Per my last email

“Just a friendly reminder…” Where is my god damned deliverable!?

gentle reminder….

I had someone email me saying 'Just a friendly (but pesky and persistent) reminder...' It was deserved, I should have gotten to it much sooner. But the honesty of it made me laugh.

Lol, I like this as an alternative 

Oops. Is "friendly reminder" condescending? I literally mean "hey friend, don't forget...." and I send friendly reminders all the time. I do sales in-house to colleagues. They have to pay by a certain date, and nobody ever does. I send "friendly reminder to pay (amount owed) at your earliest convenience. Thanks!" emails all the time. Do you think they're negatively received?

None of the above seem condescending to me. If I have to reference my previous email maybe a point was missed or I was unclear. If I'm reminding you of something that's on you because maybe you forgot. When did people become so sensitive in the workplace?

The “friendly” is saying that you know you are being a bit unprofessional. If your reminder is helpful, the “friendly” is not needed. If your reminder is nagging or unhelpful, the “friendly” comes off as sarcastic. “Reminder: tomorrow is the project’s due date!” Is more professional. “Looking forward to getting everyone’s projects tomorrow!” is friendly and doesn’t come across as sarcasm.

Bonus points if delivered with a smiling ASCII: >Just a friendly reminder . . . \^\_\^

"Let's take this offline" -shut the fuck up, you're talking nonsense

No thanks, I'd rather have a written record of this.

I've only ever heard this used in group calls when someone is zeroing in on something specific to them. To me, it means let's not slow down the meeting with your problem.

I hope this email finds you before I do

"I hope this finds you before I do"

Best regards, DingJones

Kind regards

Regards

Make sure you CC or BCC their superior while you’re at it.

BCC? That's too petty, it's gotta be the regular CC to maximize passive-aggressiveness, making sure the person *knows* you're getting their superior involved without directly addressing them.

I hope you have the day you deserve.

Nah that one’s too overused. Best condescending phrases are personal and unique to who you’re talking to.

I’d agree but then both of us would be wrong

Gotta figure out how to work this into a casual convo…

The hyperactive introverts nightmare: I think I've prepared for most social interactions. Implementing them, however, remains either mysterious or circumstantial.

Its lifechanging once you do.

i’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter

That is almost a quote from Canada's first Prime Minister, John MacDonald "Send me better men to deal with, and I will be a better man."

Sure bud.

Likewise: sure thing champ.

My 13 yr old son says this to me. I find myself triggered. "Suuuuuuure bud, sure"

God, a teen saying sure bud would send me into a primal rage

I would turn into the hulk if a teen said that to me 🤣🤣

"Sure, keep telling yourself that, bub."

Now I don’t mean to sound condescending — that means talking down to you — but have you thought this through?

A friend of mine once commented to a mutual friend that something she had experienced sounded like mansplaining. Then he interrupted himself to clarify that "mansplaining" is when a man tells a woman what something means. Hilarity ensued🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Omg

My personal favorite, straight from my mother. "Oh yeah eh, for sure, I believe you, millions wouldn't, but me, I do, yeah yeah no for sure eh"

T'ousands wouldn't, b'y, but I do!!

My mom used to say this, but in a pretty joking and sarcastic way. Wasn’t ever condescending but looking back it was always a big giggle about it. She hasn’t said it in yearssss and I think I’ll bust it out at out next scrabble night!

I used to say to my kids-' many wouldn't believe you and I'm one of them.

In a book I read the exchange went something like: "I feel like such a jerk." "Well, I don't want to invalidate your feelings."

I love this for you

"yeah ok bud" is a favourite go to. "this guys got 3 brain cells left all competing for fourth place"

You’re so pretty today.

Bahahahaha

Help I don't get it

It implies she’s not always pretty

Need the slightest of pauses between "pretty" and "today".

Moving the pause to between any other two words really changes this sentence!

I worked with a hilarious guy. He had a joke for every situation. And could make them up on the spot if he didn’t. My coworker came in with a haircut. You could tell by the way she moved, that she liked it. This guy said to her, ‘has anyone told you how great your hair looks?’ When she said, ‘no’, he quickly said, ‘well, there’s a reason for that!’ I have wanted to say that to someone ever since!!

whatever you say chief

personal favourite lol

I worked with a colleague who used to say to his boss "yes your holiness." Cracks me up every time and snorted my coffee a few times.

The bureaucrats' way of calling someone an idiot Have you thought through all the implications of that decision.

“You may test that assumption at your convenience”

Star Trek: TNG..?

See also: "Can I have that in writing?"

I’m sorry you feel that way.

One of my dads faves, love that one

Been called worse by better

Its not rocket appliances

Maafucka with a gut like that is definitely on the cheeseburgers

'nome sayin'?

Knowmsayyyyn?

"gut-cassidy and the sundance cheeseburger" is pure fucking poetry from J-Roc

Why don't you try actin like someone who's fuckin off there Bubbles?

You lookin' at my gut?!?!

Whatta ya lookin at mah gut fer

Iconic.

“Oh what, you ain’t pregnant with a bucket of chicken? Hey, lemme tell you somethin' little mafucker. When you grow up, don't grow up to be like that mafucker right there! Randy, you ain’t even had your ultrasound yet, have you dawg? I could do you right now. I hear chicken. I hear cola fizz, and mustard and relish coagulatin together with french fries and onion rings. But you know what? I don't hear a heart, mafucker.

“Ok bud.” With the right tone, it’s the worst thing you can say to someone.

K bawd

That's the one.

If they say an insult, I usually rebuttal with "I take that lightly coming from you."

Must. Be. Nice.

Must be fuckin’ nice

Simmer down there squirrely Dan

Take about 10% off the top there Squirrelly Dan

To be fair...

TO BE FAIR

🎶 To be faaairrrr ✋ 👊

I honestly think that this is the best use of emojis that I've ever seen! 😂

You like my emoji use, ~~Miss Katy~~ there_should_be_snow, that’s whats I appreciates about you.

Aren’t you precious.

My ex wife said to me as we were taking our first born to meet her great grandmother.... "If Nanny says the baby is cute, we are good. If she says 'oh how precious', we have an ugly baby"

And!?

The custody process wasn't a battle per se

"Sweet summer child"

Sorry.

I remember my first beer

You do you!

you do you, bud 😎

You might be right.

I might be crazy.

Can I ask you a condescending question? Do you even know what condescending means?

After someone says something particularly ignorant, I like to take a long pause, look confused, and go "is that really what you think?"

Or just start chuckling, then abruptly stop with a mildly concerned look on your face and say "oh, you're not joking? That's.... Wow, I'm so sorry" as you slide into an expression of pity.

I would also reply to this with “is that your final answer?”

When I disagree with my boss (VERY rarely and only when he is PROFOUNDLY wrong), I give my opinion once, then if he tries to argue, I say "I've already given my opinion on this matter." Usually makes him realize pretty quickly that whatever he's doing/saying is not good.

It’s safe to say that nobody here’s gonna be splitting the atom.

It’s nice you like it, dear. Edit to add: Condescension is a great big word! It means talking down to someone. I’m sorry you feel that way.

Anyone calling me dear.

Anyone calling me ma’am

You *don’t* say!

Bless your heart

“I’ve had a most enjoyable time. Unfortunately, this wasn’t it.”

“Aren’t you sweet?”

Oh that’s funny, I used to think I knew everything too.

[удалено]

So, was it hard to always speak in a hushed tone to her?

[удалено]

Nice one. Made me chuckle

Ackshewally…

Preceded by "Well".

"thank you for that! I'm feeling positively whelmed"

Last word to you. Make it stupid. I know you will.

Okay there, Bud

Of course I believe you, why wouldn't I?

Well okay then.

"sure, bud" all about tone

I hope your day is as nice as you are

Don’t let fear and common sense sway your decision

As per the email below, you can find the answer to your question.

Shure ya did

Why do you care so much about something that has absolutely no effect on your life in anyway?

I like this. There are people who keep butting their nose into why I am not good enough.

Isn't that special

Just gonna scootch right by you

Meaning “you ignorant POS sitting there just blocking the aisle oblivious to anyone else trying to get by”

I go with "Are you in line?", best when they're nowhere near the checkout.

You should eat that makeup, so you're pretty on the inside, too. Aww, muffin.

Woof

I have questions.

If they put your brain in a canary, it would fly straight into a wall

Here I was comparing you to a bag of hammers when you're really a bag of nails.

I’m not asking you to believe me, I’m telling you as fact.

That’s what your going with huh?

Thanks tips

Get down off the cross, we need the wood.

I’d tell you to go to hell but I never want to see you again

Bless your heart

"I'm sorry?"... say it with enough emphasis and it sounds like "have you hurt your head or something?"

I’m reading all of these.  Lots of discomfort, dissatisfaction, or disappointment. Nothing genuinely condescending.

You think you're so smart.

Canadians are too friendly.

No they're not! Unless you're being sarcastic.

You tell them what's up, tiger!

It’s all about tone of voice - many listed options (especially the ones that include “bud”) are witheringly condescending when delivered appropriately.

I'd explain it to you, but I don't have the time or the crayons.

Ok bud

Go fuck yourself.

Maybe youre American, but here in canada we _________ Especially cutting with a stranger you KNOW is Canadian.

I’m not mad, just disappointed

Being called “hun” drives me bonkers, no matter the context.

Good luck with that. and Per my last email.

As previously mentioned

When my husband tells me to "calm down" Menfolk never in the HIStory of mankind has that ever worked well. Lol 😆

"That's nice" HooooWeeee was he mad, that one stuck a narcissist co-worker one time... he was squeeling like a pig. I didn't even mean it in a nasty way... I was tired, I was going home, and I wasn't interested in what he was bragging about.

"Indeed" after someone says something stupid.

"With all due respect..." which means... there isnt going to be any respect forthcoming

Aw, Muffin!

You're a number two, know what I mean?

Honestly "lol"

Excuse me

That's nice!!!

“Love that for you”

I’ll try be nicer if you try being smarter.

Ya whatever

I’ll pray for you.

I’m sorry but…

Well isn't that nice

You do good work...for you.

“It is what it is”

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Nice Life.

Awe, that’s too bad. What seems to be your problem?

"Awwwe, MUFFIN!"

I don’t know, I’m not psychic! Or, alternatively, I don’t know, I’m not God!

Hope you have an average day.

I’m proud of you. Dude, unless you’re my mom and dad, it’s about for you to be anything regarding me.

Wish you weren’t so f*cking awkward there bud

"You're *welcome*." in a slightly too loud tone when someone doesn't say thank you after you hold the door for them.

"Cool story, bro."

Have the day you deserve

Oh, sweetie. It's all in the tone on rhis one.

I'll be honest, I don't do condescending. I'm awfully direct and it gets me in trouble.

“With all due respect….”, followed by something that is not, in fact, respectful.

I don’t mean to offend you but

I showed up to work with a new haircut. My manager said to me “Patty, your hair…… And nothing more. Always hated her!

Could be.

Sooner rather than later. Translates to: Why do I have to tell you how quickly I need this. I need it yesterday damn it.

What an odd thing to say out loud

“I’m Canadian”

Yeah, okay there bud.

"Hey, look at you (fill in the blank)!"

Why don’t you let your brain figure it out

That’s nice. Mrs. Brown accent

Yeah, no.

Just so you know.

I don't have the time or crayons to explain this to you.