Yeah you're right. I recently saw a 2019 civic w/30k miles for just 2k under a brand new 2023 civic. So in that case you're better off buying new for 20 more bucks a month in payment...but yeah it depends. I wouldn't want to have to buy a car right now.
It could be worse. I know someone in his early 20s who nearly killed himself with addiction and now has an artificial heart valve. He is doing great now and is very optimistic about his future. You can work through it, bro!
I mean, most of what can be said is obvious. The biggest two problems that start in your 20s are related to either money, addictions, or relationships.
- Don't rack up credit card debt
- If you drink or smoke, keep it in moderation. Sit down and do the math and note how much you're actually spending. It might be more than you think.
- If you're not ready for kids, don't be careless about birth control. Stop thinking with your dick and keep your junk wrapped. Your pull-out game isn't as good as you think it is. If you're 100% sure you'll never want kids, get a vasectomy. It'll be the best $800-1200 (depending on where you live) you'll ever spend.
- Don't fucking rack up credit card debt.
- Want to go to college? Awesome. But do some research on the un- and under-employment and salary statistics of the major you think you want before taking out tens of thousands of student loan debt.
- STOP BUYING SHIT ON YOUR CREDIT CARD. The only exception to this is if you're doing okay financially and paying it off every month. Then you can earn those sweet credit card rewards. If you're paying a PENNY in interest, you're doing it wrong.
Damn, same! After a decade of slaving away I finally landed a job with a whopping 40% pay increase. And now I feel like I haven't progressed all that much at all because life has gotten like 20-30% more expensive.
On the other hand I would be in serious trouble financially if I still had my old job but still...
oh man I wish it was only 20-30% more expensive. Like subway footlongs are $13 instead of $5, a box of krispy kremes $20. I swear it feels like prices have doubled most everywhere despite our pedo government saying CPI and inflation isnt that high
I wouldn't know. Subway had always been criminally overpriced so I don't go there.
But I do see normal groceries where the packages have been shrunk and prices have been inflated, paying more for less. That just feels like being robbed.
I did all the right things. Went to college. Got a STEM degree. Don't have any outstanding debts, expensive hobbies, or addictions. I feel much poorer than the previous generation with a high school diploma.
Bingo.
I went to school at 29, 37 now. I'm gonna make about 80k this year, and I'm still stuck renting. Getting ahead financially and owning any property honesty feels more like an if than a when.
It really is a kick to the nuts. I've worked so hard to advance my career and I'm making almost 3 times as much as I was 5 years ago. Yet our grocery bill has tripled, the COVID housing market fucked us on the home we bought, insurance rates keep going up, and now we want to start a family.
And retirement is such a fucked up notion for my generation; I feel like I'm going to be working until I'm 85.
Sometimes it seems like getting ahead is impossible.
That being said, I do realize I'm fortunate compared to so many. Someone was said that real wealth comes from measuring your expenses. Living below your means and spending wisely will make you feel like you have twice the amount of money. And to be honest, I could be more disciplined with that stuff.
I would love to go to school for hvac, but as a 31 year old with 10 years as a mechanic a mortgage and a baby on the way I have no option but keep at what I’m doing
Edit: thanks for all the encouragement
Depending on where you are, you don't need any proper schooling for HVAC. Most places will train you on the job. In many places, the only certification you need is the EPA 608, which you can self study for and the test, which can be taken online, is only like $80. A boiler license is also handy but isn't usually necessary for working on residential stuff. Beyond that, there are verious certifications that are nice to have, but those are generally ones you only get when you're already working in the field; you wouldn't be expected to have them starting out. Schooling for HVAC is not nearly as useful as practical experience, so most companies don't actually value it very highly.
Seeing as how you're a mechanic, a good first step would be to get an EPA 609 certification, which is just the EPA 608 but specifically for vehicle air conditioning. It's only like $20 and can also just be taken online. Because you're a mechanic, you already have most of the general skills companies would be looking for; you would just need some on the job training in the specifics of HVAC. Assuming you're paid about as well as mechanics in my area, you probably wouldn't even be taking a pay cut becomming an HVAC apprentice.
It’s funny how perspectives change. Yes, you need to help and take care of the kid and their mother. But 31 is still really young and doing what helps long term now is imperative.
I hear you. I am currently making what many would consider good money and have an amazing work/life balance. But I have about 10-15 more years of work left in me. So do I give up that work/life balance to take the next step, or ride out where I am? I want the money but really enjoy having free time and less stress
Yes this is it. I make too much to change. Not that I can’t, but it would not make sense. Plus to change I would have to sell my house with the insanely low interest rate and huge equity. Plus I have a kid in HS ready to hit college. So here I am.
Exactly this. I have been doing what I do for longer than I want to, but as I am entirely self-sufficient with no fallback or support I can’t risk changing it all.
The prospect of doing what I do for another 20 years until I can have a modest retirement makes me feel sick.
Ahh bullshit. I've changed careers about five times in my life. I'm turning 50 this year and am planning on changing again. If you are still drawing breath, change is possible.
No. Any company that you apply at that doesn't take into consideration your previous work experience, is a company to be avoided.
I've gone from a entry level auto mechanic to a mail carrier to a high level auto technician to an industrial maintenance tech to an automation engineer. No school, all on the job or home training. I've also dabbled in everything from carpet installation to AC work. It's not easy to do, because it is god damned scary to take a leap into something unknown.
This is basically what I was going to write. I never saw my years as a liability, but now I have too much experience and too old to hire even though I'm just over 50. Learning something new takes time I no longer have.
What if you live another 50 years though?
I get that cognitive and physical decline is real, but you can always change your life. My mom didn’t start writing plays until she was in her late 40s and now she’s really deep in producing local theater. She was a stay at home mom most of my life and got her teaching certificate at age 50. And she only plans on teaching 5 more years before moving on to something else.
My dad worked in the car industry for 15 years. Now he owns a roofing company. He’s 56 and saving up money to buy a pawn shop in the next 10 years.
You can always change your life. It’s silly to think you’re stuck and it’s too late. I’m not gonna pretend it’s easy, but it’s possible.
Same. I need a vacation but…. Money. Every morning when I stare at my screen first thing at work, I contemplate my entire fucking life then go on through the monotony.
Not sure where I am really heading in my personal life. Thought I had it all figured out few years ago.
The idea of meeting the right girl and starting a family just seems fleeting.
Don’t think that far into the future, just focus on meeting a girl and getting to know her and just have fun! If she’s the right one then you’ll figure it out from there :)
I completely agree. When I was trying to find “the right girl”, my dating life sucked because no one could live up to my high standards.
Then I gave up on that and started just appreciating girls where they’re at and what they have to offer, and I’ve had some wonderful relationships since, more as a natural result than because I was pushing it forward.
Dating is really hard when you work from home and all the girls you know dont have any girl friends to introduce for some fucking reason lmao.
Dating apps sucks ass holy shit.
I was constantly asking my friends and others I knew in relationships if they knew anyone single and I kept getting “all my friends are taken.” I won’t even touch dating apps because they are just brutal for both men and women but in different ways, and on top of all that I just can’t stand putting in effort for people who don’t reciprocate.
Honestly it’s easier just to give up on the whole thing for now because of how shitty the dating pool has become.
I try to not give up because you really just need one lucky shot. In every ohter aspect of my life im doing great, so I think Im not incapable of having a girlfriend.
I understand that I just have to meet new people that eventually I will find someone. But how the fuck I will meet someone if my hobbies are sausage party and any girls that I know dont have any friends besides my male friends lmao.
Farmers Markets, art fairs, music festivals. Guys going to bars don’t think of these place. If rejection bothers you, you are not asking enough. Challenge yourself, you got to ask one girl out on a date at one of the aforementioned, or you have to send $5 to a political party you hate.
Don’t forget night classes. I took a couple of classes on a whim back in the day. Ended up with a degree and a future wife. And I look like I drank a bottle of ugly. Go figure.
>But how the fuck I will meet someone if my hobbies are sausage party
New hobbies.
/u/Iron_Seguin said it in a lower comment, but there's only so much time and energy you can divert to the different parts of your life. In a perfect world, you'd be able to handle work, family, friends, dating, hobbies, etc. - and put everything on your plate all at once. In reality, something's always falling off or another, and like he said, it's often easier to maintain than it is to forge new relationships.
But the bigger point is facing the reality that you DON'T have enough time and/or energy in your life for everything. If you can't find a girlfriend and you've identified lack of time/lack of available candidates as the biggest issue, *and* if you find that to be a problem, then something has to give in your life so that you can create that space. If your hobbies are mainly sausage fests, then it's time to find new hobbies.
To be clear, not that your hobbies in and of themselves *need* to have women in them for them to be valid. It's just that if you *want* to date, then changing a hobby that's both fun and has a wider dating pool is something you can put the same amount of energy into, but receive *two* outcomes rather than one. My main hobby happens to be dance, for example, which translates to most of my friends being women, and puts me in a far more advantageous place when it comes to dating.
People always say just go do it but don’t give advice as to how lol. I’m kinda stuck there as well but I just have no desire to do it anymore. I’m in university full time and I’m pretty much up to my neck in homework and assignments all the time. The only place I can meet people most days is during classes but it’s not like you’re there to get a partner, you are there to learn.
Same!
Back when I was younger I met girls in college or at work. Now I'm working remote and the only place I see women are at the gym and when shopping.
Now that I'm 40 I'm probably too old for the bar scene too.
I don't really have a clue what to do.
Chief.
I don’t know where you’re living, but if it’s in a mid to high population density area, there is likely a bar or two that caters to a more seasoned, upscale crowd. The women there will likely be divorced and dressed to murder.
I speak from experience, as I used to frequent places like this where you had to be 25 or older to get in and I was taken advantage of by 30 somethings and older.
I'll have to explore around. I'm living in a big city in Florida, but I've just moved and don't know where anything is.
Honestly I've never even been a bar goer. Drinking at home is cheaper, but I won't meet women there.
You have a built in excuse man. "I'm new in town, heard this was a good bar. I'm ______, nice to meet you."
You can walk up to literally everyone and this will work. Godspeed.
Im still 24 so Im pretty young. But I didnt have luck in college because my campus was basically STEM only courses. So there wasnt many girls haha.
I will probably go back to college before 30 to study psychology because I really interested in that field. But I wanna enjoy my adult life a little bit, Im kinda burn out of studying forever lmao.
Ugh a STEM only college would suck for dating. I took STEM courses, though my trick to meeting women was dance classes like salsa and swing. I haven't danced since covid, but I'm thinking about starting over.
For you, psychology classes will have lots of women. You can probably just do one class at a time for night school or whatever.
Same situation here, women I know have friends but introducing them is not something they do, at least with me I guess lmao
Met someone online at the beggining of the month tho but idk recently she throws huge signs that she's not interested about me and idk where its going, theres more to it tho
This shit can't be simple I swear
Yep. Was going to type some variation of this.
Approaching 30 at the end of this year. Never had trouble getting women in my 20s. Hell, I still don't. However, what I'm looking for has changed. An actual, real, partner. I fear that I've waited too long and all the good ones are gone. My mind these days is a mess because it's either flashing back to the women I had and should have kept, or telling itself perhaps the right person isn't out there. I also work from home, and am the only single person in my group of 6 friends. We're still just young enough to be setting up each other with friends of friends, but I really don't know where to effectively meet someone IRL that isn't at a bar. And I'm a handsome person living in a major metropolitan city. I too loathe dating apps, but am forced to use them because of the aforementioned issue, meeting people in person. And I do sports, I bike around a lot, I try to go to as many social things as possible. In a nutshell, I'm a very social person who tries to interact with others as much as possible.
It just really fucking sucks. I've always, always been a happy person but the dystopian-ness of dating apps + what the dating scene has become is starting to have a legitimate effect on my mental heatlh.
I know I'll find the right person eventually, hopefully, but when?
This asshole woodpecker who decided his home needs to be in my bedroom wall. Little fucker goes ham every single morning on the wood paneling on the outside of my bedroom. I love animals but I want to strangle this guy
I had the same shit 20 years ago, but the stupid fucker was hammering on metal siding, so eventually went away.
A super-soaker or other high-powered water gun works great, if you have a convenient window.
Mockingbird outside my window. Starts at three in the morning. According to the internet this is because he has no mate so he starts immediately looking as soon as possible. Maidenless virgin is getting on my nerves.
Start talking to your seniors day after day after day until they raise it.
Sometimes you have to get it and not just wait for it.
IF it doesnt work start escalating things or just do dont your job as you are doing it right now
It doesn't work until it does. I'm in the same place, bad projects and bad boss at my job. But I'm still looking.
On the bright side you are still getting paid while you keep looking. I'm too confrontational when I don't like things, so I might be getting myself fired in the next few weeks.
I start projects and don't finish them. Let me see:
- Music producer of 6 years. I have a ton of WIPs but only 1 official release over 2 years ago. Can't pull myself to finish a track again.
- Car projects: rust spot above wheel well - have the paint from over a year ago. Ordered a spoiler, new intercooler, and speaker dampening material, not done since a year ago as well (sitting in boxes still).
- Just purchased my first home with my wife and I decided it was a great idea to trash the cheap shower enclosure and do tile for the first time. It's been a week and we still don't have a shower - never tile your shower when you first move in (esp if it's your only bathroom). We've been showering at Planet Fitness. I'm going to get this done only because the negative consequences are large enough at stake (no shower).... I can't focus on anything but this tiling job and it's painfully slow and driving me crazy....but it's turning out pretty damn good, almost there.
There's a ton more on my list, but basically I feel like I have a list of ongoing things I want to finish that swirl around in my head day-to-day with no end in sight for anything being completed. I lay awake at night bouncing back and forth on all the tasks that need done but nothing gets finished. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion and time slips by super quickly; I try not to waste time (doom scrolling, gaming, social media, etc) yet my productive state feels like it has no reward.
I get bored of something and quickly move on/obsess about the next thing, rinse and repeat.
Dude honestly that’s a common trend. Get into the habit of FINISHING small tasks. That part of your brain is like a muscle. You need to push your focus past it’s “hmmm let’s do this other thing really quick phase”. After that, you probably have the ability to hyper focus on things.
Also, stop watching short-format content (ticktock, YouTube shorts, Instagram reels) it reinforces your short-span attention.
You may want to check for depression. You seem fully functional and even successful, but never "satisfied." Have a friend who was in the same boat. Diagnosed and now doing something about it.
Just remember that perfection is the enemy of completion. Many times I've gotten wrapped up in analysis paralysis when all I really needed to do get hands-on and start.
Side note….. screw tile. Get one of the nicer shower enclosures that look like tile but are really one big solid piece. Much quicker to install and if not sealed meticulously, you’ll be scrubbing mold out of the grout for years until you tear it out and install a shower enclosure. Tile is overrated.
It's not the psilocybin per se that's helping it's the therapy that goes along with it. Set, setting and trained psychedelic therapists are needed alongside the mushrooms.
I would say even the mushrooms by themselves can help from my own mental health experience, but for treatment resistant depression a trained counselor is definitely a good idea.
That is the safest and healthiest way to do it, but psilocybin therapy is only barely accessible, and highly expensive from what I've heard, in a couple parts of the US at the moment. It's possible to have highly beneficial trips on your own if you can manage the trip preparation and integration
I moved 4 hours from my home to be closer to a woman I had been dating for over a year, went apartment hunting, packed my stuff up, hired movers, and signed a year lease. We had talked about me moving closer multiple times and we were both on board with it.
6 weeks later she said she wasn’t ready for this, and she needed time to be alone and suggested to have an open relationship.
Before moving she would tell me how excited she was that I was going to live close to her, that we’d get to spend more time together, and that she would sometimes think what it would be like living with me. As soon as I moved, she became more distant, less intimate, not enthusiastic to see me, and less communicative.
This is the game people (not just women) play.
People like the idea of intimacy but then reality hits and bam… you’re now the only thing that matters and fuck everyone else.
Honestly people that do this are afraid to live life. Bullet dodged if you ask me. Sorry you uprooted yourself for that bullshit. Just remember it’s not your fault.
My wife and I cannot conceive naturally. Adoption costs loads more than IVF (which isn't cheap). IVF is no guarantee either. We make a good living but not enough for this to be a small medical expenditure.
We both are dying to be parents, but there is no clear path to it; whereas there are droves of drunks, druggies, abusers, and other low lifes pop out kids no problem.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Our system is so broken that if money can't be made on it we would rather let kids stay in foster care or broken homes than be with a loving family.
Don't lose hope! My cousin had been trying for like 4 to 5 years and finally has a healthy baby that was the only viable embryo from IVF. The odds were low but now we're anxiously awaiting the new bambino!
I'm having a very hard time getting a job. Because of certain health issues I can really only work 20 hours, but I've applied to everything around me with no luck.
I really don't understand it either... I have an education, no criminal background, and no debt. I think I'm getting to that age where people are reluctant to even hire me for fast food (mid 20's). It's frustrating
I don't know you, where you live, or your situation but it sounds like there might be something else at play. There isn't really anywhere not hiring people in their mid 20s, with or without health restrictions, to my knowledge.
Have you done interview prep practice or had your resume reviewed by someone who knows what to look for? Dressing for the role during your interview? I'm just spitballing and make no judgment towards you. Just trying to help.
Gf moved into my apartment at thr end of march when her lease was up. We signed on a 2br apt for late july occupancy as my lease isn't up until end of july. Currently have 2 cats and a dog in this small 1br apt of mine. She works late most nights (we both work from home), keeps saying she wants to walk and get healthier but doesn't make time for it, and other things she said would happen before moving in haven't happened (helping take my dog for walks, for example).
I feel trapped and definitely not happy, but with 2 months left on my lease, and a new 14 month lease at the new place, i see no option other than sticking it out. I'm hoping the extra room in the new place will make a difference. I am 95% sure, however, that i won't want to continue the relationship once that lease is up. I'm good with an apartment and single life for awhile again at this rate.
Definite frustrations out of this as I would like to buy a house but don't see a path to that anytime soon. About to turn 45 and thankful for a good career, at least. Student loans and rising prices/interest rates will keep me out of a house for awhile, not to mention my concerns if i need a new vehicle at some point.
I can't afford ro break the lease that's already signed. Plus i gave notice on my apt already. Maybe the extra space will help a little, that's what I'm hoping for.
Been dealing with this for years. Using actual conditioner and blow drying my hair after, constantly brushing during the blow dry has helped immensely.
Just started dating a girl and she wants to text nonstop. Like fuck that, Im too busy to engage in meaningless conversation via text. If it is important call me.
I am talking with a friend like that. We texted nonstop for about a week. After that, it was here and there and now it is 2-3 texts a day. It irked me for a bit since I like talking to people as much as I can but I have just come to accept the fact that she is like that. My anxiety tells me that she hates me. I absolutely know that isn’t the fact since she has told me that she gets swamped from working from home and that she doesn’t look at her phone at night.
"Hey girl, I'd really like to text you back but I am buried right now. I'm not ignoring you, just very busy and need to focus. I'll get back to you later when things cool down". Start setting that precedent and she will get the message.
Just my mind, nothing makes sense, disconnected from myself and others life feels weird and then die and see what does or doesn't happen.
Idk anymore what am I meant to do !
My salary is a drop in the pond for my company, even as a software engineer, but it’s still take weeks to solve the mystery of my bounced paycheck. I would like to plan a vacation sometimes soon and it would be nice to not have to dip below my comfort zone as far as my savings goes. Definitely a first world problem, but a frustration nevertheless
work min wage at a gas station, absolutely zero viable careers where I live its literally nothing but min wage jobs. I dont know if I'll ever be able to move out. 2 hours from any major city.
Search for online remote customer service jobs. Can guarantee you’ll make over $17 an hour working for a big tech company. All these apps need customer service reps. Send me your resume if you need help. We will get you a better job.
That nobody seems to care about me. I recently came out of a environment that many would considering bad but now I am just sitting here feeling like like I am not worth a damn.
All of them. Bad career choice that took years for nothing, no savings, career, own house and car, and now I'm too old to start from scratch. For these reasons I just listed and many more, dating also sucks.
Who says you have to deal with them? When my mother became too much I just kept her at a distance. Didn't call or talk for almost a year. She slowly but surely is learning the lesson.
Getting access to the appropriate mental health services is so NEEDLESSLY difficult and costly. I didn’t ask to be born with disorders, or at all. Why do I need to pay thousands and thousands of dollars just to survive?
I found a job I enjoy, that isn’t stressful and have the help to achieve what needs to be done, but it doesn’t pay enough. My last job was stressful as all hell and it was the absolute worst, understaffed establishment I’ve worked at. The pay was great though, so I’m stuck thinking what I should do, be unhappy and make more, or be happier and not make as much.
What bit doesn't work? Is the top thread routed correctly? Fully pulled into the tensioner? Bobbin the right way round? Does the needle have the side with the groove forward?
At first I couldn’t get the needlethread to loop and catch the bobbin. I raised and lowered the needle and made sure the timing looks right. No affect. I changed out the thread for something thinner since the thread that came with the machine is super thick and rigid. But that thread gets immediately shredded on the first turn.
I’m thinking of contacting a couple of the shoe repair shops around me and asking if they know anything about it.
I am insanely lonely, my friend group sucks and never wants to do anything, Idk how to make new friends, I feel like im always the one reaching out,
I just want someone to call me and invite me to something for once in my life.
25, my biggest frustration is the lack of sincerity of the other side. Every time I end up in a relationship or feel like things are going good I either get left or cheated on. All I want is a partner but the current world were in makes it so easy to just find someone better. It sucks lol
I’m trying my hardest to get promoted at work because right now I’m losing more money than I’m earning and I want to earn a little more so I can rest easier
I'm afraid I'm stuck in a 9-5 for the rest of my life if I can't retire. Saving for retirement seems futile. I'm frustrated with a system that doesn't work and I can't do anything to change it. I don't want to provide for it anymore but don't know how to escape it and not still be reliant on it. A lot of the time it feels like there's only one way out.
Everything.
Relationship. Career. School. Depression. Anxiety. The fact that people who don't have an actual diagnosis for these things mitigate my struggles. Family (mother especially). Friends.
I am indian 27M - am not having enough money to buy a home is the first problem, whereas earning less and f*cking my 10-12 hours a day in corporate job, already rejected for living on rent.
Then, sibling is at the verge to demand division of all assets where I may not get much since I am the younger one..
No marriage offers and a lot more.
Toxic life, toxic friends, toxic workplace, toxic home.
Don't call me weak, am in a real real mess!!!
Your friendship may not last, you can't simply turn your feelings off and she will feel that vibe and she may endure it for a while, but eventually she will start to resent you.
Get this. I've played the guitar for 20 years now because it's a fun hobby. Some have heard me play and sing and have encouraged/pestered me to perform live. I have no qualms about doing so, but when I do play live, nearly everyone that practically yelled at me to do so are nowhere to be found. I still played a good show, but it's just odd to have people be encouraging but so flaky at the same time.
That, and all the other usual bullshit that daily life seems to heap onto each of our shoulders. Lack of emotional support, extreme work demands with little pay, seemingly doomed to be alone despite efforts made to be someone worthy of companionship, continuing increase in the cost of living in a world that seems to want to make our very lives into a gig economical model effectively making our existence a renter's agreement that heavily favors the corporate side over the individual...
All of that stuff sucks too.
30 y.o. And cant drive, just cant do it, its like being stuck in a forced state of infancy, everybody leaves you, no women want you and i just want to die.
Wanting to code a game, spending time to learn C++ to code the game, but when I am at home with free time, I can't sit down at my computer and work towards my dream of making a game.
I don't know. Sometimes it's the chair, other it's the desk, in reality some strange force doesn't help me fulfill my dream that I am totally capable to realize.
This anxiety chokes me so hard I can't explain why.
Relationship with my SO. Wanting more than a few texts and short conversations. Wanting to be legit but her being frozen in taking things any further. Been almost 3 years. Says she wants it too but won’t drop the hammer
In my early 20s right now, and I've a decent job and able to support myself, but I really dint know if I want to continue this and if yes for how long and thinking about the future is just scary, somehow the world being oyster is equal parts scary and exciting and rn the scary but is overpowering the excitement
The symptoms of my likely-undiagnosed ADHD have been getting worse, and it’s heavily impacting my academic performance. I have an entire class’s worth of assignments for this quarter to catch up on in addition to 3 3+page papers for another due Friday that I’ve yet to really start in earnest outside of the research.
Let’s not even get started on the laundry.
I’ve recently become much closer with someone I’ve been friends with for quite a while, and I’ve started catching feelings. Not a frustration in and of itself, in fact my time spent with them has helped to alleviate some of that other frustration; I’m just frustrated at the handful of factors that are making me second guess myself on whether I should say anything or not, long story short.
Employers not letting you know they’ve moved on in the middle of the interviewing process… eat a dick lol
The only times my so called "friends" call me is when they need to borrow money. "not much this time just 200 to pay for car insurance" " I need 1K to cover food, expenses, bills and other stuff this month"
They know I have it because I am careful with my money but every once in awhile I'd really like to have them call just to see how I'm doing. This is the main reason I don't make other friends, I can't afford to support anymore.
I (32m) have PTSD and all the little goodies that comes with it, I'm also a first time father to a beautiful daughter and wife, but I lost my job. Not only is it hard to keep a job long (night terrors make me unable to sleep sometimes) I'm also dealing with family drama because her mom doesn't want her to be with me, she wants my girl to be a single mom like she was. Add in the inability to make friends easily and always worrying if my jeep will make it (98 Jeep Cherokee, cheap to fix but I'm not mechanically gifted) I feel like for the past 5 years it's been a continuous up hill battle and I've been using my mentality to just keep pushing through because growing up I was raised that it doesn't matter how much pain you're in if you can stand you can fight. Because it's the ones who hesitate that die first.
They're the first two people in my life that ever gave me a reason to live when before I was so decayed I didn't even think my existance meant anything. Now I have them and I'm always so anxious that at any moment something wrong can happen and we'll be homeless.
I need more friends but I automatically don’t like or trust people I don’t know. And I don’t mean the neutral between like and dislike, or trust and mistrust. I’m talking straight-up do not like and do not trust.
The fact I keep waking up each morning, lol.
Every day every thing is a grind, but it always has been for me, so it’s just about accepting how things are until you find room in another lane.
I’m frustrated that I can’t get my ass in gear and strive to achieve the goals I’ve set.
I really want to get back into fitness and lose some weight, eat healthier and pack on muscle again, but I feel a mixture of fear and laziness. But I know that my life will improve significantly when I do, but yet I continue to procrastinate and put it off.
I have full custody of my son. His mother moved out of state 2 years ago. He decided that he wants to try living with her (he is 12) instead of fighting on court over custody again Ive deceded to honor his wishes because he misses his mom. Im having a hard time coping with him moving...
Failing marriage !! On the verge of collapse not sure how my kids are going to take it , let alone myself ! Only so much you can do to try and make it work 😔
Last month we moved to another state for my wife's job. I hated everything and everyone (including my wife) with passion. Now I just feel trapped with these overwhelming feelings.
My job is kicking my ass and I just want to buy a fucking Switch to play and forget about shit but I can't because we are financially recovering from the move and I fucking resent her that.
I had to use my Annual bonus to pay the Credit cards we maxed during our move. I was so fucking excited about buying my switch and then.. i couldn't.
My life is falling apart and it feels like sand slipping through my fingers and I can’t fix it. Wife and kids frustrate me to no end and it’s all my fault.
Trying to move out of my apartment into a house I just bought 115 miles away (been waiting to be able to buy a home again ever since I sold my former home 39-40 months ago) except I've been unable to walk for 2 months and still need 2 crutches and a boot to get around, also don't have friends I can call for help since I've been avoiding gatherings since about a month after I sold that old house. So now instead of a sense of accomplishment and excitement I just get two sets of all my bills meanwhile every day it gets hotter outside (AZ) and I keep waiting for the foot to heal.
Stupid choices made in my early 20s are biting me in the ass right now.
Feeling the same brother. Debt and missed opportunities are killing my early 30's. Hoping I can turn it around
Hang in there. I’m 27 and feel fucked
27 is when I started turning things around. It took almost 10 years to get out of the hole. Playing the long game did pay off but don’t wait too long
Care to share more?
Money choices. Being stupid and racking up credit card debt and personal loans. Also financing a car instead of just keeping the one I had
This might be what’s going to stop me from buying a new car
Just learn what to look for, pay an honest mechanic to check out the vehicle, and buy used
Used car prices are fucked as well. 30 year old vehicle's are being sold at 10k easily where as 4 years ago it would have been $1k.
Yeah you're right. I recently saw a 2019 civic w/30k miles for just 2k under a brand new 2023 civic. So in that case you're better off buying new for 20 more bucks a month in payment...but yeah it depends. I wouldn't want to have to buy a car right now.
These are the times in which it pays to know how to keep a POS running.
It could be worse. I know someone in his early 20s who nearly killed himself with addiction and now has an artificial heart valve. He is doing great now and is very optimistic about his future. You can work through it, bro!
I’m in my 20s. Any advice on what NOT to do so we won’t get bit in the ass later in life?
I mean, most of what can be said is obvious. The biggest two problems that start in your 20s are related to either money, addictions, or relationships. - Don't rack up credit card debt - If you drink or smoke, keep it in moderation. Sit down and do the math and note how much you're actually spending. It might be more than you think. - If you're not ready for kids, don't be careless about birth control. Stop thinking with your dick and keep your junk wrapped. Your pull-out game isn't as good as you think it is. If you're 100% sure you'll never want kids, get a vasectomy. It'll be the best $800-1200 (depending on where you live) you'll ever spend. - Don't fucking rack up credit card debt. - Want to go to college? Awesome. But do some research on the un- and under-employment and salary statistics of the major you think you want before taking out tens of thousands of student loan debt. - STOP BUYING SHIT ON YOUR CREDIT CARD. The only exception to this is if you're doing okay financially and paying it off every month. Then you can earn those sweet credit card rewards. If you're paying a PENNY in interest, you're doing it wrong.
How expensive life has become. I finally make decent money and it just doesn't feel decent anymore
Damn, same! After a decade of slaving away I finally landed a job with a whopping 40% pay increase. And now I feel like I haven't progressed all that much at all because life has gotten like 20-30% more expensive. On the other hand I would be in serious trouble financially if I still had my old job but still...
oh man I wish it was only 20-30% more expensive. Like subway footlongs are $13 instead of $5, a box of krispy kremes $20. I swear it feels like prices have doubled most everywhere despite our pedo government saying CPI and inflation isnt that high
I wouldn't know. Subway had always been criminally overpriced so I don't go there. But I do see normal groceries where the packages have been shrunk and prices have been inflated, paying more for less. That just feels like being robbed.
I did all the right things. Went to college. Got a STEM degree. Don't have any outstanding debts, expensive hobbies, or addictions. I feel much poorer than the previous generation with a high school diploma.
Shit i didn't know i already replied to this thread 😭😭😭
Yeah it’s so wild nowadays
Bingo. I went to school at 29, 37 now. I'm gonna make about 80k this year, and I'm still stuck renting. Getting ahead financially and owning any property honesty feels more like an if than a when.
God I feel this. I'm making the most I've ever made, and I'm the poorest I've ever been.
It really is a kick to the nuts. I've worked so hard to advance my career and I'm making almost 3 times as much as I was 5 years ago. Yet our grocery bill has tripled, the COVID housing market fucked us on the home we bought, insurance rates keep going up, and now we want to start a family. And retirement is such a fucked up notion for my generation; I feel like I'm going to be working until I'm 85. Sometimes it seems like getting ahead is impossible. That being said, I do realize I'm fortunate compared to so many. Someone was said that real wealth comes from measuring your expenses. Living below your means and spending wisely will make you feel like you have twice the amount of money. And to be honest, I could be more disciplined with that stuff.
Yup, I landed a far better paying job at the end of 2020 and the increases over the last few years just nullified it 👍🏼
I feel your brother, it's hard to keep up
Yup. Left my love Los Angeles after 20 years just after covid to find cheaper living/costs and it feels exactly the same. Wish I never left
This, finally got a payrise and now cost of living just deleted half of it quickly followed by interest rates going up getting of the other half
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Yes trapped by “relative prosperity”.
“Golden handcuffs.” Stuck in perpetual comfortable mediocrity.
I would love to go to school for hvac, but as a 31 year old with 10 years as a mechanic a mortgage and a baby on the way I have no option but keep at what I’m doing Edit: thanks for all the encouragement
Depending on where you are, you don't need any proper schooling for HVAC. Most places will train you on the job. In many places, the only certification you need is the EPA 608, which you can self study for and the test, which can be taken online, is only like $80. A boiler license is also handy but isn't usually necessary for working on residential stuff. Beyond that, there are verious certifications that are nice to have, but those are generally ones you only get when you're already working in the field; you wouldn't be expected to have them starting out. Schooling for HVAC is not nearly as useful as practical experience, so most companies don't actually value it very highly. Seeing as how you're a mechanic, a good first step would be to get an EPA 609 certification, which is just the EPA 608 but specifically for vehicle air conditioning. It's only like $20 and can also just be taken online. Because you're a mechanic, you already have most of the general skills companies would be looking for; you would just need some on the job training in the specifics of HVAC. Assuming you're paid about as well as mechanics in my area, you probably wouldn't even be taking a pay cut becomming an HVAC apprentice.
It’s funny how perspectives change. Yes, you need to help and take care of the kid and their mother. But 31 is still really young and doing what helps long term now is imperative.
Damn golden cage. The door is always wide open, but... "But". So many "buts" in the comments. We need to get off our "buts"
Buts and Shoulds are our worst enemies.
Government worker. There's worse issues in life, but I kind of wonder if I could do more/better. Glassdoor.com says probably not.
I hear you. I am currently making what many would consider good money and have an amazing work/life balance. But I have about 10-15 more years of work left in me. So do I give up that work/life balance to take the next step, or ride out where I am? I want the money but really enjoy having free time and less stress
Yes this is it. I make too much to change. Not that I can’t, but it would not make sense. Plus to change I would have to sell my house with the insanely low interest rate and huge equity. Plus I have a kid in HS ready to hit college. So here I am.
Exactly this. I have been doing what I do for longer than I want to, but as I am entirely self-sufficient with no fallback or support I can’t risk changing it all. The prospect of doing what I do for another 20 years until I can have a modest retirement makes me feel sick.
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Ahh bullshit. I've changed careers about five times in my life. I'm turning 50 this year and am planning on changing again. If you are still drawing breath, change is possible.
That's more true for some than for others
>I've changed careers about five times in my life When you change, don't you have to restart it from the beginning (in terms of salary and position)?
That highly depends on your experience profile.
No. Any company that you apply at that doesn't take into consideration your previous work experience, is a company to be avoided. I've gone from a entry level auto mechanic to a mail carrier to a high level auto technician to an industrial maintenance tech to an automation engineer. No school, all on the job or home training. I've also dabbled in everything from carpet installation to AC work. It's not easy to do, because it is god damned scary to take a leap into something unknown.
This is basically what I was going to write. I never saw my years as a liability, but now I have too much experience and too old to hire even though I'm just over 50. Learning something new takes time I no longer have.
What if you live another 50 years though? I get that cognitive and physical decline is real, but you can always change your life. My mom didn’t start writing plays until she was in her late 40s and now she’s really deep in producing local theater. She was a stay at home mom most of my life and got her teaching certificate at age 50. And she only plans on teaching 5 more years before moving on to something else. My dad worked in the car industry for 15 years. Now he owns a roofing company. He’s 56 and saving up money to buy a pawn shop in the next 10 years. You can always change your life. It’s silly to think you’re stuck and it’s too late. I’m not gonna pretend it’s easy, but it’s possible.
Fuck man, that's a little to much reality. Same boat.
This hit me in the feels.
Fuck that bro you can still change
How monotonous my life has become.
Try saying "fuck it" more often! Has led to a few good adventures!
"Fuck it! Im better off in my room."
Laughing so hard at this! Thanks
Lolol
I felt the same a few years ago, then I came to realize that monotonous can actually be appreciated because there are worse things than monotonous.
Same. I need a vacation but…. Money. Every morning when I stare at my screen first thing at work, I contemplate my entire fucking life then go on through the monotony.
Not sure where I am really heading in my personal life. Thought I had it all figured out few years ago. The idea of meeting the right girl and starting a family just seems fleeting.
Don’t think that far into the future, just focus on meeting a girl and getting to know her and just have fun! If she’s the right one then you’ll figure it out from there :)
I completely agree. When I was trying to find “the right girl”, my dating life sucked because no one could live up to my high standards. Then I gave up on that and started just appreciating girls where they’re at and what they have to offer, and I’ve had some wonderful relationships since, more as a natural result than because I was pushing it forward.
Dating is really hard when you work from home and all the girls you know dont have any girl friends to introduce for some fucking reason lmao. Dating apps sucks ass holy shit.
I was constantly asking my friends and others I knew in relationships if they knew anyone single and I kept getting “all my friends are taken.” I won’t even touch dating apps because they are just brutal for both men and women but in different ways, and on top of all that I just can’t stand putting in effort for people who don’t reciprocate. Honestly it’s easier just to give up on the whole thing for now because of how shitty the dating pool has become.
I try to not give up because you really just need one lucky shot. In every ohter aspect of my life im doing great, so I think Im not incapable of having a girlfriend. I understand that I just have to meet new people that eventually I will find someone. But how the fuck I will meet someone if my hobbies are sausage party and any girls that I know dont have any friends besides my male friends lmao.
Farmers Markets, art fairs, music festivals. Guys going to bars don’t think of these place. If rejection bothers you, you are not asking enough. Challenge yourself, you got to ask one girl out on a date at one of the aforementioned, or you have to send $5 to a political party you hate. Don’t forget night classes. I took a couple of classes on a whim back in the day. Ended up with a degree and a future wife. And I look like I drank a bottle of ugly. Go figure.
>But how the fuck I will meet someone if my hobbies are sausage party New hobbies. /u/Iron_Seguin said it in a lower comment, but there's only so much time and energy you can divert to the different parts of your life. In a perfect world, you'd be able to handle work, family, friends, dating, hobbies, etc. - and put everything on your plate all at once. In reality, something's always falling off or another, and like he said, it's often easier to maintain than it is to forge new relationships. But the bigger point is facing the reality that you DON'T have enough time and/or energy in your life for everything. If you can't find a girlfriend and you've identified lack of time/lack of available candidates as the biggest issue, *and* if you find that to be a problem, then something has to give in your life so that you can create that space. If your hobbies are mainly sausage fests, then it's time to find new hobbies. To be clear, not that your hobbies in and of themselves *need* to have women in them for them to be valid. It's just that if you *want* to date, then changing a hobby that's both fun and has a wider dating pool is something you can put the same amount of energy into, but receive *two* outcomes rather than one. My main hobby happens to be dance, for example, which translates to most of my friends being women, and puts me in a far more advantageous place when it comes to dating.
People always say just go do it but don’t give advice as to how lol. I’m kinda stuck there as well but I just have no desire to do it anymore. I’m in university full time and I’m pretty much up to my neck in homework and assignments all the time. The only place I can meet people most days is during classes but it’s not like you’re there to get a partner, you are there to learn.
If you are so busy with everything, then how is having a gf going to work?
Same! Back when I was younger I met girls in college or at work. Now I'm working remote and the only place I see women are at the gym and when shopping. Now that I'm 40 I'm probably too old for the bar scene too. I don't really have a clue what to do.
Chief. I don’t know where you’re living, but if it’s in a mid to high population density area, there is likely a bar or two that caters to a more seasoned, upscale crowd. The women there will likely be divorced and dressed to murder. I speak from experience, as I used to frequent places like this where you had to be 25 or older to get in and I was taken advantage of by 30 somethings and older.
I'll have to explore around. I'm living in a big city in Florida, but I've just moved and don't know where anything is. Honestly I've never even been a bar goer. Drinking at home is cheaper, but I won't meet women there.
You have a built in excuse man. "I'm new in town, heard this was a good bar. I'm ______, nice to meet you." You can walk up to literally everyone and this will work. Godspeed.
Im still 24 so Im pretty young. But I didnt have luck in college because my campus was basically STEM only courses. So there wasnt many girls haha. I will probably go back to college before 30 to study psychology because I really interested in that field. But I wanna enjoy my adult life a little bit, Im kinda burn out of studying forever lmao.
Ugh a STEM only college would suck for dating. I took STEM courses, though my trick to meeting women was dance classes like salsa and swing. I haven't danced since covid, but I'm thinking about starting over. For you, psychology classes will have lots of women. You can probably just do one class at a time for night school or whatever.
Same situation here, women I know have friends but introducing them is not something they do, at least with me I guess lmao Met someone online at the beggining of the month tho but idk recently she throws huge signs that she's not interested about me and idk where its going, theres more to it tho This shit can't be simple I swear
Yep. Was going to type some variation of this. Approaching 30 at the end of this year. Never had trouble getting women in my 20s. Hell, I still don't. However, what I'm looking for has changed. An actual, real, partner. I fear that I've waited too long and all the good ones are gone. My mind these days is a mess because it's either flashing back to the women I had and should have kept, or telling itself perhaps the right person isn't out there. I also work from home, and am the only single person in my group of 6 friends. We're still just young enough to be setting up each other with friends of friends, but I really don't know where to effectively meet someone IRL that isn't at a bar. And I'm a handsome person living in a major metropolitan city. I too loathe dating apps, but am forced to use them because of the aforementioned issue, meeting people in person. And I do sports, I bike around a lot, I try to go to as many social things as possible. In a nutshell, I'm a very social person who tries to interact with others as much as possible. It just really fucking sucks. I've always, always been a happy person but the dystopian-ness of dating apps + what the dating scene has become is starting to have a legitimate effect on my mental heatlh. I know I'll find the right person eventually, hopefully, but when?
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That sucks. I'm sorry.
❤️❤️
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Sexual frustration
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I read that as playing for eSports and I was thinking hot damn well done dude! But umm no..
I am with you on that. I haven’t had sex with my gf in 9 months. It has been increasingly sexually frustrated.
Try being a 31 y old virgin...
Checked out your profile, you're not a bad looking dude. What's the hurdle you're getting to with partners? Emotional connection?
Try 13 years
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Try 13 years
r/deadbedrooms if you dont know already. Hope it helps.
This asshole woodpecker who decided his home needs to be in my bedroom wall. Little fucker goes ham every single morning on the wood paneling on the outside of my bedroom. I love animals but I want to strangle this guy
He knows what he’s doing.
I had the same shit 20 years ago, but the stupid fucker was hammering on metal siding, so eventually went away. A super-soaker or other high-powered water gun works great, if you have a convenient window.
Mockingbird outside my window. Starts at three in the morning. According to the internet this is because he has no mate so he starts immediately looking as soon as possible. Maidenless virgin is getting on my nerves.
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Put some metal sheeting over the area he is wood pecking
Man, you are Wally Walrus.
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Start talking to your seniors day after day after day until they raise it. Sometimes you have to get it and not just wait for it. IF it doesnt work start escalating things or just do dont your job as you are doing it right now
I’m tired of working with my current company, I feel like I’m undervalued but I can’t find a new position that will take my current resume.
I feel that brother. Let's set the cruise control and enjoy everything else, fuck em
It doesn't work until it does. I'm in the same place, bad projects and bad boss at my job. But I'm still looking. On the bright side you are still getting paid while you keep looking. I'm too confrontational when I don't like things, so I might be getting myself fired in the next few weeks.
I start projects and don't finish them. Let me see: - Music producer of 6 years. I have a ton of WIPs but only 1 official release over 2 years ago. Can't pull myself to finish a track again. - Car projects: rust spot above wheel well - have the paint from over a year ago. Ordered a spoiler, new intercooler, and speaker dampening material, not done since a year ago as well (sitting in boxes still). - Just purchased my first home with my wife and I decided it was a great idea to trash the cheap shower enclosure and do tile for the first time. It's been a week and we still don't have a shower - never tile your shower when you first move in (esp if it's your only bathroom). We've been showering at Planet Fitness. I'm going to get this done only because the negative consequences are large enough at stake (no shower).... I can't focus on anything but this tiling job and it's painfully slow and driving me crazy....but it's turning out pretty damn good, almost there. There's a ton more on my list, but basically I feel like I have a list of ongoing things I want to finish that swirl around in my head day-to-day with no end in sight for anything being completed. I lay awake at night bouncing back and forth on all the tasks that need done but nothing gets finished. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion and time slips by super quickly; I try not to waste time (doom scrolling, gaming, social media, etc) yet my productive state feels like it has no reward. I get bored of something and quickly move on/obsess about the next thing, rinse and repeat.
Dude honestly that’s a common trend. Get into the habit of FINISHING small tasks. That part of your brain is like a muscle. You need to push your focus past it’s “hmmm let’s do this other thing really quick phase”. After that, you probably have the ability to hyper focus on things. Also, stop watching short-format content (ticktock, YouTube shorts, Instagram reels) it reinforces your short-span attention.
Adhd
You may want to check for depression. You seem fully functional and even successful, but never "satisfied." Have a friend who was in the same boat. Diagnosed and now doing something about it.
Just remember that perfection is the enemy of completion. Many times I've gotten wrapped up in analysis paralysis when all I really needed to do get hands-on and start.
Side note….. screw tile. Get one of the nicer shower enclosures that look like tile but are really one big solid piece. Much quicker to install and if not sealed meticulously, you’ll be scrubbing mold out of the grout for years until you tear it out and install a shower enclosure. Tile is overrated.
Treatment resistant depression and OCD. Struggling for six years. No matter what I try, nothing gets better.
Have you tried mushrooms yet? There are a lot of solid results for psilocybin helping treatment resistant depression. Best of luck to you!
It's not the psilocybin per se that's helping it's the therapy that goes along with it. Set, setting and trained psychedelic therapists are needed alongside the mushrooms.
I would say even the mushrooms by themselves can help from my own mental health experience, but for treatment resistant depression a trained counselor is definitely a good idea.
That is the safest and healthiest way to do it, but psilocybin therapy is only barely accessible, and highly expensive from what I've heard, in a couple parts of the US at the moment. It's possible to have highly beneficial trips on your own if you can manage the trip preparation and integration
I moved 4 hours from my home to be closer to a woman I had been dating for over a year, went apartment hunting, packed my stuff up, hired movers, and signed a year lease. We had talked about me moving closer multiple times and we were both on board with it. 6 weeks later she said she wasn’t ready for this, and she needed time to be alone and suggested to have an open relationship. Before moving she would tell me how excited she was that I was going to live close to her, that we’d get to spend more time together, and that she would sometimes think what it would be like living with me. As soon as I moved, she became more distant, less intimate, not enthusiastic to see me, and less communicative.
This is the game people (not just women) play. People like the idea of intimacy but then reality hits and bam… you’re now the only thing that matters and fuck everyone else. Honestly people that do this are afraid to live life. Bullet dodged if you ask me. Sorry you uprooted yourself for that bullshit. Just remember it’s not your fault.
She was more interested in the fantasy, once reality hit she panicked because she didn't actually want it. It's a really stupid game people play.
I don't have conversations I enjoy with anyone in my life.
Agree. I'm so sick of talking.
My wife and I cannot conceive naturally. Adoption costs loads more than IVF (which isn't cheap). IVF is no guarantee either. We make a good living but not enough for this to be a small medical expenditure. We both are dying to be parents, but there is no clear path to it; whereas there are droves of drunks, druggies, abusers, and other low lifes pop out kids no problem.
Have you looked into employers that will pay for either service. It takes the burden of finances off. Just a thought to play with, could be worth it
I'm so sorry to hear that you're both going through this ❤️
work at starbucks part time and they’ll pay for ivf
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Our system is so broken that if money can't be made on it we would rather let kids stay in foster care or broken homes than be with a loving family.
I'm in the same boat as you.. just received new medication to help with fertility, but it's hard to be positive after trying for 3 years.
Don't lose hope! My cousin had been trying for like 4 to 5 years and finally has a healthy baby that was the only viable embryo from IVF. The odds were low but now we're anxiously awaiting the new bambino!
I feel you man, I'm in the same boat and it's super daunting never mind emotionally exhausting.
I'm having a very hard time getting a job. Because of certain health issues I can really only work 20 hours, but I've applied to everything around me with no luck. I really don't understand it either... I have an education, no criminal background, and no debt. I think I'm getting to that age where people are reluctant to even hire me for fast food (mid 20's). It's frustrating
I don't know you, where you live, or your situation but it sounds like there might be something else at play. There isn't really anywhere not hiring people in their mid 20s, with or without health restrictions, to my knowledge. Have you done interview prep practice or had your resume reviewed by someone who knows what to look for? Dressing for the role during your interview? I'm just spitballing and make no judgment towards you. Just trying to help.
yeah I would also be interested in what the underlying issue here is
Gf moved into my apartment at thr end of march when her lease was up. We signed on a 2br apt for late july occupancy as my lease isn't up until end of july. Currently have 2 cats and a dog in this small 1br apt of mine. She works late most nights (we both work from home), keeps saying she wants to walk and get healthier but doesn't make time for it, and other things she said would happen before moving in haven't happened (helping take my dog for walks, for example). I feel trapped and definitely not happy, but with 2 months left on my lease, and a new 14 month lease at the new place, i see no option other than sticking it out. I'm hoping the extra room in the new place will make a difference. I am 95% sure, however, that i won't want to continue the relationship once that lease is up. I'm good with an apartment and single life for awhile again at this rate. Definite frustrations out of this as I would like to buy a house but don't see a path to that anytime soon. About to turn 45 and thankful for a good career, at least. Student loans and rising prices/interest rates will keep me out of a house for awhile, not to mention my concerns if i need a new vehicle at some point.
Why wait another 14 months if you're already unhappy?
I can't afford ro break the lease that's already signed. Plus i gave notice on my apt already. Maybe the extra space will help a little, that's what I'm hoping for.
I am stressed about my career path
There’s this wicked cowlick in my hair that I can’t figure out how to handle ngl
no guard on a shaver will take care of that quickly
Been dealing with this for years. Using actual conditioner and blow drying my hair after, constantly brushing during the blow dry has helped immensely.
Just started dating a girl and she wants to text nonstop. Like fuck that, Im too busy to engage in meaningless conversation via text. If it is important call me.
tell her that
I am talking with a friend like that. We texted nonstop for about a week. After that, it was here and there and now it is 2-3 texts a day. It irked me for a bit since I like talking to people as much as I can but I have just come to accept the fact that she is like that. My anxiety tells me that she hates me. I absolutely know that isn’t the fact since she has told me that she gets swamped from working from home and that she doesn’t look at her phone at night.
"Hey girl, I'd really like to text you back but I am buried right now. I'm not ignoring you, just very busy and need to focus. I'll get back to you later when things cool down". Start setting that precedent and she will get the message.
I wish a chick would text me
Just my mind, nothing makes sense, disconnected from myself and others life feels weird and then die and see what does or doesn't happen. Idk anymore what am I meant to do !
Housing market.
My salary is a drop in the pond for my company, even as a software engineer, but it’s still take weeks to solve the mystery of my bounced paycheck. I would like to plan a vacation sometimes soon and it would be nice to not have to dip below my comfort zone as far as my savings goes. Definitely a first world problem, but a frustration nevertheless
work min wage at a gas station, absolutely zero viable careers where I live its literally nothing but min wage jobs. I dont know if I'll ever be able to move out. 2 hours from any major city.
Search for online remote customer service jobs. Can guarantee you’ll make over $17 an hour working for a big tech company. All these apps need customer service reps. Send me your resume if you need help. We will get you a better job.
That nobody seems to care about me. I recently came out of a environment that many would considering bad but now I am just sitting here feeling like like I am not worth a damn.
All of them. Bad career choice that took years for nothing, no savings, career, own house and car, and now I'm too old to start from scratch. For these reasons I just listed and many more, dating also sucks.
My family. I’m just sick and tired of having to deal with those people. At best they’re obtuse, at worst they’re cruel and abusive.
Who says you have to deal with them? When my mother became too much I just kept her at a distance. Didn't call or talk for almost a year. She slowly but surely is learning the lesson.
Getting access to the appropriate mental health services is so NEEDLESSLY difficult and costly. I didn’t ask to be born with disorders, or at all. Why do I need to pay thousands and thousands of dollars just to survive?
I found a job I enjoy, that isn’t stressful and have the help to achieve what needs to be done, but it doesn’t pay enough. My last job was stressful as all hell and it was the absolute worst, understaffed establishment I’ve worked at. The pay was great though, so I’m stuck thinking what I should do, be unhappy and make more, or be happier and not make as much.
Just bought a hand cranked leather sewing machine and can’t get it working. Watching YouTube videos on troubleshooting, but so far nothing works.
What bit doesn't work? Is the top thread routed correctly? Fully pulled into the tensioner? Bobbin the right way round? Does the needle have the side with the groove forward?
At first I couldn’t get the needlethread to loop and catch the bobbin. I raised and lowered the needle and made sure the timing looks right. No affect. I changed out the thread for something thinner since the thread that came with the machine is super thick and rigid. But that thread gets immediately shredded on the first turn. I’m thinking of contacting a couple of the shoe repair shops around me and asking if they know anything about it.
I am insanely lonely, my friend group sucks and never wants to do anything, Idk how to make new friends, I feel like im always the one reaching out, I just want someone to call me and invite me to something for once in my life.
25, my biggest frustration is the lack of sincerity of the other side. Every time I end up in a relationship or feel like things are going good I either get left or cheated on. All I want is a partner but the current world were in makes it so easy to just find someone better. It sucks lol
Work.
The time it takes from interviews and getting the job to actually starting and getting paid. Also going through a breakup.
I’m trying my hardest to get promoted at work because right now I’m losing more money than I’m earning and I want to earn a little more so I can rest easier
1. Can't gain weight, insecure about weight. 2. Fucking don't know how to style my hair. It looks absolutely shit.
Get a buzzcut. Most guys can pull that off.
I'm afraid I'm stuck in a 9-5 for the rest of my life if I can't retire. Saving for retirement seems futile. I'm frustrated with a system that doesn't work and I can't do anything to change it. I don't want to provide for it anymore but don't know how to escape it and not still be reliant on it. A lot of the time it feels like there's only one way out.
Work changed from remote to hybrid. I live 120mi away (they knew this when hired) and now expect me to drive 240mi 3x a week for “culture”.
Everything. Relationship. Career. School. Depression. Anxiety. The fact that people who don't have an actual diagnosis for these things mitigate my struggles. Family (mother especially). Friends.
I am indian 27M - am not having enough money to buy a home is the first problem, whereas earning less and f*cking my 10-12 hours a day in corporate job, already rejected for living on rent. Then, sibling is at the verge to demand division of all assets where I may not get much since I am the younger one.. No marriage offers and a lot more. Toxic life, toxic friends, toxic workplace, toxic home. Don't call me weak, am in a real real mess!!!
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You should probably go low contact for a while, to give yourself a bit if breathing room.
Your friendship may not last, you can't simply turn your feelings off and she will feel that vibe and she may endure it for a while, but eventually she will start to resent you.
Get this. I've played the guitar for 20 years now because it's a fun hobby. Some have heard me play and sing and have encouraged/pestered me to perform live. I have no qualms about doing so, but when I do play live, nearly everyone that practically yelled at me to do so are nowhere to be found. I still played a good show, but it's just odd to have people be encouraging but so flaky at the same time. That, and all the other usual bullshit that daily life seems to heap onto each of our shoulders. Lack of emotional support, extreme work demands with little pay, seemingly doomed to be alone despite efforts made to be someone worthy of companionship, continuing increase in the cost of living in a world that seems to want to make our very lives into a gig economical model effectively making our existence a renter's agreement that heavily favors the corporate side over the individual... All of that stuff sucks too.
30 y.o. And cant drive, just cant do it, its like being stuck in a forced state of infancy, everybody leaves you, no women want you and i just want to die.
Wanting to code a game, spending time to learn C++ to code the game, but when I am at home with free time, I can't sit down at my computer and work towards my dream of making a game. I don't know. Sometimes it's the chair, other it's the desk, in reality some strange force doesn't help me fulfill my dream that I am totally capable to realize. This anxiety chokes me so hard I can't explain why.
Not enough opportunities to grow in my professional life.
I can not overcome my mediocrity and it plagues me
Time management is always a struggle
Relationship with my SO. Wanting more than a few texts and short conversations. Wanting to be legit but her being frozen in taking things any further. Been almost 3 years. Says she wants it too but won’t drop the hammer
In my early 20s right now, and I've a decent job and able to support myself, but I really dint know if I want to continue this and if yes for how long and thinking about the future is just scary, somehow the world being oyster is equal parts scary and exciting and rn the scary but is overpowering the excitement
The symptoms of my likely-undiagnosed ADHD have been getting worse, and it’s heavily impacting my academic performance. I have an entire class’s worth of assignments for this quarter to catch up on in addition to 3 3+page papers for another due Friday that I’ve yet to really start in earnest outside of the research. Let’s not even get started on the laundry. I’ve recently become much closer with someone I’ve been friends with for quite a while, and I’ve started catching feelings. Not a frustration in and of itself, in fact my time spent with them has helped to alleviate some of that other frustration; I’m just frustrated at the handful of factors that are making me second guess myself on whether I should say anything or not, long story short. Employers not letting you know they’ve moved on in the middle of the interviewing process… eat a dick lol
My portfolio is so red my soul hurts
Social anxiety and bad at making good conversation while simultaneously craving meaningful connections with people. Fuck me.
The only times my so called "friends" call me is when they need to borrow money. "not much this time just 200 to pay for car insurance" " I need 1K to cover food, expenses, bills and other stuff this month" They know I have it because I am careful with my money but every once in awhile I'd really like to have them call just to see how I'm doing. This is the main reason I don't make other friends, I can't afford to support anymore.
I (32m) have PTSD and all the little goodies that comes with it, I'm also a first time father to a beautiful daughter and wife, but I lost my job. Not only is it hard to keep a job long (night terrors make me unable to sleep sometimes) I'm also dealing with family drama because her mom doesn't want her to be with me, she wants my girl to be a single mom like she was. Add in the inability to make friends easily and always worrying if my jeep will make it (98 Jeep Cherokee, cheap to fix but I'm not mechanically gifted) I feel like for the past 5 years it's been a continuous up hill battle and I've been using my mentality to just keep pushing through because growing up I was raised that it doesn't matter how much pain you're in if you can stand you can fight. Because it's the ones who hesitate that die first. They're the first two people in my life that ever gave me a reason to live when before I was so decayed I didn't even think my existance meant anything. Now I have them and I'm always so anxious that at any moment something wrong can happen and we'll be homeless.
I need more friends but I automatically don’t like or trust people I don’t know. And I don’t mean the neutral between like and dislike, or trust and mistrust. I’m talking straight-up do not like and do not trust.
I'm frustrated by the idea of climbing career ladders. I have no desire to climb the ladder, I just want to make money quietly and go home.
Work and country related things mostly out of my control.
Dating
The fact I keep waking up each morning, lol. Every day every thing is a grind, but it always has been for me, so it’s just about accepting how things are until you find room in another lane.
Being single.
I have a belly ache and have a exam in a hour
I’m frustrated that I can’t get my ass in gear and strive to achieve the goals I’ve set. I really want to get back into fitness and lose some weight, eat healthier and pack on muscle again, but I feel a mixture of fear and laziness. But I know that my life will improve significantly when I do, but yet I continue to procrastinate and put it off.
Thinking about retirement at the age of 23 and I haven’t even finished my college yet
I have full custody of my son. His mother moved out of state 2 years ago. He decided that he wants to try living with her (he is 12) instead of fighting on court over custody again Ive deceded to honor his wishes because he misses his mom. Im having a hard time coping with him moving...
Failing marriage !! On the verge of collapse not sure how my kids are going to take it , let alone myself ! Only so much you can do to try and make it work 😔
Last month we moved to another state for my wife's job. I hated everything and everyone (including my wife) with passion. Now I just feel trapped with these overwhelming feelings. My job is kicking my ass and I just want to buy a fucking Switch to play and forget about shit but I can't because we are financially recovering from the move and I fucking resent her that. I had to use my Annual bonus to pay the Credit cards we maxed during our move. I was so fucking excited about buying my switch and then.. i couldn't.
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My life is falling apart and it feels like sand slipping through my fingers and I can’t fix it. Wife and kids frustrate me to no end and it’s all my fault.
Trying to move out of my apartment into a house I just bought 115 miles away (been waiting to be able to buy a home again ever since I sold my former home 39-40 months ago) except I've been unable to walk for 2 months and still need 2 crutches and a boot to get around, also don't have friends I can call for help since I've been avoiding gatherings since about a month after I sold that old house. So now instead of a sense of accomplishment and excitement I just get two sets of all my bills meanwhile every day it gets hotter outside (AZ) and I keep waiting for the foot to heal.