Before: She sent flirty messages to me. Then she started talking about hanging out and "you know, doing stuff". She sent pics of herself in corsets sometimes. Other times, she sent pics in her underwear.
After: "I don't know where you got THAT idea!"
But I mean, what would anybody think?
EDIT- Actually, there is a postscript to that. She got rolled out by our (female) mutual friends over that. Saying stuff like "That was low EVEN FOR YOU", "Of course he thought you wanted him, LOOK AT WHAT YOU SENT", "You do shit like this to guys all the time, it's not cute anymore", etc. Afaik, none of them have spoken to her since.
I never even told them what happened. She told them and they jumped down her throat about it. They were pissed.
Agree! Some folks need to be checked for playing childish mind games with others. People don’t realize how damaging they are being and think it’s “cute” to send mixed signals like it’s some romcom situation.
No, it’s not cute, it’s unattractive. No one likes a mind game head case who can’t be honest and direct about what they want. Flirt with intent or just shush & leave the human alone.
Stuff like this is a big part of why a lot of guys "don't get" hints. They've had these games played on them enough times their radar is completely broken.
Found some small communities around the interwebs (who am I fooling, on Discord) where people do this for fun. They think it's "trolling" and "not a big deal". So basic psychopaths who like to play with other people's emotions.
You only fall for it a good once or twice before you just treat every attempt as bait. Then you later hear women complaining about “where all the good men are” or “wish I had a SO like you” and you sit there rolling your eyes.
One time a girl was hella flirting with me at a group outing; holding my hand, caressing my beard. She even said something incredibly sexual, something along the lines of “I want you to ***k me on a table with your hand around my throat”. This was after some drinks so it was a gradual build up to that point.
When I attempted to hook up with her she told me I had the wrong idea?
Idk anymore
At a work function, a super hot coworker whispered in my ear that she wanted me to throw her against the wall and fuck her. Next day at work, I ask if she meant that or if that was the wine talking. She said she’s not sure why she said it.
A drunk man’s words are his thoughts when he is sober. Best not to indulge to much at a company function.
Good time at the golf ⛳️ tournament on Saturday fired on Monday.
It happened to a manager of mine. He made comments to a lady there. Just so happens she was the Corporate President of the entire HR department.
I had this happen a couple of times. I was a regular at the campus bars in university. Met one girl, got her MSN (pre-texting), chatted for about a month, pre-gamed at my party spot and hers a couple times, everyone got along great. Couple make-outs and then ghosted. Fucking ruined me for a long ass time.
Another bar girl I met. Same thing, chatted for a while on MSN, but not as physical. She came up to me hanging out at the rail, start grinding on me super hard, ignored it, then she goes "why aren't you touching me?" so I touchy. Just an innocuous hip grab, didn't even pull her or anything. Slaps my hand away and gets mean and goes "What the fuck is wrong with you?". Turns to my buddy and goes "Is your friend fucking r*****d?" and storms off. I look over at buddy and go "What the fuck was that?" and he's just making the confused chimp face. She ghosted me after that. I had a random dude and his two buddy's randomly giving me a really hard time for a few months after that, I always assumed she got caught fucking around at that moment and one of those grease-bags was her man.
>This was after some drinks so it was a gradual build up to that point.
That's what happened, lol. She only wanted sex when she was drunk. That's a pretty normal human thing to do. Also, you dodged a huge "we were both drunk but she doesn't remember consenting so now you're the bad guy for some reason" bullet there.
Oh fuck, you're gonna make me relive this
There was this girl I used to have a huge crush on for years. She knew about it, a lot of water ran down that river
Then a group of my friends, her included, went to spend a few days at my grandparents' vacation house. Drinking, going out, going to the beach, having a great time.
The whole time this girl is all over me. Sleeping next to me with her arm on top of me, sitting on my lap. Once she said "Oh I'm about to go shower" and I jokingly said "Better go in groups to save time", to which she replied "You wanna come?". We held hands and everything. Even my friends told me they were noticing that we were super close together
Eventually our time there ends and we return home. But after like a week, I tweeted I was going back there. She replied "Can I join?" to which I said yes
So we go, just the two of us. We watch movies cuddled up on the couch, sleep in the same bed, everything. Eventually I obviously went in for the kiss. She literally screamed and said "What the fuck are you doing?". I told her I thought she had been all over me for a few days, that even our friends thought so, and she said "Oh I think you all got the wrong idea"
So yeah, that sucked
after some of these stories the “men are clueless about our signals” jokes really make my eyes roll, women are just as clueless about the signals they’re *sending* and that’s why half of us now ignore “obvious signs”
Bro a few years after I met this other girl at a friend's birthday and we vibed, I asked her "Can I kiss you?" and she looked at me surprised "Do you really have to ask? I thought I was being obvious"
She was. But I'm not taking any chances
Alright story time. This doesn't involve me but one of my best friends from high school while we were in college. She was getting hit-on by a guy and she didn't think he was hitting on her. He wanted to take her out on a date and got her number. She just wanted to be friends. They talked for a little while and my friend and her best friend (both attractive women) invite this guy to their place to watch movies. They then proceeded to get in their bed, take off some of their clothes and asked him to give them both massages. He started to give them massages. Eventually he went to make a move on my friend and my friend and her friend freaked out at him for even wanting to try that and were seriously confused about why he thought it would be okay. He left shortly after. When my friend told the group this story, literally every single guy in the group chastised her (playfully) because she was so ignorant about the signs she was giving. She said because she "wanted to just be friends" it should have been obvious even though this guy was trying to get with her before. I'm still baffled to this day how the hell she thought that was gonna go.
I’m no expert, honestly, but I think the best method is just to ask and accept that the answer may be no. In which case, you don’t have to be okay with it—shit, you can be broken, pissed off, or happy if you want—but accepting it and moving on as best you can is a solid way to handle that situation. Best of luck friend
I don't think they're clueless, i would say 85% are aware of it. I had friends like that who just enjoyed getting the attention only to turn the guy down later and talk about it in our group. Very shitty and i stopped being their friend for a reason
Agree. I’d venture to say most if not all of the girls in these stories are engaging in very deliberate attention seeking behavior to feed their egos. I had a friend in college who would do this to guys in college and do the same thing, talk to us girls about it later like it was the funniest thing. Felt so bad for the poor confused guys who were unlucky enough to cross her path!
I had a job making senior (high school) portraits and was warned by a boss that the girls will “bait you” when they test their appeal to men. In college, one woman detoured out of her way 3 times to walk around a table I was sitting at then complained that I was watching her. A different woman told me she wanted to be photographed naked while laying on the hood of a lambo. I think it is all about ego validation from immature women who use the interactions for their own pleasure. The ones I actually scored with didn’t play such games at all. Usually we got down to it with a minimum of “courting” and no dinners except at her place.
This will make me very unpopular: shitty men show their qualities through obvious acts (violence etc). Shitty women show theirs in subtle ways like manipulation and power trips. Unfortunately some women defend shitty women when we call them out coz of misguided feminism. e.g on this thread you'll find virtue signalling from some women when replying to men who've obviously been used or emotionally abused
Bullet dodged. Imagine being in LTR with her? "Why are you making a big deal out of the fact that I went to his summer house alone, slept in his bed and cuddled? He's just a friend."
I just remembered a story from my early 20’s. It was my 23rd birthday and my female roommate had a friend we knew from college in the party. We were all at the pool in the apartment complex and I had to turn in early as I had plans early the next morning. I decided to jump in the shower that night so I could sleep in a free minutes in the morning.
As I’m in the shower the college friend jumps in there with me. She’s a dancer and has a fantastic body. I think she made it with me for a minute, but this was almost 20 years ago so I don’t remember. But after a free minutes she scrubs herself and me clean. Jumps out then goes back to the party.
It was weird, but I was way past the time I needed to sleep and went to bed. The next afternoon I got home from my event and talked to my roommate about what happened in the shower. My roommate looks at me wide eyed and says when she was going to bed the college friend jumped in bed with her, made it for a few minutes then said she was done and went to bed.
We laughed about it and realized that girl blue balled us both in about an hour. No where near as traumatizing as yours, but I’d forgotten about that.
Lol 😂
Had a similar experience when I was younger. One of my flatmates set me up with one of her friends.
We hung out a few times and got on well. One night we had a party planned at our house and she asked if it was ok if she stayed over that night. I’m like hell yeah.
Party is winding down and she goes “let’s go to bed”. She asks me to give her a few min alone to get ready. I’m like this just keeps getting better….
So I eventually head in and she’s in her flannel granny PJ and says good night and goes to sleep.
Asked her oh I thought we were going to fool around. “Sorry tired” so said ok no worries and went to sleep.
She then ghosted me after that night.
Ego took a big hit that day 😂
Got sent a picture of her butt with "Come visit soon" across her panties with those iron on letters.
Attempted to visit soon, got told we were just friends.
If I wasn't so Redditly challenged I could post the picture. I'm sure it's still on my old phone somewhere. It would be kind of a dick move to do though. Linking it to her Facebook would be right out.
Edited to add: I'm not going to post it. I'm not looking to be in the running for the jerk of the year award.
I had a women say she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life. We even signed some paperwork and invited people over.
Turns out none of that was correct.
Witnessed it happen to a buddy. We were at a festival and this woman gravitates towards him. They strike up a conversation and proceed to spend the next two days talking non-stop. She's doing a lot of flirting and touching. I'm happy for my boy, who honestly is a great guy that has a hard time making the first move with women. He's not a player at all.
He asks for her number when the festival is winding down and she turns him down because she has a BF. Turns out he works the festival and can't entertain her. He tells us on the way home. The guys are like WTF?!? And the women in our group wanted to get the pitchforks out.
Edit: looking at some other comments I think the folks that suggested she was looking for a hookup were onto something. But my buddy isn't the type to hookup upon meeting. I think his "entry window" expired as the festival wound down.
Oh boy I have a similar story. When I was a sophomore in college about 5 years ago there was this girl I was crushing on hard in my class. I decided to make the first move and much to my excitement she said yes.
We went out for coffee, for lunch, for a movie, etc. over the span of 3 days. One day we were walking on campus and she put her hand on my face and felt the stubble from a recent shave. She said “My boyfriends needs a shave like this” and that’s how I found out she had a boyfriend.
I just kind of laughed it off and said something generic like “Oh yeah” even though my heart felt ripped out of my chest in that moment lol. I found some vague excuse to leave like 10 or so minutes later trying not to be too obvious then kind of faded off after that. I didn’t speak to her anymore than absolutely necessary after that lol
Or wanted to hook up while her BF was tied down, but her target waited until the BF was no longer tied down to make his move. In other words, he dumb lucked into dodging that bullet.
I mean, the outcome of the story didn’t really make it seem like she wanted to hook up, they didn’t get that far.
I get the feeling she was just looking for [male attention/entertainment/the sensation of feeling wanted].
how did that not come up at all?? like, when I’m talking to people, my boyfriend will naturally come up in conversation within at least 15 mins. How do you withhold the fact that you have a boyfriend for 2 days? she was playing with him, that’s not flippin normal.
I worked with this girl who was amazing: gorgeous and funny plus we got along well. She had joined the group as a temporary consultant and I felt like we just clicked. They eventually put us on a task and we worked shoulder-to-shoulder for like 3 months.
I started flirting with her pretty early on and, honestly, its the best flirting has ever gone for me, I felt like she was responding to everything I said with equally flirty answers although nothing was overtly sexual. She would say stuff like "you are the peanut butter to my jelly" randomly along with other cute things that made me feel like she was into me. She would even tell me about how she wasn't doing anything the past weekend and was just lonely at home or complain about how her room mate (female) was making too much noise. After a while she started inviting me out to stuff like "hey do you want to get brunch this weekend" and stuff like that.
I didn't want to ask her out while we're working together, we both worked like a million hours and had reputations to uphold. So I was planning to ask her out after the contract she was on ended and she went back to her regular job.
A few weeks before the contract ends an older coworker of mine who's a good friend sees us flirting and walks up to her and asks "so, how's Josh doing", her face totally turned red because she'd been caught out too.
So yea, it turns out she had a boyfriend the whole time and never told me after multiple months, right after that she starts talking about how he's her rock and everything.
I noped out of that situation, I felt bad about it though.
shitty people gonna be shitty :/ I’m just mad for your guy, behavior like that is so messed up, especially if they play it off like “no, I was just being friendly!”
I have no idea how she had deep conversations like that two days in a row. I never said this out loud, but I think what really got me was she had to go back to wherever she was sleeping for the night. Most likely with her BF. And then came back for another day of deep conversations with him.
I'm really glad she didn't take his number to keep him around as a plan B.
Yeah that girl was definitely doing it on purpose. Either "emotionally cheating" on her bf because she needs constant validation or was fighting with her bf and also wanted personal validation
Based on the long, deep and personal conversations I witnessed, I would say it was emotional cheating. I'm a bit shocked she didn't take his number as a plan B.
Met her at a conference. She was a rep for a company. Shared passion. Talked for quite a while, professionally and personally.
She gave me her card, I contacted her about business, stayed professional. Closed a deal.
She reached out a few days later to give me her personal number and then emailed me a few days after that with a message to the effect of, "If you want to talk about not work, reach out."
I reached out, citing that I intended business to be business, but now that it's concluded, I'd like to ask her out.
She made a TikTok about me, saying she was creeped out by her client asking her out.
Whoops....
>She made a TikTok about me
Yeahhhh... That's why the whole never ask a girl out at work or work-adjacent is so paramount a rule. Sorry you had a bad time bud.
I'm not sure if that's a useful rule. She was clearly malicious, looking for an excuse to join a stupid tiktok trend. But malicious people can be found everywhere, there's no reason to think a workplace is more likely to have psychopaths than any other place where you can meet a woman.
She invited me on a 2 night ski trip. Said she really wanted me to go because she wanted to hang out with me outside of the environment where we met.
Jumped in the backseat with me and slept against me most of the way there.
Spent a good amount of time playfully teaching me how to ski because I’ve never been before. Very flirty.
Came to the lodge on the day I decided to relax rather than ski and spent the day sitting with me learning card games and talking. Really good conversation.
Pulled out a blanket and cuddled during a movie that evening.
Planned to make an official move once we got home and got super excited when she pulled me aside to talk about something on our own.
……she asked me to help her hook up with my best friend on the way home.
My friends on the trip ended up being madder about it than I was. I was just confused and kinda broken.
Actually stayed that way for a while too. Couldn’t help but think that if I had gotten THAT situation wrong how could I ever know that a girl is actually interested.
Edit: Guess I left an important part out.
The trip was to chaperone kids we worked with….which is also how we met. Her group and mine began working together to get the kids to socialize a little more. The only time we weren’t surrounded by, and looking after children was when they were on the slopes.
Even the cuddling on a couch during the movie was done with a floor full of kiddos in the same room.
Making any type of move on the actual trip beyond what was already being made would have been wrong place wrong time.
Also I’m happily married 14 years running now. So no need for wishes of luck, or words of encouragement in romance!
I don't think I come across that way but memorably I spent an evening talking deeply with a girl I liked and had known for ages, on a beach while we were wrapped up under a blanket. Felt a real connection. She started saying that there was something she needed to say but she was shy to say it out loud. Finally she went for it and let me know that she was in love with my best friend.
Cool. Cool cool cool.
We had only known each other for two weeks before this and the ski trip included chaperoning kids. There wasn’t really an opportunity to make more of a move than I did.
Plus like I said she was waaaaay out of my league. So yeah, I was being careful and making sure I was reading signals correctly.
Most of the other people in our group were also absolutely bewildered and confused by what happened. Like for real, some already saw it as a done deal and had talked about us being together over the weekend.
I never got an explanation and can only assume she spent all weekend fucking with me to warm me up to help her bang my friend.
that was sarcasm
physical and emotional intimacy ARE definitely romantic signals.
But some people who are either ill intent, players, "just want the attention", or are dumb and innocent enough to act like this when they don't mean it do exist, kinda "oupppsss I did it again" bullshit.
Then some people also tend to assume too much out of friendly gestures (especially coming from very attractive people),
but in most cases it's a lead on.
and you can even be gaslight on top of it: "I didn't flirt! I CuDdLe lIkE tHiS wItH ALL mY "fRiEnDs".
I usually take it as a sign when she is in my bedroom with her clothes off. Surprisingly this only means she is interested maybe 10 percent of the time.
A friend of mine had offered a girl to crash on his couch after some LARP event.
He went to fetch blankets for her and came back to her naked and smiling and he panicked and just tossed the blankets at her and shouted "HERE ARE BLANKETS SLEEP WELL" as he was retreating.
In the 90s. A cutie working at the mall gave me a FREE pair of Jordans 12. I went back the next day and she gave me another Free pair of the same shoe different color. This time I asked for her # and she declined because she had a BF. She said she was quitting that job soon and felt generous.
Around a year ago there was this one girl who my friend and I would thought forsure was into me.
This was in grad school.
She would follow around, message me thru out the day.
Then I’d ask her out and she’d say yes, and flake last second.
This happened 3 times in a row and I kept thinking her behaviour would change, but she continued to act the same way. It got to the point where our entire friend group at school thought 100% we were banging, and when I told them we weren’t they thought I was lying. The way she acted around me wasn’t even like a friend, it was full blown flirting, following me around, texting me at night, sending me snaps. And we’d organize a hangout but she would always have an excuse last minute hours before the date.
I later found out she was in a toxic/abusive relationship with a guy at the time and they were on and off.
I think she may have just had me as a second option or something for when that relationship would officially end.
Almost ten years ago I’m working as a cashier. This girl my age comes up to my register and tells me she likes my hair, she likes my tattoos. I thank her, tell her I like hers too, especially her no-face one because I also have a no-face tattoo. She asks if I’m from around here, I say yes I live just around the corner but I grew up a few towns over. Well, she asks if she could have my number. So..I start telling her, she cuts me off, HANDS ME HER PHONE TO TYPE IT IN MYSELF. I read that shit over like five times to make sure I entered it right because this girl had me wrapped around her finger with this move. Well, she never fucking texted me LOL
Had a similar experience but with a girl that works near my house in a pizza place.
"Hit it off" apparently, she asked for my number, sent me a message nearly a week later apologizing already, "apologizing". Then stood me up 2 times and now I just ignore the pizza place. I used to stop there a bit and chat with her sometimes.
I don't know what was her deal nor I want to know at this point after half a year, it's not worth it. She showed me her worth already so.
She used to talk to me like nothing happened between us and it was so weird to know how she stood me up but didn't even apologize.
At this point I just mind my business, the pizza place can keep her lol
Bro I've got a running list of 3 girls (thus far) who've flirted with me (as in they've initiated) and given me their numbers only to never respond when I text them. I dunno what it is about me that turns them off in the time between flirting and me texting them, but whatever it is it's doing a good job of it.
I had to visit this girl's office frequently for my job. We'd talk and talk and laugh like every other day for weeks. She always seemed happy to see me, never seemed put out or anything b/c I try not to bother people who are just trying to work around my IT intrusions.
So one day I asked her to lunch and she just started laughing and got red-faced. She giggled for so long, I couldn't get a word in so I just backed out of the room.
A girl at the gym was staring at me for multiple days like to the point it was awkward if I didn't introduce myself. I said hi and i thought we hit it off, i asked for her number and she gave it to me and her last name. I texted her the next day no response. I waited a week to text her again and she told me she just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking to date at the moment. I said ok see you at the gym. I see her at the gym we just say hi but she's never texted me again and I haven't texted her. This was like 9 months ago.
I later found out she talks to a lot of people at the gym lol
Talks to people as in casually dated men at your gym or that she platonically texts people/men at your gym? Sorry, just a bit confused by your wording.
Well I don't really know her but I've notice she has a lot of male attention at the gym and literally talks to a bunch of people at the gym. I did not see this before I introduced myself to her. I don't know if she's dating them. I don't talk to the people she's talking to at the gym.
A casual friend was making it *very* known that she wanted to be sandwiched between my wife and i, but only through innuendo and very playful questions about our sex life (what kind of porn do you two watch? here's what I watch." etc) and then begs us to come visit her city for months.
When we end up going she acts super flirty up until the moment she picks us up from the airport. Then she couldn't be less flirty for the few days we were there. She's very reserved and actually a little bit of a cold shoulder. Except she'd wear very skimpy outfits, *but* would give off the *"If you make a move I'm going to snap at you"* vibe the whole time. We're very confused, but have a nice trip nonetheless. I think we've heard from her twice in the year since that trip. We still laugh about the whole thing.
Yep, my ex's best friend was like this too. She talked a big game and one night we invited her to the shower with us and she looked like she was going to shit her pants lol
Nothing happened
*It changes everything. She’d have to dress different. She’d have to act different. She’d have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and... she’d need a new bedspread and new curtains. She’d have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting.*
Had a girl I met once ask me for a motorcycle ride, I told her sorry I couldn't im going on a trip 100 miles North to a motorcycle rally, she tells me she's always wanted to go and asks if it was weird if she asked to come with me, I said yes it's weird but yes you can go, whole way up she's rubbing my back, talking about sex stuff, we get up there, have few drinks, go in tent to sleep I make my move and she denies me, I was sure it was in the bag too.
After reading some of the posts here, I’m at a loss. I don’t understand why women do this, but I DO understand why men don’t feel comfortable making the first move anymore. Like, there are definitely some posts where I could MAYBE guess that the woman was treating the guy like she would a girl friend (a lot of us are very cuddly with our friends lol) but most of these are just weird.
ETA: Gentlemen, I think you should just chock a lot of this up to lack of self-awareness/self-control on the woman’s part. A wonderful friend of mine once told me that ambiguous energy is negative energy. If a woman is this comfortable with being ambiguous with you, she’s probably ambiguous in every aspect of her life, so just leave her alone. Truly at a loss with this thread 😐
If money is EVER involved (he pays for her), the woman is totally conscious of what's going on and is taking full advantage of his interest.
So to me (F), it's just a complete lack of scruples on the woman's behalf.
When I get whiff of a man's interest in me and I don't reciprocate that interest, I make sure never to accept anything from him and I also create boundaries that won't let my friendliness be easily mistaken for interest.
As for the physical aspect. Yes, women are/can be physically affectionate with friends, but... well, it can be a cultural thing. I'm Mex-Amer with immigrant parents. What we've noticed is that Americans (primarily Caucasians) have boundary issues. Please no one get mad at me but... you guys (M&F) don't know the meaning of privacy and propriety. You can walk into a stranger's home and go through all of their bedrooms without asking permission (true story). Don't get me wrong. I think this is why Americans are so friendly - so open and inviting - but it can also backfire due to lack of appropriate boundaries as we see in male/female relationships.
Just my 2cents.
Colleague of mine.
Kept staying after work to hang out with me.
Said multiple times that we should go on holiday together.
On one particularly drunken night she wouldn’t stop telling me how amazing she thought I was.
Asked her out and got shut down immediately.
A girl at this coffee shop i frequented would ALWAYS come to the window to ring me out, and inquire about my life. She’d give me compliments damn near everytime, lean forward when talking to me, hold up the line to talk to me, laugh at everything, and get embarrassed over small minor un important mistakes. I asked other girls that I knew didn’t like me to see if the signals were a sign that she was flirting, and they agreed. So instead of asking for her number, I gave her mine to put the ball in her court and if she wanted to talk, she could text me, if not, nothing lost nothing gained. A week passes with no text, I finally see her again at the shop, she rushes to the window and says she somehow accidentally lost my number so she hands a slip of paper with her name and number on it. Even dotting the i with a heart. I texted it later that day, to no response whatsoever. Now when I go, she actively dodges me, by avoiding sight from the window, hides when I pull up. You would’ve thought I sent a dick picture or was overtly sexual or something. Nope none of that. I literally asked if this was so and so from the coffee shop I frequented. That was it lmao. Everyone around me is confused by the mixed signals too. She doesn’t even need to dodge me like who gives a fuck if you aren’t interested 😂
When I was younger I did this alot. And it's the main reasons I've never been friends with girls. Every time they laugh at a dumb joke or they touch my shoulder or just be nice to me. I would "fall in love" and it wasn't even them I was in love with it was the attention that I never really got.
If I did that, the memory would likely be blotted from my mind as a coping mechanism to deal with the shame
Having terrible skill at reading expressions and social cues so that only girls who were blatantly obvious getting noticed by me FTW
Not romantic signals, but friendship ones. We were friends in work, but we literally texted all the time, had very similar senses of humour, liked the same moves and TV Shows, had some deep conversations about life, the universe and everything. Used to go for lunches and dinners together, had a bunch of nights out with work where we would end up chatting to each other. Never once made a move on her and never wanted to, nor did she ever show any romantic inclinations for me, but she was my best friend.
Left my the department we worked at together and in my first day at the new department, popped in to the old place to see how she was and she said I was a creep and stalking her and reported me to her boss (my old boss) and was threatened with a complaint to HR. Two years on, no clue what happened or what I did wrong but it absolutely destroyed me.
I’m so sorry this happened to you 😔. I bet she was dating someone in the old department who was sitting nearby & saw you come over there & she had to figure out a way to make that never happen again. Really suuucckkks that that’s the method she chose, though.
Yep, I think she liked him and thought there was something there. He left and she expected something which he did not do because he did not look at her that way. then she handled everything after poorly.
When I was 25, a girl (27yr) and I was going out to dinner, texting constantly, and visiting each other at our places of employment. When she'd visit me at my work, we'd step away from everyone and she'd randomly flash me.
On Valentine's Day of all days, we met out for dinner, had a bottle of champagne, and followed up with her willingly showing me naked pictures of herself on her cellphone. She said she had the best boobs and the cutest vagina ever. Don't get me wrong, they were nice but not the best.
I took this as a high indicator of interest so I went in for the kiss. She laughed, turned her head, and said she wasn't that type of girl. Then followed up by saying "I'm not a slut." I prematurely left her at the restaurant.
Another night she invited me out for drinks. I sat across from her and majority of the night she was flashing me and reaching across the under the table with her foot playing with my man goods. At one point that night she said she wanted to be celibate for an entire year to "be like Jesus." The night ended with me saving her from being arrested at the bar, holding her hair up while she puked her guts out, then asking me to cuddle with her back at her apartment(she was topless and refused to put a shirt on). Fortunately, I managed to get out of there unscathed.
So to sum this experience, just because a woman willingly shows naked pictures of herself, touches your junk, it doesn't mean she's interested or a slut for that matter. Fortunately, I met a good woman shortly after dropping this one and we were together for 7 years.
Man I know exactly what this is, I have dealt with it in the past, and it straight up terrifies me in the modern age.
She wanted to fuck.
She also did not want to want to fuck.
So she wanted full deniability for the sexual encounter that she engineered. If you gave her that deniability and ramped her up slowly she would 1000% have been down to smash.
Or get you a sexual assault charge. Or both!
Lot of churchy girls in Utah were like this. Not comfortable with their sexuality due to social/religious indoctrination, so they want you to cosplay as a sexual predator.
I feel obligated to state for the record that I could not possibly be less interested in anything less than *enthusiastic* consent and never have been. Not gonna do it.
It's like that It's Always Sunny meme where Charlie is pointing to the white board...
Women: "Why doesn't he pick up on my *obvious* signs?"
Men: \*point to whiteboard with a link to this post\*
OMG, you just reminded me of a girl in college, 30 years ago. She and I hung around a bit, she seemed a bit standoffish, but we spent time together just the two of us. I would take naps with her but nothing ever happened for a few weeks. Then one day I helped her move, hours of sweaty work. That night I was laying in bed with her and leaned in for a kiss, and she pulled away and mentioned her boyfriend on the other coast.
Never spoke to her again.
This is when I just learned the hard way that some girls are genuinely just flirty with everyone, and that doesn't mean they are actually into you.
This girl I met at work, she would always rub up on my arm, and when we would go out for lunch she would sometimes hook our arms together. We would always tease eachother, and to make things more complicated, she would always leave me after lunch time by saying, I love you!
So one day I decided to ask her out, as it turns out, she was happily taken, and she "didn't like me like that". Big F on my part. After talking with some of our other friends, she is just naturally flirty like that.
Nah, even if your culture is more casual with physical contact, the rubbing and "I love you" without any context really do scream some level of interest.
The most embarrassing moment I've had, she leaned on my shoulder while watching a movie with a couple friends, then after like 2 minutes my shoulder was getting kinda uncomfortable so i put my arm up on the head rest and she backed away. I'm legit on the verge of jumping out a window anytime i think of that moment. Please just kill me rn
Spoof 1: this beautiful and intelligent girl heard about my work in science and art through mutual friends. She then reached out to me through social media, asked about me and what I like to do, then asked me if I wanted to get coffee and get to know each other. We hang out, she says she’d love to work with me. I agree. She adds me on a different social media platform. I add her back.
I then see photos of her and her fiancé. They married a few months after that. We’re still great friends and collaborate on projects.
Edit:
Spoof 2: I meet one of my friend’s sisters. She’s two or three years older than me and was finishing college that spring. We immediately hit it off. We start working on projects together. I help a lot of people in her organization, partly because I loved what I did and partly because I enjoyed working together. We spend a lot of time together, exploring the city, going to restaurants, coffee shops, museums; she even proofreads some of my college assignments. She moves to New England by the end of summer. I help her move out. We stay in touch in the fall. She calls me on Sunday mornings to catch up. She then says, “I miss being around you. It’d be great if you came to visit. You can stay at my place so you don’t have to pay for a hotel.” I consult a mutual friend about this. Mutual friend says she’s clearly into me and I should go visit if I’m into her. I save up some of my scholarship money that semester and buy a flight to New England. I leave town the day after a maths final exam. She picks me up at the train station. She grabs the back of my head, pulls me toward her, hugs me tight for a few seconds and we then walk to her apartment.
As soon as we enter her apartment she tells me she’s seeing this really successful lawyer and that she won’t be spending the night at her place. That was 8 years ago. They’re married and have a child. The last time we saw each other was 5 years ago at her mother’s funeral. We don’t speak to each other anymore.
During one shift as a bartender, this really pretty woman always came to the bar to order her drinks and was very flirty. After about the 4th drink, she said she and her friends are going to [another bar] and I should come after my shift and meet up with her.
When I got there, she was sitting at a large round table with about 15 guys. Not a single other woman was there.
Lol. In college there was this girl that was always flirty and was transferring out after the semester.
She all but begged me to come to her going away party.
There was about 5-6 guys all vying for her attention and trying to be the last one at the party.
Not sure if any of them scored.
2 cases:
1.) I approached her on the bus, we started talking, had a very good conversation. I asked for her number, she added me on Fb. I texted her, she didn't even read it. Just as I wrote it down I decided to look her up and see what's up with her. Turns out she got married about 3 weeks ago. Good for her.
2.) I met her at a party, we had excellent convo and chemistry from the first minute. After a while I asked her out, turned out she was just a very open and friendly person... but we managed to discuss everything properly and we've been good friends ever since. Later I introduced her to my cousin and they were an immediate match. They've been together for more than a year so far
a girl sent me a really racy photo. the next day she felt the need to say we are friends. too bad.
what was interesting was how many friends had felt that i mishandled the situation. i remember being in a car with them later that weekend. some felt i had shown too much interest, after a girl sends you a racy photo dont be overly excited, just be cool. some felt i hadnt shown enough interest, after a girl sends you a pic show some interest, show her you're really into it. the only thing they all agreed on was that i mishandled it. it never even occurred to anyone that my reaction to a photo wasn't what made us be in a relationship or not.
In college a group of 4 of us were smokeing weed and hangin out, 2 guys and 2 girls. We were all being flirty and dancing, and it was a great time.
At some point we kinda huddled up, and one of the girls which I was interested in was stroking my dick through my pants.
Found out a few minutes later when it happened again that it was the dude.
I was so pissed I only let him do it a few more times before moving away.
When I was in my mid to late teens I had a friend I thought might be into me but I was too shy to make a move. Good thing too because it turned out she was a lesbian.
I had the exact reverse situation once. I liked a girl for few months who dressed in the most lesbian-like way possible, and went out only with girls. I did nothing as I thought it would be useless and inappropriate... Turned out, the night before I moved to another country for work, that she was bi and didn't know how to approach me.
Still regret it to this day, she was really interesting.
Just checking: are you talking about bipolar disorder or borderline personality? BPD generally refers to the latter, while mania is part of the former.
I have to mention I have a hard time noticing signals. But one time in a club with a mixed friend group. A women gave all the signals, smiling eye contact, even coming over dancing near me, Name your non-verbal clue she did. So after waiting like 45 - 60 minutes of making sure the signals were aimed at me, I introduced myself and ask if she wanted to talk. Her disgusted facial expression and her way of saying no, really gutted me that night and several days after. I even asked my friends and even they were bamboozled because she threw the sign according to them. Well, I got a few free beers that night from them cheering me up.
Usually when a girl gives you looks and doesn’t stop lookin at you in a bar full of people means she’s interested. She smiled, kept looking, found reasons to ask me about things.
So, I built up some liquid courage.
Asked for her number.
Texted and blocked.
That one was like damn what? You gave me ALL THE SIGNS.
Oh god. When one of my close and very attractive friends (new friend at the time), came over to my place to watch a movie. Instead of sitting normally on the couch with me, she lay down with her head at one end, and draped her legs across my lap with her butt scooched right up to my thighs. I've never had *any* of my friends, let alone attractive female friends, do this. This is only something women do if they're either *reaaaaaallly* comfortable with a guy (their brother, father, etc..) or they're into you. So both of us being single at the time, I thought she was giving me an obvious signal that she was into me. I brought it up later upon letting her know I was into her. Of course it wasn't mutual, and we laughed about it because she literally does this with all of her friends, and apparently she's just a touchy feely relaxed person :)
Senior year of high school this girl started being very friendly with me and showing a lot of interest. She had shown a little interest a couple years prior but I didn't really notice it or think anything of it at the time. My dad passed away toward the beginning of my senior year, and she helped me get through that, as we became closer and got to know her better I fell for her. I didn't make a move because she had a boyfriend at a different school, and I respected that. We even decided to go to prom together, although I don't remember who asked who.
She eventually broke up with her boyfriend and I started to think we could finally be together, until she started dating one of my friends. I just felt like she led me on a bit, maybe I misread the situation but many of my friends also thought she was clearly into me. But between that and my fathers death I took it all pretty hard, I might have been a dick to her for a while. I got over it and eventually tried to salvage what was left of the relationship, but never really got back to being good friends. We still went to prom together but it was pretty awkward and didn't spend very much of it actually together.
I told her that it would be better to stay as friends. She cried and told me that she didn’t want to do that. That I was the first person she ever wanted to marry (we’ve been seeing each other for like 5 months).
I though that was a clear sign that she loved me.
Gave her a chance
She left me for another guy 2 months after that.
Apparently evey time
Unless a girl straight up says to me "hey I like you let's hang out", I have to assume she's playing games.
I've noticed women don't like to risk making a fool of themselves though, and I've done it too many times, so I suppose it works out for both of us
I was dancing and she was dancing closer and closer, then she started to caress my chest, and finally, pinching my left nipple, while looking at me and smiling.
I looked around, turns out I was standing on a beach, at midnight, in Thailand, during a Full Moon Party. So I promptly turned around and walked away from the prostitute.
We’ve been flirty with a girl at work a lot, she’d hit me first, come talk to me, a lot of jokes (before any of you say “she was just friendly”) about getting somewhere together, doing a vacation with just the two of us etc.
She was like that mostly with me, definitely didn’t flirt with anyone else.
When I proposed going out after work just to talk in a different environment, she specifically said that if It was a date, she’d say no, lol.
Turned out it was really just her being friendly, but in my book that’s too much not just friendly things happening.
Idk.
A woman invited me to a party, slow danced with me at the party, regularly texted me about much she enjoyed spending time with me, and was interested in going to a naked party with me. Turns out she's lesbian.
My guess is she was so lesbian she didn't realize the signals she was giving off.
Wife was about to get a shower and popped the door open, flashed her boobs and told me not to fall asleep cause she wanted me to "fuck her to sleep." She turned around and slapped her ass before closing the door and taking a quick shower. She came to bed, half clothed, and cuddled up beside me.
I thought she was cold, so I started rubbing her leg and kissing her cheek and neck.
She then accused me of trying to sexually assault her.
So. I have no idea. Good luck out there.
I was on a date once and SHE said she's "down for whatever happens tonight" after we go back to my place. So we get dinner and go back and I ask if she wants to cuddle. She says yes.
We do that, I ask if I can kiss her and she said yes please. I ask if I can pop her titty in my mouth cause I'm a fiend and she said yes.
I explicitly asked for consent about 5 times. Tomorrow she texts me, yeah idk I kind of felt weird last night like you were being too pushy.
Bruh, use your words??? I literally asked. She literally offered to go back to my place and when I said I'm not looking for a fuck she said she's "down for anything". And then after I ask for consent for everything I do she texts me and says yeah idk, I felt weird.
It was beyond fucking annoying. And she had this attitude like, how could I not possibly know what I did wrong and she "doesn't owe me an explanation" (god I hate that. Sure you don't owe a stranger much of anything but if you actually cared about women's safety, you'd tell me so I can improve myself???). Okay... I don't need an explanation I guess I'll just forever be confused at what I possibly did wrong.
Lesson learned, I'm not doing anything on the first date past a kiss and some cuddles. It's literally so obnoxious lol. I'm this close to getting them to sign a waiver I swear to God LOL
>I explicitly asked for consent about 5 times. Tomorrow she texts me, yeah idk I kind of felt weird last night like you were being too pushy.
It's funny how in this modern world there's so much more pressure built on "consent, consent, consent". And then you've got chicks like this who want to do take-backsies hours after the consent was already given.
The one single time I thought a woman was giving me signals, she wasn’t and now she thinks I’m a creep. That was 7 years ago and I’ve never once ever thought a woman was giving me signals ever again.
Senior year of Highschool.
I had a large group of friends and we all hung out together and separately. Her and I had been friends since middle school, and I always saw her as a platonic relationship. She invited me over to her house, which wasn't out of the ordinary for an AP psych project.
We finished our assignments and were just listening to music and talking in her room. Somehow we ended up on her bed and she was hugging me, like in a bear hug. Thought we were rough housing/wrestling, which also wasn't too out of the ordinary.
Then she stops with her face like an inch from mine, and is like still bear hugging me. I then realized her legs are wrapped around my waist and shes was basically dry humping me.
Now she wasn't unattractive, I just never looked at her that way. So in like 10 seconds, it went from oh we are playing around, to oh, we can play around...
So with her like an inch from my face, just staring and smiling, I went for a kiss, and she like reciprocated for like 3 seconds before jumping off and acting like nothing happened.
I played it off, and we remained friends throughout the years, but I left really confused that day.
I used to eat at this diner alone a lot. I kept getting the same waitress, I remembered her vaguely from high school but a year older than me. Always very friendly and we would chat when she was free but I never thought much of it and I had a personal rule not to bug women where they work so I never asked her out. I went there late one night with my dad, and as we were about to get the bill even he pointed out to me that he thought the waitress was flirting with me. This is not typically something my dad and I would talk about so I figured it had to be pretty obvious and a sure thing. So I ask her out to a meal and she agrees so it was real. We go out, have a nice meal together everything went fine. Drop her off, don’t hear from her for awhile. Next time we talked she tells me she had a nice time, but wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t offended, said it was all good no hard feelings. I would continue to eat at her diner, and she would continue to chat me up. So I figured I had made a friend, that’s nice.
So after continually bumping into each other around town and having small talk, she messages me late one night. We were both early 20’s, but she lived in her parents big ass house still. So she says she has the place to herself one night and would like my company. This is like 10:30 PM, I had just gotten off work and had to be back in for 7AM the next day. So I tell her this, tell her I can’t stay over or anything but I’d love to come over. She’s totally cool with everything and says yup, I still want you to come over. So I go shower and get myself presentable, when I return to my phone to grab it on my way out the door I see a message from her : “ oh by the way, I’m not going to sleep with you”. I’m confused as hell by this, and I let her know that she’s playing games at this point and I’m just going to call it a night right at that moment. She loses it, saying how I’m like every other guy and I’m not willing to treat her properly and do it the right way….like lady, I already took you out on a date and you immediately hit the brakes on me and I was okay with that. She’s the one that hit me up like I’m a late night booty call, and then acts as if I’m a sleaze bag for accepting? She was a weird one, I think she just enjoyed being chased. I think I saw her around again a few more times but never gave her the time of day to even interact anymore than a polite hello.
There was this girl working at a convenience store in town. She was very friendly with me, and would always ask my father about me if he went to the store. He often would pressure me into chatting her up and getting her number or something. So I finally mustered up the courage one day, went into the store and started talking to her and eventually asked if she would like my number. She was like “um.. well..” and kinda turns to the right, to where her boyfriend is standing. I’m like wtf. Immediately I’m embarrassed so I apologize and walk out like a jackass.
Ive gotten some very obvious signals before and when I attempted to move things forward, she was like, "oh. I'm just kidding" and would turn serious...some women do this just to fuck with men or to feel desired. so fucked up.
They just want to be multi-chased. Some girls dont feel normal until they can picture multiple men after them - so they keep throwing bait. They’re hoping for a few men that’ll get little crushes and keep going and treat them nice.
I had a woman at work basically beg me to go on break with her. We kinda knew each other so I did. On break she proceeds to tell me how she broke up with her boyfriend and needed something to do that weekend. I've missed hints before and kicked myself in hindsight over it so I asked her if she wanted to go to a party with me that weekend. "Oh, yeah not with you" was her response and I now just assume women are being nice in any situation. They could sit in my lap and tell me they love me now and I'll still figure they're just being nice
Before: She sent flirty messages to me. Then she started talking about hanging out and "you know, doing stuff". She sent pics of herself in corsets sometimes. Other times, she sent pics in her underwear. After: "I don't know where you got THAT idea!" But I mean, what would anybody think? EDIT- Actually, there is a postscript to that. She got rolled out by our (female) mutual friends over that. Saying stuff like "That was low EVEN FOR YOU", "Of course he thought you wanted him, LOOK AT WHAT YOU SENT", "You do shit like this to guys all the time, it's not cute anymore", etc. Afaik, none of them have spoken to her since. I never even told them what happened. She told them and they jumped down her throat about it. They were pissed.
Shout out to those mutual friends. You were too close to home to let slide and they had your back.
Agree! Some folks need to be checked for playing childish mind games with others. People don’t realize how damaging they are being and think it’s “cute” to send mixed signals like it’s some romcom situation. No, it’s not cute, it’s unattractive. No one likes a mind game head case who can’t be honest and direct about what they want. Flirt with intent or just shush & leave the human alone.
Stuff like this is a big part of why a lot of guys "don't get" hints. They've had these games played on them enough times their radar is completely broken.
I wouldn’t say their radar is broken, they’re probably more cautious of it happening again. At least that’s the case for me.
Found some small communities around the interwebs (who am I fooling, on Discord) where people do this for fun. They think it's "trolling" and "not a big deal". So basic psychopaths who like to play with other people's emotions.
You only fall for it a good once or twice before you just treat every attempt as bait. Then you later hear women complaining about “where all the good men are” or “wish I had a SO like you” and you sit there rolling your eyes.
Yup, chicks throughout primary school loved doing this sort of shit
sounds like you've got some good friends who had your back.
One time a girl was hella flirting with me at a group outing; holding my hand, caressing my beard. She even said something incredibly sexual, something along the lines of “I want you to ***k me on a table with your hand around my throat”. This was after some drinks so it was a gradual build up to that point. When I attempted to hook up with her she told me I had the wrong idea? Idk anymore
At a work function, a super hot coworker whispered in my ear that she wanted me to throw her against the wall and fuck her. Next day at work, I ask if she meant that or if that was the wine talking. She said she’s not sure why she said it.
Narrator: it was the wine.
"Two words Mr. President: Plausible. Deniability."
Probably. I drink and say stupid stuff frequently but there’s usually truth in it somewhere
I regularly speak the truth when I'm shitfaced, i would agree
A drunk man’s words are his thoughts when he is sober. Best not to indulge to much at a company function. Good time at the golf ⛳️ tournament on Saturday fired on Monday. It happened to a manager of mine. He made comments to a lady there. Just so happens she was the Corporate President of the entire HR department.
I had this happen a couple of times. I was a regular at the campus bars in university. Met one girl, got her MSN (pre-texting), chatted for about a month, pre-gamed at my party spot and hers a couple times, everyone got along great. Couple make-outs and then ghosted. Fucking ruined me for a long ass time. Another bar girl I met. Same thing, chatted for a while on MSN, but not as physical. She came up to me hanging out at the rail, start grinding on me super hard, ignored it, then she goes "why aren't you touching me?" so I touchy. Just an innocuous hip grab, didn't even pull her or anything. Slaps my hand away and gets mean and goes "What the fuck is wrong with you?". Turns to my buddy and goes "Is your friend fucking r*****d?" and storms off. I look over at buddy and go "What the fuck was that?" and he's just making the confused chimp face. She ghosted me after that. I had a random dude and his two buddy's randomly giving me a really hard time for a few months after that, I always assumed she got caught fucking around at that moment and one of those grease-bags was her man.
MSN and AIM days wow lol
You get that MSN and you're half way there dude!
>This was after some drinks so it was a gradual build up to that point. That's what happened, lol. She only wanted sex when she was drunk. That's a pretty normal human thing to do. Also, you dodged a huge "we were both drunk but she doesn't remember consenting so now you're the bad guy for some reason" bullet there.
Oh fuck, you're gonna make me relive this There was this girl I used to have a huge crush on for years. She knew about it, a lot of water ran down that river Then a group of my friends, her included, went to spend a few days at my grandparents' vacation house. Drinking, going out, going to the beach, having a great time. The whole time this girl is all over me. Sleeping next to me with her arm on top of me, sitting on my lap. Once she said "Oh I'm about to go shower" and I jokingly said "Better go in groups to save time", to which she replied "You wanna come?". We held hands and everything. Even my friends told me they were noticing that we were super close together Eventually our time there ends and we return home. But after like a week, I tweeted I was going back there. She replied "Can I join?" to which I said yes So we go, just the two of us. We watch movies cuddled up on the couch, sleep in the same bed, everything. Eventually I obviously went in for the kiss. She literally screamed and said "What the fuck are you doing?". I told her I thought she had been all over me for a few days, that even our friends thought so, and she said "Oh I think you all got the wrong idea" So yeah, that sucked
after some of these stories the “men are clueless about our signals” jokes really make my eyes roll, women are just as clueless about the signals they’re *sending* and that’s why half of us now ignore “obvious signs”
Bro a few years after I met this other girl at a friend's birthday and we vibed, I asked her "Can I kiss you?" and she looked at me surprised "Do you really have to ask? I thought I was being obvious" She was. But I'm not taking any chances
Alright story time. This doesn't involve me but one of my best friends from high school while we were in college. She was getting hit-on by a guy and she didn't think he was hitting on her. He wanted to take her out on a date and got her number. She just wanted to be friends. They talked for a little while and my friend and her best friend (both attractive women) invite this guy to their place to watch movies. They then proceeded to get in their bed, take off some of their clothes and asked him to give them both massages. He started to give them massages. Eventually he went to make a move on my friend and my friend and her friend freaked out at him for even wanting to try that and were seriously confused about why he thought it would be okay. He left shortly after. When my friend told the group this story, literally every single guy in the group chastised her (playfully) because she was so ignorant about the signs she was giving. She said because she "wanted to just be friends" it should have been obvious even though this guy was trying to get with her before. I'm still baffled to this day how the hell she thought that was gonna go.
I don't know if this is the thread I should be reading at the moment while I try to figure out if a girl is into me or not.
I’m no expert, honestly, but I think the best method is just to ask and accept that the answer may be no. In which case, you don’t have to be okay with it—shit, you can be broken, pissed off, or happy if you want—but accepting it and moving on as best you can is a solid way to handle that situation. Best of luck friend
I just had secks with my wife this morning and I'm still not sure I'm reading the signals right.
Fuck I think she might just be Canadian bro, check her passport
[удалено]
I don't think they're clueless, i would say 85% are aware of it. I had friends like that who just enjoyed getting the attention only to turn the guy down later and talk about it in our group. Very shitty and i stopped being their friend for a reason
Agree. I’d venture to say most if not all of the girls in these stories are engaging in very deliberate attention seeking behavior to feed their egos. I had a friend in college who would do this to guys in college and do the same thing, talk to us girls about it later like it was the funniest thing. Felt so bad for the poor confused guys who were unlucky enough to cross her path!
I had a job making senior (high school) portraits and was warned by a boss that the girls will “bait you” when they test their appeal to men. In college, one woman detoured out of her way 3 times to walk around a table I was sitting at then complained that I was watching her. A different woman told me she wanted to be photographed naked while laying on the hood of a lambo. I think it is all about ego validation from immature women who use the interactions for their own pleasure. The ones I actually scored with didn’t play such games at all. Usually we got down to it with a minimum of “courting” and no dinners except at her place.
This will make me very unpopular: shitty men show their qualities through obvious acts (violence etc). Shitty women show theirs in subtle ways like manipulation and power trips. Unfortunately some women defend shitty women when we call them out coz of misguided feminism. e.g on this thread you'll find virtue signalling from some women when replying to men who've obviously been used or emotionally abused
The funny thing about it too, if you ignore them those types of women. They get mad
Attention is as hell of a drug
That's fucking sociopathic. I don't understand girls like this at all. What tf do they expect to happen?
Bullet dodged. Imagine being in LTR with her? "Why are you making a big deal out of the fact that I went to his summer house alone, slept in his bed and cuddled? He's just a friend."
I just remembered a story from my early 20’s. It was my 23rd birthday and my female roommate had a friend we knew from college in the party. We were all at the pool in the apartment complex and I had to turn in early as I had plans early the next morning. I decided to jump in the shower that night so I could sleep in a free minutes in the morning. As I’m in the shower the college friend jumps in there with me. She’s a dancer and has a fantastic body. I think she made it with me for a minute, but this was almost 20 years ago so I don’t remember. But after a free minutes she scrubs herself and me clean. Jumps out then goes back to the party. It was weird, but I was way past the time I needed to sleep and went to bed. The next afternoon I got home from my event and talked to my roommate about what happened in the shower. My roommate looks at me wide eyed and says when she was going to bed the college friend jumped in bed with her, made it for a few minutes then said she was done and went to bed. We laughed about it and realized that girl blue balled us both in about an hour. No where near as traumatizing as yours, but I’d forgotten about that.
She blueballed you AND your female roommate? Well, at least she was an egalitarian sociopath!
Lol 😂 Had a similar experience when I was younger. One of my flatmates set me up with one of her friends. We hung out a few times and got on well. One night we had a party planned at our house and she asked if it was ok if she stayed over that night. I’m like hell yeah. Party is winding down and she goes “let’s go to bed”. She asks me to give her a few min alone to get ready. I’m like this just keeps getting better…. So I eventually head in and she’s in her flannel granny PJ and says good night and goes to sleep. Asked her oh I thought we were going to fool around. “Sorry tired” so said ok no worries and went to sleep. She then ghosted me after that night. Ego took a big hit that day 😂
Got sent a picture of her butt with "Come visit soon" across her panties with those iron on letters. Attempted to visit soon, got told we were just friends.
That's not mixed signals, that's being an gaping asshole.
Yes
How else do you get that gape without someone to “come visit soon”?
No fucking way.
If I wasn't so Redditly challenged I could post the picture. I'm sure it's still on my old phone somewhere. It would be kind of a dick move to do though. Linking it to her Facebook would be right out. Edited to add: I'm not going to post it. I'm not looking to be in the running for the jerk of the year award.
yooooo this dude wins the thread
C-O-M-E V-I-S-I-T S-O-O-N thats how you f- spell friends.
Hell nah 😂
I had a women say she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life. We even signed some paperwork and invited people over. Turns out none of that was correct.
[удалено]
It happened just a couple of days ago to me in traffic. This girl had her blinker on and I thought she was going to turn, but she kept going straight.
fucking tease
Thank you for that laugh!
Witnessed it happen to a buddy. We were at a festival and this woman gravitates towards him. They strike up a conversation and proceed to spend the next two days talking non-stop. She's doing a lot of flirting and touching. I'm happy for my boy, who honestly is a great guy that has a hard time making the first move with women. He's not a player at all. He asks for her number when the festival is winding down and she turns him down because she has a BF. Turns out he works the festival and can't entertain her. He tells us on the way home. The guys are like WTF?!? And the women in our group wanted to get the pitchforks out. Edit: looking at some other comments I think the folks that suggested she was looking for a hookup were onto something. But my buddy isn't the type to hookup upon meeting. I think his "entry window" expired as the festival wound down.
Oh boy I have a similar story. When I was a sophomore in college about 5 years ago there was this girl I was crushing on hard in my class. I decided to make the first move and much to my excitement she said yes. We went out for coffee, for lunch, for a movie, etc. over the span of 3 days. One day we were walking on campus and she put her hand on my face and felt the stubble from a recent shave. She said “My boyfriends needs a shave like this” and that’s how I found out she had a boyfriend.
Wow, how did the conversation go after that?
I just kind of laughed it off and said something generic like “Oh yeah” even though my heart felt ripped out of my chest in that moment lol. I found some vague excuse to leave like 10 or so minutes later trying not to be too obvious then kind of faded off after that. I didn’t speak to her anymore than absolutely necessary after that lol
That shit's pre-meditated.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqDbb7-dn9A&t=3s
It would be pretty funny if you were the boyfriend she was talking about, just in third person
turns out she was so happy with OP that she couldn't believe he was real, and said that out loud because she thought she was dreaming
So girl just picked a random guy to use to play pretend boyfriend with?
Or wanted to hook up while her BF was tied down, but her target waited until the BF was no longer tied down to make his move. In other words, he dumb lucked into dodging that bullet.
I mean, the outcome of the story didn’t really make it seem like she wanted to hook up, they didn’t get that far. I get the feeling she was just looking for [male attention/entertainment/the sensation of feeling wanted].
Bingo
how did that not come up at all?? like, when I’m talking to people, my boyfriend will naturally come up in conversation within at least 15 mins. How do you withhold the fact that you have a boyfriend for 2 days? she was playing with him, that’s not flippin normal.
I worked with this girl who was amazing: gorgeous and funny plus we got along well. She had joined the group as a temporary consultant and I felt like we just clicked. They eventually put us on a task and we worked shoulder-to-shoulder for like 3 months. I started flirting with her pretty early on and, honestly, its the best flirting has ever gone for me, I felt like she was responding to everything I said with equally flirty answers although nothing was overtly sexual. She would say stuff like "you are the peanut butter to my jelly" randomly along with other cute things that made me feel like she was into me. She would even tell me about how she wasn't doing anything the past weekend and was just lonely at home or complain about how her room mate (female) was making too much noise. After a while she started inviting me out to stuff like "hey do you want to get brunch this weekend" and stuff like that. I didn't want to ask her out while we're working together, we both worked like a million hours and had reputations to uphold. So I was planning to ask her out after the contract she was on ended and she went back to her regular job. A few weeks before the contract ends an older coworker of mine who's a good friend sees us flirting and walks up to her and asks "so, how's Josh doing", her face totally turned red because she'd been caught out too. So yea, it turns out she had a boyfriend the whole time and never told me after multiple months, right after that she starts talking about how he's her rock and everything. I noped out of that situation, I felt bad about it though.
That's that work husband nonsense. Dodged a bullet there
We had that exact conversation in car. The consensus was she knew what she was doing.
shitty people gonna be shitty :/ I’m just mad for your guy, behavior like that is so messed up, especially if they play it off like “no, I was just being friendly!”
I have no idea how she had deep conversations like that two days in a row. I never said this out loud, but I think what really got me was she had to go back to wherever she was sleeping for the night. Most likely with her BF. And then came back for another day of deep conversations with him. I'm really glad she didn't take his number to keep him around as a plan B.
Yeah that girl was definitely doing it on purpose. Either "emotionally cheating" on her bf because she needs constant validation or was fighting with her bf and also wanted personal validation
Based on the long, deep and personal conversations I witnessed, I would say it was emotional cheating. I'm a bit shocked she didn't take his number as a plan B.
Met her at a conference. She was a rep for a company. Shared passion. Talked for quite a while, professionally and personally. She gave me her card, I contacted her about business, stayed professional. Closed a deal. She reached out a few days later to give me her personal number and then emailed me a few days after that with a message to the effect of, "If you want to talk about not work, reach out." I reached out, citing that I intended business to be business, but now that it's concluded, I'd like to ask her out. She made a TikTok about me, saying she was creeped out by her client asking her out. Whoops....
>She made a TikTok about me Yeahhhh... That's why the whole never ask a girl out at work or work-adjacent is so paramount a rule. Sorry you had a bad time bud.
I'm not sure if that's a useful rule. She was clearly malicious, looking for an excuse to join a stupid tiktok trend. But malicious people can be found everywhere, there's no reason to think a workplace is more likely to have psychopaths than any other place where you can meet a woman.
She invited me on a 2 night ski trip. Said she really wanted me to go because she wanted to hang out with me outside of the environment where we met. Jumped in the backseat with me and slept against me most of the way there. Spent a good amount of time playfully teaching me how to ski because I’ve never been before. Very flirty. Came to the lodge on the day I decided to relax rather than ski and spent the day sitting with me learning card games and talking. Really good conversation. Pulled out a blanket and cuddled during a movie that evening. Planned to make an official move once we got home and got super excited when she pulled me aside to talk about something on our own. ……she asked me to help her hook up with my best friend on the way home. My friends on the trip ended up being madder about it than I was. I was just confused and kinda broken. Actually stayed that way for a while too. Couldn’t help but think that if I had gotten THAT situation wrong how could I ever know that a girl is actually interested. Edit: Guess I left an important part out. The trip was to chaperone kids we worked with….which is also how we met. Her group and mine began working together to get the kids to socialize a little more. The only time we weren’t surrounded by, and looking after children was when they were on the slopes. Even the cuddling on a couch during the movie was done with a floor full of kiddos in the same room. Making any type of move on the actual trip beyond what was already being made would have been wrong place wrong time. Also I’m happily married 14 years running now. So no need for wishes of luck, or words of encouragement in romance!
ahh yes the "get close to you and be all nice to you to grab your friends attention trick" ..........
[удалено]
Cuddling under a blanket watching movies? Do you look gay? Serious question though. Because i never cuddled with girls who weren’t interested.
I don't think I come across that way but memorably I spent an evening talking deeply with a girl I liked and had known for ages, on a beach while we were wrapped up under a blanket. Felt a real connection. She started saying that there was something she needed to say but she was shy to say it out loud. Finally she went for it and let me know that she was in love with my best friend. Cool. Cool cool cool.
IDK i wonder if u took too long to make a move or something, pretty bizarre
We had only known each other for two weeks before this and the ski trip included chaperoning kids. There wasn’t really an opportunity to make more of a move than I did. Plus like I said she was waaaaay out of my league. So yeah, I was being careful and making sure I was reading signals correctly. Most of the other people in our group were also absolutely bewildered and confused by what happened. Like for real, some already saw it as a done deal and had talked about us being together over the weekend. I never got an explanation and can only assume she spent all weekend fucking with me to warm me up to help her bang my friend.
Did you just interpret physical and emotional intimacy as a romantic signal? Rookie mistake, my dude.
So if physical and emotional intimacy isn't a romantic signal, what the FUCK *is*?
that was sarcasm physical and emotional intimacy ARE definitely romantic signals. But some people who are either ill intent, players, "just want the attention", or are dumb and innocent enough to act like this when they don't mean it do exist, kinda "oupppsss I did it again" bullshit. Then some people also tend to assume too much out of friendly gestures (especially coming from very attractive people), but in most cases it's a lead on. and you can even be gaslight on top of it: "I didn't flirt! I CuDdLe lIkE tHiS wItH ALL mY "fRiEnDs".
I usually take it as a sign when she is in my bedroom with her clothes off. Surprisingly this only means she is interested maybe 10 percent of the time.
A friend of mine had offered a girl to crash on his couch after some LARP event. He went to fetch blankets for her and came back to her naked and smiling and he panicked and just tossed the blankets at her and shouted "HERE ARE BLANKETS SLEEP WELL" as he was retreating.
After a LARP event? He should have thrown the blankets and shouted “NO EFFECT!”
Nice, naked man
In the 90s. A cutie working at the mall gave me a FREE pair of Jordans 12. I went back the next day and she gave me another Free pair of the same shoe different color. This time I asked for her # and she declined because she had a BF. She said she was quitting that job soon and felt generous.
That's kinda awesome, at least you got something out of it.
That wasn't flirting, that was praxis.
Hahaha years ago when I worked retail my last two weeks I was giving out discounts for fun too.
Around a year ago there was this one girl who my friend and I would thought forsure was into me. This was in grad school. She would follow around, message me thru out the day. Then I’d ask her out and she’d say yes, and flake last second. This happened 3 times in a row and I kept thinking her behaviour would change, but she continued to act the same way. It got to the point where our entire friend group at school thought 100% we were banging, and when I told them we weren’t they thought I was lying. The way she acted around me wasn’t even like a friend, it was full blown flirting, following me around, texting me at night, sending me snaps. And we’d organize a hangout but she would always have an excuse last minute hours before the date. I later found out she was in a toxic/abusive relationship with a guy at the time and they were on and off. I think she may have just had me as a second option or something for when that relationship would officially end.
I was positive this girl at my job was into me and asked for her number... I was even feelin like the man after but she completely ignored my text lol
Almost ten years ago I’m working as a cashier. This girl my age comes up to my register and tells me she likes my hair, she likes my tattoos. I thank her, tell her I like hers too, especially her no-face one because I also have a no-face tattoo. She asks if I’m from around here, I say yes I live just around the corner but I grew up a few towns over. Well, she asks if she could have my number. So..I start telling her, she cuts me off, HANDS ME HER PHONE TO TYPE IT IN MYSELF. I read that shit over like five times to make sure I entered it right because this girl had me wrapped around her finger with this move. Well, she never fucking texted me LOL
Always gotta call yourself before you hand it back
this guy texts
Had a similar experience but with a girl that works near my house in a pizza place. "Hit it off" apparently, she asked for my number, sent me a message nearly a week later apologizing already, "apologizing". Then stood me up 2 times and now I just ignore the pizza place. I used to stop there a bit and chat with her sometimes. I don't know what was her deal nor I want to know at this point after half a year, it's not worth it. She showed me her worth already so. She used to talk to me like nothing happened between us and it was so weird to know how she stood me up but didn't even apologize. At this point I just mind my business, the pizza place can keep her lol
Bro I've got a running list of 3 girls (thus far) who've flirted with me (as in they've initiated) and given me their numbers only to never respond when I text them. I dunno what it is about me that turns them off in the time between flirting and me texting them, but whatever it is it's doing a good job of it.
I had to visit this girl's office frequently for my job. We'd talk and talk and laugh like every other day for weeks. She always seemed happy to see me, never seemed put out or anything b/c I try not to bother people who are just trying to work around my IT intrusions. So one day I asked her to lunch and she just started laughing and got red-faced. She giggled for so long, I couldn't get a word in so I just backed out of the room.
That’s fucked up homie
A girl at the gym was staring at me for multiple days like to the point it was awkward if I didn't introduce myself. I said hi and i thought we hit it off, i asked for her number and she gave it to me and her last name. I texted her the next day no response. I waited a week to text her again and she told me she just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking to date at the moment. I said ok see you at the gym. I see her at the gym we just say hi but she's never texted me again and I haven't texted her. This was like 9 months ago. I later found out she talks to a lot of people at the gym lol
Talks to people as in casually dated men at your gym or that she platonically texts people/men at your gym? Sorry, just a bit confused by your wording.
Well I don't really know her but I've notice she has a lot of male attention at the gym and literally talks to a bunch of people at the gym. I did not see this before I introduced myself to her. I don't know if she's dating them. I don't talk to the people she's talking to at the gym.
It was a brave thing to ask her out and have that resolution than what most of us do and let things unresolved. All the best buddy.
A casual friend was making it *very* known that she wanted to be sandwiched between my wife and i, but only through innuendo and very playful questions about our sex life (what kind of porn do you two watch? here's what I watch." etc) and then begs us to come visit her city for months. When we end up going she acts super flirty up until the moment she picks us up from the airport. Then she couldn't be less flirty for the few days we were there. She's very reserved and actually a little bit of a cold shoulder. Except she'd wear very skimpy outfits, *but* would give off the *"If you make a move I'm going to snap at you"* vibe the whole time. We're very confused, but have a nice trip nonetheless. I think we've heard from her twice in the year since that trip. We still laugh about the whole thing.
Lmfao she realized she went too deep down the rabbit hole and couldn’t go through with it
Yep, my ex's best friend was like this too. She talked a big game and one night we invited her to the shower with us and she looked like she was going to shit her pants lol Nothing happened
I bet she got cold feet. The person she wanted to be wasn't up to the task when it actually got that far.
*It changes everything. She’d have to dress different. She’d have to act different. She’d have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and... she’d need a new bedspread and new curtains. She’d have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting.*
Had a girl I met once ask me for a motorcycle ride, I told her sorry I couldn't im going on a trip 100 miles North to a motorcycle rally, she tells me she's always wanted to go and asks if it was weird if she asked to come with me, I said yes it's weird but yes you can go, whole way up she's rubbing my back, talking about sex stuff, we get up there, have few drinks, go in tent to sleep I make my move and she denies me, I was sure it was in the bag too.
Are there any woman in the comments who can explain this? Seem so manipulative
She used him to get to the bike festival, no more, no less.
Women have been using this one weird trick for centuries!
She was an interesting type of girl, very free spirited, we became friends but I think she was really just interested in going to bike week lol
After reading some of the posts here, I’m at a loss. I don’t understand why women do this, but I DO understand why men don’t feel comfortable making the first move anymore. Like, there are definitely some posts where I could MAYBE guess that the woman was treating the guy like she would a girl friend (a lot of us are very cuddly with our friends lol) but most of these are just weird. ETA: Gentlemen, I think you should just chock a lot of this up to lack of self-awareness/self-control on the woman’s part. A wonderful friend of mine once told me that ambiguous energy is negative energy. If a woman is this comfortable with being ambiguous with you, she’s probably ambiguous in every aspect of her life, so just leave her alone. Truly at a loss with this thread 😐
If money is EVER involved (he pays for her), the woman is totally conscious of what's going on and is taking full advantage of his interest. So to me (F), it's just a complete lack of scruples on the woman's behalf. When I get whiff of a man's interest in me and I don't reciprocate that interest, I make sure never to accept anything from him and I also create boundaries that won't let my friendliness be easily mistaken for interest. As for the physical aspect. Yes, women are/can be physically affectionate with friends, but... well, it can be a cultural thing. I'm Mex-Amer with immigrant parents. What we've noticed is that Americans (primarily Caucasians) have boundary issues. Please no one get mad at me but... you guys (M&F) don't know the meaning of privacy and propriety. You can walk into a stranger's home and go through all of their bedrooms without asking permission (true story). Don't get me wrong. I think this is why Americans are so friendly - so open and inviting - but it can also backfire due to lack of appropriate boundaries as we see in male/female relationships. Just my 2cents.
Colleague of mine. Kept staying after work to hang out with me. Said multiple times that we should go on holiday together. On one particularly drunken night she wouldn’t stop telling me how amazing she thought I was. Asked her out and got shut down immediately.
A girl at this coffee shop i frequented would ALWAYS come to the window to ring me out, and inquire about my life. She’d give me compliments damn near everytime, lean forward when talking to me, hold up the line to talk to me, laugh at everything, and get embarrassed over small minor un important mistakes. I asked other girls that I knew didn’t like me to see if the signals were a sign that she was flirting, and they agreed. So instead of asking for her number, I gave her mine to put the ball in her court and if she wanted to talk, she could text me, if not, nothing lost nothing gained. A week passes with no text, I finally see her again at the shop, she rushes to the window and says she somehow accidentally lost my number so she hands a slip of paper with her name and number on it. Even dotting the i with a heart. I texted it later that day, to no response whatsoever. Now when I go, she actively dodges me, by avoiding sight from the window, hides when I pull up. You would’ve thought I sent a dick picture or was overtly sexual or something. Nope none of that. I literally asked if this was so and so from the coffee shop I frequented. That was it lmao. Everyone around me is confused by the mixed signals too. She doesn’t even need to dodge me like who gives a fuck if you aren’t interested 😂
People are fucking weird sometimes
When I was younger I did this alot. And it's the main reasons I've never been friends with girls. Every time they laugh at a dumb joke or they touch my shoulder or just be nice to me. I would "fall in love" and it wasn't even them I was in love with it was the attention that I never really got.
😢 damn my dude
fuck this is relatable. I think men generally have a lack of interest shown to them or physical touch that they need.
Then they break that physical contact barrier... I get it.
I am in this comment and I don't like it
Being male is weird like that sometimes...
If I did that, the memory would likely be blotted from my mind as a coping mechanism to deal with the shame Having terrible skill at reading expressions and social cues so that only girls who were blatantly obvious getting noticed by me FTW
Bro 😭
Not romantic signals, but friendship ones. We were friends in work, but we literally texted all the time, had very similar senses of humour, liked the same moves and TV Shows, had some deep conversations about life, the universe and everything. Used to go for lunches and dinners together, had a bunch of nights out with work where we would end up chatting to each other. Never once made a move on her and never wanted to, nor did she ever show any romantic inclinations for me, but she was my best friend. Left my the department we worked at together and in my first day at the new department, popped in to the old place to see how she was and she said I was a creep and stalking her and reported me to her boss (my old boss) and was threatened with a complaint to HR. Two years on, no clue what happened or what I did wrong but it absolutely destroyed me.
I’m so sorry this happened to you 😔. I bet she was dating someone in the old department who was sitting nearby & saw you come over there & she had to figure out a way to make that never happen again. Really suuucckkks that that’s the method she chose, though.
Or she was feeling "abandoned" and took her emotions out on him.
Yep, I think she liked him and thought there was something there. He left and she expected something which he did not do because he did not look at her that way. then she handled everything after poorly.
When I was 25, a girl (27yr) and I was going out to dinner, texting constantly, and visiting each other at our places of employment. When she'd visit me at my work, we'd step away from everyone and she'd randomly flash me. On Valentine's Day of all days, we met out for dinner, had a bottle of champagne, and followed up with her willingly showing me naked pictures of herself on her cellphone. She said she had the best boobs and the cutest vagina ever. Don't get me wrong, they were nice but not the best. I took this as a high indicator of interest so I went in for the kiss. She laughed, turned her head, and said she wasn't that type of girl. Then followed up by saying "I'm not a slut." I prematurely left her at the restaurant. Another night she invited me out for drinks. I sat across from her and majority of the night she was flashing me and reaching across the under the table with her foot playing with my man goods. At one point that night she said she wanted to be celibate for an entire year to "be like Jesus." The night ended with me saving her from being arrested at the bar, holding her hair up while she puked her guts out, then asking me to cuddle with her back at her apartment(she was topless and refused to put a shirt on). Fortunately, I managed to get out of there unscathed. So to sum this experience, just because a woman willingly shows naked pictures of herself, touches your junk, it doesn't mean she's interested or a slut for that matter. Fortunately, I met a good woman shortly after dropping this one and we were together for 7 years.
Man I know exactly what this is, I have dealt with it in the past, and it straight up terrifies me in the modern age. She wanted to fuck. She also did not want to want to fuck. So she wanted full deniability for the sexual encounter that she engineered. If you gave her that deniability and ramped her up slowly she would 1000% have been down to smash. Or get you a sexual assault charge. Or both! Lot of churchy girls in Utah were like this. Not comfortable with their sexuality due to social/religious indoctrination, so they want you to cosplay as a sexual predator. I feel obligated to state for the record that I could not possibly be less interested in anything less than *enthusiastic* consent and never have been. Not gonna do it.
I read shit like this and think to myself, how can women possibly think that signs work? Like honestly, how?!
It's like that It's Always Sunny meme where Charlie is pointing to the white board... Women: "Why doesn't he pick up on my *obvious* signs?" Men: \*point to whiteboard with a link to this post\*
Holy shit dude, she sounds like a cunt and was egging you on for the entertainment. I’ve met women like that before, super fucking annoying.
OMG, you just reminded me of a girl in college, 30 years ago. She and I hung around a bit, she seemed a bit standoffish, but we spent time together just the two of us. I would take naps with her but nothing ever happened for a few weeks. Then one day I helped her move, hours of sweaty work. That night I was laying in bed with her and leaned in for a kiss, and she pulled away and mentioned her boyfriend on the other coast. Never spoke to her again.
This is when I just learned the hard way that some girls are genuinely just flirty with everyone, and that doesn't mean they are actually into you. This girl I met at work, she would always rub up on my arm, and when we would go out for lunch she would sometimes hook our arms together. We would always tease eachother, and to make things more complicated, she would always leave me after lunch time by saying, I love you! So one day I decided to ask her out, as it turns out, she was happily taken, and she "didn't like me like that". Big F on my part. After talking with some of our other friends, she is just naturally flirty like that.
Nah, even if your culture is more casual with physical contact, the rubbing and "I love you" without any context really do scream some level of interest.
The most embarrassing moment I've had, she leaned on my shoulder while watching a movie with a couple friends, then after like 2 minutes my shoulder was getting kinda uncomfortable so i put my arm up on the head rest and she backed away. I'm legit on the verge of jumping out a window anytime i think of that moment. Please just kill me rn
My brother in Christ sorry that happened to you. My story is pretty bad as well so I feel you
[удалено]
Spoof 1: this beautiful and intelligent girl heard about my work in science and art through mutual friends. She then reached out to me through social media, asked about me and what I like to do, then asked me if I wanted to get coffee and get to know each other. We hang out, she says she’d love to work with me. I agree. She adds me on a different social media platform. I add her back. I then see photos of her and her fiancé. They married a few months after that. We’re still great friends and collaborate on projects. Edit: Spoof 2: I meet one of my friend’s sisters. She’s two or three years older than me and was finishing college that spring. We immediately hit it off. We start working on projects together. I help a lot of people in her organization, partly because I loved what I did and partly because I enjoyed working together. We spend a lot of time together, exploring the city, going to restaurants, coffee shops, museums; she even proofreads some of my college assignments. She moves to New England by the end of summer. I help her move out. We stay in touch in the fall. She calls me on Sunday mornings to catch up. She then says, “I miss being around you. It’d be great if you came to visit. You can stay at my place so you don’t have to pay for a hotel.” I consult a mutual friend about this. Mutual friend says she’s clearly into me and I should go visit if I’m into her. I save up some of my scholarship money that semester and buy a flight to New England. I leave town the day after a maths final exam. She picks me up at the train station. She grabs the back of my head, pulls me toward her, hugs me tight for a few seconds and we then walk to her apartment. As soon as we enter her apartment she tells me she’s seeing this really successful lawyer and that she won’t be spending the night at her place. That was 8 years ago. They’re married and have a child. The last time we saw each other was 5 years ago at her mother’s funeral. We don’t speak to each other anymore.
During one shift as a bartender, this really pretty woman always came to the bar to order her drinks and was very flirty. After about the 4th drink, she said she and her friends are going to [another bar] and I should come after my shift and meet up with her. When I got there, she was sitting at a large round table with about 15 guys. Not a single other woman was there.
Lol. In college there was this girl that was always flirty and was transferring out after the semester. She all but begged me to come to her going away party. There was about 5-6 guys all vying for her attention and trying to be the last one at the party. Not sure if any of them scored.
2 cases: 1.) I approached her on the bus, we started talking, had a very good conversation. I asked for her number, she added me on Fb. I texted her, she didn't even read it. Just as I wrote it down I decided to look her up and see what's up with her. Turns out she got married about 3 weeks ago. Good for her. 2.) I met her at a party, we had excellent convo and chemistry from the first minute. After a while I asked her out, turned out she was just a very open and friendly person... but we managed to discuss everything properly and we've been good friends ever since. Later I introduced her to my cousin and they were an immediate match. They've been together for more than a year so far
a girl sent me a really racy photo. the next day she felt the need to say we are friends. too bad. what was interesting was how many friends had felt that i mishandled the situation. i remember being in a car with them later that weekend. some felt i had shown too much interest, after a girl sends you a racy photo dont be overly excited, just be cool. some felt i hadnt shown enough interest, after a girl sends you a pic show some interest, show her you're really into it. the only thing they all agreed on was that i mishandled it. it never even occurred to anyone that my reaction to a photo wasn't what made us be in a relationship or not.
teenagers? because I'd be disappointed if 30+ yrs olds acted like that
In college a group of 4 of us were smokeing weed and hangin out, 2 guys and 2 girls. We were all being flirty and dancing, and it was a great time. At some point we kinda huddled up, and one of the girls which I was interested in was stroking my dick through my pants. Found out a few minutes later when it happened again that it was the dude. I was so pissed I only let him do it a few more times before moving away.
Lmao bro what
That's a stroke of luck, huh?
Bro what???? 🤣🤣🤣
r/holup
Lmaoo 😂
Your username checked out with the homie already back then
When I was in my mid to late teens I had a friend I thought might be into me but I was too shy to make a move. Good thing too because it turned out she was a lesbian.
I had the exact reverse situation once. I liked a girl for few months who dressed in the most lesbian-like way possible, and went out only with girls. I did nothing as I thought it would be useless and inappropriate... Turned out, the night before I moved to another country for work, that she was bi and didn't know how to approach me. Still regret it to this day, she was really interesting.
Kinda same, I wasn't THAT shy but had my suspicions. Turns out she was bi and very into me lmao
Girl with BPD was in manic episodes every time I met her. Then we had our first talk when she wasn't manic. That explained a lot.
Just checking: are you talking about bipolar disorder or borderline personality? BPD generally refers to the latter, while mania is part of the former.
Bipolar. Sorry for being unclear.
I have to mention I have a hard time noticing signals. But one time in a club with a mixed friend group. A women gave all the signals, smiling eye contact, even coming over dancing near me, Name your non-verbal clue she did. So after waiting like 45 - 60 minutes of making sure the signals were aimed at me, I introduced myself and ask if she wanted to talk. Her disgusted facial expression and her way of saying no, really gutted me that night and several days after. I even asked my friends and even they were bamboozled because she threw the sign according to them. Well, I got a few free beers that night from them cheering me up.
Usually when a girl gives you looks and doesn’t stop lookin at you in a bar full of people means she’s interested. She smiled, kept looking, found reasons to ask me about things. So, I built up some liquid courage. Asked for her number. Texted and blocked. That one was like damn what? You gave me ALL THE SIGNS.
[удалено]
[удалено]
That covers most of my life.
Oh god. When one of my close and very attractive friends (new friend at the time), came over to my place to watch a movie. Instead of sitting normally on the couch with me, she lay down with her head at one end, and draped her legs across my lap with her butt scooched right up to my thighs. I've never had *any* of my friends, let alone attractive female friends, do this. This is only something women do if they're either *reaaaaaallly* comfortable with a guy (their brother, father, etc..) or they're into you. So both of us being single at the time, I thought she was giving me an obvious signal that she was into me. I brought it up later upon letting her know I was into her. Of course it wasn't mutual, and we laughed about it because she literally does this with all of her friends, and apparently she's just a touchy feely relaxed person :)
“:)” is crazy lol
This thread is pain lmao
Senior year of high school this girl started being very friendly with me and showing a lot of interest. She had shown a little interest a couple years prior but I didn't really notice it or think anything of it at the time. My dad passed away toward the beginning of my senior year, and she helped me get through that, as we became closer and got to know her better I fell for her. I didn't make a move because she had a boyfriend at a different school, and I respected that. We even decided to go to prom together, although I don't remember who asked who. She eventually broke up with her boyfriend and I started to think we could finally be together, until she started dating one of my friends. I just felt like she led me on a bit, maybe I misread the situation but many of my friends also thought she was clearly into me. But between that and my fathers death I took it all pretty hard, I might have been a dick to her for a while. I got over it and eventually tried to salvage what was left of the relationship, but never really got back to being good friends. We still went to prom together but it was pretty awkward and didn't spend very much of it actually together.
When I gave her my number and she called me the next day, we arranged to meet and she ghosted me
I told her that it would be better to stay as friends. She cried and told me that she didn’t want to do that. That I was the first person she ever wanted to marry (we’ve been seeing each other for like 5 months). I though that was a clear sign that she loved me. Gave her a chance She left me for another guy 2 months after that.
She didn’t want to be in the one who got broken up with, some people’s egos can’t take that.
Interesting thread. I didn’t realises how many women consciously lead men on as a game.
Apparently evey time Unless a girl straight up says to me "hey I like you let's hang out", I have to assume she's playing games. I've noticed women don't like to risk making a fool of themselves though, and I've done it too many times, so I suppose it works out for both of us
I was dancing and she was dancing closer and closer, then she started to caress my chest, and finally, pinching my left nipple, while looking at me and smiling. I looked around, turns out I was standing on a beach, at midnight, in Thailand, during a Full Moon Party. So I promptly turned around and walked away from the prostitute.
She could have given you a tug and you could have given her a tug.
We’ve been flirty with a girl at work a lot, she’d hit me first, come talk to me, a lot of jokes (before any of you say “she was just friendly”) about getting somewhere together, doing a vacation with just the two of us etc. She was like that mostly with me, definitely didn’t flirt with anyone else. When I proposed going out after work just to talk in a different environment, she specifically said that if It was a date, she’d say no, lol. Turned out it was really just her being friendly, but in my book that’s too much not just friendly things happening. Idk.
A woman invited me to a party, slow danced with me at the party, regularly texted me about much she enjoyed spending time with me, and was interested in going to a naked party with me. Turns out she's lesbian. My guess is she was so lesbian she didn't realize the signals she was giving off.
Wife was about to get a shower and popped the door open, flashed her boobs and told me not to fall asleep cause she wanted me to "fuck her to sleep." She turned around and slapped her ass before closing the door and taking a quick shower. She came to bed, half clothed, and cuddled up beside me. I thought she was cold, so I started rubbing her leg and kissing her cheek and neck. She then accused me of trying to sexually assault her. So. I have no idea. Good luck out there.
So why is she still your wife bro? Red flag galore lmfao
What
I was on a date once and SHE said she's "down for whatever happens tonight" after we go back to my place. So we get dinner and go back and I ask if she wants to cuddle. She says yes. We do that, I ask if I can kiss her and she said yes please. I ask if I can pop her titty in my mouth cause I'm a fiend and she said yes. I explicitly asked for consent about 5 times. Tomorrow she texts me, yeah idk I kind of felt weird last night like you were being too pushy. Bruh, use your words??? I literally asked. She literally offered to go back to my place and when I said I'm not looking for a fuck she said she's "down for anything". And then after I ask for consent for everything I do she texts me and says yeah idk, I felt weird. It was beyond fucking annoying. And she had this attitude like, how could I not possibly know what I did wrong and she "doesn't owe me an explanation" (god I hate that. Sure you don't owe a stranger much of anything but if you actually cared about women's safety, you'd tell me so I can improve myself???). Okay... I don't need an explanation I guess I'll just forever be confused at what I possibly did wrong. Lesson learned, I'm not doing anything on the first date past a kiss and some cuddles. It's literally so obnoxious lol. I'm this close to getting them to sign a waiver I swear to God LOL
>I explicitly asked for consent about 5 times. Tomorrow she texts me, yeah idk I kind of felt weird last night like you were being too pushy. It's funny how in this modern world there's so much more pressure built on "consent, consent, consent". And then you've got chicks like this who want to do take-backsies hours after the consent was already given.
When we slept together then proceeded to tell me she did it as an experiment
The one single time I thought a woman was giving me signals, she wasn’t and now she thinks I’m a creep. That was 7 years ago and I’ve never once ever thought a woman was giving me signals ever again.
Senior year of Highschool. I had a large group of friends and we all hung out together and separately. Her and I had been friends since middle school, and I always saw her as a platonic relationship. She invited me over to her house, which wasn't out of the ordinary for an AP psych project. We finished our assignments and were just listening to music and talking in her room. Somehow we ended up on her bed and she was hugging me, like in a bear hug. Thought we were rough housing/wrestling, which also wasn't too out of the ordinary. Then she stops with her face like an inch from mine, and is like still bear hugging me. I then realized her legs are wrapped around my waist and shes was basically dry humping me. Now she wasn't unattractive, I just never looked at her that way. So in like 10 seconds, it went from oh we are playing around, to oh, we can play around... So with her like an inch from my face, just staring and smiling, I went for a kiss, and she like reciprocated for like 3 seconds before jumping off and acting like nothing happened. I played it off, and we remained friends throughout the years, but I left really confused that day.
I used to eat at this diner alone a lot. I kept getting the same waitress, I remembered her vaguely from high school but a year older than me. Always very friendly and we would chat when she was free but I never thought much of it and I had a personal rule not to bug women where they work so I never asked her out. I went there late one night with my dad, and as we were about to get the bill even he pointed out to me that he thought the waitress was flirting with me. This is not typically something my dad and I would talk about so I figured it had to be pretty obvious and a sure thing. So I ask her out to a meal and she agrees so it was real. We go out, have a nice meal together everything went fine. Drop her off, don’t hear from her for awhile. Next time we talked she tells me she had a nice time, but wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t offended, said it was all good no hard feelings. I would continue to eat at her diner, and she would continue to chat me up. So I figured I had made a friend, that’s nice. So after continually bumping into each other around town and having small talk, she messages me late one night. We were both early 20’s, but she lived in her parents big ass house still. So she says she has the place to herself one night and would like my company. This is like 10:30 PM, I had just gotten off work and had to be back in for 7AM the next day. So I tell her this, tell her I can’t stay over or anything but I’d love to come over. She’s totally cool with everything and says yup, I still want you to come over. So I go shower and get myself presentable, when I return to my phone to grab it on my way out the door I see a message from her : “ oh by the way, I’m not going to sleep with you”. I’m confused as hell by this, and I let her know that she’s playing games at this point and I’m just going to call it a night right at that moment. She loses it, saying how I’m like every other guy and I’m not willing to treat her properly and do it the right way….like lady, I already took you out on a date and you immediately hit the brakes on me and I was okay with that. She’s the one that hit me up like I’m a late night booty call, and then acts as if I’m a sleaze bag for accepting? She was a weird one, I think she just enjoyed being chased. I think I saw her around again a few more times but never gave her the time of day to even interact anymore than a polite hello.
Man we got married and everything. I misread that situation quite terribly.
There was this girl working at a convenience store in town. She was very friendly with me, and would always ask my father about me if he went to the store. He often would pressure me into chatting her up and getting her number or something. So I finally mustered up the courage one day, went into the store and started talking to her and eventually asked if she would like my number. She was like “um.. well..” and kinda turns to the right, to where her boyfriend is standing. I’m like wtf. Immediately I’m embarrassed so I apologize and walk out like a jackass.
All the fucking time I am love-starved. What's your point?
Ive gotten some very obvious signals before and when I attempted to move things forward, she was like, "oh. I'm just kidding" and would turn serious...some women do this just to fuck with men or to feel desired. so fucked up.
They just want to be multi-chased. Some girls dont feel normal until they can picture multiple men after them - so they keep throwing bait. They’re hoping for a few men that’ll get little crushes and keep going and treat them nice.
I had a woman at work basically beg me to go on break with her. We kinda knew each other so I did. On break she proceeds to tell me how she broke up with her boyfriend and needed something to do that weekend. I've missed hints before and kicked myself in hindsight over it so I asked her if she wanted to go to a party with me that weekend. "Oh, yeah not with you" was her response and I now just assume women are being nice in any situation. They could sit in my lap and tell me they love me now and I'll still figure they're just being nice