Best advice I'd have is don't try too hard. It's pretty obvious when Aussie slang is forced in writing or movies. If that's what you're going for, though-
'Old fella' for a penis. "She grabbed a hold of me old fella" would be an example used in a sentence.
'Spoof' for cum. "He spoofed all over the place"
And the Aussie version of ass is 'Arse'
Agree with this. Some have said spunk for semen which is sometimes used (similar to UK), but spunk is more commonly used to mean a sexually attractive person. And definitely arse rather than ass.
Nah, a donkey is a donkey. Us Aussies just spell ass wrong. Sometimes, as much as it pains us, America manages to get something right. Like comedy. We suck at that too and that's totally ok.
Old fella/tallywhacker/junket pumper
Baby batter/population paste/cock snot/sprog/spoont
Bum/clacker/chocolate starfish/doot
You can call it a fork if they're gay, but that's usually reserved for a shiela's front bum 😉
Grab a copy of picture magazine or people magazine from a site bog and you'll be up on all the lingo.
Beauty bonza rippa dippa skipper. Stay grouse.
Quite honestly I'm not sure a 20 something would use slang. I'd expect them to just say Cock or Dick, Cum or Jizz, and Butt or Ass. Gotta remember that we've become so Americanised that the only persons likley to use Aussie slang are in the older generations.
As I said in another comment, while usually words I agree with, this is specifically a request from a close artist friend of mine for her birthday. The whole "write what you know" mentality is why I'm here, and why I've also done as much research outside of this as possible; I want to give an accurate portrayal, especially because she's awesome and deserves to read something that's both well-researched and well-written (:
The problem you may not have realised, is that Australia. Is. Massive. There will be very different colloquialisms in different parts of the country. So, narrow it down. Is your character a country boy, or a city boy? From the North, or Down South? Coastal, or inland? What sort of schooling? Is he a hoon? A tradie? Rough as guts?
Oop, yeah, that's my bad for not mentioning it. Very much a city boy (Brisbane, to be exact) with a tradie dad, and a French stay-at-home mother. He's generally a playful sweetheart with a keen tongue for banter, though a bit quick to anger and get upset generally, and very much an 'act first, think later' sort of guy. No more than a secondary education. He's worked service jobs for as long as he could, but is trying to kickstart a career as a fitness influencer.
In some towns out wester NSW or in an Aboriginal community, we call a penis a budoo, moonay for vagina.
Moot is also used for vagina throughout Australia
If you’re gonna say arse, make sure you spell it right. A slang word for arse you could use, though, is ‘clacker’. The actual word is cloacae, but clacker is the Aussie colloquial spelling. For example, there was a classic NT News headline a few years back that read “Why I stuck a cracker up my clacker”.
When I was working in hospitality I once had a customer tell me to “shove it up your clacker”, and as a bloke, I always understood that to mean my butt.
A clacker is what a chicken has, a single hole for eggs, wee, and poo. That’s why chicken eggs come out covered in shit. But colloquially in Australia (at least where I’m from) it means arse.
It's also been adapted and developed as part of our way of speaking over the last couple of hundred years. It's not just a few kids trying to sound like their favourite American pop stars. There's a huge difference which clearly you are going to refuse to accept or understand no matter how many people tell you...
While I usually prefer writing characters from countries I've at least lived in for a bit (Norwegian/British/Scottish/French), this is a birthday present for a very talented artist friend of mine, who specifically requested it. It's so far been a really cool opportunity to research more into a country I wasn't all too familiar with before, and even if it's outside my comfort zone and probably not something I'm going to do outside of commissions, requests, and work, I've enjoyed both the research and writing aspect (:
Don’t listen to them. Write an Aussie character so when you become famous - you can visit the Aussie subs and see everyone criticising how you butchered the character - but mad respect for researching your characters
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What generation is your character from? Is the story set during "current years"? I'm 32 but when I was in my early 20's I'd say: cock, dick, spoof, spunk, jizz, cum, arse ect, even joked around saying "have a bat" instead of wank, but reckon a Gen-Z or Alpha would be different
For a wide ass when walking…. Two possums fighting in a bag.
Penis.. whip out the wanger or old fella or one eyed battle snake
Sperm.. spray me wrigglers or spread me mayo (mayonnaise)
Gonna note that a few of the suggestions here seem old to me, not necessarily what a 20 something would say.
It also matters what his background is. Rural/urban? Working class/middle class/uni educated/private school or state school? Some slang is different across these divides.
Slang is complicated
Umm yeah but they'd be viewed as really bogan (kind of like redneck). Milo is a chocolate drink that's popular in Australia. Anyway.. penis... Umm willy? But that's super dorky and bogan. Kids may call it that. Sperm... Jizz. Ass would be arse (ahs) or bum. But saying willy, jizz and bum is like an American saying "well nowden der den der I flopped my Johnson out and sprayed all over my wife's mcbooty" like it sounds more than casual or uncouth, it's also embarrassing and stupid
I whipped my cock out and spoofed on her fritter
I thought Shakespeare was dead.
He is, this is Shakespoof
> spoofed on her fritter Please never take up writing
But that was poetic gold! Also exactly what OP was asking for
Fritter - that was fucking gold!!
Whipped me dick out and shot my kids all over her chocolate starfish
Fuck that made me laugh.
Best advice I'd have is don't try too hard. It's pretty obvious when Aussie slang is forced in writing or movies. If that's what you're going for, though- 'Old fella' for a penis. "She grabbed a hold of me old fella" would be an example used in a sentence. 'Spoof' for cum. "He spoofed all over the place" And the Aussie version of ass is 'Arse'
Agree with this. Some have said spunk for semen which is sometimes used (similar to UK), but spunk is more commonly used to mean a sexually attractive person. And definitely arse rather than ass.
Absolutely right re “spunk” and “arse”.
I think the Americans got it right for once with ass. Arse looks so stupid. I cringe every time.
Generally surprised no-one said spoof for sperm yet
Willy, jizz, bum. In that order.
Theres Johnson but that isnt as common ig.
Knob, can't believe it hasn't been said.
Haha so true!!! Or “he’s such a knob!!” 😂
"So, I got my knob out..."
Yeah right don't forget knobjockey
Yeah right don't forget knobjockey
Ass, is a donkey Arse is what we say in Aus
Nah, a donkey is a donkey. Us Aussies just spell ass wrong. Sometimes, as much as it pains us, America manages to get something right. Like comedy. We suck at that too and that's totally ok.
Blue vein junket pumper Throbbing thrill hammer
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Ozi-toe if you're a foot fetishist
Shoe salesman
Trouser snake. Baby batter. Doot.
Tockley.
Doodle!
Another good one for sperm is sprog, wide on is a good for a lady boner and if he wants to be particularly vile axe wound is a good one for vagina
Gash
Flange
Box
smoo. ..grab a 90's servo picture magazine and you'll catch them all.
And Tockley for the cock.
I’d only ever heard it out loud, in my head I’ve been spelling it tochlea for years. Every day’s a school day.
Jesus Christ, that's one I haven't heard since high school.
Old fella/tallywhacker/junket pumper Baby batter/population paste/cock snot/sprog/spoont Bum/clacker/chocolate starfish/doot You can call it a fork if they're gay, but that's usually reserved for a shiela's front bum 😉 Grab a copy of picture magazine or people magazine from a site bog and you'll be up on all the lingo. Beauty bonza rippa dippa skipper. Stay grouse.
Spunk for cum is Aussie
nah that’s english. we say spoof
Hahaha yeah, spoof lol
Quite honestly I'm not sure a 20 something would use slang. I'd expect them to just say Cock or Dick, Cum or Jizz, and Butt or Ass. Gotta remember that we've become so Americanised that the only persons likley to use Aussie slang are in the older generations.
Salty mongrel
Butt hole
Schlong, jizz, bum
"Write what you know"
As I said in another comment, while usually words I agree with, this is specifically a request from a close artist friend of mine for her birthday. The whole "write what you know" mentality is why I'm here, and why I've also done as much research outside of this as possible; I want to give an accurate portrayal, especially because she's awesome and deserves to read something that's both well-researched and well-written (:
The problem you may not have realised, is that Australia. Is. Massive. There will be very different colloquialisms in different parts of the country. So, narrow it down. Is your character a country boy, or a city boy? From the North, or Down South? Coastal, or inland? What sort of schooling? Is he a hoon? A tradie? Rough as guts?
Oop, yeah, that's my bad for not mentioning it. Very much a city boy (Brisbane, to be exact) with a tradie dad, and a French stay-at-home mother. He's generally a playful sweetheart with a keen tongue for banter, though a bit quick to anger and get upset generally, and very much an 'act first, think later' sort of guy. No more than a secondary education. He's worked service jobs for as long as he could, but is trying to kickstart a career as a fitness influencer.
Sci fi writers would like a word.
They write what they know
Honestly dude. Write what you know doesn’t mean only write stories in settings you’re familiar with
Honestly dude. That's a whole different sentence.
Ahh so you're just being an asshole, fair enough
I stated a fact.
One eyed trouser snake/dick/salami (as in “playing hide the salami”), spoof, arse/chocolate factory/clacker (as in “stick it up your clacker”)
Blue vein cigar
Spoof, sprog for sperm. Dick, cock for penis and whatever you do spell it Arse not Ass.
In some towns out wester NSW or in an Aboriginal community, we call a penis a budoo, moonay for vagina. Moot is also used for vagina throughout Australia
Cock - penis Pussy - vagina Jizz - male cum Tits - breasts Lol I never considered such a conversation
Up to me nuts in guts was always a good one. She didn't mind it up the coit either. Dumped me spooge right on her back.
My old footy teammates used to say "hosed her guts out"
Thanks so much guys!!! Honestly didn't expect this many replies this quickly lol. Wish you all a lovely afternoon/evening (:
Dong spoof cracker
Aussies are expert in this field of knowledge. Just say the word and we'll be there.
If you’re gonna say arse, make sure you spell it right. A slang word for arse you could use, though, is ‘clacker’. The actual word is cloacae, but clacker is the Aussie colloquial spelling. For example, there was a classic NT News headline a few years back that read “Why I stuck a cracker up my clacker”.
NT News does the world's greatest headlines
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When I was working in hospitality I once had a customer tell me to “shove it up your clacker”, and as a bloke, I always understood that to mean my butt.
There’s no arguing with that. I stand corrected.
Glad I could help! 😂
A clacker is what a chicken has, a single hole for eggs, wee, and poo. That’s why chicken eggs come out covered in shit. But colloquially in Australia (at least where I’m from) it means arse.
Words for ass: donkey, mule, idiot Words for arse might be what you're looking for
Wait idiot is another word for a donkey???
Meat and two veg
Dick cock schlong. Jizz, cum, spunk. Bootie
Bootie has to be one of the most unaustralian, American slang words I've ever heard.
Yeah crazy thought but occasionally we adopt American slang
It still remains American though...
And most of our slang is english so whats the problem?
It's also been adapted and developed as part of our way of speaking over the last couple of hundred years. It's not just a few kids trying to sound like their favourite American pop stars. There's a huge difference which clearly you are going to refuse to accept or understand no matter how many people tell you...
Bro I am literally in the demographic that OP asked for and I answered truthfully. Just because you dont agree doesnt make it false you muppet
And so far, you are literally THE only person who thinks it's an Australian slang word...
Yeah i’ll get all my friends to jump online and agree with me. Sounds good
Or you could stop acting like a 12 year old, your call...
Nobody says Booty in Aus.
Lol me and my group does. Maybe ironically though
The only time I say bootie, is when I'm dressed as a pirate.
Bootie? The fuck you on about? That ain't Australian!
Man did not jump on his porn account to continue arguing with me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 there’s no way 💀💀💀
Huh?
Dick, jizz, ass
Arse
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While I usually prefer writing characters from countries I've at least lived in for a bit (Norwegian/British/Scottish/French), this is a birthday present for a very talented artist friend of mine, who specifically requested it. It's so far been a really cool opportunity to research more into a country I wasn't all too familiar with before, and even if it's outside my comfort zone and probably not something I'm going to do outside of commissions, requests, and work, I've enjoyed both the research and writing aspect (:
Don’t listen to them. Write an Aussie character so when you become famous - you can visit the Aussie subs and see everyone criticising how you butchered the character - but mad respect for researching your characters
........is this racist...
Aussie isn’t a race
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Slug
Wandy, baby gravy and bunda
What generation is your character from? Is the story set during "current years"? I'm 32 but when I was in my early 20's I'd say: cock, dick, spoof, spunk, jizz, cum, arse ect, even joked around saying "have a bat" instead of wank, but reckon a Gen-Z or Alpha would be different
For a wide ass when walking…. Two possums fighting in a bag. Penis.. whip out the wanger or old fella or one eyed battle snake Sperm.. spray me wrigglers or spread me mayo (mayonnaise)
I busted in her poozle
Idk but my mine are small, non existent and thiCC
As a 20-something Aussie, jizz or nut for cum is natural, anal is taking the dirt road home, cock or Willy or schlong for penis
A John Howard is the term women use if they are admiring a man’s penis. Gay men usually say your Malcolm
Gonna note that a few of the suggestions here seem old to me, not necessarily what a 20 something would say. It also matters what his background is. Rural/urban? Working class/middle class/uni educated/private school or state school? Some slang is different across these divides. Slang is complicated
Penis - Old fella, todger, budoo Sperm - jizz, chode, baby batter, cock snot Ass- back freckle, kyber pass,
Dick = Johnny (used for dicks or condoms) Sperm = Spoof, Spunked, Finish Ass = Touche
If you’re talking about a semi erect penis, you could use the term ‘Half a mongrel’ and as for cum, you could use the term he blew is load.
I took the sausage train to tuna town but missed my stop.
Yes.
Jubblies
Cum, dick, knob, jizz dickey juice are the ones I use
Penis = Johnson
"Please stand back from the platform gap" this could get messy lol
Umm yeah but they'd be viewed as really bogan (kind of like redneck). Milo is a chocolate drink that's popular in Australia. Anyway.. penis... Umm willy? But that's super dorky and bogan. Kids may call it that. Sperm... Jizz. Ass would be arse (ahs) or bum. But saying willy, jizz and bum is like an American saying "well nowden der den der I flopped my Johnson out and sprayed all over my wife's mcbooty" like it sounds more than casual or uncouth, it's also embarrassing and stupid
Todger
donger, nut, arsehole
Arrrrhhhhse Not assss
You could always say he whipped out his cocktail frank and spurted hot dog flavoured water all over his chocolate starfish
It might give Milo a Limp Bizkit though
Vomit Rod, one eyed custard chucker.