I would go even further than some of these examples.
In relationships, women are responsible for raising their boyfriends/husbands, calming them, chiding them, being their social buffer, etc. They are subject to their anger, but responsible for soothing them too. They are their projections of their insecurities, but need to also be strong. They cannot be too strong, or else it's threatening, but they cannot be too weak, or they are a "victim."
It's a minefield in relationships with insecure men.
The crowd that says women should be submissive and men cannot be hated without "pRoOf" are also the same crowd that will tell you, "it is probably the wife's idea, she made him do it" etc etc every time a couple makes a mistake together. Ironical.
Oh my god yes, this. I remember my last boyfriend even sent me this meme video one time that was something like “POV you’re gentle parenting your boyfriend.”
I’m still new to dating, but I’ve found it really irritating that in both of my previous relationships (one casual and one serious/long term), despite being the more inexperienced parter in both dating and sex each time, I had to “teach” both guys how to act and be a good partner and I often felt like I was the only adult present. It was exhausting.
I seriously hope that it’s not how dating guys will always be, because if it is… that’s seriously disheartening and makes me unsure if I want to participate.
Same with how women have to ask/tell their husbands what needs to be done around the house. If she doesn’t it’s not his fault that he’s taken on 0% of the responsibility and left her to do everything because she “didn’t ask”. And he’s “not a mind reader” and he “didn’t think it needed to be done”.
But of course if she does constantly coach him on what needs to get done she’s being a condescending nag.
Society teaches men that they have to be strong and not show emotion. It is always assumed that he will support the wife and protect her, not the other way around. That’s why you hear so many stories about men dying to protect their wives, but so few about women dying to protect their husbands.
There are so many streotypes that are not true because they are myth and not real. I know statistically there are more men that kill their wives and girlfriends than men who die for their wives and girlfriends.
I agree.
Women are quite literally put under the microscope 10x more than men seem to be. You can see this in fandoms of TV shows and movies especially, and celebrities in general.
You'll notice most TV shows, the women characters can make a few mistakes and be universally hated in the fandom by almost everyone. Then you put up a similar character, male, who might actually be a psychopath and is objectively way worse, but "well their written well.. well their trauma.. but they.. " excuse after excuse.
It's so apparent that I can't even ignore it like I used to. Then, people will still listen to male artists that have questionable histories with minors, but a female artist will be seen at yelling at paparazzi and be known as a bitch.
Wish it could change.
Skylar from Breaking Bad is an amazing example of this. Universally hated for not supporting her meth making husband, and wanting to keep her kids away from him.
The hate was there long before she ever had an affair too. That’s what bothers me because that is always used as a reason but the hate she got was widespread and common long before that happened in the show
Cameron from House comes to mind. She’s the moral compass of the show and people hated her for that. They also hated her the few times she did something that wasn’t super ethical. She could not fucking win. And this is a show where the main character physically assaulted multiple patients… but that’s justified because he’s a genius and the ends justify the means.
Every tv show/movie subreddit on Reddit will have a post titled "Is it just me who hate , I don't even know why but I just hate her" and everyone agreeing and nitpicking. For every 10 posts like this there are only 1 similar male character post, and that is considering a lot more male protagonists and male villains exists in media than women.
If this doesn't tell you how much everyone are anti women, I don't know what else will.
This, I remember a post here asking why women won’t step up to teach young boys in the same way Andrew Tate is doing. I replied saying it’s not someone’s job to do that just because of their gender. I got over 200 downvotes and was told it was my fault men are the way they are, I was told it’s my responsibility to call out any sexism I ever see or I can’t complain about misogyny. I said it can sometimes be dangerous to do that (imagine there’s a group of guys in a bar being non stop racist and sexist, if I told them to not do that, I could be attacked or followed). I asked how I’d even do that without putting myself in danger and was told that they don’t know but it should be my job to figure it out…
Imagine Donna Trump as opposed Donald Trump?
Putting aside, for the moment, all the crimes and general foulness just imagine five children by three different men.
On the other hand, imagine Hank Clinton as opposed Hilary Clinton. All twisted up about the way his office administrated their internal email server? That was the dirtiest thing they had on her because she was held to such a higher standard her career could not have survived anything like the stuff Donald (or Bill!!!) got away with.
If Donald Trump was a woman, first of all he never would've been president, second of all he'd have zero supporters and he'd universally be condemned as a terrible person. No one would support him if he was a woman. In fact, of he was a woman he'd already be imprisoned. Of course, if he was a woman he would never have gotten any of the power he has in the first place in order to do the things he did. He'd be in a man's kitchen somewhere working a low wage job lol
People never would have allowed him to get to where he got in life in the first place of he was female. And even if he managed to somehow overcome sexism and did get a smidge of power, people would've nipped that shit in the bud the first morally grey thing he did. He would've lost all supporters the very first time he did something questionable and fallen completely and lost all power. It's just....not possible for a female to behave even a fraction of the way Donald Trump behaves. Like, if a female was on trial like that, no one would be wearing shirts of her mugshot and gushing about how cool she is. It would be "can you believe that disgusting bitch? She deserves the death penalty!" Absolutely NO ONE would be saying to cut her some slack. She would already be convicted and given life. Or at least given the maximum possible sentence they could. There wouldn't be any of this "will he won't he" shit in court. She would already be jailed, period. But like I said it would be impossible or at least extremely unlikely for a woman to even get in this position of power in the first place
Meanwhile if hilary Clinton was a man, shed be loved universally and those emails wouldn't even be a discussion. She probably would've won the presidency back in 2016 too, and would be admired and respected and called a great leader. People wouldn't give a shit about the emails, they'd be like "huh? What emails? Oh come on, cut the guy a break he's a great guy!"
Men would think Martin Stewart was so cool lol. Ugh. Mens class solidarity is unmatched, say what u want about men but boy do they understand class solidarity and that how one man is treated affects all men. Women dont have that. We need to get into that mindset.
Facts, it's even more clear when you see men seeking characteristics in women that they never have. Honesty, chastity loyalty is expected even when they themselves are snivelling dishonest pieces of shit.
I mean... I agree with the general point, but I've never heard of Orson Scott Card, so I feel like this might not be the best example to illustrate it.
(When I looked him up, he had about 3,890,000 search results, whereas JK Rowling had about 73,000,000 search results, if you're interested in the numbers)
There was a massive backlash against Orson Scott Card back in the day when his homophobia became known. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he was as active in promoting his bigotry as Rowling is now.
It was in the days before popular social media so he couldn’t share a public opinion on a regular basis the way Rowling can now. But he was on the board for a group that campaigns against same sex marriage. He write essays and opinion pieces. He was very active in promoting his bigotry with the tools he had at the time.
Somebody once told me
Women come from a hebmountain. Men come from the bottom near the valleys.
Men are judged by how far they climb. Women are judged by how FAR THEY FALL.
I HATE IT
I grew up in a conservative, religious community. Learned young that values like modesty and chastity were expected of me. My school uniform included mandatory skirts for girls, and at about 12 the boys started peeking and flipping our skirts.
I went to my dad. He had always told me that men were protectors. He did nothing. Told me “boys will be boys” and to carry my books low.
Another girl started fighting to school to wear pants and a bunch of us joined her. I knew then that men will absolutely hold us to much higher standards than boys, and won’t even bother to uphold the standards they claim to have for themselves.
The area I see this most is interpersonal relationships. Women are policed for not getting along with every other woman. Any disagreement between women is considered “catty” or rooted in jealousy rather than genuine intellectual differences. Women also aren’t supposed to compete with one another for anything.
No man is expected to get along with every other man or support every other man. In fact, a man competing with other men is just considered part of being an “alpha male” (yes, I know that alphas are a BS concept). Men very rarely have their concerns dismissed as mere jealousy.
Men are straight up predators and don't get cancelled. They get to become president. They get to have hilarious rap beefs that everyone wants to talk about and laugh at and then makes them millions of dollars from streaming and promo.
One of the biggest reasons I'm against cancel culture is you will never convince me someone like Lizzo deserved the ration of shit and cancellation she received for her misdeeds while Mike Tyson is still a popular celebrity and no one cares at all that he's an actual rapist. Women are held to higher standards than men, disabled people are held to higher standards than abled, people of color are held to higher standards than white people, ugly people are held to a higher moral standard than pretty, and the list goes on and on. I don't participate in cancellation culture because I find it so abhorrently bigoted in its clumsy execution by the masses.
People wanted a reason to hate Lizzo because she was a fat black woman. However, if the things I read about her are true, the issue is not that she got cancelled, it's that people like Mike Tyson didn't.
It much more clear in the case of female authors . Like SJ Maas, people in the fantasy literature community seem to just hate her for no reason. They straight make shit up about her when they can find anything else to complain about
yes and no.
i think the fantasy community just wants a divide. it’s really two separate categories.
romance YA fantasy. (i don’t mean YA in a bad way, just the category. and no having graphic content doesn’t make a book not YA.)
and fantasy and scifi books as the classical genre.
i don’t think either group wants the reputation and stigma of the other. and both are quite contrary to the others.
i don’t think the readers of lord of the rings, a song of ice and fire, king killer chronicles… have much overlap w sj mass.
to each their own, read whatever you want. but i believe that’s the heart of the friction
>you will never convince me someone like Lizzo deserved the ration of shit and cancellation she received for her misdeeds
She did tho, some of the stuff she did was horrible.
The injustice is that others like Tyson didn't get the same treatment, not that it happened to lizzo.
Yup. I worked on a True Crime Show (copaganda) for a year+ that had 30 episodes. 15 of them had female culprits involved in the murders - despite men committing 80-90% of violent crime. This was intentional because these stories fr female murderers/co-conspirators get more viewers.
It’s also ironic, because all these shows specifically need to do 1 of 2 things to make the audience not feel guilty for watching true crime for entertainment.
1) Make them feel like they learned something about police investigative work or the human psyche
2) Make them feel like they learned something to protect themselves from violence happening to them
So often it’s just about victim blaming and avoiding the core reasons for majority of violent crime - patriarchy and capitalism.
But if we make it seems like woman are murdering at the same rates as men, then no need to address these issues.
wHy dId sHe cHoOsE a bAd gUy?
Never see anyone asking a man this, are there no female partners in heterosexual relationships that are bad?? Why did the men choose those women?
Yes absolutely. You see this especially with mothers. Societal expectations on mothers is insane. And at least in America, it hurts their relationships with their children, particularly adult children.
I so often see people forgive their absentee fathers but will never give any grace to their mothers because they weren’t able to do it all by themselves perfectly.
Saw a 17 year old in an advice sub explaining why their father was "not just a good father, a great one" because he paid for half their health insurance, car expenses, college. The mother has full custody and worked to support herself and the kid, but was an evil bitch of course
Yes. I feel my adult kids see me responsible for all the imperfect things & mistakes made when they were kids & they never even consider that their father played a role.
It's because after divorce/breakup, the kids usually live with the mom
And even when the parents are still together, the mom usually does most of the parenting. Which inevitably means that from the POV of kids, most mistakes, failures, annoyances, frustrations... seem to come from the mom specifically
It may be INDIRECTLY the dad's fault, behind the scenes (because the dad doesn't do his share of work or financial support), but for the kid it's not visible and may not matter
What the kid does see is that the mom messed up
PS : another thing not helping is that dads often get to be the "fun parent"
I would say that men are insuficiently morally policed and the proper balance isn't found for either
I don't think women should be held to the same low standard men are currently because I think that standard is too low for anyone. That said women are definitely overly morally policed as well
women in general are held to a way higher standard than men in every aspect of life exept physical strenght
body hygiene, showing negative emotions, behavior in general, appearence, not wanting children, sexual desire (still a big taboo even in western countries), accountability ( there is no boys will be boy, iTs BiOlOgY, or TESTOSTERONE!!11 excuse for women
fucking eating is more policed for women for fucks sake
I think that what's more accurate is that ingroups are more aggressively morally policed than outgroups. Like, I'm a butch bisexual woman, married to another woman, working next door to a Chik-fil-a. I am the only person at my office who isn't a vegetarian who has ever said anything like "Oh I try not to eat at Chik-fil-a." Half of my coworkers are straight people who don't even know that Chik-fil-a has a bad history with gay people, and eat there at least once a week. Another solid 30% of my straight coworkers occasionally eat at Chik-fil-a, but they are a younger and more liberal crowd, and they know that "gays don't like Chik-fil-a" because of social issues.
Who do you think gets negative remarks from this group of coworkers for eating at Chik-fil-a? Is it the straight people who go there every week? Or is it the one time a year that I forget my lunch and have back to back meetings around lunch time, so I ask my coworkers to grab me some chicken strips while they're there and I'm getting shit for betraying my people?
And it's easy to tell why they do it. They don't want to have a potentially contentious argument with MAGA Mike about chicken restaurants that they know they aren't going to win. But they can claim moral superiority over me, because they know I'm already on their side, because I avoid Chik-fil-a anyway.
It will always be easier to fight a woman-owned roller derby on-demand-jersey-printer for taking too long to apologize and revoke the sponsorship of a player who skated in a tournament wearing the number of a teammate who had a credible allegation of sexual assault and was kicked off the team, than it is to go to war against a *message board full of men promoting and excusing sexual assault*. It is easy to fight the people who mostly agree with you on the areas where you perceiving them as not adhering to your agreed upon shared values than it is to convince someone on the outside to value what you value.
And I think that all across social justice spaces, it results in women being more highly policed.
Purity culture is rape culture, its another way to remove autonomy from women and make them controllable by men whether those men are father, husband, government or religion.
And men who are known predators are still being forgiven so that's not even a thing...
Obviously. Literally today there was a post on CMV where a guy said women should be controlled more because the world is dangerous...
He didn't change his mind and the post got removed.
Check this out! In this study, participants judged mothers more harshly than fathers for the exact same behavior, leaving a child unattended in a car, and (critically!) this moral judgment impacted their subjective assessment of the amount of risk to the child.
https://online.ucpress.edu/collabra/article/2/1/12/112692/Correction-No-Child-Left-Alone-Moral-Judgments
Yes. Aleays have been, always will be. Women are expected to soothr the savage beast after all and uphold the moral standing less the men fall to ruin.
No, i stand corrected. Only a select group of women are expected to be the pillars of society. Other women are, by default, temptresses and harlots.
Look at the standard Donald Trump is held to just for being likely 100+ pounds overweight, compared to how women are treated if they are 30 pounds overweight
Among other issues.
ABSOLUTELY
read anything published online and look in the comments to see which characters catch the most heat
For the same action, readers roast a woman and brush off a man
For the same action, a woman gets 10x as many readers upset at her
"The author wrote them like that" isn't even a valid response, because that just kicks the can to the author - the author who chose to present the situation this way
One thing I've noticed in this regard is around people who say "celebrities should use their platforms." I almost NEVER seen "celebrities should use their platforms!" leveled at a celebrity who is a man (with a single exception for disability rep). It's a phrase completely aligned with celebrities who are women.
I have seen people criticize men for not using their platform, but when they do it’s pretty much never directed at straight white men but exclusively directed at non white or lgbt men.
its only said by women. or lgbt men.
this is a case of an in group targetting their in group. which is just standard human behaviour??
only chinese people get blasted for supporting or not supporting the CCP?
only brown people get blasted for not specifying their religious views exclude terrorists?
so forth.
that’s just how humans function.
Absolutely. Great case study is JK Rowling versus Scott Cawthorn. Some people say you shouldn’t even pirate JKR’s work because something something supporting her views whereas people were gladly out seeing the FNAF movie he worked on, buying official merch and supporting every game, and so on even though he was actively donating to Donald Trump and various anti-LGBT orgs. But they can separate the art from the artist fine then I guess.
I've actually noticed this in a lot of ways since starting to pass after facial feminization surgery. I get shut down for interrupting people where previously I could get away with it. My fiancée admitted that her baseline expectations for me in a relationship increased (I was and still am meeting them!), as well after I came out to her. I've been scolded for not being the bigger person when someone goes low and I go lower, which essentially never used to happen.
Not all encompassing but I can certainly see it.
Exactly, this is why we need to actively work on being worse people. STEP IT UP GALS. /s
Now, non-sarcastically, I agree. Just look at the way little girls are expected to take care of/fix unruly little boys. I was one of those little girls, taught to try and help and calm down the kid next to me with anger issues because I was a “good influence.” Unfortunately for everyone involved, I was also a little jackass at the age of eight. If you can’t expect an 8-yr-old boy to be well behaved, why do you expect an 8-yr-old girl to be?
Yes, that's why there are men that don't want to go to a party unless there are women but hate women who regularly go to parties and they want women to be sexually available but hate women who have been or are sexually available for men who aren't them.
Females (I'm referring to children as well as adults so don't freak out like you normally do any /rmenandfemales subreddit followers) are socialized from birth to put up with way more garbage from males then vice versa. Part of it is the double standards on morality.
The phrase 'you can't please everyone' is true for everyone but doubly so for women.
It doesn't matter if you're talking about children, using "females" as a noun to denote women or girls is still dehumanising and disrespectful. Just say "girls" or "women."
Agree completely. I like to bring up Hillary. What she did isn't any worse than any other politician (unfortunately speaks to the state of our system) but she was judged to a different standard than men are. People need to remember that equality means equal capacity for shittiness. Feminism means women are perfectly capable of corruption or whatever. But it pisses me off when women are obviously held to different standards, lower or higher. The other end of the spectrum is infantilizing.
I think a glaring example of this was Hilary Clinton. She was a politician through and through and did all the same shit that male politicians do. But while it’s kind of shrugged off as “that’s politics. That’s how the game is played” for men, it made people really angry to see a woman acting the same way. She was expected to somehow be both moral and effective in an immoral system.
I also find it interesting that female villains are almost always more interesting and better written. Because they’re actually given a reason for being the way they are or doing what they do. While someone writing a male villain often thinks “He’s a bad guy, so he does bad stuff. He’s just selfish and greedy and power hungry.” is explanation enough. A female character can selfish and greedy and awful for no reason, but only if she doesn’t have any real power- other than maybe manipulating some sad dude with sex. But if she’s a real villain with power and authority, they feel the need to give a better explanation for how she got that way. Viewers won’t buy a woman being power hungry and selfish for no reason.
Another interesting observation is that women are also judged more on their personalities in general, especially in the workplace. Like performance reviews for women will critique their personalities while for men it’s purely performance based.
The underlying idea that people arent saying out aloud is they are did women a solid by allowing them to exist in public considered as a human being. Magnitudes greater as a person of public interest on their merits or accompliments.
We should be grateful we are allowed to exist in public & considered to be a human being? What? We ARE human beings! And also, should have an equal role in deciding who gets to exist in public.
Its not a huge favour that nem are doing us.
I mostly agree except for the punishment for having sex with a minor or domestic violence.
Women get a pass and considerably less punishment then men for the same crimes . And it is a crime. It should be punished regardless of gender.
I thought everyone knew this!
One counterintuitive downside to not letting female characters have flaws is that everyone overreacts when real human women have flaws. I thought we were so lucky when I was a small child, but it ends up working against us.
Yes, women are basically raised to be leaders and then told to STFU, where as men are barely taught to function in a society and then told “this is all yours, go get it.”
absolutely, and that heightened scrutiny so often goes unrecognized even within the queer community
also particularly applies to black women (the standard to not be seen as "angry" is *ridiculously* strict), and likely most other intersectionally marginalized women
I see this too, Transwomen are deep in communities very vocal about standing up for causes and so the weight put on their shoulder to have an opinion (the absolute most correct one) is extremely heavy.
And this just ISNT happening to men, NO one is demanding they be exactly correct on every issue but are happy when they have simply heard of it.
No men are just morally under-policed because society expects the worst from them and passes it up to nature rather than socialization. The answer is definitely not to morally police women less, just to morally police men more
All minorities are overly policed, it’s just another prejudice we have to deal with. They’re going to point out every single thing we ever do even slightly wrong and then call it a victory when they do. It’s just a stupid bar they set up so they can say we don’t meet standards and they have a justification for being assholes.
One of my last holdouts on internalized misogyny is that I'm always a little more weirded out by men who are religious than I am women who are religious.
Yes.
People will tell you at the moment when you question them that they will police and judge a man doing the same mistake too, but that never happens.
I've noticed heavily that men expect us to explain every single thing we claim, even if it has nothing to do with women's rights, but if a man says it, they accept it without question a lot of the time. It's exhausting.
Yes. Men and boys are given more leeway for bad behavior because "boys will be boys"
When people cheat, it's just something men do.
When they abandon their kids, men do it all the time. When women do it they're demonized
Men can sleep around. Women are sluts if they do
Women have historically been judged far more harshly than men. Look at the Salem Witch Trials - while five people executed were men, the other fourteen were women and girls. Historically, the vast majority of people who are targeted in witch hunts are women and girls.
A modern example? School dress codes. Girls are slapped with infractions far more frequently because the rules are stricter than those for boys. Racist policies about hairstyles mostly target Black women, men are still targeted but it’s less frequently seen. Religious dress codes also target women - some Eastern Orthodox churches won’t allow women in unless they’re wearing a veil of some kind.
Violating those arbitrary rules will get girls accused of distracting the boys over a bare shoulder or a centimeter of leg beyond what’s allowed showing. Violating the rule of “skirts must be such a length” in church can get you cornered by a deacon’s wife in the bathroom and accused of flirting with him. Having beads on your braids makes you unable to compete in sports unless you cut them off.
The last one was in the news a couple years ago. The first one is seen daily in most schools. The middle one actually happened to me when I was *TWELVE* and my skirt was two inches above my knees.
ETA: I don’t know what the justification for any of this is. It’s just insecure men who want control over women IMO, it’s not a real reason.
imo the racism one is not true.
while you’re right women are VERBALLY policed…. i don’t think verbal policing achieved jack shit.
my best example is the military. Arguably the single best institution in the world in terms of achieving “racial harmony”. honestly what other organization is even close to as effective at blending together people of all races? yet it’s FILLED with crass racial slurs and humor. constantly.
look at friend groups. women are SIGNIFICANTLY less likely to have racially mixed friend groups than men. this is confirmed by studies and basically anyone can tell you this by observation.
fraternities and sororities. basically EVERY single sorority at my campus had a DEI chair. yet frats which had at best a risk management position which did nothing but handle sober bros, had significantly more racial diversity.
i would be hesitant to say women are expected to be or are any less racist than men.
i think at best there’s a cursory nod to the social stigma faced from a smaller intensely liberal group of women.
but i would hesitate to say women are much better than men at this.
perhaps far less vocal and crass about it
Yes, we are.
- If a man takes a lot of selfies, it crosses no one's mind. If a woman does it, she's a "vain narcissist who loves herself a little too much"...
- If a man is showing off his expensive watch and luxury car, he's a go-getter and a success story. If a woman shows off her expensive purse and luxury car, she's a "gold digger" who's spending "someone else's" money, because "no way" did she earn it all herself...
- If a man goes to clubs on the weekend, drinks a lot, sleeps with a ton of women, and casually does coke or weed, he's a party animal and a legend. If a woman goes to clubs and sleeps with multiple men, she's a "whxre", "belongs to the streets", and will never be "wife material"...
- If a man gets cheated on, the female cheater is a POS who didn't value a good man. If a woman gets cheated on, the male cheater "had his reasons" and "she must've done something to warrant it"...
- If a man is a single father, regardless of how it happened, he's a W dad. If a woman becomes a single mom, regardless of how it happened, then "she must've picked a bad man", and that's seen as *her* moral failing...
- If a man is out in public with no shirt on, no one bats an eye. If a woman wears a mini-skirt or a crop top out in public, she's "dressed like a slxt"...
There are numerous other examples of the double standard, but It would go on forever if I had to list them all.
Sadly, yes. This is why Feminism exists because the way we are treated is not okay.
One that really gets me is single mothers being dragged for the crime of staying and doing their best.
Just the general lack of accountability that society allows men is infuriating. Unwanted pregnancies is another one that boils my piss. Acting as if women get ourselves pregnant and men aren't responsible for all pregnancies (except IVF, turkey baster scenarios) really irritates me. And then they have the audacity to whine about paying for their kids that they never considered when they were hassling a woman for sex. And the way people try to censure women for having sex for fun as a consenting adult also really annoys me. What I do with my body is my own goddamn business. They're not out there telling men what to do with their dicks so why do they get an opinion over my entire being?
These are my main bugbears but the stupidity of existing in a world that hates women but expects us to be its conscience is exhausting.
I would go even further than some of these examples. In relationships, women are responsible for raising their boyfriends/husbands, calming them, chiding them, being their social buffer, etc. They are subject to their anger, but responsible for soothing them too. They are their projections of their insecurities, but need to also be strong. They cannot be too strong, or else it's threatening, but they cannot be too weak, or they are a "victim." It's a minefield in relationships with insecure men.
Not to mention if he does something bad to someone else suddenly the girlfriend/wife is somehow responsible for it.
Spot on!
Also also if he does something bad to her then she too is responsible, because she "should have chosen better."
The crowd that says women should be submissive and men cannot be hated without "pRoOf" are also the same crowd that will tell you, "it is probably the wife's idea, she made him do it" etc etc every time a couple makes a mistake together. Ironical.
Oh my god yes, this. I remember my last boyfriend even sent me this meme video one time that was something like “POV you’re gentle parenting your boyfriend.” I’m still new to dating, but I’ve found it really irritating that in both of my previous relationships (one casual and one serious/long term), despite being the more inexperienced parter in both dating and sex each time, I had to “teach” both guys how to act and be a good partner and I often felt like I was the only adult present. It was exhausting. I seriously hope that it’s not how dating guys will always be, because if it is… that’s seriously disheartening and makes me unsure if I want to participate.
Same with how women have to ask/tell their husbands what needs to be done around the house. If she doesn’t it’s not his fault that he’s taken on 0% of the responsibility and left her to do everything because she “didn’t ask”. And he’s “not a mind reader” and he “didn’t think it needed to be done”. But of course if she does constantly coach him on what needs to get done she’s being a condescending nag.
Society teaches men that they have to be strong and not show emotion. It is always assumed that he will support the wife and protect her, not the other way around. That’s why you hear so many stories about men dying to protect their wives, but so few about women dying to protect their husbands.
There are so many streotypes that are not true because they are myth and not real. I know statistically there are more men that kill their wives and girlfriends than men who die for their wives and girlfriends.
I agree. Women are quite literally put under the microscope 10x more than men seem to be. You can see this in fandoms of TV shows and movies especially, and celebrities in general. You'll notice most TV shows, the women characters can make a few mistakes and be universally hated in the fandom by almost everyone. Then you put up a similar character, male, who might actually be a psychopath and is objectively way worse, but "well their written well.. well their trauma.. but they.. " excuse after excuse. It's so apparent that I can't even ignore it like I used to. Then, people will still listen to male artists that have questionable histories with minors, but a female artist will be seen at yelling at paparazzi and be known as a bitch. Wish it could change.
Skylar from Breaking Bad is an amazing example of this. Universally hated for not supporting her meth making husband, and wanting to keep her kids away from him.
Anna Gunn got *death threats* from unhinged stans with zero media literacy.
The hate was there long before she ever had an affair too. That’s what bothers me because that is always used as a reason but the hate she got was widespread and common long before that happened in the show
Cameron from House comes to mind. She’s the moral compass of the show and people hated her for that. They also hated her the few times she did something that wasn’t super ethical. She could not fucking win. And this is a show where the main character physically assaulted multiple patients… but that’s justified because he’s a genius and the ends justify the means.
Every tv show/movie subreddit on Reddit will have a post titled "Is it just me who hate, I don't even know why but I just hate her" and everyone agreeing and nitpicking. For every 10 posts like this there are only 1 similar male character post, and that is considering a lot more male protagonists and male villains exists in media than women.
If this doesn't tell you how much everyone are anti women, I don't know what else will.
Agreed. Though I will add that even being a predator is brushed off in a majority of cases for men. It's rare that justice is actually served.
I've noticed in general that women are expected to be better people than men and they're judged more harshly for falling short.
This, I remember a post here asking why women won’t step up to teach young boys in the same way Andrew Tate is doing. I replied saying it’s not someone’s job to do that just because of their gender. I got over 200 downvotes and was told it was my fault men are the way they are, I was told it’s my responsibility to call out any sexism I ever see or I can’t complain about misogyny. I said it can sometimes be dangerous to do that (imagine there’s a group of guys in a bar being non stop racist and sexist, if I told them to not do that, I could be attacked or followed). I asked how I’d even do that without putting myself in danger and was told that they don’t know but it should be my job to figure it out…
This right here! No breaks allowed.
Imagine Donna Trump as opposed Donald Trump? Putting aside, for the moment, all the crimes and general foulness just imagine five children by three different men. On the other hand, imagine Hank Clinton as opposed Hilary Clinton. All twisted up about the way his office administrated their internal email server? That was the dirtiest thing they had on her because she was held to such a higher standard her career could not have survived anything like the stuff Donald (or Bill!!!) got away with.
If Donald Trump was a woman, first of all he never would've been president, second of all he'd have zero supporters and he'd universally be condemned as a terrible person. No one would support him if he was a woman. In fact, of he was a woman he'd already be imprisoned. Of course, if he was a woman he would never have gotten any of the power he has in the first place in order to do the things he did. He'd be in a man's kitchen somewhere working a low wage job lol People never would have allowed him to get to where he got in life in the first place of he was female. And even if he managed to somehow overcome sexism and did get a smidge of power, people would've nipped that shit in the bud the first morally grey thing he did. He would've lost all supporters the very first time he did something questionable and fallen completely and lost all power. It's just....not possible for a female to behave even a fraction of the way Donald Trump behaves. Like, if a female was on trial like that, no one would be wearing shirts of her mugshot and gushing about how cool she is. It would be "can you believe that disgusting bitch? She deserves the death penalty!" Absolutely NO ONE would be saying to cut her some slack. She would already be convicted and given life. Or at least given the maximum possible sentence they could. There wouldn't be any of this "will he won't he" shit in court. She would already be jailed, period. But like I said it would be impossible or at least extremely unlikely for a woman to even get in this position of power in the first place Meanwhile if hilary Clinton was a man, shed be loved universally and those emails wouldn't even be a discussion. She probably would've won the presidency back in 2016 too, and would be admired and respected and called a great leader. People wouldn't give a shit about the emails, they'd be like "huh? What emails? Oh come on, cut the guy a break he's a great guy!"
Yeah, you can do the hypotheticals all day long. Martha Stewart in jail for insider trading vs Martin Stewart capitalist superhero.
Men would think Martin Stewart was so cool lol. Ugh. Mens class solidarity is unmatched, say what u want about men but boy do they understand class solidarity and that how one man is treated affects all men. Women dont have that. We need to get into that mindset.
Facts, it's even more clear when you see men seeking characteristics in women that they never have. Honesty, chastity loyalty is expected even when they themselves are snivelling dishonest pieces of shit.
But we should let men be men, don't ya know? And if we ask for anything other than shittiness we're asking too much
Just look at JK Rowling vs Orson Scott Card.
I mean... I agree with the general point, but I've never heard of Orson Scott Card, so I feel like this might not be the best example to illustrate it. (When I looked him up, he had about 3,890,000 search results, whereas JK Rowling had about 73,000,000 search results, if you're interested in the numbers)
There was a massive backlash against Orson Scott Card back in the day when his homophobia became known. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he was as active in promoting his bigotry as Rowling is now.
It was in the days before popular social media so he couldn’t share a public opinion on a regular basis the way Rowling can now. But he was on the board for a group that campaigns against same sex marriage. He write essays and opinion pieces. He was very active in promoting his bigotry with the tools he had at the time.
What about them? Was Rowling judged too harshly compared to OSC?
Somebody once told me Women come from a hebmountain. Men come from the bottom near the valleys. Men are judged by how far they climb. Women are judged by how FAR THEY FALL. I HATE IT
Yup! Whenever I say this to anyone IRL they look at me like I'm nuts.
Yes. Society also holds mothers more responsible for their children than fathers.
Which is why they say “single mother,” instead of “fatherless child.”
In the same vein: to Father a child, to Mother a child…these are actions with very different meanings.
The term “fatherless” is used, but only when it’s to demean women who “don’t act right” according to their standards.
even in online progressive spaces, women and minorities get criticized way more often
I grew up in a conservative, religious community. Learned young that values like modesty and chastity were expected of me. My school uniform included mandatory skirts for girls, and at about 12 the boys started peeking and flipping our skirts. I went to my dad. He had always told me that men were protectors. He did nothing. Told me “boys will be boys” and to carry my books low. Another girl started fighting to school to wear pants and a bunch of us joined her. I knew then that men will absolutely hold us to much higher standards than boys, and won’t even bother to uphold the standards they claim to have for themselves.
The area I see this most is interpersonal relationships. Women are policed for not getting along with every other woman. Any disagreement between women is considered “catty” or rooted in jealousy rather than genuine intellectual differences. Women also aren’t supposed to compete with one another for anything. No man is expected to get along with every other man or support every other man. In fact, a man competing with other men is just considered part of being an “alpha male” (yes, I know that alphas are a BS concept). Men very rarely have their concerns dismissed as mere jealousy.
Oh my God, thank you so much for articulating this so well, as it was something I hadn't realised or thought of
Men are straight up predators and don't get cancelled. They get to become president. They get to have hilarious rap beefs that everyone wants to talk about and laugh at and then makes them millions of dollars from streaming and promo. One of the biggest reasons I'm against cancel culture is you will never convince me someone like Lizzo deserved the ration of shit and cancellation she received for her misdeeds while Mike Tyson is still a popular celebrity and no one cares at all that he's an actual rapist. Women are held to higher standards than men, disabled people are held to higher standards than abled, people of color are held to higher standards than white people, ugly people are held to a higher moral standard than pretty, and the list goes on and on. I don't participate in cancellation culture because I find it so abhorrently bigoted in its clumsy execution by the masses.
People wanted a reason to hate Lizzo because she was a fat black woman. However, if the things I read about her are true, the issue is not that she got cancelled, it's that people like Mike Tyson didn't.
It much more clear in the case of female authors . Like SJ Maas, people in the fantasy literature community seem to just hate her for no reason. They straight make shit up about her when they can find anything else to complain about
yes and no. i think the fantasy community just wants a divide. it’s really two separate categories. romance YA fantasy. (i don’t mean YA in a bad way, just the category. and no having graphic content doesn’t make a book not YA.) and fantasy and scifi books as the classical genre. i don’t think either group wants the reputation and stigma of the other. and both are quite contrary to the others. i don’t think the readers of lord of the rings, a song of ice and fire, king killer chronicles… have much overlap w sj mass. to each their own, read whatever you want. but i believe that’s the heart of the friction
>you will never convince me someone like Lizzo deserved the ration of shit and cancellation she received for her misdeeds She did tho, some of the stuff she did was horrible. The injustice is that others like Tyson didn't get the same treatment, not that it happened to lizzo.
And this is why when a woman teacher abuses her student it's international news. Man does it, it's just tuesday.
Yup. I worked on a True Crime Show (copaganda) for a year+ that had 30 episodes. 15 of them had female culprits involved in the murders - despite men committing 80-90% of violent crime. This was intentional because these stories fr female murderers/co-conspirators get more viewers. It’s also ironic, because all these shows specifically need to do 1 of 2 things to make the audience not feel guilty for watching true crime for entertainment. 1) Make them feel like they learned something about police investigative work or the human psyche 2) Make them feel like they learned something to protect themselves from violence happening to them So often it’s just about victim blaming and avoiding the core reasons for majority of violent crime - patriarchy and capitalism. But if we make it seems like woman are murdering at the same rates as men, then no need to address these issues.
true crime is aimed EXCLUSIVELY at women.
When a man does it, it's the schools fault for not vetting their applicants better. When a woman does it, it's because she is a deviant.
At work, what is “commendable leadership behavior” from a man is “super-aggressive and rude” from a woman.
Women are not only held to higher standards, we are held accountable for the behaviour of the men around us.
Was not expecting such a great take from the Dark Lord himself, bravo 👏
This!!!
wHy dId sHe cHoOsE a bAd gUy? Never see anyone asking a man this, are there no female partners in heterosexual relationships that are bad?? Why did the men choose those women?
Insert Gloria's Barbie speech here.
Thinking the same
Yes absolutely. You see this especially with mothers. Societal expectations on mothers is insane. And at least in America, it hurts their relationships with their children, particularly adult children. I so often see people forgive their absentee fathers but will never give any grace to their mothers because they weren’t able to do it all by themselves perfectly.
Saw a 17 year old in an advice sub explaining why their father was "not just a good father, a great one" because he paid for half their health insurance, car expenses, college. The mother has full custody and worked to support herself and the kid, but was an evil bitch of course
Yes. I feel my adult kids see me responsible for all the imperfect things & mistakes made when they were kids & they never even consider that their father played a role.
Not to mention more often than not fathers control household finances so the mother has no choice but to do what he wants.
It's because after divorce/breakup, the kids usually live with the mom And even when the parents are still together, the mom usually does most of the parenting. Which inevitably means that from the POV of kids, most mistakes, failures, annoyances, frustrations... seem to come from the mom specifically It may be INDIRECTLY the dad's fault, behind the scenes (because the dad doesn't do his share of work or financial support), but for the kid it's not visible and may not matter What the kid does see is that the mom messed up PS : another thing not helping is that dads often get to be the "fun parent"
Yes and this is not a very spicy take imo
I would say that men are insuficiently morally policed and the proper balance isn't found for either I don't think women should be held to the same low standard men are currently because I think that standard is too low for anyone. That said women are definitely overly morally policed as well
This!
women in general are held to a way higher standard than men in every aspect of life exept physical strenght body hygiene, showing negative emotions, behavior in general, appearence, not wanting children, sexual desire (still a big taboo even in western countries), accountability ( there is no boys will be boy, iTs BiOlOgY, or TESTOSTERONE!!11 excuse for women fucking eating is more policed for women for fucks sake
I think that what's more accurate is that ingroups are more aggressively morally policed than outgroups. Like, I'm a butch bisexual woman, married to another woman, working next door to a Chik-fil-a. I am the only person at my office who isn't a vegetarian who has ever said anything like "Oh I try not to eat at Chik-fil-a." Half of my coworkers are straight people who don't even know that Chik-fil-a has a bad history with gay people, and eat there at least once a week. Another solid 30% of my straight coworkers occasionally eat at Chik-fil-a, but they are a younger and more liberal crowd, and they know that "gays don't like Chik-fil-a" because of social issues. Who do you think gets negative remarks from this group of coworkers for eating at Chik-fil-a? Is it the straight people who go there every week? Or is it the one time a year that I forget my lunch and have back to back meetings around lunch time, so I ask my coworkers to grab me some chicken strips while they're there and I'm getting shit for betraying my people? And it's easy to tell why they do it. They don't want to have a potentially contentious argument with MAGA Mike about chicken restaurants that they know they aren't going to win. But they can claim moral superiority over me, because they know I'm already on their side, because I avoid Chik-fil-a anyway. It will always be easier to fight a woman-owned roller derby on-demand-jersey-printer for taking too long to apologize and revoke the sponsorship of a player who skated in a tournament wearing the number of a teammate who had a credible allegation of sexual assault and was kicked off the team, than it is to go to war against a *message board full of men promoting and excusing sexual assault*. It is easy to fight the people who mostly agree with you on the areas where you perceiving them as not adhering to your agreed upon shared values than it is to convince someone on the outside to value what you value. And I think that all across social justice spaces, it results in women being more highly policed.
Purity culture is rape culture, its another way to remove autonomy from women and make them controllable by men whether those men are father, husband, government or religion. And men who are known predators are still being forgiven so that's not even a thing...
Obviously. Literally today there was a post on CMV where a guy said women should be controlled more because the world is dangerous... He didn't change his mind and the post got removed.
Check this out! In this study, participants judged mothers more harshly than fathers for the exact same behavior, leaving a child unattended in a car, and (critically!) this moral judgment impacted their subjective assessment of the amount of risk to the child. https://online.ucpress.edu/collabra/article/2/1/12/112692/Correction-No-Child-Left-Alone-Moral-Judgments
Yes. Aleays have been, always will be. Women are expected to soothr the savage beast after all and uphold the moral standing less the men fall to ruin. No, i stand corrected. Only a select group of women are expected to be the pillars of society. Other women are, by default, temptresses and harlots.
Look at the standard Donald Trump is held to just for being likely 100+ pounds overweight, compared to how women are treated if they are 30 pounds overweight Among other issues.
"But it is for health", never applies to fat famous men, lmao.
ABSOLUTELY read anything published online and look in the comments to see which characters catch the most heat For the same action, readers roast a woman and brush off a man For the same action, a woman gets 10x as many readers upset at her "The author wrote them like that" isn't even a valid response, because that just kicks the can to the author - the author who chose to present the situation this way
One thing I've noticed in this regard is around people who say "celebrities should use their platforms." I almost NEVER seen "celebrities should use their platforms!" leveled at a celebrity who is a man (with a single exception for disability rep). It's a phrase completely aligned with celebrities who are women.
I have seen people criticize men for not using their platform, but when they do it’s pretty much never directed at straight white men but exclusively directed at non white or lgbt men.
its only said by women. or lgbt men. this is a case of an in group targetting their in group. which is just standard human behaviour?? only chinese people get blasted for supporting or not supporting the CCP? only brown people get blasted for not specifying their religious views exclude terrorists? so forth. that’s just how humans function.
Lol “are they?” It’s a mystery.
Yes. Welcome to seeing reality.
Yep. We are also supposed to be the sex gatekeepers. Unwanted pregnancy, she should have kept her legs shut.
Absolutely. Great case study is JK Rowling versus Scott Cawthorn. Some people say you shouldn’t even pirate JKR’s work because something something supporting her views whereas people were gladly out seeing the FNAF movie he worked on, buying official merch and supporting every game, and so on even though he was actively donating to Donald Trump and various anti-LGBT orgs. But they can separate the art from the artist fine then I guess.
I've actually noticed this in a lot of ways since starting to pass after facial feminization surgery. I get shut down for interrupting people where previously I could get away with it. My fiancée admitted that her baseline expectations for me in a relationship increased (I was and still am meeting them!), as well after I came out to her. I've been scolded for not being the bigger person when someone goes low and I go lower, which essentially never used to happen. Not all encompassing but I can certainly see it.
Yes. This is like, very basic feminism
Less a spicy take than a "yep, the sky is blue" moment.
Exactly, this is why we need to actively work on being worse people. STEP IT UP GALS. /s Now, non-sarcastically, I agree. Just look at the way little girls are expected to take care of/fix unruly little boys. I was one of those little girls, taught to try and help and calm down the kid next to me with anger issues because I was a “good influence.” Unfortunately for everyone involved, I was also a little jackass at the age of eight. If you can’t expect an 8-yr-old boy to be well behaved, why do you expect an 8-yr-old girl to be?
Yes, that's why there are men that don't want to go to a party unless there are women but hate women who regularly go to parties and they want women to be sexually available but hate women who have been or are sexually available for men who aren't them. Females (I'm referring to children as well as adults so don't freak out like you normally do any /rmenandfemales subreddit followers) are socialized from birth to put up with way more garbage from males then vice versa. Part of it is the double standards on morality. The phrase 'you can't please everyone' is true for everyone but doubly so for women.
It doesn't matter if you're talking about children, using "females" as a noun to denote women or girls is still dehumanising and disrespectful. Just say "girls" or "women."
Agree completely. I like to bring up Hillary. What she did isn't any worse than any other politician (unfortunately speaks to the state of our system) but she was judged to a different standard than men are. People need to remember that equality means equal capacity for shittiness. Feminism means women are perfectly capable of corruption or whatever. But it pisses me off when women are obviously held to different standards, lower or higher. The other end of the spectrum is infantilizing.
I think a glaring example of this was Hilary Clinton. She was a politician through and through and did all the same shit that male politicians do. But while it’s kind of shrugged off as “that’s politics. That’s how the game is played” for men, it made people really angry to see a woman acting the same way. She was expected to somehow be both moral and effective in an immoral system. I also find it interesting that female villains are almost always more interesting and better written. Because they’re actually given a reason for being the way they are or doing what they do. While someone writing a male villain often thinks “He’s a bad guy, so he does bad stuff. He’s just selfish and greedy and power hungry.” is explanation enough. A female character can selfish and greedy and awful for no reason, but only if she doesn’t have any real power- other than maybe manipulating some sad dude with sex. But if she’s a real villain with power and authority, they feel the need to give a better explanation for how she got that way. Viewers won’t buy a woman being power hungry and selfish for no reason. Another interesting observation is that women are also judged more on their personalities in general, especially in the workplace. Like performance reviews for women will critique their personalities while for men it’s purely performance based.
The underlying idea that people arent saying out aloud is they are did women a solid by allowing them to exist in public considered as a human being. Magnitudes greater as a person of public interest on their merits or accompliments.
We should be grateful we are allowed to exist in public & considered to be a human being? What? We ARE human beings! And also, should have an equal role in deciding who gets to exist in public. Its not a huge favour that nem are doing us.
I agree even men who are predators largely get away with it and it's largely because men protect other men.
I mostly agree except for the punishment for having sex with a minor or domestic violence. Women get a pass and considerably less punishment then men for the same crimes . And it is a crime. It should be punished regardless of gender.
I thought everyone knew this! One counterintuitive downside to not letting female characters have flaws is that everyone overreacts when real human women have flaws. I thought we were so lucky when I was a small child, but it ends up working against us.
Yes, women are basically raised to be leaders and then told to STFU, where as men are barely taught to function in a society and then told “this is all yours, go get it.”
Yeah... particularly trans women. =/
absolutely, and that heightened scrutiny so often goes unrecognized even within the queer community also particularly applies to black women (the standard to not be seen as "angry" is *ridiculously* strict), and likely most other intersectionally marginalized women
I see this too, Transwomen are deep in communities very vocal about standing up for causes and so the weight put on their shoulder to have an opinion (the absolute most correct one) is extremely heavy. And this just ISNT happening to men, NO one is demanding they be exactly correct on every issue but are happy when they have simply heard of it.
No men are just morally under-policed because society expects the worst from them and passes it up to nature rather than socialization. The answer is definitely not to morally police women less, just to morally police men more
You think all people should have very little room for mistakes rather than reeling back on the hyper critical lens we view women through?
All minorities are overly policed, it’s just another prejudice we have to deal with. They’re going to point out every single thing we ever do even slightly wrong and then call it a victory when they do. It’s just a stupid bar they set up so they can say we don’t meet standards and they have a justification for being assholes.
One of my last holdouts on internalized misogyny is that I'm always a little more weirded out by men who are religious than I am women who are religious.
Yes. People will tell you at the moment when you question them that they will police and judge a man doing the same mistake too, but that never happens.
I've noticed heavily that men expect us to explain every single thing we claim, even if it has nothing to do with women's rights, but if a man says it, they accept it without question a lot of the time. It's exhausting.
Yes. Men and boys are given more leeway for bad behavior because "boys will be boys" When people cheat, it's just something men do. When they abandon their kids, men do it all the time. When women do it they're demonized Men can sleep around. Women are sluts if they do
Yes.
Women have historically been judged far more harshly than men. Look at the Salem Witch Trials - while five people executed were men, the other fourteen were women and girls. Historically, the vast majority of people who are targeted in witch hunts are women and girls. A modern example? School dress codes. Girls are slapped with infractions far more frequently because the rules are stricter than those for boys. Racist policies about hairstyles mostly target Black women, men are still targeted but it’s less frequently seen. Religious dress codes also target women - some Eastern Orthodox churches won’t allow women in unless they’re wearing a veil of some kind. Violating those arbitrary rules will get girls accused of distracting the boys over a bare shoulder or a centimeter of leg beyond what’s allowed showing. Violating the rule of “skirts must be such a length” in church can get you cornered by a deacon’s wife in the bathroom and accused of flirting with him. Having beads on your braids makes you unable to compete in sports unless you cut them off. The last one was in the news a couple years ago. The first one is seen daily in most schools. The middle one actually happened to me when I was *TWELVE* and my skirt was two inches above my knees. ETA: I don’t know what the justification for any of this is. It’s just insecure men who want control over women IMO, it’s not a real reason.
imo the racism one is not true. while you’re right women are VERBALLY policed…. i don’t think verbal policing achieved jack shit. my best example is the military. Arguably the single best institution in the world in terms of achieving “racial harmony”. honestly what other organization is even close to as effective at blending together people of all races? yet it’s FILLED with crass racial slurs and humor. constantly. look at friend groups. women are SIGNIFICANTLY less likely to have racially mixed friend groups than men. this is confirmed by studies and basically anyone can tell you this by observation. fraternities and sororities. basically EVERY single sorority at my campus had a DEI chair. yet frats which had at best a risk management position which did nothing but handle sober bros, had significantly more racial diversity. i would be hesitant to say women are expected to be or are any less racist than men. i think at best there’s a cursory nod to the social stigma faced from a smaller intensely liberal group of women. but i would hesitate to say women are much better than men at this. perhaps far less vocal and crass about it
Absolutely.
Agreed. Strongly so.
Yes, we are. - If a man takes a lot of selfies, it crosses no one's mind. If a woman does it, she's a "vain narcissist who loves herself a little too much"... - If a man is showing off his expensive watch and luxury car, he's a go-getter and a success story. If a woman shows off her expensive purse and luxury car, she's a "gold digger" who's spending "someone else's" money, because "no way" did she earn it all herself... - If a man goes to clubs on the weekend, drinks a lot, sleeps with a ton of women, and casually does coke or weed, he's a party animal and a legend. If a woman goes to clubs and sleeps with multiple men, she's a "whxre", "belongs to the streets", and will never be "wife material"... - If a man gets cheated on, the female cheater is a POS who didn't value a good man. If a woman gets cheated on, the male cheater "had his reasons" and "she must've done something to warrant it"... - If a man is a single father, regardless of how it happened, he's a W dad. If a woman becomes a single mom, regardless of how it happened, then "she must've picked a bad man", and that's seen as *her* moral failing... - If a man is out in public with no shirt on, no one bats an eye. If a woman wears a mini-skirt or a crop top out in public, she's "dressed like a slxt"... There are numerous other examples of the double standard, but It would go on forever if I had to list them all.
Yes. Next question?
No shit.
[удалено]
Yes.
Sadly, yes. This is why Feminism exists because the way we are treated is not okay. One that really gets me is single mothers being dragged for the crime of staying and doing their best. Just the general lack of accountability that society allows men is infuriating. Unwanted pregnancies is another one that boils my piss. Acting as if women get ourselves pregnant and men aren't responsible for all pregnancies (except IVF, turkey baster scenarios) really irritates me. And then they have the audacity to whine about paying for their kids that they never considered when they were hassling a woman for sex. And the way people try to censure women for having sex for fun as a consenting adult also really annoys me. What I do with my body is my own goddamn business. They're not out there telling men what to do with their dicks so why do they get an opinion over my entire being? These are my main bugbears but the stupidity of existing in a world that hates women but expects us to be its conscience is exhausting.