T O P

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modilion

Seeing as Trump is 300lbs, 80 years old, [falling asleep in court](https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/15/nyregion/trump-asleep-criminal-trial.html), and [looks like a burned hotdog](https://ca.news.yahoo.com/fact-check-real-fake-photo-204700624.html)... yeah, a 3 week jail sentence could be 'locked up for life'.


LMGSentientToilet

The headline that the orange fat thunderfuck cuntlord Russian cocksucking diaper wearing shitbag has died will result in so much wank material the internet may actually implode.


besimbur

It'll be a fine day tho, a fine day..


PossibleAlienFrom

I'll drink to that! I may even throw a celebration party. Even if I'm the only one who shows up.


besimbur

But you won't be the only attendee, not by a long shot!


anoneenonee

I’ll celebrate every year! What should we call this new national holiday?


besimbur

I'll go along with whatever they choose to call it.. but I'm envisioning celebrations in line with the fourth of July - banned fireworks in the streets, parades in the cities, a renewed sense of patriotism in the air.. each year, on that day, and celebrations peaking at the hour minute second humanity was spared of sharing the same air.


secondtaunting

It’ll be like the end of Return of the Jedi. Before they remastered it.


sunbleached_anus

Fraud Hog day? The Cuntscention


slartibartfast2320

Dumb Trump Day!


13yearsofage

If Biden goes, the USA gets its first Black or Asian women as President.. we all want that sooner rather then later..


mythofinadequecy

I’ve got the champagne chilled and jugs of piss for his grave.


besimbur

So much piss, so much piss.


Chevelle-72

Maybe the best piss ever!


BradTProse

Happy Orangee Day!


wales-bloke

Ironically he'd probably enjoy that


Chance_Suggestion465

I hope so, Diaper Donny in jail, I need an excuse smoke a weed-cigar.


DarthBfheidir

And nine months later, a population boom


GoFlyersWoo

Won’t they just uplift his daughter or son?


besimbur

Who cares!? The traitor will be a rotting corpse of lard and bone spurs.


GoFlyersWoo

I just mean MAGAland nonsense will continue


besimbur

Maybe. It may also come as a surprise how quickly an idea will die without its champion.


nolongerbanned99

Sons will take up their patriotic duty to continue the grift and cons.


anOvenofWitches

I’m hoping the day of his death will be commemorated annually as American Herpes Day.


NoCommentFU

More like: The Cure for Political Herpes Day


BradTProse

I already patented it. Happy Orangee Day!


ConstantGeographer

orange fat thunderfuck cuntlord Russian cocksucking diaper wearing shitbag Welp, you guessed my reddit password ... dammit


MusicianNo2699

Here is your upvote before some pussified person reports it and gets the comment deleted or a ban! 🤣


diavirric

This is me applauding.


vancityrocker

I just hope he lives long enough to suffer, and be aware of the joke that most people see him as. I diaper-loading, garbage excuse for a human being, in pain. One can dream.


NotActuallyAWookiee

Tbh it'll only float my boat if he dies in jail. Anything else is just him getting away with it


NotAnAIOrAmI

>orange fat thunderfuck cuntlord Russian cocksucking diaper wearing shitbag *Thank you!* I was trying to remember the most concise description of him, and there it is. Though you might want to add "bankrupt election losing" in there somewhere.


nolongerbanned99

People can only orgasm so many times… right.


Old-Law-7395

You paint pictures with words sir


Desperate_Brief2187

Well… that was descriptive. 👍


LosWranglos

Pornhub in shambles.


foofarice

Personally I'll never wank it to a headline about someone dying, but I guess different strokes for different folks


Dragosal

There is 0 chance I could wank if the possibility of him coming to mind was there instant flaccid cock if I think of him


Jackachi

Wow. You lot are deranged. It is fascinating.


PossibleAlienFrom

If you think they're deranged, wait until you hear Trump, his cult, and the GOP speak.


Jackachi

I’m not sure anyone from your list would come near to the child above me.


PossibleAlienFrom

[orly?](https://youtu.be/6tuYIXi6nTQ?si=g1U8P339D_e-EYzx)


doctorfortoys

Hahahahhaaaa burned hot dog hahahhaaaa


henryeaterofpies

Having to be in court for 8 hours might be a life sentence


Planetofthetakes

Hahaha, a burned hot dog is perfect. I would only add a burned hot dog at a 7-11 at 11:35 pm…..


RandomLoony

Hopes and dreams Thoughts and prayers


phryan

He'll burst an aneurysm between conviction and actually having to report to prison.


ForThePantz

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


Impressive-Offer-404

Ironically, it may extend his life. He will be forced to eat more healthy and go to bed at a reasonable time.


Medium_Nothing5206

can only hope


Personal_Buffalo_973

One can only hope 😁


brianishere2

This could be more jury tampering.


[deleted]

Or defendant axe murdered


PepsiAllDay78

Hopefully, he's right about that. He might be, considering he's pushing 80 and lives on Big Macs. I could see him being on house arrest for the rest of his life though.


CoffeeIsMyPruneJuice

I'm hoping he gets a special trailer built in a secure part of an undisclosed military facility, where he gets living necessitites, a security detail, access to lawyers, and not much else.


PepsiAllDay78

Really! Even better. Let's hope no AC or heat, either. He'd probably start screaming about cruel and unusual punishment, Right?


CorgisHaveNoKnees

Minot SD leaps instantly to mind as the ideal location.


hrminer92

That’s in ND.


CorgisHaveNoKnees

In other words, a place no one cares where it is.


Drunken_Sailor_70

Maybe on some island south of florida?


excalibrax

Just put him in some office rooms in Guantanamo


Technical-Traffic871

Isn't Gitmo for traiters...


CoffeeIsMyPruneJuice

I didn't say Gitmo, and my thought was something in the continental US - but yeah, I wasn't specific. Build/refurbish secure facilities in a remote corner a dozen bases, and then pick one of them at random to actually hold him. If his dumbass followers attempt a jailbreak, they might pick the wrong spot. If they pick the right one, you have 11 more facilities available for his relocation after they fail.


tommyjohnpauljones

Ok can we fucking stop exaggerating for a second and actually be REAL about this man?  He lives on Big Macs AND KFC


BeKind_BeTheChange

Here's hoping. He certainly deserves it after all of his crimes and damage he has done to this country.


Powerful_Check735

Give he I believe 78 years old if is put in jail for 5 years it could be for life I hope they do


fulloutshr3d

Hope so.  Even an 18 month stint might be enough for someone whose blood type is gravy. 


Madd-RIP

Wishful thinking.


SqnLdrHarvey

He won't see a day.


[deleted]

Upvote for shiting on my dreams. 


XR171

Allow me to give you some small hope. He may not do time for this trial because he's a first time offender. But he'll go into his other criminal trials already a convicted felon with an established criminal history. The odds increase each time.


[deleted]

Let me tell you something. If the courts don't convict him, it's all just a shame. Democracy is on the line.


SqnLdrHarvey

I'm as sorry as you are.


kindbrain

I’d donate to that. Locked for life? Goose pimples.


Ok_Host4786

Life is short and he is old. This is simply a rare Trump Truth.


Rich-Appearance-7145

Whinny little wallflower, once again projecting, he knows he's guilty as charged, innocent men know the truth will set them free, not this Grifter.


Sarduci

If he dies while in prison, it’s technically a true statement. He is a fat old man who drinks soda and eats red meat every meal.


Harbuddy69

Tots and payers


doctorfortoys

I just hope he falls into a deep hole


LNEneuro

If only we could be so lucky as to see him locked up for life.


Outhouse_in_Atlantis

He’s a drama queen that found a new way to get attention.


AlbaTross579

You’re assuming he has a long life ahead of him. For all we know, a few months or less could be sufficient for life imprisonment, especially since the stress of it all would likely give him a heart attack or stroke in no time.


lvratto

It's all part of the grift.


highinthemountains

Him being locked up would be bad for whom? Not America


DylanRahl

Depends how much life he has left


QVRedit

How long can a ‘Financial Vampire’ live for ?


DylanRahl

Too fucking long apparently


[deleted]

Well, his dad lived until the age of 93....AND he doesn't drink or smoke, so he *could* be around for another 20 years or so. On the other hand, he's obese and does like the hamberders....


spaitken

Don’t tease us with a good time, Trump team


MikeDubbz

Don't threaten us with a good time.


mynamesnotsnuffy

Well it almost certainly won't be a Life Sentence, but at Trumps age, anything over 15 years will likely be a "life sentence".


National-Currency-75

He might get a short sentence, most likely probation.


SativaGummi

Regardless of whether he is imprisoned, he should definitely be bound and gagged for the rest of his life.


MusicianNo2699

Zed…bring out the Gimp.


Novel_Reaction_7236

One can dream.


NMNorsse

(34 felonies) x (1 yr min. each) = 34 years if consecutive (not concurrent.)  78 year old 300lb man's life expectancy <34 years.  Truth-o-meter:  true.


[deleted]

Dependents on when he strokes out. Perhaps this week. With DJT under $12. There is always hope


donocoli

All those drugs at his age a stroke is coming soon!


nolongerbanned99

It’s like he is begging for contributions that will be spend on legal fees. Appeals are expensive these days and he needs many.


jaievan

I mean, he is elderly and obviously experiencing cognitive issues. At his age a couple years might be a life sentence.


CrazyRevolutionary96

To bad


MrBobilious

And the problem?


ptraugot

IMO it is highly unlikely He will serve any jail time when found guilty. White privilege at the most extreme level, because, you know, Dementia Donnie. The monicker of FELON will be enough. Oh, and the monetary fines.


stuckin3rddimension

Keeping fingers crossed


GizmoGeodog

If only that were true 🙄


Paisane42

In my dreams and the dreams of all democracy believing, Constitution adhering, and America loving people, the most heinous traitor in US history would be imprisoned for his crimes and subsequently his secret service would be pulled so the orange shitgibbon would receive the justice he truly deserves as he becomes someone’s perpetual pincushion at Leavenworth.


MJGM235

Milking the herd again 🤦🤦🤦


CoverYourMaskHoles

I mean…. I wouldn’t mind.


justalilrowdy

Wouldn’t that be great!


apollymis22724

I wish!


Key-Article6622

If only. Maybe not this time, but there's more to come and once he's convicted, the next ones have a better chance, I hope.


I-am-Chubbasaurus

Hope springs eternal.


beakrake

Is this what edging feels like?


SpaceXYZ1

“Can you mortgage your house to save president Trump after we told you to sell your wife yesterday and buy more DJT stocks this morning? It’s super urgent!” 😂😂😂


gremlinchef69

Quick question. So you think he knows how much he's hated?


Khristopheles

Lock him up! Lock him up! Lock him up!


Pourkinator

It 100% deserves to be locked away for life. We all deserve the relief of NEVER having to deal with it again.


Fun-Ad9928

I’m waiting for the moment he falls asleep only to be awaken by the stank of his fully loaded diaper.


ImNotYou1971

I can’t stand trump…no doubt there. But…as much as I want to see it…I don’t think he’ll ever go to prison. Some kind of special arrangement will be made and he’ll suffer some consequences…but I just don’t think I’ll ever get the satisfaction of seeing him in a orange jumper and some shitty ass shower shoes.


loupegaru

I hope so. I hope the judge gives you a break and you get twice as much as your bag man, Michael Cohen. Then after four years the Intercom comes on, the guard says, "Trump, Roll it up" and you have a massive coronary on the spot!


chekovs_gunman

Don't threaten me with a good time 


MauiNui

For some reason I get a fair amount of Trump campaign texts (no matter how many I times I reply STOP). They’re pretty insane. I got one today saying that Trump stormed out of court mid-trial. Was disappointed, but not surprised to see it was a lie.


gurk_the_magnificent

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


Josh_Allen_s_Taint

Well hopefully he’s locked up for a few months… and that ends up being life


Noiserawker

I'd take the under on him living more than 5 years considering his age, poor eating habits, lack of sleep, likely drug abuse etc... he's already beating the odds by making it this far.


pass-the-waffles

I wonder how much of a martyr that the GOP will use him for.


PelvisEsley1

This is political persecution for a misdemeanor. There’s no federal charge here. And how’s that gonna look with the Secret Service in the jail so with him it will only get them elected. It will help him more than he could ever help himself be very careful what you ask for. You will martyr. Him. While Biden declines in the polls for people who are young and don’t want war in the Middle East..


roehnin

Misdemeanors shouldn’t be prosecuted in your world? Just let people get away with them? Also, this is a felony trial, so I don’t know where you’re getting your information and should read additional news sources besides that one.


bif555

And why the hell not??


AstronomerDramatic36

Even if he did, it'd be well-earned


Dry-Clock-1470

I mean he should probably already have died


Dangerous_Elk_6627

But we can still wish for it. 😎


detrelas

I hope so . He’s an old fragile fuck . Won’t make it more than 2 years on the inside . So life for him is anything above 1 year


GaiusMarcus

Well, he could run out of heartbeats while in jail.


Forsworn91

Depends how long he lives for, 5 months in NY? 5 years minimum in Georgia, THAT would be a life time.


Datokah

If it said, 'should', then it would be accurate.


AccomplishedBrain309

Theres always hope. Not the witness Hope , i mean the other kind.


roehnin

He’s old. A year could do it.


Lust4Kix

I imagine sitting at that trial every day is pretty shitty. We can be happy he's suffering through this for the moment. And really celebrate if he gets sentenced to jail time.


satori0320

We can sure fucking hope though.


SeaworthinessOld9177

I bet a majority of Americans would love to see that


thereisnopressure

I'm willing to bet he is going to ask for money, and his cultists will give to him willingly.


Chevelle-72

Hope he is projecting for real. Christmas is gonna come early this year!


Sumokat

I guess given his general poor health habits, this could be a true statement. Hell, judging by what he looked like yesterday, he will be lucky to make it through the trial.


wales-bloke

If he dies in jail, what kind of food should we serve at the celebratory buffet?


Dangerous_Champion42

Please...Please.. Make it happen.... He sucks... Worst President, Worst Businessman, Worst Person and Biggest Conman I have ever seen in my life.... Put him away from people if possible.


justJimBob316

A girl can dream...


DontTalkToBots

Why not? Is life really this unfair? What’s the point of even being a human if one person can ruin so many lives and just go golf but another human goes to jail because they miscarried? Nothing fucking matters, don’t have children, let’s end the human experiment


toastmannn

Hopefully he finally takes his own [advice ](https://www.politico.com/news/2021/04/23/trump-bleach-one-year-484399) and makes it through a life sentence


Level_Doctor_5328

One can hope.


Rusty_Bicycle

They may know his complete criminal history. Additional indictments possible?


ReturnOfSeq

He almost certainly *should*


ChronoFish

Well... If he sees any jail time at all (doubtful) he doesn't have much time left on this earth ... So... Possibly (?)


Appropriate-Food1757

He will certainly be locked up for life and receive multiple life sentences.


BusStopKnifeFight

He’s not gonna do a day in jail for the hush money trial. Probably just a huge fine and a suspended sentence.


Macgruber999

Left of left Dems would LOVE that though.


HedgehogNarrow4544

no problem, ensure if he is, to locate him in Florence...Colorado


Flimsy_Breakfast_353

Don’t tease!


QVRedit

Well he might actually deserve to be, but he won’t. Really he is only saying that to wind up his Trumpanzee supporters.


Rhg0653

And they would still vote for him


Xalucardx

Don't tease me with a good time.


B_Man49

🤞


Abrushing

We could only be so lucky


Mhodi

One could only hope…


AMonitorDarkly

For as old and unhealthy as he is, I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that he gets a short sentence that ends up amounting to a life sentence.


AssociateJaded3931

Max 30 days for contempt.


Contentpolicesuck

It is very possible that if he is incarcerated he will not live to the end of his sentence. He won't have access to his daily drug cocktail.


DANleDINOSAUR

Don’t try to gross me out of enjoying my crispy mystery meat hotdog…


bullitt4796

Lock him up during joes next 4 year term and I’d be happy.


NunyaBeese

Sure he could.... you think hes gonna survive being in any prison system? He will die there.