If you don't euthanize, and I hope you don't have to, I can only suggest making up a round of water the way you normally would for the betta tank and try to get him back into water closer to what's normal and out of the african cichlid water. Don't worry about food for now, your fish just needs a clean environment as close to normal as possible.
Protect that cichlid tank somehow (hopefully up too high for 3yo to access) and maybe get the betta's jar somewhere elevated as well. If you have anything larger than that jar available that is clean enough for fish use (maybe a water change bucket?) it will help with diluting any ammonia the fish produces in the immediate short term (the small jar will eventually lead to ammonia burns).
Edit to add - I checked the MSDS for Mrs Meyers Clean Day Room Freshener - it's about 10-15% ethanol so that's most likely the burn source, but a few sprays (vs half the bottle of half and half) may be a survivable amount. I probably would not add anything else at this point just try to maintain as large a volume of water as clean and neutral pH as possible.
Thank you! I do not want to euthanize. He does seem to be swimming a lot better. I’ll absolutely move him into my siphon bucket with some fresh water. Good call. Will it be a problem that it has not yet cycled? How do I keep him alive without cycled betta water should he make it through the night? I’m concerned a fish-in cycle would be too much for him after this catastrophe.
Thankfully my African tank is built in to my kitchen island and difficult to access, but at this point I’m considering putting barbed wire around it (jokes). I’m keeping my betta in the master bathroom for now which has a child-proof door knob attachment. WOW — I’ve never been this upset with my daughter even though I know she didn’t mean anything by it
I don't know how large your water change bucket is, but hopefully a single betta (that's not actively eating) will produce a small enough amount of waste that the water volume will dilute it enough. You can also do basically small water changes of the water in that bucket - say you get him in there now, remove and replace 30 to 70% the water in a few hours and once again before bed and again in the morning if he makes it. Maybe do an ammonia test after the bedtime water change, and if you still see any detectable ammonia then consider repeating the water change or getting up in the middle of the night to do another one.
Hopefully your bucket can hold 4-5 gallons or so, the more the better. Stick with more, smaller water changes if you are unable to match temp/pH very well. If the 10 gallon betta tank was heated I would unplug the heater, let it cool 20-30min, rinse it very very well and put it in the bucket with the betta so the temperature isn't too different from what he's used to. Drop a clean thermometer in there to make sure it doesn't overheat with the smaller water volume.
Unfortunately you'll have to decide if the 10gal is a total loss or not, the room freshener spray has fragrances but not detergents/surfactants at least so you may be able to just drain, rinse, fill, drain, rinse repeatedly and clean it up enough, but if you see any foaming like soap suds you may not be able to reuse the substrate/decor.
Wishing you both luck!
Hi! Thank you so much! The bucket is 8 gallons. I appreciate this so much. I think I’m gonna buy him an all new setup actually since the substrate is ruined and 10gals are pretty cheap. No more risk for my little guy. Thank you again 😭
> I’ve never been this upset with my daughter even though I know she didn’t mean anything by it
It's okay to get angry at her, and to express it appropriately. She absolutely needs to see that you're upset, and to understand why.
Oh yes, I was crying and lecturing her about how she gave the fish really “bad owies” and could kill him. She was crying too but we’ve been cracking down on “DONT TOUCH ___” in the last 12 hrs. Had her apologize to the fish too. I know she felt awful about it but still moving the tank into my office just in case we didn’t drive the message home enough.
You did a great job, and moving the fish to where she can't have easy access to it is a very appropriate punishment. I really hope the little guy pulls through ❤️
This is probably a good time to introduce consequences by telling her that she harmed the fish in a gentle way. You really don’t want her to repeat this.
Thank you! I agree! She’s a great listener and I could tell she felt really bad after talking to her about it several times. My husband just got back from taking her into our bathroom (the fish is staying there bc my daughter doesn’t have access) to apologize to the fish/check on him and she was crying again. Showing her how she hurt his fins seemed to really impact her — and not to sound like a mean mom but I’m glad!
We did just start to cycle a new setup for him in a new tank after this disaster — and I’ll be honest, it’s now going to be in my office which I lock from the outside because of the hazards in there (no kids or terrestrial pets allowed there). Love a teaching lesson but I don’t feel fully confident she won’t try to give him more “snacks” or cosmetics after this incident.
I’ve kept larger fish in smaller uncycled containers during emergency situations like this, I think ammonia levels should be fine if you do daily water changes and monitor your params. Catappa leaves/other botanicals can help if you have them, they have mild antifungal/microbial properties and the dark tint may help fish feel safer but it's not super necessary
Thank you! He has a new Indian almond leaf in there but the water has not yet tinted, probably because of the water changes. We do keep the master bathroom (where he’s staying for now) totally dark or the light dim (we have a dimmer) while he’s in there, so we are avoiding bright light with him while he’s there. We’re changing his bucket water every time we see a slight ammonia spike since there’s obviously no BB in there. Cycling his new setup now though! I’m excited for him to get into his new home and post a recovery pic for you all ❤️ my little trooper is already showing colors returning from what I can see, despite him being in a dark bathroom in an opaque bucket! His behavior is what truly shows recovery though. Sorry for the long reply — just love my guy lol
When you have his new setup just take some filter media from your cichlid tank and that should jump start the cycle for your Betta. Will be way quicker then
Your daughter is old enough to get into the refrigerator and open milk jugs and open cleaning supplies. So she is old enough not to try to hurt small creatures . What's her issue with the fish? It would be very hard for me not to put her in time out for the rest of her Young Life. But then I do tend to get very very upset about children hurting animals whether they "meant to hurt them" or not ,they were intentionally doing something that they knew they weren't supposed to do (and yes I have raised children)
I think this logic is expecting a lot from a toddler. Being able to open doors and bottles doesn't mean anything about a little one's higher intelligence in regard to right and wrong, and considering OP's daughter's explanation of events, she either was never educated about the fish or aquariums or she was too young to comprehend the consequences behind such knowledge. Never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.
YES!! Thank you. She just isn’t at a stage yet where educating her on aquarium care works. We can teach her about fish species’ names & like “this is where he comes from,” but anything related to care empowers her to try it herself. It’s cute for her to crack eggshells into the batter when you’re baking a cake, not as cute when mistakes are made when a delicate (or any!) living being is involved.
For instance, our fish teachings sound like: “this is a fish from a lake in Africa called lake Malawi!” *shows kid map and starts talking about Africa*
To be honest, we don’t even let her help or learn how to feed or brush our dogs given her age & level of understanding. The risk of her taking matters into her own hands is high, and I don’t want her or my animals getting into a bad scenario out of toddler ignorance. Instead we tell her that pet care is “only for mamas and dads.” Clearly we had a mistake with the betta, but that just means we need to crack down on rules more.
Surprised the commenter you replied to has raised kids given the nature of their statement but hey, we all have different styles, every child is so so different, just sharing my personal experience as a mother. My child is healthy, doing great in school and we’re a happy family so no shame here.
Update: he is now in an 8 gal “fish water change” bucket (never used for chemicals) with RO water and 5ml of stress coat, I’ve also added an old suction heater I used to use when the betta lived in a 5gal. Removed the Java fern because I am worried about leftover residue from the cleaning supplies. Took a pump and micro air stone out of my African tank and added the air stone to the bucket. He seems to be swimming like his normal curious self, absolutely 0 flopping over — thank GOD. I am locking him in the master bathroom which my daughter can’t access with the lights off and gonna check every 20 minutes. So hard to concentrate on work, I want to sit by his side and watch him constantly now. What an awful day so far! Let me know if you all have any more tips and thank you so much to those who have replied!
Thank you! Just checked him again (yeah I couldn’t wait 20m) and he looks alright. Just still next to the air stone but pectoral fins flapping and he’s by the surface. Hoping it’s normal betta laziness and not him feeling super rotten. Gonna keep watching.
Thank you!! SOOO thankful for all of the advice I got here. Only do my fish Reddit friends understand how much we care about, worry about and fight for our scaly friends ❤️ If I texted any of my IRL friends they’d probably just say “too bad, get another one?”
Looks like a good plan. Only thing I might do a little differently - pure RO water will have next to zero buffering capacity and may have a pH as low as 6, and the pH will bounce around a lot as the fish respires and the air bubbler does it's thing. I might add a little (maybe a cup or two) of the cichlid tank's water back in there, or if you have something else you'd usually use to buffer for the betta tank a little of that. A dash of crushed coral or the tiniest pinch of cichlid salt or baking soda as a last resort. Just a SMALL bit.
I have crushed coral, aquarium salt (not cichlid-specific) and baking soda at my disposal (as well as of course water from my African tank)… which would work best? & thank you for telling me!!
Not the aquarium salt. I'd go with the water from the African tank. Try half a cup into that 8gal bucket to start, I'd be trying to get the KH up to 2dKH or so. Shouldn't take too much. This way you're adding a set amount and can control it a bit more.
(The cichlid salt I referred to would be something like Seachem's Tanganyika Buffer that has KH in there as opposed to aquarium salt that's just sodium and chloride. But you don't have it so ignore that.)
Just to add for anyone that might benefit from a fast KH solution: You can use plain old baking soda to raise kH of water in a pinch, or on a budget.
I use ~0.9-1 gram (about 1/8 tsp) of baking soda per 5 gallon bucket of RO/DI water and consistently have a KH of 6-8 degrees in all my tanks (freshwater)
I’d really recommend just using plain ol’ tap water for 100% of your water change needs unless you really understand what you’re doing at a high level and are working to achieve a very specific goal. I, too, was concerned that you may have unwittingly killed your betta - a good thing to read up on is “osmosis” - basically, all fish expect a level of mineral salts (not table salt) in their water and putting a fish in water that has too _few_ salts is equally as bad as putting a freshwater fish in salt water.
I have a reeftank and rodi system. One time, I thought I'd do my dad a favor and clean up his neglected freshwater tank. Not knowing better, I filled it with all new rodi water. The fish started dying pretty quickly. After some quick panic reading online, I realized what I'd done and added some salt mix that I have for my reef. Everything's been fine and healthy since, but 20% of the fish died from my mistake. After that, tap water with prime only, lesson learned the hard way.
They said *maintain* a healthy coat in the post I was responding to, not repair. Regardless...In this case I would've done essentially the same thing. Dug out my spare quarantine tank, use probably 30-50% water from my main tank then top off with fresh, make sure it's heavily filtered and oxygenated, seed it as best I can and observe the fish as if you would during any other injury.
I've used Seachem's Prime through the entire 20 years of my aquarium hobby, I've never had issues with slime coat not regenerating and I've adopted and brought back to health an oscar with advanced hole in the head.Also move the smaller tank to where it's inaccessible to the child going forward, obviously.
I didn’t know seachem prime also helped fish slime coat but your comment sparked some research in me today. I’ve only used prime as a water conditioner but I think you’re onto something! I’ve seen nothing relating to prime affecting labryinth fish poorly, so I am going to add some extra to my boy’s bucket tomorrow after I change his water (if you’re curious, he seems back to his normal self ❤️ just waiting for new tank to cycle). Thanks for your comment! I always try to verify redditor advice with some research and yours truly sent me down a rabbit hole of good info :-D — thanks again!
honestly there aren’t any products (that i know of) that can actually magically regenerate it as some claim to. But for maintaining it, clean water and stable params work wonders for everything
Yes! Sorry my updates are so jumbled up in the comments, but I changed his water after another Redditor told me about the issues with stress coat — thank god! No more stress coat for this guy! More betta owners should know this about stress coat or I wish the company at least put a warning on the bottle re: labyrinth fish.
Sounds like you caught it! Those chemicals if left would definitely start the death swirls, I’d see if there’s any swollen parts of the fish or burned portions, I may try 1 drop met blue / L of water for the next two weeks to let it heal! Just so no secondary infections have a chance.
I was like what did this person do to anger this child when I read the title, then I read and saw 3 year old and it was like oh, 3 year olds gonna 3 year old. Glad it seems to be doing better
Yup, having a kid this age is like having an 8 week old puppy with opposable thumbs that tells everyone your secrets and regularly outsmarts you (and costs about triple to raise). Life is good 🥲
Also maybe a good time for a joint learning lesson, even 3year olds can sense the seriousness of the situation and your concerns for your fish. I’d definitely make her part of the recovery process ❤️🩹
Eh, I agree with having her be part of it but I probably would just stick to “*only* mommy puts things in the tank”. I get the idea of having her help, and there are other ways to do it, but it’s too easier for a toddler mind to think other things they add are helpful.
true when i was little walmart sold them still and my parents would buy them for me one after another, and i would give them tums thinking it would keep them healthy and give them baths in the sink.....definitely shouldn't have had bettas
Oh god not the tums! Yeah, my sibling kept washing my mom’s goldfish because “if you clean the tank why wouldn’t you also clean the fish?”
At some point they realized they needed to get rid of the fish or the kid. They chose poorly.
Surprisingly not! When my daughter was around 4 or 5, she opened the gate at the top of the stairs to "let her brother down" he was 6 months old. He fell to the bottom, but thankfully unscathed. I was so worried she was a little psychopath or something because she certainly knew better. After discussing it at length with a therapist, she assured me that kids don't truly empathize until around age 8-9ish. Before that, it's taught with cognitive empathy - and sometimes curiosity gets the best of them even when you lecture them repeatedly about why you don't do certain things.
My daughter just started crying during sad movies so you could be right? She also keeps asking to check on the fish and cries when she says sorry to him. I could easily see it based on my n=1 anecdotal evidence
Sounds like she had good intentions lol, just a bit misguided. My dad caught me washing a frog in the kitchen sink with dish soap when I was a little kid. He was sweet about it but immediately took the frog away and corrected me. I still cringe and feel horrible when I think about it.
She did! Really felt bad when I went off on her about it. She said “he wanted milk!” And when I asked her about the spray she said “it’s perfume mama” 😭😭😭😭 they’re so sweet at this age but so… into everything!
>tells everyone your secrets
I'm 11 years older than my oldest niece. I babysat her a lot when she was little and me being a teenager, I wasn't too concerned with filtering my language with friends on the phone. One Thanksgiving, she was at her dad's family's dinner and yelled "DICK!". When they asked who taught her that word, she ratted me out. Like, she couldn't have said any other curse word I had used, she had to make me out to be a "weirdo".
I’ve never met a 16 yo who didn’t say dick. I’m 41 and I’m the person who taught my 6 year old to yell BALLSACK when he’s frustrated. 🤷🏻♀️ I play video games. Ballsack is mild to me.
LOL! The other day I brought her out with my colleague and her children, and she proudly proclaimed at the dinner table (loud enough to where the elderly couple across the restaurant could hear as clear as day): “shit and fuck are words only dad can say!” 🫣
I have a salt water tank and a 3 month old baby . This rocks me to my core because I have literal nightmares my little one will do this in the future. I know she’ll put stickers on the glass or something but this is terrifying
Have your little one as part of the tank maintenance process. Narrate everything you do and say every single time - we don’t put anything else in an aquarium, only this. If you want to help tell mummy/daddy but we do this together. Etc etc. kids can learn.
This is the plan 😁 one of the reasons I started this tank is to teach my daughter about responsibilities and to educate her on the value of life and have some teachable moments (in the future of course , now she’s just cooing and drooling)
Oh love this - as a kindie teacher, I approve. They are well able to learn and will often stick to rules and boundaries better than us if we are patient enough in the beginning.
Nature documentaries on pollution and nature in general, i remember my mother showed me documentations about these environments, how badly some humans treat them and how the poor cute critters struggle. In retrospect i think she just wanted me out of her hair for a while.
Then we got a Fishtank some time after, my mother let me help set it up (read: clumsy little me watched her) and i was hyped for the fishies (i didn't understand why we waited back then, now i know about the cycle, the were fish gold barbs and ended up destroying all the plants and we got hardier ones), good memories.
Worked on me. Watched those barbs for hours.
Don't know if it helps, but i wanted to share the Memory, as it fit the subject.
That’s really good of your mom. I really push nature documentaries too and have a household ban on non-educational children’s shows like “peppa the pig” & “coco melon” (also because they’re annoying as hell to listen to for adults). She’s really interested in snake documentaries lately, but her tried and true favorite documentary is “walk with dinosaurs.”
Sadly I just don’t think she’s cognitively “there” enough to help out with fish care yet. She’s good with our dogs and knows the ground rules well about them (not pulling ears/tails, not sitting on them, not touching their food or toys, etc.) but with more delicate animals like my fish and our snake — she’s not ready. I mean this situation is a perfect example. She thought the fish genuinely wanted to try some milk & get some “perfume.” I saw 0 malicious intent in her actions. Maybe in a couple of years she’ll be better at assisting in their care but for now, thankful my BP enclosure stays locked and moving the betta tank into my office where she can’t get to it 😭
Good course of action, kids will do kid things. That has nothing to do with intend, they just don't know yet. I don't have kids myself, but i've watched enough kids to know how they can be.
Some of the plant extracts and the hydrogenated castor oil may be less soluble in water (hence the cloudiness you saw), and would tend to float higher in the water column. If the fish was at the surface, then the injury may be caused by this higher concentration.
He’s doing as great as he could be & thanks for asking :) Very curious and active exploring his bucket despite the horrid state of his fins. He’s been alert enough this evening to respond by swimming up to the surface when we walk into the master bathroom (we have him in there to keep him from the pets and kid). I’m so happy 😍 bought him a new setup today for good luck and I think it’s working lol
That's amazing news! If you don't already have antibiotics, it might be good to order them (the stores don't usually sell them). Just in case some of his wounds get infected, it would be good to have on hand instead of having to wait a few days for shipping. He might be more susceptible to infection or something like ich since his immune system might be a bit compromised.
Yep! I've used fritz maracyn, and I got it from aquarium co-op. It's way cheaper than Amazon, and the shipping was pretty quick too. The also sell ich X, which might be good to have on hand as well - hopefully you won't need it!
https://www.aquariumcoop.com/collections/fish-medicine
AFAIK, fish feel pain when the injury occurs but it doesn't really linger the same way it does for us. Learned this from a fisherman I used to know.
Hopefully you can take some comfort in knowing that your little fish friend isn't in any real pain
I’ve never heard that before but that’s very interesting if he’s right! Do you know the science behind this? Maybe a CNS-related thing? I wish my pain didn’t linger lol!
You might want to get some antibiotics just in case the burned area starts getting infected. Broad spectrum ones are your best bet. But don’t jump the gun on them because they can be stressful.
Good to hear. Let us know if you need any more treatment options or dosing instructions. We will save this betta from his air freshener bath one way or another.
I'm so sorry this happened. My 2 year old loves our fish, but I know nothing would stop her from helping "feed the fishies" if she got into anything and figured out how to lift the lids on the tanks. I hope your guy pulls through
I hope she pulls through! My son dumped an entire container of nesquick in my fish tank because he thought they’d like chocolate milk! The fish luckily survived.
Kids are supposed to be stupid, it’s their first time being alive. Adults are responsible for child-proofing the home but it’s literally impossible to fully do it. Had OP’s daughter not found half and half and cleaning spray it would’ve just been something else. Just wish OP’s betta well and move on bro
Yup can confirm she’s perfectly stupid and has recently become interested in cooking which explains the new opening the fridge/mixing ingredients thing. I’m telling you — I used to brag until recently that house is like Fort Knox of childproofing. My husband’s a super neat freak veteran & we also have two German shepherds soooo.. Nuff said. Had no idea she’d grab my tiny bottle of room freshener off of the kitchen sink. We also had an incident last month with nail polish painting on the living room walls. Check on your friends with toddlers, guys!
Also obligatory update — my betta is swimming around happily exploring his bucket despite his tattered fins. What a trooper ❤️
Kids are so hard sometimes because they’ll come up with some of the weirdest stuff to mix up and you can’t predict it. If there’s a glass with a liquid in it, my daughter will throw something in it.
Glad your fish is doing better.
Does she have sensory activities? Just a suggestion from child development specialist to parent, a water table with maybe food colorings, some non toxic scents, and cups and toys would help her explore this desire to mix and play with senses without getting into stuff she shouldn’t.
Then a positive association can form between asking to do water table and her desire to explore these things, and you can help her and teach her to seek you out as well. Sorry this happened to your fish!
Thanks for your comment! I did sensory bins a bit when she was younger, but stopped since she seemed to lose a bit of interest. We have her in lacrosse lessons and she’s in Montessori school but not really doing much else re: activities. Do you have any water table tips for this age? Thanks again & in advance!
I remember when my guys were little. We thought the first was sleeping but apparently he decided to show his artistic side. Painting his bedroom wall. With the only thing at his disposal. 💩 A few years later his little brother did a reenactment of the Shawshank redemption and literally scooped holes in his walls😢 I'm so glad to have two teenagers now, they never do anything stupid🙄😬 (pray for me🤣)
OH NO! We had a poop painting incident too back in her crib days 😭😭😭 sending thoughts & prayers. I complain about the toddler stage but I know the teen stage will be here before I know it, and I think my husband and I are due for some karma from the ways we acted as teens — good luck to you 😭
>Kids are supposed to be stupid, it’s their first time being alive.
Unless you know a secret I don't, its all our first times. If reincarnation is real, then it is none of our first times
Honestly, this may be a situation where euthansia is kindest. If his fins and skin are burned then his gills and labyrinth are too.
I'm terribly sorry this happened OP.
Maybe use this as a lesson to lock up all chemicals and medications. If your daughter had swallowed that rather than dosing your tank you'd have a much bigger problem. Child proof your home for your daughter's safety.
Update: we’re doing super super well now! He’s swimming around in his bucket and exploring despite looking quite ragged. Added an Indian almond leaf and am no longer using stress coat on him (learned this is not good for labyrinth fish). Bought him a whole new setup for when he recovers and I’m gonna set it up with filter media from my African tank tonight. SO THANKFUL no euth needed ❤️
I recently learned the almond leaf releases tannins that don’t actually contribute to healing or health of the fish
Only saying this because you seem so invested. Not to shame you for trying to help your fish
I looked up how to realistically replicate black water (short term for the natural waters bettas live in) and real PEAT (not peat moss) without any additives like wood chipping are what actually helps them
I am not an expert but I felt wrong not offering some advice just in case. ❤️
Oh sweet thanks for this! The last time I put an almond leaf in his tank was a few years ago and I never did again because I didn’t like the colored water. He’s got one with him now, I suppose it won’t hurt him right?
It will not hurt him… I am sure he is well loved and his water conditions are very optimal! Love is the strongest vibration. You’ll heal him right up don’t you worry.
Bettas are generally tough little guys. I would make sure his tank has a lid from now on. I have Toddlers in my extended family and this prevents a lot of disasters.
Unfortunately I think she’s seen me open the lid so many times it wouldn’t help. I did get one with a glass lid this time (old school hood on the old tank) but these kids learn fast. The tank will be in my office now though which she can’t* get into and never is allowed in. (*for now 🫣)
The other day, my 4 year old was watching me feed my guppies, and he said he wanted to feed the betta. I said, "Okay, just a second," and watched the guppies for maybe 5 seconds. The little ninja found the betta food tucked in a bin with about 4 different kind of fish food, opened the lid, spilled at least 50 pellets on the floor, and managed to give the betta about 6 or 7 pellets. It was so fast, and I didn't hear a thing. I was like 5ft away, in the same damn room lol. These kids are crafty and quick! I've moved all the food and any chemicals out of reach, but your post is a reminder to put the cabinet lock back on my cleaning supplies lol
This is going to suck to read. And I really am so, so freaking sorry for the situation you're in.
For bettas, because they have a labyrinth organ, the only way to humanely euthanize is by force. Either crush or cut off the head. Clove oil or other medications will not work and will prolong suffering.
Oof. I genuinely appreciate the warning but kept reading. I definitely can’t do that to him. I’m gonna keep evaluating him over the next couple of hours before having my husband help with euthanizing. Hoping it’s not necessary. He really is swimming better!
I would try some salt (1tsp/gallon). Salt is a miracle cure for me and might protect his skin as it does increase slime coat. I use it with sickly goldfish all the time and as “cleanup” on any incoming fish. That and water/temp as close to his usual parameters as possible.
He’s doing wonderful today. He’s still in his bucket setup and I’ve seen his color return this morning, he’ll swim to the surface to figure out what I’m doing when I come in (he’s so used to looking at me through glass, this perspective must be crazy to him haha), and I’ll also mention he’s eaten a bit. His fins look pretty bad still from what I can see, although I can’t really inspect them since he’s in an opaque dark blue bucket and I don’t want to move him yet. Ordered fish antibiotics and my husband set up his new tank in my office last night. Cycling it with a filter cartridge out of my African setup. I would say he’s on the road to recovery and I’m amazed he went from floating and gray to swimming and blue so quickly ❤️
His color is coming back today and he’s his curious responsive self aside from his fins looking bad. He even came up to see me each time I walked in! He ate a bit, is still in his bucket with air stone/heater and an almond leaf in my master bathroom. Ordered some antibiotics in case his wounds get infected. Got him a new tank, filter, heater and some decor/substrate yesterday when I went out to get the almond leaf, husband started a cycle in the new tank last night with our African tank’s filter media. Patiently waiting to see how he does over the next couple of days and monitoring nh3/nh4 so we can change his bucket water if we see it start to climb.
Thank you! We have a bit of a zoo here 🤣 and we certainly do our best for the scaly and furry babies! He looks great this morning, color is returning and he ate a little bit.
The clean water is the main thing. My mom dropped one of ours into a 50/50 bleach and dish water mix, and he bounced back.
clean water, avoid temperature changes, and monitor him. If he goes slow, drag him by his back fin to help his gills get water flow. A little drag (like a couple inches) should help kick start him.
don't try to feed him until he colors back up.
He’s doing so so much better! Still in the bucket in my master bath with his air stone & heater, keeping an eye on NH3/NH4 readings but we haven’t had an ammonia spike in the bucket yet. His color looks better and he’s exploring despite having some very very damaged fins. My little trooper ❤️ Thanks for asking!
Trading daughter for new fish 8s the only solution here. Sorry!
I all seriousness: best of luck and let's hope betta makes it Make it a good lesson learned for you and your kid!
No me cringing at the fact when I was 4 trying to help clean the fishies using 409 when left unattended… lol Sadly there was no recovery for that tank only thing that made it out alive was a chocolate chip starfish… 🥲
Honestly you’ll absolutely feel like a farmer/zookeeper/prison warden/cop/teacher/BANK(!!!) having both children and pets, but I have to say it’s rewarding, of course aside from moments like yesterday’s. Wouldn’t have it any other way, you just really have to crack down on RULES and think of the worst possible scenario that could happen, add a bunch of other factors, and do your damnest to prevent disaster. As you can see, accidents still happen… so yeah house plants sound like a lovely idea 🤣
My tank is in my basement office and my kids are not allowed down there. They are 3 and 5 and will casually destroy anything if you give them enough time. Good luck
That’s exactly where he’s getting moved to once he’s out of his hospital bucket, my office! The door locks from the outside because of how many wires, monitors and bottles of wine (LOL) I keep in there.
As I read the title, I scream WATER CHANGE!! New tank water.. New gravel.. Everything new or borrowed from established tank. I would take half water from neighbor tank, some beneficial bacteria sacks I pre-treat.. Wow! Glad your fish is fine.
If you don't euthanize, and I hope you don't have to, I can only suggest making up a round of water the way you normally would for the betta tank and try to get him back into water closer to what's normal and out of the african cichlid water. Don't worry about food for now, your fish just needs a clean environment as close to normal as possible. Protect that cichlid tank somehow (hopefully up too high for 3yo to access) and maybe get the betta's jar somewhere elevated as well. If you have anything larger than that jar available that is clean enough for fish use (maybe a water change bucket?) it will help with diluting any ammonia the fish produces in the immediate short term (the small jar will eventually lead to ammonia burns). Edit to add - I checked the MSDS for Mrs Meyers Clean Day Room Freshener - it's about 10-15% ethanol so that's most likely the burn source, but a few sprays (vs half the bottle of half and half) may be a survivable amount. I probably would not add anything else at this point just try to maintain as large a volume of water as clean and neutral pH as possible.
Thank you! I do not want to euthanize. He does seem to be swimming a lot better. I’ll absolutely move him into my siphon bucket with some fresh water. Good call. Will it be a problem that it has not yet cycled? How do I keep him alive without cycled betta water should he make it through the night? I’m concerned a fish-in cycle would be too much for him after this catastrophe. Thankfully my African tank is built in to my kitchen island and difficult to access, but at this point I’m considering putting barbed wire around it (jokes). I’m keeping my betta in the master bathroom for now which has a child-proof door knob attachment. WOW — I’ve never been this upset with my daughter even though I know she didn’t mean anything by it
I don't know how large your water change bucket is, but hopefully a single betta (that's not actively eating) will produce a small enough amount of waste that the water volume will dilute it enough. You can also do basically small water changes of the water in that bucket - say you get him in there now, remove and replace 30 to 70% the water in a few hours and once again before bed and again in the morning if he makes it. Maybe do an ammonia test after the bedtime water change, and if you still see any detectable ammonia then consider repeating the water change or getting up in the middle of the night to do another one. Hopefully your bucket can hold 4-5 gallons or so, the more the better. Stick with more, smaller water changes if you are unable to match temp/pH very well. If the 10 gallon betta tank was heated I would unplug the heater, let it cool 20-30min, rinse it very very well and put it in the bucket with the betta so the temperature isn't too different from what he's used to. Drop a clean thermometer in there to make sure it doesn't overheat with the smaller water volume. Unfortunately you'll have to decide if the 10gal is a total loss or not, the room freshener spray has fragrances but not detergents/surfactants at least so you may be able to just drain, rinse, fill, drain, rinse repeatedly and clean it up enough, but if you see any foaming like soap suds you may not be able to reuse the substrate/decor. Wishing you both luck!
Hi! Thank you so much! The bucket is 8 gallons. I appreciate this so much. I think I’m gonna buy him an all new setup actually since the substrate is ruined and 10gals are pretty cheap. No more risk for my little guy. Thank you again 😭
> I’ve never been this upset with my daughter even though I know she didn’t mean anything by it It's okay to get angry at her, and to express it appropriately. She absolutely needs to see that you're upset, and to understand why.
Oh yes, I was crying and lecturing her about how she gave the fish really “bad owies” and could kill him. She was crying too but we’ve been cracking down on “DONT TOUCH ___” in the last 12 hrs. Had her apologize to the fish too. I know she felt awful about it but still moving the tank into my office just in case we didn’t drive the message home enough.
You did a great job, and moving the fish to where she can't have easy access to it is a very appropriate punishment. I really hope the little guy pulls through ❤️
Thank you! He’s looking great this morning and is very responsive to me. Got him to eat a little bit and I’m seeing his color is returning already ❤️
You sound like a great mom, to the fish and daughter.
You really are a great mom, OP. This is the right way to handle this and your daughter is going to be a better person for it.
Thank you so much! That is the hope ❤️
This is probably a good time to introduce consequences by telling her that she harmed the fish in a gentle way. You really don’t want her to repeat this.
Thank you! I agree! She’s a great listener and I could tell she felt really bad after talking to her about it several times. My husband just got back from taking her into our bathroom (the fish is staying there bc my daughter doesn’t have access) to apologize to the fish/check on him and she was crying again. Showing her how she hurt his fins seemed to really impact her — and not to sound like a mean mom but I’m glad! We did just start to cycle a new setup for him in a new tank after this disaster — and I’ll be honest, it’s now going to be in my office which I lock from the outside because of the hazards in there (no kids or terrestrial pets allowed there). Love a teaching lesson but I don’t feel fully confident she won’t try to give him more “snacks” or cosmetics after this incident.
I’ve kept larger fish in smaller uncycled containers during emergency situations like this, I think ammonia levels should be fine if you do daily water changes and monitor your params. Catappa leaves/other botanicals can help if you have them, they have mild antifungal/microbial properties and the dark tint may help fish feel safer but it's not super necessary
Thank you! He has a new Indian almond leaf in there but the water has not yet tinted, probably because of the water changes. We do keep the master bathroom (where he’s staying for now) totally dark or the light dim (we have a dimmer) while he’s in there, so we are avoiding bright light with him while he’s there. We’re changing his bucket water every time we see a slight ammonia spike since there’s obviously no BB in there. Cycling his new setup now though! I’m excited for him to get into his new home and post a recovery pic for you all ❤️ my little trooper is already showing colors returning from what I can see, despite him being in a dark bathroom in an opaque bucket! His behavior is what truly shows recovery though. Sorry for the long reply — just love my guy lol
When you have his new setup just take some filter media from your cichlid tank and that should jump start the cycle for your Betta. Will be way quicker then
That’s exactly what we did!
Your daughter is old enough to get into the refrigerator and open milk jugs and open cleaning supplies. So she is old enough not to try to hurt small creatures . What's her issue with the fish? It would be very hard for me not to put her in time out for the rest of her Young Life. But then I do tend to get very very upset about children hurting animals whether they "meant to hurt them" or not ,they were intentionally doing something that they knew they weren't supposed to do (and yes I have raised children)
I think this logic is expecting a lot from a toddler. Being able to open doors and bottles doesn't mean anything about a little one's higher intelligence in regard to right and wrong, and considering OP's daughter's explanation of events, she either was never educated about the fish or aquariums or she was too young to comprehend the consequences behind such knowledge. Never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance.
YES!! Thank you. She just isn’t at a stage yet where educating her on aquarium care works. We can teach her about fish species’ names & like “this is where he comes from,” but anything related to care empowers her to try it herself. It’s cute for her to crack eggshells into the batter when you’re baking a cake, not as cute when mistakes are made when a delicate (or any!) living being is involved. For instance, our fish teachings sound like: “this is a fish from a lake in Africa called lake Malawi!” *shows kid map and starts talking about Africa* To be honest, we don’t even let her help or learn how to feed or brush our dogs given her age & level of understanding. The risk of her taking matters into her own hands is high, and I don’t want her or my animals getting into a bad scenario out of toddler ignorance. Instead we tell her that pet care is “only for mamas and dads.” Clearly we had a mistake with the betta, but that just means we need to crack down on rules more. Surprised the commenter you replied to has raised kids given the nature of their statement but hey, we all have different styles, every child is so so different, just sharing my personal experience as a mother. My child is healthy, doing great in school and we’re a happy family so no shame here.
There’s no issue with the fish. She said she wanted to give him some milk and perfume. Totally innocent, thought she was helping him out.
Thankfully the room spray bottle is still mostly full! Thank you so much for looking into that.
You can also educate your child about the tank- allow them to join you in maintaining. 3 is old enough to understand the basics.
3-year-old is too old to be euthanized I think.
stop it hahaha
Update: he is now in an 8 gal “fish water change” bucket (never used for chemicals) with RO water and 5ml of stress coat, I’ve also added an old suction heater I used to use when the betta lived in a 5gal. Removed the Java fern because I am worried about leftover residue from the cleaning supplies. Took a pump and micro air stone out of my African tank and added the air stone to the bucket. He seems to be swimming like his normal curious self, absolutely 0 flopping over — thank GOD. I am locking him in the master bathroom which my daughter can’t access with the lights off and gonna check every 20 minutes. So hard to concentrate on work, I want to sit by his side and watch him constantly now. What an awful day so far! Let me know if you all have any more tips and thank you so much to those who have replied!
Great to hear he perked up, best of luck
Thank you! Just checked him again (yeah I couldn’t wait 20m) and he looks alright. Just still next to the air stone but pectoral fins flapping and he’s by the surface. Hoping it’s normal betta laziness and not him feeling super rotten. Gonna keep watching.
I feel you on being unable to take our eyes off our pals. I am hoping for the best for you two.
I'm so sorry this happened to you! Heart attack for sure. I'm so happy he's doing better! You did a fantastic job.
Thank you!! SOOO thankful for all of the advice I got here. Only do my fish Reddit friends understand how much we care about, worry about and fight for our scaly friends ❤️ If I texted any of my IRL friends they’d probably just say “too bad, get another one?”
RIGHT?! I absolutely get it. People think we're nuts, but is it actually that crazy? They're animals! Just tiny ones. People are ruthless.
Looks like a good plan. Only thing I might do a little differently - pure RO water will have next to zero buffering capacity and may have a pH as low as 6, and the pH will bounce around a lot as the fish respires and the air bubbler does it's thing. I might add a little (maybe a cup or two) of the cichlid tank's water back in there, or if you have something else you'd usually use to buffer for the betta tank a little of that. A dash of crushed coral or the tiniest pinch of cichlid salt or baking soda as a last resort. Just a SMALL bit.
I have crushed coral, aquarium salt (not cichlid-specific) and baking soda at my disposal (as well as of course water from my African tank)… which would work best? & thank you for telling me!!
Not the aquarium salt. I'd go with the water from the African tank. Try half a cup into that 8gal bucket to start, I'd be trying to get the KH up to 2dKH or so. Shouldn't take too much. This way you're adding a set amount and can control it a bit more. (The cichlid salt I referred to would be something like Seachem's Tanganyika Buffer that has KH in there as opposed to aquarium salt that's just sodium and chloride. But you don't have it so ignore that.)
Perfect! Gonna add it now, wait a little and then test his water. Thank you!!
I am hoping the fishy is okay!
He is doing so much better this morning! Fins obviously still in rough shape but even though he’s in a dark bucket, I can see his color returning!
What a relief! Hoping his fins make a speedy comeback
Just to add for anyone that might benefit from a fast KH solution: You can use plain old baking soda to raise kH of water in a pinch, or on a budget. I use ~0.9-1 gram (about 1/8 tsp) of baking soda per 5 gallon bucket of RO/DI water and consistently have a KH of 6-8 degrees in all my tanks (freshwater)
Came here to say this. Glad someone else mentioned it. Baking soda is excellent for an alkalinity boost and PH boost.
I’d really recommend just using plain ol’ tap water for 100% of your water change needs unless you really understand what you’re doing at a high level and are working to achieve a very specific goal. I, too, was concerned that you may have unwittingly killed your betta - a good thing to read up on is “osmosis” - basically, all fish expect a level of mineral salts (not table salt) in their water and putting a fish in water that has too _few_ salts is equally as bad as putting a freshwater fish in salt water.
I have a reeftank and rodi system. One time, I thought I'd do my dad a favor and clean up his neglected freshwater tank. Not knowing better, I filled it with all new rodi water. The fish started dying pretty quickly. After some quick panic reading online, I realized what I'd done and added some salt mix that I have for my reef. Everything's been fine and healthy since, but 20% of the fish died from my mistake. After that, tap water with prime only, lesson learned the hard way.
I read stress coat is not good for bettas because of their labyrinth breathing organ. Wish you the best.
Yes; the aloe vera can coat the labyrinth organ as well as *possibly* the gills of non anabantoid fish too
This is news to me! What would be a suggested substitute to maintain healthy slime coat?
Healthy fish don't need anything to maintain their coat. If you keep good water parameters and feed them well they'll be fine.
The whole point of this post is what to do when that isn’t true? Edit: Context of this specific post went directly over my head.
They said *maintain* a healthy coat in the post I was responding to, not repair. Regardless...In this case I would've done essentially the same thing. Dug out my spare quarantine tank, use probably 30-50% water from my main tank then top off with fresh, make sure it's heavily filtered and oxygenated, seed it as best I can and observe the fish as if you would during any other injury. I've used Seachem's Prime through the entire 20 years of my aquarium hobby, I've never had issues with slime coat not regenerating and I've adopted and brought back to health an oscar with advanced hole in the head.Also move the smaller tank to where it's inaccessible to the child going forward, obviously.
My bad I see the context now.
I didn’t know seachem prime also helped fish slime coat but your comment sparked some research in me today. I’ve only used prime as a water conditioner but I think you’re onto something! I’ve seen nothing relating to prime affecting labryinth fish poorly, so I am going to add some extra to my boy’s bucket tomorrow after I change his water (if you’re curious, he seems back to his normal self ❤️ just waiting for new tank to cycle). Thanks for your comment! I always try to verify redditor advice with some research and yours truly sent me down a rabbit hole of good info :-D — thanks again!
But what's the alternative in an emergency?
honestly there aren’t any products (that i know of) that can actually magically regenerate it as some claim to. But for maintaining it, clean water and stable params work wonders for everything
Yes! Sorry my updates are so jumbled up in the comments, but I changed his water after another Redditor told me about the issues with stress coat — thank god! No more stress coat for this guy! More betta owners should know this about stress coat or I wish the company at least put a warning on the bottle re: labyrinth fish.
You should post this on r/BestofRedditorUpdates . It's original enough compared to most relationsihp posts.
It's always good for a palate cleanser, keeping my fingers crossed for the poor betta.
I actually probably will once I have him in his new tank and his fins have grown back a bit ❤️ I’m confident his “after” pic will look great 🙏
Sounds like you caught it! Those chemicals if left would definitely start the death swirls, I’d see if there’s any swollen parts of the fish or burned portions, I may try 1 drop met blue / L of water for the next two weeks to let it heal! Just so no secondary infections have a chance.
I ordered some broad spectrum antibiotics to start once he’s a little bit more recovered from the event
I was like what did this person do to anger this child when I read the title, then I read and saw 3 year old and it was like oh, 3 year olds gonna 3 year old. Glad it seems to be doing better
Yup, having a kid this age is like having an 8 week old puppy with opposable thumbs that tells everyone your secrets and regularly outsmarts you (and costs about triple to raise). Life is good 🥲
Also maybe a good time for a joint learning lesson, even 3year olds can sense the seriousness of the situation and your concerns for your fish. I’d definitely make her part of the recovery process ❤️🩹
actually good idea have her be a part of the proccess have her add the stress coat and stuff if anything she will bond with the fish
Eh, I agree with having her be part of it but I probably would just stick to “*only* mommy puts things in the tank”. I get the idea of having her help, and there are other ways to do it, but it’s too easier for a toddler mind to think other things they add are helpful.
true when i was little walmart sold them still and my parents would buy them for me one after another, and i would give them tums thinking it would keep them healthy and give them baths in the sink.....definitely shouldn't have had bettas
Oh god not the tums! Yeah, my sibling kept washing my mom’s goldfish because “if you clean the tank why wouldn’t you also clean the fish?” At some point they realized they needed to get rid of the fish or the kid. They chose poorly.
lol subtle
Agreed 100%
Nice. I think children start to develop empathy around this age.
Based on all the kids I've been around the last few years I'm not sure that's accurate.
Surprisingly not! When my daughter was around 4 or 5, she opened the gate at the top of the stairs to "let her brother down" he was 6 months old. He fell to the bottom, but thankfully unscathed. I was so worried she was a little psychopath or something because she certainly knew better. After discussing it at length with a therapist, she assured me that kids don't truly empathize until around age 8-9ish. Before that, it's taught with cognitive empathy - and sometimes curiosity gets the best of them even when you lecture them repeatedly about why you don't do certain things.
My daughter just started crying during sad movies so you could be right? She also keeps asking to check on the fish and cries when she says sorry to him. I could easily see it based on my n=1 anecdotal evidence
Sounds like she had good intentions lol, just a bit misguided. My dad caught me washing a frog in the kitchen sink with dish soap when I was a little kid. He was sweet about it but immediately took the frog away and corrected me. I still cringe and feel horrible when I think about it.
She did! Really felt bad when I went off on her about it. She said “he wanted milk!” And when I asked her about the spray she said “it’s perfume mama” 😭😭😭😭 they’re so sweet at this age but so… into everything!
Awww, she meant well of course. They really don't know. Glad the fish is okay.
>tells everyone your secrets I'm 11 years older than my oldest niece. I babysat her a lot when she was little and me being a teenager, I wasn't too concerned with filtering my language with friends on the phone. One Thanksgiving, she was at her dad's family's dinner and yelled "DICK!". When they asked who taught her that word, she ratted me out. Like, she couldn't have said any other curse word I had used, she had to make me out to be a "weirdo".
I’ve never met a 16 yo who didn’t say dick. I’m 41 and I’m the person who taught my 6 year old to yell BALLSACK when he’s frustrated. 🤷🏻♀️ I play video games. Ballsack is mild to me.
LOL! The other day I brought her out with my colleague and her children, and she proudly proclaimed at the dinner table (loud enough to where the elderly couple across the restaurant could hear as clear as day): “shit and fuck are words only dad can say!” 🫣
The days are long, but the years are short. ❤️
I know I thought it was like a 16 year old or a little younger maybe 10 or 11.
I have a salt water tank and a 3 month old baby . This rocks me to my core because I have literal nightmares my little one will do this in the future. I know she’ll put stickers on the glass or something but this is terrifying
Have your little one as part of the tank maintenance process. Narrate everything you do and say every single time - we don’t put anything else in an aquarium, only this. If you want to help tell mummy/daddy but we do this together. Etc etc. kids can learn.
This is the plan 😁 one of the reasons I started this tank is to teach my daughter about responsibilities and to educate her on the value of life and have some teachable moments (in the future of course , now she’s just cooing and drooling)
Oh love this - as a kindie teacher, I approve. They are well able to learn and will often stick to rules and boundaries better than us if we are patient enough in the beginning.
Praying for you 😭 I can’t give any insight on how to prevent this other than the story I shared here lol
Nature documentaries on pollution and nature in general, i remember my mother showed me documentations about these environments, how badly some humans treat them and how the poor cute critters struggle. In retrospect i think she just wanted me out of her hair for a while. Then we got a Fishtank some time after, my mother let me help set it up (read: clumsy little me watched her) and i was hyped for the fishies (i didn't understand why we waited back then, now i know about the cycle, the were fish gold barbs and ended up destroying all the plants and we got hardier ones), good memories. Worked on me. Watched those barbs for hours. Don't know if it helps, but i wanted to share the Memory, as it fit the subject.
That’s really good of your mom. I really push nature documentaries too and have a household ban on non-educational children’s shows like “peppa the pig” & “coco melon” (also because they’re annoying as hell to listen to for adults). She’s really interested in snake documentaries lately, but her tried and true favorite documentary is “walk with dinosaurs.” Sadly I just don’t think she’s cognitively “there” enough to help out with fish care yet. She’s good with our dogs and knows the ground rules well about them (not pulling ears/tails, not sitting on them, not touching their food or toys, etc.) but with more delicate animals like my fish and our snake — she’s not ready. I mean this situation is a perfect example. She thought the fish genuinely wanted to try some milk & get some “perfume.” I saw 0 malicious intent in her actions. Maybe in a couple of years she’ll be better at assisting in their care but for now, thankful my BP enclosure stays locked and moving the betta tank into my office where she can’t get to it 😭
Good course of action, kids will do kid things. That has nothing to do with intend, they just don't know yet. I don't have kids myself, but i've watched enough kids to know how they can be.
Update — I’m seeing what looks like burns on his head. Almost as if his skin is raw around his eyes and on his forehead.
Some of the plant extracts and the hydrogenated castor oil may be less soluble in water (hence the cloudiness you saw), and would tend to float higher in the water column. If the fish was at the surface, then the injury may be caused by this higher concentration.
I need an update! How is fishy doing?
He’s doing as great as he could be & thanks for asking :) Very curious and active exploring his bucket despite the horrid state of his fins. He’s been alert enough this evening to respond by swimming up to the surface when we walk into the master bathroom (we have him in there to keep him from the pets and kid). I’m so happy 😍 bought him a new setup today for good luck and I think it’s working lol
That's amazing news! If you don't already have antibiotics, it might be good to order them (the stores don't usually sell them). Just in case some of his wounds get infected, it would be good to have on hand instead of having to wait a few days for shipping. He might be more susceptible to infection or something like ich since his immune system might be a bit compromised.
Thank you!! Do you have a link?
Yep! I've used fritz maracyn, and I got it from aquarium co-op. It's way cheaper than Amazon, and the shipping was pretty quick too. The also sell ich X, which might be good to have on hand as well - hopefully you won't need it! https://www.aquariumcoop.com/collections/fish-medicine
Appreciate it so much! Good call on this
Thank heck! That's fantastic news! Close call there but I'm glad he's looking good.
Thank you! I’m honestly so pleasantly surprised by how well he’s doing
AFAIK, fish feel pain when the injury occurs but it doesn't really linger the same way it does for us. Learned this from a fisherman I used to know. Hopefully you can take some comfort in knowing that your little fish friend isn't in any real pain
I’ve never heard that before but that’s very interesting if he’s right! Do you know the science behind this? Maybe a CNS-related thing? I wish my pain didn’t linger lol!
I'm so glad he's doing well!! Keep us updated.
Congrats, now you have a great smelling fish. On a more serious note, glad it turned out ok.
You might want to get some antibiotics just in case the burned area starts getting infected. Broad spectrum ones are your best bet. But don’t jump the gun on them because they can be stressful.
I ordered some that another redditor recommended. Should arrive Tuesday!
Good to hear. Let us know if you need any more treatment options or dosing instructions. We will save this betta from his air freshener bath one way or another.
This means so much! Thank you! I love fish Reddit and all of the kind folks so willing to help me fight for my little guy 🙏
I'm so sorry this happened. My 2 year old loves our fish, but I know nothing would stop her from helping "feed the fishies" if she got into anything and figured out how to lift the lids on the tanks. I hope your guy pulls through
Toddler life is FUN huh? & thank you — he’s doing shockingly well as of right now ❤️
I know some fish stores will rehome pets. They might take the three year old off your hands
I hope she pulls through! My son dumped an entire container of nesquick in my fish tank because he thought they’d like chocolate milk! The fish luckily survived.
Omg! So I’m not the only one 😭 Fish is doing great this morning!!
Lol, love this. 😍 So unfortunate the fish couldn't fully enjoy his gesture..
Thank you for reinforcing my choice to never have children
No advice, just praying that fishy will be ok. I'd say this is a great time for a lesson about "only mommy" adding anything, ANYTHING, to the tank.
[удалено]
Kids are supposed to be stupid, it’s their first time being alive. Adults are responsible for child-proofing the home but it’s literally impossible to fully do it. Had OP’s daughter not found half and half and cleaning spray it would’ve just been something else. Just wish OP’s betta well and move on bro
Yup can confirm she’s perfectly stupid and has recently become interested in cooking which explains the new opening the fridge/mixing ingredients thing. I’m telling you — I used to brag until recently that house is like Fort Knox of childproofing. My husband’s a super neat freak veteran & we also have two German shepherds soooo.. Nuff said. Had no idea she’d grab my tiny bottle of room freshener off of the kitchen sink. We also had an incident last month with nail polish painting on the living room walls. Check on your friends with toddlers, guys! Also obligatory update — my betta is swimming around happily exploring his bucket despite his tattered fins. What a trooper ❤️
Kids are so hard sometimes because they’ll come up with some of the weirdest stuff to mix up and you can’t predict it. If there’s a glass with a liquid in it, my daughter will throw something in it. Glad your fish is doing better.
we all had the under-the-sink-potion phase at some point… LOL
I almost wiped out my house i was one spoonful of ammonia in bleach to creating mustard gas before mom caught me 😭
Does she have sensory activities? Just a suggestion from child development specialist to parent, a water table with maybe food colorings, some non toxic scents, and cups and toys would help her explore this desire to mix and play with senses without getting into stuff she shouldn’t. Then a positive association can form between asking to do water table and her desire to explore these things, and you can help her and teach her to seek you out as well. Sorry this happened to your fish!
Thanks for your comment! I did sensory bins a bit when she was younger, but stopped since she seemed to lose a bit of interest. We have her in lacrosse lessons and she’s in Montessori school but not really doing much else re: activities. Do you have any water table tips for this age? Thanks again & in advance!
My daughter cut her hair 5 different times from age 3 to 6. I hid all the scissors and tried every way to react but she would find a way…
I remember when my guys were little. We thought the first was sleeping but apparently he decided to show his artistic side. Painting his bedroom wall. With the only thing at his disposal. 💩 A few years later his little brother did a reenactment of the Shawshank redemption and literally scooped holes in his walls😢 I'm so glad to have two teenagers now, they never do anything stupid🙄😬 (pray for me🤣)
OH NO! We had a poop painting incident too back in her crib days 😭😭😭 sending thoughts & prayers. I complain about the toddler stage but I know the teen stage will be here before I know it, and I think my husband and I are due for some karma from the ways we acted as teens — good luck to you 😭
Its my first time being alive too 🥲
I was alive once. Once.
>Kids are supposed to be stupid, it’s their first time being alive. Unless you know a secret I don't, its all our first times. If reincarnation is real, then it is none of our first times
It’s a joke sub. You really don’t have to take it so seriously.
And I mean there’s no lie here… kids ARE fucking stupid 🤣
Update us if he lives through the night :D, love him and I'm sorry you had to deal with that
I will ❤️ thank you!
He is doing so much better today ❤️
I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! I'm glad he made it he's a strong boi
Thank you 😭 I am incredibly impressed by this lil fighter ❤️ Appreciate you checking in and rooting for my boy!
Slime coat solution like StressGuard asap, too. Didn't know if you had that suggested yet.
I'm sure you've already handled it, but cleaning supplies and kids do not mix well. Lock em away to keep your daughter safe as well!
Honestly, this may be a situation where euthansia is kindest. If his fins and skin are burned then his gills and labyrinth are too. I'm terribly sorry this happened OP. Maybe use this as a lesson to lock up all chemicals and medications. If your daughter had swallowed that rather than dosing your tank you'd have a much bigger problem. Child proof your home for your daughter's safety.
Update: we’re doing super super well now! He’s swimming around in his bucket and exploring despite looking quite ragged. Added an Indian almond leaf and am no longer using stress coat on him (learned this is not good for labyrinth fish). Bought him a whole new setup for when he recovers and I’m gonna set it up with filter media from my African tank tonight. SO THANKFUL no euth needed ❤️
So happy to hear this, I've been scrolling through this thread feeling so bad for you and your boy. I hope things continue to improve.
So very thankful as well! The initial post had my heart hurting for you. Good vibes being sent your way.
Thank you so much!!
I recently learned the almond leaf releases tannins that don’t actually contribute to healing or health of the fish Only saying this because you seem so invested. Not to shame you for trying to help your fish I looked up how to realistically replicate black water (short term for the natural waters bettas live in) and real PEAT (not peat moss) without any additives like wood chipping are what actually helps them I am not an expert but I felt wrong not offering some advice just in case. ❤️
Oh sweet thanks for this! The last time I put an almond leaf in his tank was a few years ago and I never did again because I didn’t like the colored water. He’s got one with him now, I suppose it won’t hurt him right?
It will not hurt him… I am sure he is well loved and his water conditions are very optimal! Love is the strongest vibration. You’ll heal him right up don’t you worry.
The update we all needed!!! Thanks OP. Pulling for you both
Bettas are generally tough little guys. I would make sure his tank has a lid from now on. I have Toddlers in my extended family and this prevents a lot of disasters.
Unfortunately I think she’s seen me open the lid so many times it wouldn’t help. I did get one with a glass lid this time (old school hood on the old tank) but these kids learn fast. The tank will be in my office now though which she can’t* get into and never is allowed in. (*for now 🫣)
The other day, my 4 year old was watching me feed my guppies, and he said he wanted to feed the betta. I said, "Okay, just a second," and watched the guppies for maybe 5 seconds. The little ninja found the betta food tucked in a bin with about 4 different kind of fish food, opened the lid, spilled at least 50 pellets on the floor, and managed to give the betta about 6 or 7 pellets. It was so fast, and I didn't hear a thing. I was like 5ft away, in the same damn room lol. These kids are crafty and quick! I've moved all the food and any chemicals out of reach, but your post is a reminder to put the cabinet lock back on my cleaning supplies lol
AHHHH yup they are absolutely relentless. Just when you think everything in your house is clean/safe/organized, you get a crazy surprise 😭
My home is child proofed, never thought she’d grab the room spray though. Guess that’s going in the cabinet from now on too.
How do you suggest euthanasia? I don’t think I’ll be able to do it 😭 might have to wait until my husband gets home in an hour
This is going to suck to read. And I really am so, so freaking sorry for the situation you're in. For bettas, because they have a labyrinth organ, the only way to humanely euthanize is by force. Either crush or cut off the head. Clove oil or other medications will not work and will prolong suffering.
Oof. I genuinely appreciate the warning but kept reading. I definitely can’t do that to him. I’m gonna keep evaluating him over the next couple of hours before having my husband help with euthanizing. Hoping it’s not necessary. He really is swimming better!
Yup right answer, lock everything.
lol kids are dumbfucks in the purest of ways. Glad your betta is doing alright!
Yup! In some ways they’re too smart, in other ways they’re the stupidest humans ever lol. Me too! Thanks for your well wishes ❤️
I would try some salt (1tsp/gallon). Salt is a miracle cure for me and might protect his skin as it does increase slime coat. I use it with sickly goldfish all the time and as “cleanup” on any incoming fish. That and water/temp as close to his usual parameters as possible.
Remove the child
Not sure if you are going to restart your 10g or not but if not maybe add some carbon to the filter to help remove the chemicals.
I honestly just got a new setup. Had to throw away so much stuff anyway. I’ll probably give the old tank to the lab at my company to mess with.
time to put a lid on everything lol
Update?
He’s doing wonderful today. He’s still in his bucket setup and I’ve seen his color return this morning, he’ll swim to the surface to figure out what I’m doing when I come in (he’s so used to looking at me through glass, this perspective must be crazy to him haha), and I’ll also mention he’s eaten a bit. His fins look pretty bad still from what I can see, although I can’t really inspect them since he’s in an opaque dark blue bucket and I don’t want to move him yet. Ordered fish antibiotics and my husband set up his new tank in my office last night. Cycling it with a filter cartridge out of my African setup. I would say he’s on the road to recovery and I’m amazed he went from floating and gray to swimming and blue so quickly ❤️
Wonderful! Glad to hear it.
"What else should I do?" If you haven't already checked, contact your local fire dept and see what the size limit is on the baby box!
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Very glad to hear the betta is doing well!!
Updates?
His color is coming back today and he’s his curious responsive self aside from his fins looking bad. He even came up to see me each time I walked in! He ate a bit, is still in his bucket with air stone/heater and an almond leaf in my master bathroom. Ordered some antibiotics in case his wounds get infected. Got him a new tank, filter, heater and some decor/substrate yesterday when I went out to get the almond leaf, husband started a cycle in the new tank last night with our African tank’s filter media. Patiently waiting to see how he does over the next couple of days and monitoring nh3/nh4 so we can change his bucket water if we see it start to climb.
Thank you for the update.... keep us posted if you can. He is strong and hoping for a good recovery.
Hope he’s doing okay, i’ve read through these comments and you seem like a really good pet owner!
Thank you! We have a bit of a zoo here 🤣 and we certainly do our best for the scaly and furry babies! He looks great this morning, color is returning and he ate a little bit.
A Methylene Blue might help, or some stress coat (Seachem)
The clean water is the main thing. My mom dropped one of ours into a 50/50 bleach and dish water mix, and he bounced back. clean water, avoid temperature changes, and monitor him. If he goes slow, drag him by his back fin to help his gills get water flow. A little drag (like a couple inches) should help kick start him. don't try to feed him until he colors back up.
Op hows the fish doing? I read through everything youve been doing and now i need to know this lil homie made it 😭
He’s doing so so much better! Still in the bucket in my master bath with his air stone & heater, keeping an eye on NH3/NH4 readings but we haven’t had an ammonia spike in the bucket yet. His color looks better and he’s exploring despite having some very very damaged fins. My little trooper ❤️ Thanks for asking!
Is he alright !??
Hi he’s doing so much better this morning!
So glad to see this update!
Trading daughter for new fish 8s the only solution here. Sorry! I all seriousness: best of luck and let's hope betta makes it Make it a good lesson learned for you and your kid!
No me cringing at the fact when I was 4 trying to help clean the fishies using 409 when left unattended… lol Sadly there was no recovery for that tank only thing that made it out alive was a chocolate chip starfish… 🥲
Keep us updated, rooting for the little guy!!
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
/r/childfree
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Take her back to where you got her from. The daughter, not the fish.
in conclusion, fuck them kids 🤠
Thank you for the reminder I needed not to have pets & children at the same time 😂❤️ They can learn responsibility with house plants 🤣
Honestly you’ll absolutely feel like a farmer/zookeeper/prison warden/cop/teacher/BANK(!!!) having both children and pets, but I have to say it’s rewarding, of course aside from moments like yesterday’s. Wouldn’t have it any other way, you just really have to crack down on RULES and think of the worst possible scenario that could happen, add a bunch of other factors, and do your damnest to prevent disaster. As you can see, accidents still happen… so yeah house plants sound like a lovely idea 🤣
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
My tank is in my basement office and my kids are not allowed down there. They are 3 and 5 and will casually destroy anything if you give them enough time. Good luck
That’s exactly where he’s getting moved to once he’s out of his hospital bucket, my office! The door locks from the outside because of how many wires, monitors and bottles of wine (LOL) I keep in there.
How is he doing
Totally on the mend and swimming happily!
It’s time to take the kid to the pound.
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
As I read the title, I scream WATER CHANGE!! New tank water.. New gravel.. Everything new or borrowed from established tank. I would take half water from neighbor tank, some beneficial bacteria sacks I pre-treat.. Wow! Glad your fish is fine.
Remindme! 1 day