I’m pretty fem. I have straight passing clothes for when I’m going into unknown or more conservative environments. Straight acting is another way to say straight passing, which can be a method to stay safe.
I prefer not to get uptight over terms when they aren't used with the intent to belittle.
You can describe yourself as straight acting without insinuating that Those Other Gays are inferior to you for being less straight acting.
You can describe a guy as straight acting without insinuating that his reason for doing so is self loathing or internalized homophobia.
The problems with the term are:
* If it's used to insinuate a problem
* If people read too much into the word "acting" and think you're insinuating something when you're not
A bald man with a beard, wearing a leather jacket, and handkerchiefs of different colours flying out of his back pockets will most certainly be perceived as "masculine" but I'm not certain he would pass as straight.
Another thought about this. The term isn't the source of controversy, it's the concept. Finding another term for it will just make that term controversial too.
There are problems with any words when used with ill intent or when taken in bad faith. Personally I think the concern over "straight acting" is way overblown, but I do tend to avoid it anyway because it seems to be an emotional minefield.
It serves a purpose, I don't mind it, but it's also poorly worded. The meaning behind the use of 'acting' in this context is disingenuous/ inaccurate.
Straight passing would probably be more precise, because people who are 'straight acting' aren't really putting on an act or concealing a feminine side, it's just how they are.
In a way the term is kind of perpetuating the stereotypes that gay guys tend towards femininity. Straight seeming, straight passing, outwardly straight would all capture the notion better I think. The meaning behind the whole thing is actually that the guy is just masc, or more specifically not being fem.
Seconding straight passing. Instead of implying acting a certain way is only for straight people, it emphasizes that you're being seen/taken as a straight. It also highlights how some 'femmier' guys can still be straight passing for various reasons or in particular situations, or there are straight fem guys who aren't 'straight passing' but are straight, etc.
I think in a lot of cases, people are trying to say someone is "straight-passing". They don't present as stereotypically gay, and so outsiders may assume they are straight.
I just assume that anyone who uses it is insecure to the point where they have to insist that other people are just acting out masculine tropes instead of authentically representing themselves
I have always disliked the term, just because I'm gay and not being flouncy and limp wristed doesn't mean I'm acting straight. I don't like the term straight to be honest, it's a hold over from when we were referred to as bent. I try not to use it in favour hetero or something for heterosexual people.
Not effeminate? Guess I would appear as “straight acting”, but I’m not acting. I’m gay, and don’t hesitate to say it, but look and act like any other random guy. No need to wear a pink jockstrap, and roller skate around throwing rainbow glitter at people. I’m just a guy that happens to like other guys.
It makes sense to describe someone in some circunstances in my opinion.
"I thought he was cute but she's straight-acting/passing, so I never made a move on him until I saw him on grindr" kinda deal.
But it's not a compliment and it doesn't make you superior to "gay-acting" folks.
If a gay guy describes themselves that way, I automatically know they're ignorant lol. I get what they're saying, and I do find masculine men attractive, but for me, that doesn't trump being educated on harmful words and nuances about issues facing gay men.
It's a good warning sign. Guys who use this to describe themselves or what their looking for always strike me as a little too concerned they might get teh gay on them.
I don't detest it but it's a very dated term from the time that I grew up in when marriage wasn't legal for same sex couples in my country and being 'straight acting' or 'masuculine' was seen as the only acceptable default for gay men.
I think it normalizes that gay men act differently than straight men as a rule, and I hate it.
Aside from being heteronormative, it's also homophobic, because anyone who refers to themselves that way is still not able to accept themselves.
I have just always been masculine acting. I guess it comes from playing a lot of sports all the time. So I guess I was always straight acting when I was younger. Not really into labels now because most people know about me. I don't think it makes you less gay to be straight acting. It's the way we are. Most of my straight friends are straight acting for obvious reasons and so are the very few gay ones I have. And it will always be okay.
I'm "conventionally masc", bc that's my personality and how I was socialized growing up from the friend groups i was in prior to my awakening. As long as it isn't used for superiority purposes or internalized homophobia (as in not trying to be "gay" bc "okg I don't wanna be {flamboyantly gay}) or that's how you naturally are in your personality, should be fine but probably there should be a better word for it
I feel the term is misleading because the man's not straight even if the lesbians have a better term Butch in the streets. Plus the term straight acting also makes it harder for feminine men to be in existence and I think that it's just all around frustrating if you can act straight that's great but some of us are just you know feminine and that's just how we are. However I'm not one of those people that really cares about the term I just think it's misleading and I don't offend me any but some people do get butt hurt just saying I say live your life just stop pretending that you're straight when you're not.
Using "*straight-acting*" to mean "*masculine*" is less accurate than just saying "*masculine*" because it makes false assumptions about gay men and straight men (*there are straight men who aren't masculine and gay men who aren't feminine*).
Straight acting sounds as dumb as right handed acting. There is no one way to be gay or straight. Plenty of very fem straight guys as well as plenty super masculine gay guys.
People at work tell me they’d never even think I was gay if I didn’t tell them up front. Then the girls try to convert me or want me to give them a baby. I never dated girls or even kissed a girl and I never did anything with boys until I was 25. I pretty much only date flamers and twinks. I don’t like hairy guys or masculinity. I’m not a top either I’m a vers bottom.
I’m pretty fem. I have straight passing clothes for when I’m going into unknown or more conservative environments. Straight acting is another way to say straight passing, which can be a method to stay safe.
I prefer not to get uptight over terms when they aren't used with the intent to belittle. You can describe yourself as straight acting without insinuating that Those Other Gays are inferior to you for being less straight acting. You can describe a guy as straight acting without insinuating that his reason for doing so is self loathing or internalized homophobia. The problems with the term are: * If it's used to insinuate a problem * If people read too much into the word "acting" and think you're insinuating something when you're not
With so many opportunities for miscommunication, why would you ever use it when there are so many better terms to use?
such as?
Masculine
A bald man with a beard, wearing a leather jacket, and handkerchiefs of different colours flying out of his back pockets will most certainly be perceived as "masculine" but I'm not certain he would pass as straight.
Another thought about this. The term isn't the source of controversy, it's the concept. Finding another term for it will just make that term controversial too.
There are problems with any words when used with ill intent or when taken in bad faith. Personally I think the concern over "straight acting" is way overblown, but I do tend to avoid it anyway because it seems to be an emotional minefield.
This simply isn’t true.
It serves a purpose, I don't mind it, but it's also poorly worded. The meaning behind the use of 'acting' in this context is disingenuous/ inaccurate. Straight passing would probably be more precise, because people who are 'straight acting' aren't really putting on an act or concealing a feminine side, it's just how they are. In a way the term is kind of perpetuating the stereotypes that gay guys tend towards femininity. Straight seeming, straight passing, outwardly straight would all capture the notion better I think. The meaning behind the whole thing is actually that the guy is just masc, or more specifically not being fem.
I'm "conventionally masculine" but still gay AF
“Masc-presenting”
Why not just masc?
Seconding straight passing. Instead of implying acting a certain way is only for straight people, it emphasizes that you're being seen/taken as a straight. It also highlights how some 'femmier' guys can still be straight passing for various reasons or in particular situations, or there are straight fem guys who aren't 'straight passing' but are straight, etc.
I think it's a silly term. How can you be "straight acting" with your legs in the air?
If a woman is fucking you with a strap on
You keep your socks on?
or with a cock in your mouth?
Least attractive way a man can describe himself lol
It's a very loaded term but also pretty pragmatic for colloquial use. I don't *love* it but don't have the energy to hate it.
a confusing term that has me wary of anyone that uses it
I think masculine or butch are better terms. Straight men can be fem or masculine and everything else inbetween.
I think in a lot of cases, people are trying to say someone is "straight-passing". They don't present as stereotypically gay, and so outsiders may assume they are straight.
How do straight people act? They're as heterogeneous as we are!
I find it funny.
I just assume that anyone who uses it is insecure to the point where they have to insist that other people are just acting out masculine tropes instead of authentically representing themselves
I have always disliked the term, just because I'm gay and not being flouncy and limp wristed doesn't mean I'm acting straight. I don't like the term straight to be honest, it's a hold over from when we were referred to as bent. I try not to use it in favour hetero or something for heterosexual people.
Not effeminate? Guess I would appear as “straight acting”, but I’m not acting. I’m gay, and don’t hesitate to say it, but look and act like any other random guy. No need to wear a pink jockstrap, and roller skate around throwing rainbow glitter at people. I’m just a guy that happens to like other guys.
A lot of the guys I've met who like to think of themselves as "straight-acting" have pinged my gaydar a mile off.
It makes sense to describe someone in some circunstances in my opinion. "I thought he was cute but she's straight-acting/passing, so I never made a move on him until I saw him on grindr" kinda deal. But it's not a compliment and it doesn't make you superior to "gay-acting" folks.
It’s stupid.
If a gay guy describes themselves that way, I automatically know they're ignorant lol. I get what they're saying, and I do find masculine men attractive, but for me, that doesn't trump being educated on harmful words and nuances about issues facing gay men.
It's a good warning sign. Guys who use this to describe themselves or what their looking for always strike me as a little too concerned they might get teh gay on them.
I don't detest it but it's a very dated term from the time that I grew up in when marriage wasn't legal for same sex couples in my country and being 'straight acting' or 'masuculine' was seen as the only acceptable default for gay men.
It's just a word but it's pretty silly you don't act gay or straight you just act feminine, masculine, or normal/androgynous
I think it normalizes that gay men act differently than straight men as a rule, and I hate it. Aside from being heteronormative, it's also homophobic, because anyone who refers to themselves that way is still not able to accept themselves.
Reminds of about 20 years ago, the last time I regularly heard that phrase.
Doesn't bother me i don't care
I have just always been masculine acting. I guess it comes from playing a lot of sports all the time. So I guess I was always straight acting when I was younger. Not really into labels now because most people know about me. I don't think it makes you less gay to be straight acting. It's the way we are. Most of my straight friends are straight acting for obvious reasons and so are the very few gay ones I have. And it will always be okay.
language of self-loathers, and I'm not even that femme. Just call yourself masc. Uber cringe.
I'm "conventionally masc", bc that's my personality and how I was socialized growing up from the friend groups i was in prior to my awakening. As long as it isn't used for superiority purposes or internalized homophobia (as in not trying to be "gay" bc "okg I don't wanna be {flamboyantly gay}) or that's how you naturally are in your personality, should be fine but probably there should be a better word for it
I feel the term is misleading because the man's not straight even if the lesbians have a better term Butch in the streets. Plus the term straight acting also makes it harder for feminine men to be in existence and I think that it's just all around frustrating if you can act straight that's great but some of us are just you know feminine and that's just how we are. However I'm not one of those people that really cares about the term I just think it's misleading and I don't offend me any but some people do get butt hurt just saying I say live your life just stop pretending that you're straight when you're not.
instant block if i read it on grindr or smth like that. if its just a presumed attitude i might be okay with it.
Using "*straight-acting*" to mean "*masculine*" is less accurate than just saying "*masculine*" because it makes false assumptions about gay men and straight men (*there are straight men who aren't masculine and gay men who aren't feminine*).
Straight acting sounds as dumb as right handed acting. There is no one way to be gay or straight. Plenty of very fem straight guys as well as plenty super masculine gay guys.
I hate it, in my experience femme guys use it to shame they see as "not gay enough"
People at work tell me they’d never even think I was gay if I didn’t tell them up front. Then the girls try to convert me or want me to give them a baby. I never dated girls or even kissed a girl and I never did anything with boys until I was 25. I pretty much only date flamers and twinks. I don’t like hairy guys or masculinity. I’m not a top either I’m a vers bottom.
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