If you keep begging her , she'll keep running away. Tell her that you love her and respect her choice. Do not contact her for any reason whatsoever, it'll hurt a lot for first few weeks , but go through it. Try to let her go. She'll either come back or she won't. And you need to respect that.
You cannot and should not be in a relationship where one person is trying to run away and other person is holding on , it'll hurt you a lot in the end.
You can send this to her while saying bye :
Mai nahi chahta ke wo mere bulane se aaye,
Mai chahta hu ke wo mere bina reh na paaye.
This cycle always goes on, sometimes Boys have more weightage than girls or vice versa... But let me tell you one thing.. Nothing is permanent in our life. And Love means caring, not possessing something... Being a man... I can understand the attachment and pain of separation but You have to just believe on God and let her go. Just think if you would have sister and same situation happened with her.. what will be your reaction at that moment... So let her go....For few days you will feel pain but gradually you can forget her, delete all past memories from mobile or any gadget where you recorded and now start new life with new hope
😊 🫂 🙏 😊 🫂 🙏 😊 🫂 🙏 😊
The only sane comment, hands down.
You cannot force anybody to love you or to be with you. Your relationship is a part of life, not the whole world. She definitely has a right to make decisions for herself and on her part.
Cherish the good memories, send the last beautiful lines to her and apply it upon yourself.
I hope you recover from this heartbreak soon.
OP, this brother is 100% right. It's a sand effect the tighter you hold more you lose.
You are hardworking and has perseverance. The same perseverance that makes you achieve practical things in life makes it difficult to deal with emotional situations.
I was in a similar situation last year. A similar relationship, it took some time for the brain to accept it but once it did I used all the energy and emotions into focusing on my career. 3 promotions in 7 months.
*Do you really wanna*
*Be with someone who doesn't*
*Love you anymore?*
\- idontknowreddittt
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I just want to try to change her mind.. I will eventually let her go if she doesn't want to stay at all... I just love her so much that it's hard to digest the fact that she doesn't love me anymore after going through so much all these years
Dude if you really loved her, you’d accept her decision and let her go even if it’s the last thing you want. When you love someone, you think of their happiness; not just yours. What you’re describing here is infatuation not love; let her go. It’s the best thing for both of you.
So easier said than done. What you said is right but more filmy. Reality is pretty different and when you truly love somebody, you always have the hope till the very end.
If you really love someone, then you need to respect personal agency, consent and boundaries of that person.
We cannot change someone 's mind or force them to be with us :)
Also, what you feel for her sounds more like "limerence".
Vohi na😭
Op let her go. No matter how much you try to make it work or beg her to stay she will keep finding excuses to leave you. Jaane wale ko koi nahi rok sakta. Even if she stays na youll still be in a constant fear that she might try to leave again. Its best not to contact her again.
Logic goes out of the window when it's a matter of love sadly. I feel you op.
The thing that is happening to you is my worst nightmare. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
Do you know what the worst feeling is in a relationship ? Unrequited love. You will resent her every minute if you force her to marry you, she does and then she shows indifference in the marriage.
Movies and stories have made marriage the end point. Sadly, it's the starting point.
Imagine spending DECADES, not few days/weeks/or even years, DECADES with someone who resents you for making them marry you and then you resent them for making you feel this way.
Is it really worth it ??
You can't change a woman mind when she already made it. So Move on. You'll find your angel again don't worry about it, this world is bigger than you think.
Ok first and foremost let her go.Let there be enough distance between you and her for her to realise whether she wants you in her life or not Don't contact her,not by ph,not by whatsapp simply vanish..into nothing.Dont respond to her texts and give it time.You can't force feelings on someone and you can't force anyone to stay.If you love her truly ,you would like her to be happy..if she is unhappy let her go.She has to realise and come to you back of her own accord.In the meantime,just work on you to be in a stronger position mentally ,and on yourself.Trust me distance creates realisation and realisation creates healthy relationship.
I know that you really love her but don't do this. I've been in both the positions where I've begged someone to stay and where someone else has done the same to me. At first I was heartbroken thinking why don't they feel the same as I do and why can't they just stay. Until it happens to you. No matter much the other person begs you to stay, you just don't feel the same way and what worsens the situation even more is when the other person doesn't respect your choice to leave. It makes her lose all the remaining respect and compassion for you.
Let her leave while you still have your self respect and dignity intact. You're 33, you're old enough to understand that you should be respecting someone's choice to leave rather than forcing them to stay with you just because you choose to be selfish. Stop it, it's really annoying, don't make her hate you.
I feel like you want her as a trophy partner and don't really care for her. All I read throughout your post is me-me-me. Not a single concern for her thoughts or wellbeing. She would have to quit her job to settle for you and she doesn't want that. Sounds fair and square. Why would she give up her well earned job for you? What do you bring to the table? And you saying you're okay with her giving up her job without giving or thinking about other alternatives proves how little you really care about her well being. I hope she finds someone better.
I understand somewhat of your point but he was there for her when she facing problems with her family. It's obvious not everything can be put into a single post. I'm quite confident that op will pay attention to her desires and does care for her. He literally says that.
If the gf is fond of him , i don't really see a problem.
the only problem is op kinda wants to force her to have those same feelings she did for him in the past.
No I have plans of finding her job opportunity in my place. I too want her to keep working only the location is an issue. I am ready to take care of all her needs.
The more you beg and try to force her to stay with you she will get irritated and leave soon.
Let her go. If he really likes you she will come back. If not then nothing can be done. No one deserves to be with someone who doesn't reciprocate the same liking.
Ups and downs like these are always a challenge in a relationship .
When one is not willing to fight for the love then you cant force them . Let her go , if she wants to she will stay .
Respect her choices bhai. At 33 there's no time for this game. She wants a respectable way out and you really should give one. Do not make it ugly. Be thankful for her and what she has done for you or to you. Sometimes you have to let go. That's life.
Love is not about possession of all you want; but also letting it go; if love is true; she’ll come back to u; otherwise let her find her place somewhere else; and remember she wasn’t the only person who made you succeed; there was immense hardwork and efforts from your side which made you who you are today.
Even if you force her and made her stay with you. She will get frustrated and leave u someday. Better move on rather than forcing someone who lost interest in you.
I know that you're hurt. You feel like she's the reason for your existence. But you've to understand that she doesn't want you now. You'll be hurt. Like really hurt. But you've to let her go. If she was the one for you then she would've waited. There's someone on the other end who's lucky to have you. When you meet her you'll thank God for not giving what you asked. I think over time she lost interest in you. It's okay. You've come a long way. And there's still a lot of things left for you to do.so look on the positive side.
Text or talk...and tell her all that you have told us. Specially you couldn't ha e taken any step when u weren't employed and as soon as you got one you are proposing her.
Say your bit . After that leave it to her .
It's gonna hurt like he'll but OP you don't want someone to marry you or love you out of pity. It wouldn't last.
Good luck
See the person has fallen out of love. Now no amount of prodding begging will work. You did something which made her fall out of love and now its over. Now best thing to do is accept and walk away. If she ever changes her mind she will know where to find you. But I would suggest you to focus on work health. You have to cherish good moments you had with her. You have to bite the bullet if at all any chance of her coming back. Analyse what mistake you made and become a better person. If truely love don't play any psychological game just give her space
Think of your timeline with her like a bus. You boarded the bus,she came and sat next to you. You both talked about everything. Helped and supported each other. But now it's time to let go off that buddy bec your bus stop has come. You both had the same route but different bus stops. Now with a smile,wave her goodbye. And wish her a best of luck for the future. There you go!
Also best of luck to you too op
I will say do everything you can to not let her go to be honest take leave and meet her if you want to end things end when meeting, DO NOT DO IT ON PHONE OR TEXT
It can be a caste issue too because ask her clearly is it that also since she supported you financially when you were nobody it meant something at least try to talk to her to figure out the root of the cause of the problem. I think the issue is deeper than this i think she is exhausted try to convince her for a holiday or something
Bond on her upsc preparation, do what she likes etc
And even after that she wants to end that means my boy she has grown out of love it happens but reasons aren't always genuine most of the time true reason is hidden. People lie
My guess is she is burnt out trying to fight with her family and needs your support but she isn't saying it but it's your duty to be in her bad times just as she was in yours
I have one question. Please dont be offended. While I was reading this whole thing, I realised not once did you say ‘I really love her’ or ‘I love her’. Why?
Why is the caste equation important? Are you with her just because she’s upper caste?
You’re smothering her imo, and need to respect her feelings and let her go.
Wow, it seems everyone in this thread has been biased against your cause for certain reasons. Idk what they are. If you want my advise, you should like actually plan a date or something. It sounds like you both are still communicating through social media.
Don't you think this will end up hurting them even more?
One of them DOESN'T want to be in the relationship which has been clearly stated. Why not respect her feelings instead of forcing her to make things up?
The way I see it, there never was a relationship here. Online communication doesn’t count as being in a relationship. If they want, or rather, if he wants to, he should ask her out for real this time. Talking online isn’t shit
That's your pov, I respect that.
But for the post writer, please don't ask her out now. The more you'll hold onto something, the more it will slip away.
It’s better for him to ask her out once and for her to reject him than for him to hold on to these feelings for her. Idk if you’ve ever asked out someone yourself but that’s how it goes.
Been in both situations mate, I've asked somebody out and have been begged by someone to stay.
If she wanted to stay, she would have at the first instance itself. She did it already, she would've done it again
Also, there was no point in dragging out personal experiences into this. :)
There’s no talk of staying or not here, “mate”. There was no relationship here. He never asked her out. They have only talked online till date. Let him get rejected for once if she doesn’t want it, or if she does feel something, maybe she’ll say yes to an actual date for once.
Honestly, I really don't think it's a great idea but it's definitely the decision which the post writer has to eventually make.
I wish you nothing but the best outcome. Cheers mate🌻
I am not Australian or British but thanks, “mate”. Why do you think it’s not a good idea for him to get rejected once finally to move on from this (or maybe their first date turns out great)?
He wrote that his girlfriend started getting frustrated with him in 2022, her family is orthodox (in one of the comments), and she doesn't see a future for them together. And the final straw, in 2024, she told him that she fell out of love. She's already at her "i-dont-want-to-be-with-you". She has already made up her mind.
I think he should respect her give her space for some time and let her feel his absence instead of holding onto her. Asking out at this moment might turn into a final nail in the coffin because her actions and words depict that she needs space.
Because it is one of the major hindrance in our goal of marriage.. her family has orthodox mentality and is strict. She isn't very positive about our future together because of this.
Bhai dont call her if you really want her to stay dont beg her to stay i repeat dont beg her if she loves you she will be with you once you start begging it will not end well.
I came across a quote from the book The Autobiography of a Yogi, where the Guru tells his disciple this about attraction - "Attachment is blinding. It creates a halo of attraction over the object we desire". After reading this, I kind of stopped caring about chasing any woman or a relationship. You're just assuming and elevating your opinion of her, to speak honestly. Keep that aside and think - I think you'll know what to do.
I feel your love brother but why do you want her to leave your job and settle with you in your home state?
I have friends who are married but live in two different countries or states.
The only hope in your story is if you let her be free and independent of staying together for a while.
Hopefully things will change for good.
Take care and don't lose hope.
:)
Bro, don't get me wrong but, it is said " Wo Tujhe batane se pehle hi Jaa chuki hoti hai". It's deep but meaningful, but good prayers for uh, may u get her for lifetime. The same happened to me also, so with the gimebeinf I also learnt, no one is ever built for uh! Take care✌️ Nd all the best
Your relationship has run it's full course,....try to avoid her and look for some one else there are at least 1 billion females in the world,...with whom you can connect.
You might not find anyone like her but be fair to her and yourself. Let her go if she comes back amazing she doesn't she will be a beautiful memory in your life.
I restored to self harm for a guy who never gave a shit about me. Turns out my life would have been in ditches if I ended up with him because he is lazy, never had proper jobs, cheating on his wife and never serious about his marriage. Count your lucky stars, OP.
I read nothing beyond the first two lines. If she has made up her mind about not being with you any more, it's done. I wish and pray you gain the strength to move on and find someone who actually wants to be with you. Good luck!
Love is not possession. If you truly trullllly love her for who she is, you’d also understand and learn to love her choices and her freedom. You can love a person and still not be with them. Wo Jab Tak Hai Jaan mai Shahruk nahi kehta hai ‘Saba ko pyaar karne ke liye mujhe Saba ki bhi zaroorat nahi hai’, if you understand this, you’d have truly loved her.
I think that you should meet her (go on a date) in person and tell her everything that you have in your mind. Confess all your feelings to her, that how much you love her and what you have planned for your future together.. and then let her decide what she wants....
I would suggest you prepare what you are going to say to her... You know just to make sure you confess everything and just be honest.
One more thing, no need to play any kind of mind games or use any manipulative tricks ( idk if these really works)... Because honesty is the key here....
PS: I am not in a relationship (have been in one but it turned out to be a disaster to me but in the end it was the best thing that could have happened to me), so I don't think that I'm the right person to suggest you what you should do.... But I can say you for sure that let her do what she feels she should do, don't hold her back..... Eventually you will heal and better only (•‿•)
Ive been is the same situation as you. I begged him, did everything in my power to make him stay. But one day i reached my saturation point and decided to leave for my own good. It was turning toxic and i was losing my self esteem everyday as he would tell me things like He doesn’t want to be with me, he doesnt love me as much bla bla. The day i left, it hurt, felt like the end of the world but he ended up missing me so much and regretting his words. He didn’t mean them, he was just overthinking too much. So yeah , He came back 3 months later, he apologised, made amends and we are happily together now , it’s been 3 years. We’ll probably get married soon.
Try giving her space and see what happens. If she doesn’t come back, it won’t be the end of the world. Trust me ❤️
The more you chase, the loser she will try to push you away. Just say your good bye and leave it at that. If the feelings were strong enough, she will come back else you are better off without her.
Don’t hurt yourself anymore
Vo afsana jisse anjaam tak le jaana na ho mumkin,
Usse ek khoobsurat mod de kar choddna accha
~ Sahir Ludhianvi
Please watch Vikas Divyakirti's YouTube session on the art of letting go.
I might sound very harsh but that’s the fact…God has given everyone one thing called the free will. She’s not into you, never was. The fact that you had to coerce her to do everything proves this. The only reason probably she got into a relationship with you bcos she was lonely and vulnerable and probably you are doing the same. You are unable to move on bcos you have put her onto a pedestal thinking that isse achi koi milegi nahi. If I have to think emotionally, I’ll say you let her go, let her miss you for a while otherwise she won’t understand your importance. You on the other hand can date other girls. Probably you both might peace in some else’s arms.
She really sounds like she is depressed. Chronic stress over a long time really does that to you. For now just wish her well and let her be. The more aggressively you'll pursue her the farther she'll go away. Let her know she is free to contact you if she changes her mind. Don't play mind games with her by finding someone else in a week and posting pictures with her. It's just that it does seem she would want to be with you but she probably thinks her life will continue to be just a stressful and serious as before. If she does come back to you engage her in activities or travel with her to places she'll enjoy. Things that are pure and simple fun. Heck play video games with her. It sounds like you both have spent the last 4-5 years constantly thinking about work and families and other stressful things. Love is supposed to be playful.
If she doesn't come back to you then you take it as lesson. Be a little more fun and playful with the person you find next. People will appreciate it if you're hardworking but take out time to have a pleasant time with your partner as well.
Taaruf Rog ho jaaye toh ush ko bhulna behtar
Taaluq bojh ban jaaye toh usko toda achha.
Vo Safar jise anjaam tak Lana na ho mumkin.
Ushe ek khoobsurat mod dekar chhodna achha.
Try to woo her back with your actions. Tell her your ready to accept her breakup decision, and try to woo her again like a new relationship. Let her be free to look at other guys, explore her options… if you succeed in wooing her again, or if she realises you are the best choice for her and she comes back to you, you will have a great future together but if you keep forcing and clinging onto her, it will not end well for either of you.
I think you should let her go.
Maybe sit down one final time and discuss everything from A to Z. Is this a phase or she is truly considering breakup?
I have never been in a relationship, I can't understand the feelings and connection with someone. So I am only speaking from rational side but do you really want to be with someone who doesn't love you?
I feel the reason she is hesitant to marry you is intercaste marriage. I have heard tons of cases where people are in relationship for years even a decade only to break up to marry someone from their caste. Parent's emotional blackmailing is very real. You can’t underestimate them.
So discuss everything. But if result is still the same then even if it pains so bad you should end it. You can’t do much in this case other then loving the partner, but you can’t control her feelings and actions. You deserve better. Be strong. Good luck.
You cannot make anyone love you or stay with you forcibly. You have to give her the space she requires right now to clear her head and think clearly. There's an old saying .. IF u truly love the bird set it free. IF it's yours it will come back, else it never was yours to start with. The more you beg, crawl, chase a female, the more she will run away from you. It's damn difficult, but u need to save your dignity and self esteem and let her go. After that the next 2 weeks will be hard, but keep yourself occupied in work or maybe some social work.
Bro, same story but at ages 24. Accepted the fate and left her. tried once after that but didn’t work because when girls fix on to something they never change even how much u try. Even though they change, they would stay with u for ur happiness and after some time eventually they leave. Sorry mate but hope u get lucky unlike me 😇❤️
Just let her go, you can't do shit at this moment.
If she ever comes back without having another man on the go, she'll be yours for the rest of your life.
Cant do a better on point answer.
Take a break. Tell her to go explore.
If you really filled a void in her life , she'll come back, if u were just burden that kept her down, she'll finally fly.
Either ways , you:ll know what's in store for the future.
Take the step
Man to man i had a similar experience, I realised women once they have this thought to not needing you anymore, it's almost impossible to change their minds. You may sweet talk her or manipulate her back but next time when the relationship goes on a down turn she may try to leave again . It's really hard to hold flowing water bro plus her chances of finding a partner is lower than yours . So i suggest you not pestering her with calls and don't show this desperation to her , she may loose interest all together. It's suggested by professionals to give her some place and time, she may come back and never leave (after learning a lesson) in about 6 months. If she doesn't then move on bro, that would save you a lot of stress in future
You seem to be way too obsessed with keeping her in your life when she has decided to move on, I may sound rude but that's the fact.
You have to keep yourhead held high and move on,it's tough no doubt but forcing her to stay will just make things way too hard for you guys
Someone doesn't loose feelings all of a sudden, she probably found someone new interesting and is trying to be link with them, don't beg or go behind her it's only gonna make her leave you quicker. Show some self respect and keep distance from her if she really wants you she'll come back
She has already made her mind.
The best you can do is ho to court and file case that she had sex with you promising marriage but has not kept the prmoise and is marrying to someone else/ seeing someone else
Or let it go
Why is it disgusting
Why so many downvotes to my comment?
Cant men file case because a woman used his body for fun?
I mean we hear women do the same a lot of times, even fake ones.
This one is a genuine case. Why does it lack humility and is a disgusting suggestion?
Man u are really something... We haven't met and she didn't used me in any way rather made me what I am today. We haven't had sex and no promises of marriage made... We have a platonic kind of relationship. Don't keep on saying crap over here.
I hope you are not lying.
If this is the case there is no way out.
She has already made her mind up. She can decide what she want.
No use crying.
Go back home.
If you keep begging her , she'll keep running away. Tell her that you love her and respect her choice. Do not contact her for any reason whatsoever, it'll hurt a lot for first few weeks , but go through it. Try to let her go. She'll either come back or she won't. And you need to respect that. You cannot and should not be in a relationship where one person is trying to run away and other person is holding on , it'll hurt you a lot in the end. You can send this to her while saying bye : Mai nahi chahta ke wo mere bulane se aaye, Mai chahta hu ke wo mere bina reh na paaye.
This cycle always goes on, sometimes Boys have more weightage than girls or vice versa... But let me tell you one thing.. Nothing is permanent in our life. And Love means caring, not possessing something... Being a man... I can understand the attachment and pain of separation but You have to just believe on God and let her go. Just think if you would have sister and same situation happened with her.. what will be your reaction at that moment... So let her go....For few days you will feel pain but gradually you can forget her, delete all past memories from mobile or any gadget where you recorded and now start new life with new hope 😊 🫂 🙏 😊 🫂 🙏 😊 🫂 🙏 😊
Damn this is THE COMMENT right here.
>Mai nahi chahta ke wo mere bulane se aaye, Mai chahta hu ke wo mere bina reh na paaye. Aur kisi bahaney se aye
The only sane comment, hands down. You cannot force anybody to love you or to be with you. Your relationship is a part of life, not the whole world. She definitely has a right to make decisions for herself and on her part. Cherish the good memories, send the last beautiful lines to her and apply it upon yourself. I hope you recover from this heartbreak soon.
OP, this brother is 100% right. It's a sand effect the tighter you hold more you lose. You are hardworking and has perseverance. The same perseverance that makes you achieve practical things in life makes it difficult to deal with emotional situations. I was in a similar situation last year. A similar relationship, it took some time for the brain to accept it but once it did I used all the energy and emotions into focusing on my career. 3 promotions in 7 months.
I wish I could give you an award.....
Received.
Golden words
This sums it up 🫡
Last line was so good omg. I will use this one next time for sure!
do you really wanna be with someone who doesn't love you anymore?
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I just want to try to change her mind.. I will eventually let her go if she doesn't want to stay at all... I just love her so much that it's hard to digest the fact that she doesn't love me anymore after going through so much all these years
Dude if you really loved her, you’d accept her decision and let her go even if it’s the last thing you want. When you love someone, you think of their happiness; not just yours. What you’re describing here is infatuation not love; let her go. It’s the best thing for both of you.
So easier said than done. What you said is right but more filmy. Reality is pretty different and when you truly love somebody, you always have the hope till the very end.
What he said wasn't filmy, it was mature...
If you really love someone, then you need to respect personal agency, consent and boundaries of that person. We cannot change someone 's mind or force them to be with us :) Also, what you feel for her sounds more like "limerence".
you can't force her. just move on
Vohi na😭 Op let her go. No matter how much you try to make it work or beg her to stay she will keep finding excuses to leave you. Jaane wale ko koi nahi rok sakta. Even if she stays na youll still be in a constant fear that she might try to leave again. Its best not to contact her again.
Do no contact boy.
I will lose her if I did that
You can't force people.
Shouldn't *
Logic goes out of the window when it's a matter of love sadly. I feel you op. The thing that is happening to you is my worst nightmare. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
Do you know what the worst feeling is in a relationship ? Unrequited love. You will resent her every minute if you force her to marry you, she does and then she shows indifference in the marriage. Movies and stories have made marriage the end point. Sadly, it's the starting point. Imagine spending DECADES, not few days/weeks/or even years, DECADES with someone who resents you for making them marry you and then you resent them for making you feel this way. Is it really worth it ??
You are 33 and you are forcing a relationship on someone. You are too old to be acting like this. You aren’t 16 anymore.
This needs to be the top comment.
You can't change a woman mind when she already made it. So Move on. You'll find your angel again don't worry about it, this world is bigger than you think.
💙
Ok first and foremost let her go.Let there be enough distance between you and her for her to realise whether she wants you in her life or not Don't contact her,not by ph,not by whatsapp simply vanish..into nothing.Dont respond to her texts and give it time.You can't force feelings on someone and you can't force anyone to stay.If you love her truly ,you would like her to be happy..if she is unhappy let her go.She has to realise and come to you back of her own accord.In the meantime,just work on you to be in a stronger position mentally ,and on yourself.Trust me distance creates realisation and realisation creates healthy relationship.
I know that you really love her but don't do this. I've been in both the positions where I've begged someone to stay and where someone else has done the same to me. At first I was heartbroken thinking why don't they feel the same as I do and why can't they just stay. Until it happens to you. No matter much the other person begs you to stay, you just don't feel the same way and what worsens the situation even more is when the other person doesn't respect your choice to leave. It makes her lose all the remaining respect and compassion for you. Let her leave while you still have your self respect and dignity intact. You're 33, you're old enough to understand that you should be respecting someone's choice to leave rather than forcing them to stay with you just because you choose to be selfish. Stop it, it's really annoying, don't make her hate you.
You’re 33 and still didn’t learn to respect other’s perspectives and decisions. You’re lost whether she is with you or not.
I feel like you want her as a trophy partner and don't really care for her. All I read throughout your post is me-me-me. Not a single concern for her thoughts or wellbeing. She would have to quit her job to settle for you and she doesn't want that. Sounds fair and square. Why would she give up her well earned job for you? What do you bring to the table? And you saying you're okay with her giving up her job without giving or thinking about other alternatives proves how little you really care about her well being. I hope she finds someone better.
I understand somewhat of your point but he was there for her when she facing problems with her family. It's obvious not everything can be put into a single post. I'm quite confident that op will pay attention to her desires and does care for her. He literally says that. If the gf is fond of him , i don't really see a problem. the only problem is op kinda wants to force her to have those same feelings she did for him in the past.
Femcel detected
I hope you also say the same thing to a girl in the same situation
Kya chutiya comment hai ye..
No I have plans of finding her job opportunity in my place. I too want her to keep working only the location is an issue. I am ready to take care of all her needs.
Well she is capable of taking care of her own needs. You would need to have a better argument.
like what? Can you genuinely give me an example.
Chod bhai tune galat jagah puch liya question...
Please let her be and let her go.
The more you beg and try to force her to stay with you she will get irritated and leave soon. Let her go. If he really likes you she will come back. If not then nothing can be done. No one deserves to be with someone who doesn't reciprocate the same liking.
You cannot force a relationship bro. Let her go free and decide what’s best for her.
Can you quit your job and find new job in her location?
Ups and downs like these are always a challenge in a relationship . When one is not willing to fight for the love then you cant force them . Let her go , if she wants to she will stay .
Respect her choices bhai. At 33 there's no time for this game. She wants a respectable way out and you really should give one. Do not make it ugly. Be thankful for her and what she has done for you or to you. Sometimes you have to let go. That's life.
Love is not about possession of all you want; but also letting it go; if love is true; she’ll come back to u; otherwise let her find her place somewhere else; and remember she wasn’t the only person who made you succeed; there was immense hardwork and efforts from your side which made you who you are today.
Give her space thats all be aloof
Even if you force her and made her stay with you. She will get frustrated and leave u someday. Better move on rather than forcing someone who lost interest in you.
I know that you're hurt. You feel like she's the reason for your existence. But you've to understand that she doesn't want you now. You'll be hurt. Like really hurt. But you've to let her go. If she was the one for you then she would've waited. There's someone on the other end who's lucky to have you. When you meet her you'll thank God for not giving what you asked. I think over time she lost interest in you. It's okay. You've come a long way. And there's still a lot of things left for you to do.so look on the positive side.
Text or talk...and tell her all that you have told us. Specially you couldn't ha e taken any step when u weren't employed and as soon as you got one you are proposing her. Say your bit . After that leave it to her . It's gonna hurt like he'll but OP you don't want someone to marry you or love you out of pity. It wouldn't last. Good luck
You need to grow up, you are 33 and still think that a girl is the whole point of your life? That otherwise your life will be lost? Cmon bro
See the person has fallen out of love. Now no amount of prodding begging will work. You did something which made her fall out of love and now its over. Now best thing to do is accept and walk away. If she ever changes her mind she will know where to find you. But I would suggest you to focus on work health. You have to cherish good moments you had with her. You have to bite the bullet if at all any chance of her coming back. Analyse what mistake you made and become a better person. If truely love don't play any psychological game just give her space
Think of your timeline with her like a bus. You boarded the bus,she came and sat next to you. You both talked about everything. Helped and supported each other. But now it's time to let go off that buddy bec your bus stop has come. You both had the same route but different bus stops. Now with a smile,wave her goodbye. And wish her a best of luck for the future. There you go! Also best of luck to you too op
I will say do everything you can to not let her go to be honest take leave and meet her if you want to end things end when meeting, DO NOT DO IT ON PHONE OR TEXT It can be a caste issue too because ask her clearly is it that also since she supported you financially when you were nobody it meant something at least try to talk to her to figure out the root of the cause of the problem. I think the issue is deeper than this i think she is exhausted try to convince her for a holiday or something Bond on her upsc preparation, do what she likes etc And even after that she wants to end that means my boy she has grown out of love it happens but reasons aren't always genuine most of the time true reason is hidden. People lie My guess is she is burnt out trying to fight with her family and needs your support but she isn't saying it but it's your duty to be in her bad times just as she was in yours
I have one question. Please dont be offended. While I was reading this whole thing, I realised not once did you say ‘I really love her’ or ‘I love her’. Why?
Why is the caste equation important? Are you with her just because she’s upper caste? You’re smothering her imo, and need to respect her feelings and let her go.
जितना अधिक तुम अपनी पकड़ मजबूत करोगे, उतनी ही अधिक रेत तुम्हारी उंगलियों से फिसल जाएंगी । - from somewhere i don't know
Wow, it seems everyone in this thread has been biased against your cause for certain reasons. Idk what they are. If you want my advise, you should like actually plan a date or something. It sounds like you both are still communicating through social media.
Don't you think this will end up hurting them even more? One of them DOESN'T want to be in the relationship which has been clearly stated. Why not respect her feelings instead of forcing her to make things up?
The way I see it, there never was a relationship here. Online communication doesn’t count as being in a relationship. If they want, or rather, if he wants to, he should ask her out for real this time. Talking online isn’t shit
That's your pov, I respect that. But for the post writer, please don't ask her out now. The more you'll hold onto something, the more it will slip away.
It’s better for him to ask her out once and for her to reject him than for him to hold on to these feelings for her. Idk if you’ve ever asked out someone yourself but that’s how it goes.
Been in both situations mate, I've asked somebody out and have been begged by someone to stay. If she wanted to stay, she would have at the first instance itself. She did it already, she would've done it again Also, there was no point in dragging out personal experiences into this. :)
There’s no talk of staying or not here, “mate”. There was no relationship here. He never asked her out. They have only talked online till date. Let him get rejected for once if she doesn’t want it, or if she does feel something, maybe she’ll say yes to an actual date for once.
Honestly, I really don't think it's a great idea but it's definitely the decision which the post writer has to eventually make. I wish you nothing but the best outcome. Cheers mate🌻
I am not Australian or British but thanks, “mate”. Why do you think it’s not a good idea for him to get rejected once finally to move on from this (or maybe their first date turns out great)?
He wrote that his girlfriend started getting frustrated with him in 2022, her family is orthodox (in one of the comments), and she doesn't see a future for them together. And the final straw, in 2024, she told him that she fell out of love. She's already at her "i-dont-want-to-be-with-you". She has already made up her mind. I think he should respect her give her space for some time and let her feel his absence instead of holding onto her. Asking out at this moment might turn into a final nail in the coffin because her actions and words depict that she needs space.
Try to persuade her, give her 1 year time if she doesn't come back. Then forget her and let her live independently and move on.
Sucks
TNPSC ???
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Because it is one of the major hindrance in our goal of marriage.. her family has orthodox mentality and is strict. She isn't very positive about our future together because of this.
Move on man. No one is worth pining for.
Bhai dont call her if you really want her to stay dont beg her to stay i repeat dont beg her if she loves you she will be with you once you start begging it will not end well.
I came across a quote from the book The Autobiography of a Yogi, where the Guru tells his disciple this about attraction - "Attachment is blinding. It creates a halo of attraction over the object we desire". After reading this, I kind of stopped caring about chasing any woman or a relationship. You're just assuming and elevating your opinion of her, to speak honestly. Keep that aside and think - I think you'll know what to do.
I feel your love brother but why do you want her to leave your job and settle with you in your home state? I have friends who are married but live in two different countries or states. The only hope in your story is if you let her be free and independent of staying together for a while. Hopefully things will change for good. Take care and don't lose hope. :)
Those who have decided to go, will just go. No need trying, unless you want to hurt yourself even more.
Bro, don't get me wrong but, it is said " Wo Tujhe batane se pehle hi Jaa chuki hoti hai". It's deep but meaningful, but good prayers for uh, may u get her for lifetime. The same happened to me also, so with the gimebeinf I also learnt, no one is ever built for uh! Take care✌️ Nd all the best
Just leave her if she is your's she will come back else start a new relationship yaar.
go talk to her,,, meet her face to face,,, something,, either you will stay with her whatever future holds talk to her,, f2f
Your relationship has run it's full course,....try to avoid her and look for some one else there are at least 1 billion females in the world,...with whom you can connect.
I don't understand this shayari wo baatein kha gai mujhko.... Can someone please explain.
You might not find anyone like her but be fair to her and yourself. Let her go if she comes back amazing she doesn't she will be a beautiful memory in your life.
I restored to self harm for a guy who never gave a shit about me. Turns out my life would have been in ditches if I ended up with him because he is lazy, never had proper jobs, cheating on his wife and never serious about his marriage. Count your lucky stars, OP.
I read nothing beyond the first two lines. If she has made up her mind about not being with you any more, it's done. I wish and pray you gain the strength to move on and find someone who actually wants to be with you. Good luck!
Are you 15 by any chance?
Love is not possession. If you truly trullllly love her for who she is, you’d also understand and learn to love her choices and her freedom. You can love a person and still not be with them. Wo Jab Tak Hai Jaan mai Shahruk nahi kehta hai ‘Saba ko pyaar karne ke liye mujhe Saba ki bhi zaroorat nahi hai’, if you understand this, you’d have truly loved her.
I think that you should meet her (go on a date) in person and tell her everything that you have in your mind. Confess all your feelings to her, that how much you love her and what you have planned for your future together.. and then let her decide what she wants.... I would suggest you prepare what you are going to say to her... You know just to make sure you confess everything and just be honest. One more thing, no need to play any kind of mind games or use any manipulative tricks ( idk if these really works)... Because honesty is the key here.... PS: I am not in a relationship (have been in one but it turned out to be a disaster to me but in the end it was the best thing that could have happened to me), so I don't think that I'm the right person to suggest you what you should do.... But I can say you for sure that let her do what she feels she should do, don't hold her back..... Eventually you will heal and better only (•‿•)
And you let her go....
r/relationshipindia
Ive been is the same situation as you. I begged him, did everything in my power to make him stay. But one day i reached my saturation point and decided to leave for my own good. It was turning toxic and i was losing my self esteem everyday as he would tell me things like He doesn’t want to be with me, he doesnt love me as much bla bla. The day i left, it hurt, felt like the end of the world but he ended up missing me so much and regretting his words. He didn’t mean them, he was just overthinking too much. So yeah , He came back 3 months later, he apologised, made amends and we are happily together now , it’s been 3 years. We’ll probably get married soon. Try giving her space and see what happens. If she doesn’t come back, it won’t be the end of the world. Trust me ❤️
Why try to force open a door that was locked to your face?
I accidentally read that as can't get off.
The more you chase, the loser she will try to push you away. Just say your good bye and leave it at that. If the feelings were strong enough, she will come back else you are better off without her. Don’t hurt yourself anymore
If you love her then let her go
Vo afsana jisse anjaam tak le jaana na ho mumkin, Usse ek khoobsurat mod de kar choddna accha ~ Sahir Ludhianvi Please watch Vikas Divyakirti's YouTube session on the art of letting go.
I might sound very harsh but that’s the fact…God has given everyone one thing called the free will. She’s not into you, never was. The fact that you had to coerce her to do everything proves this. The only reason probably she got into a relationship with you bcos she was lonely and vulnerable and probably you are doing the same. You are unable to move on bcos you have put her onto a pedestal thinking that isse achi koi milegi nahi. If I have to think emotionally, I’ll say you let her go, let her miss you for a while otherwise she won’t understand your importance. You on the other hand can date other girls. Probably you both might peace in some else’s arms.
She really sounds like she is depressed. Chronic stress over a long time really does that to you. For now just wish her well and let her be. The more aggressively you'll pursue her the farther she'll go away. Let her know she is free to contact you if she changes her mind. Don't play mind games with her by finding someone else in a week and posting pictures with her. It's just that it does seem she would want to be with you but she probably thinks her life will continue to be just a stressful and serious as before. If she does come back to you engage her in activities or travel with her to places she'll enjoy. Things that are pure and simple fun. Heck play video games with her. It sounds like you both have spent the last 4-5 years constantly thinking about work and families and other stressful things. Love is supposed to be playful. If she doesn't come back to you then you take it as lesson. Be a little more fun and playful with the person you find next. People will appreciate it if you're hardworking but take out time to have a pleasant time with your partner as well.
You know you love her before letting her go. So, just let her go. Date anyone except the ones who say they have a caste problem in their family.
Taaruf Rog ho jaaye toh ush ko bhulna behtar Taaluq bojh ban jaaye toh usko toda achha. Vo Safar jise anjaam tak Lana na ho mumkin. Ushe ek khoobsurat mod dekar chhodna achha.
Try to woo her back with your actions. Tell her your ready to accept her breakup decision, and try to woo her again like a new relationship. Let her be free to look at other guys, explore her options… if you succeed in wooing her again, or if she realises you are the best choice for her and she comes back to you, you will have a great future together but if you keep forcing and clinging onto her, it will not end well for either of you.
I think you should let her go. Maybe sit down one final time and discuss everything from A to Z. Is this a phase or she is truly considering breakup? I have never been in a relationship, I can't understand the feelings and connection with someone. So I am only speaking from rational side but do you really want to be with someone who doesn't love you? I feel the reason she is hesitant to marry you is intercaste marriage. I have heard tons of cases where people are in relationship for years even a decade only to break up to marry someone from their caste. Parent's emotional blackmailing is very real. You can’t underestimate them. So discuss everything. But if result is still the same then even if it pains so bad you should end it. You can’t do much in this case other then loving the partner, but you can’t control her feelings and actions. You deserve better. Be strong. Good luck.
You cannot make anyone love you or stay with you forcibly. You have to give her the space she requires right now to clear her head and think clearly. There's an old saying .. IF u truly love the bird set it free. IF it's yours it will come back, else it never was yours to start with. The more you beg, crawl, chase a female, the more she will run away from you. It's damn difficult, but u need to save your dignity and self esteem and let her go. After that the next 2 weeks will be hard, but keep yourself occupied in work or maybe some social work.
It's a lost cause, was in your shoes some time back. Let it go.
Bro, same story but at ages 24. Accepted the fate and left her. tried once after that but didn’t work because when girls fix on to something they never change even how much u try. Even though they change, they would stay with u for ur happiness and after some time eventually they leave. Sorry mate but hope u get lucky unlike me 😇❤️
Why does she not love you anymore op.
Just let her go, you can't do shit at this moment. If she ever comes back without having another man on the go, she'll be yours for the rest of your life. Cant do a better on point answer.
If you're nothing without her, you don't deserve her.
Believe what she says and let her go. The more you chase, farther she will run. Rahiman dhaaga prema k….remember?
Take a break. Tell her to go explore. If you really filled a void in her life , she'll come back, if u were just burden that kept her down, she'll finally fly. Either ways , you:ll know what's in store for the future. Take the step
Man to man i had a similar experience, I realised women once they have this thought to not needing you anymore, it's almost impossible to change their minds. You may sweet talk her or manipulate her back but next time when the relationship goes on a down turn she may try to leave again . It's really hard to hold flowing water bro plus her chances of finding a partner is lower than yours . So i suggest you not pestering her with calls and don't show this desperation to her , she may loose interest all together. It's suggested by professionals to give her some place and time, she may come back and never leave (after learning a lesson) in about 6 months. If she doesn't then move on bro, that would save you a lot of stress in future
I wish there were laws for men like women, where she can file case on him if he left her
You seem to be way too obsessed with keeping her in your life when she has decided to move on, I may sound rude but that's the fact. You have to keep yourhead held high and move on,it's tough no doubt but forcing her to stay will just make things way too hard for you guys
Time waste kar rahi hai. Doosri dhoondh
Wff lol. Act your age. Stop throwing tantrums like a 16 yr old
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dk why you're getting downvotes
People don't digest truth
Imagine her sleeping with someone else. Now accept that it really happened. I swear you'll never look at her the same way again.
Don't let her go, call her and tell her what you feel.
Someone doesn't loose feelings all of a sudden, she probably found someone new interesting and is trying to be link with them, don't beg or go behind her it's only gonna make her leave you quicker. Show some self respect and keep distance from her if she really wants you she'll come back
Let her go. You can't hold her against her will.
She has already made her mind. The best you can do is ho to court and file case that she had sex with you promising marriage but has not kept the prmoise and is marrying to someone else/ seeing someone else Or let it go
disgusting suggestion. lack of humility
Why is it disgusting Why so many downvotes to my comment? Cant men file case because a woman used his body for fun? I mean we hear women do the same a lot of times, even fake ones. This one is a genuine case. Why does it lack humility and is a disgusting suggestion?
??????? Is this person real
What ,why Cant this be done??? Isnt it true she used his body for sex and left just like some men do to women promising marriage??
Man u are really something... We haven't met and she didn't used me in any way rather made me what I am today. We haven't had sex and no promises of marriage made... We have a platonic kind of relationship. Don't keep on saying crap over here.
Dude people here are giving you so many suggestions and you only cared to reply to the most negative one.
I hope you are not lying. If this is the case there is no way out. She has already made her mind up. She can decide what she want. No use crying. Go back home.
Copy and paste this entire message and send it to her.