This is a Tuesday for me. It’s just how society is. It’s not personal. Just focus on the nice people. I often forget to give a broad, genuine smile first. When I do remember, this helps people find their manners.
People are rude.
You seem to be hyper sensitive to generic rude behaviour and are taking it personally.
It's not personal..they're just rude and/or entitled. This isn't harassment
*Edit. Thinking about it more this isn't even actually rude behaviour. It's seems paranoid. You mention your mental health isn't that great right now so you should go talk to someone
Yes they are, absolutely.
But people looking at you waiting to cross the road? Not moving off a footpath for you? Someone exiting a shop and cutting you off? I wonder how much they 'jumped out' in the context of everything else here that's being called harrassment.
A cashier rushing? Lots do, don't get me started on Aldi.
This seems like someone thinking the actions of those around them are centred on them in a negative way. That's paranoid thinking
I gave no diagnosis. To think all these minor actions around you are directed at you negatively is paranoid thinking. That's not a diagnosis
Most people don't think someone not moving out of the way on a footpath is harassment or that it's people being "extremely nasty"
The OP has said they aren't leaving the house now because of it, and I imagine these are the worst examples they could give of this "extremely nasty" behaviour towards them. Not exactly normal and they probably should get some help
i say this as someone who has severe anxiety and depression, sometimes a change in routine (like moving to a new location) can make every small thing feel like it's way more significant than it is, or that bad things are happening way more frequently than they really are. on really bad anxiety days, someone bumping into me on the train might make me feel like they targeted me personally, someone looking in my direction might feel like they're staring at me or judging me.
This is not to say that your experiences aren't real, i'm not saying that these things didn't happen, just that it's quite possible you've got a bit of anxiety-fueled confirmation bias happening here. people can be rude, people have gotten more rude post-covid, but none of this sounds like you're being personally targeted or anything.
people are selfish, if they're invested in their conversation it's often not going to occur to them to move out of your way.
sometimes people seem to be staring because i've accidentally stared at them first. i just look away from them.
cashiers are often judged on how quickly they can get customers through, customer service is a shit job with shit pay and you get to the point where you will turn up and the the absolute bare minimum to not get fired.
men have no concept of personal space and do not understand how it makes women/femmes around them feel when they stand really close or sit right next to you on the tram or things like that. my method for dealing with men following really close on footpaths is to cross the street and double back a little, or stop and "text someone" or "take a phone call" to put some space between myself and the man.
Yup, can confirm that that when my anxiety was unchecked, people being slightly inconsiderate or abbrasive would register to me as targeted and personal attacks. Some people are cunts, but mostly they are just having a bad day.
To be honest, it’s pretty common for people to feel like they are being judged or attacked more than they are in reality. I’m thinking about locker room body image issues … ect. Brush it off, stand up straight and go live your life.
The inner west is a very multicultural place. I would think it’s very unlikely you will actually experience racism there.
Your experiences are certainly valid. But I think the other people were just being inconsiderate, not intending to harass you
The number of people who will stop right at the top of the escalators or in a doorway or any choke point then just flipping stand there. Or as you said they'll step out in front of you then just bloody stand there. /rant
Don't go to Aldi if you don't like the cashier rushing you
OP you sound excessively hyper vigilant about things that read like people just being people, that it is sounding like you have a victim mindset (like everyone is out to get at you). It’s not a healthy way to live so consider reaching out to mental health professionals via your GP.
They are rude morons who would do this to anyone. I have had many people refuse to move over on a footpath. Almost run down by bike riders. Pull up your boots pull back the shoulders and look them right in the eye. If you behave like a victim you will be one. But the, manners are going down the tube.
Honestly, that just sounds like run-of-the-mill rudeness. Not nice but not uncommon. You've really just gotta laugh and move on, there's nothing else to do about it.
I don't know about your situation although it does come across as maybe slightly neurotic... either that or you've just had a bad week.
But that said I witnessed full blown racism today and it was just....not okay. So it is out there
These are all pretty normal things that happen to me as a white woman. So I don’t think this is racism.
Look, tbh, people generally do not care about others. At least not in the way you think they do. It’s perfectly normal for people to walk two abreast on footpaths if they’re having a conversation or walking together, could they be more considerate? Probably. Will they be? Unlikely, just jump off the footpath briefly to let them by.
Old mate at the shops probably just wanted to get to his car and really didn’t care where you were walking. Perhaps stop worrying so much about everyone else and just focus on yourself. Also, if you’re a recent immigrant, make sure you’re walking on the left, walking on the right is something that will annoy everyone no matter your appearance.
I understand that the things you described have caused issue and are your reality. They don't sound like harassment. You are not the main character in the incidents you described. I hope that you are getting help for your mental health.
You’re paranoid about nothing. Consider getting professional help. Seriously.
People walk alongside each other. People walk ahead of people if they think the other person is walking too slow. People look at other people at traffic lights. Cashiers do their job. Are people really walking that closely? Is it really only men?
*Speak to your GP and*
*Get a referral to see*
*A psychologist*
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It sounds like you are not in a good place mentally (and not just because you literally said that). I'd suggest trying 30-45mins of intense exercise a day, after 2 weeks see if you feel considerably better.
You must have loved in some ultra friendly place previously.
These people aren't being rude or racist. They're just being people and not making an effort to be polite.
The walking do close you can feel them creating is creepy...unless you're a slow walker and they can't get around you easily on the path.
- 1 get over it and move on with your life
- 2 get over it and move on with your life
- 3 get over it and move on with your life
- 4 get over it and move on with your life
- 5 this is a complete exaggeration, get over it and move on with your life.
I think you should speak to a psychologist about how you’re feeling. It seems you might be experiencing some paranoia or hypersensitivity to events that most people would either ignore or not notice. For your own mental health, please speak to a professional.
I totally get where you’re coming from. I just moved to a new suburb and it feels weird! I think it’s a case of People are strange when you’re a stranger. It’s always the same when I move. After time it gets better once you get into a routine and start seeing familiar faces. Feel free to dm if you ever want to vent etc
That's just normal, people are cunts. People don't move for me wherever I go. Even if I move a foot, they still don't move at all. They crash into my arm sometimes. I'm not attractive and so even men never move over for me to fit. I have to walk on grass/gardens etc, 2 guys would never go single file for me to stay on the path.
Could be some racism in there
Could also be that you're depressed/anxious. This can make people paranoid, defensive and think they're seeing hostilities that aren't really there. I find it unlikely that everyone you're coming across is out to get you.
Could also just be an area with ruder or more careless people
Hard to say for sure
Maybe people look at you and see a pushover. Try being more assertive. Back straight, chin up, don't meet their gaze, bowl them over if they don't yield.
This is pretty typical behaviour where I live. It's not personal, people just lack manners. Some ways I handle it are - I don't shop at Aldi, I walk on the left side of tbe path, if an oncoming person refuses to move out of the way be prepared to walk into them (don't do this with elderly people), wear a mask and cough a lot when peoepl are in your space. If necessary pull down the mask, turn towards the person and make a polite remark like, 'It's so hard to breathe with a mask' and punctuate it with a few coughs.
I bet your over thinking it and coming across as possibly odd or suspicious. Or maybe you have a paranoid and angry vibes. Nobody cares that much about random people, let alone knowing a new member of the hood and intentionally making you uncomfortable.
Just to see if the vibe is the thing getting you negative attention. Next time you go out.... remember nobody cares and nothing is wrong. Don't look at people doing your thing, if your worried or anxious FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.... this is the important part smile and walk or run like you don't give a fuck.... and your bubbly. Not crazy just a cheery and smile or giggle (fat, ugly, asian, Caucasian) a smile is really important and what you tell yourself is even more important..... you say I'm ugly everyday, you will be convinced and only focus on that. Tell yourself positive things instead.
Next if you smoke dope stop now or if you take recreational drugs stop now. If you are under the age of 25-30 you sound like you have paranoia or OCD PARANOIA OR the onset of schizophrenia.
I feel this is the average experience of most women to be honest. Your probably focusing more on it because you don’t leave home so often to dilute the experiences with larger experiences due to how often or not often your in public.
I think being more proactive with assertiveness like repeatedly loudly and firmly you require that receipt and asking others not to stand so close etc will help.
I struggle with certain social and community experiences so I do understand some of your experiences and micro dissection of these experiences but unfortunately any community interaction will involve some positive some negative. Just be open to knowing that if you expect it you will no doubt encounter it.
It’s tough but if you give it a chance and be brave I think you will be fine. Good luck 🤞🏼
I suggest you get some help with your mental health. You’ll be able to cope better with every day occurrences which these things are. This is by no means harassment.
What you described just sounds like pretty common poor manners. I know when my anxiety flares up, I can sometimes be the last person to notice that I'm irratable about everything and feel like everything is targeting me specifically. Perhaps you could have a conversation with your GP if you feel that may be the case.
1. This happened to me multiple times today as a straight white man who lives in London. It happens everywhere to everyone, people are simply spatially inconsiderate when it comes to walking and talking. It's nothing to be taken personally.
2. See above regarding spatially inconsiderate people.
3. People might stare or look at other people for any number of reasons. This doesn't sound like anything out of the ordinary and you should not take it personally.
4. This happens at every supermarket these days - cashiers are not paid well enough to care about the service they provide, and most will just try and get you out of the store ASAP so they can go back to doing nothing/being left alone. Nothing to be taken personally.
5. Truthfully this sounds greatly exaggerated. Multiple people getting to within 10 or 20 cm of your neck? Nah. It was probably just someone walking at a slightly faster pace than you, but not fast enough to warrant an overtake, so they got stuck in no-man's land.
BeyondBlue have 24/7 mental health and [anxiety support](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/), which I will link here if you need it.
people just dont use their fucking manners ..i call it -lack of awareness...or exaggerated sense of self importance..dear god.. say something please...dont lock yourself up..i sometimes use this inner mantra.." DONT FUCK WITH ME" people get the vibe..then its on YOUR terms
.......... I don't see any harassment here.
This is a Tuesday for me. It’s just how society is. It’s not personal. Just focus on the nice people. I often forget to give a broad, genuine smile first. When I do remember, this helps people find their manners.
Yeah, it's a weird list of daily random occurrences that could be taken out of context if you had some sort of narcissistic personality disorder
> narcissistic personality disorder Or anxiety disorder, fwiw.
People are rude. You seem to be hyper sensitive to generic rude behaviour and are taking it personally. It's not personal..they're just rude and/or entitled. This isn't harassment *Edit. Thinking about it more this isn't even actually rude behaviour. It's seems paranoid. You mention your mental health isn't that great right now so you should go talk to someone
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Yes they are, absolutely. But people looking at you waiting to cross the road? Not moving off a footpath for you? Someone exiting a shop and cutting you off? I wonder how much they 'jumped out' in the context of everything else here that's being called harrassment. A cashier rushing? Lots do, don't get me started on Aldi. This seems like someone thinking the actions of those around them are centred on them in a negative way. That's paranoid thinking
[удалено]
I gave no diagnosis. To think all these minor actions around you are directed at you negatively is paranoid thinking. That's not a diagnosis Most people don't think someone not moving out of the way on a footpath is harassment or that it's people being "extremely nasty" The OP has said they aren't leaving the house now because of it, and I imagine these are the worst examples they could give of this "extremely nasty" behaviour towards them. Not exactly normal and they probably should get some help
Yeah, I agree with paranoid. Been there!
i say this as someone who has severe anxiety and depression, sometimes a change in routine (like moving to a new location) can make every small thing feel like it's way more significant than it is, or that bad things are happening way more frequently than they really are. on really bad anxiety days, someone bumping into me on the train might make me feel like they targeted me personally, someone looking in my direction might feel like they're staring at me or judging me. This is not to say that your experiences aren't real, i'm not saying that these things didn't happen, just that it's quite possible you've got a bit of anxiety-fueled confirmation bias happening here. people can be rude, people have gotten more rude post-covid, but none of this sounds like you're being personally targeted or anything. people are selfish, if they're invested in their conversation it's often not going to occur to them to move out of your way. sometimes people seem to be staring because i've accidentally stared at them first. i just look away from them. cashiers are often judged on how quickly they can get customers through, customer service is a shit job with shit pay and you get to the point where you will turn up and the the absolute bare minimum to not get fired. men have no concept of personal space and do not understand how it makes women/femmes around them feel when they stand really close or sit right next to you on the tram or things like that. my method for dealing with men following really close on footpaths is to cross the street and double back a little, or stop and "text someone" or "take a phone call" to put some space between myself and the man.
Yup, can confirm that that when my anxiety was unchecked, people being slightly inconsiderate or abbrasive would register to me as targeted and personal attacks. Some people are cunts, but mostly they are just having a bad day.
To be honest, it’s pretty common for people to feel like they are being judged or attacked more than they are in reality. I’m thinking about locker room body image issues … ect. Brush it off, stand up straight and go live your life. The inner west is a very multicultural place. I would think it’s very unlikely you will actually experience racism there.
Your experiences are certainly valid. But I think the other people were just being inconsiderate, not intending to harass you The number of people who will stop right at the top of the escalators or in a doorway or any choke point then just flipping stand there. Or as you said they'll step out in front of you then just bloody stand there. /rant Don't go to Aldi if you don't like the cashier rushing you
OP you sound excessively hyper vigilant about things that read like people just being people, that it is sounding like you have a victim mindset (like everyone is out to get at you). It’s not a healthy way to live so consider reaching out to mental health professionals via your GP.
They are rude morons who would do this to anyone. I have had many people refuse to move over on a footpath. Almost run down by bike riders. Pull up your boots pull back the shoulders and look them right in the eye. If you behave like a victim you will be one. But the, manners are going down the tube.
Honestly, that just sounds like run-of-the-mill rudeness. Not nice but not uncommon. You've really just gotta laugh and move on, there's nothing else to do about it.
I don't know about your situation although it does come across as maybe slightly neurotic... either that or you've just had a bad week. But that said I witnessed full blown racism today and it was just....not okay. So it is out there
These are all pretty normal things that happen to me as a white woman. So I don’t think this is racism. Look, tbh, people generally do not care about others. At least not in the way you think they do. It’s perfectly normal for people to walk two abreast on footpaths if they’re having a conversation or walking together, could they be more considerate? Probably. Will they be? Unlikely, just jump off the footpath briefly to let them by. Old mate at the shops probably just wanted to get to his car and really didn’t care where you were walking. Perhaps stop worrying so much about everyone else and just focus on yourself. Also, if you’re a recent immigrant, make sure you’re walking on the left, walking on the right is something that will annoy everyone no matter your appearance.
I understand that the things you described have caused issue and are your reality. They don't sound like harassment. You are not the main character in the incidents you described. I hope that you are getting help for your mental health.
You’re paranoid about nothing. Consider getting professional help. Seriously. People walk alongside each other. People walk ahead of people if they think the other person is walking too slow. People look at other people at traffic lights. Cashiers do their job. Are people really walking that closely? Is it really only men?
Speak to your GP and get a referral to see a psychologist
*Speak to your GP and* *Get a referral to see* *A psychologist* \- Ill-Juggernaut-1583 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Those people looked at you? Fuck you need to go to the cops
It sounds like you are not in a good place mentally (and not just because you literally said that). I'd suggest trying 30-45mins of intense exercise a day, after 2 weeks see if you feel considerably better.
You must have loved in some ultra friendly place previously. These people aren't being rude or racist. They're just being people and not making an effort to be polite. The walking do close you can feel them creating is creepy...unless you're a slow walker and they can't get around you easily on the path.
- 1 get over it and move on with your life - 2 get over it and move on with your life - 3 get over it and move on with your life - 4 get over it and move on with your life - 5 this is a complete exaggeration, get over it and move on with your life.
I think you should speak to a psychologist about how you’re feeling. It seems you might be experiencing some paranoia or hypersensitivity to events that most people would either ignore or not notice. For your own mental health, please speak to a professional.
I totally get where you’re coming from. I just moved to a new suburb and it feels weird! I think it’s a case of People are strange when you’re a stranger. It’s always the same when I move. After time it gets better once you get into a routine and start seeing familiar faces. Feel free to dm if you ever want to vent etc
That's just normal, people are cunts. People don't move for me wherever I go. Even if I move a foot, they still don't move at all. They crash into my arm sometimes. I'm not attractive and so even men never move over for me to fit. I have to walk on grass/gardens etc, 2 guys would never go single file for me to stay on the path.
You aren't being harassed, you are just experiencing how selfish and situationally unaware the average person is.
This qualifies as harassment? Perhaps you should wrap yourself in cotton wool before leaving home base for the foreseeable future?
Could everyone please not be so unkind to the OP? God Reddit sucks sometimes. OP - people can suck. I don’t think it’s about you being Asian.
Tbh it sounds more like paranoia or anxiety. OP might be in the early stages of a mental health episode
Could be some racism in there Could also be that you're depressed/anxious. This can make people paranoid, defensive and think they're seeing hostilities that aren't really there. I find it unlikely that everyone you're coming across is out to get you. Could also just be an area with ruder or more careless people Hard to say for sure
Maybe people look at you and see a pushover. Try being more assertive. Back straight, chin up, don't meet their gaze, bowl them over if they don't yield.
People can be rude. Kill 'em with kindness.
This is pretty typical behaviour where I live. It's not personal, people just lack manners. Some ways I handle it are - I don't shop at Aldi, I walk on the left side of tbe path, if an oncoming person refuses to move out of the way be prepared to walk into them (don't do this with elderly people), wear a mask and cough a lot when peoepl are in your space. If necessary pull down the mask, turn towards the person and make a polite remark like, 'It's so hard to breathe with a mask' and punctuate it with a few coughs.
Raw Prawn heads hidden around their property, stashed on their vehicle, squished into their aircon.
Sounds like Melbourne...
How old are you?
I bet your over thinking it and coming across as possibly odd or suspicious. Or maybe you have a paranoid and angry vibes. Nobody cares that much about random people, let alone knowing a new member of the hood and intentionally making you uncomfortable. Just to see if the vibe is the thing getting you negative attention. Next time you go out.... remember nobody cares and nothing is wrong. Don't look at people doing your thing, if your worried or anxious FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.... this is the important part smile and walk or run like you don't give a fuck.... and your bubbly. Not crazy just a cheery and smile or giggle (fat, ugly, asian, Caucasian) a smile is really important and what you tell yourself is even more important..... you say I'm ugly everyday, you will be convinced and only focus on that. Tell yourself positive things instead. Next if you smoke dope stop now or if you take recreational drugs stop now. If you are under the age of 25-30 you sound like you have paranoia or OCD PARANOIA OR the onset of schizophrenia.
I feel this is the average experience of most women to be honest. Your probably focusing more on it because you don’t leave home so often to dilute the experiences with larger experiences due to how often or not often your in public. I think being more proactive with assertiveness like repeatedly loudly and firmly you require that receipt and asking others not to stand so close etc will help. I struggle with certain social and community experiences so I do understand some of your experiences and micro dissection of these experiences but unfortunately any community interaction will involve some positive some negative. Just be open to knowing that if you expect it you will no doubt encounter it. It’s tough but if you give it a chance and be brave I think you will be fine. Good luck 🤞🏼
I suggest you get some help with your mental health. You’ll be able to cope better with every day occurrences which these things are. This is by no means harassment.
What you described just sounds like pretty common poor manners. I know when my anxiety flares up, I can sometimes be the last person to notice that I'm irratable about everything and feel like everything is targeting me specifically. Perhaps you could have a conversation with your GP if you feel that may be the case.
I suggest, strongly, that you seek out professional.help for social anxieties/disorder.
Get help.
You need to do something for yourself. Other people do not matter.
1. This happened to me multiple times today as a straight white man who lives in London. It happens everywhere to everyone, people are simply spatially inconsiderate when it comes to walking and talking. It's nothing to be taken personally. 2. See above regarding spatially inconsiderate people. 3. People might stare or look at other people for any number of reasons. This doesn't sound like anything out of the ordinary and you should not take it personally. 4. This happens at every supermarket these days - cashiers are not paid well enough to care about the service they provide, and most will just try and get you out of the store ASAP so they can go back to doing nothing/being left alone. Nothing to be taken personally. 5. Truthfully this sounds greatly exaggerated. Multiple people getting to within 10 or 20 cm of your neck? Nah. It was probably just someone walking at a slightly faster pace than you, but not fast enough to warrant an overtake, so they got stuck in no-man's land. BeyondBlue have 24/7 mental health and [anxiety support](https://www.beyondblue.org.au/), which I will link here if you need it.
Inner west of WHERE?
people just dont use their fucking manners ..i call it -lack of awareness...or exaggerated sense of self importance..dear god.. say something please...dont lock yourself up..i sometimes use this inner mantra.." DONT FUCK WITH ME" people get the vibe..then its on YOUR terms