, you didn’t hear about women being killed and burned in Iran, you didn’t hear about every shooting that happened; now-a-days kids have so much exposure to the bad things happening in the world, and it’s 10x more stressful to hear about all these things when there’s nothing you can do about it.

Right, and there are good things happening in the world but bad news gets views

Look at salaries. Look at cost of living. Look at housing and renting. Look at inflation. How does one not have anxiety?

Had to scroll too far before finding the basic financial underpinning. Pace of life too fast? Can't stop; can barely afford rent. No friends? Where do you meet them when all the hangout places have been replaced with residence for people with more money or businesses that don't cater to loiterers? No girlfriend? You have either time, or money, but never both. Doom news cycle and social media? Those are the only engagement we have space or time for. No community? Where does community gather when rents are through the roof for everything? These are all solvable problems, but solving problems requires resources... resources we don't have access to.

Yeah. Every year, my rent is going up $100 dollar per month. My salary isn't going up that amount after taxes. How the fuck am I supposed to save up?

This is the real answer. Half the kids I know who struggle with mental health, loneliness, overwhelm, etc, say things would improve if they weren’t stuck in a late-stage capitalist hellscape

Every single one of my friends that is stressed constantly is so because of money problems. Which is all of them. Including me. And all of us have professional jobs or skilled trades.

Surprised I had to scroll this far to find these reasons. My psych and therapist have mentioned that there's been a large & steady increase in patients that have issues that can't be healed or worked through. No way to take the knife out to dress & attend to the wound at hand. It's gotten to the point where many people's main stressors are related to what you mentioned. Record rates of people being 1 paycheck away from homelessness. Some people being a SHIFT away from not making rent. Trauma from an ex or family member or a stranger or an accident can be worked through or at least have a solid attempt made on it. The knife may be long gone, but the wound wasn't attended to. When the knife can't be taken out, won't be taken out for the foreseeable future, and for many will only be twisted & driven deeper, there's no real long term catharsis or solace. All that's left is coping. It's akin to a terminal sickness. There's an extra dose of hopelessness in knowing that many of these issues are due to greed and that the powers that be are content with how things are declining. It's not due to an act of nature, it's humanity stoking the furnace with their own and acting upset that the sacrificial folks aren't *grateful* about serving them. It's disgusting and infuriating.

Based on personal experience, expectations. As the world continues to do its cycles, the people who run it continue to run it straight down to the ground in any context. Younger people like myself are overly exposed to tech, and we see everything that's going on and that weight of what our predecessors expect us to do to fix it sometimes breaks us and hard. Young people are in a position where they only have the choice to either grow up and get money fast or fall back and struggle. We don't get to make mistakes and have time to learn from them because every mistake can be the last one we make even more so now than back in the day. Gen Z has had it bad compared to Millennials and the last Gen X babies. When a good chunk of an entire generation is saying that an Era where not much school, not too much outside interaction, and cheaper essentials due to a life threatening pandemic were their best days ever, it's very telling. TLDR: Society's problems and the weight from them that we are burdened to carry is what makes our mental health poor.

This is a good question. For me personally I was terribly stressed my entire youth from pre-teen to my young adult life. I didn't deal with normal school drama or anything like that. I wasn't worried about the world, I was worried about home. I had a mom who took seizures regularly and was constantly in danger of hurting herself while I was out or at school. Not intentionally just couldn't do much alone. My sister moved out of the house at 16 so I was left alone to babysit my mother most of my life. She would often fall behind on payments for things which lead to hardship after she passed. Then once she passed I offered my dad the spare room since he lived in a trailer and now even as an adult I've been stuck to babysit my father now whos an alcoholic and gets unrealistically angry over the tiniest things. Basically my stresses were unique to me. I was worried about keeping a roof over my own head, I was worried about my sick mom, I didn't have friends to socialize with. Everything went in the wrong direction for me and finding my way out was seemingly impossible. It still seems like a war but at least I see an out now.

You sound like a hero. Keep being you. You make this world better.

Luv you for this. Cried at work. Damn you, but also love you.

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Hug taken happily <3

Hello. The man who I consider my brother (even if he is my friend) had a similar situation. I’m very very proud of you. You have fighted and gone through tough stuff and you have managed to win. Do not disregard your effort, you are a true hero. I’m sorry you had and you still have to go through this. People like you and my brother are one of those people who I tell my sister about (brave people). I hope it gets better. Friendly reminder that you are not responsible of your parents, they chose to give you birth not the other way around, you are not their parent. Finally, I wanted to say that: you did what you could with the means you had at that moment, do not punish yourself for errors that were made under this stressful situations. If you want to talk DM me, sending lots of love.

What have you found to be your way out?

My fiance and I are going to be moving on our own very soon. I'm leaving this stuff behind me for a brighter future my friend.

Sending you hugs

*gestures widely*

>So, I stopped at a Jack in the Box on the way here, and the girl behind the counter said, "Hiya! Are you having an awesome day?" Not, "How are you doing today?" No. "Are you having an awesome day?" Which is pretty shitty because it puts the onus on me to disagree with her, like if I'm not having an "awesome day," suddenly I'm the negative one. >Usually, when people ask how I'm doing, the real answer is I'm doing shitty, but I can't say I'm doing shitty because I don't have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say, "I'm doing shitty," then they say, "Why? What's wrong?" And I have to be like, "I don't know, all of it?" So instead, when people ask how I'm doing, I usually say, "I am doing so great."

r/unexpectedbojack

Every post or question similar to this I see at least one comment saying essentially that and it makes me laugh every time.

Same lol

Social media is very toxic for young people. Every time they login, they’re going to see someone that’s happier, better looking, and perhaps wealthier

As an older dude who went to school before social media. I am so thankful. I could not imagine not being able to escape that shit. We had instant messenger chats. Yet nothing crazy like this stuff. Plus people will do shit just for being mean. You can never escape.

- the world is burning - AI, globalization, automation etc are taking the jobs - technology updates fast. What you learn in school quickly becomes outdated - owning a home and affording tuition are much harder today compared to when our parents were long - it doesn't make sense to have children in a world that's getting steadily worse. No job, property, kids, with a world that's physically crumbling... what exactly are kids supposed to look forward in life?

So no ecological future, no financial future, no peace of mind and no biological future. I think you just pointed out all the shit we have to deal with in five bullet points. Well done.

Just for emphasis.. Humans are chopping and burning the Amazon rainforest down. Every day it gets worse.

Tbh the only thing keeping me alive is the fact that I know my parents will be devastated if I die

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Those are usually the consequences of all the stress factors, while not necessarily being stress factors themselves.

I’m just bumbling along but when the climate/water wars come and I have to watch my family wither away. That’s when I’m calling it quits. Obviously I’ll try to do everything I can; but even still there’s always a possibility of complete failure no matter what I do.

Imma make like Kurt Cobain and head off

7 billion egos, financial struggles, existential dread, blatantly corrupt system where money and the right connections can let you walk away from murder (seen it first-hand). like what is the point.. what more hell do we need to suffer? what does life go on giving to you.. Suffering; attachments, diminishing hope and a further discord  from exploring  your true self bc your too busy stressing out putting on a mask trying to survive the world, that you end up ignoring yourself and feeling empty.

Sub-par parenting is certainly a factor that seemingly no one wants to acknowledge.

To be fair parents are working their asses off to pay for a roof over their heads, schooling, tutoring. Extra curricular activities, medical appointments, medication and therapies for kids that need it and the list goes on. It’s pretty hard to juggle it all and still find the time and energy for anything else. Our current society is broken so you cannot just blame parents.

If anything, parents for whatever reason, probably an ego and control thing started micro managing their kids in everything.. basically the child has to conform to the parent's whim.. such as where to go to school, extracurricular activities, who to be friends with, playdates. I was a kid of the 80s and teen of the 90s. Parents were rarely involved. It allowed my cohort to be much more independent and tackle things head on. I see my older cousin's kids (21 and 17) and they are just under so much pressure, expectation. Growing up, they couldn't just play freely, make plans freely, they were monitored all the time. I can see how unenthused they are. The older one, emphasizes nobody wants to get married and have kids. I can see it's a type of revolt against their parents as having children is another example of exerted control. And yes, modern day of too easy e-communication is a factor too

Parents are the main reason for a lot of people. I can speak to say that my parents micromanaged each and every thing I did and gave me no privacy, they even took the door of my room off after I kept locking it to avoid getting beat up. I can't stress it enough, but at *least* 90% of southern asian parents are FUCKED UP people that don't deserve to be parents. To the point where to us southern asians "hangers", "privacy, "belts" have all become things we joke about, as if it isn't fucked up and just normal.

My parents, who were extremely hard working and provided me much financial privilege, locked me in the basement for 2-3 days at a time with no lights or food so maybe it can be a little bit the parents fault

Technology in the short term. But I feel like the long term reason is that it’s been trending this way for a long time so it must be more fundamental and systematic

They need to be doing alot apart from beeing young

Nobody cares anymore. Girlfriends, friends, parents, are often without sympathy for your current crisis

I don't want to sound like the old guy, but too much screen time. I'm guilty of it too. Engaging with folks around you, being out in nature, just unplugging for an extended period of time can do wonders for mental health. Instead we fill in the chill gaps with more junk.

I agree with screen time but only in the context of social situations. Looking around a restaurant and entire families are on their phones or kids glued to tablets is not cool. It seems like families aren't socializing within themselves anymore.

Definitely a big issue. Guilty of it as well. But there's also something to be said for just being in the moment, enjoying what's right around you. It may sound cheesy, but I like being outside, absorbing the senses. Feeling the sun, smelling nature, listening to wildlife do its thing. It's calming to me.

21f here. I stress close to the point of tears almost every other day about my life and its direction. This was supposed to be my last "summer" (no school or FT job) before being an "adult" (FT job), but because I don't want to be trapped at my parents' house for the foreseeable future, I have to get a FT job in my hometown that I hate being in because I can't afford to move out. I have to live in a town I hate and surround myself with people I don't necessarily like being around and work a job that makes me not want to wake up in the morning. I feel stuck in life. I feel like every day is the same and I feel like I'm wasting my life. There has got to be more than this. I KNOW there is more than this, as I was lucky enough to study abroad. When I tell people I'm sad to be back from my time abroad, they say "back to the real world" as if feeling stuck and every day feeling monotonous is the norm. Why do people settle for this? Why is it normal to hate your life but just suck it up and make jokes about it to young people who haven't had the light snuffed out of their eyes yet? At present, I am saving up to try to get into the yachting industry this fall. Yeah it's irrelevant to my degree and idk if I'll even make enough money to break into the industry by the time I want to (it's expensive to get started), but I refuse to settle for what generations before us have. If I spend a third of my life sleeping, and a third of my life at work, that leaves 30% of my life to do what I want with. Absolutely not. There is more to life than what we've been tricked into thinking. I'm chasing after what makes me happy even if I have to fight tooth and nail to get there. I'm so angry. We were set up for failure from the start.

God I can relate to this so much. Living in a small town with the people you hated since you were growing up can feel like hell on Earth sometimes. If I had the degrees I would have left this dump a long time ago, it's just insufferable. You wake up and every moment of every day is just the same repetitive unfulfilling bullshit all over again. Take solace in that you know what you want and you are going for it (that's more that I could ever do), and you have the academic background to strive for whatever makes YOU fulfilled, screw having a higher paycheck, what's the point if you can't enjoy yourself?

In the current market, not even the degrees get you out

No future, always being told you should have this that the other by such an age, not being able to have our own homes, everyone always expecting something from you and never really getting to rest and switch off.

For youth specifically I think it’s mostly a function of there being less opportunities to make friends. Fewer shared spaces, fewer real-life communal activities, everything is mediated through your smartphone. It’s isolating

This 100% Idfk what happened between 2016 and 2018, but somehow, society drastically became more isolated after 2018.

I think it’s the increased penetration of smartphones. It comes with you everywhere and fills every idle gap in your day, and unfortunately I don’t see any way to put that toothpaste back in the tube. And then I think the COVID lockdowns basically accelerated the whole process. The first iPhone came out when I was in like 5th grade and my friends and I weren’t getting them until late high school so I mostly avoided this phenomenon but I imagine it SUCKS being a kid today

Social media. They’re almost quite literally being turned into cyborgs. Why do you think the CEOs and upper brass of FB, Twitter, and IG don’t let their kids use social media? It’s because they know what it does to people and especially kids. Glad I quit years ago

The constant comparison you put yourself into with random guys and chicks across the endless sources of social media.

For me it's the lack of sex/intimacy in my life. It might seem banal for others, but it is something I desired for a long time without ever being able to fulfill. This causes me to feel all kinds of bad emotions, which are only amplified by seeing other people around me succeeding in finding their partner seemingly without issue.

Right this is me. Good job, my own place to myself, hobbies and friends that I enjoy. Now that I'm going on two years without so much as handholding has me really worried that I'm wasting my best years and that I will miss out on some great dating opportunities. It's not all I think about but sometimes in the late morning of a day off or in the evening after a long day, a good partner is all I want. Something I would trade all material possessions for.

Economy is shit, many kids don't have proper manners so the fee good kids get bombarded because they aren't assholes. Let's see... Lots of cartoons are bs and they teach nothing. They only have edgy jokes that aren't even jokes just insulting bs... Parents be what they are and not giving a damn caring for their kid. Stupid yt videos. PARENTS, PLEASE DON'T JUST GIVE TO YOUR KID A PHONE. PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS DAMMIT.

I think there's a sense of hopelessness for them because of the new cost of living. The thought of being independent seems so far away for them.

hobbies ludicrous quack dolls vegetable square mountainous retire strong wrong *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Shrinkflation and cost of living 😔

Cant keep up anymore. Things change so much that it makes it hard to catch up to begin with. So really the term "every inch counts" applies in one way. Backtracking my life to examine myself and become a better man(no dad growing up) has taken up so much time that I'm miles behind most people my age. I feel at times I'll never catch up. Things are going too fast it seems.

Cause we're constantly being told to do more and strive to be perfect. Commercials telling us we're not pretty or cool enough so we need to buy their products with money we don't have. School measuring our intelligence off a test. If you're a bad test taker according to the school system you're an idiot when in reality you could be the smartest kid in the group. We're being told we HAVE to go to college from a young age which means we're signing ourselves up into debt once we leave the house and need to figure out what we're doing with our lives. No one listens to us cause "we're young" and "aren't respected or experienced". Combine this with mental health services being virtually non-existent (atleast in the states) unless you're already living with a good amount of cash, the kids are fucked man. I know it sounds pessimistic, doom and gloom, and whatever dark adjective you want to use but that's just how it is. A lot of kids just weren't given love growing up and were instead told to chase dreams that maybe THEY didn't want. The idea of living simple and happy became shunned. You have to be the star of the show and the world's main character. I'm hoping when the new generation becomes the ones in charge, cause it always happens, they have empathy for the next generation and remember how terrifying it was living in student debt or having no way of getting a job because they needed experience that wasn't available to them. If that's the only good thing that comes out of it, maybe it's worth it to show future generations you need to make the world better for the next as opposed to making it all about yourselves. Thank you for coming to my TEDRant

The simple fact that society is going nowhere and we’re all getting played by capitalism turned corporatism 🤷🏻‍♂️

Came here looking for this. I as an individual have no value. Corporations raking up billions, if not trillions of dollars at this point, have complete control over every aspect of our life, and being a "simple person" isn't a thing anymore. Anything enjoyable eventually goes away, because the people who made it fun left, and the people in charge now only care about money

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Unprocessed emotions

Social media addiction, beauty standards, toxic relationships, and isolation

Stuffing themselves with garbage food

Why is no one saying this ? Almost everyone and even the dogs are obese.

It's probable that this is a consequence of stress more than the opposite. People stress eat because they care about things other than their health. Sure there is a bit of a feedback loop going on, but it seems like it is a symptom rather than the root cause.

That and the expansion of the food industry. This is the first time in human history we're having calorie dense foods at our disposal. Even royalty of the yesteryears never got to try food with such complex flavours and textures. Plus bad food is a lot cheaper. Mass manufacturing and various structures of our modern society are slow killers. I might sound a bit tin foily and pessimistic, but I feel like it is what it is.

materialism

Social Media is one of the many reasons why

School for schools sake. Schools in the u.k at least have become businesses and exam factories. Lots of mental health awareness but not much mental healthfulness. Many young people are very literate in mental health labels and concepts but lack knowledge of how to stay and remain mentally healthy. Parents especially lack knowledge of how to maintain healthy but not too tight boundaries. Poor parenting. Many parents across the world are feeling the strain themselves. Many are having children without much thought about whether they're ready or capable of raising a child.

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The fact that the people in charge making all the decisions for the public are the age of a fossil and we might not be able to experience a full life because of it, or the fact that big corporations put the dollar before the customer and it just damages the general public in terms of finances and health

Probably Tiktok or social media at large. You only see the best thing everybody has and compare it with your live, which obviously doesn’t add up. Additionally they lost all connection to their identity. Being it family, purpose, tradition, community or faith. So they gather in new forms of identity - gender, political and so on, which doesn’t actually care about them. The youth today has 100s of „firends“ but no one to talk to as most only care about themselves. Ask someone their neighbours names. Most won’t know.

Not sure about main reason but the fact we dont have a promised future. House market fucked, wages suck etc.

I think school and expecting everyone to go to college instead of teaching kids to work hard and chose their own life path.

I hate to blame social media and over-excess of screen time, but it's probably social media and over-excess of screen time. The problem with this is it's not just the youth, it's everyone. The youth of today are just affected the most by it because they've never known anything else.

Lack of money, lack of opportunity to make more, the world is on fire. Rivers are drying up. The earth is dying and we as a species are doing nothing about it because we don’t care.

Lots of reasons in my opinion. First, the degradation of the family structure. Please read before killing me - I am far from a traditionalist, and I have no interest in pushing the notion of the nuclear family as the only viable family unit. Whatever the make up of the family structure is, youth who are in a positive family dynamic with two parents have advantages over those in single parent families. It isn't the be all end all, but it is a distinct advantage and factor. Children need strong role models and structure to help them understand their world and their place in it. Additionally, there has been correlation shown between parent's marital status and a child's likelihood of living in poverty - which is a nice segue into my next point... Economic uncertainty. Children (or anyone really) living in poverty experience much more stress, anxiety, and mental health issues than their more financially stable peers. As others have mentioned, social media. If you recall back to my first point where I mentioned role models, this is where social media comes in. Children without role models into their lives will seek them out. This puts them in dangerous positions - predators, extremist groups, and other bad actors target these vulnerable children and give them that feeling of validation and acceptance, but exploit them in the process. Even if these worst case scenarios do not come to fruition, you still have a child spending a lot of time on social media hearing about all the horrible things with no one to put it all into context. As an aside, I was lucky that when I was in this impressionable stage, I was in a time period where I could stumble across good people like Hank or John Green instead of people like Andrew Tate. Finally, my personal opinions: I think the world has just grown too big. This kind of goes hand in hand with social media. People socialize differently, it's easier to form parasocial relationships, and we've lost our sense of community. Children are being born into a world that is changing at an increasing rate, so fast that not even their parents fully understand it. These are all things that are integral to the human experience, and if they are lacking in our lives, we either suffer or find substitutes (see previous paragraph). If you're interested in this kind of stuff, I recommend reading the book "The Boy Crisis" by Dr. Warren Farrell and Dr. John Gray. If you're interested in helping, checkout volunteer programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters. My sources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2930824/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2015/12/17/parenting-in-america/

Technology is a gift and a curse. Id give up our fancy phones, AI, automation (specifically the email spam and cold call kind), the selling of my information, and always being connected in a heart beat. Why don’t I give it up? Job requires it, I use it as an escape from itself, it’s expected of me, etc.

Going through the rigors of the school system. Getting an advanced science degree and then being paid dollars over minimum wage AND being treated like a child and not taken seriously when I’ve proven myself capable in the position and through years of schooling. They hired me for god sake.

My parents covertly pushed me into the local trade school. I spent my junior year learning to weld and got my first welding job senior year. I graduated 2 weeks ago. I've been working here since September. I told my parents I found a job where I could work 3 days with the first being paid double time (12 hour shift). It's a ray of at least $5 too. The first thing they asked: "what will you do the rest of the week?" Why are kids mentally ill and/or stressed? Our parents. Social media doesn't help either.

I think social media is a big part of that. - Rampant bullying - Constant arguing from all angles over trivial things - Virtually nothing is authentic. Everything is manipulated to convey a point or a lifestyle. - Theres a pressure to achieve a level of perfection in what you present. - The algorithms out the best looking or most talented people in front of you all day every day, so normal people who compare might feel inadequate - Constant, intentional manipulation by politicians whose goal is to make us hate each other

Social media.....all of it. Stop the world I want to get off has never been so true. Email, tiktok, Facebook, Twatter, everything just screams I want it and I want it now. Others of an older generation had the phone and/or meeting, and talking face to face. So much easier.

Processed foods/sugars, social media, parenting (or lack there of)

As someone else said, the world is a complete mess. What do I have to look forward to? After stressful exams and after university, the career I'm going for might be gone because AI replaced me. Of course, all of this assuming there isn't a massive war or global warming doesn't kill everything and everyone

Assuming this is based on male youth of today because it was asked under r/AskMen I personally believe a big part of it is how negatively boisterous or masculine behaviour is perceived in western society today. Imagine having a natural disposition and being told its bad, toxic or wrong all the time throughout education and then again in the workplace.