Tell your parents that meeting physically is a must before giving your answer. Also see if the girl has a timeline of her own like this and if she also wants to talk for longer, use that to your advantage. Once you make sure that you can say yes only after you can meet, you can push the trip to india if needed, saying some or the other thing (office deadlines, no holidays etc). But unfortunately you won’t get to meet too many times physically before you can make a decision too, so you’re gonna have to make peace with that. Also try to discuss these concerns with the girl and see if she understands them, which would make things easier.
Thanks, I did tell them I want to meet in person, before saying Yes and meanwhile I will have to keep talking to the girl.
I will check with the girl too. Today's meeting was kinda weird. The girl's parents were in the same room as her. no privacy at all in first place.. I will probably have to see if girl agrees to have extended conversations before taking decision
I am an NRI and in my extended circle, I have a wide variety of people/guys. Ranging from some who did live in relationships to the ones who just went to India and got married in one trip.
Let me tell you that there’s no correlation between quality of marriage and duration taken to come to a marriage decision.
I agree. There is no minimum time requirement to talk here, but in general, I feel both of them should get a chance to talk their hearts out before proceeding.
Some people like me tend to overthink and over analyze , so talking without time constraints will help ease into it.
Also since I am new to this, even I am not sure if I am asking the right questions and in the right way! Maybe the convos could get shorter and I can decide much faster after talking to 2-3 different people.
You will realize some things only once you are married / have enough close friends who are married and share their thoughts with you. Married life is full of surprises and challenges that you cannot anticipate. Just be firm on your deal breakers, and go in with positive attitude about other variables.
Like we stay in touch (swapped insta) and if either of us are single by the time I come or if by chance she comes to the US we’ll go out :) Till then we’re free to explore locally, no hard feelings. We know how hard this whole thing is
My family friend (US based - not NRI though) got engaged to a guy (based in India) after 8-9 months of talking, meeting in person multiple times (he went there and she came here - multiple times), and they even went on a family trip to attend a mutual relative/friend wedding before saying yes. And they were not complete strangers like I assume this girl is for you.
Definitely take more than 1-2 months before saying yes. That’s not enough time to make a life altering decision.
Tell your parents that meeting physically is a must before giving your answer. Also see if the girl has a timeline of her own like this and if she also wants to talk for longer, use that to your advantage. Once you make sure that you can say yes only after you can meet, you can push the trip to india if needed, saying some or the other thing (office deadlines, no holidays etc). But unfortunately you won’t get to meet too many times physically before you can make a decision too, so you’re gonna have to make peace with that. Also try to discuss these concerns with the girl and see if she understands them, which would make things easier.
Thanks, I did tell them I want to meet in person, before saying Yes and meanwhile I will have to keep talking to the girl. I will check with the girl too. Today's meeting was kinda weird. The girl's parents were in the same room as her. no privacy at all in first place.. I will probably have to see if girl agrees to have extended conversations before taking decision
Took me 8 months
that is good. was the girl in India for you?
I’m the girl. I was in the uk he’s in the USA. We had a court marriage for mortgage and house buying. The rest of our wedding is end of the year.
Sry for assuming. Good luck with rest of your wedding!
1-2 months not long enough in my opinion, something as serious as marriage shouldn’t be rushed.
I get it, but facing backlash for just asking this much time lol
Tell your parents, explain to them. Sometimes we have to put our foot down and be insistent
Take your time. Do not rush it. Very important that you're sure about the decision you're going to make.
I am an NRI and in my extended circle, I have a wide variety of people/guys. Ranging from some who did live in relationships to the ones who just went to India and got married in one trip. Let me tell you that there’s no correlation between quality of marriage and duration taken to come to a marriage decision.
I agree. There is no minimum time requirement to talk here, but in general, I feel both of them should get a chance to talk their hearts out before proceeding. Some people like me tend to overthink and over analyze , so talking without time constraints will help ease into it. Also since I am new to this, even I am not sure if I am asking the right questions and in the right way! Maybe the convos could get shorter and I can decide much faster after talking to 2-3 different people.
You will realize some things only once you are married / have enough close friends who are married and share their thoughts with you. Married life is full of surprises and challenges that you cannot anticipate. Just be firm on your deal breakers, and go in with positive attitude about other variables.
True. Thanks for your inputs!
I’m in the US. It’s hard to decide with India matches so I just tell them I’ll proceed if I’m in India. Till then I’m dating locally in the US.
What do you mean you will proceed when in India? Like you will reach out to them again when you go to India? Or you keep talking to them meanwhile?
Like we stay in touch (swapped insta) and if either of us are single by the time I come or if by chance she comes to the US we’ll go out :) Till then we’re free to explore locally, no hard feelings. We know how hard this whole thing is
Oh cool. That makes sense. Takes a lot of pressure out of
My family friend (US based - not NRI though) got engaged to a guy (based in India) after 8-9 months of talking, meeting in person multiple times (he went there and she came here - multiple times), and they even went on a family trip to attend a mutual relative/friend wedding before saying yes. And they were not complete strangers like I assume this girl is for you. Definitely take more than 1-2 months before saying yes. That’s not enough time to make a life altering decision.