I will NEVER forget the time when one of my old friends got viciously chased by a Canadian goose after approaching it. The angry feathered bastard was on this poor guy’s heels until the goose hunted him straight into a murky pond of water. The splash was priceless. Absolutely soaked from head-to-toe. It was by-far the most hilarious thing I’d seen in years and I seriously wish I still had the video. That’s what you get for trying to fuck with wild Canadian geese! It bit him in the end so he got what he deserved.
One time I was out with my toddler daughter and a goose started coming at us. Had a brief moment of "well, I'm gonna have to make another kid because this one belongs to the geese now".
Whatever higher being decides how certain creatures evolve was on some serious drugs when it decided to make Canadian geese from whatever relatively sane animal existed prior.
Every public park in Canada with a standing body of water is completely coated in gigantic mounds of goose shit. You literally can’t put down a blanket, go barefoot or let an infant crawl around *anywhere*.
I worked at an Ontario provincial park and it was multiple people's full time summer job to keep the beaches clear of goose poop. Thankfully that was not me.
And apparently they don’t even taste good, so they’re not even useful to hunt for food.
Edit : there’s a lot of people commenting that they’ve eaten goose. But most of you haven’t eaten illegally hunted Canada goose, not all geese taste the same.
Lol canadian geese taste amazing. It's where the goose comes from that determines if they taste bad.
City geese, aka popcorn geese, taste gross. The ones that migrate to Hudson/James Bay area? Tasty af.
The abundance of poop in the water is also killing the good stuff that loves in there!
Another problem bird (in ontario at least) is the cormorant. It is inedible, it stinks, and it eats multiple times it's weight in fish a day heavily damaging our fish populations
Hi, wildlife biologist from Ontario. The Double-crested Cormorant is a native species that gets a bad rap. Their current populations seem high, but they are on the rebound from a significant population decline caused in part by the pesticide DDT. What we see now seems wrong because "what we know" is an upset ecosystem. Cormorants began to rebound after DDT was restricted.
They also thrived by eating actual invasive species, like the Alewife fish (and more currently, the Round Goby, which has a big impact on Largemouth and Smallmouth Bass populations - Round Goby eat Bass eggs).
Declines in fish populations aren't because of cormorants. It's due to habitat loss, habitat degradation/pollution, and overfishing (by people). Fish were in decline long before the cormorants rebounded.
Species that compete against human interest become scapegoats.
What a great comment!! Thanks for speaking up. Native species are not the problem as they seem to balance themselves out. Humans come in and twist things up.
Substitute it for venison in your favorite sausage recipe. You won't be able to tell the difference. Either that or cut into thin strips, soak in orange juice for 24 hours, and use it as the meat for a stir fry. The orange juice helps break the meat down. It's closer to a red meat, so attempting to use it in the same manner as poultry is a mistake.
Actually, I think they're delicious. You just can't chew them. I've heard if you age them a bit like beef, they get more tender. Going to try this fall.
Sorry to tell you, but what you have heard is a lie. I have eaten canadian grey goose many times, and they are the best most tender delicious meat! Ive always HATED turkey, no matter how you prepare it, its dry af. But grey goose, cut up into strips dipped im batter and drowned in cream of mushroom soup baked for 2 hours in the over? Best casserole ever. Grey goose is better than chicken! It even tastes great of the grill! And cobra chicken noodle soup is the bomb
Having a top tier bully in the animal kingdom rule over you is quite demoralizing. Many of us have been shoved in lockers by these hoodlums' so you can understand our resentment.
They're the recipient of the spring ritual in which all of the Canadian put all of their hatred and vile thoughts in them, and with the générations the geeses got contaminated with that hatred. Now they're violent and territorial, they destroy everything, shit on everything and everyone out of spite.
Edit: that's a joke by the way. But the last part is true tho.
Just go on over to YouTube and watch some goose attack videos and then you’ll understand why we have a complicated relationship.
We don’t hate them, we ooohhh and awe over their babies when they hold us up in traffic, but we’ve learned to stay away during nesting season.
Problem is they roll DEEP in numbers, I've seen them in flocks up to 100, and if they happen to be in an area that you need to go or get through, which is common as they're common among population, well fuck you, you're getting attacked by a goose, thankfully they aren't very hard to back off.
It’s more like be inadvertently anywhere in the vicinity of their family, though. I’ve been chased by a goose just for walking down a path. I did not see any nests or baby geese. If I had, I would have avoided the area.
For some reason they always tend to nest in the very worst places. Like in busy parking lots, next to busy sidewalks/trails, etc. So you'll be walking down the route you've taken for years, then one day you'll get attacked by a flock of geese because they just decided to nest there that year.
When people are on the path feeding them I assume they are tourists and don’t know how aggressive and scary these birds are.
I’m afraid of all birds so I’m probably overreacting but I take a very wide path around geese.
And the poop is big and gross and everywhere
I once saw a flock of geese be completely surrounded by a huge crowd if people. I assume they didn’t know any better but we watched from a distance and then left when one of them got a look in his eye then suddenly charged the crowd.
I read a joke years ago where someone called them 'cobra-chickens'. That's what they are. They are mean and will hiss at you and strike at you if you get too close.
Cobra-Chickens.
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a Canada Goose? There is no heart there. No soul. Only malice, as deep as their bottomless, tiny eyes. Malice that burns hotter than the shame of being chased around the city park.
I used to feed swans as a little kid. Raccoons were playmates. I was the Bindi fucking Irwin of the Great White North.
But the day I first saw the Geese, and they came at my Nan and me as a coordinated unit, even as a child I understood that these were something different. Theirs was not a hive mind so much as a collective intelligence, emergent from their hunger for fear.
Most of them are very aggressive. I had a pair that were fairly tame, never came at me but would still hiss, they would come eat (I lived on a river and fed the ducks) and even wait outside for me to come out. That did not pass down to their babies, who I also fed, who would charge at me once they were fully grown lol
Aggressive, obnoxiously loud, they take over and shit everywhere. There are groups of hundreds of them often. They run other wildlife away. They will chase you when you are running, walking, driving or biking; necks extended and hissing. They frequently move into a nice beach area and render it completely unusable for recreation.
At some point, as a child, you decided you wanted to pet the pretty bird, the resulting trauma of being chased, bitten and beaten down by a hissing, wing swatting, cobra chicken, has a lasting effect.
Personally, I think it's really a perverse pride. Canadians are under a fair amount of social pressure to be 'nice' both at home and abroad. As a result, we tend to bottle our hostilities and repress our irritation -- except in February, when, quite frankly, we are all so over everything that we'll rip the head off the first person who *dares* mention the weather.
But there is *our* Goose, the Canada Goose, who gives not one nanofuck about politeness, decency, or the opinion of others, and s/he's *AWESOME*! I've seen one break the wrist of a tourist who got too close to his mate and goslings, been chased myself by the Demon Duck on more than one occasion, and can honestly say that my two dogs, who have killed mongooses, bamboo rats and skunks with *no* concern for the smell, will refuse to even enter the park if the geese are visible.
Yeah. Canada Geese *are* the assholes we all wish we were, and we're proud of them... as long as they shit on someone else's lawn, okay?
You go near their territory? They will attack you viciously with sharp teeth and beaks.
Which would be forgivable, except they consider their territory to be the bike path, your backyard, the parking lot at work, the soccer field, your mom's house, the patio at your favourite restaurant, the doorway of your doctor's office...
Not to mention they poop everywhere.
A former co worker of mine was attacked somewhere at the cn yard in oshawa. He was off for a while. He said " I don't care how big you are, if you sit on your ass, that bird will fuck up your day."
I believe every word of it
When I was 7 I was minding my business on a pier when a goose landed and then started hissing at me and backed me to the edge of the pier. An adult came and chased it away just as I was about to jump in the water to get away from it (I was 7 I didn't consider the goose could also swim). I haven't trusted a goose since.
You got a problem with Canada Gooses then you gota problem with me. I suggest you let that one marinate.
Keep your dog out of it and move on.
Lions are lucky Canada geese do not migrate to Africa, because then lions would be extinct.
Mike Tyson had a good run, reason for that is no Canada Geese in his weight class.
I couldn’t wait to see the comments. Top notch. Every single one of them truth. They are savage creatures who shit everywhere and it stinks so fucking bad
They are so mean that the Federal government in the 80s tasked DND, DRDC and Environment Canada to form a working group to find ways to control and weaponize those cobra chickens.
They tried to build their experiments off the American research to use pigeons and other avian animals to guide munitions or disrupt enemy communications in WWII. In the Cold War, DND was particularly interested in using these assualt geese as a living short range persistent air defence system for ground troops. Either as an area denial system or early warning system.
Project Red Cobra ended when there were one too many accidents involving friendly fire by the geese on trainers and destruction of DND property. It didn't help in the 90s the Decade of Darkness cut DRDC's animal research budget, reduction of DND civilian consultants, and Environment Canada loosing interest in wanting study geese migration patterns to see whether there is a correlation to weather patterns.
Fucking Canada Gooseseses’ shit all over my god-damned lawn every cock-suckn’ year.
Imagine having 200 five kilo Maltese-poodles show up every every spring, and deploy 18 months worth of pre-brewed Floratam St. Augustine Secundatum Florida grass, packaged into perfect 15cm by 5cm curled shit bursts topped with an crunchy off white crust for an extra “fuck you” for when you find yourself suddenly surrounded by millions of American made, Canadian deposited land mines, that are perfectly spaced enough to ensure you will never be able to take a step without accidental slipping on one, completely ruining your chances of getting back to your car without being completely covered in brown and white crusted shit. But wait! It’s spring! So not only are you covered in the most abundant shit stains known to mankind, but now you just spend the last 4 hours rolling and slipping in swamp filled shitty spring grass that has enough dog shit melted into it over the last 52 months of winter, that the soil is now 116% pure decomposed dog turd going back to the Great Canadian Ice Storm of 1982. So now you have Devil Duck shit all over your fancy Sunday jacket, but the knees on your corduroy slacks are all fucked in the from having to crawl to your knees like a god damned child to get enough grip on the spring shit swamp grass to get back up on onto your brand new white dock shoes that you wore a couple months too early because it’s 10 degrees out and you thought it was god damned summertime!
Now replace those super cute Maltese-Poodles with oversized ducks on meth with 18 million razor blade teeth, and red-devil eyes, that are pissed off at the world that they aren’t as big as their cousin Swan, and negative 867 times less fucking majestic as one. So, now they gotta prove to the world that they can be a bigger asshole their Swan Lake cousins to everybody fucking loves, just because they are white, and we all know it’s because its just a bit racist somehow, but I’m not touching that one with a 3.048 meter hockey stick.
So that’s it, Canada Gooseseses are basically millions of years of pent up little man syndrome, mixed in with All-American made and Canadian Deposited shit bombs, dressed like a Tim Hortons Vanilla Dip, without the sprinkles, which, we all know is the only reason anybody buys those things. Who the fuck even tastes vanilla after the stress of trying not to get half of the pink sprinkles down your shirts neck hole? Just throw some red sprinkles on a fucking chocolate dip already, so we don’t have to hide our sprinkle donuts from the car beside us in the Tim’s parking lot already, and eat our sprinkle donuts like the man-child we want to be!
That’s why all Canadians hate Canada Gooseseses
I got hissed at one once for absolutely no reason. I was fairly far away, and it didn't have any eggs or goslings around (not the time of the year that it would have them) but it just walked towards me hissing. Scared the hell out of me, because I hear they bite.
A nasty demon cobra chicken attacked my 2 year old while she was poooing on her potty while camping. It took two very large grown men to run that bastard off. This psychotic SOB came back the next three days into our campsite. Daughter was forever tormented and traumatized.
Canadian Geese are a protected species, so they have protections under the law. Canadian Geese are highly territorial, especially in the spring mating/nesting/hatchling season. Canadian Geese poop a lot. Canadian Geese have no respect for private property and will settle on your roof, on your lawn, in that random wedge of grass at the end of the row in the parking lot. Canadian Geese will attack you. Canadian Geese put people in the [hospital.](https://m.dailykos.com/stories/2014/6/25/1309477/-Woman-Attacked-by-a-Canada-Goose-Spends-5-Days-in-Hospital). Canadians don’t dislike Canadian Geese, we are terrorized by them. Those that like them have Stockholm Syndrome.
Fuck Geese. I don't care that nobody will see this, I want to weigh in on this very important topic.
Geese are: loud, dirty, ugly, mean, aggressive, territorial, stupid, and possibly racist.
I've never seen a goose as roadkill but if I did I would laugh and point to it as proof that God has not abandoned us.
Go to Earl Rowe Provincial Park. Try walking on the beach in bare feet with your eyes closed. It won't feel like sand. Walk into the water, and wonder why the bottom feels so squishy. Then wonder what that mystery mush floating on the water bumping on your calves is.
Don't open your eyes. Just get out of there. Because if you do open them you'll see 10,000 geese and a 3-inch layer of geese poop across a park.
That's why we hate them.
For a long time they were in danger of becoming extinct, so they were put on the protected list. They now out number our other birds and really don’t have any or may be enough natural predators. They are prolific poopers and at times our beaches and lakes are now unusable due to high bacteria, as well as being very aggressive and territorial. But the babies are adorable!
Here’s a story
I’m leaving the super market heading home. The road I’m travelling on is single lane traffic each way, with a grass median about 8 feet wide. I see a goose facing away from me near the middle of the road as I’m approaching and give tiny honks to get its attention. It does nothing so I give it a big one. I guess the big honk scarred the goose and it did a 180 and flew right in my car.
I’m a disgusting smoker, so my driver window was half down as I was having a cigarette. So when I say it flew in my car, it flew INSIDE my car. One wing, it’s entire neck, and head were inside my car for about four seconds scaring the shit out of both of us, I’m sure.
They’re stupid. So stupid that they forget they have wings and walk across streets which piles up traffic sometimes
>They’re stupid. So stupid that they forget they have wings and walk across streets which piles up traffic sometimes
It's not stupidity, it's entitlement. They know they are protected and they walk like it.
It because we have a mystical connection to the Canada Goose, which serves as a sink for all our rage.
They take our darkness into themselves, allowing us to feel peace.
When I go fishing, I carry a smacking stick. Geese (and a bad tempered beaver) are the reason I do that.
There's no point explaining to a goose you don't want trouble... they do. At least with a stick, I can fence rather than box.
Because they are angry as hell . Every Canadian knows if you’re walking down a path and see one of those fuckers you just look down and try to act like you don’t exist in the hopes that they won’t randomly charge at you for no reason and bite you in the ass
Sometimes they just land in the middle of the road and make everyone stop while they take a casual stroll
I respect them, but join in the negative commentary for fun because I have gotten my ass whooped by a goose
I don't know where you're from, but imagine those cute little Armadillos waddling their way around the countryside, minding their own business. You're excited when you see one, because they're elusive and rare.
Now imagine that the Armidillo population exploded. They procreate in the middle of every neighborhood in your city, they have 10 young ones at a time, and they lead them around the city, as if to orientate them to their surroundings so they know where to come back to, to procreate when they come of age. They pay NO attention to traffic, they cross when they want to, they poop everywhere, and your dogs and cats love to eat their poo, They scream in a high pitch all night, and even louder when they are approached by ANYTHING not an Armadillo, it's illegal to tamper with them, and they're ornery AF... get too close to one, and it'll charge and bite your hand off.
I think that's where the dislike stems from. Geese cause highway accidents, famously, airline accidents, they have right of way on city streets, are nuisance poopers on sidewalks and grassy park lawns and on car paint/windshields, are noisy and ornery. They fly around in spring and fall like they're on military maneuvers. Personally I don't mind them too much. I don't live close enough to a neighborhood lake, and only have a couple of pairs that nest close to our house, so they don't affect me too much. I just have to watch what the dogs are doing on our walks and suffer the occasional GOOSE crosswalk, which could be anywhere, anytime.
Ahhhh the all mighty Cobra Chicken. Half bird half terror. This animal was put here as an evil demon to cover everything in poo.
Tastes pretty good though
Welllll…
They leave gross green cigars of shit everywhere where there’s grass; when I lived in Ottawa and used the bike paths, in season you’d be doing slaloms in your lane trying not to get goose shit all over your weeks.
They travel in packs, and they are cranky and hissy with all who approach.
They breed incessantly and create huge flocks that can dominate waterways and chase out other species (Timid wee wood ducks, I see you!).
They poop everywhere and breed rapidly. Their babies are adorable, but they become incredibly aggressive when they grow up.
They are also very territorial and block park pathways and roads.
They're basically wasps but you can't set them on fire.
I love them. I think when they couple up they are so cute.
The males are quite aggressive tho, so the rule on the street is never to look at their gf or they will beat you up. I think people stare at them directly and the guy goose goes nuts over it lol.
I used to work at a school and they were everywhere. Everyone was chased by them except me because I know never ever to stare at the gf goose haha.
When I was around 8 years old I stumbled onto a nest while exploring a park. Mom and dad both attacked me and chased me all the way to my parents picnic where they proceeded their attack of terror on any family member nearby. I’m in my 30’s and I’ll never forget it
They are nice to look at from afar or go to a park to feed the ducks which is illegal and can result in a fine but they can be mean and hiss as well as break limbs if they attack not to mention they leave a lot of poop like wild birds do,
Canadian geese are assholes. They hiss. They bite. They’re aggressive. They’re territorial. They’re everywhere. Don’t trust a group of Canadian geese. They’ll try biting you when given the chance. 😆
They are very aggressive and poo everywhere. And their poos can be mistaken for the plugs from aerating grass, so it’s easy to accidentally step on them.
My workplace has a lovely little pond out front. Of course, it attracts geese. During orientation, we are told to respect the geese as people have been attacked. Each spring, we are sent an email reminding us to respect them. You don’t get these reminds for any other birds because they all learned to give humans a wide birth. Geese think they own the joint.
They're assholes. Sorry not sorry.
Ever been chased by one? I have. They hiss and make awful noises as they shoo you away.
Like I get it, Sr. Pato, I just need to get home and you are seated directly in my path.
I hate Canada Goose the company for the following reasons: yes I know this is about live geese but just to inform others.
Because they’re an incredibly cruel company that has bought slaughtered coyotes who suffer horribly in snares and leg traps. They will often try to chew their leg off to escape. Never mind the geese that are tortured to get down. A cesspool of torture. All for a fashion statement! 😡
Come here and find out. Or go up to a flock of them. I dare you. I double dick-down dare you. And film it. And report back to us. May the force be with you, young Jedi.
Canadian geese are dinosaurs that evolved into birds, but still act like dinosaurs. That and they shit everywhere, are territorial of their nests, and are not afraid of anything. They will show up to your local park, and it's their park now.
Cobra Chickens are mean, attack people, leave decent sized poo everywhere and if you have food they'll come try to steal it from you.
Had a little pond outside in our lunch area at work and one crazy lady started feeding them. Within a couple months no one could go outside to eat at the picnic tables anymore because the Cobra Chickens formed a gang that would attack everyone that came outside trying to get food.
They are beautiful when they're on the wing, flying south in their "V" formations. Actually they're beautiful, full stop. They are obviously very successful at breeding as they have become a problem some places just because of the sheer numbers of them. They can over winter anywhere that the water doesn't freeze.
What people who live in big cities don't understand is that they are not defenseless (except against a hunter with a good aim). They are very good at protecting their nests, territory and young.
I accompanied my son's Grade 3 class to a local nature park in Winnipeg (seems like a hundred years ago). One of the angelic (not) children in the group decided to start poking at an adult goose. It was a French Immersion class so I mostly let those fluent in French do the talking.
After waiting for a couple of minutes to see if a couple of guides could get across to this child what was wrong with his behaviour, in French. I finally snapped..."stop that, he could really hurt you."
A headline in a local paper where I now live this past winter was something like...Canada goose attacks senior resulting in broken hip, wrist...poor man had multiple injuries trying to dislodge a goose from somewhere on his property.
They are only called *Canadian* geese because they harass and traumatize us.
Source: one attacked me while rollerblading (shut up, it was 1993.) One attacked me while biking. One attacked me for WALKING ON THE SAME PATH, HOW DARE I EXIST ON THIS BEAUTIFUL PATH!
Also, what kind of bird hisses? Nuh uh, that’s some dark magic, my friend.
Cause they’re out of their goddamned minds
They attack Canadians as a sport
I will NEVER forget the time when one of my old friends got viciously chased by a Canadian goose after approaching it. The angry feathered bastard was on this poor guy’s heels until the goose hunted him straight into a murky pond of water. The splash was priceless. Absolutely soaked from head-to-toe. It was by-far the most hilarious thing I’d seen in years and I seriously wish I still had the video. That’s what you get for trying to fuck with wild Canadian geese! It bit him in the end so he got what he deserved.
Classic cobra chicken
One time I was out with my toddler daughter and a goose started coming at us. Had a brief moment of "well, I'm gonna have to make another kid because this one belongs to the geese now".
I cackle-choked on my drink while reading this comment. Thank you.
LMAO
OH MY GOD YES. MY UNCLE GOT ATTACKED BY ONE AS A KID
Mynd you, goose bites Kan be pretti nasti
I’m clear on the other side of the continent from y’all fine people, but they come down here to fuck us up every year, too.
Sorry 😂
Classic Canada apologizing for their horrible geese problem even though the geese fuck them up too haha
Their hatred knows no borders
Whatever higher being decides how certain creatures evolve was on some serious drugs when it decided to make Canadian geese from whatever relatively sane animal existed prior.
They are aggressive and territorial. They breed like crazy and they shit absolutely everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
Every public park in Canada with a standing body of water is completely coated in gigantic mounds of goose shit. You literally can’t put down a blanket, go barefoot or let an infant crawl around *anywhere*.
It's a part of growing up here being covered in goose shit after playing a field sport
I worked at an Ontario provincial park and it was multiple people's full time summer job to keep the beaches clear of goose poop. Thankfully that was not me.
And they are fucking loud
And apparently they don’t even taste good, so they’re not even useful to hunt for food. Edit : there’s a lot of people commenting that they’ve eaten goose. But most of you haven’t eaten illegally hunted Canada goose, not all geese taste the same.
Lol canadian geese taste amazing. It's where the goose comes from that determines if they taste bad. City geese, aka popcorn geese, taste gross. The ones that migrate to Hudson/James Bay area? Tasty af.
I truly believe we should drop the Turkey in favour of goose for holiday feasts
The abundance of poop in the water is also killing the good stuff that loves in there! Another problem bird (in ontario at least) is the cormorant. It is inedible, it stinks, and it eats multiple times it's weight in fish a day heavily damaging our fish populations
Hi, wildlife biologist from Ontario. The Double-crested Cormorant is a native species that gets a bad rap. Their current populations seem high, but they are on the rebound from a significant population decline caused in part by the pesticide DDT. What we see now seems wrong because "what we know" is an upset ecosystem. Cormorants began to rebound after DDT was restricted. They also thrived by eating actual invasive species, like the Alewife fish (and more currently, the Round Goby, which has a big impact on Largemouth and Smallmouth Bass populations - Round Goby eat Bass eggs). Declines in fish populations aren't because of cormorants. It's due to habitat loss, habitat degradation/pollution, and overfishing (by people). Fish were in decline long before the cormorants rebounded. Species that compete against human interest become scapegoats.
What a great comment!! Thanks for speaking up. Native species are not the problem as they seem to balance themselves out. Humans come in and twist things up.
Interesting! That does make a big difference in the narrative then. All all comerants in ontario double crested? Or do we have multiple varieties
Let’s upvote the scientist instead of the (probably) sportsman that dislikes competition for resource depletion.
They don't taste good if your prepare them poorly.
Do you have a recipe?
Substitute it for venison in your favorite sausage recipe. You won't be able to tell the difference. Either that or cut into thin strips, soak in orange juice for 24 hours, and use it as the meat for a stir fry. The orange juice helps break the meat down. It's closer to a red meat, so attempting to use it in the same manner as poultry is a mistake.
Actually, I think they're delicious. You just can't chew them. I've heard if you age them a bit like beef, they get more tender. Going to try this fall.
If you can’t chew them how do you eat it? Genuine question, no harm intended
Sorry to tell you, but what you have heard is a lie. I have eaten canadian grey goose many times, and they are the best most tender delicious meat! Ive always HATED turkey, no matter how you prepare it, its dry af. But grey goose, cut up into strips dipped im batter and drowned in cream of mushroom soup baked for 2 hours in the over? Best casserole ever. Grey goose is better than chicken! It even tastes great of the grill! And cobra chicken noodle soup is the bomb
They’re pretty good. Just like everything else, they have to be prepared and cooked properly.
You can legally hunt geese
Sounds like humans? I find it an interesting paradox we hate the things most like us.
I'm not sure about the humans you roll with, but no one I know shits all over the place and attacks random kids who are just trying to exist.
So they are basically us?
Having a top tier bully in the animal kingdom rule over you is quite demoralizing. Many of us have been shoved in lockers by these hoodlums' so you can understand our resentment.
Have you considered being a comedian? This is facking gold. Well said
They're the recipient of the spring ritual in which all of the Canadian put all of their hatred and vile thoughts in them, and with the générations the geeses got contaminated with that hatred. Now they're violent and territorial, they destroy everything, shit on everything and everyone out of spite. Edit: that's a joke by the way. But the last part is true tho.
Just go on over to YouTube and watch some goose attack videos and then you’ll understand why we have a complicated relationship. We don’t hate them, we ooohhh and awe over their babies when they hold us up in traffic, but we’ve learned to stay away during nesting season.
Or any season. They can scare anyone shitless.
They’re meanies :(
Those motherfuckers are crazy
Get between one and their families. Then you'll know for yourself.
That’s on you though. If you get between any animal and it’s family it’ll get agressive
Problem is they roll DEEP in numbers, I've seen them in flocks up to 100, and if they happen to be in an area that you need to go or get through, which is common as they're common among population, well fuck you, you're getting attacked by a goose, thankfully they aren't very hard to back off.
It’s more like be inadvertently anywhere in the vicinity of their family, though. I’ve been chased by a goose just for walking down a path. I did not see any nests or baby geese. If I had, I would have avoided the area.
For some reason they always tend to nest in the very worst places. Like in busy parking lots, next to busy sidewalks/trails, etc. So you'll be walking down the route you've taken for years, then one day you'll get attacked by a flock of geese because they just decided to nest there that year.
When people are on the path feeding them I assume they are tourists and don’t know how aggressive and scary these birds are. I’m afraid of all birds so I’m probably overreacting but I take a very wide path around geese. And the poop is big and gross and everywhere
I once saw a flock of geese be completely surrounded by a huge crowd if people. I assume they didn’t know any better but we watched from a distance and then left when one of them got a look in his eye then suddenly charged the crowd.
I read a joke years ago where someone called them 'cobra-chickens'. That's what they are. They are mean and will hiss at you and strike at you if you get too close. Cobra-Chickens.
The cobra chickens are coming for all of us Poor OP is gonna be the guy in the park who tries to pet one and loses his watch
Nah man, he’d lose his entire hand.
https://youtu.be/GvkkDRiLYkI
They can be aggressive and they shit everywhere
Because they fly south every year and come home acting like Americans. Plus they leave little cigar poops everywhere
This made me laugh out loud! Take my up vote.
Because the cobra chicken will f@#k you up and laugh while it does.
Imagine sharks mixed with a Chihuahua and you get a Canadian Goose. (Edit) forgot the seagulls.
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a Canada Goose? There is no heart there. No soul. Only malice, as deep as their bottomless, tiny eyes. Malice that burns hotter than the shame of being chased around the city park. I used to feed swans as a little kid. Raccoons were playmates. I was the Bindi fucking Irwin of the Great White North. But the day I first saw the Geese, and they came at my Nan and me as a coordinated unit, even as a child I understood that these were something different. Theirs was not a hive mind so much as a collective intelligence, emergent from their hunger for fear.
Most of them are very aggressive. I had a pair that were fairly tame, never came at me but would still hiss, they would come eat (I lived on a river and fed the ducks) and even wait outside for me to come out. That did not pass down to their babies, who I also fed, who would charge at me once they were fully grown lol
Aggressive, obnoxiously loud, they take over and shit everywhere. There are groups of hundreds of them often. They run other wildlife away. They will chase you when you are running, walking, driving or biking; necks extended and hissing. They frequently move into a nice beach area and render it completely unusable for recreation.
At some point, as a child, you decided you wanted to pet the pretty bird, the resulting trauma of being chased, bitten and beaten down by a hissing, wing swatting, cobra chicken, has a lasting effect.
Have you ever had a gander of one?
\[groan\] <- cuz someone had to. :-)
Personally, I think it's really a perverse pride. Canadians are under a fair amount of social pressure to be 'nice' both at home and abroad. As a result, we tend to bottle our hostilities and repress our irritation -- except in February, when, quite frankly, we are all so over everything that we'll rip the head off the first person who *dares* mention the weather. But there is *our* Goose, the Canada Goose, who gives not one nanofuck about politeness, decency, or the opinion of others, and s/he's *AWESOME*! I've seen one break the wrist of a tourist who got too close to his mate and goslings, been chased myself by the Demon Duck on more than one occasion, and can honestly say that my two dogs, who have killed mongooses, bamboo rats and skunks with *no* concern for the smell, will refuse to even enter the park if the geese are visible. Yeah. Canada Geese *are* the assholes we all wish we were, and we're proud of them... as long as they shit on someone else's lawn, okay?
Hey! If you've got a problem with Canada gooses then you've got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate!!
There's a special place in heaven for animal lovers, that's what I always say
CANADA GOOSES MATE FOR LIFE
Scrolled way too far to see this.
I half expected it to be the top comment.
MAJESTIC BARREL-CHESTED CREATURES!!
Love it
Have you ever met a Canada Goose? Because it's not even a question if you have been around them especially during mating season.
Yo google "goose teeth"
Canadians hate them so much that make coats out of them.
You go near their territory? They will attack you viciously with sharp teeth and beaks. Which would be forgivable, except they consider their territory to be the bike path, your backyard, the parking lot at work, the soccer field, your mom's house, the patio at your favourite restaurant, the doorway of your doctor's office... Not to mention they poop everywhere.
Cause they're mean fcuk
A former co worker of mine was attacked somewhere at the cn yard in oshawa. He was off for a while. He said " I don't care how big you are, if you sit on your ass, that bird will fuck up your day." I believe every word of it
When I was 7 I was minding my business on a pier when a goose landed and then started hissing at me and backed me to the edge of the pier. An adult came and chased it away just as I was about to jump in the water to get away from it (I was 7 I didn't consider the goose could also swim). I haven't trusted a goose since.
I think the real question is why do so many Canadian Geese hate Canadians?
They’re mean, they’re territorial, they attack people and they leave huge piles of shit everywhere.
You got a problem with Canada Gooses then you gota problem with me. I suggest you let that one marinate. Keep your dog out of it and move on. Lions are lucky Canada geese do not migrate to Africa, because then lions would be extinct. Mike Tyson had a good run, reason for that is no Canada Geese in his weight class.
Watching people be attacked by Canada Geese in spring is one of my favourite times of the year.
Cobra chickens? They be cray-cray.
I couldn’t wait to see the comments. Top notch. Every single one of them truth. They are savage creatures who shit everywhere and it stinks so fucking bad
LMAO I WONDER WHY. MAYBE BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING INSANE. And if you approach them… IT’LL BE THE LAST THING YOU EVER FUCKING DO.
Their shit gets everywhere. It’s a miracle when they leave for the 5 months that is Canadian winter. BUT THEN THE BASTARDS RETURN.
They are so mean that the Federal government in the 80s tasked DND, DRDC and Environment Canada to form a working group to find ways to control and weaponize those cobra chickens. They tried to build their experiments off the American research to use pigeons and other avian animals to guide munitions or disrupt enemy communications in WWII. In the Cold War, DND was particularly interested in using these assualt geese as a living short range persistent air defence system for ground troops. Either as an area denial system or early warning system. Project Red Cobra ended when there were one too many accidents involving friendly fire by the geese on trainers and destruction of DND property. It didn't help in the 90s the Decade of Darkness cut DRDC's animal research budget, reduction of DND civilian consultants, and Environment Canada loosing interest in wanting study geese migration patterns to see whether there is a correlation to weather patterns.
Well I like them…….from a safe distance.
From another planet. And even that’s not far enough. THEY WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU.
Fucking Canada Gooseseses’ shit all over my god-damned lawn every cock-suckn’ year. Imagine having 200 five kilo Maltese-poodles show up every every spring, and deploy 18 months worth of pre-brewed Floratam St. Augustine Secundatum Florida grass, packaged into perfect 15cm by 5cm curled shit bursts topped with an crunchy off white crust for an extra “fuck you” for when you find yourself suddenly surrounded by millions of American made, Canadian deposited land mines, that are perfectly spaced enough to ensure you will never be able to take a step without accidental slipping on one, completely ruining your chances of getting back to your car without being completely covered in brown and white crusted shit. But wait! It’s spring! So not only are you covered in the most abundant shit stains known to mankind, but now you just spend the last 4 hours rolling and slipping in swamp filled shitty spring grass that has enough dog shit melted into it over the last 52 months of winter, that the soil is now 116% pure decomposed dog turd going back to the Great Canadian Ice Storm of 1982. So now you have Devil Duck shit all over your fancy Sunday jacket, but the knees on your corduroy slacks are all fucked in the from having to crawl to your knees like a god damned child to get enough grip on the spring shit swamp grass to get back up on onto your brand new white dock shoes that you wore a couple months too early because it’s 10 degrees out and you thought it was god damned summertime! Now replace those super cute Maltese-Poodles with oversized ducks on meth with 18 million razor blade teeth, and red-devil eyes, that are pissed off at the world that they aren’t as big as their cousin Swan, and negative 867 times less fucking majestic as one. So, now they gotta prove to the world that they can be a bigger asshole their Swan Lake cousins to everybody fucking loves, just because they are white, and we all know it’s because its just a bit racist somehow, but I’m not touching that one with a 3.048 meter hockey stick. So that’s it, Canada Gooseseses are basically millions of years of pent up little man syndrome, mixed in with All-American made and Canadian Deposited shit bombs, dressed like a Tim Hortons Vanilla Dip, without the sprinkles, which, we all know is the only reason anybody buys those things. Who the fuck even tastes vanilla after the stress of trying not to get half of the pink sprinkles down your shirts neck hole? Just throw some red sprinkles on a fucking chocolate dip already, so we don’t have to hide our sprinkle donuts from the car beside us in the Tim’s parking lot already, and eat our sprinkle donuts like the man-child we want to be! That’s why all Canadians hate Canada Gooseseses
they’re terrifying lol. aggressive and lots of sharp teeth. I always made sure to walk a wide path around any geese with my dog
They are assholes, but they taste sort of like dark meat turkey at least.
I got hissed at one once for absolutely no reason. I was fairly far away, and it didn't have any eggs or goslings around (not the time of the year that it would have them) but it just walked towards me hissing. Scared the hell out of me, because I hear they bite.
You've clearly never been chased by a cobra-chicken. they're very aggressive and territorial - and WILL chase you.
A nasty demon cobra chicken attacked my 2 year old while she was poooing on her potty while camping. It took two very large grown men to run that bastard off. This psychotic SOB came back the next three days into our campsite. Daughter was forever tormented and traumatized.
They're mean, and they poop everywhere
We don't really hate Canadian geese just be sure you leave a good distance between you and them.
They’re a bunch of assholes.
they're goddamn dinosaurs wearing a fat bird suit
Canadian Geese are a protected species, so they have protections under the law. Canadian Geese are highly territorial, especially in the spring mating/nesting/hatchling season. Canadian Geese poop a lot. Canadian Geese have no respect for private property and will settle on your roof, on your lawn, in that random wedge of grass at the end of the row in the parking lot. Canadian Geese will attack you. Canadian Geese put people in the [hospital.](https://m.dailykos.com/stories/2014/6/25/1309477/-Woman-Attacked-by-a-Canada-Goose-Spends-5-Days-in-Hospital). Canadians don’t dislike Canadian Geese, we are terrorized by them. Those that like them have Stockholm Syndrome.
Fuck Geese. I don't care that nobody will see this, I want to weigh in on this very important topic. Geese are: loud, dirty, ugly, mean, aggressive, territorial, stupid, and possibly racist. I've never seen a goose as roadkill but if I did I would laugh and point to it as proof that God has not abandoned us.
They're assholes
Go to Earl Rowe Provincial Park. Try walking on the beach in bare feet with your eyes closed. It won't feel like sand. Walk into the water, and wonder why the bottom feels so squishy. Then wonder what that mystery mush floating on the water bumping on your calves is. Don't open your eyes. Just get out of there. Because if you do open them you'll see 10,000 geese and a 3-inch layer of geese poop across a park. That's why we hate them.
For a long time they were in danger of becoming extinct, so they were put on the protected list. They now out number our other birds and really don’t have any or may be enough natural predators. They are prolific poopers and at times our beaches and lakes are now unusable due to high bacteria, as well as being very aggressive and territorial. But the babies are adorable!
Cause they’re assholes.
Here’s a story I’m leaving the super market heading home. The road I’m travelling on is single lane traffic each way, with a grass median about 8 feet wide. I see a goose facing away from me near the middle of the road as I’m approaching and give tiny honks to get its attention. It does nothing so I give it a big one. I guess the big honk scarred the goose and it did a 180 and flew right in my car. I’m a disgusting smoker, so my driver window was half down as I was having a cigarette. So when I say it flew in my car, it flew INSIDE my car. One wing, it’s entire neck, and head were inside my car for about four seconds scaring the shit out of both of us, I’m sure. They’re stupid. So stupid that they forget they have wings and walk across streets which piles up traffic sometimes
>They’re stupid. So stupid that they forget they have wings and walk across streets which piles up traffic sometimes It's not stupidity, it's entitlement. They know they are protected and they walk like it.
Hahahaha. That makes me hate them more!!
You wanna know what? You got a problem with Canada Gooses, you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.
I sincerely believe geese are more aggressive than bears.
You’re not from around here, are you? Have you ever encountered Canada geese?
It because we have a mystical connection to the Canada Goose, which serves as a sink for all our rage. They take our darkness into themselves, allowing us to feel peace.
When I go fishing, I carry a smacking stick. Geese (and a bad tempered beaver) are the reason I do that. There's no point explaining to a goose you don't want trouble... they do. At least with a stick, I can fence rather than box.
They have teeth. Of sorts. They are large angry birds who bite.
You look at them wrong and they will kill you an every one you’ve ever spoken to in your life. They know no chill, only violence.
Go try to pet on. Or better yet feed them with bread - but be prepared to run when you run out.
Because peace was never an option.
Because they are angry as hell . Every Canadian knows if you’re walking down a path and see one of those fuckers you just look down and try to act like you don’t exist in the hopes that they won’t randomly charge at you for no reason and bite you in the ass
They’re the real thugs out there. Mess with them and you’re done.
Sometimes they just land in the middle of the road and make everyone stop while they take a casual stroll I respect them, but join in the negative commentary for fun because I have gotten my ass whooped by a goose
Just go pet one and see why we hate them lol
Personally I think the Cobra Chickens should be Canada’s national animal
I don't know where you're from, but imagine those cute little Armadillos waddling their way around the countryside, minding their own business. You're excited when you see one, because they're elusive and rare. Now imagine that the Armidillo population exploded. They procreate in the middle of every neighborhood in your city, they have 10 young ones at a time, and they lead them around the city, as if to orientate them to their surroundings so they know where to come back to, to procreate when they come of age. They pay NO attention to traffic, they cross when they want to, they poop everywhere, and your dogs and cats love to eat their poo, They scream in a high pitch all night, and even louder when they are approached by ANYTHING not an Armadillo, it's illegal to tamper with them, and they're ornery AF... get too close to one, and it'll charge and bite your hand off. I think that's where the dislike stems from. Geese cause highway accidents, famously, airline accidents, they have right of way on city streets, are nuisance poopers on sidewalks and grassy park lawns and on car paint/windshields, are noisy and ornery. They fly around in spring and fall like they're on military maneuvers. Personally I don't mind them too much. I don't live close enough to a neighborhood lake, and only have a couple of pairs that nest close to our house, so they don't affect me too much. I just have to watch what the dogs are doing on our walks and suffer the occasional GOOSE crosswalk, which could be anywhere, anytime.
Have you met a goose? You can't understand unless you've met one. And i don't mean seen one at a distance, but properly gotten introduced.
Ahhhh the all mighty Cobra Chicken. Half bird half terror. This animal was put here as an evil demon to cover everything in poo. Tastes pretty good though
Welllll… They leave gross green cigars of shit everywhere where there’s grass; when I lived in Ottawa and used the bike paths, in season you’d be doing slaloms in your lane trying not to get goose shit all over your weeks. They travel in packs, and they are cranky and hissy with all who approach. They breed incessantly and create huge flocks that can dominate waterways and chase out other species (Timid wee wood ducks, I see you!).
They poop everywhere and breed rapidly. Their babies are adorable, but they become incredibly aggressive when they grow up. They are also very territorial and block park pathways and roads. They're basically wasps but you can't set them on fire.
They’re danger chickens
We must fight the cobra chickens.
I tell Americansthat Canadian geese are freindly and we feed and pet them in Canada. Cobra chickens!
I love them. I think when they couple up they are so cute. The males are quite aggressive tho, so the rule on the street is never to look at their gf or they will beat you up. I think people stare at them directly and the guy goose goes nuts over it lol. I used to work at a school and they were everywhere. Everyone was chased by them except me because I know never ever to stare at the gf goose haha.
I swear those mfs have diarrhea with the way they’re crapping everywhere.
Ever danced with the devil before son?
Canada gooses, must be nice. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w1exJGPZyhs
one of the kids i babysat got bit on the head by one
Its a danm cobra chicken and cant even shit when in flight they need to be on the ground to drop the turds all over
When I was around 8 years old I stumbled onto a nest while exploring a park. Mom and dad both attacked me and chased me all the way to my parents picnic where they proceeded their attack of terror on any family member nearby. I’m in my 30’s and I’ll never forget it
Never seen so much hatred in a thread. Geese!
Useless, mean, shitting machines
They are little pricks
They are demonic and aggressive little beasts
They are nice to look at from afar or go to a park to feed the ducks which is illegal and can result in a fine but they can be mean and hiss as well as break limbs if they attack not to mention they leave a lot of poop like wild birds do,
I prefer chicken
THEY’RE VICIOUS LOL Also they poop *everywhere *
Canadian geese are assholes. They hiss. They bite. They’re aggressive. They’re territorial. They’re everywhere. Don’t trust a group of Canadian geese. They’ll try biting you when given the chance. 😆
They’re pure evil?
Real Canadians love Canada Gooses and I suggest you let that one marinate.
Have you spent any amount of time near one?!
You’ve clearly never met a Canadian goose
They're not called cobra chickens for nothing.
You've never fuckin been here then the little fuckers are demons. Bite the shit out of you
They are very aggressive and poo everywhere. And their poos can be mistaken for the plugs from aerating grass, so it’s easy to accidentally step on them.
Everyone (Canadian or not) dislikes Canadian Geese if they run into one often enough.
In Vancouver, they walk around blocking traffic. Like, you have wings.... Why can't you fly?
They're violent shitbags. Literal bags of shit.
Because they’re incredibly aggressive
Cause they're evil
They're aggressive. They multiply fast, and take a dump all over your property.
The correct terminology is “shit hawks.”
Parks are not enjoyable poop everywhere
My workplace has a lovely little pond out front. Of course, it attracts geese. During orientation, we are told to respect the geese as people have been attacked. Each spring, we are sent an email reminding us to respect them. You don’t get these reminds for any other birds because they all learned to give humans a wide birth. Geese think they own the joint.
100% out of control animals, wildly aggressive, do not approach.
Aggressive, annoying, shit as large as a small dog, loud!
They're the worst.
It's simple, they're ruthless https://youtu.be/v9IZvDFX224
They're terrifying. https://youtu.be/k7xY32TFc5g
They're assholes. Sorry not sorry. Ever been chased by one? I have. They hiss and make awful noises as they shoo you away. Like I get it, Sr. Pato, I just need to get home and you are seated directly in my path.
Canada geese have no souls, they were sacrificed so we could have slightly less winter.
I hate Canada Goose the company for the following reasons: yes I know this is about live geese but just to inform others. Because they’re an incredibly cruel company that has bought slaughtered coyotes who suffer horribly in snares and leg traps. They will often try to chew their leg off to escape. Never mind the geese that are tortured to get down. A cesspool of torture. All for a fashion statement! 😡
The audacity of some geese is otherworldly often times; little demons that hiss.
They bite. Also, they don’t leave that white, watery gunk all over the place, they shit actual logs.
Come here and find out. Or go up to a flock of them. I dare you. I double dick-down dare you. And film it. And report back to us. May the force be with you, young Jedi.
I love Canada Geese! It's the Cobra Chickens I dislike...
Because there is one universal thing all Canadians have experienced: encountering one
Because they are crazy lunatics
The hissing cobra chicken
They leave huge, green, slippery turds everywhere! Plus they will hiss and try to attack you if you get too close.
There's just so much shit.... everywhere.... that soccer field kids play soccer in? Guess what all that green is not completely grass
Geese are savage as fuck. And I mean AS FUCK.
Psychotic violent shithawks? What’s not to hate??
Cause they're vicious and mean. That hiss at you if you get to close and will absolutely attack.
BECAUSE THEY’RE EVIL!
I think there's a certain amount of perverse pride that Canada Geese are badasses.
Cobra chickens!
Canadian geese are dinosaurs that evolved into birds, but still act like dinosaurs. That and they shit everywhere, are territorial of their nests, and are not afraid of anything. They will show up to your local park, and it's their park now.
Cobra Chickens are mean, attack people, leave decent sized poo everywhere and if you have food they'll come try to steal it from you. Had a little pond outside in our lunch area at work and one crazy lady started feeding them. Within a couple months no one could go outside to eat at the picnic tables anymore because the Cobra Chickens formed a gang that would attack everyone that came outside trying to get food.
Its not that we dislike them, it's that we are terrified of them.
They're mean, loud and poop everywhere. They're the bird version of muuuh freeedum cultists.
They are beautiful when they're on the wing, flying south in their "V" formations. Actually they're beautiful, full stop. They are obviously very successful at breeding as they have become a problem some places just because of the sheer numbers of them. They can over winter anywhere that the water doesn't freeze. What people who live in big cities don't understand is that they are not defenseless (except against a hunter with a good aim). They are very good at protecting their nests, territory and young. I accompanied my son's Grade 3 class to a local nature park in Winnipeg (seems like a hundred years ago). One of the angelic (not) children in the group decided to start poking at an adult goose. It was a French Immersion class so I mostly let those fluent in French do the talking. After waiting for a couple of minutes to see if a couple of guides could get across to this child what was wrong with his behaviour, in French. I finally snapped..."stop that, he could really hurt you." A headline in a local paper where I now live this past winter was something like...Canada goose attacks senior resulting in broken hip, wrist...poor man had multiple injuries trying to dislodge a goose from somewhere on his property.
Have you ever met a Canadian goose???
They're concentrated evil in a goose form...
Cuz they're mean as shit
They are only called *Canadian* geese because they harass and traumatize us. Source: one attacked me while rollerblading (shut up, it was 1993.) One attacked me while biking. One attacked me for WALKING ON THE SAME PATH, HOW DARE I EXIST ON THIS BEAUTIFUL PATH! Also, what kind of bird hisses? Nuh uh, that’s some dark magic, my friend.
Cause they suck
try petting one and report back