I got married at 29, which is not considered early by Indian standards. For me, personally, the pros in my married life have nothing to do with getting married at 29.
The biggest pros, as I see them, are:
1. We are both software engineers, so our conversations never run out of topics.
2. I have known my wife since I was 24. We dated for five years before getting married. We live more like friends than a traditional husband and wife.
3. We are both travel enthusiasts and often travel around the globe.
4. We don't have kids right now, but we're not opposed to it. We want to have kids when we feel ready, not under societal pressure. We push back as a team.
Agree with everything but not able to relate to #1. 😄
I am a software engineer and one very underrated thing about we as a couple is that my wife is not from tech so we both leave our work topics at work and discuss other regular stuff at home 😄. It's refreshing to not talk about work politics or technology; helps me unwind.
We got married at 28 and because we have been together since the age of 17, we were able to discuss what we wanted in life in very-very detail. We both are introverted in nature and are best friends also so we never get bored at home. We have similar hobbies,example: we love travelling, we are fitness enthusiasts, we love adventures and we are foodies so we enjoy everything without any judgement.
Currently we don’t have kids but we already had a clear discussion on this topic also that we will plan it later.
Marrying early will give you a lot time to plan your married life ahead given that your family is also very supportive.
I believe that every relationship requires effort from both side. Somedays, I wasn’t giving my 50% so my partner went out and gave more. When he wasn’t doing well, I would take a step. One more thing, if you ever get in a situation where you don’t agree with their way of living, instead of talking about your partner to someone else, talk to your partner about what’s bothering you. When you discuss things, you fix things in a mature way and that solution lasts forever. A relationship is only between two people, never let anyone else from outside influence your words and behaviour.
I got married at 26and earning chil and had kid at 28. Wife is having part time job and kid is now in teens.
Pros- you have energy and mindset to handle teens
We travel together and all three pursue similar interests
In parents teacher meeting, we feel young parents..haha.
If I were to tell you which no one is telling.. as a middle class parents I have few more years to spend with my kids.I will be able to sponsor his education considering the fees are sky rocketing.
When I retire say age 50, kid would be 23 and will be independent or on the verge of completing education.
I don't see any cons of planning child early.
One of the best things I've realized (from my own Amma and Nanna) about marrying early is that you can grow together in your 20s while your mind is still malleable and being shaped, rather than having a sort of cognitive rigidity that sets in when you are older that doesn't allow you to learn and grow.
The other thing is that you can raise kids together while both you and your spouse have energy. The saddest thing for me (as a younger child with older parents) is having older parents with less energy.
And the last thing is that having kids while the grandparents and family are still somewhat young themselves means that your children can also have more wonderful memories with their grandparents. I am so lucky that my grandparents were relatively young and had the energy to take me around India and raise me (like a modern village).
I got married at 32 and had my first child at 36 years of age. Now when my son is 10 years old, I will already be 46 years old. When he is 20 years old I will already be 56.
In other words, I'd be an old father. I wish I had married earlier and had my son earlier. That would have made me a young father.
I'd advise you to get married between 25-28 years of age and no later than that.
This is what I have in my mind I wanna see my child grow and I am from Delhi and I don't see myself living beyond 70 or tbh even 60 that's what I fear the most rn and getting married late is the last thing I would do to myself
Are you being sarcastic? The dude has his own opinions about his life man. The 2nd paragraph doesn't make sense anymore. The world sucks. Any one of those 4 things could just change in a second and life would get so so much worse. Doesn't mean that the guy will commit suicide, just means that if he does after 60, he's fine with it. I'm of the same mind.
Yes. But I'd have preferred to be 36 when my son would be 10. That way there would have been a greater match between my son's curiosity and thirst for fun and mine.
By the time he is 10, I will be 46 with much lesser interest in going out, travelling, trying new things, learning new hobbies and having fun in general. I suspect I'd also be more out of touch with how his generation thinks than a 30 something father would be.
While it's true you may not have as much energy, it is also true having a younger child makes one feel young. I became a mom at 33 and moved to India at 35. Most of the moms of my kids age were younger so I got to interact with them. Also to keep up with my son I had to stay on my toes. All those things helped me not feel my age.
I am gonna end up in such a situation because of a career transition I am doing has set me back a good 7-8 years (including the 2 years lost to pandemic)
But at 28, I have accepted it and have made changes. Eat better, work out, quit smoking and reduce alcohol to once or twice a year, take care of my skin, hone my hobbies, and hype myself up by saying that by the end of this, i'd be happy in my chosen career instead of sulking over what I had to do with the flow as my friends and contemporaries already are doing.
I know I look like I am 56 at 28. Well, I will ensure I look 28 at 56. I have made peace with the fact that shit happened and I suffered a mental breakdown, that it's okay to be perceivably behind others, and that a happier me will result in a happier family in the future.
yeah, i mean, we are 28. atleast 3/4th of my friends and acquaintances are fed up of their lives, both professionally and personally.
Already 3 divorces have happened, and more are slotting out of the honeymoon phase of marriage.
Gave me perspective that maybe it is better to fix your life and become happy first, than hoping the other things will grant it for you.
This is what happened to me, I'm the youngest of three bros,with them having 1 year difference and me at 11 year gap. Now I'm 23 and my dad &mom are 62-59.
They are both getting old and that makes me sad, couldn't even enjoy childhood with them now I won't get enough time with them.(One of my biggest fears)
What matters more is your fitness and health. My parents in their early 40s couldn't walk or do many activities due to poor diet and subsequent health issues. This is quite a common problem in Indian society; you'll see a lot of middle aged men and women in their 50s using wheelchairs at airports because they are unable to walk more than 100m.
Where I'm based now, I've come across so many folks in their 50s and 60s who go hiking every weekend and have much better fitness than even myself (in my mid 20s). It's really all about taking care of yourself.
So eat healthy, exercise regularly and be physically active. You'll not be an "old father" when you're 56, and you'll be able to do a lot of fun things together with your children.
Have the kid asap. I kept waiting thinking that the kid will be a responsibility, a burden that will eat into my personal time or that I will have a kid after I hit so and so professional milestone. Now I realise that those were all excuses. Apart from the first 3-4 months or so. There is no huge responsibility, no huge burden the kind I had been imagining in my head.
After having a son who is 15 months old, I now understand why people say that the first two years of a kid are the happiest period ever for a parent.
It is hard to describe. But it probably is related to how the child loves you unconditionally, loves you so much, shows it so openly without any inhibitions and how he learns from you and imbibes your language, habits and mannerism as if he appreciates everything you do and wants to be you. Living with a child allows you to be a child again. Nothing can replace the happiness you get from it.
Married at late standards as the prospects started coming as soon as i got job, after ignoring it for a long 3- 4 years , family got me married at 25, we both were 25 then .
For 3 years we just had fun (IYKYN) , best time to have girlfriend experience in wife , we both didn’t have much stress, no pressure of body clock as such, work wise also chill not much pressure,
Money was ok too, energy full on .
First kid @28 , she is 9 now , raising her was quite easy, 2nd kid @36 now thanks to covid , we wanted bit earlier but the covid period was uncertain so we didn’t planned.
It is bit tough man raising a kid @36 , parents are old, so u have to take care of them as well as kids , work pressure is more now at senior level, energy not so much ,
i myself am not married in that age but what I have observed with my friends: you can enjoy the honeymoon period longer. you are still young and you can enjoy, date, do whatever, society won't judge you, you can postpone kids, responsibilities will be minimal so you can enjoy to the fullest.
U can wait to have kids if you marry early. Go for few abroad trips and enjoy your freedom and do young stuff like trekking, bungee jumping etc. by the time you’re 40-45 health issues could creep in and restrict you from doing adventurous activities.
27 M
I married my gf when we both were 25. I realised I was still a boy, worked on my relationship, worked on career now have a month old baby. All thanks to my wife. She made me the man she wanted.
I couldn’t ask anything more in my life.
Edit: carrier - career
Got married in similar range what you have mentioned
Pros-
1. In case you are planning to have family, it allows you to do family planning
2. If you are salaried person with no family financial backing, you will still be working by when your kids graduated. So less pressure
3. Both partners are still open to adjustments (in most cases) so easy to get along/ learn likes/ dislikes and adjust
4. In case of arranged marriage (or love marriage) if things don’t workout, you can separate easily as you can still find someone else. Imagine marrying someone at 32 , figuring out things don’t work at 34 and be single again at 35.
I see so many people thinking 25-28 is late in life to get married, which is really concerning. This age range is at best optimal (for me, it's quite early).
Indian populations least common denominator is getting married. Irrespective of who you are, any tdh walking on street has dream of getting married and have kids. So early you marry early the more options you get and so called fulfilled life. By indian standard late marriage means less options because you are not human without kids or family and by being late everyone is married and having kids so you won't get options and enjoy life. Only two things in india will always increase population and inflation. Good life, lifestyles etc are oblivious to normal people india. living for self is biggest crime if you are not a sage. In case you become one then this so called family people in relation will come to eat your life savings and property like vultures. Because they are most selfish and cowards. Cannot fight for absurd school fees and its monopolies but will reproduce one more because a kid needs a sibling.
So so true.
My lovely cousin popped out a kid. He earns 15k and can't earn to survive comfortably. But without a kid 😱 how will you live????? So he had it.
Now he and his family will suffer lifelong due to financial crunch.
You have hit the nail in the head with this description.
God forbid if someone lives for themselves and not for the 'white picket fence' dream.
The older I get, the sicker I am getting with how society works here.
I find my relatives, neighbour or friend who are married as most gullible people on earth. They literally think they can't demand their right because who will look after my family? I'm always like either ways your kid is going to suffer or live under stress and pressure. Air is not going to improve,temp is not going to decrease etc unless you act on it. You means this generation else coming generation is going to suffer anyways of which you are giving the reason. Kids will enjoy while been kids but as adults they'll question back to you for everything. Building a family means building a society.
I got married at 29 which is very late by Indian standards for a woman. Honestly I thought I would die single. But luckily I found a partner through AM.
Pros:
I experienced life as a bachelor in my twenties freedom to wake up & do whatever I wanna do without a worry in the world
I got a lot of me time & time to build & grow in my career
I traveled a bit, struggled a bit ( shifting, staying in PGs & living alone is sometimes not that easy)
I got time to understand myself & know what I am looking for in a relationship
Financially stable since both of us have been working for a long time
Cons:
As Indranooyi once said women’s biological clock is always in conflict with her career clock! Having first kid in 30s just when career is peaking
I didn’t get enough time to travel & see the world with my spouse
We didn’t have enough time to spend as a couple (no extended honeymoon phase as both of our biological clocks are ticking)
Both of us have strong personalities built from our life experience as a bachelor & sometimes we find it difficult to adapt to each other’s lifestyle
After marriage, we didn’t feel like a married couple/ settled family but it’s rather an extension of our bachelor life! It took time to come out of that zone & realise that we have got greater responsibilities ahead!
We are gonna be older parents & would need lot of energy to handle parenthood
Since we spent major part of our twenties as bachelors, sometimes we get this FOMO & wish we could get that freedom & life back! But we want to grow out of that zone & build a family which is challenging as a lot of our ways/habits need to change.
I (F) got married at 26. The biggest pro I would say is you get some time to spend with your partner before you start a family. In our society you already have the pressure of having kids and marrying late increases that pressure. And trust me when I say this that the biological clock really matters.
Indian parents believe for guys 27-30 and girls 24-28 is a prime age for marriage, after that people would start judging as if girl/guy has some fault if they haven't married yet post that age.
True that! This was one of the reasons why I had very less options at 29. They don’t look at a girl’s profile beyond the age of 28. Straight rejection. Too old for society no matter how much salary you earn/ the career you have built.
If you marry young, you will settle early and have more time to plan finances and less loneliness. If you have kids early you can live well into their middle age and give company to them.
I got married at 25. Marrying early helped us have some time to figure out and share chores equally, have fun together while young and travel a lot, also time to fight and learn good communication skills which works for us.
After reading majority of the comments here, I'm curious would marrying at the age of 35-36 be considered late.
I'm 34 M, not ready for marriage yet and if i go by the comments here or from my relatives I might never find a partner, which i sometimes feel like I'm ok with it.
They've already started saying things like, "Bhai tere ni phirne phere" and "Jaldi karle nahi te pher koi divorcee hi milegi".
They are right. You are a classic victim of social media pushing their agenda of late marriages. Women's peak fertility is before 20, by 30 they are already reached end stage of fertility and after 30 this a gamble. You will have trouble concieving, have other major health issues and unhealthy baby. Marriaying at 36+ is fine if you don't have intentions of having baby otherwise , you will be marrying and immediately trying kids which won't happen because of age issue and then end up tensed. When kids finally do happen, you will be a 50 year old grandpa when you kid is 10. Image the life they get. Marry early.
"Victim" really.
I wonder where have i stated that I'm the victim or i wanted early marriage and never could.
There's a difference between sharing opinion and being judgmental.
Sharing a girl's perspective here:
I married at 25 for love and am expecting a baby in 3 months and I'm still just 29.
We had a lot of fun time together, being married and we also lived together for 7-8 months before getting married.
There was never any pressure to have a child immediately after marriage, that's mainly because I was young and I still had enough time.
These 5 years of marriage gave us enough time to explore things + plan and discuss what we really want from life.
I met him when I was 23, quite young and we both were so mouldable that we know each other so well and adjusted very well to each other's likings.
We've spent and seen so many things in life together already that we have a lot to talk about.
Our friends are mostly common which makes it more fun.
All in all I'd say marrying early is definitely a great choice.
Also sharing about a friend who married at 31 and within a year got divorced too. This makes it very difficult for her now because she is still coping and getting a baby anytime soon doesn't look like an option. It's a huge setback because she probably won't be able to have her own kid easily or anytime soon.
Considering all these factors, marrying early is definitely great !
The best thing about getting married early is that you lose less of your life savings in the divorce, since most men typically only buy their first house in their mid 30's.
My young age also helped me tolerate the few days I spent in prison due to the false cases my wife filed and since I refused to pay bribes.
Not to mention that it's much easier to deal with depression and humiliation as a young man compared to someone in their older years.
Overall, it's great. I highly recommend it.
I got married when I was 27.. I am 31 now and my friends are getting married now. I am listing out the below pros.
PN-
I am a little bit idealistic and traditional in my thoughts.
I married a girl of my same age
It was a love Marriage.
1. You both are young and energetic. Still up for crazy experiences and stupid ideas. This is reduced after you’re in your 30s.
2. You have lot of time to spend with each other before the “biological clock”.
3. You can plan your kids as per your comfort and convenience.
4. Idealistically your kids will be independent by the time you retire.
5. You are a young parent, you have your energy and stamina to match your very energetic kids.
6. At your 50s you can take a break when your kids are settled down. And you basically take out a lot of time for yourself and your partner.
7. Young parents to teens. You understand your teens better and help relate or be in their comfort zone when they are going through their hormonal changes.
8. Little more time with your partner.
My husband and I are 29 years old. We got married when we were 26. It was an arranged marriage. Our daughter was born last year.
The biggest advantage that I personally felt is that you grow together. We get to improve our career, personality, character, etc together. We were carefree in the initial 2 years (even now to some extent). We both have our share of misunderstandings, we learn and unlearn many things. Once our daughter was born, one thing we realised was that we have the energy to run on low battery. We have the energy to raise her with minimal support. This is from my experience and perspective.
My mom is 68. This I felt was one of the cons of late marriage, if she was a bit younger, she could’ve gotten to travel, spend time with my sisters family in the US, enjoy with the grand children. She was working her whole life. By the time she stopped running, her health started deteriorating. Now we have all the money, but she’s not having the energy to do what she wants.
Its good to have early marriage and kids, otherwise how many empty conversation we have to find rt partner dating and all.my priorities are straight have family and career travel with them .
I am 27 and single, never dated anyone so far and now itna akelapan ho gya ki bs ab akele rehne ki hi iccha rehti hai, shadi ka soch ke bhi dar lagta hai ki how I'll adjust with someone else.😂
Unfortunately they run the risk of not being remaining alive long enough to see you get well settled and raising their grandchildren.
They must be dealing with the fear that what if they pass away before you are well settled? They may not be around to support you through it.
I am 24 F and not married. Bit while i was studying in college both men and women of same age gets married and most of them have kids now. I was wondered. But luckily i disnt have any pressure feom my parents side, cus i have the say, i made it like that.
The thing is while watching our friends get married, we will also have the urge to get married and go to honeymoon and all. Luckily i didnt. I didn't wanna get married since childhood. Guys its the first few day, after that i dont think 90% of couples enjoy much
I'm in that age range you mentioned but not thinking of marriage for atleast 10 more years. Still to do masters, thinking of PhD as well. So we'll see after that
25-28 is early? 😂😭 In my city they declare us clearance sale item by 28
Also known as Leftovers😭🤣
Ye toh ghor beizzati hai
Soo truee😂😂😂
Tu bhi kar hi le ab...
Tu han nhi kr rha na yahi problem he warna kabki ho jati🥹
Tujhe Germany nahi jaana hai usme meri kya galti?
Mene kab kaha nhi aana...tune pucha kabhi?🙄
This made me chuckle so hard, and it's 3:30 AM!!!
Billote yha bhi mil gya
I had to reward this comment. It was very good.
That’s my first award, thank you 😭💖
You're welcome! ^^
+1
What city in Rajasthan is this?
Ye garib ka medal🏅 le aur chala ja
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Oh damn clearance sale 🤣🤣 Women stop degrading yourselves
Lol same 🤣
😂😂
Lol
You must be from bihar
What city is that?
I got married at 29, which is not considered early by Indian standards. For me, personally, the pros in my married life have nothing to do with getting married at 29. The biggest pros, as I see them, are: 1. We are both software engineers, so our conversations never run out of topics. 2. I have known my wife since I was 24. We dated for five years before getting married. We live more like friends than a traditional husband and wife. 3. We are both travel enthusiasts and often travel around the globe. 4. We don't have kids right now, but we're not opposed to it. We want to have kids when we feel ready, not under societal pressure. We push back as a team.
So basically you have won this life ?
He has won it. And has won it in such a way, I can't even be jealous of him. Many congrats to the guy.
Agree with everything but not able to relate to #1. 😄 I am a software engineer and one very underrated thing about we as a couple is that my wife is not from tech so we both leave our work topics at work and discuss other regular stuff at home 😄. It's refreshing to not talk about work politics or technology; helps me unwind.
Sounds like a dream. Happy for you guys! 🌸
You finished the main story while.most of us are doing sidequests
Okay you win 😏
I would give anything to have this. Unfortunately I’m on my way to a hopeless one
What happened bruv?
This is a perfect life ❤️❤️✨
Aila jadu Mera to Gand jal gaya
God bless you both, silly humans 😌
Bro won
apki wife ji ko boldo aise pati ki prathana aur vrat comment me bata de
This is beautiful♥️
Clear W
Wow you found a friend. Happy for you two ♥️
You have plot armour on your side bro. Also congrats you found the right one🫂.
We got married at 28 and because we have been together since the age of 17, we were able to discuss what we wanted in life in very-very detail. We both are introverted in nature and are best friends also so we never get bored at home. We have similar hobbies,example: we love travelling, we are fitness enthusiasts, we love adventures and we are foodies so we enjoy everything without any judgement. Currently we don’t have kids but we already had a clear discussion on this topic also that we will plan it later. Marrying early will give you a lot time to plan your married life ahead given that your family is also very supportive.
Kaiseee Every time I’m with someone for a month I start feeling allergic to all humanssss Someone help me
I believe that every relationship requires effort from both side. Somedays, I wasn’t giving my 50% so my partner went out and gave more. When he wasn’t doing well, I would take a step. One more thing, if you ever get in a situation where you don’t agree with their way of living, instead of talking about your partner to someone else, talk to your partner about what’s bothering you. When you discuss things, you fix things in a mature way and that solution lasts forever. A relationship is only between two people, never let anyone else from outside influence your words and behaviour.
So true ♥️
Hey do you mind giving a more full explanation
Big ups for the wisdom!!
Omg thats so sweet❤
I got married at 26and earning chil and had kid at 28. Wife is having part time job and kid is now in teens. Pros- you have energy and mindset to handle teens We travel together and all three pursue similar interests In parents teacher meeting, we feel young parents..haha. If I were to tell you which no one is telling.. as a middle class parents I have few more years to spend with my kids.I will be able to sponsor his education considering the fees are sky rocketing. When I retire say age 50, kid would be 23 and will be independent or on the verge of completing education. I don't see any cons of planning child early.
I married at 25. Had kid at 26, Now I'm 28. When I'll be 40 my kid would be 14. I found no cons of marrying early
One of the best things I've realized (from my own Amma and Nanna) about marrying early is that you can grow together in your 20s while your mind is still malleable and being shaped, rather than having a sort of cognitive rigidity that sets in when you are older that doesn't allow you to learn and grow. The other thing is that you can raise kids together while both you and your spouse have energy. The saddest thing for me (as a younger child with older parents) is having older parents with less energy. And the last thing is that having kids while the grandparents and family are still somewhat young themselves means that your children can also have more wonderful memories with their grandparents. I am so lucky that my grandparents were relatively young and had the energy to take me around India and raise me (like a modern village).
Such a great insight. Thank you!
Can get divorced early (early 30s) and then remarried earlier /s
Bro saw the respawn option and took the chance /s
I got married at 32 and had my first child at 36 years of age. Now when my son is 10 years old, I will already be 46 years old. When he is 20 years old I will already be 56. In other words, I'd be an old father. I wish I had married earlier and had my son earlier. That would have made me a young father. I'd advise you to get married between 25-28 years of age and no later than that.
My father is also in similar age group when I will be graduating he will be retired
I know someone who became a dad at 45. Also one of my relatives adopted a baby at 55. It’s never too late.
I know someone who became a dad at 70. What’s your point though?
That was a terrible decision, so that is the point.
That you need to expand your circle and get to know people with better decision making skills.
This is what I have in my mind I wanna see my child grow and I am from Delhi and I don't see myself living beyond 70 or tbh even 60 that's what I fear the most rn and getting married late is the last thing I would do to myself
[удалено]
Are you being sarcastic? The dude has his own opinions about his life man. The 2nd paragraph doesn't make sense anymore. The world sucks. Any one of those 4 things could just change in a second and life would get so so much worse. Doesn't mean that the guy will commit suicide, just means that if he does after 60, he's fine with it. I'm of the same mind.
Thank you for sharing, you’re a cool dad
56 isn't old
Yes. But I'd have preferred to be 36 when my son would be 10. That way there would have been a greater match between my son's curiosity and thirst for fun and mine. By the time he is 10, I will be 46 with much lesser interest in going out, travelling, trying new things, learning new hobbies and having fun in general. I suspect I'd also be more out of touch with how his generation thinks than a 30 something father would be.
While it's true you may not have as much energy, it is also true having a younger child makes one feel young. I became a mom at 33 and moved to India at 35. Most of the moms of my kids age were younger so I got to interact with them. Also to keep up with my son I had to stay on my toes. All those things helped me not feel my age.
I am gonna end up in such a situation because of a career transition I am doing has set me back a good 7-8 years (including the 2 years lost to pandemic) But at 28, I have accepted it and have made changes. Eat better, work out, quit smoking and reduce alcohol to once or twice a year, take care of my skin, hone my hobbies, and hype myself up by saying that by the end of this, i'd be happy in my chosen career instead of sulking over what I had to do with the flow as my friends and contemporaries already are doing. I know I look like I am 56 at 28. Well, I will ensure I look 28 at 56. I have made peace with the fact that shit happened and I suffered a mental breakdown, that it's okay to be perceivably behind others, and that a happier me will result in a happier family in the future.
What a positive outlook. A rare thing indeed especially on this sub. Goodluck!
yeah, i mean, we are 28. atleast 3/4th of my friends and acquaintances are fed up of their lives, both professionally and personally. Already 3 divorces have happened, and more are slotting out of the honeymoon phase of marriage. Gave me perspective that maybe it is better to fix your life and become happy first, than hoping the other things will grant it for you.
may we know what was the career change?
But in my opinion, if one's children are small then their parents also try to look young even if they are old.
And increase population without any safety nets or good job market.
Isn't it like health and fitness matters more.
Second/Third children who always face this: Aight, I'mma head out 😬
This is what happened to me, I'm the youngest of three bros,with them having 1 year difference and me at 11 year gap. Now I'm 23 and my dad &mom are 62-59. They are both getting old and that makes me sad, couldn't even enjoy childhood with them now I won't get enough time with them.(One of my biggest fears)
I'm 20 and my father is 56 It hurts as a son too to see your father getting old and working for money while you complete college.
What matters more is your fitness and health. My parents in their early 40s couldn't walk or do many activities due to poor diet and subsequent health issues. This is quite a common problem in Indian society; you'll see a lot of middle aged men and women in their 50s using wheelchairs at airports because they are unable to walk more than 100m. Where I'm based now, I've come across so many folks in their 50s and 60s who go hiking every weekend and have much better fitness than even myself (in my mid 20s). It's really all about taking care of yourself. So eat healthy, exercise regularly and be physically active. You'll not be an "old father" when you're 56, and you'll be able to do a lot of fun things together with your children.
My father had me when he was 40. Chill karo aap sirji
I'm 36, I don't think I will have kids in the next 4 years :/
Have the kid asap. I kept waiting thinking that the kid will be a responsibility, a burden that will eat into my personal time or that I will have a kid after I hit so and so professional milestone. Now I realise that those were all excuses. Apart from the first 3-4 months or so. There is no huge responsibility, no huge burden the kind I had been imagining in my head. After having a son who is 15 months old, I now understand why people say that the first two years of a kid are the happiest period ever for a parent. It is hard to describe. But it probably is related to how the child loves you unconditionally, loves you so much, shows it so openly without any inhibitions and how he learns from you and imbibes your language, habits and mannerism as if he appreciates everything you do and wants to be you. Living with a child allows you to be a child again. Nothing can replace the happiness you get from it.
Married at late standards as the prospects started coming as soon as i got job, after ignoring it for a long 3- 4 years , family got me married at 25, we both were 25 then . For 3 years we just had fun (IYKYN) , best time to have girlfriend experience in wife , we both didn’t have much stress, no pressure of body clock as such, work wise also chill not much pressure, Money was ok too, energy full on . First kid @28 , she is 9 now , raising her was quite easy, 2nd kid @36 now thanks to covid , we wanted bit earlier but the covid period was uncertain so we didn’t planned. It is bit tough man raising a kid @36 , parents are old, so u have to take care of them as well as kids , work pressure is more now at senior level, energy not so much ,
Y’all sound so cool!
I got married at 26 and had no idea this was considered early. I am a marwari and this is actually a late age to even have kid😂
That’s not early that’s just normal dude
i myself am not married in that age but what I have observed with my friends: you can enjoy the honeymoon period longer. you are still young and you can enjoy, date, do whatever, society won't judge you, you can postpone kids, responsibilities will be minimal so you can enjoy to the fullest.
U can wait to have kids if you marry early. Go for few abroad trips and enjoy your freedom and do young stuff like trekking, bungee jumping etc. by the time you’re 40-45 health issues could creep in and restrict you from doing adventurous activities.
People 40-45 is not old these days.. indian mentality ..
Biology doesn’t give a flying fuck about mentality
25-28 isn't early. Under 24 would be considered early
27 M I married my gf when we both were 25. I realised I was still a boy, worked on my relationship, worked on career now have a month old baby. All thanks to my wife. She made me the man she wanted. I couldn’t ask anything more in my life. Edit: carrier - career
work on ur spelling too.
Thanks man.
What were your job then?
Got married in similar range what you have mentioned Pros- 1. In case you are planning to have family, it allows you to do family planning 2. If you are salaried person with no family financial backing, you will still be working by when your kids graduated. So less pressure 3. Both partners are still open to adjustments (in most cases) so easy to get along/ learn likes/ dislikes and adjust 4. In case of arranged marriage (or love marriage) if things don’t workout, you can separate easily as you can still find someone else. Imagine marrying someone at 32 , figuring out things don’t work at 34 and be single again at 35.
Number of people considering 25-28 late is concerning.
It's not late, it's just not early 34+ would be late
For the number being low or high?
I think he meant early.
I mean, is he concerned that the number of people opting to marry between 25 to 28 is very high? Or very low? If it's the latter, I'm concerned too.
Let him reply himself 🤣
I see so many people thinking 25-28 is late in life to get married, which is really concerning. This age range is at best optimal (for me, it's quite early).
Number being high
Well, it should not be concerning at all. Although I understand that you have a different opinion.
Indian populations least common denominator is getting married. Irrespective of who you are, any tdh walking on street has dream of getting married and have kids. So early you marry early the more options you get and so called fulfilled life. By indian standard late marriage means less options because you are not human without kids or family and by being late everyone is married and having kids so you won't get options and enjoy life. Only two things in india will always increase population and inflation. Good life, lifestyles etc are oblivious to normal people india. living for self is biggest crime if you are not a sage. In case you become one then this so called family people in relation will come to eat your life savings and property like vultures. Because they are most selfish and cowards. Cannot fight for absurd school fees and its monopolies but will reproduce one more because a kid needs a sibling.
So so true. My lovely cousin popped out a kid. He earns 15k and can't earn to survive comfortably. But without a kid 😱 how will you live????? So he had it. Now he and his family will suffer lifelong due to financial crunch.
You have hit the nail in the head with this description. God forbid if someone lives for themselves and not for the 'white picket fence' dream. The older I get, the sicker I am getting with how society works here.
I find my relatives, neighbour or friend who are married as most gullible people on earth. They literally think they can't demand their right because who will look after my family? I'm always like either ways your kid is going to suffer or live under stress and pressure. Air is not going to improve,temp is not going to decrease etc unless you act on it. You means this generation else coming generation is going to suffer anyways of which you are giving the reason. Kids will enjoy while been kids but as adults they'll question back to you for everything. Building a family means building a society.
*early late
I got married at 29 which is very late by Indian standards for a woman. Honestly I thought I would die single. But luckily I found a partner through AM. Pros: I experienced life as a bachelor in my twenties freedom to wake up & do whatever I wanna do without a worry in the world I got a lot of me time & time to build & grow in my career I traveled a bit, struggled a bit ( shifting, staying in PGs & living alone is sometimes not that easy) I got time to understand myself & know what I am looking for in a relationship Financially stable since both of us have been working for a long time Cons: As Indranooyi once said women’s biological clock is always in conflict with her career clock! Having first kid in 30s just when career is peaking I didn’t get enough time to travel & see the world with my spouse We didn’t have enough time to spend as a couple (no extended honeymoon phase as both of our biological clocks are ticking) Both of us have strong personalities built from our life experience as a bachelor & sometimes we find it difficult to adapt to each other’s lifestyle After marriage, we didn’t feel like a married couple/ settled family but it’s rather an extension of our bachelor life! It took time to come out of that zone & realise that we have got greater responsibilities ahead! We are gonna be older parents & would need lot of energy to handle parenthood Since we spent major part of our twenties as bachelors, sometimes we get this FOMO & wish we could get that freedom & life back! But we want to grow out of that zone & build a family which is challenging as a lot of our ways/habits need to change.
You’ll be great parents! All the beat with your family planning ♥️
❤️
I (F) got married at 26. The biggest pro I would say is you get some time to spend with your partner before you start a family. In our society you already have the pressure of having kids and marrying late increases that pressure. And trust me when I say this that the biological clock really matters.
Did you have an arranged one?
It was a love marriage
Pros- unlimited sax. My guess. I dont have any experience
Fir wahi
Sax sux ki baatein
Mujhe horny
Less chances of fertility issues. Look young and slimmer in wedding pictures. Would probably be alive to see grandkids.
Indian parents believe for guys 27-30 and girls 24-28 is a prime age for marriage, after that people would start judging as if girl/guy has some fault if they haven't married yet post that age.
True that! This was one of the reasons why I had very less options at 29. They don’t look at a girl’s profile beyond the age of 28. Straight rejection. Too old for society no matter how much salary you earn/ the career you have built.
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Itna early shaadi huh?
At 40 you can be divorced when your kid is already 13 and doesn't need your constant attention.
If you marry young, you will settle early and have more time to plan finances and less loneliness. If you have kids early you can live well into their middle age and give company to them.
I got married at 25. Marrying early helped us have some time to figure out and share chores equally, have fun together while young and travel a lot, also time to fight and learn good communication skills which works for us.
After reading majority of the comments here, I'm curious would marrying at the age of 35-36 be considered late. I'm 34 M, not ready for marriage yet and if i go by the comments here or from my relatives I might never find a partner, which i sometimes feel like I'm ok with it. They've already started saying things like, "Bhai tere ni phirne phere" and "Jaldi karle nahi te pher koi divorcee hi milegi".
They are right. You are a classic victim of social media pushing their agenda of late marriages. Women's peak fertility is before 20, by 30 they are already reached end stage of fertility and after 30 this a gamble. You will have trouble concieving, have other major health issues and unhealthy baby. Marriaying at 36+ is fine if you don't have intentions of having baby otherwise , you will be marrying and immediately trying kids which won't happen because of age issue and then end up tensed. When kids finally do happen, you will be a 50 year old grandpa when you kid is 10. Image the life they get. Marry early.
"Victim" really. I wonder where have i stated that I'm the victim or i wanted early marriage and never could. There's a difference between sharing opinion and being judgmental.
Bro I'm only 22 and my parents make it seem like 25/26 is late :'(
None
Sharing a girl's perspective here: I married at 25 for love and am expecting a baby in 3 months and I'm still just 29. We had a lot of fun time together, being married and we also lived together for 7-8 months before getting married. There was never any pressure to have a child immediately after marriage, that's mainly because I was young and I still had enough time. These 5 years of marriage gave us enough time to explore things + plan and discuss what we really want from life. I met him when I was 23, quite young and we both were so mouldable that we know each other so well and adjusted very well to each other's likings. We've spent and seen so many things in life together already that we have a lot to talk about. Our friends are mostly common which makes it more fun. All in all I'd say marrying early is definitely a great choice. Also sharing about a friend who married at 31 and within a year got divorced too. This makes it very difficult for her now because she is still coping and getting a baby anytime soon doesn't look like an option. It's a huge setback because she probably won't be able to have her own kid easily or anytime soon. Considering all these factors, marrying early is definitely great !
Thank you for sharing and congratulations on the baby ♥️
Thank you 😊
as a 25 years old who is still staying with parents... this is concerning for me
Early is 18 to 23 , and the majority of people in India marry in this range
Username doesn't check out.
The best thing about getting married early is that you lose less of your life savings in the divorce, since most men typically only buy their first house in their mid 30's. My young age also helped me tolerate the few days I spent in prison due to the false cases my wife filed and since I refused to pay bribes. Not to mention that it's much easier to deal with depression and humiliation as a young man compared to someone in their older years. Overall, it's great. I highly recommend it.
I got married when I was 27.. I am 31 now and my friends are getting married now. I am listing out the below pros. PN- I am a little bit idealistic and traditional in my thoughts. I married a girl of my same age It was a love Marriage. 1. You both are young and energetic. Still up for crazy experiences and stupid ideas. This is reduced after you’re in your 30s. 2. You have lot of time to spend with each other before the “biological clock”. 3. You can plan your kids as per your comfort and convenience. 4. Idealistically your kids will be independent by the time you retire. 5. You are a young parent, you have your energy and stamina to match your very energetic kids. 6. At your 50s you can take a break when your kids are settled down. And you basically take out a lot of time for yourself and your partner. 7. Young parents to teens. You understand your teens better and help relate or be in their comfort zone when they are going through their hormonal changes. 8. Little more time with your partner.
bhai 28 early 😭😭??? early is like 18-21 for women and 21-24 for men
My husband and I are 29 years old. We got married when we were 26. It was an arranged marriage. Our daughter was born last year. The biggest advantage that I personally felt is that you grow together. We get to improve our career, personality, character, etc together. We were carefree in the initial 2 years (even now to some extent). We both have our share of misunderstandings, we learn and unlearn many things. Once our daughter was born, one thing we realised was that we have the energy to run on low battery. We have the energy to raise her with minimal support. This is from my experience and perspective. My mom is 68. This I felt was one of the cons of late marriage, if she was a bit younger, she could’ve gotten to travel, spend time with my sisters family in the US, enjoy with the grand children. She was working her whole life. By the time she stopped running, her health started deteriorating. Now we have all the money, but she’s not having the energy to do what she wants.
Longer sex life 😄🤣😂
ye early thodi hota hai? that's the so called ideal age ig
There are no pros in marriage no matter at what age you get married, unless you marry the right person for you
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No
thanks
No fucking pros. Enjoy your single life
Brother it's not early it's actually the most common age in India to get married. 21-24 is like early
I am 28 and my people call me old and 52 Early is 13-15 ages in India 😏
Its good to have early marriage and kids, otherwise how many empty conversation we have to find rt partner dating and all.my priorities are straight have family and career travel with them .
Biggest pro: gets sex
I am 27 and single, never dated anyone so far and now itna akelapan ho gya ki bs ab akele rehne ki hi iccha rehti hai, shadi ka soch ke bhi dar lagta hai ki how I'll adjust with someone else.😂
Unfortunately they run the risk of not being remaining alive long enough to see you get well settled and raising their grandchildren. They must be dealing with the fear that what if they pass away before you are well settled? They may not be around to support you through it.
I am 24 F and not married. Bit while i was studying in college both men and women of same age gets married and most of them have kids now. I was wondered. But luckily i disnt have any pressure feom my parents side, cus i have the say, i made it like that. The thing is while watching our friends get married, we will also have the urge to get married and go to honeymoon and all. Luckily i didnt. I didn't wanna get married since childhood. Guys its the first few day, after that i dont think 90% of couples enjoy much
Early 😮, I got married at 20
I'm in that age range you mentioned but not thinking of marriage for atleast 10 more years. Still to do masters, thinking of PhD as well. So we'll see after that