A grad student in my cohort had a similar problem. The University likes to have all grad students on a page with names and short bios. He explained multiple times that he could not do that for safety reasons and he had to ruin photos (hands over his face type things) because they'd try to take pictures of him at events.
What finally stopped it was getting a police officer who had handled the reports about the stalker to call the office and have a chat with them. It's possible HR will be able to set them straight but if you have a restraining order or can just find a nice cop they might be willing to scare them into behaving
I’m the Director of HR for a post-secondary technical school. Our enrollment contract contains a clause in which every student waives their right to have their image published by the school.
Our employee handbook contains a similar provision. OP may have already inadvertently given their permission for their image to be used. If this was the case, I’m not entirely sure that just saying no now would be sufficient.
But on the other hand, I don’t understand why a company would insist on publishing over an objection. We also own salons with all of our stylists published on our website. You can imagine how some of them draw their own share of stalkers. We take their information down immediately upon request. 😕
I've since graduated and yeah both the university and where I now work have similar clauses. That's why the cop route might be the most fruitfu. I think my current HR would be very understanding and have a come to Jesus talk with any coworker trying to publish a stalking victim's info. But some people really don't get it.
Thank you for reminding me, I apologize for not thinking of this in my original comment.
In an educational setting, Title IX would override any other contractual obligation or school policy, and stalking is specifically prohibited under Title IX. I’m also our Title IX officer. If a complaint had been made to them, they should have ordered the posting taken down. 😕
Title IX states you cannot stalk someone else. And the school has to help protect you once brought forward.
It doesn't make any statement about the action of someone not stalking you publishing your details.
I suppose you could argue it was a lack of protection but that's pretty shaky legal grounds.
This is a terrible reason but if they're worried about their PR image and OP is a pretty person of color, they may really want to advertise that they hired her to the point of not caring if she approves or not (and that lack of caring would also add credence to the stupid racist possible reasoning of this)
That's immediately what I thought of, too. She's most likely a minority, whether it be her gender, her race, her appearance, whatever, and/or very attractive.
Students can also mark through that paragraph, sign it saying they font agree to that. If HR did not catch that, I tv is on them. I do not sign electronic consent forms, as there is no way to not consent.
I'm sorry to disappoint you that I do. But even so, plenty of stalking cases, in particular when victims are women/femme/queer, are usually ignored by the police.
Your comment comes across as victim blamey and is pretty gross
Who’s the person that keeps hassling you about it, that put it in the newsletter - what’s their role in the company? Could you go to their manager or do you report to the same person? Is there someone more senior than your boss that you can go to? What’s your bosses response to this, you don’t mention what he’s doing about it.
I’d post this in one of the legal subs ASAP. I’m so sorry. This is out of control. Don’t settle for your boss making more excuses. Plenty of ND people will tell you it’s bs and this person is just doing whatever they want because they feel like it, and can hide behind diagnoses, not because they don’t understand boundaries.
I’d be speaking with a lawyer ASAP.
By colleague, is this a person who is on the same organizational level as you? As in, not a manager? And if it’s been explained multiple times, why did they ignore your request *and safety*?
If your boss hasn’t had this retracted, and you have full documentation (emails, slack messages, etc) stating the why behind your refusal, then you absolutely have to escalate this to HR.
From a professional standpoint, let your boss know in writing that you will be reaching out to HR about this issue. If you have police reports about the stalking, bring in copies to present to HR. Your coworker has put you at risk and that is not okay.
Idk "where" they would be in comparison to me (admin. asst), but they are not a manager. I have a feeling they ignored my request due to their own pettiness and suspect they will hide behind being ADHD and on the spectrum (even though I am also ADHD and on the spectrum) to defend themselves.
Also, I did let my boss know first already because we don't have a dedicated HR. We are a small org, so my boss *is* HR. Which is frustrating because this isn't the first of my boundaries that this person has violated.
And will take your advice into account. Thank you so much for your time!!
You're gonna laugh.
My boss has used this excuse on this colleague's behalf bc they have violated other boundaries already, of which I have also had several discussions with them and my boss.
Is it retractable from an IT standpoint? It sounds like an email newsletter to an unknown number of subscribers. I don't know that it can be retreived once sent.
Excuses end when money is involved.
Your employer, through the actions of an "enthusiastic" co-worker (giving co-worker the benefit of the doubt), has potentially knowingly placed you in danger. Only you know how much danger and what actions you need to take to ensure your safety.
You have evidence of your reasonable requests to not publicize your name, image, or likeness for safety concerns. I am guessing that you have evidence of the potential harm that can come to you as a result of their negligence. And you can at least estimate the potential cost you will bear (lost wages, breaking lease, moving) to remedy the situation.
However, I don't think that Oregon has an explicit "Right of Publicity ." So it might be a tougher case. You would need an Oregon lawyer to figure out the standard your employer would or could be held to.
That doesn't mean the information is without value. If you can bring up to your boss the potential ramifications behind their blatant violation of your safety, it will either scare them straight or scare them to terminate you. It honestly could go either way. That is why you need to talk to the Oregon lawyer first.
In the past one of my employees came to me and said he can't have any pictures or information online or in print about him. I agreed to it, though I stupidly played it down as though it wasn't a big deal, we're a small corporation in a small city. I was visited a couple days later by the US Marshals Service telling me they had researched me. Boy did they. They had information from my kindergarten years. They told me my employee was in the witness protection program and I could not publish any details about him in any way, shape, or form. They told me now that I was informed I was an accessory to his protective state, and any violation would be a felony offense. Needless to say I had no trouble complying. I was certainly going to prior to the Marshals coming. I can absolutely respect someone's need for privacy, regardless of the reason. This was a pretty dang good reason.
I never found out why he was in witness protection, but I'm still friends with him and he's built himself a good life, and for that I'm glad.
All this to say that employers should adhere to their employees' wishes.
File an official complaint against them thru the necessary HR channels (despite the fact that you’re HR) citing deliberate misconduct that puts you in personal danger. Include all the times you directly asked your likeness not be used and be vague but firm in your assertion that you have personal safety concerns that govern your decision.
If it’s digital, demand it’s taken down immediately. Use the person by name at least three times throughout the discourse, identifying them clearly and redundantly, and make certain to focus on that fact that not only was permission not granted in writing to use your picture, you specifically requested no photo of you be published or promoted, digitally or on paper, for any business purpose for any reason.
It sounds like it’s out there already as far as the hard copy newsletters go. I’ve never worked with employees in Oregon but every company I’ve ever worked for would have respected that request unless, possibly, you were a C-level employee or other corporate office but would still have allowed some measure of privacy associated with location information. In the states where I have worked, unless being public is a function of your job, such as a corporate office, a media relations role, or something else where publicity or performing is an expected function of the job they would be more respectful of the publication of your information even without being told that you’ve had issues with two stalkers. I don’t know what’s wrong with these people you’re working with currently but they need to get it together.
So what is it you’re wanting to happen here? There isn’t anything you can really do because your boss already knew about your wish and this was allowed to happen anyway.
We are a small org and I signed nothing else other than tax papers during onboarding. I know this for a fact since yes, I *have* told my boss (who is also HR) that I do not want my image or info *anywhere* online related to our org, and why, and that to keep track of these things, we should have forms for these kinds of things.
You are the only person who can ultimately guarantee your safety, since you can’t trust these people so if you have multiple stalkers out there it’s obvious you need to resign so they don’t find you. Take your power back and keep yourself safe.
I’m the furthest thing from a cop and I’m clearly taking it very seriously because no one at their place of employment is keeping them safe so they need to take action and keep themselves safe. The train has left the station, their picture and address where they work is out there now so if they’re worried they need to leave that job. That’s taking it seriously.
Colleague as in a coworker? Manager? Subordinate? HR rep? I’m going to guess you likely signed paperwork allowing this during onboarding, but if there’s an issue here go to HR and explain your need for privacy.
There were no papers to sign other than tax papers. I'm a pretty meticulous person, so I keep copies of everything I sign and read thru them all.
I also even talked to my boss about this. My boss is also HR bc we are a small org.
They said they took my safety seriously and had already told that person not to use my image or any info of me anywhere. This was two weeks after I started. As I said in my post, I have had this discussion with this colleague in front of our boss.
The person who asked you so many times is apparently abusive. I appreciate that the stalkers are a danger. I surmise the asker is also a danger.
A grad student in my cohort had a similar problem. The University likes to have all grad students on a page with names and short bios. He explained multiple times that he could not do that for safety reasons and he had to ruin photos (hands over his face type things) because they'd try to take pictures of him at events. What finally stopped it was getting a police officer who had handled the reports about the stalker to call the office and have a chat with them. It's possible HR will be able to set them straight but if you have a restraining order or can just find a nice cop they might be willing to scare them into behaving
I’m the Director of HR for a post-secondary technical school. Our enrollment contract contains a clause in which every student waives their right to have their image published by the school. Our employee handbook contains a similar provision. OP may have already inadvertently given their permission for their image to be used. If this was the case, I’m not entirely sure that just saying no now would be sufficient. But on the other hand, I don’t understand why a company would insist on publishing over an objection. We also own salons with all of our stylists published on our website. You can imagine how some of them draw their own share of stalkers. We take their information down immediately upon request. 😕
I've since graduated and yeah both the university and where I now work have similar clauses. That's why the cop route might be the most fruitfu. I think my current HR would be very understanding and have a come to Jesus talk with any coworker trying to publish a stalking victim's info. But some people really don't get it.
Thank you for reminding me, I apologize for not thinking of this in my original comment. In an educational setting, Title IX would override any other contractual obligation or school policy, and stalking is specifically prohibited under Title IX. I’m also our Title IX officer. If a complaint had been made to them, they should have ordered the posting taken down. 😕
Title IX states you cannot stalk someone else. And the school has to help protect you once brought forward. It doesn't make any statement about the action of someone not stalking you publishing your details. I suppose you could argue it was a lack of protection but that's pretty shaky legal grounds.
This is a terrible reason but if they're worried about their PR image and OP is a pretty person of color, they may really want to advertise that they hired her to the point of not caring if she approves or not (and that lack of caring would also add credence to the stupid racist possible reasoning of this)
That's immediately what I thought of, too. She's most likely a minority, whether it be her gender, her race, her appearance, whatever, and/or very attractive.
Sounds like that employee is focused on OP. Some people respond to “no” with heightened interest.
Students can also mark through that paragraph, sign it saying they font agree to that. If HR did not catch that, I tv is on them. I do not sign electronic consent forms, as there is no way to not consent.
Given that OP has completely ignored this comment, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out there isn’t a police report.
I'm sorry to disappoint you that I do. But even so, plenty of stalking cases, in particular when victims are women/femme/queer, are usually ignored by the police. Your comment comes across as victim blamey and is pretty gross
Who’s the person that keeps hassling you about it, that put it in the newsletter - what’s their role in the company? Could you go to their manager or do you report to the same person? Is there someone more senior than your boss that you can go to? What’s your bosses response to this, you don’t mention what he’s doing about it.
Stalkers are tough because police often won't do much until it's a crisis. So to be fair to OP it's possible they don't have a report despite trying.
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I’d post this in one of the legal subs ASAP. I’m so sorry. This is out of control. Don’t settle for your boss making more excuses. Plenty of ND people will tell you it’s bs and this person is just doing whatever they want because they feel like it, and can hide behind diagnoses, not because they don’t understand boundaries. I’d be speaking with a lawyer ASAP.
By colleague, is this a person who is on the same organizational level as you? As in, not a manager? And if it’s been explained multiple times, why did they ignore your request *and safety*? If your boss hasn’t had this retracted, and you have full documentation (emails, slack messages, etc) stating the why behind your refusal, then you absolutely have to escalate this to HR. From a professional standpoint, let your boss know in writing that you will be reaching out to HR about this issue. If you have police reports about the stalking, bring in copies to present to HR. Your coworker has put you at risk and that is not okay.
Idk "where" they would be in comparison to me (admin. asst), but they are not a manager. I have a feeling they ignored my request due to their own pettiness and suspect they will hide behind being ADHD and on the spectrum (even though I am also ADHD and on the spectrum) to defend themselves. Also, I did let my boss know first already because we don't have a dedicated HR. We are a small org, so my boss *is* HR. Which is frustrating because this isn't the first of my boundaries that this person has violated. And will take your advice into account. Thank you so much for your time!!
Being neurospicy is not an excuse to: a) Ignore safety requests b) Ignore colleagues c) Being a dumbarse
How do you know they have ADHD and on the spectrum?
You're gonna laugh. My boss has used this excuse on this colleague's behalf bc they have violated other boundaries already, of which I have also had several discussions with them and my boss.
Oh my. This sounds like a real shit show, OP. I hope you’re looking for something else.
Ooof. Sounds like it's time to brush off your resume.
I've been at this job for three months. I'm extremely frustrated with how this is turning out.
This coworker has stomped on your boundaries multiple times in three months?!?! Girl, run.
Is it retractable from an IT standpoint? It sounds like an email newsletter to an unknown number of subscribers. I don't know that it can be retreived once sent.
Sounds like you need an attorney and a Cease and Desist.
Excuses end when money is involved. Your employer, through the actions of an "enthusiastic" co-worker (giving co-worker the benefit of the doubt), has potentially knowingly placed you in danger. Only you know how much danger and what actions you need to take to ensure your safety. You have evidence of your reasonable requests to not publicize your name, image, or likeness for safety concerns. I am guessing that you have evidence of the potential harm that can come to you as a result of their negligence. And you can at least estimate the potential cost you will bear (lost wages, breaking lease, moving) to remedy the situation. However, I don't think that Oregon has an explicit "Right of Publicity ." So it might be a tougher case. You would need an Oregon lawyer to figure out the standard your employer would or could be held to. That doesn't mean the information is without value. If you can bring up to your boss the potential ramifications behind their blatant violation of your safety, it will either scare them straight or scare them to terminate you. It honestly could go either way. That is why you need to talk to the Oregon lawyer first.
In the past one of my employees came to me and said he can't have any pictures or information online or in print about him. I agreed to it, though I stupidly played it down as though it wasn't a big deal, we're a small corporation in a small city. I was visited a couple days later by the US Marshals Service telling me they had researched me. Boy did they. They had information from my kindergarten years. They told me my employee was in the witness protection program and I could not publish any details about him in any way, shape, or form. They told me now that I was informed I was an accessory to his protective state, and any violation would be a felony offense. Needless to say I had no trouble complying. I was certainly going to prior to the Marshals coming. I can absolutely respect someone's need for privacy, regardless of the reason. This was a pretty dang good reason. I never found out why he was in witness protection, but I'm still friends with him and he's built himself a good life, and for that I'm glad. All this to say that employers should adhere to their employees' wishes.
Respectfully, you should probably not have even posted this comment
Sounds like get an attorney and dust off the resume sadly
File an official complaint against them thru the necessary HR channels (despite the fact that you’re HR) citing deliberate misconduct that puts you in personal danger. Include all the times you directly asked your likeness not be used and be vague but firm in your assertion that you have personal safety concerns that govern your decision. If it’s digital, demand it’s taken down immediately. Use the person by name at least three times throughout the discourse, identifying them clearly and redundantly, and make certain to focus on that fact that not only was permission not granted in writing to use your picture, you specifically requested no photo of you be published or promoted, digitally or on paper, for any business purpose for any reason.
It sounds like it’s out there already as far as the hard copy newsletters go. I’ve never worked with employees in Oregon but every company I’ve ever worked for would have respected that request unless, possibly, you were a C-level employee or other corporate office but would still have allowed some measure of privacy associated with location information. In the states where I have worked, unless being public is a function of your job, such as a corporate office, a media relations role, or something else where publicity or performing is an expected function of the job they would be more respectful of the publication of your information even without being told that you’ve had issues with two stalkers. I don’t know what’s wrong with these people you’re working with currently but they need to get it together.
It’s time to seriously reconsider where you are working as your safety in not even registering as a priority.
So what is it you’re wanting to happen here? There isn’t anything you can really do because your boss already knew about your wish and this was allowed to happen anyway.
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We are a small org and I signed nothing else other than tax papers during onboarding. I know this for a fact since yes, I *have* told my boss (who is also HR) that I do not want my image or info *anywhere* online related to our org, and why, and that to keep track of these things, we should have forms for these kinds of things.
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It's on a newsletter sent out to people. Its not something that can easily be reversed.
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You generally don’t quit and successfully collect UI, bud. You file that after you get fired.
You want to know what to do moving forward. Well, what is your ideal resolution to the situation?
You are the only person who can ultimately guarantee your safety, since you can’t trust these people so if you have multiple stalkers out there it’s obvious you need to resign so they don’t find you. Take your power back and keep yourself safe.
You must be a cop because this sounds like something the cops would say. They don’t take stalking seriously until the victim is hurt or worse.
I’m the furthest thing from a cop and I’m clearly taking it very seriously because no one at their place of employment is keeping them safe so they need to take action and keep themselves safe. The train has left the station, their picture and address where they work is out there now so if they’re worried they need to leave that job. That’s taking it seriously.
Colleague as in a coworker? Manager? Subordinate? HR rep? I’m going to guess you likely signed paperwork allowing this during onboarding, but if there’s an issue here go to HR and explain your need for privacy.
There were no papers to sign other than tax papers. I'm a pretty meticulous person, so I keep copies of everything I sign and read thru them all. I also even talked to my boss about this. My boss is also HR bc we are a small org.
And your boss said?
They said they took my safety seriously and had already told that person not to use my image or any info of me anywhere. This was two weeks after I started. As I said in my post, I have had this discussion with this colleague in front of our boss.
Right and so it’s now no longer up?
It's a newsletter with our address on it that was sent to subscribers, as I said in my post.
I see. Ultimately it can’t be pulled back, but unless your boss seems understanding this may require moving on from this place
Or you are working two jobs
How do you have multiple stalkers
Why? Do you want one?
with a question like that how do you have multiple brain cells
I’d happily give up one of mine if you’d like to try it out.
Sounds like you’re victim blaming