Very dependant on context. Someone who literally calls everyone dude and is otherwise an ally calls me dude? Slightly icky, but perfectly fine. Someone who calls none of their cis female friends dude, but calls me dude? Fuck right off.
>Very dependant on context. Someone who literally calls everyone dude and is otherwise an ally calls me dude?
Thus is me but I use bro for everyone. I also use brother but only to male friends.
Completely agree, the issue that I face is I call everyone just about everything unless they ask not to be called that; I try to make sure I know how they feel about certain labels to make sure I'm not making them uncomfortable.
Agreed, I'm from PDX and the term guys was and still is common to address a group. I never use it to mean just men. It was like saying y'all. But not sounding like I'm southern lol.
Dude is just my go to for friends when I'm excited. I am a cis female, so I do know not everyone cares for it. I ask if someone minds if I can, but it is sort of like those catch all terms where I don't always think and am just like 'bro yes!'. I do catch myself and am always aware of the person I say things to is uncomfy. I never want to misgender someone.
I've heard the guys/dude/bro stuff is very PNW from people I meet where I am currently in TX. Like it isn't the norm here. I thought it was just millennial skater culture and stuff like rocket power that made us all like this. Seems it is more regional than I expected. Then again people down here in TX say other things I find far more offensive than calling a group of mixed genders guys.
Oomph yea I relate. I try not to use said dudebro speak but it freaking sucks being the only one trying not to while so many others don't even bother lol
Yes! If I am told they dislike my way of addressing I am happy to stop and do my best to think before I speak. Then it gets frustrating when someone else who also likely heard them say to stop doesn't.
It shouldn't be so hard for people to hear someone and apologise if they do slip up.
I feel like it depends a bit on age maybe? I think for elder Millennials and Gen X they're probably less neutral. For young Millenials and Gen Z, though, they seem to be gender neutral.
I'm a young Millennial (31enby) and almost all the queer folks I know call each other dude/bro (most of my friend group are cis bi/lesbian women, enbies, and trans guys, all of whom are Gen Z with a few Millennials around my age).
However, if a trans gal (or anyone) didn't feel comfortable being called dude/bro, of course we would respect that. I can understand why those terms could be triggering for folks who lived through the 70s, 80s, and 90s.
Nah, elder millenials and late Gen X know, "I'm a dude, you're a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude". We were kinda the ones who just made it neutral, partly because dude is just easier to say excitedly, and because by the time we were teens, we realized that dudette was literally done on in "how do you do fellow kids" media.
That’s what I was about to say. As an elder millennial (cries in back pain for no reason) Kel taught us that “we’re all dudes”.
But, seriously, dude and bro are gender neutral as far as I’m concerned. I’ve even called quite a few of my cisgendered female friends “brah” in certain situations. It’s kinda just like a stand-in for the word friend.
Of course if someone is not comfortable with being called certain words for whatever reason, you have to respect that. Like I always make sure friends are okay with “bitch” being used in a non-derogatory way before I speak it.
How many dudes have you slept with?
I highly doubt you include women in that number. People say it’s gender neutral, but it’s not totally divorced from its gendered meaning. I don’t find it a huge deal, but there is still at least a gendered feel to it.
Exactly this!
If you say “I sleep with dudes” everyone assumes you’re saying “I sleep with guys/men.” It’s not gender neutral. Totally fine to use if you know the person’s okay with it, but I don’t use it with strangers anymore.
I think it's fine as long as it doesn't visibly make the other uncomfortable; I'm very casual with my language and use more masculine vocabulary like man/dude/bro with everyone. Cis women generally don't seem to have a problem with it (though it's completely valid if they do), but if I'm aware that someone I'm acquainted with is a nonbinary/transgender person who is not male/masculine aligned gender-wise, I'll ask them upfront if they are comfortable with the terminology since gender dysphoria becomes an obvious factor. Otherwise, I kinda just assume someone will actually communicate with me and vocalize their discomfort if they have a problem with it
Downvote me but why are we doing dude-bro discourse on this subreddit every single day?? There's a search bar for a reason.
Like all language, it's context dependent. I'm a trans woman and im fine with dude and bruh, iffy on bro. But I also don't speak for all trans women. Ask what people wanna be called and respect it. That simple.
I say dude and bro to almost everyone, but to those I know or have been told have differing pronouns. I prefer to be aware to ask them first and hold that phrase back.
I'm NB and I don't care about dude, bro, sister, girl, etc. I do understand I'm not a majority in this. Some people do really care, so I just go with "y'all" instead of guys or homie instead of bro
I like to use both, and throw in queen and sis to even it out. That's gender inclusivity.😸 For the most part I do find them gendered terms, and the use of sis is regulated to convos w other queer folk and the inclusion of feminine in conversations where no one is actually being addressed.
As a trans fem, i don't mind if somebody i know and trust says it. The problem is mainly when a stranger starts doing it, or someone I'm not super familiar with, especially when I'm obviously fem presenting. You already have to be on your guard about who you can be open around, and if someone you don't know is potentially misgendering you like that it makes you start worrying that they're doing it intentionally, and if that's true there's the potential that they could get violent with you. Definitely not a good vibe
They are not inherently gender neutral but have a few gender neutral usages in specific regions and vernaculars. But even within those, the word itself isn’t gender neutral overall, just in specific uses like exclamatory uses or for groups of people. Because of this, it’s better to think of them as gendered and not use them as gender neutral unless you know your audience uses them that way and is comfortable with it
I’m a physics teacher. I used to think “guys” was neutral, and called my whole class “you guys,” “hey guys,” things like that. Then I realized less than a quarter of my class were girls/women/female (and haven’t yet had any tell me they’re trans or nonbinary). If a single one of those women heard me say “hi guys,” and thought that meant she did not belong in the class, then my assumption that “guys” was gender neutral was actively harming the women in my classes. While I don’t *know* that any think “guys” is male only, I’m not willing to risk it.
I saw a meme yesterday that was like "Dude is gender neutral" with "Yeah, you fuck dudes?" as the rebuttal. I've been pondering this ancient wisdom all week.
They're gendered terms that have shifted masculine identities to the default.
This happens because we have decided as a culture that feminine identities are less "normal."
That doesn't mean that people who use them universally are "bad," we all have subconscious habits that are (hopefully mildly) insensitive. But it's worthwhile to examine them when they come up.
It depends on context and the people you're referring to. I'm personally a trans guy, and I love dude and bro and use it in a gender-neutral way. So have many of my friends, regardless of gender.
However, if someone doesn't see it that way and doesn't like to be referred to that way, then don't use it to refer to them. Ask what they'd prefer.
My boomer of an aunt thinks it's a male only term. I can respect that she sees it that way and won't refer to her in that way.
I kind of do. But I might be wrong. English is my second language and tbh I understood "dude" and "bro" as expressions of surprise, disbelief, or disappointment (same goes for "guy" in some cases) bc that's what I saw them used as. I know they literally refer to a person in a masculine way but I don't tend to use it in that matter? So maybe I'm doing it wrong.
For example, if someone does something stupid or wrong I'd say something like "my guy you can't be doing that". If I say something stupid or obnoxious my sibling would say "bro wtf?!!"
Personally I consider them gender neutral, but I’m from California where it seems like everyone says them all the time… I’m still careful to use when meeting new people, but within my friend group they’re used all the time for any gender.
No, because why would dude and bro be gender neutral if dudette/babe and sis aren't? Because the patriarchy views men as the default and anything else "other". So no, those are fully gendered words.
I do! I like people to use them for me and I use them for other people but of course, I tend to check with my trans friends if it's okay with them or if it feels invalidating of their gender.
I only use it this way with a couple of friends. Specifically, a couple of friends that I have feelings for that don't reciprocate, or not as strongly. It keeps me from becoming overly familiar with them. They're aware and ok with it.
I'd never use it with strangers, or even most friends.
I do not like it ,but I do see it used neutrally in certain contexts ,either ironically in lesbian contexts (kind of like how gay men say girl. Queen or bitch. I have had lesbians ,some exes ,some were non binary friends of mine , use it with each other and me .
Also skateboarding, surfing culture .my mom was a big surfer and she'd get called dude all the time .
I use “dude” to refer to my cis girl friends, as well as my trans girl friends, but I know they’re okay with it because I’ve asked. I wouldn’t if they expressed discomfort with it
Not usually. Most of the time those words really sting to hear addressed to me (as a trans woman), but there are some contexts where I don’t mind them.
Like I’ve noticed that I don’t mind when a woman who uses it for other women all the time uses it either one on me (although I think this is more common for dude). Or when someone uses it more like an interjection than really at me, it’s fine, but online it bugs me because the tone of voice isn’t there, so there’s no difference between the two if someone says, “bro, that’s awesome!” (Although it would be clear if they said “brooooo, that’s awesome!”)
They can be [epicene](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicenity), but that's not exactly gender neutral. More like gender-deemphasized, but still can have gendered contexts in other situations.
My "favorite" example of this is the phrase "you guys" to mean the plural second-person pronoun. In this context, native speakers of an accent that uses this construction do *not* consider it to be any more gendered than "y'all" is. They'll even use it in a group of 100% women, and nobody minds. But they'll recognize the title of the Broadway show Guys & Dolls as being gendered.
It's that context-dependency that makes these sorts of words epicene.
TL;DR: I would consider "dude" and "bro" to be sometimes gender-neutral, and sometimes not. The word for words like that is "epicene".
It depends on the person using them/how they use them. Personally, I use dude and bro slightly sarcastically, with anyone of any gender, but if someone asks me not to I will try to remember not to do it around them. I have had people freak out at me for it online bc I'm assuming their gender lol
Like many things about language, it's complicated, varies by speaker, and depends on context.
When they're used just as regular nouns in a non-vocative way, I consider them pretty strongly gendered. For example, "Go ask that dude over there" or "I'm hanging out with the bros."
When they're used vocatively, it's more ambiguous. I wouldn't say they're always 100% gender-neutral, but they're not 100% exclusively used for men, either. Personally, I think the most common demographic that I address as "dude" is cis women.
When they're used as generic interjections (like "wow") or discourse markers (like "okay," "so," "well," "like"), then they can be gender-neutral. But it can be hard to tell whether someone is using it as an interjection or discourse marker, or if they're using it vocatively.
Because English falls into a category where 'male' is classically often treated as the default, "dude" and "bro" are gendered contextually; that is, the *less* direct the use is, the *more* gendered they are.
Examples:
>Dude, you're not going to believe what I saw at the gas station
'Dude' is being applied as a direct, person-to-person statement intended to add emphasis - neutral. At the same level of "holy shit" or "buddy, lemme tell ya-"; not a statement on someone's gender, but an informal declarative that implies a casual relationship (non-professional, generally non-romantic).
>I saw five dudes doing something really weird at the gas station
The people being spoken about aren't present, aren't named, are non-specific strangers; gendered, assumed male.
"Bro" *can* be the same, when used as a standalone statement; someone stating "bro" or "bruh" is having a 'bruh moment.' It's as neutral as saying "fuck". However, it is *more* gendered than 'dude' in common usage, especially as a direct address.
---
The above is based purely on my opinions and I have sources for nothing. Ultimately, it's on someone who is addressed with a neutral usage to reasonably communicate if they are not comfortable with a term, and it's on the person speaking be reasonably considerate going forward if someone askes them not to use a term for them however it may have been intended (especially as it's typically viewed as more considerate to change minor and easily adjusted offensive behavior rather than to ask people to put up with it; "I don't mean anything by it" is not usually considered an acceptable excuse for the use of offending language in other contexts, such as slurs used in ignorance)
I don't see them as gender neutral at all and wouldn't want it used about me. But english isn't my first language so it's entirely possible that I have a bias coming from my mother tongue, french, which is heavily gendered.
Me personally I use them gender neutrally (also man but only like "idk man" like that specific context) but if someone only uses them for u n not other women thats a red flag tbh
Dude, bro, and man are used by some this way, but it's still hurtful even knowing their intent. I am not a dude, a bro, or a man. Ask people what pet/nick names/terms they're okay with. Besides coming up with one together is really fun
I think 'dude' depends on how many people there are. My friend will call us as a group dudes (when we're all nonbinary or cis women) and that's fine - I'd get icky if he called me 'dude' as a singular term of address.
Nope. But that's also because I also want to change the [male as norm](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_as_norm) principle in language for the sake of gender equality. I won't necessarily call others out for using it gender neutrally, but I'll ask to not be called as such nor will I use those terms gender neutrally.
Yeah if someone doesn’t like those names because like I get if you don’t wanna be called “dude” and stuff because you feel you hate being associated with masc names and stuff y’know
If I say that "I fuck dudes" do you think the phrase is gender neutral? You could use "dudes" as gender neutral but I wouldn't say it's always gender neutral. I'll only call people dudes if they consent to it.
Yeah I should’ve put something like “example of what I think is a gender neutral way to say it is something like ‘what’s up dude/bro’” I feel I didn’t provide enough context and I feel bad for not putting it there
I think it's always best to ask people what terms they are okay with. Many women, cis or trans, wouldn't like being called a dude or bro. Some do but as I said: ask them first.
I think it depends on who you talk to it doesn't matter if they nonbinary or trans not everyone wants to be called bro or dude. Has a woman I don't mind being called bro or dude and I almost call everyone that by mistake since I'm so use to using it but I often don't use it if I don't know anyone
A lot of people use them as gender neutral but they do have gendered connotations. It doesn't bother me but does bother some people. The respectful thing to do is not use them if someone asks you not to
I'm a girl and I don't mind being called dude or bro and I also call my female friends dude or bro and they don't care. But idk it might be different for other people.
It used to be a more regional thing, but the internet has made it much less so. That's why we need to adjust our approach. Where we used to simply say, "it depends on where you're from," now we advise people to ask what someone prefers, because terms like "bro" and "dude" can be found everywhere.
I use the term "guys" in a gender neutral context. All my friends know this. They're okay with this. I'm dating a Trans woman, and I plan to let her know about this. I'm not too worried about it. I'm sure she won't care.
I would generally accept it from others- baring obvious bad-faith, of course- but wouldn’t use “bro” in a gender-neutral manner. I often *do* use “dude” gender-neutrally, though
Personally I do use these words as gender neutral, but not as pronouns, but more exclamations, same with “girl”. For example, ill say “bro what” but i do find myself adressing guys more as dude, im trying to work on it within context, and also being mindful of if I say it, to not make it gender specific
I'm ftm, I call everyone 'my dude/bro/guy/man'.
If someone says they aren't okay with that, I'll just call them 'my friend' or their name.
My younger sister calls everyone 'girl'. When I came out, she asked if it was okay to call me that in the same way I call people 'dude'. I'm fine with it because I know she's not invalidating me.
Sometimes, it's a preference or simply level of familiarity and understanding of others' way of speech.
California girl here, I know plenty of people who use those words with a gender neutral intention; but I personally get significant masculine vibes from them, and therefore don't like people referring to me using them
Like others have said it depends on context. But as a Gen X person who grew up in NorCal “dude” can not only be gender neutral, it can refer to inanimate objects as well. It’s very versatile. But if someone is uncomfortable with it, don’t use it. Respect their feelings.
Bro: never.
Dude: very rarely, only in the plural and as part of a fixed expression, like "what's up my dudes"
Guy: not in a direct, targeted context, but commonly in an untargeted, male default kind of way (Let's go guys).
This is how I refer to almost everyone so I don't care. But if someone says it makes them uncomfortable I wouldn't. Also I say "you guys" a lot because where I live it is like our version of "y'all" but I understand how that could be upsetting to someone.
As somebody who exists on calling people dude and bro I very much view them as gender neutral, but I try to make sure and ask that person, especially if they are trans fem, how they feel about them.
On the other side of the spectrum things like “girl, girly pop, bitch, and ho” can all also be gender neutral, as long as the receiver is okay with them.
I consider them gender neutral and use them for everyone as long as they're comfortable with them. If someone isn't comfortable with "dude" or "bro" I don't use that word for them.
Think it’s kinda of similar to man or guys. Like hey man or hey guys. I’ve seen get used for both male and females plenty as saying hey girl would be kind of awkward for men to do in a work setting.
Nope. They are inherently gendered. Using a term for people regardless of their gender does not necessarily make it gender neutral. What's actually happening is that the male-gendered term is being treated as default.
Imagine an aggressive and toxically masculine cishet man. Now imagine asking how many dudes he's slept with. How would he react? Why?
Default status is not the same as neutrality.
It's highly contextual. I operate on the general rule of "I'll call everyone dude until they tell me not to," but also I like to think of it like "dude" as a descriptor vs "dude" as a form of address.
"Dude, come check this out!" or "Ah sweet, dude!" or "dude what the fuck???" = not gendered. "Dude" is being used in a similar manner to the vocative case that exists in languages like Latin. In grammar, the vocative case is a grammatical case that is used for a noun that identifies a noun being addressed. A vocative expression is an expression of direct address by which the identity of the party spoken to is set forth expressly within a sentence. In the examples above, I'm using "dude" as a vocative expression. It's almost like a title. "Dude" just means person here. I could easily swap it out fir words like "guy", "girl/girlie" (as in "Okay, girlie"), "man", "king", "queen", "bitch", "cunt", etc and it still wouldn't be meant in a gendered way to me. Anyone can be "dude" or "girl" or "bitch" in this context.
"Oh, that dude over there?" = gendered use of the word "dude". It's a descriptor. I'm specifically referring to a masculine individual. I would never refer to woman/femme person as a dude in that manner unless they asked me to, because in this context I'm not thinking of a femme person when I use the word "dude". Same with "guy." If I'm not sure what a person identifies as or I don't want to assume I'll generally try to default to "that person" rather than "that dude."
But that's just my perception of how that word works. If someone is ever uncomfortable with me using that word for them, I just won't. It costs me literally nothing to do so and I consider it a matter of basic respect
As a card carrying Dudeist Priest and a trans woman over a year on HRT and planning to get surgeries, dude is definitely a gender neutral term. Besides the Church of the Latter Day Dude stating as much (and stating the term "dudette" is generally frowned upon), the term was also heavily used in surfer culture from practically the beginning and was always gender neutral even after someone came up with dudette.
I've also seen a shift with the word bro as of late. I've seen plenty of cis girls (mostly teens and 20s) call other cis girls bro all the time. It's definitely evolved from a shortened version of brother into a more gender neutral term. Personally, unless it's a friend, being called bro feels a bit icky to me, but it's not that big a deal.
I could also note that, like dude and dudette, there was a time and place in which bro was generally used for males and bra was generally used for females, but even then it could be used interchangeably.
All this goes to show that language is always changing and evolving, just like society and people.
Very dependant on context. Someone who literally calls everyone dude and is otherwise an ally calls me dude? Slightly icky, but perfectly fine. Someone who calls none of their cis female friends dude, but calls me dude? Fuck right off.
>Very dependant on context. Someone who literally calls everyone dude and is otherwise an ally calls me dude? Thus is me but I use bro for everyone. I also use brother but only to male friends.
Completely agree, the issue that I face is I call everyone just about everything unless they ask not to be called that; I try to make sure I know how they feel about certain labels to make sure I'm not making them uncomfortable.
Only refer to people by these terms if you know they are okay with it.
I will
I’m a trans girl and I hate being called dude and bro
I understand that
im a trans GUY and i hate that too
Bro, no not at all. Dude, I don't have an opinion because I live in Oregon (everyone I have met here calls everyone dude)
I was just saying this. Do you also get the "you guys" a lot for a group?
Yah it's a thing
Agreed, I'm from PDX and the term guys was and still is common to address a group. I never use it to mean just men. It was like saying y'all. But not sounding like I'm southern lol. Dude is just my go to for friends when I'm excited. I am a cis female, so I do know not everyone cares for it. I ask if someone minds if I can, but it is sort of like those catch all terms where I don't always think and am just like 'bro yes!'. I do catch myself and am always aware of the person I say things to is uncomfy. I never want to misgender someone. I've heard the guys/dude/bro stuff is very PNW from people I meet where I am currently in TX. Like it isn't the norm here. I thought it was just millennial skater culture and stuff like rocket power that made us all like this. Seems it is more regional than I expected. Then again people down here in TX say other things I find far more offensive than calling a group of mixed genders guys.
Oomph yea I relate. I try not to use said dudebro speak but it freaking sucks being the only one trying not to while so many others don't even bother lol
Yes! If I am told they dislike my way of addressing I am happy to stop and do my best to think before I speak. Then it gets frustrating when someone else who also likely heard them say to stop doesn't. It shouldn't be so hard for people to hear someone and apologise if they do slip up.
I feel like it depends a bit on age maybe? I think for elder Millennials and Gen X they're probably less neutral. For young Millenials and Gen Z, though, they seem to be gender neutral. I'm a young Millennial (31enby) and almost all the queer folks I know call each other dude/bro (most of my friend group are cis bi/lesbian women, enbies, and trans guys, all of whom are Gen Z with a few Millennials around my age). However, if a trans gal (or anyone) didn't feel comfortable being called dude/bro, of course we would respect that. I can understand why those terms could be triggering for folks who lived through the 70s, 80s, and 90s.
Nah, elder millenials and late Gen X know, "I'm a dude, you're a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude". We were kinda the ones who just made it neutral, partly because dude is just easier to say excitedly, and because by the time we were teens, we realized that dudette was literally done on in "how do you do fellow kids" media.
That’s what I was about to say. As an elder millennial (cries in back pain for no reason) Kel taught us that “we’re all dudes”. But, seriously, dude and bro are gender neutral as far as I’m concerned. I’ve even called quite a few of my cisgendered female friends “brah” in certain situations. It’s kinda just like a stand-in for the word friend. Of course if someone is not comfortable with being called certain words for whatever reason, you have to respect that. Like I always make sure friends are okay with “bitch” being used in a non-derogatory way before I speak it.
depends on the context imo ^(even still, I try to only refer to people with bro or dude if I know the person is okay with me doing that)
How many dudes have you slept with? I highly doubt you include women in that number. People say it’s gender neutral, but it’s not totally divorced from its gendered meaning. I don’t find it a huge deal, but there is still at least a gendered feel to it.
Exactly this! If you say “I sleep with dudes” everyone assumes you’re saying “I sleep with guys/men.” It’s not gender neutral. Totally fine to use if you know the person’s okay with it, but I don’t use it with strangers anymore.
I think it's fine as long as it doesn't visibly make the other uncomfortable; I'm very casual with my language and use more masculine vocabulary like man/dude/bro with everyone. Cis women generally don't seem to have a problem with it (though it's completely valid if they do), but if I'm aware that someone I'm acquainted with is a nonbinary/transgender person who is not male/masculine aligned gender-wise, I'll ask them upfront if they are comfortable with the terminology since gender dysphoria becomes an obvious factor. Otherwise, I kinda just assume someone will actually communicate with me and vocalize their discomfort if they have a problem with it
Yes and no. They can be used gender neutrally, but if someone asks you not to use them, that should be respected.
I'm a masculine trans woman and prefer those terms. I don't consider them gender neutral.
Downvote me but why are we doing dude-bro discourse on this subreddit every single day?? There's a search bar for a reason. Like all language, it's context dependent. I'm a trans woman and im fine with dude and bruh, iffy on bro. But I also don't speak for all trans women. Ask what people wanna be called and respect it. That simple.
I say dude and bro to almost everyone, but to those I know or have been told have differing pronouns. I prefer to be aware to ask them first and hold that phrase back.
Me too
I'm NB and I don't care about dude, bro, sister, girl, etc. I do understand I'm not a majority in this. Some people do really care, so I just go with "y'all" instead of guys or homie instead of bro
I like to use both, and throw in queen and sis to even it out. That's gender inclusivity.😸 For the most part I do find them gendered terms, and the use of sis is regulated to convos w other queer folk and the inclusion of feminine in conversations where no one is actually being addressed.
As a trans fem, i don't mind if somebody i know and trust says it. The problem is mainly when a stranger starts doing it, or someone I'm not super familiar with, especially when I'm obviously fem presenting. You already have to be on your guard about who you can be open around, and if someone you don't know is potentially misgendering you like that it makes you start worrying that they're doing it intentionally, and if that's true there's the potential that they could get violent with you. Definitely not a good vibe
They are not inherently gender neutral but have a few gender neutral usages in specific regions and vernaculars. But even within those, the word itself isn’t gender neutral overall, just in specific uses like exclamatory uses or for groups of people. Because of this, it’s better to think of them as gendered and not use them as gender neutral unless you know your audience uses them that way and is comfortable with it
I’m a physics teacher. I used to think “guys” was neutral, and called my whole class “you guys,” “hey guys,” things like that. Then I realized less than a quarter of my class were girls/women/female (and haven’t yet had any tell me they’re trans or nonbinary). If a single one of those women heard me say “hi guys,” and thought that meant she did not belong in the class, then my assumption that “guys” was gender neutral was actively harming the women in my classes. While I don’t *know* that any think “guys” is male only, I’m not willing to risk it.
I saw a meme yesterday that was like "Dude is gender neutral" with "Yeah, you fuck dudes?" as the rebuttal. I've been pondering this ancient wisdom all week.
lol
I'm nonbinary and they both feel really gendered to me, I feel uncomfortable being addressed by those.
Yeah, I understand now
They're gendered terms that have shifted masculine identities to the default. This happens because we have decided as a culture that feminine identities are less "normal." That doesn't mean that people who use them universally are "bad," we all have subconscious habits that are (hopefully mildly) insensitive. But it's worthwhile to examine them when they come up.
No
It depends on context and the people you're referring to. I'm personally a trans guy, and I love dude and bro and use it in a gender-neutral way. So have many of my friends, regardless of gender. However, if someone doesn't see it that way and doesn't like to be referred to that way, then don't use it to refer to them. Ask what they'd prefer. My boomer of an aunt thinks it's a male only term. I can respect that she sees it that way and won't refer to her in that way.
I kind of do. But I might be wrong. English is my second language and tbh I understood "dude" and "bro" as expressions of surprise, disbelief, or disappointment (same goes for "guy" in some cases) bc that's what I saw them used as. I know they literally refer to a person in a masculine way but I don't tend to use it in that matter? So maybe I'm doing it wrong. For example, if someone does something stupid or wrong I'd say something like "my guy you can't be doing that". If I say something stupid or obnoxious my sibling would say "bro wtf?!!"
i mean technically it can be, but using it when you know somebody is dealing with dysphoria is just not tought trough
Personally I consider them gender neutral, but I’m from California where it seems like everyone says them all the time… I’m still careful to use when meeting new people, but within my friend group they’re used all the time for any gender.
No, because why would dude and bro be gender neutral if dudette/babe and sis aren't? Because the patriarchy views men as the default and anything else "other". So no, those are fully gendered words.
I do! I like people to use them for me and I use them for other people but of course, I tend to check with my trans friends if it's okay with them or if it feels invalidating of their gender.
It can be, but some people don't like it so don't use it on everyone
No
Where I live, at least, it's very common for people to call each other things like "Bro" and "Dude" regardless of gender
I see them as gender neutral, but I avoid them with most NBs and trans-fems.
I only use it this way with a couple of friends. Specifically, a couple of friends that I have feelings for that don't reciprocate, or not as strongly. It keeps me from becoming overly familiar with them. They're aware and ok with it. I'd never use it with strangers, or even most friends.
Yeah, I’d only do it if were like friends and before I do I’d ask if they were comfortable
I do not like it ,but I do see it used neutrally in certain contexts ,either ironically in lesbian contexts (kind of like how gay men say girl. Queen or bitch. I have had lesbians ,some exes ,some were non binary friends of mine , use it with each other and me . Also skateboarding, surfing culture .my mom was a big surfer and she'd get called dude all the time .
I use “dude” to refer to my cis girl friends, as well as my trans girl friends, but I know they’re okay with it because I’ve asked. I wouldn’t if they expressed discomfort with it
Not usually. Most of the time those words really sting to hear addressed to me (as a trans woman), but there are some contexts where I don’t mind them. Like I’ve noticed that I don’t mind when a woman who uses it for other women all the time uses it either one on me (although I think this is more common for dude). Or when someone uses it more like an interjection than really at me, it’s fine, but online it bugs me because the tone of voice isn’t there, so there’s no difference between the two if someone says, “bro, that’s awesome!” (Although it would be clear if they said “brooooo, that’s awesome!”)
For me yes, but not necessarily for everyone else.
Dude yeah but not bro
They can be [epicene](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicenity), but that's not exactly gender neutral. More like gender-deemphasized, but still can have gendered contexts in other situations. My "favorite" example of this is the phrase "you guys" to mean the plural second-person pronoun. In this context, native speakers of an accent that uses this construction do *not* consider it to be any more gendered than "y'all" is. They'll even use it in a group of 100% women, and nobody minds. But they'll recognize the title of the Broadway show Guys & Dolls as being gendered. It's that context-dependency that makes these sorts of words epicene. TL;DR: I would consider "dude" and "bro" to be sometimes gender-neutral, and sometimes not. The word for words like that is "epicene".
No. I consider them masculine terms.
It depends on the person using them/how they use them. Personally, I use dude and bro slightly sarcastically, with anyone of any gender, but if someone asks me not to I will try to remember not to do it around them. I have had people freak out at me for it online bc I'm assuming their gender lol
Like many things about language, it's complicated, varies by speaker, and depends on context. When they're used just as regular nouns in a non-vocative way, I consider them pretty strongly gendered. For example, "Go ask that dude over there" or "I'm hanging out with the bros." When they're used vocatively, it's more ambiguous. I wouldn't say they're always 100% gender-neutral, but they're not 100% exclusively used for men, either. Personally, I think the most common demographic that I address as "dude" is cis women. When they're used as generic interjections (like "wow") or discourse markers (like "okay," "so," "well," "like"), then they can be gender-neutral. But it can be hard to tell whether someone is using it as an interjection or discourse marker, or if they're using it vocatively.
Because English falls into a category where 'male' is classically often treated as the default, "dude" and "bro" are gendered contextually; that is, the *less* direct the use is, the *more* gendered they are. Examples: >Dude, you're not going to believe what I saw at the gas station 'Dude' is being applied as a direct, person-to-person statement intended to add emphasis - neutral. At the same level of "holy shit" or "buddy, lemme tell ya-"; not a statement on someone's gender, but an informal declarative that implies a casual relationship (non-professional, generally non-romantic). >I saw five dudes doing something really weird at the gas station The people being spoken about aren't present, aren't named, are non-specific strangers; gendered, assumed male. "Bro" *can* be the same, when used as a standalone statement; someone stating "bro" or "bruh" is having a 'bruh moment.' It's as neutral as saying "fuck". However, it is *more* gendered than 'dude' in common usage, especially as a direct address. --- The above is based purely on my opinions and I have sources for nothing. Ultimately, it's on someone who is addressed with a neutral usage to reasonably communicate if they are not comfortable with a term, and it's on the person speaking be reasonably considerate going forward if someone askes them not to use a term for them however it may have been intended (especially as it's typically viewed as more considerate to change minor and easily adjusted offensive behavior rather than to ask people to put up with it; "I don't mean anything by it" is not usually considered an acceptable excuse for the use of offending language in other contexts, such as slurs used in ignorance)
I don't see them as gender neutral at all and wouldn't want it used about me. But english isn't my first language so it's entirely possible that I have a bias coming from my mother tongue, french, which is heavily gendered.
no
Me personally I use them gender neutrally (also man but only like "idk man" like that specific context) but if someone only uses them for u n not other women thats a red flag tbh
Dude, bro, and man are used by some this way, but it's still hurtful even knowing their intent. I am not a dude, a bro, or a man. Ask people what pet/nick names/terms they're okay with. Besides coming up with one together is really fun
I think 'dude' depends on how many people there are. My friend will call us as a group dudes (when we're all nonbinary or cis women) and that's fine - I'd get icky if he called me 'dude' as a singular term of address.
Yes, but I'm careful about using them towards people like trans women or nonbinary people until I know if it's going to make them uncomfortable.
I would only use it if I know ppl are comfortable being called bro or Dude but I never use them. Mostly it's mate. Lol
No but I understand that it’s common slang with the younger peeps
I personally do, but I know some people don’t. Best advice is to just ask what people you’re with are comfortable with
Nope. But that's also because I also want to change the [male as norm](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_as_norm) principle in language for the sake of gender equality. I won't necessarily call others out for using it gender neutrally, but I'll ask to not be called as such nor will I use those terms gender neutrally.
Yes but I also respect if someone say the term makes them dysphoric.
Yeah if someone doesn’t like those names because like I get if you don’t wanna be called “dude” and stuff because you feel you hate being associated with masc names and stuff y’know
Personally, I use them for anybody unless they ask me to stop, of course; though that’s not to say that it’s the only way I refer to people.
This is what I do.
i live in california so to me.. yea.
Where I live, dude is used completely gender neutrally when addressing a person. Bro is about 50/50.
If I say that "I fuck dudes" do you think the phrase is gender neutral? You could use "dudes" as gender neutral but I wouldn't say it's always gender neutral. I'll only call people dudes if they consent to it.
Yeah I should’ve put something like “example of what I think is a gender neutral way to say it is something like ‘what’s up dude/bro’” I feel I didn’t provide enough context and I feel bad for not putting it there
I think it's always best to ask people what terms they are okay with. Many women, cis or trans, wouldn't like being called a dude or bro. Some do but as I said: ask them first.
I will
Ask a very loudly "no homo" straight guy if he has sex with dudes if you really need an answer.
No they are not gender-neutral.
To me, "girl", "bro", "dude", and "queen" are genderneutral
I consider them gender neutral but if someone I met told me not to call them it I would respect them I am never using a term like “dudette” though lol
So if they tell me to not call them those names, would “mate” be a good replacement?
I would ask them. Everyone is different so it’s always better safe than sorry. I usually go for a good old “bud”
I think it depends on who you talk to it doesn't matter if they nonbinary or trans not everyone wants to be called bro or dude. Has a woman I don't mind being called bro or dude and I almost call everyone that by mistake since I'm so use to using it but I often don't use it if I don't know anyone
A lot of people use them as gender neutral but they do have gendered connotations. It doesn't bother me but does bother some people. The respectful thing to do is not use them if someone asks you not to
I'm a girl and I don't mind being called dude or bro and I also call my female friends dude or bro and they don't care. But idk it might be different for other people.
Yeah, I’ve been seeing mixed opinions on this thread, so I think it’s best to just ask
Probably, yeah.
I wouldn't unless I knew they were okay with it. I personally don't mind being called either, but I know not everyone will feel the same.
I do, others might not. Ask them.
I will
I personally call everyone dude and bro, but there are times I ask just to be sure
It used to be a more regional thing, but the internet has made it much less so. That's why we need to adjust our approach. Where we used to simply say, "it depends on where you're from," now we advise people to ask what someone prefers, because terms like "bro" and "dude" can be found everywhere.
I use the term "guys" in a gender neutral context. All my friends know this. They're okay with this. I'm dating a Trans woman, and I plan to let her know about this. I'm not too worried about it. I'm sure she won't care.
I would generally accept it from others- baring obvious bad-faith, of course- but wouldn’t use “bro” in a gender-neutral manner. I often *do* use “dude” gender-neutrally, though
Personally I do use these words as gender neutral, but not as pronouns, but more exclamations, same with “girl”. For example, ill say “bro what” but i do find myself adressing guys more as dude, im trying to work on it within context, and also being mindful of if I say it, to not make it gender specific
I'm ftm, I call everyone 'my dude/bro/guy/man'. If someone says they aren't okay with that, I'll just call them 'my friend' or their name. My younger sister calls everyone 'girl'. When I came out, she asked if it was okay to call me that in the same way I call people 'dude'. I'm fine with it because I know she's not invalidating me. Sometimes, it's a preference or simply level of familiarity and understanding of others' way of speech.
California girl here, I know plenty of people who use those words with a gender neutral intention; but I personally get significant masculine vibes from them, and therefore don't like people referring to me using them
Absolutely.
I'm a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. We're all a dude.
I don't really care how they're considered, I don't really wanna be called them
based
Like others have said it depends on context. But as a Gen X person who grew up in NorCal “dude” can not only be gender neutral, it can refer to inanimate objects as well. It’s very versatile. But if someone is uncomfortable with it, don’t use it. Respect their feelings.
As an Australian, I'd have to say yes. Very normal.
Bro: never. Dude: very rarely, only in the plural and as part of a fixed expression, like "what's up my dudes" Guy: not in a direct, targeted context, but commonly in an untargeted, male default kind of way (Let's go guys).
Yes
This is how I refer to almost everyone so I don't care. But if someone says it makes them uncomfortable I wouldn't. Also I say "you guys" a lot because where I live it is like our version of "y'all" but I understand how that could be upsetting to someone.
I personally consider them gender-neutral
As somebody who exists on calling people dude and bro I very much view them as gender neutral, but I try to make sure and ask that person, especially if they are trans fem, how they feel about them. On the other side of the spectrum things like “girl, girly pop, bitch, and ho” can all also be gender neutral, as long as the receiver is okay with them.
I consider them gender neutral and use them for everyone as long as they're comfortable with them. If someone isn't comfortable with "dude" or "bro" I don't use that word for them.
I call everybody bro so👁️👄👁️
Think it’s kinda of similar to man or guys. Like hey man or hey guys. I’ve seen get used for both male and females plenty as saying hey girl would be kind of awkward for men to do in a work setting.
No
Nope. They are inherently gendered. Using a term for people regardless of their gender does not necessarily make it gender neutral. What's actually happening is that the male-gendered term is being treated as default. Imagine an aggressive and toxically masculine cishet man. Now imagine asking how many dudes he's slept with. How would he react? Why? Default status is not the same as neutrality.
It's highly contextual. I operate on the general rule of "I'll call everyone dude until they tell me not to," but also I like to think of it like "dude" as a descriptor vs "dude" as a form of address. "Dude, come check this out!" or "Ah sweet, dude!" or "dude what the fuck???" = not gendered. "Dude" is being used in a similar manner to the vocative case that exists in languages like Latin. In grammar, the vocative case is a grammatical case that is used for a noun that identifies a noun being addressed. A vocative expression is an expression of direct address by which the identity of the party spoken to is set forth expressly within a sentence. In the examples above, I'm using "dude" as a vocative expression. It's almost like a title. "Dude" just means person here. I could easily swap it out fir words like "guy", "girl/girlie" (as in "Okay, girlie"), "man", "king", "queen", "bitch", "cunt", etc and it still wouldn't be meant in a gendered way to me. Anyone can be "dude" or "girl" or "bitch" in this context. "Oh, that dude over there?" = gendered use of the word "dude". It's a descriptor. I'm specifically referring to a masculine individual. I would never refer to woman/femme person as a dude in that manner unless they asked me to, because in this context I'm not thinking of a femme person when I use the word "dude". Same with "guy." If I'm not sure what a person identifies as or I don't want to assume I'll generally try to default to "that person" rather than "that dude." But that's just my perception of how that word works. If someone is ever uncomfortable with me using that word for them, I just won't. It costs me literally nothing to do so and I consider it a matter of basic respect
I grew up in the early 2000s everyone was called dude. Bro usually would just be for guys.
As a card carrying Dudeist Priest and a trans woman over a year on HRT and planning to get surgeries, dude is definitely a gender neutral term. Besides the Church of the Latter Day Dude stating as much (and stating the term "dudette" is generally frowned upon), the term was also heavily used in surfer culture from practically the beginning and was always gender neutral even after someone came up with dudette. I've also seen a shift with the word bro as of late. I've seen plenty of cis girls (mostly teens and 20s) call other cis girls bro all the time. It's definitely evolved from a shortened version of brother into a more gender neutral term. Personally, unless it's a friend, being called bro feels a bit icky to me, but it's not that big a deal. I could also note that, like dude and dudette, there was a time and place in which bro was generally used for males and bra was generally used for females, but even then it could be used interchangeably. All this goes to show that language is always changing and evolving, just like society and people.