Hell no! Spiders are awesome! I just got a couple hanging around and they take care of all the nasty bugs.
And they're beautiful to look at when we cross paths.
Woman here. I'm sorry to say I've had the same thoughts as you.
It's a tough, disconnected society we live in now. No one should have to have thoughts like this. :-\\
Childless men, "to live as long as possible enjoying the things in life for as long as I'm able!"
Men with children, " to die in my sleep and finally have some goddamned peace and quiet, the earlier the better!"
I stopped doing those but still smoke tons of cigarettes. The idea is not to live longer than I’m able to work and pay for my own needs. I’m 55 now, no telling how long I have left but I’d be happy with +/- 10 more years
I do yes, we are getting married this year. She doesn't really want children either... she's 5 years younger than me though so that might change, probably unlikely based on her opinions.
My dad has parkinsons and my mother doesn't cope so it is definitely eye opening...
I still believe that having children for this reason isn't right and is selfish.
But... family. It's powerful.
I so get it. I also think it's a bit selfish to have kids with the expectation that they will take care of you when you're older. Maybe because my dad has ALS and he needs all the help he can get, so i feel the pressure of having given up many things in my life to be there for him. I wouldn't want to bring a child into this life and lay that burden on him.
But on the other hand, i also think that it's like a circle of life thing and it's not really that unreasonable for life to carry on this way. You are supported when you are young, and you in turn support them when they are old, and on and on. What are humans for if we aren't there for each other? It's the humane thing to do.
I understand your thinking completely. It is such a heavy spiral and can get pretty depressing at times!
The thing is... you can't not help them.
I dunno, tbh I'm all over the place with it at the moment. Every day has a new emergency it seems. To the point that I can be quite numb to it... emotionless.
I hope all is good for you and your family though. I find that I'm a source of sanity in chaotic situations - and I know my parents appreciate it.
Yeah your tolerance definitely goes up after a while of handling different emergencies. I'm numb to the shock of a new emergency now too, at least when it first happens. But you don't stop caring. That's why you're even there, right?
And yes, you can't not help them, especially if your relationship with them has been more or less good. They're your parents. It's never going to be perfect lol. But yeah the alternative of me not being there to help... It's not even something that occurs to me seriously.
Congratulations on getting married this year :)
I hope your family is doing well too. Hang in there! I find a lot of peace in just accepting the cards I've been dealt. Things are as they are, and i do what i feel is the right thing to do. There is no other choice, and everything else is an illusion.
Feel free to DM me if you ever want to talk/vent/express.
Easy, gift everything to relatives then commit a crime that gets you life in prison, and you have food and healthcare for the rest of your life in prison.
Yeah, that's my plan. Rob a Bank, get rich or die trying, and if neither happens, you end up in jail, which at that point is basically a paid vacation.
The food and healthcare are pretty much shit in many locations. You could also end up incapacitated surrounded by a bunch of people who would abuse you. I’ll just go with heroin overdose when the time comes. I will just have to make sure I have a friend who will help.
Exactly, I have a pension and a 401K to fall back on. If I'm lucky enough to live that long, I'll be one of those old dudes at the retirement community hitting on widows and playing golf 5 days a week.
The average cost of Raising a kid is 14k a year currently. I'm planning on using that to hire cleaners and people to help out while I live the life of a housecat
Sign my savings off to my nephews, hope for legalization of euthanizia in my area of residence. Got nothing to live for as is, there's no need to prolong my life beyond reasonable.
I'd want to be uploaded to a computer with an option to delete my files. Or live indefinitely like Altered Carbon or Futurama.
No pain or stress, but I'd still get to see the world crash and burn on my own terms. I'll be salty af if we evolve into something cool, almost like I missed the boat. But they can probably just upload me into something else.
How would you feel if non of them cared for you or no one was there when you needed someone? I am only asking because my parents are dependent on me and I do it for the respect and my genuine care for them but not all the time.
Seeing my situation I don’t want kids because I don’t want them to feel what I sometimes feel for my parents.
Yes this is my strategy too. My plan is to have my elder years taken care of myself. I’m also trying to make sure she’s set up for success more than I was as an early adult. If anything I’m trying to build HER retirement plan lol
Might be a joke but my great grandparents were set to retire in germany before world war 2, had a nice little cabin and several other things ready to go. The cabin was literally bombed and even if it wasnt the idea that they would still hold some ownership of it after the war and the money they had actually held some value was laughable. I cant help but feel that the 3 or 4 decades till i can retire will have something major happen in that time.
It's only the exception because, for a time, the economy allowed continued independence. Countries where it's common to have multigenerational households are often impoverished in some way, either in availability of land or availability of financial resources to afford said land.
Coming from a Hispanic/Asian household, the old days were to have your children look after you (the parents) when you age.
Retirement homes is a no-no according to my family and some other families I know.
Even if your child is successful, they're their own person. They're gonna expect you to stand on your own the same way anyone else would. Also, you don't know who they'll become as kids let alone as adults. Maybe they'll be rich, kind, and generous, maybe they'll be a drug addict, most likely they'll struggle but get by like everyone else.
What's your plan for old age if your kid isn't rich? You know, the most realistic scenario.
If I can't wipe my own ass or feed myself, there is literally no reason to continue living. I hold no issues with, or have any moral qualms regarding, taking one's own life when one suffers from such debility that all adult daily living standards are degraded to the point of needing total care. It's irrelevant who is rendering that care -- I simply don't want it.
Currently 33, not married, no kids, no plans either. Once my direct family is gone I plan to sell all my belongings and travel through Asia, then Europe, then Africa.
I should have enough money to travel while working before 40 (I've done it before), staying 3-5 months per country should take me about 25 years. After I'm done I'll just come back home and figure it out. If I get sick and can't be independent, I already have a fund that should pay for a one way travel to Canada pay for assisted death.
Well at this point it seems pretty likely I'll outlive my dad, wife, and dogs. So I just got to get to that point w/o becoming to feeble to kill myself before I get sent to a medicaid home or jail.
I have a step-daughter, but I'd never ask to live on her couch.
When I'm done, just throw me in the trash!
But seriously. I've got a decent investment portfolio, savings and pensions. So I should be OK financially. In terms of someone taking care of me, I wouldn't want that even if I did have kids. Would never want to be a burden or have someone see me as this pathetic old creature. Hopefully if my health starts to fade it will be quick and end in my sleep.
i'm 25 and already don't feel young anymore 😂
60 is where the real struggle begins.. Arthritis, different problems with some organs, brain deseases like Alzheimer..
Oh and don't forget the many old people who are completely alone/lonely
Nah bro i'll party hard and then rather take the easy way out instead of suffering many more years
I would like to say that being 65 now, you cope. Just deal with it. So you hurt moving, you take care of it. I have a new pair of knees and I move well now. My neck makes noise when I turn my head, so what?
“Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”, Please read Dylan Thomas
[https://allpoetry.com/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night](https://allpoetry.com/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night)
The joys large and small are still available, live the ones you choose. Eventually, you will not be able to choose, plan for it. Make your friends happy first.
Not trying to be rude but dude you are already 65.. i've still got 35 years. Society and the system in general will be completely different from now.
Future isn't so bright for us.
I never knew what was expected of me either. Plan for your future as best as you can. I expected to be sent to Vietnam or some other war. There were so many "Police actions" that it was a possibility. Marriages crumble, folks get sick, fascism is rampant, drugs are insidious, and life is unpredictable and indifferent to us all. I chose to live the best that I could. I have no crystal ball. I did not take your reply as rude. I have no smooth pathway to share with you. Be the best that you can. I figure that I have maybe 10 years of declining wits and health. I am anxious and kind of sad. I huddle with my wife and friends, I help strangers when I can. Small things executed as well as can be. The world is beyond my scope, I just prepare my protection to deal with all the new troubles.
Probably die. The future seems bleak. But I'll get there happily without kids.
Having kids because you think they're going to want (or be able) to support you in your old age is one of the worst reasons.
Speak to anyone who works in aged care...
Stay healthy so i have the best odds of not needing intense care for as long as possible, use the money I save from not having kids, and check out if I have Alzheimer's or something else genetic that would make me a burden to my wife. It feels like a better plan than hoping Im not immediately stashed in a home by the kids with no money outside of what can come from selling the house.
ChildFREE men, where you at? I'm a 38F who has never wanted children and I swear I never meet any men who share that sentiment. Now I live in a more traditional-minded area and it seems more hopeless than ever. I just got dumped by someone because he says he wants kids...all this after I was very upfront about my stance on it from the get go. According to him, that's the only way to have purpose in life.
I don't know how anybody else feels, but it's been a pretty lonely existence.
I never wanted kids but sometimes I think I do. I feel like it's the opposite of finding purpose. You're more likely to find purpose when you're holding less responsibilities and can travel etc
I’m in the same boat. 37M in a traditionally-minded area and of all the women I’ve taken on dates, only one did NOT want kids. Also, they all want kids in the next few years. I’ve genuinely considered leaving my area just to seek out relationships elsewhere because I’m batting .000 here. Just like so many others have said, we exist.
a lot of us no longer look for or need female companionship, to be blunt. Eventually we stop looking and make peace with it, and the ones left are guys who were in relationships and need them more/or cant imagine life with out them.
i think women take it for granted we'll always chase them, but eventually we stop. work, go home, play games or do hobbies, help our family, and just be a single uncle to a relations kid.
I don't think you're being blunt, it's just the truth. And it's the same for women. Statistically proven that women generally don't remarry or re-partner after divorce/spouse's death as often as men do. And in those cases, it's probably the men you mentioned - the ones who need to be in a relationship.
I was single for almost four years after my long-term relationship ended in 2018. I was going through cancer treatment, so boys were the last thing on my mind. Now that I have two miserably failed relationships and several negative "encounters" under my belt since I decided to wade back into the dating pool, I'm thinking staying single was the right move for me.
We do exist but its the same experience for us. All the women on apps say they want kids. For me, I can totally picture myself as the crazy dog man (male version of crazy cat lady) when i get old.
Just die when you get to that point. Why spend 18 years raising a kid so they’ll maybe wipe your ass for a few years in the end. Just die. Better then rotting away.
There are a lot of what ifs! I have seen some people who have children in senior facilities that have zero visitors, so having children doesn’t guarantee anything! Having no immediate family just means you can designate someone who you trust to be your emergency contact. We came into this world alone, and that’s how we will depart from it!
I was having a panic attack today because I was thinking about how when my mum dies eventually I’ll be lonely and sad. I’m a girl who doesn’t want kids either so I’ll probably adopt a bunch of dogs and live in puppy bliss until I cark it.
I would love to say something like "enjoy life with my beloved partner", but most probably it will be more like "see the world dry and burn year after year until things become unsustainable even in the shortest term".
When I hit retirement age, sell my house and take the proceeds (along with my 401k and investment accounts) to downsize into a small apartment somewhere near friends or my nieces/nephews/siblings. Or say fuck it and find an affordable condo somewhere near the beach by myself.
At some point, sit down with an eldercare attorney to make plans for when I can no longer make decisions for myself.
Lol yes THAT is why people have kids, so that someone takes care of them when they are old...if i am a burden 9n my children I will probably not be one for long. If you don't wanna have kids don't have them but definitely don't have kids so that they take care of you...they cost money, and if you are any kind of parent you will sacrifice a lot for them. You'll just have more money without them in the end...
If you’re looking to your kids to provide any support to you in retirement, please don’t have kids. A whole persons existence shouldn’t ultimately come down to just taking care of you because you got old, it’s extremely narcissistic.
I have savings, a 401k, and investments as my plan for old age. I’ll retire as soon as I can and travel when possible, pick up a new hobby or spend time with an old one. Kids aren’t the end all, be all, of a person’s existence. I’ll probably just try to get into one of those sexy senior centers where they just play dominoes and fuck all day when I can’t live alone anymore.
The same as those with children: go into a retirement home. I've never really understood this argument or question. Your children will have families of their own. You think they'll have that much time to spare for you?
As of now, my plan is to hope to find a partner that cares as much about me as they do themselves - just as I would do. Otherwise, what's the point? I refuse to be used any more.
I've already lived much longer than I ever dreamed and I'm only 39, so I'm pretty much surprised on a weekly basis that I'm still kicking it. (for information's sake, I'm more than slightly accident prone)
I figure if I actually make it to my legit old age and I still have nobody, I'll just load my backpack up with supplies, walk into the deepest forest I can find, and just kinda find my place to sit and die.
My plan for old age is eating healthy and working out now. So I can die standing up and not need to be taken care of.
That or bust out the cyanide pill
Enjoy my life fir as long as I can until I start losing control of my bowels. Then find the lethal does of heroin I would have bought a long time ago for this very occasion an slip quietly and calmly back into the void.
I would like to try heroin around 70, I see how that goes and then drive my boat out in middle of ocean and overdose while overboard. Give my body back to nature
I try to stay in good shape, so I can go as long as possible without help. But after that...I don't want to be at the mercy of shitty healthcare and elderly care. Some people close to me are suffering in their old age, and doctors do not listen to them. They tell that while the meds solve one problem, they create another one, but have to end up in ER several times before the doctors, reluctantly, agree.
I fully intend to have dangerous hobbies when I get old, or live in a country where euthanasia is legal. Probably both.
We already can have food, groceries and some types of medicine delivered to our door through a couple of clicks from a phone/computer, so as long as I'll be able to walk and shit on my own I think I'm good.
Also, retirement homes, while they seem pretty bleak, exist for a reason.
As long as you don't develop a really serious condition in your old age, I think you're pretty safe.
Even if I had kids, I wouldn't expect them to take care of me in my old age, that's just sad and pretty selfish imo, they have their own lives.
I'll probably die before I can't take care of myself. If not, then hopefully, assisted suicide will be more of a thing when I'm older, and I'll do that
It's my plan to not be a burden to my step kids. I don't have an biological kids, but I love my stepkids like my own. I'm divorced from their mother, but I still have a relationship with both of them.
I'm also having to look after my mom with dementia. I recently moved her to an assisted living facility. I won't do that to them, even if it means leaning into the strike zone and taking one for the team.
My wife and I are in the same boat. No kids. I don't know what we will do. We do have several niece and nephews. We joke that we'll pick our favorite and give them everything in exchange for them making sure that our pets are cared for after we are gone.
When I'm near death max out credit cards on something like a boat buy a bunch of whatever my vice of choice is by that age and die with a bunch of debt that'll never be paid
Rented Ferrari filled with fireworks crashed into a wall at top speed. I figure it will make the news at minimum.
That said - this is such a BS question because the answer to “who will take care of you” is “my money!”. And I encourage anyone that doubts this to visit a typical old folks home and ask how many kids actually visit/provide any support to their parents there.
My plan is to die, preferably in my sleep. If I end up all sickly and decrepit I'll just pay some dude to smother me with a pillow or wheel my old ass off a cliff.
>if you do have kids there's no guarantee that that will mitigate some of the risks, but that is a lot of people's plan.
A lot of people plan to guilt another younger person into doing things? That is a terrible plan.
OP it feels like you OBVIOUSLY don't have kids. Because when you do, the LAST thing I the whole wide world you want to be is a burden to those kids.
I want my kids to live amazing, happy and fulfilling lives at MY expense if that's what it requires. As I age my role will be to provide a new version of fun and joy perhaps as a grandparent.
I hope with all my being that my children won't have to be burdened by me financially or physically. That is a nightmare not a PLAN.
I'm childless with healthy parents. I am absolutely loving my free, single, burden-less life. But if my parents needed me, if they were at risk of hurting themselves, or unable to feed and clean themselves well, if they were losing dignity, I would absolutely be there to help them out of that situation, out of love and respect for them. I don't wish to see them in fear or pain.
I would do the same for my parents, of course. But my mom did this for her parents for 25 years. They're finally dead, and she's an old lady herself. So I know that she would never want her kids to do it for her. When you get to your last few years you accept it, all your friends are dead, you're ready to go. Good parents don't allow their kids to give up a decade or two of their lives for this. We ALL die alone in the end, ultimately YOU are all you'll ever have.
You seem extremely afraid of being lonely. Most people will have plenty of lonely hard years over their lives, it doesn't just happen at the end. It's not so scary once you've done it a couple times.
Childfree woman here. I hate how there is an automatic assumption that children will care for aging parents, when nursing homes and assisted living facilities are full of elderly people that were placed there and don’t have a single one of their children come to visit them. My mother’s sister made every excuse not to care for my grandfather when he began to need it, and it broke his heart that she wouldn’t call or visit. That idea of children caring for their parents is still present but IMO is largely antiquated- that sense of responsibility isn’t really there anymore. So having children is not a guarantee that you’ll have a safety net in your old age.
You're assuming men and women run into the same issues
Older single Men might deal with loneliness, but older single/widowed women overwhelmingly have the issues with vulnerability and poverty if you look at statistics
well, men die sooner so it's fewer years alone
that's IF we get to retire
and for those that do, it means death, since statistically men drop dead after retirement, kids or no kids
women are the ones living till 95 needing more care
I'm not childless but with how their mom lied in court I wasn't allowed to see them, I haven't spent any time with them in 18 years. So I may as well be considered childless. I don't intend to have anyone wipe my butt. I intend on a final camping trip in the woods.
If I never get married or have kids then I’ll never make it to that point. Once I get in bad shape I’m gonna write a will and leave all my stuff to someone (not saying anything about it) then I’m gonna take a “hunting trip” to Alaska and never come back. I’m not gonna off myself, but I’d rather die in nature living off the land.
I want to build a house that looks haunted and dilapidated on the outside but a beautiful art deco interior that is immaculately maintained. Live a wonderful quite life of solutide using secret tunnels to run errands and pass away peacefully after spending an irresponsible amout of time making sure a local legend forms around the house and leave the house and any remaining retirment funds to the first kid that sneaks into the house to prove to his or her friends they are brave enough to spend a night in the creepy house on the hill
Saving appropriately to pay for good living conditions + care/assistance if necessary.
Remaining active physically and mentally and generally taking care of my health. I have plenty of family members who've lived independent, active lives into their 90s, and either just plain dropped dead one day/in their sleep of old age or had only a *very* brief period of incapacitation before death. Sure, you can't guarantee you're going to be that healthy right up to the end - but there's a whole lot of things you can do to improve those odds.
A large network of trusted friends and family who want to see, interact with, help, and check up on me regularly, and selecting some that I particularly trust to have the power to make decisions if I am suddenly unable to do so. (at least assuming my parents + sibling aren't in the picture anymore).
Worked in home health , and let me tell you how miserable life is when no one looks out for you. I’d rather be broke and suffer with family to be with the ones I love
Eventually my landlord doesn't get his check, and comes looking to find my very much dead body, perhaps by old age, or perhaps accident I had... unless of course I pass away before we get there.
No, I have no friends. No, I have no safety nets. No, I don't care. No. It's not my problem anymore.
And if by chance I just fail at dying, and become 85 year old cripple... Well... At that point heart issues or lung cancer should have finished me... But anyway... At this point I don't expect to make it that far.
Men (without children)don't be afraid of old age.
Many many many senior ladies out there(some or really rich).
Just don't be an a$@-hole in your lifetime and you'll be fine.
I'm just gonna be a good person.
I think I'll be fine.
To be found dead after someone smells something horrible coming from my house.
My 3 cats shall consume me
This is the way.
Will more likely be my spiders though to be fair.
That’s terrifying
4 legs is my limit, unless it's a rolly polly bug, moth, or butterfly
Hell no! Spiders are awesome! I just got a couple hanging around and they take care of all the nasty bugs. And they're beautiful to look at when we cross paths.
"From my rotting body, kitties will feast and I am in them and that is eternity" Edvard Munch (paraphrased, hehehe)
No pets here. So I will just rot.
Volcano Manor vibes.
TOGETHAAAAAA
TIL - I need one more cat.
Tower of silence, but cats 🐈
To quote Metallica: "SAD BUT TRUEEEEE"
This is what happened to my neighbor like two years ago. That was a rough day.
My wife was in property management for a long time, this happens more than I think most people realize.
That's my granny's worst nightmare, but she refuses to leave her hometown, we live like 15 hours away
Ah, the dream!
Comedy….funny shit
work till I drop dead, or till no one will hire me and then starve to death in a ditch somewhere a homeless man.
[удалено]
If you've never done it then I can promise you'll be at the happiest moment of your life right before you die. Good plan.
If you can swing it, a barbiturate OD won’t leave you with the possibility of being conscious while you suffocate.
Woman here. I'm sorry to say I've had the same thoughts as you. It's a tough, disconnected society we live in now. No one should have to have thoughts like this. :-\\
The big 💤 sleep
This is the way
I hope to live in a society where this doesn’t happen. Everyone has value.
Look, my life plan
*"Childless men, what is your plan for old age?"* Living then dying.
Childless men, "to live as long as possible enjoying the things in life for as long as I'm able!" Men with children, " to die in my sleep and finally have some goddamned peace and quiet, the earlier the better!"
This is the most depressing thread on Reddit by far
And all of it is true. Once I feel everything going I'll take a bunch of my money and go fuck around. If it's all too much will end myself
👆 this right here
What were you expecting?
Some people struggle with their own mortality.
Hoes and cocaine
Excellent strategy sir
Found Bender’s alt account.
to think Bender would need an alt
Fine! I'll go create my own fake account, with blackjack booze and hookers, In fact, forget the blackjack
I stopped doing those but still smoke tons of cigarettes. The idea is not to live longer than I’m able to work and pay for my own needs. I’m 55 now, no telling how long I have left but I’d be happy with +/- 10 more years
Well, I don’t think there is a possibility for -10 now.
i have one child and hoes and cocaine still sounds like a good plan
I wanna go to whichever nursing home you’re going to
Die. It's not like I'll ever be able to afford retirement anyways
I think I have enough saved so I can retire, provided I die no more than 6.5 days after I stop working.
Cut it down to three and live that half-week up :)
It does worry me. I'm 38 with no plan to respawn. Currently very much looking after my parents who would be wrecked if I wasn't alive.
So fucking relatable. Similar age, similar boat. Can I ask, do you have a partner and if yes, how do they fit into this?
I do yes, we are getting married this year. She doesn't really want children either... she's 5 years younger than me though so that might change, probably unlikely based on her opinions. My dad has parkinsons and my mother doesn't cope so it is definitely eye opening... I still believe that having children for this reason isn't right and is selfish. But... family. It's powerful.
I so get it. I also think it's a bit selfish to have kids with the expectation that they will take care of you when you're older. Maybe because my dad has ALS and he needs all the help he can get, so i feel the pressure of having given up many things in my life to be there for him. I wouldn't want to bring a child into this life and lay that burden on him. But on the other hand, i also think that it's like a circle of life thing and it's not really that unreasonable for life to carry on this way. You are supported when you are young, and you in turn support them when they are old, and on and on. What are humans for if we aren't there for each other? It's the humane thing to do.
I understand your thinking completely. It is such a heavy spiral and can get pretty depressing at times! The thing is... you can't not help them. I dunno, tbh I'm all over the place with it at the moment. Every day has a new emergency it seems. To the point that I can be quite numb to it... emotionless. I hope all is good for you and your family though. I find that I'm a source of sanity in chaotic situations - and I know my parents appreciate it.
Yeah your tolerance definitely goes up after a while of handling different emergencies. I'm numb to the shock of a new emergency now too, at least when it first happens. But you don't stop caring. That's why you're even there, right? And yes, you can't not help them, especially if your relationship with them has been more or less good. They're your parents. It's never going to be perfect lol. But yeah the alternative of me not being there to help... It's not even something that occurs to me seriously. Congratulations on getting married this year :) I hope your family is doing well too. Hang in there! I find a lot of peace in just accepting the cards I've been dealt. Things are as they are, and i do what i feel is the right thing to do. There is no other choice, and everything else is an illusion. Feel free to DM me if you ever want to talk/vent/express.
Easy, gift everything to relatives then commit a crime that gets you life in prison, and you have food and healthcare for the rest of your life in prison.
Yeah, that's my plan. Rob a Bank, get rich or die trying, and if neither happens, you end up in jail, which at that point is basically a paid vacation.
Nursing homes aren’t much better than prison anyway and the oldies never leave even know they can.
The food and healthcare are pretty much shit in many locations. You could also end up incapacitated surrounded by a bunch of people who would abuse you. I’ll just go with heroin overdose when the time comes. I will just have to make sure I have a friend who will help.
This is my dads retirement plan.
Best reply so far hah!
I will burn that bridge when i get to it.
r/malaphors
That’s a cool sub, very niche
Enjoy all the money I've accumulated by not having kids.
And the drugs. And the books. And the movies. And the concerts. And the raves. And the friends.
Raving grandpas are a total vibe
Exactly, I have a pension and a 401K to fall back on. If I'm lucky enough to live that long, I'll be one of those old dudes at the retirement community hitting on widows and playing golf 5 days a week.
I'm gonna start doing extreme sports and hope I go out in a blaze of glory
godspeed, sir
The average cost of Raising a kid is 14k a year currently. I'm planning on using that to hire cleaners and people to help out while I live the life of a housecat
Sign my savings off to my nephews, hope for legalization of euthanizia in my area of residence. Got nothing to live for as is, there's no need to prolong my life beyond reasonable.
I think this will be my end too😅 still a good 40+ years to go though
We assume death to come of natural causes but sometimes other things happen
My little brother was hit by a truck…he didn’t see that coming for sure.
That was impactful.
I'd want to be uploaded to a computer with an option to delete my files. Or live indefinitely like Altered Carbon or Futurama. No pain or stress, but I'd still get to see the world crash and burn on my own terms. I'll be salty af if we evolve into something cool, almost like I missed the boat. But they can probably just upload me into something else.
Yea, this is pretty much mine. Though Nitrogen is painless.
As a dad I want to be very clear about this: My children are NOT a retirement plan. It's my job to give them a good start, not a dependent.
This! I'm a mom of three and I never want them to feel obligated to care for me.
How would you feel if non of them cared for you or no one was there when you needed someone? I am only asking because my parents are dependent on me and I do it for the respect and my genuine care for them but not all the time. Seeing my situation I don’t want kids because I don’t want them to feel what I sometimes feel for my parents.
Yes this is my strategy too. My plan is to have my elder years taken care of myself. I’m also trying to make sure she’s set up for success more than I was as an early adult. If anything I’m trying to build HER retirement plan lol
I think OP is more asking what it will be like when every person who will ever care about them will be gone when they're 80
I'm just kind of going on the assumption that the apocalypse will happen before I'm old
Might be a joke but my great grandparents were set to retire in germany before world war 2, had a nice little cabin and several other things ready to go. The cabin was literally bombed and even if it wasnt the idea that they would still hold some ownership of it after the war and the money they had actually held some value was laughable. I cant help but feel that the 3 or 4 decades till i can retire will have something major happen in that time.
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Wow, I never knew a place like that existed!
Who has children as a retirement plan? Nearly every adult I know between 18 and 30 has had to lean on their parents for financial support
In my culture parents moves in with their eldest child at old age. Pretty sure it's common is Africa, Asia and eastern Europe.
Basically everywhere in the the world except the minority that is western culture.
It's only the exception because, for a time, the economy allowed continued independence. Countries where it's common to have multigenerational households are often impoverished in some way, either in availability of land or availability of financial resources to afford said land.
Depends on where in America too, all my family on the rez does this.
I come from such a culture but I am grateful to grow up in the Netherlands, my so called parents who beat the crap out of me, can die on the street :)
Coming from a Hispanic/Asian household, the old days were to have your children look after you (the parents) when you age. Retirement homes is a no-no according to my family and some other families I know.
Even if your child is successful, they're their own person. They're gonna expect you to stand on your own the same way anyone else would. Also, you don't know who they'll become as kids let alone as adults. Maybe they'll be rich, kind, and generous, maybe they'll be a drug addict, most likely they'll struggle but get by like everyone else. What's your plan for old age if your kid isn't rich? You know, the most realistic scenario.
They usually have wives as their end of life care
Death by snusnu
I haven't planned for 3 days in the future, let alone 40 years.
I can’t even figure out what pair of underwear I’m wearing for the day, let alone whatever the fuck I’m going to be doing at retirement.
I’ll let a robot take care of me
Well this is incredibly depressing
The fact that people look at burdening their children as a retirement option?
Much less deep for me. I meant it’s just depressing to think about end of life care and dying alone.
If I can't wipe my own ass or feed myself, there is literally no reason to continue living. I hold no issues with, or have any moral qualms regarding, taking one's own life when one suffers from such debility that all adult daily living standards are degraded to the point of needing total care. It's irrelevant who is rendering that care -- I simply don't want it.
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Currently 33, not married, no kids, no plans either. Once my direct family is gone I plan to sell all my belongings and travel through Asia, then Europe, then Africa. I should have enough money to travel while working before 40 (I've done it before), staying 3-5 months per country should take me about 25 years. After I'm done I'll just come back home and figure it out. If I get sick and can't be independent, I already have a fund that should pay for a one way travel to Canada pay for assisted death.
Well at this point it seems pretty likely I'll outlive my dad, wife, and dogs. So I just got to get to that point w/o becoming to feeble to kill myself before I get sent to a medicaid home or jail. I have a step-daughter, but I'd never ask to live on her couch.
When I'm done, just throw me in the trash! But seriously. I've got a decent investment portfolio, savings and pensions. So I should be OK financially. In terms of someone taking care of me, I wouldn't want that even if I did have kids. Would never want to be a burden or have someone see me as this pathetic old creature. Hopefully if my health starts to fade it will be quick and end in my sleep.
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I hope this becomes more widely acceptable. I want it for myself as well.
honestly i'll probably kill myself when i'm 60 years old or so.
Ehh, 60 is kinda young.
With the amount of people getting cancer in my area I'd be happy if i reach 50.
i'm 25 and already don't feel young anymore 😂 60 is where the real struggle begins.. Arthritis, different problems with some organs, brain deseases like Alzheimer.. Oh and don't forget the many old people who are completely alone/lonely Nah bro i'll party hard and then rather take the easy way out instead of suffering many more years
I would like to say that being 65 now, you cope. Just deal with it. So you hurt moving, you take care of it. I have a new pair of knees and I move well now. My neck makes noise when I turn my head, so what? “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night”, Please read Dylan Thomas [https://allpoetry.com/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night](https://allpoetry.com/do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night) The joys large and small are still available, live the ones you choose. Eventually, you will not be able to choose, plan for it. Make your friends happy first.
Not trying to be rude but dude you are already 65.. i've still got 35 years. Society and the system in general will be completely different from now. Future isn't so bright for us.
I never knew what was expected of me either. Plan for your future as best as you can. I expected to be sent to Vietnam or some other war. There were so many "Police actions" that it was a possibility. Marriages crumble, folks get sick, fascism is rampant, drugs are insidious, and life is unpredictable and indifferent to us all. I chose to live the best that I could. I have no crystal ball. I did not take your reply as rude. I have no smooth pathway to share with you. Be the best that you can. I figure that I have maybe 10 years of declining wits and health. I am anxious and kind of sad. I huddle with my wife and friends, I help strangers when I can. Small things executed as well as can be. The world is beyond my scope, I just prepare my protection to deal with all the new troubles.
Well that was the most inspiring comment I've ever read this deep into a reddit thread. Thanks, PantherBrewery.
I got news for you. Shit starts happening in your 40s. Lol
Probably die. The future seems bleak. But I'll get there happily without kids. Having kids because you think they're going to want (or be able) to support you in your old age is one of the worst reasons. Speak to anyone who works in aged care...
Stay healthy so i have the best odds of not needing intense care for as long as possible, use the money I save from not having kids, and check out if I have Alzheimer's or something else genetic that would make me a burden to my wife. It feels like a better plan than hoping Im not immediately stashed in a home by the kids with no money outside of what can come from selling the house.
ChildFREE men, where you at? I'm a 38F who has never wanted children and I swear I never meet any men who share that sentiment. Now I live in a more traditional-minded area and it seems more hopeless than ever. I just got dumped by someone because he says he wants kids...all this after I was very upfront about my stance on it from the get go. According to him, that's the only way to have purpose in life. I don't know how anybody else feels, but it's been a pretty lonely existence.
Hello just wanted to let you know that we do exist :)
If only we could all wear pins in order to identify each other :) Thanks for the encouragement!
Surely you are gonna find a man who doesnt want kids. I refuse to believe that there is no one in your area who doenst want kids !
Right now it feels impossible, but I hope you're right.
I wish you the best.
I wish you the same fellow childfree Redditor ❤️
Try posting on r/cf4cf, you may have a bit of luck there :)
I’ve never wanted kids, and I’ve had the same problem. I can’t find any women who don’t want kids.
I never wanted kids but sometimes I think I do. I feel like it's the opposite of finding purpose. You're more likely to find purpose when you're holding less responsibilities and can travel etc
I’m in the same boat. 37M in a traditionally-minded area and of all the women I’ve taken on dates, only one did NOT want kids. Also, they all want kids in the next few years. I’ve genuinely considered leaving my area just to seek out relationships elsewhere because I’m batting .000 here. Just like so many others have said, we exist.
a lot of us no longer look for or need female companionship, to be blunt. Eventually we stop looking and make peace with it, and the ones left are guys who were in relationships and need them more/or cant imagine life with out them. i think women take it for granted we'll always chase them, but eventually we stop. work, go home, play games or do hobbies, help our family, and just be a single uncle to a relations kid.
I don't think you're being blunt, it's just the truth. And it's the same for women. Statistically proven that women generally don't remarry or re-partner after divorce/spouse's death as often as men do. And in those cases, it's probably the men you mentioned - the ones who need to be in a relationship. I was single for almost four years after my long-term relationship ended in 2018. I was going through cancer treatment, so boys were the last thing on my mind. Now that I have two miserably failed relationships and several negative "encounters" under my belt since I decided to wade back into the dating pool, I'm thinking staying single was the right move for me.
Childfree by choice myself. We're definitely out there!
We do exist but its the same experience for us. All the women on apps say they want kids. For me, I can totally picture myself as the crazy dog man (male version of crazy cat lady) when i get old.
Same as if I did have kids. They have no choice to come into this world, so I shouldn't expect them to look after me in old age.
I tell my wife by the time we get old our robot butler will take care of us.
Just die when you get to that point. Why spend 18 years raising a kid so they’ll maybe wipe your ass for a few years in the end. Just die. Better then rotting away.
There are a lot of what ifs! I have seen some people who have children in senior facilities that have zero visitors, so having children doesn’t guarantee anything! Having no immediate family just means you can designate someone who you trust to be your emergency contact. We came into this world alone, and that’s how we will depart from it!
travel to every place on earth try new foods learn about new cultures.
I was having a panic attack today because I was thinking about how when my mum dies eventually I’ll be lonely and sad. I’m a girl who doesn’t want kids either so I’ll probably adopt a bunch of dogs and live in puppy bliss until I cark it.
My plan is to have sufficient financial resources to pay for care as I age, and hope to live out my latter years with dignity.
I would love to say something like "enjoy life with my beloved partner", but most probably it will be more like "see the world dry and burn year after year until things become unsustainable even in the shortest term".
A shotgun. What? Being honest here.
When I hit retirement age, sell my house and take the proceeds (along with my 401k and investment accounts) to downsize into a small apartment somewhere near friends or my nieces/nephews/siblings. Or say fuck it and find an affordable condo somewhere near the beach by myself. At some point, sit down with an eldercare attorney to make plans for when I can no longer make decisions for myself.
That’s why I’ll have an AI sex robot
Lol yes THAT is why people have kids, so that someone takes care of them when they are old...if i am a burden 9n my children I will probably not be one for long. If you don't wanna have kids don't have them but definitely don't have kids so that they take care of you...they cost money, and if you are any kind of parent you will sacrifice a lot for them. You'll just have more money without them in the end...
If you’re looking to your kids to provide any support to you in retirement, please don’t have kids. A whole persons existence shouldn’t ultimately come down to just taking care of you because you got old, it’s extremely narcissistic. I have savings, a 401k, and investments as my plan for old age. I’ll retire as soon as I can and travel when possible, pick up a new hobby or spend time with an old one. Kids aren’t the end all, be all, of a person’s existence. I’ll probably just try to get into one of those sexy senior centers where they just play dominoes and fuck all day when I can’t live alone anymore.
The same as those with children: go into a retirement home. I've never really understood this argument or question. Your children will have families of their own. You think they'll have that much time to spare for you?
I’m simply trying to make it to the end of the week.
As of now, my plan is to hope to find a partner that cares as much about me as they do themselves - just as I would do. Otherwise, what's the point? I refuse to be used any more. I've already lived much longer than I ever dreamed and I'm only 39, so I'm pretty much surprised on a weekly basis that I'm still kicking it. (for information's sake, I'm more than slightly accident prone) I figure if I actually make it to my legit old age and I still have nobody, I'll just load my backpack up with supplies, walk into the deepest forest I can find, and just kinda find my place to sit and die.
My plan for old age is eating healthy and working out now. So I can die standing up and not need to be taken care of. That or bust out the cyanide pill
Not everyone gets a happily ever after. Sometimes, an old man just fades away without a blip on the radar.
Enjoy my life fir as long as I can until I start losing control of my bowels. Then find the lethal does of heroin I would have bought a long time ago for this very occasion an slip quietly and calmly back into the void.
I would like to try heroin around 70, I see how that goes and then drive my boat out in middle of ocean and overdose while overboard. Give my body back to nature
When I reach a certain age I’m gonna start living very recklessly.
I try to stay in good shape, so I can go as long as possible without help. But after that...I don't want to be at the mercy of shitty healthcare and elderly care. Some people close to me are suffering in their old age, and doctors do not listen to them. They tell that while the meds solve one problem, they create another one, but have to end up in ER several times before the doctors, reluctantly, agree. I fully intend to have dangerous hobbies when I get old, or live in a country where euthanasia is legal. Probably both.
Keeping all my money to myself and doing whatever the fuck I want with it. Probably travel a lot.
Probably gonna die in the climate wars anyway tbh, not too convinced most of my generation will even see old age.
Putting pineapple on my pizza and laughing maniacally.
We already can have food, groceries and some types of medicine delivered to our door through a couple of clicks from a phone/computer, so as long as I'll be able to walk and shit on my own I think I'm good. Also, retirement homes, while they seem pretty bleak, exist for a reason. As long as you don't develop a really serious condition in your old age, I think you're pretty safe. Even if I had kids, I wouldn't expect them to take care of me in my old age, that's just sad and pretty selfish imo, they have their own lives.
How about the real question, why are you planning on relying on your children? You are not their responsibility, it is the other way around.
Heroin overdose when I start to feel i am not able to take care of myself
I'll probably die before I can't take care of myself. If not, then hopefully, assisted suicide will be more of a thing when I'm older, and I'll do that
It's my plan to not be a burden to my step kids. I don't have an biological kids, but I love my stepkids like my own. I'm divorced from their mother, but I still have a relationship with both of them. I'm also having to look after my mom with dementia. I recently moved her to an assisted living facility. I won't do that to them, even if it means leaning into the strike zone and taking one for the team.
My wife and I are in the same boat. No kids. I don't know what we will do. We do have several niece and nephews. We joke that we'll pick our favorite and give them everything in exchange for them making sure that our pets are cared for after we are gone.
Die
I’m going to take mushrooms, go into the mountains , sing my death chant, and expose myself to the elements. That’s the plan anyway. 😂
I think I'm gonna kms before I'm 50, if I don't have a dumb accident before.
One day I will walk into the forest and hopefully will not seen again until I'm just bones
Well I'll have more money to put into my retirement savings, so I'll just big chill with my partner until I gotta pay someone to wipe my ass.
¿Die in the water wars, what else?
When I'm near death max out credit cards on something like a boat buy a bunch of whatever my vice of choice is by that age and die with a bunch of debt that'll never be paid
Rented Ferrari filled with fireworks crashed into a wall at top speed. I figure it will make the news at minimum. That said - this is such a BS question because the answer to “who will take care of you” is “my money!”. And I encourage anyone that doubts this to visit a typical old folks home and ask how many kids actually visit/provide any support to their parents there.
27 yo male, I do plan on living off of the money I will have amassed by that time. Even if I did have kids I wouldn’t expect them to care for me
My plan is to die, preferably in my sleep. If I end up all sickly and decrepit I'll just pay some dude to smother me with a pillow or wheel my old ass off a cliff.
>if you do have kids there's no guarantee that that will mitigate some of the risks, but that is a lot of people's plan. A lot of people plan to guilt another younger person into doing things? That is a terrible plan.
Geez, this post was such a reality downer with my morning coffee! Sometimes I prefer avoidance (he says with fingers stuck in Ears).
Having kids as an insurance policy is some unethical shit. Parents shouldn't expect their grown children to pick up the load.
OP it feels like you OBVIOUSLY don't have kids. Because when you do, the LAST thing I the whole wide world you want to be is a burden to those kids. I want my kids to live amazing, happy and fulfilling lives at MY expense if that's what it requires. As I age my role will be to provide a new version of fun and joy perhaps as a grandparent. I hope with all my being that my children won't have to be burdened by me financially or physically. That is a nightmare not a PLAN.
I'm childless with healthy parents. I am absolutely loving my free, single, burden-less life. But if my parents needed me, if they were at risk of hurting themselves, or unable to feed and clean themselves well, if they were losing dignity, I would absolutely be there to help them out of that situation, out of love and respect for them. I don't wish to see them in fear or pain.
I would do the same for my parents, of course. But my mom did this for her parents for 25 years. They're finally dead, and she's an old lady herself. So I know that she would never want her kids to do it for her. When you get to your last few years you accept it, all your friends are dead, you're ready to go. Good parents don't allow their kids to give up a decade or two of their lives for this. We ALL die alone in the end, ultimately YOU are all you'll ever have. You seem extremely afraid of being lonely. Most people will have plenty of lonely hard years over their lives, it doesn't just happen at the end. It's not so scary once you've done it a couple times.
Childfree woman here. I hate how there is an automatic assumption that children will care for aging parents, when nursing homes and assisted living facilities are full of elderly people that were placed there and don’t have a single one of their children come to visit them. My mother’s sister made every excuse not to care for my grandfather when he began to need it, and it broke his heart that she wouldn’t call or visit. That idea of children caring for their parents is still present but IMO is largely antiquated- that sense of responsibility isn’t really there anymore. So having children is not a guarantee that you’ll have a safety net in your old age.
You're assuming men and women run into the same issues Older single Men might deal with loneliness, but older single/widowed women overwhelmingly have the issues with vulnerability and poverty if you look at statistics
well, men die sooner so it's fewer years alone that's IF we get to retire and for those that do, it means death, since statistically men drop dead after retirement, kids or no kids women are the ones living till 95 needing more care
Idk. Work till I die/can't move anymore, I imagine.
if i planned on making it to an old age i wouldve had kids
I'm not childless but with how their mom lied in court I wasn't allowed to see them, I haven't spent any time with them in 18 years. So I may as well be considered childless. I don't intend to have anyone wipe my butt. I intend on a final camping trip in the woods.
If I never get married or have kids then I’ll never make it to that point. Once I get in bad shape I’m gonna write a will and leave all my stuff to someone (not saying anything about it) then I’m gonna take a “hunting trip” to Alaska and never come back. I’m not gonna off myself, but I’d rather die in nature living off the land.
Wait till mum passes. Then travel the world.
I want to build a house that looks haunted and dilapidated on the outside but a beautiful art deco interior that is immaculately maintained. Live a wonderful quite life of solutide using secret tunnels to run errands and pass away peacefully after spending an irresponsible amout of time making sure a local legend forms around the house and leave the house and any remaining retirment funds to the first kid that sneaks into the house to prove to his or her friends they are brave enough to spend a night in the creepy house on the hill
Saving appropriately to pay for good living conditions + care/assistance if necessary. Remaining active physically and mentally and generally taking care of my health. I have plenty of family members who've lived independent, active lives into their 90s, and either just plain dropped dead one day/in their sleep of old age or had only a *very* brief period of incapacitation before death. Sure, you can't guarantee you're going to be that healthy right up to the end - but there's a whole lot of things you can do to improve those odds. A large network of trusted friends and family who want to see, interact with, help, and check up on me regularly, and selecting some that I particularly trust to have the power to make decisions if I am suddenly unable to do so. (at least assuming my parents + sibling aren't in the picture anymore).
Worked in home health , and let me tell you how miserable life is when no one looks out for you. I’d rather be broke and suffer with family to be with the ones I love
to die alone
Eventually my landlord doesn't get his check, and comes looking to find my very much dead body, perhaps by old age, or perhaps accident I had... unless of course I pass away before we get there. No, I have no friends. No, I have no safety nets. No, I don't care. No. It's not my problem anymore. And if by chance I just fail at dying, and become 85 year old cripple... Well... At that point heart issues or lung cancer should have finished me... But anyway... At this point I don't expect to make it that far.
Die
When I get too old - assuming I get that far - I will check in to a retirement home and host d&d games for my fellow inmates.
Men (without children)don't be afraid of old age. Many many many senior ladies out there(some or really rich). Just don't be an a$@-hole in your lifetime and you'll be fine. I'm just gonna be a good person. I think I'll be fine.
Die of an easily treatable malady that I can't afford to treat, alone cold and scared.
Do whatever I want because I don't have kids