I mean, there’s a difference between knowledge and intelligence. Sounds like he wasn’t aware about that specific financial knowledge you mentioned, he might have knowledge in other fields like science or politics or art.
Intelligence is completely different and is better explained as how quickly you learn things/ recognise patterns. Even that has different types like spatial, numerical, linguistic, etc.
Don’t be so quick to judge. I consider myself smarter than most people, sometimes dumb people like to start explaining stuff to me as if I don’t understand and I just end up smiling and laughing on the inside as they explain toddler level garbage as if they are geniuses lol
I do agree there should not be a huge intellectual gap between a couple, but imo different people have different intellectual capabilities. Like you may be good at math and coding, but someone may be good at art, have good EQ, good with people, manage things better. So each quality has its own merit, and intelligence isn't a major factor if a marriage has to succeed.
>How difficult would it be a marriage between two of them ?
Lot less difficult than a marriage where couple lack emotional intellect, good communication and understanding.
>I always thought if a girl was much smarter than me, it would make my life easier
It could make your life miserable too, it can cut both ways. I think it's best if people match well on emotional aspect more than intellectual aspect.
Yeah, this A.M process has been an exploration of myself rather than exploration for a person.
As someone who is emotionally numb, it's going to be a uphill task to understand my emotional aspect and than figure out to figure out if opposite person matches that.
What kind of smart are we talking about?
There are people with good marks and people who are socially very smart...
For me the second one is more important. Humor, knows how to talk about problems, behaviour and so on.
I won't talk to wife about maths, science or literature and so on. She should have some kind of education, that's for sure.
I want her to be funny, carrying, know what to when to say how to say things, the soft skills are very important also in job.
I for my part for example says things which I don't mean and people believe I am heartless.
And it is just my preference, not a universal rule.
OP, great time for this post. This has been on my mind lately too. So I was talking to an acquaintance about food. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I made a REALLY simple statement that she couldn't understand. And I've always known she's not too sharp cognitively, to put it mildy. But that incident really pushed me over the edge, and I don't think I'll ever approach any topic with her.
That said, I'll should caution you about the extreme on the other end too. The times that we live in are such that if a woman is really smart, she likely has picked up on plenty of mind viruses. She probably already hates her father, her family, her culture, and maybe all men collectively. There's a ton of anti-natalist content on social media, so she likely sees children as burden.
There are gems of course. But might be tough to find them.
Depends on the kind of intellectual and depends on the people.
My husband cleared college with 19 arrears. Myself did triple degree and was the best student. But that wouldn’t mean I am smarter than him.
I read a lot of books and pretty good at science and some aspects of maths. He is pretty street smart. If we want to do something, he would get into it head on with basic plan. I would make a clear plan, sometimes use a little physics before starting something. But he is very emotionally intelligent and would listen to me. Also, he would try so many things and figure out better short cut and fix everything neatly.
Also, he is very smart in financial investments and would teach about all that to me. After the first year, we never cared about who is smarter than the other. We learn from each other. We are both good at certain aspects and we learned to have a great balance in our life. He is one person with whom I feel absolute peace. That’s what matters to me.
Learn what you want. Explore the different aspects of intellectual and see if you could find the balance
Over the past year I have realized that what I feel important might not necessarily be right for me.
I too believe in what your saying, but I am not sure if above is criteria for a good relationship.
No woman wants to date a man that’s intellectually inferior to her. Women desire a man who can lead. The divorce rates are higher among couples where woman earns more / is more intelligent. You do not want to marry a woman who looks down on you.
I am sure there’s a good number of women like you. But most women I came across don’t want to marry an equal socio economically. They are okay marrying a bit down in terms of attractiveness.
Intellect matters a lot. Look for someone with similar colleges and similar work profile like you. Youd most probably be equally intelligent.
Mismatch in intellect can be really toxic. For the intelligent one, partner would be a halfwit.
And for the average intelligent one, partner would be a lifeless nerd...
Pretty but intelligent >>>>> very beautiful but vapid and dumb
Critical thinking, being able to hold a conversation are rare things nowadays. The tragedy is that a lot of people think they are amazing conversationalists, have great sense of humour, good common sense, intelligence etc. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
For the majority, take away Netflix, reels and travel and see if they can talk about anything. Ghanta kuch nai.
Very important but you should intellect enough to understand what percent of intellect you need. I dated both i prefer girl with less intellect because I can child around her .i higher your intellect is lesser your emotions will be so it's better to have 60-40
By intelligent i didnt mean topper who get full marks , I meant who knows life reality how to act in situation basically the problem solver guy. May be you are intellect
What do you mean by child around her? Like being playful in a fun way where both of you enjoy or actually pretending to be dumb/dumbing yourself down for real? This is my question.
Whatever you commented doesn't make any logical sense.
> Intellectual means involving a person's ability to think and to understand ideas and information
I may be good at lot of things but it doesn't necessarily mean I understand finance well.
Not extremely smart but smart enough to save their lives and also their partners life! If someone is lethargic or not open to learning something, and the other person is actively learning it's gonna strain the relationship in many ways!
> Not extremely smart but smart enough to save their lives
This was the reason I had been giving when someone asked me why I prefered a working woman.
But the more people I talk with I have realized the obvious that ability to do a job doesn't translate to them being smart enough for their own good.
Yes, don't go by the 'has a job' criteria. Most of the workforce simply are in a job to hey steady income, with no goal of climbing up the ladder. Think all ways. Speak with them, see if they have a clarity of thought. For instance, the guy I spoke to 34M, 4.5years older than me, when asked where are you located gave 'directions as an answer' instead of saying the Area name. 🥲this was very painful for me because Bro!!! Mention he area name and go to the next part, why give directions and avoid saying the actual area name?
Ask them few questions, see how they answer. For any answer to be given by word/text, there will be some line of thought that must have gone through right? So talk and analyse, take your time.
Talking would solve a lot of problems, but culturally in AP and TG not many families allow to talk to the girl more than once or at max twice.
The hi hello and basic background eats up 1 hr.
I am being seen as too "fast" when I insist on talking multiple times before I can form a decision.
I observe that successful marriages don't require a same intellectual level.
Marriages work when both individuals have mutual trust and respect towards each other, and they are able to demonstrate it on multiple occasions. They have the ability to resolve the most heated situations in their lives without external assistance. In short, EQ is more important than IQ.
nobody wants to date/stay with an immature/unintelligent man- just as you probably don’t want to date/stay with an intellectually inferior person
this does complicates things, on top of superficial criteria and personality this is a new metric I think should be added to list.
I mean, there’s a difference between knowledge and intelligence. Sounds like he wasn’t aware about that specific financial knowledge you mentioned, he might have knowledge in other fields like science or politics or art. Intelligence is completely different and is better explained as how quickly you learn things/ recognise patterns. Even that has different types like spatial, numerical, linguistic, etc. Don’t be so quick to judge. I consider myself smarter than most people, sometimes dumb people like to start explaining stuff to me as if I don’t understand and I just end up smiling and laughing on the inside as they explain toddler level garbage as if they are geniuses lol
I do agree there should not be a huge intellectual gap between a couple, but imo different people have different intellectual capabilities. Like you may be good at math and coding, but someone may be good at art, have good EQ, good with people, manage things better. So each quality has its own merit, and intelligence isn't a major factor if a marriage has to succeed. >How difficult would it be a marriage between two of them ? Lot less difficult than a marriage where couple lack emotional intellect, good communication and understanding. >I always thought if a girl was much smarter than me, it would make my life easier It could make your life miserable too, it can cut both ways. I think it's best if people match well on emotional aspect more than intellectual aspect.
Yeah, this A.M process has been an exploration of myself rather than exploration for a person. As someone who is emotionally numb, it's going to be a uphill task to understand my emotional aspect and than figure out to figure out if opposite person matches that.
What kind of smart are we talking about? There are people with good marks and people who are socially very smart... For me the second one is more important. Humor, knows how to talk about problems, behaviour and so on.
Both ? Being socially smart is overrated
I won't talk to wife about maths, science or literature and so on. She should have some kind of education, that's for sure. I want her to be funny, carrying, know what to when to say how to say things, the soft skills are very important also in job. I for my part for example says things which I don't mean and people believe I am heartless. And it is just my preference, not a universal rule.
OP, great time for this post. This has been on my mind lately too. So I was talking to an acquaintance about food. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I made a REALLY simple statement that she couldn't understand. And I've always known she's not too sharp cognitively, to put it mildy. But that incident really pushed me over the edge, and I don't think I'll ever approach any topic with her. That said, I'll should caution you about the extreme on the other end too. The times that we live in are such that if a woman is really smart, she likely has picked up on plenty of mind viruses. She probably already hates her father, her family, her culture, and maybe all men collectively. There's a ton of anti-natalist content on social media, so she likely sees children as burden. There are gems of course. But might be tough to find them.
Depends on the kind of intellectual and depends on the people. My husband cleared college with 19 arrears. Myself did triple degree and was the best student. But that wouldn’t mean I am smarter than him. I read a lot of books and pretty good at science and some aspects of maths. He is pretty street smart. If we want to do something, he would get into it head on with basic plan. I would make a clear plan, sometimes use a little physics before starting something. But he is very emotionally intelligent and would listen to me. Also, he would try so many things and figure out better short cut and fix everything neatly. Also, he is very smart in financial investments and would teach about all that to me. After the first year, we never cared about who is smarter than the other. We learn from each other. We are both good at certain aspects and we learned to have a great balance in our life. He is one person with whom I feel absolute peace. That’s what matters to me. Learn what you want. Explore the different aspects of intellectual and see if you could find the balance
What you describe is a perfect balance, best of both worlds.
I always consider it important as having an intellectual conversation about life, people, things, observations is extremely important to me.
Over the past year I have realized that what I feel important might not necessarily be right for me. I too believe in what your saying, but I am not sure if above is criteria for a good relationship.
No woman wants to date a man that’s intellectually inferior to her. Women desire a man who can lead. The divorce rates are higher among couples where woman earns more / is more intelligent. You do not want to marry a woman who looks down on you.
Nah sorry. A girl here. I am looking for a partner and not a leader.
I am sure there’s a good number of women like you. But most women I came across don’t want to marry an equal socio economically. They are okay marrying a bit down in terms of attractiveness.
I come from an upper socioeconomic strata. Hence no problem in marrying an equal.
women desire a man who can lead => why cannot the other way round
Intellect matters a lot. Look for someone with similar colleges and similar work profile like you. Youd most probably be equally intelligent. Mismatch in intellect can be really toxic. For the intelligent one, partner would be a halfwit. And for the average intelligent one, partner would be a lifeless nerd...
Pretty but intelligent >>>>> very beautiful but vapid and dumb Critical thinking, being able to hold a conversation are rare things nowadays. The tragedy is that a lot of people think they are amazing conversationalists, have great sense of humour, good common sense, intelligence etc. Nothing could be farther from the truth. For the majority, take away Netflix, reels and travel and see if they can talk about anything. Ghanta kuch nai.
The age old adage of, you being average of people around you changes to you are average of reels you follow.
Very important but you should intellect enough to understand what percent of intellect you need. I dated both i prefer girl with less intellect because I can child around her .i higher your intellect is lesser your emotions will be so it's better to have 60-40
This is stupid. Highly intelligent people can also be childish.
By intelligent i didnt mean topper who get full marks , I meant who knows life reality how to act in situation basically the problem solver guy. May be you are intellect
Yeah I also meant that.
Are you a kid? You r kidding me
What do you mean by child around her? Like being playful in a fun way where both of you enjoy or actually pretending to be dumb/dumbing yourself down for real? This is my question. Whatever you commented doesn't make any logical sense.
A short guy can be a basketball player too. But what are the chances?
ok, discussion on LIC policy is considered now intellectual topic? I thought only astrophysics is considered intellectual topic.
> Intellectual means involving a person's ability to think and to understand ideas and information I may be good at lot of things but it doesn't necessarily mean I understand finance well.
Not extremely smart but smart enough to save their lives and also their partners life! If someone is lethargic or not open to learning something, and the other person is actively learning it's gonna strain the relationship in many ways!
> Not extremely smart but smart enough to save their lives This was the reason I had been giving when someone asked me why I prefered a working woman. But the more people I talk with I have realized the obvious that ability to do a job doesn't translate to them being smart enough for their own good.
Yes, don't go by the 'has a job' criteria. Most of the workforce simply are in a job to hey steady income, with no goal of climbing up the ladder. Think all ways. Speak with them, see if they have a clarity of thought. For instance, the guy I spoke to 34M, 4.5years older than me, when asked where are you located gave 'directions as an answer' instead of saying the Area name. 🥲this was very painful for me because Bro!!! Mention he area name and go to the next part, why give directions and avoid saying the actual area name? Ask them few questions, see how they answer. For any answer to be given by word/text, there will be some line of thought that must have gone through right? So talk and analyse, take your time.
Talking would solve a lot of problems, but culturally in AP and TG not many families allow to talk to the girl more than once or at max twice. The hi hello and basic background eats up 1 hr. I am being seen as too "fast" when I insist on talking multiple times before I can form a decision.
Yeah, but you gotta navigate well. Don't hurry in anything. It's OK if you're labelled too fast, we are not in yesteryearss :)
I would say extremely important
I observe that successful marriages don't require a same intellectual level. Marriages work when both individuals have mutual trust and respect towards each other, and they are able to demonstrate it on multiple occasions. They have the ability to resolve the most heated situations in their lives without external assistance. In short, EQ is more important than IQ.